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S16.E03: Auditions 3

helenamonster

By helenamonster
in America's Got Talent

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saber5055

saber5055

One-half hour in and I don't think I've seen anything but singers except for the 70-year-old dancer they let in so everyone could ooh and aah about her being so freaking ANCIENT and still able to talk without drooling, and then make fun of her for being terrible, which they knew before she even walked on stage.

I do have to say that I thought Storm the 50-something (more ooh and aaah for her being able to stand upright at that age) was really ... well, not good. I would have given her a big fat no.

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Frisky Wig

Frisky Wig

Wow, the woman who thought she was Lady Gaga was awful. Like one of the judges mentioned, she clearly worked hard on the physical movements of her routine but damn, her singing was bad. And while I can respect the “I don’t have to shave to be attractive” or whatever mindset, her armpit hair was distracting. 
 

World Taekwondo was incredible! We’ve never seen anything like like that, have we? Maybe it’s because I love dancing but these acts (when they’re done well!) are always so much more deserving of golden buzzers than “Choir with an inspiring/sad backstory #3,268.” IMO, of course. 

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lambertman

lambertman

(edited)

Also immediately recognize Storm Large's name from "Rock Star" (although I thought she was on the INXS season at first, apparently confusing her with Jordis). Research shows she's been busy in recent years touring with Pink Martini, which seems to be a similar outfit to Postmodern Jukebox, but doing older music instead.

I thought she sounded great, and pretty original for this show.

Edited by lambertman
Cannot believe I typed “Flamingo”. Swear I knew better.
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saber5055

saber5055

7 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

Golden buzzer once again goes to an act that would have gotten 4 yeses anyway.

At least it was a fun and exciting and thrilling act. I don't remember any sob back story either, like they came from the slums where they all lived in mud huts. They just came out and killed it. I'm glad they got the GB. Actually when I think about it, all the GBs would have gotten four yeses anyway. While watching these amazing guys, I was wishing I had a GB to hit.

As for the pit hair, I'm one who thinks men need to shave that gross clump out of their pits too. Especially in the summer when it's dripping sweat and is doubly gross. At least trim it back guys, there is nothing "macho" about it.

It actually sorta kinda looked like that woman had fake pit hair just to make her more "controversial". Google "fake armpit hair" and see what I mean. I say it was just part of her act. You know, to get people talking about her online.

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sharifa70

sharifa70

(edited)
3 hours ago, lambertman said:

Research shows she's been busy in recent years touring with Pink Flamingo, which seems to be a similar outfit to Postmodern Jukebox, but doing older music instead.

The band is called Pink Martini and they’re pretty fantastic. They’re not really like PMJ in that Pink Martini performs the classics with their own arrangements that still keep to the style of the originals, whereas PMJ takes modern pop songs and puts a different spin on them. Storm started singing with them when China Forbes, their main singer, had something wrong with her vocal cords (I think) and I was surprised and delighted at how well she fit in (I had only ever seen her in her more rock style on Rockstar: Supernova). 

I’ve been a fan of Storm’s since her Rockstar days and I’m excited to see her here even though this show skews toward kids and sob stories so she doesn’t stand a chance. 

Where is the f-ing spider?

Ok, what is with the hairy armpits? More power to her for her choices, but was it necessary to show her brushing out her armpit hair with an actual brush?

I appreciated the taekwondo act but it seems out of place here.

Edited by sharifa70
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ams1001

ams1001

"Why did you come to AGT?"

The same reason everyone comes to AGT. Because the producers recruited me.

9 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

Also as usual the comic was only mildly funny.

That's pretty good for this show. I actually liked him. I don't expect to see him in the finals.

 

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saber5055

saber5055

7 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

"Why did you come to AGT?"

The same reason everyone comes to AGT. Because the producers recruited me.

I know. That's such a dumbass question. I just go "DUH" every time one of the judges is told to ask that.

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Tango64

Tango64

Any time someone comes out with that super cocky attitude about being a rock star!, everything and anything, I can do it all!, then I know they're going to be terrible. Even if she had proven to be a good singer, her attitude was still ugly and off putting. And man, was she ever a terrible singer. Did anyone catch the female backup performer's face when one of the judge's said the woman's singing was shockingly bad? She made a face like, "oh yeah, don't have to tell me."

I liked Storm's singing, but she's yet another tv-experienced professional whose agent booked her on the show. It should be called "America's Got Pro and Semi-Pro Entertainers Whose Agents Need Their 15%." 

The magician has a pretty good persona with the scary guy, but the trick was just so-so. Any grouping of ink blobs can look like a spider when folded. The resulting image probably wasn't even from the judge's ink blots. I'm guessing he ditches that one somehow in the thing he used with the rubber stamp, then his rubber stamp makes an image that looks very much like a spider so that 99% of people will say spider. The spider in the box may or may not have been real, probably not. Not bad, I guess. But Simon would still fall for the "got your nose!" trick every time and swear it's real magic.

A lot of balsa wood flying around that stage.

 

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saber5055

saber5055

1 hour ago, Tango64 said:

The magician has a pretty good persona with the scary guy, but the trick was just so-so. Any grouping of ink blobs can look like a spider when folded. The resulting image probably wasn't even from the judge's ink blots. I'm guessing he ditches that one somehow in the thing he used with the rubber stamp, then his rubber stamp makes an image that looks very much like a spider so that 99% of people will say spider. The spider in the box may or may not have been real, probably not. Not bad, I guess. But Simon would still fall for the "got your nose!" trick every time and swear it's real magic.

So much this, the bolded part. There was no way in heck Heidi's very exact placement of five ink spots would ever turn into what was shown to us. Plus, I thought the blobs looked like a woman with Megan Thee Stallion fingernails wearing a boa wrap. Of course, the judges all had to say it looked like a spider because that's the act.

I was thinking if I were one of the judges I would have ruined that trick by saying, "Ooooh, cool, a tarantula, so neat, can I hold it?" instead of jumping up and running away screaming as if the auditorium was being invaded by flesh-eating aliens like those four judges were instructed to do.

As for your hilarious statement about Simon and "got your nose" ... so funny and no kidding! Truer words were never posted here. So thanks for that laugh and great mental image.

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sharifa70

sharifa70

1 minute ago, saber5055 said:

Plus, I thought the blobs looked like a woman with Megan Thee Stallion fingernails wearing a boa wrap. Of course, the judges all had to say it looked like a spider because that's the act.

I thought it looked like a crab! I didn’t think it was a particularly good trick either (among other things, you can totally see him holding the ink bottle in his right hand before it “magically” appears in his left).

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marketdoctor

marketdoctor

I had to give the scary magician credit for making the audience disappear.  It was like you could still hear them!

I liked the Taekwondo act, and appreciated that the cameras were on what they were doing most of the time. 

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rr2911

rr2911

I missed last week although I don't know why. Probably because it wasn't very good. This week wasn't very good either, but I have to say something about the GB. I'm glad that dance/karate act got the GB. It's about time an entertaining act gets and deserves the GB. 

The magician was pretty good I thought. I guess I was the only one here that thought that the ink spot thingy looked like a spider. I don't believe the spider was real though. 

Those three dudes were good

Really, another subpar AGT night. 

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rr2911

rr2911

23 hours ago, marketdoctor said:

I had to give the scary magician credit for making the audience disappear.  It was like you could still hear them!

 

AGT is allowing a certain amount of the audience in, making sure they adhere to COVID protocol. Certain views of the audience is old footage of past seasons.

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CrystalBlue

CrystalBlue

Re the masked/hooded magician:  I immediately saw a spider too.  The tarantula in the box had to be one of those special effects props that is motorized to make it move.  The faux panic was so scripted!

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Mr. Sparkle

Mr. Sparkle

On 6/17/2021 at 7:29 PM, ketchuplover said:

I thought the 2nd trio was auto-tuned from here to eternity

Probably, and I've also noticed some other producer shenanigans. Two terrible acts - Bad Lady Gaga wannabe and Bad Old Boy Band - had awful mixes that highlighted their weak vocals. Also, the lack of applause (in a mostly empty theater) was noticeable. The favored acts got big applause, which was likely put in during production. I hope those crappy acts got the publicity they wanted! 

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CrystalBlue

CrystalBlue

4 hours ago, Superclam said:

Probably, and I've also noticed some other producer shenanigans. Two terrible acts - Bad Lady Gaga wannabe and Bad Old Boy Band - had awful mixes that highlighted their weak vocals. Also, the lack of applause (in a likely empty theater) was noticeable. The favored acts got big applause, which was likely put in during production. I hope those crappy acts got the publicity they wanted! 

Yeah, stop wasting our time on these retread rejects who already draw a paycheck, of sorts, doing their lame ass acts for someone somewhere.  Also, as much as a love rock n roll, I never even heard of a show called Rockstar.  Could have been airing during one of my no-TV periods.  Or I was at a rock concert.  That Pink Martini chick, whom I did not like, already has a gig.  I'd rather see and hear Susan Boyle sing any rock song because she's authentic and has a gifted voice and talent.  Not some poseur.  Rant over.

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Lonesome Rhodes

Lonesome Rhodes

Mixing cheerleading and the martial arts was very smart.  I saw too many unbroken pieces to lose my mind over this act.  Easily, however, the most worthy GB in memory.

Storm can go out to sea.  She can whale all she wants to out there.

Oh goody.  Another woke comedian.  

Creepy Crawler guy was zzzzz.  BUT...it was genius to make everyone wonder where the arachnid went.

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ams1001

ams1001

Facebook just reminded me that three years ago I posted this:

Quote

"Kid who wants a dog" has to be the saddest sob story I ever heard on America's Got Talent. 😢

Let's see if this season can top that.

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kirklandia

kirklandia

So, I am solidly in the Pink Martini demographic. And I have seen Storm Large perform with them at Zoo Tunes in Seattle, freakishly accompanied by the von Trapp family singers (and tragically two days after one of the band's founding members committed suicide).

I personally liked what she did with the song. But I don't think she has any business being on the AGT stage. Are all these people ringers?

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