Love On The Spectrum - General Discussion

[greekmom]

A 5 episode documentary series following young adults on the autism spectrum as they explore the unpredictable world of love, dating and relationships.

[Corgi-ears]

I watched all the eps in a row and my heart burst and now I ded.

[greekmom]

I loved this so much.  It wasn't scripted and very real.  

My favourite participates had to be Mark, Michael and Andrew who I hope they all find someone to love.  They all (and I do mean ALL) of the participates seemed to be able to have lots to give to a partner.

Jimmy and Sharnae were my favourite couple hands down. Especially how gitty they were on the trip with the hotel room, the issue with the socks and how Sharnae was like ok let's get you some navy socks. The proposal, everything!

The one that got on my nerves a bit was Olivia.  Her attitude on how she's an actress and how she acted on the dates (really burping on all 3 dates!) did grate on my nerves.

They are lucky they have such groups to be able to do some social interaction, speed dating, and the relationship coach Jodi.  

[zoltana]

22 hours ago, Corgi-ears said:

I watched all the eps in a row and my heart burst and now I ded.

Yes!  Through the whole thing my heart just kept melting at how sweet everyone was.

 

[GoldaVining]

Until Love on the Spectrum, Please Like Me was my favourite show ever on Netflix. Now they are tied for the top. What a grrrrrrrreat show! Love on the Spectrum made me so happy 🥰

A few of the Love on the Spectrum cast members are heaps and piles more watchable (and interesting) than some of the best actors or personalities in the business. I would absolutely watch a show just about Maddi or Michael. Maddi is super cool and quirky and naturally funny. And the way Michael expresses himself is thoughtful and funny and unique. I want to hear what Maddi and Michael think about things. So many of the loudest or most retweeted or amplified voices are not the ones I want to hear; I want to hear more from Michael or Maddi. I hope we get a second season. A couple of them (Kelvin, Andrew) stressed me out a little bit, because they seemed stressed I guess.

The Detectorists is my favourite show on Amazon Prime, not that anybody is asking.

Edited July 28, 2020 by GoldaVining
clarity

[Mrs. Hanson]

Okay, I watched all five in a row and I must preface that I am a special education teacher who is the Autism Consult for her building.  So, yes, I may have seen this through a different lens.

This show brought so much joy!  Maddi, Mark and Michael:  DO NOT CHANGE.  You are awesome.

Olivia:  Stop it.  Stop the burping, stop the farting and no, your sweet date was NOT making fun of your disability.  You guys were dancing and he was attempting to pick up on a social cue.  And PLEASE stop the dialogue of "there are no tests for females."  I have tested many many children and they are for everyone.  

Jimmy and Sharnae:  Sorry, but Sharnae, to me, was not autistic.  Socially odd, sure, but she was too social, too aware of things to be autistic.  It is over diagnosed (trust me, I have two sets of parents right now who think their kids are autistic and I am like, no......they are NOT.)

I knew Kelvin was WAY too rigid to be successful on a date.  He needs more coaching, and that is fine!  Same with Andrew.

Michael.....how much love did I have when he met Dawn Wells?  I knew his formal sit down date was going to go haywire  - you could see it in her eyes that she was overwhelmed.

Mark - not everyone wants a Master Class on dinosaurs.

The parents were so supportive and sweet.

[Melina22]

13 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Jimmy and Sharnae:  Sorry, but Sharnae, to me, was not autistic.  Socially odd, sure, but she was too social, too aware of things to be autistic.  It is over diagnosed (trust me, I have two sets of parents right now who think their kids are autistic and I am like, no......they are NOT.)

It's so interesting to hear the thoughts of someone who's trained in this area. 

I loved Jimmy and Sharnae as a couple, but you're right. She was incredibly supportive of him, and very alert to his moods and quick to talk him through his meltdowns. I thought she was lovely, but also extremely social, observant and functional. I did wonder about her diagnosis. I'm not in a position to judge either way, but if this is your professional opinion, I can see why you would say this. 

19 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Olivia:  Stop it.  Stop the burping, stop the farting and no, your sweet date was NOT making fun of your disability.  You guys were dancing and he was attempting to pick up on a social cue. 

Olivia was an interesting one. Extremely smart and also at times very humorous. Clearly a partner for her would have to be on a similar intellectual level. But then most dates would probably object to the behaviour you described, as well as the hysterical giggling and jumping. But again, as a non-expert I couldn't tell if these behaviours were voluntary, bad habits or completely out of her control. I can see how they could rub many people the wrong way. 

I'm sad none of them found a match, even though I understand why. I'm hoping at least one or two of them do in the future. Or at least, some really good friends. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

53 minutes ago, Melina22 said:

It's so interesting to hear the thoughts of someone who's trained in this area. 

I loved Jimmy and Sharnae as a couple, but you're right. She was incredibly supportive of him, and very alert to his moods and quick to talk him through his meltdowns. I thought she was lovely, but also extremely social, observant and functional. I did wonder about her diagnosis. I'm not in a position to judge either way, but if this is your professional opinion, I can see why you would say this. 

Olivia was an interesting one. Extremely smart and also at times very humorous. Clearly a partner for her would have to be on a similar intellectual level. But then most dates would probably object to the behaviour you described, as well as the hysterical giggling and jumping. But again, as a non-expert I couldn't tell if these behaviours were voluntary, bad habits or completely out of her control. I can see how they could rub many people the wrong way. 

I'm sad none of them found a match, even though I understand why. I'm hoping at least one or two of them do in the future. Or at least, some really good friends. 

Thank you for your thoughts.  I think these fine folks would have more success if they double dated with neurotypical friends.  It would help to be a buffer when times get tight.  I knew the young lady on the formal date was going to cave, and she did.  I see this on the daily at school (when we had school, lol!)

ASD is, to me, very overdiagnosed.  I have two kids on my caseload who got a diagnosis from a center here that is known for slapping everyone with a diagnosis.  It is harmful as one child has severe behavior/emotional issues and to focus on non existant ASD takes the focus off his very real issues.

I think with Olivia, her jumping/dancing is mainly what we call stimming, but she is very aware of it.  She flipped SO quickly to "You are making fun of my disability" when he was just trying to be nice.  She was a bit of an attention queen, good thing she is in a theater group, lol!!

I will take it further with Sharnae/Jimmy:  It felt a little unseemly to me as it felt, to me, that she was taking advantage of him as he is clearly in the middle of the spectrum.  But hey they are adults, right?

Andrew......you sweet man!!   "Am I making you uncomfortable with my directions?"

The young lady who said she loved penguins because they walk like her......LOVE HER!

And people, I LOVE my ASD kiddos.  They, and the EBD kids are MY PEEPS!  (EBD is Emotional Behavior Disorder.)

I have heard everything that kids perseverate on:  tuxedos, shoes, socks, the Titanic, China, Ford Trucks (not Chevy).....heard it all!!!

[Melina22]

33 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Thank you for your thoughts.  I think these fine folks would have more success if they double dated with neurotypical friends.  It would help to be a buffer when times get tight.  I knew the young lady on the formal date was going to cave, and she did.  I see this on the daily at school (when we had school, lol!)

I discussed this episode with my daughter who is a PSW, caring for a young man with autism. Michael reminded us of him SO MUCH. 

We both agreed that going to dinner with a blind date had to be 10/10 on the stress and awkwardness scale for people without autism! It seemed unfair to expect 2 people on the spectrum to manage this alone, plus the added stress of cameras. I think a group activity would be a far better way for them to meet possible partners. I liked your suggestion too. 

33 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I will take it further with Sharnae/Jimmy:  It felt a little unseemly to me as it felt, to me, that she was taking advantage of him as he is clearly in the middle of the spectrum.  But hey they are adults, right?

Have you heard that comedian Amy Schumer is married to a man on the spectrum? I watched her series and they seemed very happy. I thought of them when I saw how compatible Sharnae and Jimmy seemed. I noticed how despite how much she helps him, other times you see him explaining things to her that she doesn't understand. I feel like if I were Jimmy's mother I'd be happy with their relationship. Then again, we only saw a shallow overview of both of them. 

I enjoyed how respectful the show was of the participants, but did wonder if some of them maybe had other issues, like fits of anger, that weren't shown. I say this based on knowing my daughter's client. He can be so sweet but also volatile. I'm glad the show didn't show this, because it would intrude on their privacy and dignity, but I did wonder if unseen factors like this led to their being alone. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

4 hours ago, Melina22 said:

I discussed this episode with my daughter who is a PSW, caring for a young man with autism. Michael reminded us of him SO MUCH. 

We both agreed that going to dinner with a blind date had to be 10/10 on the stress and awkwardness scale for people without autism! It seemed unfair to expect 2 people on the spectrum to manage this alone, plus the added stress of cameras. I think a group activity would be a far better way for them to meet possible partners. I liked your suggestion too. 

Have you heard that comedian Amy Schumer is married to a man on the spectrum? I watched her series and they seemed very happy. I thought of them when I saw how compatible Sharnae and Jimmy seemed. I noticed how despite how much she helps him, other times you see him explaining things to her that she doesn't understand. I feel like if I were Jimmy's mother I'd be happy with their relationship. Then again, we only saw a shallow overview of both of them. 

I enjoyed how respectful the show was of the participants, but did wonder if some of them maybe had other issues, like fits of anger, that weren't shown. I say this based on knowing my daughter's client. He can be so sweet but also volatile. I'm glad the show didn't show this, because it would intrude on their privacy and dignity, but I did wonder if unseen factors like this led to their being alone. 

Yes I saw that Amy Schumers hubby is and on the spectrum, and I watched their cooking show and he is uber high functioning.  Jimmy is not.  Jimmy lost it when extra people were in the pub, let alone the navy docks incident.  I am happy for Sharnae and Jimmy, it was just....odd that she would choose a (in my opinion) a vulnerable adult.  

I want Michael to be my neighbor!!!

[Melina22]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Yes I saw that Amy Schumers hubby is and on the spectrum, and I watched their cooking show and he is uber high functioning. 

That's for sure. Deciding who is and isn't on the spectrum must be incredibly complex and at times controversial. For example I know a man well who I can totally picture having the issues with strangers that Jimmy had, or a meltdown over the wrong socks, yet he's considered to just be very shy and introverted with bad social anxiety. Otherwise he functions fairly well. I don't want to sidetrack the thread into a discussion of the autism spectrum but I can see it's a complicated, interesting area of medicine. I'll have to do more reading. 

In other news, my daughter, after thinking about it for a couple of days, showed her client (the one who is so much like Michael) the first episode of the series and he LOVED it. They're watching one episode per day. She felt comfortable doing it because of the show's sensitive and non-exploitive treatment of people on the spectrum. I know he'll tell her if he wants to stop watching. 

[configdotsys]

Found this show early today and watched every episode.

Loved, loved, loved Ruth and Thomas!

I was so happy to see Michael meet Dawn Wells! Andrew is adorable. There was something about Kelvin that I just loved. He really wants to find someone and it will take a bit of work to get him ready. I agree with others that Sharnae was not on the spectrum but her reaction to his proposal was just awesome.

I want more episodes!

 

[Corgi-ears]

On 8/5/2020 at 8:33 AM, configdotsys said:

There was something about Kelvin that I just loved.

For me, it was his declaration that he wants to find someone who smells like orange juice. I hope somewhere out there is a girl named Tropicana, waiting for him.

Edited August 6, 2020 by Corgi-ears

[Kayz Opinion]

On 8/4/2020 at 5:33 PM, configdotsys said:

I agree with others that Sharnae was not on the spectrum but her reaction to his proposal was just awesome.

Remember that word, "spectrum."  It covers so much.

[Kayz Opinion]

On 7/26/2020 at 11:06 AM, greekmom said:

The one that got on my nerves a bit was Olivia.  Her attitude on how she's an actress and how she acted on the dates (really burping on all 3 dates!) did grate on my nerves.

Olivia IS AN ACTRESS!    I think the reason this series was produced was to introduce viewers to the various loves, lives, and problems of those on the spectrum and their families.  Olivia is just one of these people. I found her innocence and enthusiasm enjoyable.  In her mind she IS an actress; she learns her lines; she helps the group; she performs. To those who volunteer to make this group work, she IS an actress. She's probably featured in their ads and their posters.  Those who go to see the shows (mostly friends and family) are PROUD  their sons and daughters can do something that "neurotypicals" do--things that excluded/eluded them for years.  I hope you're introduced to more human beings like Olivia and focus on their positive points.

The reason Olivia is encouraged to go on dates is that she doesn't know how to behave in all situations.  The more she tries, the better she will get--BUT REMEMBER, she has some disabilities, so she's not going to behave the way you'd prefer.

Your words "grate on my nerves" gave me pause.   😟😟  

P.S.  Her "burping" may have been caused by nerves...OR the producers enjoyed that she could burp on clue and encouraged her.  Maybe I just miss those incredible burps of my boys and their crazy friends back when they were 12-13.

Edited August 8, 2020 by Kayz Opinion

[Kayz Opinion]

On 7/31/2020 at 8:38 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

  I am happy for Sharnae and Jimmy, it was just....odd that she would choose a (in my opinion) a vulnerable adult.  

You don't consider that she's also "a vunerable adult"?  The relationship looks like the perfect (for now) give and take.

[Kayz Opinion]

On 7/27/2020 at 11:16 PM, GoldaVining said:

The Detectorists is my favourite show on Amazon Prime, not that anybody is asking.

There are so many shows that I can't select a favorite...but my adult son and I LOVE the Dectorists!  Here's a quote from Toby Jones, April 2019.   Asked whether he would consider reprising the role for a fourth series or TV film, Jones said: “It’d be hard to resist. It’s a huge pleasure, that show. There’s nothing unpleasurable about it – you walk to work in the countryside.”

[Kayz Opinion]

On 7/31/2020 at 1:34 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

Olivia:  Stop it.  Stop the burping, stop the farting and no, your sweet date was NOT making fun of your disability.  You guys were dancing and he was attempting to pick up on a social cue.  And PLEASE stop the dialogue of "there are no tests for females."  I have tested many many children and they are for everyone.  

You do know Olivia has a disability, right?  I have no teaching credentials--I'm definitely not an "Autism Consult," but I can recognize her shortcomings and give her a break.  We're watching a show about people "on the spectrum," and we can't expect them to act like kids/people we know. 

As for your testing experiences, Olivia's is NOT in the United States. She's in New South Wales, Australia, where this is published: The ongoing systemic failure to identify and diagnose autistic girls and women results from a lack of recognition and understanding across sectors of the differences in how autism presents in girls and women compared to boys and men, as well as historic gender biases in autism screening and diagnostic tools.

Perhaps Olivia was describing her experiences (and her parents') with testing in her country--in basic terms rather than starting a dialogue about autism and "gender biases."

On 7/31/2020 at 1:34 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

Jimmy and Sharnae:  Sorry, but Sharnae, to me, was not autistic.  Socially odd, sure, but she was too social, too aware of things to be autistic.  It is over diagnosed...

I'm stunned that as a  special-education professional you would make such a comment about Sharnae without clarification.  She was shown for a few minutes on a television show.  You truly believe that austic people are not "aware of things" ? There's a reason the word "spectrum" is used by professionals.  

ALL BOLDING IS MINE.

 

[madpsych78]

I'm a school psychologist and I work in a pediatric neuropsychology private practice. I have a lot of experience diagnosing ASD and have worked with a lot of psychologists who have conducted evaluations and implemented interventions with individuals with ASD. Please note that the most difficult ASD evaluations are for those who are considered "high functioning," as defined as at least an average or above average IQ and verbal ability. Even two professionals with similar amounts of experience in diagnosing ASD may vary in their diagnostic impressions. 

(In contrast, individuals regarded as "low functioning" - i.e., nonverbal or very limited verbally, exhibits more stereotypical behaviors, difficult to get a good read of intellectual ability, etc. - are generally easier to evaluate and diagnose)

Furthermore, individuals who are not truly autistic may be diagnosed with autism in order to gain access to Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapy services, which are only covered by insurance if the individual has a diagnosis of autism, even though principles of ABA may be helpful with other populations besides ASD. Therefore, I believe Mrs. Hanson is correct in that autism can be over-diagnosed and this is one of the reasons why. 

I would classify all of the main players on this show as autistic, and all as high functioning, although some exhibited more symptoms of autism to a greater degree than others. Even though we only saw each of them for a few minutes across several episodes, I think this assertion is fair. 

For example, I felt that Kelvin was one who tended to exhibit more symptoms of ASD among the main characters. I also thought that the guy who Maddi talked to outside at that social outing was one who exhibited a lot of ASD symptoms, even though we just saw him for a few minutes. In fact, I wasn't sure that he would be considered high functioning.

The ones who exhibited a fewer degree of symptoms of ASD tended to be several of the girls such as Maddi and Sharnae. I don't know if I would be quick to classify her as not autistic based on seeing her for only a few minutes on a TV show about individuals with ASD, but she did appear to present as the mildest. It is important to consider that we do not know what her history is and what interventions have been in place for her to get her to this point. 

Also, Sharnae is a girl, which can factor into how she presents herself. Olivia is kinda, sorta right, but not completely. I think she was trying to make the point that girls with ASD are different in many respects compared to boys with ASD, which affects testing, but the same tests used to evaluate boys with ASD can be used on girls with ASD, so on that exact point Olivia is incorrect. The problem is that there needs to be better developed norms separated by gender, rather than combined. Girls with ASD are relatively more socially aware than their male counterparts and may often present with milder symptoms. I think that was what we were seeing here with many of the female players. And I bet that where the young adults fall on the spectrum can influence dating and compatibility as well, in addition to having common interests.

[Kayz Opinion]

15 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Olivia is kinda, sorta right, but not completely. I think she was trying to make the point that girls with ASD are different in many respects compared to boys with ASD, which affects testing, but the same tests used to evaluate boys with ASD can be used on girls with ASD, so on that exact point Olivia is incorrect.

And we can't forget.  Olivia is not a psychological/medical/testing professional.  She gave her her best opinion on what she had learned in her years of testing and treatment experience.  The same tests ARE used, but are the results questionable?

[Ilovepie]

On 7/31/2020 at 1:34 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

Michael.....how much love did I have when he met Dawn Wells? 

Oh my heart - that was awesome! And she was so kind - I always knew Mary Ann was the best!

On 7/31/2020 at 3:42 PM, Melina22 said:

I discussed this episode with my daughter who is a PSW, caring for a young man with autism. Michael reminded us of him SO MUCH. 

We both agreed that going to dinner with a blind date had to be 10/10 on the stress and awkwardness scale for people without autism! It seemed unfair to expect 2 people on the spectrum to manage this alone, plus the added stress of cameras.

Me too! I would have been super nervous doing that and I am not on the spectrum! I felt so bad for both of them, but I am glad they went to the Comic Con.

Michael was delightful. I loved watching his face at the speed dating - looking so bored when the girl was going on about her business, and then lighting up when he talked to someone with a common interest.

I wondered if the participants were coached to ask what are your hobbies/interests? Because these people seem to navigate the initial conversations with a stranger better than some neurotypicals I know, especially some teens who are used to looking at a phone and just texting....... I think everyone would benefit from learning how to talk to people better!

[Kayz Opinion]

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I wondered if the participants were coached to ask what are your hobbies/interests?

There's usually "coaching" at these events...whether spectrum-related or not.  Some even provide several small cards (business-card size or smaller) with hints on questions and answers.

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, Kayz Opinion said:

There's usually "coaching" at these events...whether spectrum-related or not.  Some even provide several small cards (business-card size or smaller) with hints on questions and answers.

Aha! I was married looong before speed dating was a thing. Thanks for the information! 😋

[Brookside]

PSW?

 

[Melina22]

Personal Support Worker 

[Kayz Opinion]

12 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Aha! I was married looong before speed dating was a thing. Thanks for the information! 😋

Me too...but I was recycled in the 80s...and I watch 2muchTV.

[Blakeston]

I had a very mixed reaction to this series.

On one hand, I'm really glad that there's representation of actual people on the spectrum, and not actors playing them. I think it was made with very good intentions, and it appears that the makers of the show did a good job making the participants feel comfortable.

But on the other hand, it felt very anticlimactic to me, because I was hoping that some of the single people who were profiled would actually find successful relationships, and that didn't appear to be the case. And I'm not sure why they introduced Sharnae and Jimmy so late in the game - their storyline felt so rushed. It sometimes felt like the series was thrown together after filming.

Also, there were many times that I found the series painful to watch, just because there were so many awkward dates and rejections. I often felt like I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, cringe-wise.

As for the participants:

- I liked Olivia for the most part, but I found her to be a huge hypocrite. When she mentioned the theater group to the first date, she said, "They would never let you in," or something to that effect. And this was right around the time she lectured the guy about how not all disabilities are visible! Where did she get off assuming that he doesn't have one? She seemed like someone who expects everyone to telepathically understand her needs, but doesn't stop to think about anyone else's needs.

And I think it's fair to point out that her repeated assertions that "there are no tests/criteria for girls" are just not true. She seems perfectly capable of understanding logic and the meaning of words, so I hope she finds a better way to express her frustrations. It's absolutely true that ASD is underdiagnosed in girls, and that girls tend to be diagnosed later, but she went way overboard.

- Andrew was a sweetheart, and he surprised me with how attuned he was to the needs of his dates. Did they ever say if he has a job? That was something I was wondering about a lot of the participants.

I also thought Jodi was a bit harsh to effectively tell him that his first date didn't consider him to be boyfriend material. That may very well have been what she meant, but she may also have been honest when she said that she had personal issues that prevented her from dating anytime soon. Most likely a combination of the two.

- I really liked the second guy Olivia dated - the one she suggested was making fun of her disability. I really would have liked to see more of him. He seemed very capable of being in a successful relationship with the right person.

[Kayz Opinion]

3 hours ago, Blakeston said:

As for the participants:

- I liked Olivia for the most part, but I found her to be a huge hypocrite

A bit harsh.  I doubt if she would even understand if you told Olivia to her face that she's hypocritical.  So many people "on the spectrum" blurt out whatever they're thinking.  Many won't ever learn to sugar-coat things, so they will be considered brutally honest or "hypocrites" unless more and more is presented to us.   We weren't watching a series on the people we work and live with every day.   

 

3 hours ago, Blakeston said:

She seemed like someone who expects everyone to telepathically understand her needs, but doesn't stop to think about anyone else's needs.

Exactly--she can't.   Perhaps there needs to be another season or two so "neurotypicals" can figure out that many people on the spectrum OFTEN can't stop to think about anyone's needs but their own.  It would be helpful to have critical comments like these presented to the parents of all those featured on the series.  Let's hear how they can help everyone understand.

[Blakeston]

3 hours ago, Kayz Opinion said:

A bit harsh.  I doubt if she would even understand if you told Olivia to her face that she's hypocritical.  So many people "on the spectrum" blurt out whatever they're thinking.  Many won't ever learn to sugar-coat things, so they will be considered brutally honest or "hypocrites" unless more and more is presented to us.   We weren't watching a series on the people we work and live with every day.   

 

Exactly--she can't.   Perhaps there needs to be another season or two so "neurotypicals" can figure out that many people on the spectrum OFTEN can't stop to think about anyone's needs but their own.  It would be helpful to have critical comments like these presented to the parents of all those featured on the series.  Let's hear how they can help everyone understand.

We saw many of the participants in this series show concerns for other people's needs. Andrew constantly assessed how his actions made his dates feel. Sharnae and Jimmy were all about each others' needs. I don't see any reason to think Olivia is less capable than the other participants.

Edited August 12, 2020 by Blakeston

[Kayz Opinion]

18 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I don't see any reason to think Olivia is less capable than the other participants.

I understand that, and it's frustrating.  The word is "spectrum."  No two people will have the same abilities, talents, life experiences, good/bad teachers, good/bad parents, problems, issues.  It's not to say that Olivia is "less capable," she is just different.  Her brain isn't wired like Sharnae's (whom some on this forum feel isn't autistic or "autistic enough" because she reacts in some unmeasured "acceptable" manner).   

I really felt this series did educate many, many viewers as it set out to do...but I'm saddened to see that yardsticks that shouldn't be used in these instances are still presented.  There are MANY reasons to think Olivia is less capable in some areas than other participants.  It's unfair to compare one to another. 

[Blakeston]

15 hours ago, Kayz Opinion said:

I understand that, and it's frustrating.  The word is "spectrum."  No two people will have the same abilities, talents, life experiences, good/bad teachers, good/bad parents, problems, issues.  It's not to say that Olivia is "less capable," she is just different.  Her brain isn't wired like Sharnae's (whom some on this forum feel isn't autistic or "autistic enough" because she reacts in some unmeasured "acceptable" manner).   

I really felt this series did educate many, many viewers as it set out to do...but I'm saddened to see that yardsticks that shouldn't be used in these instances are still presented.  There are MANY reasons to think Olivia is less capable in some areas than other participants.  It's unfair to compare one to another. 

But what makes you think she's mentally incapable of understanding other people's needs?

Even if she doesn't have empathy, that still doesn't excuse her assumption that the first date doesn't have a disability. She said herself that not all disabilities are visible, so she understands that concept.

[libgirl2]

On 7/28/2020 at 1:16 AM, GoldaVining said:

Until Love on the Spectrum, Please Like Me was my favourite show ever on Netflix. Now they are tied for the top. What a grrrrrrrreat show! Love on the Spectrum made me so happy 🥰

A few of the Love on the Spectrum cast members are heaps and piles more watchable (and interesting) than some of the best actors or personalities in the business. I would absolutely watch a show just about Maddi or Michael. Maddi is super cool and quirky and naturally funny. And the way Michael expresses himself is thoughtful and funny and unique. I want to hear what Maddi and Michael think about things. So many of the loudest or most retweeted or amplified voices are not the ones I want to hear; I want to hear more from Michael or Maddi. I hope we get a second season. A couple of them (Kelvin, Andrew) stressed me out a little bit, because they seemed stressed I guess.

The Detectorists is my favourite show on Amazon Prime, not that anybody is asking.

Maddi reminds me of Miranda Hart.

[Snobordnwifey]

On 8/13/2020 at 5:26 PM, Blakeston said:

But what makes you think she's mentally incapable of understanding other people's needs?

Even if she doesn't have empathy, that still doesn't excuse her assumption that the first date doesn't have a disability. She said herself that not all disabilities are visible, so she understands that concept.

As the parent of a 17 year old daughter on the spectrum, I will give you a bit of a explanation.  She has the adhd factor that it appears that Olivia has also.  Impulsivity with speech and body movement.  My daughter can absolutely think of others.  In a setting where you are asking her questions in an interview style, she absolutely could tell you that burping in public might make others uncomfortable or that she shouldn’t make assumptions about other people’s disability status.  In the moment, it is quite a different story.  This is the difference between what one might call pragmatic skills and intellectual skills.  She knows all the right answers, but she struggles to implement them when interacting with others.  Her head is so full of stuff: ideas, thoughts, sensory experiences.  Her mind races a mile a minute, so often times she says things that she shouldn’t or acts in a way that society looks down on.  That said, she is also the most loving, genuine, “I’d give you anything you need” kind of person.  She just can’t always read what someone else needs, especially in the seconds she has in between interactions.  She does much better if people are upfront about what they are thinking or feeling.
 

The other day, she came out of a counseling appointment and she looked really emotional and kind of wigged out.  After a few minutes, she told me “mom, my brain slowed down for the first time ever.  It’s going so slow and it’s really scaring me because it’s so different.”  It was really odd.  I always tell people that life to her is like driving in rush hour traffic in a major city, going the speed limit, but having people slam on brakes all around you, the guy next to you almost moving into you lane and an ambulance with sirens and lights trying to get through, while your kids fight in the back and your toddler screams.  In those overwhelming traffic situations, it’s hard to pay attention to the meaningless things going on around you. You wouldn’t react to them the same way as you normally would because your mind is in hyper-focus mode.  That is what my daughter lives with every day, so to ask her to make judgments on the fly about what others are thinking and feeling and behave accordingly is a tall order.  She does a pretty dang good job of it, but others have no idea how much work it is for her.  A little grace goes a long way.  Also, many autistic people think some of societies rules are silly (I agree to a degree).  It’s just another thing to remember in an already overwhelming world.

[LaLaLaLa]

On 8/29/2020 at 11:32 PM, Snobordnwifey said:

Also, many autistic people think some of societies rules are silly (I agree to a degree).  It’s just another thing to remember in an already overwhelming world.

They're not wrong.

Edited September 15, 2020 by LaLaLaLa

[Blakeston]

On 8/29/2020 at 11:32 PM, Snobordnwifey said:

As the parent of a 17 year old daughter on the spectrum, I will give you a bit of a explanation.  She has the adhd factor that it appears that Olivia has also.  Impulsivity with speech and body movement.  My daughter can absolutely think of others.  In a setting where you are asking her questions in an interview style, she absolutely could tell you that burping in public might make others uncomfortable or that she shouldn’t make assumptions about other people’s disability status.  In the moment, it is quite a different story.  This is the difference between what one might call pragmatic skills and intellectual skills.  She knows all the right answers, but she struggles to implement them when interacting with others.  Her head is so full of stuff: ideas, thoughts, sensory experiences.  Her mind races a mile a minute, so often times she says things that she shouldn’t or acts in a way that society looks down on.  That said, she is also the most loving, genuine, “I’d give you anything you need” kind of person.  She just can’t always read what someone else needs, especially in the seconds she has in between interactions.  She does much better if people are upfront about what they are thinking or feeling.
 

The other day, she came out of a counseling appointment and she looked really emotional and kind of wigged out.  After a few minutes, she told me “mom, my brain slowed down for the first time ever.  It’s going so slow and it’s really scaring me because it’s so different.”  It was really odd.  I always tell people that life to her is like driving in rush hour traffic in a major city, going the speed limit, but having people slam on brakes all around you, the guy next to you almost moving into you lane and an ambulance with sirens and lights trying to get through, while your kids fight in the back and your toddler screams.  In those overwhelming traffic situations, it’s hard to pay attention to the meaningless things going on around you. You wouldn’t react to them the same way as you normally would because your mind is in hyper-focus mode.  That is what my daughter lives with every day, so to ask her to make judgments on the fly about what others are thinking and feeling and behave accordingly is a tall order.  She does a pretty dang good job of it, but others have no idea how much work it is for her.  A little grace goes a long way.  Also, many autistic people think some of societies rules are silly (I agree to a degree).  It’s just another thing to remember in an already overwhelming world.

I think there's a big difference between acknowledging that people on the spectrum (especially those with ADHD) have difficulty with making the right call in social situations, and asserting that they're incapable of considering other people's feelings.

Probably the most harmful stereotype out there about people on the spectrum is that they don't have empathy. And I was responding to a comment that people like Olivia "can't" think about other peoples' needs.

[TrixieTrue]

Like everyone here, I loved the show. And I always liked Dawn Wells, but now I'm a huge fan. 

I did think Kelvin wasn't quite ready for dating, but that group get-togethers, like the bowling event we saw Mark doing would be great for him. I'd also like to know what else he does. He's a talented artist, is writing a graphic novel with Jodie, working on something of his own, and has studied Japanese for three years.  

I liked hearing about Andrew's job and would have liked to hear about the jobs other people were doing. Michael mentioned work and one woman he met had her own business. I know it's a show about dating, but work is something people on dates talk about. 

I was impressed with the humor we saw from several people, including Maddie and Olivia. 

As someone who is perpetually single, dating is hard. But I realize this is an area where I do have a sort of privilege. 

The parents we saw were great and all clearly were positive influences on their kids.  

 

[Corgi-ears]

The second season has started in Australia (three episodes have dropped), so will hopefully be on Netflix eventually.

Spoiler

Michael and Mark are back!

 

[talkofthePeeps]

I enjoy watching Love on the Spectrum I have to get this off my chest. The way Heather treated Michael was appalling on the phone. She is capable of being nice and she wasn't nice in the last conversation with Michael. what are your thought's?

[Allicat]

This thread infuriates me. So much perpetuating of ancient stereotypes. So-called "experts" who believe that a man like Chris Fischer can be on the spectrum (go watch videos of him) but Sharnae is simply not "autistic enough" to warrant the same diagnosis. I am an adult woman with autism and it's honestly baffling that people who work with autistic children refuse to educate themselves on masking and autism traits in girls and women. The ADOS, for example, was created based on autism traits in white boys. Researchers have found that these tests miss autism features in girls. Look at the research done by Bishop Lab at UCSF for example. Professionals working with people on the spectrum should really do a better job of keeping up with research in the field within which they work. Next time you want to tell a girl/woman "she doesn't act autistic enough" consider this: my autism has nothing to do with how easy it is for you to interact with me, but everything to do with how exhausting and difficult it is for me to interact with you.

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 7/15/2021 at 1:01 PM, Allicat said:

autism has nothing to do with how easy it is for you to interact with me, but everything to do with how exhausting and difficult it is for me to interact with you.

I fully support this!  As a special education teacher we teach social skills to kids with autism.  (In Minnesota if ASD is the primary disability, one goal must be a social goal.)  I make it my mission to teach neurotypical kids to interact with non neurotypical kids in social situations.  Does that make sense?  Why are we asking kids with autism to bend all the time?  The general education population can learn to bend, too.

 

On 6/3/2021 at 10:24 AM, Corgi-ears said:

The second season has started in Australia (three episodes have dropped), so will hopefully be on Netflix eventually.

YAY!

Edited August 3, 2021 by Mrs. Hanson

[Kdawg82]

Anyone back yet?? Season 2 is here & I'm like 4 episodes in! Very good.  I don't think these young men & women have let the fame go to their heads so that's good. Some newbies here too. Enjoyable. 

[cpcathy]

I love this show, I’m rooting for Ronan and of course, dinosaur-fan guy.

[EtheltoTillie]

thanks for the heads up.  will start watching again. 

[humbleopinion]

Michael, my favorite from Season 1 continues on his path to romance.

Ronan will steal your heart.

Jayden has edgy charm.

Pity the sound guy had a heck of a time during Teo's segments.

You cross your fingers for Mark and Chloe, both from Season 1.

You will binge because the cast is compelling and you want for them to succeed.

[Wit E. Moniker2]

I absolutely loved and rooted for them all.  I just want them all to find what they’re looking for and be happily ever after. 
 

Ronan and Katie dancing to the street musician just about did my jaded little heart in. Possibly the sweetest, most pure example of joy and human connection I’ve ever witnessed.  ❤️

[humbleopinion]

 The parents of the cast are stellar.

The audience is rooting for them as much as we root for the cast.

We want them to see their sons and daughters find love from good people.

Cian has given us another excellent season with a cast we wish the best.

 

 

[configdotsys]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Michael, my favorite from Season 1 continues on his path to romance.

Ronan will steal your heart.

Jayden has edgy charm.

Pity the sound guy had a heck of a time during Teo's segments.

You cross your fingers for Mark and Chloe, both from Season 1.

You will binge because the cast is compelling and you want for them to succeed.

Just started watching. Am a little way through episode 1 and I heart Ronan. 

You were right. He stole my heart. Oh I am so rooting for him.

Michael is a riot. 

Off to binge...

 

[greekmom]

Just finished it.  Compared to a few last season that I didn't like I enjoyed this cast so much (even Teo with her LOUD voice!)

All of them just stole my heart and give me hope that my kid on the spectrum will find love one day.

Michael: I thought he found a perfect mate. I cannot believe he broke it off with her.

Ditto for Mark and Chloe.  Their Christmas exchange was so sweet. So sad it didn't last.

Jimmy and Sharee's wedding at the end was the best. 

I love the parents.  I hope if there is a 3rd season that we can go into how the parents deal with the kid's autism, the fact they are getting older and wont be there to take care of their autistic children. 

I was super surprised and very pleased Michael was able to drive.  

Please bring Season 3!!!!!

[Kdawg82]

23 hours ago, cpcathy said:

I love this show, I’m rooting for Ronan and of course, dinosaur-fan guy.

Yes! I get lost on the names sometimes and the cast keeps growing.  I ❤ Ronan. I like Domhnall Gleeson and have a soft spot for cute gingers so he's like a spectrum-version of Gleeson. Dinosaur guy was like a heartbreaker. He was so honest and always letting down the girls haha I guess someone told him that ghosting a date is rude and he took it to the other extreme. Better that than the other way.  I like that he was coupled with someone from the show, too. 

I like Michael. I love how you can read his thoughts immediately based on his expression.  His mom is so sweet! She gets such joy out of him. Jayden is my newcomer favorite. He's so interesting.

I'm not too big on Teo. I don't think her next date with the girl will go well (haven't seen yet). Teo is a tad pushy.

[configdotsys]

15 hours ago, greekmom said:

Just finished it.  Compared to a few last season that I didn't like I enjoyed this cast so much (even Teo with her LOUD voice!)

All of them just stole my heart and give me hope that my kid on the spectrum will find love one day.

Michael: I thought he found a perfect mate. I cannot believe he broke it off with her.

Ditto for Mark and Chloe.  Their Christmas exchange was so sweet. So sad it didn't last.

Jimmy and Sharee's wedding at the end was the best. 

I love the parents.  I hope if there is a 3rd season that we can go into how the parents deal with the kid's autism, the fact they are getting older and wont be there to take care of their autistic children. 

I was super surprised and very pleased Michael was able to drive.  

Please bring Season 3!!!!!

I'm not sure when this became available on Netflix in the U.S. but you might want to put a spoiler tag on a particular part of your post. I had just finished watching the episode 3 when they waltzed and Michael said he was falling for her. I wanted to see if anyone else found that as great as I did and I saw this post and was a bit gutted.