LWT: Web Exclusives

[ahisma]

May 30, 2021

I usually love these web exclusives and there’s plenty of fun stuff here, like the Shaq/Tony love fest. But it feels a little off.

1) John loves spending HBO’s money on charity, but usually it’s for something playfully absurd that could happen (finding a rat erotica painting, or renaming a sewage plant). In what world could Cheerios actually tweet out “F. U.” and what would be the point and/or humor in it?

2) I know my brain has been quarantine mush, but I remember it being a trending story sometime in the last 2-14 months that cereals were being sold in jumbo sizes so you could eat them with your hands as a snack. That counts as big news in cereal, yes? 

[swanpride]

Above all cereals are basically a con.

[peeayebee]

10 hours ago, ahisma said:

2) I know my brain has been quarantine mush, but I remember it being a trending story sometime in the last 2-14 months that cereals were being sold in jumbo sizes so you could eat them with your hands as a snack. That counts as big news in cereal, yes? 

I never heard about that. Was it promoted that way?

I enjoyed John's cereal bit. We've recently started buying cereal, which I haven't eaten for years. My favorite is Honey Nut Cheerios, but I remember years ago (the 70's?) when Quaker introduced a granola cereal that was so good. It seemed to have everything in it. Oats, nuts, raisins, brown sugar, dates? Well, not everything, but it was different from other cereals.... I just googled. I think it used to be called 100% Natural Granola, but now it's Simply Granola. Whatevs.

Families make the good go round."What the fuck are you talking about, ya oat hoops!"

[ahisma]

2 hours ago, peeayebee said:

I never heard about that. Was it promoted that way?

I had to Google and it was apparently last October. I heard about them someplace like Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, but they’re real. (I remember hearing some time before that, that Millennials/Gen-Z don’t eat cereal because getting a bowl, spoon, and milk is too much of a bother, so I assume this was the corporate response. And/or capitalizing on marijuana legalization! 😄)

 

Oh, we used to get that granola when I was a kid! It was so good!

[Hanahope]

I’m what about the keto cereals like Magic Spoon?

[Victor the Crab]

I'm surprised Ollie didn't bring up the infamous Quake v Quisp battles of the 60s and early 70s that resulted in a contest to see who liked what better, with the loser being discontinued - and the loser was Quake. That caused some serious riffs amongst siblings for a long while!

Is Reece's Puffs still available in the United States? I know they're are here in Canada. Personally, I wish Kellogg's would continue selling Apple Jacks here on a regular basis, instead of seasonal!

I think if Ollie were serious about Cheerios tweeting out "Fuck You", he'd need to bump up HBO's his price considerably, like say (Dr. Evil pose)...ONE...MILLION...DOLLARS!!!

[xaxat]

 

 

 

[SoMuchTV]

4 hours ago, xaxat said:

 

 

 

I can't remember the last time I literally LOL'd at something on the internet.  My cats are looking at me funny.

 

Well played, both Cheerios and John.

edited to add:  if they both follow through I hope someone will post John’s charity. I will seriously consider donating to both. 

Edited June 2, 2021 by SoMuchTV

[JustHereForFood]

I don't really get the joke of those photos. Can someone explain?

[Epeolatrix]

They are pictures of the Manson Family (murderers), the Menendez Brothers (murderers), and a reference to the Sackler family of pharmaceutical murderers (largely responsible for the opioid crisis).

 

Edited June 2, 2021 by Epeolatrix
Fix context and a typo

[xaxat]

Remember when John said he would double the donation if Cheerios tweeted "Fuck you!" at a random twitter account?

 

[purist]

When I saw the LWT 'family' tweets my first reaction was 'Oh no you didn't!' and then I laughed so hard I almost cried. I am enjoying this stunt hugely!

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, purist said:

When I saw the LWT 'family' tweets my first reaction was 'Oh no you didn't!' and then I laughed so hard I almost cried. I am enjoying this stunt hugely!

Me too. First Danbury and now Cheerios. He sure knows how to stir things up. 

[JustHereForFood]

13 hours ago, Epeolatrix said:

They are pictures of the Manson Family (murderers), the Menendez Brothers (murderers), and a reference to the Sackler family of pharmaceutical murderers (largely responsible for the opioid crisis).

 

Thanks for the explanation, it makes sense now.

[Popples]

 

[Lantern7]

16 minutes ago, Popples said:

 

Ya beat me to it. Great stuff. Octopuses really are fascinating weirdos.

[purist]

Oh, that is just DELIGHTFUL. Thanks, @Popples!

[peeayebee]

Man, this was awesome! But then, octopuses are awesome. Stealth bagpipes.

Love him explaining the correct plural of octopus and then saying, "Now you know how to end a Tinder date in 10 seconds." And him trashing how humans look. "At our absolute best, we're a bunch of tubes."

I have this t-shirt.

 

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by peeayebee

[JustHereForFood]

Now I want a segment each week of John just happily talking about random animals.

I closed my eyes during the clip of the human apparently having an octopus in his mouth, because I know I would want to unsee that. Did I miss anything significant?

[peeayebee]

Nope. I was worried we'd see him choking on the octopus as it went down his throat, but the clip was just a little octopus coming out of his mouth. 

[purist]

Stealth bagpipes: the name of my next band. 😁

[peeayebee]

Just read this interview in the NYT with Sy Montgomery, the author of a book on octopuses, "The Soul of an Octopus". Very interesting, of course. I put it on hold at my library. 

What I read is actually the transcription from a podcast, The Ezra Klein Show, so if you can't read the article at the NYT, you can go to iTunes or wherever and find the podcast there.

From the article I learned that octopuses love to play and solve puzzles, they can recognize individual faces (e.g., people they like vs people they don't like), the females lay eggs (eggs!) only once in their lifetimes, and that's toward the end of life. Also, some people use octopus legs for fishing bait because the legs continue to move after they're cut off.

[Popples]

 

[purist]

Teeheeheeeeeeeeee I don't think anyone else but John Oliver could do such a hilarious and, frankly, wholesome piece about long animated penises. I was a bit worried it might be smutty and frat-boyish, but it's not.

[peeayebee]

I was so happy to see a new LWT video in my Twitter feed this morning.

It didn't disappoint. I had a silly grin on my face during the whole first part. That kind of went away with the clip of the British anchorman who made the whole thing dirty. "Why can't it come out of his chest?" Why can't it come out of his CHEST?!? What does he want, to give children nightmares with a claymation 'Alien'?

John Dillermand is a sweet, funny, silly show. It would never survive in this country, but that's our loss.

[JustHereForFood]

This was hilarious. I have already heard about that cartoon and I admit that my initial reaction was also something like "Why?", so I don't blame Holly and Phil for their bewildered reactions there. But those clips looked innocent enough and hey, if a children psychologist says it's okay for kids, then I guess it's fine. John's penis was hilarious. Although, I kept seeing it more as a cat's tail for some reason.

[Popples]

42 minutes ago, peeayebee said:

John Dillermand is a sweet, funny, silly show. It would never survive in this country, but that's our loss.

Someone in the YouTube comments section said if it did air in the US, it would have to be at 3 AM on Adult Swim.

[Popples]

In case you wanted to know how John's penis was animated:

 

[peeayebee]

Quote

In case you wanted to know how John's penis was animated

I didn't know I wanted to know, but now I'm glad I know.

I never considered it started as a real object. I mean, the clay-covered cable, not... you know.

[Lantern7]

John talks about Air Bud way longer than needed in order to prove a point. He doesn't go mental like with his analysis of The Da Vinci Code, but it's still a fun watch.

 

Edited April 25, 2022 by Lantern7

[ahisma]

1 hour ago, Lantern7 said:

John talks about Air Bud way longer than needed in order to prove a point. He doesn't go mental like with his analysis of The Da Vinci Code, but it's still a fun watch.

Honestly, I loved it! All 14+ ramble minutes. I’ve never seen the movie (other than that “rules” clip), and now I never have to. 

[Annber03]

"I'm a material generator who distributes content units designed to occupy your time between now and death." 

There's a tagline for the show XD. 

56 minutes ago, ahisma said:

Honestly, I loved it! All 14+ ramble minutes. I’ve never seen the movie (other than that “rules” clip), and now I never have to. 

I saw that movie once, in the theater, I think shortly after it came out. I would've been about 12, 13 at the time. I have practically no memory of anything that happens in it, though, outside of, of course, the dog playing basketball. So this was a great refresher for me :D. 

I also loved John commenting on the producer of the film. I would seriously watch a show where he just reviews goofy movies all the time :p. 

[peeayebee]

This was fun, a welcome break from the real world.

[AimingforYoko]

A lot of people in the YouTube comments noted it seemed a lot like Daniel O'Brien's Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder. O'Brien is a writer on the show. Here's an example:

 

[andromeda331]

I love John at the end asking why he's talking about Air Bud and answering, there's no law against it. Thanks for laugh John. 

[Popples]

John's talking about rocks.

[Annber03]

That video was a trip from start to finish, good lord. 

-The whole thing with furries XD. What in the ever-loving...? That Nebraska politician's take on them - that was, um...certainly...a thing that was said, mmhm. 

-Kandiss, and others like her, really need to get out more. 

-Goddamnit, what a way for Iowa to pop up in this story. 

[tessaray]

2 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Goddamnit, what a way for Iowa to pop up in this story. 

Sigh... Well, we are the state that produced Steve King. Though there are so many more repulsive people in Congress now, I was hoping we'd live that down eventually. 

I don't even blink at weird name spellings anymore. Kandiss is pretty tame.

[peeayebee]

6 hours ago, tessaray said:

I don't even blink at weird name spellings anymore. Kandiss is pretty tame.

Yeah, I used to laugh at different name spellings, but they kinda roll off my back now. People can spell their names any way they want. 

But that woman... Holy cow. I'm relieved she lost because these days, you never know how well bat-shit crazy candidates will do.

[xaxat]

Trump loyalist who lost Georgia governor primary with just 3.4% of the vote is refusing to admit defeat

The most disturbing line in the piece?

Quote

(Taylor has a PhD in school counseling and supervision.)

[paigow]

The KKK is surprisingly inclusive... multi-lingual messages are a great way of building trust and communication... 

[Annber03]

5 hours ago, peeayebee said:

But that woman... Holy cow. I'm relieved she lost because these days, you never know how well bat-shit crazy candidates will do.

She reminded me of that one woman who ran for some kind of political office about a decade or so ago, I can't remember her name right off hand, but she kept going on about witches and Satanism or something. I want to say she was from...Delaware, I think it was? 

[JustHereForFood]

Me, in the morning as I start the computer: "John is off this week, what will I watch with breakfast, while I pretend to start working?" Then I see that there is a web exclusive, almost as long as an entire segmet. "OK, that is settled then." 😄

I liked how he narrated the plot journey from the governor race through furries all the way to those rocks. What a weird structure. There's nothing like some modern archirecture emulating an ancient mystery with some racism thrown in for good measure.

And wow, I would say that the slogan "Jesus, guns, babies" did not age well, but those it was meant for probably don't think so, so...

[Annber03]

27 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

And wow, I would say that the slogan "Jesus, guns, babies" did not age well, but those it was meant for probably don't think so, so...

Yeeeeeeeeeeeah, the sooner I stop seeing that stupid slogan, or any political ads in which candidates are proudly showing off and/or shooting guns, the better. That shit needs to go away, fast. 

[Popples]

I don't know if John has anything to do with this directly, but Kandiss Taylor has been banned from YouTube!

[Popples]

[Lantern7]

Well. Shit. Maybe the state of Texas is cursed. At least John offering HBO money can be used for something worthwhile . . . purchasing and destroying a shitload of barnacle-loaded dolls and dolls’ heads.

[peeayebee]

Oh. My. God. 

Those are some freaky, creepy, disturbing dolls. What I don't get is why there are different kinds. I wouldn't be so perplexed if they all looked the same (barnacles aside), like if they were fell off a container ship. But like John said, Where did they come from? Do children from all over the world take their dolls into the ocean and then lose them? Or is it simply that some prankster is dropping various dolls into the ocean to see where they come up?

And I swear that sex doll one is from a horror movie.

[andromeda331]

Thanks for the nightmares John.

[Annber03]

"Burn them. Burn them NOW."

My thoughts exactly, John. Hooooooooooly hell, I don't know which one disturbed me more - Barnacle Baby #3 in all its deformed glory or the sex doll one. I did keep flinching every time the latter popped up on the screen, so I guess that may answer that question. Just...what? Why? HOW?!

This would make for one fantastic horror movie premise. And I can also foresee an episode of some true crime show where someone discovers a body washed up on the Gulf shore of Texas, and people don't realize it's an actual body at first because they think it's one of these freaky-ass dolls that kept showing up. 

I like John's suggested resolution to this nightmare, though. Wonder if they'll take him up on the offer.