S03.E23: Life After Lockup: Ex Con-versations

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Shawn tracks down his missing fiancée; Amber's reunion re-ignites issues with Vince.

They mentioned both Shawn and Vince in the same episode description.  It's a virtual who's who of the least intelligent people ever featured on this show.  As we saw previously, Shawn may be finally realizing that he is not Destinie's one great love.  Shawn is a walking wallet that will soon be very empty.  

Puppy and Amber's Mom (Citrine?  Rose Quartz?) had dreams of Amber marrying Vince for his juicy military benefits.  A few things thwarted their plans. 1) Amber cannot pretend to be attracted to mouth breather Vince. 2) Vince wanted to transform Amber into his workout partner (because nothing says I love you like I want you to change your body for me). 2) Vince may or may not actually be in the military.  His story is as solid as a guy in a bar telling you he's not supposed to tell you he works for the CIA. 3) Amber is in love with Puppy and is currently living with Puppy's mom, now known as Dog.  Puppy is due to be released.  Expect Amber to show attraction to someone; don't expect it to be Vince. 

Original air date 2020.12.18

As always, NO SPOILERS in the episode threads.  Take it to the character threads please. 

[hookedontv]

On 12/15/2020 at 3:41 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Amber is in love with Puppy and is currently living with Puppy's mom, now known as Dog.

Dead. 💀

I can't stop laughing @PrincessPurrsALot, this was brilliant.

[itsadryheat]

"Gay For The Stay"

Learning alot from this great show.

[OoogleEyes]

Is that woman Amber's mom or Puppy's mom. I  thought she was Amber's mom

[HorrrGoodnight]

Andrea reeeeeeeally needs to lay off the weaves. However, the way Lamar said "Where you come from??" kinda made my night 😂

[RealReality]

How old is Priscilla

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, OoogleEyes said:

Is that woman Amber's mom or Puppy's mom. I  thought she was Amber's mom

It’s Puppy’s mom whom she lives with.  Last episode she picked up her mom from prison but maybe mom is at a halfway house, they didn’t say.

1 minute ago, RealReality said:

How old is Priscilla

I think 8.  She was conceived in the broom closet at the prison.  Maybe they should have named her Pine Sol.

[RealReality]

2 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

It’s Puppy’s mom whom she lives with.  Last episode she picked up her mom from prison but maybe mom is at a halfway house, they didn’t say.

I think 8.  She was conceived in the broom closet at the prison.  Maybe they should have named her Pine Sol.

She seems a little slow for an 8 year old.  Her speech is just so....slow.  

[1011101010001]

Shavon’s friend is handsome, kind, and well-spoken, so I guess he can’t compete with a churlish bad boy.

1 minute ago, RealReality said:

She seems a little slow for an 8 year old.  Her speech is just so....slow.  

Both her parents have oversized heads, and so she seems to have one squared.

Edited December 19, 2020 by MrBuhBye

[RealReality]

LOL, Shavel was giving me Megan flashbacks.  No way was that guy interested in her and she went after Quaylon, who, by the way, is as high as a kite.  

[1011101010001]

17 minutes ago, RealReality said:

LOL, Shavel was giving me Megan flashbacks.  No way was that guy interested in her and she went after Quaylon, who, by the way, is as high as a kite.  

I don’t usually think subtitles are necessary but when the chaps were relaxing outside the barber shop I needed them.

[RealReality]

Puppy looks like Tina's friend on Bob's Burger

Puppy is ready to go right back into the system.  LOL.  

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

It’s Puppy’s mom whom she lives with.  Last episode she picked up her mom from prison but maybe mom is at a halfway house, they didn’t say.

I think 8.  She was conceived in the broom closet at the prison.  Maybe they should have named her Pine Sol.

So now we have Puppy's mom who I have deemed Dog and Priscilla who will now be known as Pine Sol.  At moments like this I love you all so much I will be your outside boo when you get locked up. 

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

Shavon’s friend is handsome, kind, and well-spoken, so I guess he can’t compete with a churlish bad boy.

Both her parents have oversized heads, and so she seems to have one squared.

Keegan-Michael Key's teacher has some words for Quaylon:

[RealReality]

Is matt sharp trying to do a cross over between 90 df and LAL?  A trip to ghana?  I want to believe in good intentions but I feel like someone just wants to travel somewhere they can get away without taking any covid precautions. 

[Pepper Mostly]

9 hours ago, RealReality said:

She seems a little slow for an 8 year old.  Her speech is just so....slow.  

To be fair, she could just be having trouble remembering her lines.

[sempervivum]

At least Amber seems to have Puppy's number: 'With Puppy, it's all about the hustle'. Yeah, I don't think it'll ever be 'all about the job' for the Pupster.

Instead of calling his bank, Shawn flies from Las Vegas to Redding(?) California to take the charge card away from Density. That's after she demands. and he sends her, $100.🙄

Is Sharp actually going to foot the bill for a trip to Ghana for 3-4-5 (?) people? Yeah, maybe Tennison can fall in love with a 60 year old Ghanian woman and bring her back to the hood on a fiancee visa. 

So is Quaylude actually barbering at Cadillac's barber shop, or is he just sweeping up hair? He looks like a clown in his silly matchy-matchy outfits, and yes, he is wasted. Prediction: Shavel will take him back (for a while, at least).

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, RealReality said:

Puppy is ready to go right back into the system.  LOL.  

Yeah, she’s too comfortable with scamming. Amber said she feels good about earning an honest living; I don’t see that with Puppy. I also wonder if Puppy is using Amber for a soft place to land now that she’s out. 

I fell out when Tennyson asked if it was legal for them to be swimming in somebody else’s pool.

13 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Andrea reeeeeeeally needs to lay off the weaves. However, the way Lamar said "Where you come from??" kinda made my night 😂

There was a shot when she was confronting Lamar, filmed from the side her part is on. She really has very little hair of her own. 

I would normally assume the scene where Shawn was calling the pizza place was fake, but Shawn strikes me as dumb enough to do that rather than fucking calling the card and reporting it (AND HIS GODDAMN CAR) stolen, which he should have done from the get. Also if he knows the pizza place is in whatever town her sister lives in, he could make the assumption that that’s where she is. Destinie is straight up trash and she’s not even pretending she’s not conning Shawn (when she was telling her friend what she liked about him, it was basically “he gives me money”) but Shawn is just so pathetic.

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

To be fair, she could just be having trouble remembering her lines.

Or be nervous about being on TV. She’s just a kid.

[Gobi]

I have to think that Sharp dissuaded Shawn from reporting his credit card and/or car as stolen/missing. Sharp knows exactly where Denistry is and what she’s doing. If Shawn reports this, Sharp could be deemed complicit in the commission of a felony (and so could her sister, for that matter). In other words, this is all scripted.

[1011101010001]

23 dollars for one large cheese pizza.

[ErikaAlyson]

Puppy is a real criminal lol. She talks about conning Vince so casually. I'm glad Vince stood up for himself. I know everyone hates Andrea on here but it was very self aware of her to admit she shouldn't be arguing with Lamar in front of their kids in her TH. Destinie is evil and psycho. Shawn must be a masochist to love her. Malcolm should move on. Sarah is still into Michael. He's only wasting his time. Shavel's new guy was cute. Good seeing her enjoying a good guy and having fun.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Someone needs to explain to Amber and Puppy that they don't have to commit the same crime to go back to jail. Scamming someone, fraud or a bit of extortion will also send them back.  These people are idiots.  Let me show off what a criminal mastermind I am on TV! 

[1011101010001]

24 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Someone needs to explain to Amber and Puppy that they don't have to commit the same crime to go back to jail. Scamming someone, fraud or a bit of extortion will also send them back.  These people are idiots.  Let me show off what a criminal mastermind I am on TV! 

Is it only Amber’s mom who has the no-alcohol-on-parole restriction?  Because both Amber and Puppy were talking about having shots in the car.  Not to mention in most states open liquor is supposed to be in the trunk not the cabin.

[Hgirllooking]

Next time that Michael is watching kids and they want gummy treats, he can just head on over to Shavel’s.
(Good Lord, her smile. 😳)

[Hgirllooking]

Shavel’s dress at dinner is pretty. But, if you know that you have back fat, skip the see through lace!

Edited December 19, 2020 by Hgirllooking
Forgot words.

[ErikaAlyson]

Amber is so funny built. Especially in her THs. I see just a head and a lot of torso. Puppy must be using her.

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Someone needs to explain to Amber and Puppy that they don't have to commit the same crime to go back to jail. Scamming someone, fraud or a bit of extortion will also send them back.  These people are idiots.  Let me show off what a criminal mastermind I am on TV! 

I still haven't figured out why "adopting" an adult gets Vince any extra pay from the military.  

[1011101010001]

Maybe Puppy’s IQ is low enough that she would be classified as a dependent despite her age.

[dsteele]

49 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I still haven't figured out why "adopting" an adult gets Vince any extra pay from the military. 

It's complicated and also depends to some degree upon which branch of the service you're in. I can't remember for sure which unfortunate branch had to claim Vince.

But in most cases you can adopt a child and claim them as a dependent if certain conditions are met. Some of those are based on age, percentage of support, and whether the dependent is in an institution of higher learning, for example. Puppy was definitely in an institution but I'm not sure it qualifies as higher learning. 

I'm guessing that Vince just heard about the increase in Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) that all service members get when you have a dependent(s) and figured if he just adopted Puppy they'd give him an extra $500 per month. The trick would be either making sure Puppy met all the criteria (not likely) or he'd just make up the details. I doubt the folks in the payroll department would just take his word for it. Although with him being in a super-secret-can't-tell-you-what-I-really-do type of job, who knows?

Anyway, for the morbidly curious, here's a little more info about how dependency is determined.

https://www.dfas.mil/militarymembers/SecondaryDependency/SDC/

[Empress1]

59 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I still haven't figured out why "adopting" an adult gets Vince any extra pay from the military.  

I assume because she would be his dependent, but I don’t understand why you can adopt an adult in the first place. I read a novel in which this happened (it was actually not a huge plot point) and I didn’t understand that either - if you want someone who isn’t related to you to inherit your stuff, do your estate planning that way. (The person in the novel had no parents, but he was very much an adult. It wasn’t an insurance thing either; he was wealthy by then, as were the people who adopted him - his mentor and mentor’s wife.) I particularly don’t understand why Puppy’s actual mother knew nothing about this - wouldn’t she need to be involved? 

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

I assume because she would be his dependent, but I don’t understand why you can adopt an adult in the first place. I read a novel in which this happened (it was actually not a huge plot point) and I didn’t understand that either - if you want someone who isn’t related to you to inherit your stuff, do your estate planning that way. (The person in the novel had no parents, but he was very much an adult. It wasn’t an insurance thing either; he was wealthy by then, as were the people who adopted him - his mentor and mentor’s wife.) I particularly don’t understand why Puppy’s actual mother knew nothing about this - wouldn’t she need to be involved? 

Sometimes someone wants their stepparent to adopt them and that might not happen until they are an adult.  But I think it’s rare.  

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, dsteele said:

It's complicated and also depends to some degree upon which branch of the service you're in. I can't remember for sure which unfortunate branch had to claim Vince.

Vince is/was in the Air Force.  But I still can't figure out how someone (his adopted "child") who is OBVIOUSLY over the age of 26 would qualify him for any additional money.  

Hopefully, someone who works in the federal government military payment area watches the show and he gets dinged for what sure looks like fraud.  

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, ErikaLovesNihad said:

Puppy is a real criminal lol. She talks about conning Vince so casually. I'm glad Vince stood up for himself. I know everyone hates Andrea on here but it was very self aware of her to admit she shouldn't be arguing with Lamar in front of their kids in her TH. Destinie is evil and psycho. Shawn must be a masochist to love her. Malcolm should move on. Sarah is still into Michael. He's only wasting his time. Shavel's new guy was cute. Good seeing her enjoying a good guy and having fun.

Haven't you heard, Malcolm has moved on and fell in love with someone named Sora

3 hours ago, Hgirllooking said:

Shavel’s dress at dinner is pretty. But, if you know that you have back fat, skip the see through lace!

I couldn't make out much detail beyond the rolls of back fat. 

That dress was for a girl 10 years younger and 30 pounds lighter.  

2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I still haven't figured out why "adopting" an adult gets Vince any extra pay from the military.  

Vince is a halfwit at best.  

I think Vince just heard thst a dependent gets you more money.  He never asked any logical questions and neither did the brain trust of puppy and amber.  

I think the real reason why Vince didn't go through with it was because someone explained to him, very very slowly and more than once im sure, that he would not be getting any additional money and even trying to do so could get him into trouble.

I think that's why he was so short with them.  

[RealReality]

7 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

To be fair, she could just be having trouble remembering her lines.

This is fair.  But a reason not to have young children on the show.  Sometimes it just pains me when she talks.  

[Empress1]

10 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Sometimes someone wants their stepparent to adopt them and that might not happen until they are an adult.  But I think it’s rare.  

That, I can understand, if the child has a biological parent who doesn't relinquish their rights. You'd have to wait until the child was 18+ for the bio parent's rights to no longer matter.

The interesting thing to me is that they're doing all this for $500 a month - $250 a month since Puppy and Amber would have to split it. This strikes me as a lot of work for a little reward. Puppy's trying to keep Vince on the hook ... like, I would bet Puppy can find another way to make $250 a month.

[RealReality]

12 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

That, I can understand, if the child has a biological parent who doesn't relinquish their rights. You'd have to wait until the child was 18+ for the bio parent's rights to no longer matter.

The interesting thing to me is that they're doing all this for $500 a month - $250 a month since Puppy and Amber would have to split it. This strikes me as a lot of work for a little reward. Puppy's trying to keep Vince on the hook ... like, I would bet Puppy can find another way to make $250 a month.

Its true but she seemed upset by the "principal" that Vince would make money off her and not give her some.  Even though she would do zero  work for it.  

This is why I think someone like puppy is headed right back.  She has not even been out a week and she isn't bothered that the "plan" is probably illegal and fraudulent, she just wants money the easiest way she can get it and doesn't seem to think working has to be a part of that.  

After Vince told her to fly a kite she looked very angry.  

She is more worried about getting Vince back and getting some illegal fraud money than she is about finding a job.  And amber seems easily pulled in.  The best thing for amber is for puppy and her mother to go back to jail.  

[1011101010001]

Puppy bragged about drinking hand sanitizer.  I read an article about how a whole bunch of people died from that.

[Empress1]

25 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Puppy bragged about drinking hand sanitizer.  I read an article about how a whole bunch of people died from that.

I saw an episode of Intervention where a woman who was a serious, serious alcoholic (one of those subjects of that show where you think "I'm shocked she's still alive") drank hand sanitizer when she couldn't get vodka (and she bought her vodka in gallon jugs). It makes sense - hand sanitizer has a lot of alcohol in it (I just pulled out the little bottle I keep in my bag and it's 72%). I'm actually kind of surprised they give it to prisoners because of the high alcohol content.

[linthia]

I think Sharp got the Shawn/Destinie storyline directly from the lyrics to Sunspot Baby by Bob Seger.

[Pepper Mostly]

2 hours ago, Empress1 said:

The interesting thing to me is that they're doing all this for $500 a month - $250 a month since Puppy and Amber would have to split it. This strikes me as a lot of work for a little reward. Puppy's trying to keep Vince on the hook ... like, I would bet Puppy can find another way to make $250 a month.

Right? I was just coming here to say that very thing. Its not much of a con, and seems to require a fair bit of energy. Go get a damn job, less work, more reward. 

[1011101010001]

52 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Right? I was just coming here to say that very thing. Its not much of a con, and seems to require a fair bit of energy. Go get a damn job, less work, more reward. 

Maybe they thought that it was was going to go through while they were still in prison.  That would be a lot of money for Ding Dongs at the commissary.

[Jeanne222]

What are Prison Pies Puppy was making and selling?

Andrea just can't represent the Mormon community!  Son afraid to leave his little sister with jailbait dad and Mormon mom fighting all the time to go on his mission!I

It's surprising son and daughter are such nice kids!  How'd that happen?

Can you swim in a pool at a home you don't own because you're a realtor?

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

Can you swim in a pool at a home you don't own because you're a realtor?

Lord knows what else she and Lamar do in those houses if she would fuck in a prison broom closet and get frisky in a car wash.

[dsteele]

15 hours ago, AZChristian said:

But I still can't figure out how someone (his adopted "child") who is OBVIOUSLY over the age of 26 would qualify him for any additional money. 

Because age isn't always a limiting  factor. You can even claim one of your parents as a dependent under the right circumstances.

 

15 hours ago, Empress1 said:

This strikes me as a lot of work for a little reward.

Exactly. And if the Air Force found out about it and declared it as fraud then Vince would be a in a whole lot of trouble.

[sempervivum]

Re. Vince's alleged adoption scam: This gossip site What's Up with Vince and Amber posted more than a year ago that  1) Amber was still married to some guy named Tony as of September, 2019 and 2 ) Vince had left the Air Force prior to September, 2019.

So not only is it unlikely that Vince could adopt a woman who was already married (to someone else), but he isn't even in the service; and since he would have been only been in his early 30's when he left the Air Force, it seems unlikely that he could have accrued retirement benefits (like extra $ for 'adopted children').

Also, if he had attempted to do something illegal to the USAF, I'm pretty sure somebody would have seen this show and reported it. He's been arrested several times since his season ended, but not for defrauding the government.

[AZChristian]

45 minutes ago, sempervivum said:

Also, if he had attempted to do something illegal to the USAF, I'm pretty sure somebody would have seen this show and reported it. He's been arrested several times since his season ended, but not for defrauding the government.

Yet.

[RealReality]

17 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I saw an episode of Intervention where a woman who was a serious, serious alcoholic (one of those subjects of that show where you think "I'm shocked she's still alive") drank hand sanitizer when she couldn't get vodka (and she bought her vodka in gallon jugs). It makes sense - hand sanitizer has a lot of alcohol in it (I just pulled out the little bottle I keep in my bag and it's 72%). I'm actually kind of surprised they give it to prisoners because of the high alcohol content.

Kitty Dukakis drank nail polish remover IIRC.  I never even made the hand sanitizer connection until articles started popping up about making your own from vodka because no one could find purell

Of course people are stuck together all day so you probably can't find much vodka either. 

[1011101010001]

Maybe Vince is getting some sort of disability payments for something that happened while he was enlisted.

[bichonblitz]

19 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Sometimes someone wants their stepparent to adopt them and that might not happen until they are an adult.  But I think it’s rare.  

Yeah but Vince is not the stepparent. I don't get it, either. Unless the whole idea is some made up phony BS just to have a story line. Anyway, Team Vince for hanging up on their asses! Puppy and Amber's mom are the worst. They don't know how to live a normal life in the real lawful world. Back to their scamming ways the minute they are released from prison. Poor Amber trying to stay a productive member of society with these two in her life! 

Are we supposed to care about Shavel's dating life? She reminds me of mushmouth Michaels ex, Megan. 

Same thing with Sara. Who cares? I'm so sick of watching her yell at Michael when all she has to do is not answer his calls. What's he gonna do, sue her for custody? With a prison record, no job and owing back child support? 

[RealReality]

3 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Maybe Vince is getting some sort of disability payments for something that happened while he was enlisted.

This was my thought.  His story was always a little muddled.  But I could see there being some sort of..neurological issue.  Personality problem....or maybe he did something and in order to keep him from making a stink he got a medical discharge.  

He is a halfwit who is convinced he is a wit and a half.  There can be no one more dangerous. 

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, sempervivum said:

Re. Vince's alleged adoption scam: This gossip site What's Up with Vince and Amber posted more than a year ago that  1) Amber was still married to some guy named Tony as of September, 2019 and 2 ) Vince had left the Air Force prior to September, 2019.

So not only is it unlikely that Vince could adopt a woman who was already married (to someone else),

The adoption scam involved him adopting Puppy, not Amber.