S05.E8: Crawl Me Maybe

[snarts]

Quote

It’s a house divided for Girls’ and Guys’ Night. Lindsay and Luke’s maybe-not-so-innocent friendship is called into question when Amanda and Paige confront them about the juicy hookup rumor. But the party must go on as the housemates organize a bar crawl through their rooms, where sparks fly between Ciara and Carl, who slips up and puts his sobriety at risk. Finally, all hell breaks loose when the guys corner Luke and demand he account for his behavior.

Air Date: 03/25/2021

[RedDelicious]

 

 

 

 

(Lindsay and Luke totally did it)

[Lassus]

This episode is gross.  Everyone is gross.

[RedDelicious]

Luke has been a walking panic attack this entire episode.

[Lassus]

Nothing in this episode is as disturbing as Lindsey's talking head hair extensions.

I mean, Lindsey is awful, but she deserves to be upset at this.

Edited March 26, 2021 by Lassus

[Lassus]

STFU Amish shithead.

What an asshole.  You're SOOOOOOOOO special.

[Lassus]

JUST when I started to see why people were so upset with Luke, Kyle went nutso.

CHILDREN

BOYS

God, how pathetic.

[RedDelicious]

that whole bar crawl thing seemed so...wasteful 😬 how much do you think they spent on decorations that they have no place to store in their tiny nyc apartments?

why didn’t they just clean their rooms, get dressed up and each person serve their signature drink in their respective room. and then everyone come together to eat dinner at the end.

everyone was so drunk both nights.

 

(and lindsay & luke totally did it)

[TeeMo]

Every time Hannah inserts herself into Ciara’s annoyance with Luke, I crack up. “He keeps trying to flirt with both of us!” Hannah, honey, he is only trying to get into Ciara’s bed these days. Give it up. Also, once again I realize there is not one person I like on this program yet here I am.

[heatherchandler]

I don’t even know if I can watch this show anymore, Kyle and Amanda bug me so much. They act like they own the house and the others are guests.  
 

Kyle called the guys vaginabreath?  He’s fucking gross.

[IntrovertRed]

How old is Kyle?  He certainly isn't acting his age and his drunken antics are disgusting. His family (and future children) must be so proud of him peeing on camera among other things.  Idiot.  And I used to like Amanda, but she just enables him. 

So many of the issues with the group have all started from Hannah.  She is just vile and always looks like she needs a shower.  I couldn't even watch her on that talk show with Kate and Porsha.  

Two years ago if you would have told me that Carl was one of the most mature of the group, I would have laughed.

Both Ciara and Danielle seem so normal, but   who knows anymore.... I also think Ciara unknowingly let Hannah manipulate her so she (Ciara) would fit in with the group. 

Lindsay and Luke definitely fucked.  Why not just own it.  

[RedDelicious]

10 hours ago, KLJ said:

How old is Kyle?  He certainly isn't acting his age and his drunken antics are disgusting. His family (and future children) must be so proud of him peeing on camera among other things.  Idiot.  And I used to like Amanda, but she just enables him. 

So many of the issues with the group have all started from Hannah.  She is just vile and always looks like she needs a shower.  I couldn't even watch her on that talk show with Kate and Porsha.  

Two years ago if you would have told me that Carl was one of the most mature of the group, I would have laughed.

Both Ciara and Danielle seem so normal, but   who knows anymore.... I also think Ciara unknowingly let Hannah manipulate her so she (Ciara) would fit in with the group. 

Lindsay and Luke definitely fucked.  Why not just own it.  

He's 38. He acts like he's 18 and just had his first beer. The rage came out! I actually started getting a little uncomfortable when he really started yelling because that was scary.

My only issue with Danielle is she's Lindsay's yes girl. She doesn't really play much of a role in the show beyond that. I really love Ciara's chill demeanor. She keeps her cool and discusses things rationally. I wish I could be friends with her.

Seriously Lindsay and Luke. So what if they did, right? The massive issue I have is that they're both so clearly lying about it. Why NOT just own it? At the end of the day I don't think anyone would be bothered by it. They're both free agents and we know they're both out for themselves, so who cares? Just don't play the high and mighty game like it's beneath you to give in. Luke was so visibly uncomfortable during the entire episode because he knew his secret was out and it was going to push Ciara even further away from him than she already was.

I got a kick out of the supposed reformed f*ck boys going after Luke. In a way I feel like that wasn't really fair. Once a f*ck boy, always a f*ck boy. They don't ever change, they just go on pause. I kind of don't blame Luke for getting activated. Regardless I wouldn't touch any of them with a 10-foot pole.

ETA: I didn't like Paige until this season. She's loosened up and is able to laugh and have fun. She's a bit of a gossip girl, but I do love the gossip 😄

 

Edited March 26, 2021 by RedDelicious

[SarahPrtr]

37 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

 I really love Ciara's chill demeanor. She keeps her cool and discusses things rationally. I wish I could be friends with her.

She's an ICU nurse who's been with Covid patients.  She was around death and mayhem for months.  This summer house is absolutely nothing compared to that.  She's not a mothers, but it's like the picture with "I'm a mother and a nurse.  NOTHING scares me."

 

Quote

I got a kick out of the supposed reformed f*ck boys going after Luke. In a way I feel like that wasn't really fair. Once a f*ck boy, always a f*ck boy. They don't ever change, they just go on pause. I kind of don't blame Luke for getting activated. Regardless I wouldn't touch any of them with a 10-foot pole.

😆😆😆😆😆  OMG, you're so funny!!!  So they're like sleeper f-boys.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.  Except they don't rinse, because they're all gross.  Same story, again and again and again.

Edited March 26, 2021 by SarahPrtr
,

[bichonblitz]

34 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

He's 38. He acts like he's 18 and just had his first beer. The rage came out! I actually started getting a little uncomfortable when he really started yelling because that was scary.

 Dumbass Amanda is ready to start a family with this man child. Good luck with that, girl. Get back on that birth control asap!

Carl started drinking again and immediately turned in to the asshole we all know and love to hate. I hope he gets a handle on that. 

So is texting to the opposite sex after 9pm a big fat indication that you have no class and are a jerk? I had no idea. Singles millenium etiquette. I'm getting so old. 

[Mr. Miner]

11 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

I don’t even know if I can watch this show anymore, Kyle and Amanda bug me so much. They act like they own the house and the others are guests.  
 

Kyle called the guys vaginabreath?  He’s fucking gross.

And he’s a fucking lightweight!

[RedDelicious]

21 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

And he’s a fucking lightweight!

He's a pocket bro.

[FozzyBear]

People! People, people, people. I don’t even like Lindsay or Luke, but come on! What the fuck do you want from them? I mean...Accusations from a psychic? Drunk armchair psychology from Kyle? Being asked to become the manifestation of all of Carl issues? Obscure text etiquette? What the hell people? It’s too much. Way too much. Dial it all back. And by the way, as loathsome as Luke and Lindsay are, all of these complaints can be traced back to Hannah. Perhaps that girl is smarter than I gave her credit for. She managed to instigate quite the uprising against Luke and Lindsey and it looks like she’ll manage to keep her hands clean at the same time. She did spend most of the evening looking smugly pleased at the chaos she started. I’m really starting to loath her.

[TheCouchPotato]

Can Hannah bathe or at least look like she’s bathed?  I can’t get past the oily hair and residual makeup from the night before. I feel like I need a tetanus shot after her scenes.  Kyle needs to audition for an oompah - so tired of his “feminist” attitude when you know he’s clearly has aggression issues with women. 

[PhilMarlowe2]

1 hour ago, FozzyBear said:

People! People, people, people. I don’t even like Lindsay or Luke, but come on! What the fuck do you want from them? I mean...Accusations from a psychic? Drunk armchair psychology from Kyle? Being asked to become the manifestation of all of Carl issues? Obscure text etiquette? What the hell people? It’s too much. Way too much. Dial it all back. And by the way, as loathsome as Luke and Lindsay are, all of these complaints can be traced back to Hannah. Perhaps that girl is smarter than I gave her credit for. She managed to instigate quite the uprising against Luke and Lindsey and it looks like she’ll manage to keep her hands clean at the same time. She did spend most of the evening looking smugly pleased at the chaos she started. I’m really starting to loath her.

She's literally been doing this since last season. If you go back and watch, all that drama between Paige/Amanda and Lindsay originated from Hannah running between the two parties, reporting what they said to one another, and then backing away like she had nothing to do with it. It's her MO.

Edited March 26, 2021 by PhilMarlowe2

[snarts]

I would've happily lived my whole life not hearing the phone sex convo between Hannah and Dez.  Her breathy voice will haunt me.

As will Lindsey bellowing "Do you know who I am?" from the balcony...but it a different, funny way.

Actually felt bad for Luke for a hot minute. He was clearly the outcast both on guys night and then for the room crawl.  But there's something about him that I just find so off-putting.  Guys night highlighted for me that they need to add another guy to the house, it's unbalanced.  Three is never the magic number.

Paige & Luke were entertaining on WWHL, she said they're much better friends now.

Oh, and Luke/Lindsey totally did it.  

[geauxaway]

Those robes Hannah provided for the girls night were just as tacky and ratchet looking as she is.  Like we know Paige has a steamer in her closet room.  
 

Has anyone ever figured out why Hannah wears a necklace that says Butter?  Is it because she is greasy?  

[SarahPrtr]

5 hours ago, geauxaway said:

Has anyone ever figured out why Hannah wears a necklace that says Butter?  Is it because she is greasy?  

Yes, and she's trying to 'create discussion' and hoping to generate curiosity and be all meta.  That, or she's just watched Last Tango In Paris.  Also disturbing and horrible.  Hannah is a shit stirrer and she's doing what Cristina was doing in season 1.

 

My husband and I have never been that couple who text and call each other during the day.  Unless there's an actual emergency, we don't keep in touch.  So, I want to tell young couples to not worry if they're not talking to each other all day long and that it's not an indication of anything.

 

I've always thought that Lindsay was trying to look like Jessica Simpson.  And she's ALWAYS defensive.  About EV-ERR-RY-THING.  She's a lot like GG from Shahs.  So combative with no impulse control.  She's always the victim.  Always takes something completely unrelated and benign and turns it into a shitstorm for No Reason, but to scream at someone. 

 

DO NOT have sex with Carl, Ciara!!!  Don't go there, and don't even joke about it.  Every single woman on the show who has had sex with him ended up being temporarily insane and undignified.  Her comment about the only things being open after 10pm are the gas station and your legs did make me burst out laughing. 

 

I also do not believe for a second that Carl has somehow turned over a new leaf or has become a better person.  I'm not going to believe that he has suddenly had some sort of epiphany due to his brother passing.  I'm sorry about that, and I also hope that he stays sober, but people like Carl don't change because of a major event, even a tragedy.  If anything, he is going to use it as an excuse for misbehaving or treating others worse than usual.  He's very good at masking the shit he is underneath.  I absolutely hate that fake Tom-Cruise-possessed-by-Zenu smile that Carl displays.

 

And you don't need someone like Luke as a friend.  He's a pissy, weak little bitch.  He keeps trying to prove his strength by splitting wood, but he fails every time.  He's one of those men who believes that he's 'A Nice Guy', but he's not At All, and he's manipulative and controlling.  He believes that doing nice things for women gives him the right to get a piece of them.  Like the time he gave flowers to Ciara and thought that was enough for her to spend time with him and was shocked when she didn't care.

 

Edited March 27, 2021 by SarahPrtr
.

[Luckylondon]

17 hours ago, geauxaway said:

Has anyone ever figured out why Hannah wears a necklace that says Butter?  Is it because she is greasy?  

I don’t know for sure, but I feel like I remember it being her cat’s name? That sounds right to me. 

[DrSparkles]

The bro fight was sad. As in, pathetic.

who was w Luke when he came barreling in in the preview?

Edited March 30, 2021 by DrSparkles

[sugarbaker design]

22 hours ago, DrSparkles said:

The bro fight was sad. As in, pathetic.

who was w Luke when he came barreling in in the preview?

It seemed like he was fighting with production.

[FozzyBear]

3 hours ago, sugarbaker design said:

It seemed like he was fighting with production.

That was my impression too. I thought production was trying to get him to leave an calm down and then he changed back into the house.

[Rambunctiouscurls]

I know Ciara has every right and should rebuff Luke but I have this feeling that she is joining in with the attack on Luke to ingratiate herself with the crowd and I just cannot feel good about that. Lindsey is his only support right now and I am team Luke for the sole reason that I hate ganging up on anybody! Except Hannah and she is the reason for this gangbang  anyway. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by Rambunctiouscurls

[Rambunctiouscurls]

On 3/26/2021 at 7:38 AM, bichonblitz said:

 Dumbass Amanda is ready to start a family with this man child. Good luck with that, girl. Get back on that birth control asap!

Carl started drinking again and immediately turned in to the asshole we all know and love to hate. I hope he gets a handle on that. 

So is texting to the opposite sex after 9pm a big fat indication that you have no class and are a jerk? I had no idea. Singles millenium etiquette. I'm getting so old. 

Only if it says “ Are you up” and it’s at 2 a.m or later which btw is exactly what Kyle used to do to Amanda in the first season and she would come running over every time.  😂

Edited April 1, 2021 by Rambunctiouscurls

[FozzyBear]

5 hours ago, Rambunctiouscurls said:

I know Ciara has every right and should rebuff Luke but I have this feeling that she is joining in with the attack on Luke to ingratiate herself with the crowd and I just cannot feel good about that. Lindsey is his only support right now and I am team Luke for the sole reason that I hate ganging up on anybody! Except Hannah and she is the reason for this gangbang  anyway. 

I agree. I think Cierra is right not to want to date Luke and to set firm boundaries to avoid drama, but that was getting a little over the top. It felt like a drunken gang up on Luke over nothing really. Just your standard reality TV “you’re not owning it!” fight. Those ways really boil down to “you refuse to 100 % agree with my assessment of your behavior and keep trying to tell me how you feel after I have already told you how you feel!” It’s never a good look when someone becomes the Owning It Police on one of these shows. 

[FozzyBear]

2 hours ago, Rambunctiouscurls said:

Only if it says “ Are you up” and it’s at 2 a.m or later which btw is exactly what Kyle used to do to Amanda in the first season and she would come running over every time.  😂

I’ve been rewatching the early seasons and Amanda’s attachment to Kyle is just baffling. She was a young, pretty, successful girl living in Manhattan and decided she needed to have Kyle? Why? I like the guy, but why? She was so young and so desperate to get married to Kyle of all people. I’m still puzzled that her main goal seems to be having Kyle’s babies. I mean, do you, but really? That guy?

[Rambunctiouscurls]

I think Amanda either enjoys being a martyr and/or is deeply insecure and afraid of being alone. She has latched on to Kyle and she won’t let go. She allowed the dynamic of being available to his beck and call early on with the booty call texts. I refuse to believe that  d is worth all this trouble. 😂
 

Kyle can do anything and she won’t leave him. She will just whine and threaten to make a decision and never really specifies what that decision would be cuz it won’t be a break up. It’s frustrating to watch and hear her extra whiny voice. A friend recently eloquently put it this way-she is  willing to be a carpet and let people walk all over.

 She really should take notes from Paige who is the exact opposite of Amanda. She lets people know how to treat her and that is how she is treated. When Carl was attempting to half woo her, she let him know, either wine and dine me in the city during the week or no cigar and he pouted for a season because it was so hard! 😏 Ultimately all three are Fboys and should be paid dust. 

Edited April 2, 2021 by Rambunctiouscurls
There is always that pesky typo

[SarahPrtr]

53 minutes ago, Rambunctiouscurls said:

I think Amanda either enjoys being a martyr and/or is deeply insecure and afraid of being alone. She has latched on to Kyle and she won’t let go. She allowed the dynamic of being available to his beck and call early on with the booty call texts. I refuse to believe that  d is worth all this trouble. 😂
 

Kyle can do anything and she won’t leave him. She will just whine and threaten to make a decision and never really specifies what that decision would be cuz it won’t be a break up. It’s frustrating to watch and hear her extra whiny voice. A friend recently eloquently put it this way-she is  willing to be a carpet and let people walk all over.

Like Brittany with Jax in Vanderpump Rules, except Amanda is so much smarter than Brit and has actual skills and talent.

 

53 minutes ago, Rambunctiouscurls said:

 She really should take notes from Paige who is the exact opposite of Amanda. She lets people know how to treat her and that is how she is treated. When Carl was attempting to half woo her, she let him know, either wine and dine me in the city during the week or no cigar and he pouted for a season because it was so hard! 😏 Ultimately all three are Fboys and should be paid dust. 

Amanda should read The Rules or something!  As ridiculous as the book is, there are some things there which shows women and girls how to teach men to treat them.  Paige made out with Carl and they spooned in bed, but I was so glad to see her be able to resist him and not accept him just doing whatever he wanted (ie. nothing) during the week and expect to be able to bonk her on the weekends.  Good for her.  She's the only one on the show who has displayed some dignity even when she was around shitty people. 

 

Amanda and Paige both have loving parents who treat their daughters well, so I wonder what is making Amanda cling onto a dick like Kyle who treats her like shit most of the time.

[gaPeach]

I am rewatching this show and had to come say something about the vapid females in this house.  I do not know what it is about Luke that the girls do not like but I think he is the most stable and calm guy in the house!  But Hannah has poisoned the girls against him and Ciera has doubled down on it with the "texting after 10 only means he wants to have sex and lord his power over her" BS!  Nothing Luke does at this point will be accepted by the Bitch Squad.

Their proclaiming Luke and Lindsey did sleep together because the Physic said so and, well they all KNOW FOR A FACT they did.  Why?  Because they don't like Lindsey or Luke.

The good thing is, I know who ends up out of the house and disliked by most, and how gets back in the house and is in as of last season.

I just don't get the Luke hate other than the bitches in the house made it their mission to get him out.  Again, he is the nicest guy of the group.  I am on Team Luke.