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Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat


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I know this will never happen, but I would sincerely love it if the show was revamped and the tired old storylines featuring the corporate moguls of Genoa City recedes into the background and more relatable, characters are introduced.

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3 minutes ago, pvandal said:

When Nick told Nikki that he and Victoria never got the advantages from Victor that Adam did

. . . and he said it with that petulant pout beneath a scowling brow expression that makes me want to smack him upside his head.

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Being a Newman is basically a life sentence and/or a diagnosis, I guess.  Victor mumbled his way out of the orphanage, learned to feed rats to a guy he kept inprisoned, and then must have thought, "If I have my OWN family, I can make THEM eat rats forever!"  Then he found a woman who the Stepford wives would have thought too submissive and the games began.

Every one of those "children" are within hailing distance of 50 and they're still dancing to Daddy's tune?  And co-conspirator Mommy aids and abets him?

All of this, and all of them, should be taking place in a day room at Fairview, and when they all stop talking, they should be led back to their individual rooms where they will be sedated and locked in for the night.

There's not a one of them who shouldn't be a master at basket weaving by now.

Edited by boes
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Dear Buttbiscuit;

I need a cure for manpain, STAT. My brother is a poopyhead, but my dad thinks the sun shines out of his azz. Let’s call my brother, I don’t know, Adumb. Adumb is a dickface, and you can tell by the way everyone calls him a dick to his face. Haha. He got to be raised on a farm by a nice dude, but then he showed up back here with his fancy schmancy degree, looking for a slice of the family pie. He didn’t even pay his dues by having his bio dad pizzle on him since the day he was born. Sorry, buddy. You snooze and then you lose. Amirite?

Pops is always like “why can’t you get your hair cut like your brother’s?” “Shave that fucking thing off your head or put a brown paper bag over it. And don’t forget  the eye holes this time, clown.” “You look like an overcooked boiled hot dog bitten by a radioactive shower clog.” To add injury to insult, my pipe cozy keeps shouting out Adumb’s name when we’re humping. WTF? My sister shitcanned me for her fuckbuddy while my kid was strapped to a bomb, my mom is doing this creepy whisper thing and might be dead inside, and my gurl won’t pursue my dream of starting a fart foundation. It’s such a good idea! Imagine one place on earth that holds all the information on cheese cutting while doing research on stuff like fartless beans. She just shakes her head and looks sad.

I’m on the shitter all the time because of the stress. My ex-wife is banging a guy way hotter than me too. I’m just a billionaire’s son, struggling to be my own dude. No one gets me. I just really want to sit on my couch and watch pickleball with my hand down my shorts, occasionally taking it out for a quick sniff test. Maybe I’m depressed because my brother ruined everything by getting born. Help me, Buttbiscuit. You’re my only hope.

Signed

Manpain-iac

Dear Manpain-iac;

The doctor is in! You’ve come to the right place, my friend. I have used my column for years to bring awareness to the silent epidemic of manpain. Real talk: there is no cure, but it can be managed successfully. It used to be that the world would put on a nice lipstick and kiss our hindquarters just because we existed in a penile state. Now we’re expected to not say stupid shit and no one leaves gift baskets full of unearned respect, nookie, and power on our doorsteps anymore. You sound a lot like me, the son of an influential and wealthy man unfairly expected not to fuck up all the time. I also have a jerk of a brother who thinks his talent and hard work and my underhanded skeeviness somehow entitle him not to trust me.

Don’t give up and give in though. You can still carve out a satisfying life even without society tickling your balls 24/7. Are you still getting your dick wet? Then who cares what name she calls out! If your lover was once your brother’s, it’s rubbing sandpaper across his hemorrhoids to know you’re together. He thinks about it every single moment of every single day and it is killing him. You can still get away with being deeply sexist and classist in Genoa City, as it is a bit of an aristocracy where you can delude yourself it’s a meritocracy. I don’t know shit about shit, but I’m a CEO with bags of cash so the rubes treat me like I’m awesome. I don’t even have to aspire to mediocre! Embrace that sweet freedom, bud. 

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13 hours ago, surfgirl said:

Oy. My head hurts watching Sharon play Corporate Magnate/Captainette of Industry. The corporate intrique! The corporate gamesmanship! The bidness acumen! The pithy bidness jargon! Just, ouch!

That's all I got.

That's all you and most of us viewers have, because that's all JG,  the atrocious scriptwriter is giving us. This corporations' storyline is a fail due to the fact none of them appear to have any actual products or promotions currently. Newman Media vs Chancellor Winters and the tension about the reveal of Ashland Lockes's true nature was worth watching. What is the fate of "Marchetti Homes"? Does Summer actually design anything anymore, other than plots to keep her mother out of jail? The lack of any new products out of Jabot stinks, excuse the pun. What would be Newman Media's BIG STORY to unleash internationally? That Victoria is screwing Nate, and in keeping with the incestuous tendendencies of her father, Victor's going to screw Nate next? A clue for the future of this show is in that old Elvis song's lyrics, "A little less conversation, a little more action, please." 

 

 

 

 

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I know I'm a day late on this, but I just watched Tuesday's episode, and I have to say, I'm annoyed. Watching Tessa and Mariah have all the sads because Aria might have hearing loss is okay, but only up to a point. Tessa asking the doctor (with all due stress and guilt), " How did this happen? Did we do something wrong, doctor?" 

Well, Tessa, how exactly would that have worked? Neither of you gave birth to her, and you just adopted her a short while ago. Unless you beat her in the ears with a baseball bat, there's not likely anything you could have done to cause this, so save your energy for moving forward.

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What on Earth was the point of the fantasy scenes? I would’ve rather heard more of Esther’s plans for the coffeehouse than the time filler we were subjected to. (Okay, that’s a lie, but it’s close.)

Can Adam tell Nikki to shut the hell up for once? You can’t even say that it’s Adam’s fault she’s a jackass to him because she does that to everyone. And considering that Count Dracula is her husband, it can’t be that Adam offends her strict moral code. Her problem with Adam isn’t his actions… it’s his very existence. He’s a walking, talking reminder that Victor loved another woman. Strippi isn’t his mother, so the idea that Adam should stand there as she belittles him is ridiculous.

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Dear Buttbiscuit;

I guess you could call me a repeat customer, which tells you everything you need to know about my life. I’ve been caught up in what I thought was corporate intrigue, but it turns out my father was just jerking off and ejaculating embalming fluid all over me. We’ve been trying to figure out the leadership structure of a new media company, and I threw my hat in the ring. Was I smug and cocky? I was just mirroring the energy people give me.

Anyway, the old scrote ordered all the players to gather in his mausoleum, where we each shared our opinions and vision for the company. My partners’ opinions varied between “I should be launched into the sun” and “I should drop dead”. My dad’s wife dropped by to serve me a vitriol cocktail, and he said nothing as she kept pouring more cyanide in the glass. Considering she birthed my brother, the flatulent fascist boy bander, she’s got some cheek looking down at her nose at anyone. Not only did my father sit there like roadkill as his wife took a strip off me, he gave her the job I wanted and left me with two new partners, Diddly and Squat.

I’m not really asking for advice, unless you have some scorched earth tactics I’m not aware of. I am attaching a list of my father’s credit card numbers, their associated pins, security codes and expiration dates. A link to my brother’s massive porn collection is included; just make sure you have a terabyte drive if you wish to download it.

Signed

Fuck All Y’All

Dear Fuck;

While I always appreciate fresh masturbatory material, this is some of the most non-erotic and hilarious porn I’ve ever seen. Mrs. Pac-Man getting railed by a ghost? Sex with suitcases? To each his own, I guess.

Victor Newman’s credit card information? Wow! I can’t risk any illegal activities as I’m in the thick of real corporate intrigue and need to maintain a low profile, but I’m going to spam that shit all over Reddit.

Even though I suspect this is my nemesis, I’m going to help a fellow black sheep out, mainly because I’d love to see Victor Newman finally eat fossilized shit. I recommend low level psychological warfare that leaves a trail of chronic irritation in its wake. He’ll wait for the other shoe to drop, never knowing it’s going to kick him in the jimmies and run. Spread Grape-Nuts throughout his bedding or coffin lining or whatever the hell it is he sleeps in. Leave a trail of LEGO’s from the bedroom to his private bathroom. Add dandruff flakes to his salt shaker. Sew dead fish inside his punching bag. There is truly no end to the hateful pranks one can deploy to poop on pop. Good luck!

 

Edited by NinjaPenguins
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4 hours ago, TVForever said:

Tessa asking the doctor (with all due stress and guilt), " How did this happen? Did we do something wrong, doctor?" 

Well, Tessa, how exactly would that have worked? Neither of you gave birth to her, and you just adopted her a short while ago. Unless you beat her in the ears with a baseball bat, there's not likely anything you could have done to cause this, so save your energy for moving forward.

lol for real! 
That question was so stupid I wanted the doctor to just look at her and say “yeah, you chose an unhealthy kid”

please know that in REAL LIFE I know deaf people and know they aren’t unhealthy and they lead completely full lives! This show is just so full of stupidity. That stupid question deserves a stupid answer and this whole storyline is bordering on offensive so why not go all in.

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1 hour ago, nasir jones said:

Can Adam tell Nikki to shut the hell up for once? You can’t even say that it’s Adam’s fault she’s a jackass to him because she does that to everyone. And considering that Count Dracula is her husband, it can’t be that Adam offends her strict moral code. Her problem with Adam isn’t his actions… it’s his very existence. He’s a walking, talking reminder that Victor loved another woman. Strippi isn’t his mother, so the idea that Adam should stand there as she belittles him is ridiculous.

Exactly! I’ve often wondered why she will accept Abby even though she is a product of Ashley, her biggest rival at one time, but I think it’s because Abby isn’t involved in the business and isn’t a threat to her precious darlings’ jobs.
Of course Sharon called Michael because he’s the only lawyer in town. I wonder if he will help her as he has been Victor’s lap dog so many times? Where’s Heather? Here’s a storyline for her other than pining after Daniel. 

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Three grown-@$$ people sitting with their thumbs up their hiney holes, waiting for TGVN to bestow his corporate benevolence upon them. Who asked for this nonsense? IMO that person needs to go stand in a corner and think about their poor choices in life. 🤨

In Adam's fantasy world why were his and Victor's clothes so shiny, lol? And of course DreamNick had to punch somebody because when all else fails, he starts swinging.

Sharon should well know better by now than to try to reason with Adam.

Nick's fantasy world had DreamAdam apologetic and stripped of all ego. Sure that'll ever happen, Nick. 🙄

"'You do you,' as they say." Dang, Victor, way to be savage toward the mother of two of your grandchildren. I thought Sharon's argument made sense. She's not here for rolling in the muck with him and the fighting Newman siblings. The conditions she originally agreed to contractually have changed.

I like Nikki's slim sheath dress but I can't with the gigantic belt. Those still look to me like they're propping up her boobs. Women of a certain age may not want to emphasize how much the girls are sagging. 😼

Whoa, Nikki coming in hot! Since when is she so bothered by Adam? But she can't seriously think she can tell either Nick or Adam about themselves at this point in their lives. Way too much water under those bridges.

Victor made Nikki the CEO of NM. Yawn. She isn't any more qualified for the job than Nick is. I think Adam is on target: this is all about Victor trying to punish him, logic be damned.

Meanwhile, Nick as NE co-CEO with Victoria is laughable. Why would she agree to sharing the power with Nick? Give him a week or two and he'll quit in a huff again.

Wait, what? No. Victor was not crying as he stared at a photo of Adam. Chile please. (Maybe that supposed to be an Emmy reel moment for EB.)

No one defeats you, Victor? Um, Father Time would like to have a word. Right after he stops laughing at the sight of you hitting the punching bag with your bare hands.

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Of course Sharon called Michael because he’s the only lawyer in town. I wonder if he will help her as he has been Victor’s lap dog so many times? Where’s Heather? Here’s a storyline for her other than pining after Daniel. 

I think Sharon should call Brittany Hodges to handle her lawsuit against Victor. Michael is compromised and Heather has questionable legal ethics.

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jerking off and ejaculating embalming fluid

Now there's a visual. 😱

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Please stop with Victor and the punching bag. Are the writers trying to humor EB into thinking he still has what it takes? Wearing his street clothes and no boxing gloves. 🤕💀 I would seriously be afraid he would.drop dead while filming.

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And why is a lone punching bag and stool sitting in a spare, beige room? Victor did accurately sum up one of the things that has weighed down the show - no one ever gets to defeat him. That’s why there was zero tension in today’s absolutely pointless scenes. The outcome was pre-determined, yet somehow still lamer than my expectations.

Were we supposed to clap and cheer when Nikki verbally abused Adam? I had serious secondhand embarrassment when she was mocking him. Take a fucking seat, asshole. Adam was being a dick about the whole thing, but Victor and Nikki were such horrors that I’d much rather he come out ahead. Victor and his shitwife acting like Victor was some magnanimous, benevolent father who offered Adam nothing but opportunities and wuv was the height of hilarity. The Newman family is a sick, depressing mess and I’m not sure that’s what the writer intends.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d rather watch Billy inhale various objects than see Nikki, Victor and their two idiot children on my screen blathering about Newman Media.

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1 hour ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Were we supposed to clap and cheer when Nikki verbally abused Adam? I had serious secondhand embarrassment when she was mocking him. Take a fucking seat, asshole. Adam was being a dick about the whole thing, but Victor and Nikki were such horrors that I’d much rather he come out ahead. Victor and his shitwife acting like Victor was some magnanimous, benevolent father who offered Adam nothing but opportunities and wuv was the height of hilarity. The Newman family is a sick, depressing mess and I’m not sure that’s what the writer intends.

I had two favorite moments in this Genoa City homage to the splatter gore genre.

One was when Nikki called Adam out as the "most entitled" person she knows.  Lady, look around the room.  More important, find a mirror.  Adam may be what you say but he's a rank amateur compared to you and yhat bucket of sludge you're married to.  Enough with her invoking Katherine, too.  The only thing I never understood or countenaced about Kay was her sympathy and interest in Nikki and Victor.  But then again, she also liked Cane, Amber, Kevin.....OK, I guess Katherine had shit taste in people but I wish Nikki wouldn't remind us of it.

The other was when Victor told Adam that all he'd ever wanted was "a little humility" from him.  Of course, what he means is that wanted him broken and amenable to Victor's whims.  He's a terrible father, a terrible husband and a terrible person.  Why does Show want us to think otherwise?

It's time for that punching bag to punch back.

Edited by boes
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7 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d rather watch Billy inhale various objects than see Nikki, Victor and their two idiot children on my screen blathering about Newman Media.

The inability of Victor not ever being able to change (either due to the writers or the actor himself) is an embarrassment to the character and Eric B himself. Cringeworthy. 

If Adam would only have calmly told his father and everyone in the room “Well, Dad…I am sure my ex-stripper of a stepmother will do a fine job as CEO” (or is it COO?). 

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The more I listen to Banana Breath throw 💩 on Adam, the more I realize that he only wants Sally for two reasons. To satisfy some sexual desires and to keep Sally away from Adam in proving his dominance over his brother. 

Too bad that Adam was only having a day dream but, for me, it was very entertaining. Adam is not wrong, of all the Newmans, he is the most qualified to run NM and for that matter NE. 

Domino Botoxia’s day dream was also very entertaining but in the end, she believes Adam is still Adam and she wants out. 

What the fuck Banana Breath!  Everything Adam touches turns into a disaster. Banana Breath, Faith could have been dead if it wasn’t for Adam.  You could be dead in the basement of the Kansas Farm house if it wasn’t for Adam. No Banana Breath you pompous ass hole, those are adverted disasters by Adam. 

So Nikki is qualified to be the CEO of NM 😂😂😂😂😂😂. The only thing Nikki is qualified for is performing on a “pole” and knowing the difference between Absolute and Grey Goose. Banana Breath where is your objection to Nikki becoming CEO, of NM, because her MS could flare up due to stress. Didn’t you object to Nikki planing piano, at a concert, because of stress.  Nikki chastises Adam but when it comes to Banana Breath, Nikki really doesn’t chastise him but starts her chastisement with my precious son. Nikki is also worried about how Groucho will accept this news. 

What’s wrong with this picture?  Banana Breath will be replacing Nikki as co CEO and Smugly Smug Smug remains COO. Victor knows that Banana Breath doesn’t like Smugly Smug Smug and Groucho dismisses Banana Breath’s ideas but will he order Groucho to play nice?  

Do I feel sorry for Victor now that he thinks he’s alone?  In a way because he constantly gets stuck between a rock and a hard place or should I say a catch 22 situation. He wants to help Adam but Groucho, Banana Breath, and Nikki are dead set against it so he keeps placating them over Adam.  

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7 minutes ago, Waldo13 said:

Too bad that Adam was only having a day dream but, for me, it was very entertaining. Adam is not wrong, of all the Newmans, he is the most qualified to run NM and for that matter NE. 

What the fuck Banana Breath!  Everything Adam touches turns into a disaster. Banana Breath, Faith could have been dead if it wasn’t for Adam.  You could be dead in the basement of the Kansas Farm house if it wasn’t for Adam. No Banana Breath you pompous ass hole, those are adverted disasters by Adam. 

Waldo13, you pointed out the gaping hole in Victor's constant "It's only business" bullshit.  As you say, Adam IS the most qualified to run NM, hands down.  So Victor is either fine lying to himself or to everyone else.  What am I saying?  Of course he is, he always has been.  If there's anyone in Genoa City to whom "It's only business" does NOT apply, it's Victor.  Everything he does, ultimately, is based on emotion or a personal grudge with him.

I was hoping against hope that Adam, or someone, would remember how Adam saved Faith and also Nick.  That should be shoved in their faces every time he sees any of them.

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One more thing.....Did Show forget that Michael works for Victor?  We had that whole mini storyline of Lauren getting exasperated with Michael because he wanted to accept the general counsel job Victor offered him, and Michael accepting the job under the condition that he could accept outside cases when he wanted to.  That's why, when he defended Diane, Nikki was mad at him.

I very much doubt Victor is going to be okay with Michael accepting a job helping Sharon wrest her company back from Victor, his employer.  

Anyway, we all know it will be settled, one way or the other, at the coffee shop or on a bench in the park.

 

Edited by boes
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44 minutes ago, boes said:

Waldo13, you pointed out the gaping hole in Victor's constant "It's only business" bullshit.  As you say, Adam IS the most qualified to run NM, hands down.  So Victor is either fine lying to himself or to everyone else.  What am I saying?  Of course he is, he always has been.  If there's anyone in Genoa City to whom "It's only business" does NOT apply, it's Victor.  Everything he does, ultimately, is based on emotion or a personal grudge with him.

I was hoping against hope that Adam, or someone, would remember how Adam saved Faith and also Nick.  That should be shoved in their faces every time he sees any of them.

Adam also had Sharon’s back when she torched the ranch house, took a bullet for Victor, saved Chance in LV, and saved Nostrils from the penthouse fire.  

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On 8/30/2023 at 11:58 PM, boes said:

Every one of those "children" are within hailing distance of 50 and they're still dancing to Daddy's tune?

There was a family-owned funeral home in the neighborhood I grew up in, and the story I heard was that the adult sons of the owner worked in the funeral home, but rather than pay them a salary, their father kept them on a weekly allowance that they had to go to him to receive - I guess it was just so they wouldn't forget who the boss was.

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Portrait of Nick after being told that his sister's getting a bigger piece of the Newman Enterprises pie because daddy loves her best - actually, it's a still from the Laurel and Hardy short film "Any Old Port" (1932) showing Walter Long (1879-1952), a character actor who played tough guy roles in films, including in the four following Laurel and Hardy short films: "Pardon Us" (1931), "Any Old Port" (1932), "Going Bye-Bye" (1934) and "The Live Ghost" (1934)

 

image.thumb.png.845e2ac9742f5a42fced095cf3a3a120.png

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So I'm having a periodic bout of insomnia and turn on what turns out to be a Diagnosis Murder re-run, "Flashdance with Death" S1 Ep11 (1/28/1994), and to my surprise a fresh-faced unbelievably young Kristoff St.John is playing a character named Sammy Garrett who is the prime, though innocent, murder suspect.

 

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The gods are watching over me...because not only did my DVR refuse to record yesterday's debacle daydream nightmare, but also last night the episode was not available On Demand. I guess someone is looking after my mental well being. *hears bell ring* Thank you, Clarence!

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10 minutes ago, jqdeco said:

I know it’s a soap, but geez Nikki. You should know it’s illegal to ask personal questions about an employees love life. Where is HR when you need them.

Please don't blame Nikki.  It's Adam's fault.

Everything is.  Just check the Genoa City charter.

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Yikes, Summer ratted out Audra's affair with Kyle to Audra's new NM boss, Nikki. Way to be messy, Stuporgirl.

Oh boy, it's Flashback Friday. 😐

Kind of a shame Billy and Adam can't ever be friends. They have in common their misfortunes of being the younger brother from another mother, inside very clannish families.

Right away Nikki wants to use her change in job title to settle a personal score. Of course. Newmans and petty revenge: It's who they are; it's what they do.

I think Jack is such a simp. There he was pouring his heart out to Ashley and she could barely contain her smirk. Have some self-respect, Jack. Ashley will stare down her own death before she'll accept Diane.

It still bothers me though to see Adam trash-talking Billy to his face. AFAIC killing someone's child puts you permanently on their STFU list.

Now that he'll be reporting to his soon-to-be ex's grandma, how long will it take Kyle to return to Jabot with his tail tucked between his legs?

Nikki coming in hot AGAIN! At least Audra wasn't surprised by the attack since Nate did her an office gossip solid. Honestly, Nikki might want put some raw red meat in her diet because lately she stays looking for blood.

So part of Nikki's issues with Audra goes back to Noah. Geez, Audra is still taking blame for her failed relationship with the disco fevered Emo Boy.

Wonder how much Liberty Mutual had to pay for the product placement in today's Y&R episode? KMN if Harrison shows up in a yellow shirt and aviator sunglasses.

Re the previews: dare I hope Kyle has the guts to tell Nikki off? He doesn't need that silly NM job anyway.

Edited by Joimiaroxeu
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For the love of God please have Audra sue Newman/Nikki for threatening her job if she doesn't drop Kyle. We were already robbed of Nate suing for sexual harassment pleas show, you owe us a big ugly lawsuit in which Newman loses.

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I can’t tell if Nikki has a resting bitch face or a resting elitist my 💩 don’t stink face. 

Holy💩!  Is the world coming to an end?  Nostrils is actually commiserating with Adam.  Good in-site as usual Adam with is Jack waiting for you to screw up or are you waiting to screw up.  WhT crawled up Nostrils nose and died?  What Jack said to Nostrils was fairly innocuous for him to go off like that. I guess he needs Chelsea to keep him in line.   

Hey Jack, your reasoning is flawed. Ashley doesn’t share DNA with John. She was only raised by John but her upbringing doesn’t mean that she’s prone to be loving, kind, and compassionate. I don’t know anything about Brent Davis, Ashley’s bio father,  but Ashley has his DNA which could be contrary to how she was raised. Jack and Traci carry John’s DNA as to being kind and compassionate but their half sister, Ashley, via her hatred for Diana with a thousand suns, shows she’s capable of true vitriol.  I get the feeling that Ashley would rather die than to be indebted to Diane.  Ashley can’t flat out forgive Diane for saving her life is like Banana Breath unable to let bygones to be bygones for Adam saving his and Faith’s life.  

Maybe the one good thing about Nikki is that you can’t pull the wool over her eyes but her biases tend to determine how much wool can be pulled.  Audra you are definitely playing with fire with saying negative things about Noah and Summer❄️x6.  It’s OK for Nikki to blackmail Audra but it not OK for Adam to blackmail Audra. Talk about double standards. 

 

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geez Nikki. You should know it’s illegal to ask personal questions about an employees love life. Where is HR when you need them.

HR is busy looking the other way while their employer's CEO is screwing her COO, either in her office or the NE corporate suite at the GCAC. And said screwing often occurs during office hours so basically the COO is being paid to be a prostitute. Sorry but laws are for the sad sacks whose last name isn't Newman.

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it will be settled, one way or the other, at the coffee shop or on a bench in the park.

Or the jazz club. Then the jurors will be able to enjoy cocktails and yummy appetizers while they listen to the testimony.

 

Edited by Joimiaroxeu
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18 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

I think Jack is such a simp. There he was pouring his heart out to Ashley and she could barely contain her smirk. Have some self-respect, Jack. Ashley will stare down her own death before she'll accept Diane.

Yeah, those Ashley scenes had me feeling a little second hand embarrassment for Jack.  All of his earnestness and Ashley barely concealing how uncomfortable she is with any feelings other than bloodlust and revenge. 

Ashley and Jack are like that parable about the Scorpion and the Frog, and Ashley is definitely the scorpion in this retelling.

I doubt Lil' Dom is going to be begging to spend any time at Grandma's house.

What's this current Victor/Nikki obsession with humility?  Yesterday, Victor wanted Adam to have a "little humility" and today, Nikki is going to teach Audra to have a little "humility". 

They could both teach people some things, but humility, much less humanity, aren't any of those things.  Victor hasn't felt any humility since his folks tossed him out of a running car at the porch of the "Home for Lil' Nazis" and Nikki gave up any pretence to humility the moment she started dating Victor.

This is a woman whose ego is so big she coerced a whole roomful of paying guests into listening to her plunk out chopsticks on the piano, supposedly for charity, and she did that without a moments shame.  That's just one example.

Audra may need to learn some humility, but damned if I can think of anyone in Genoa City who could teach her that, much less anyone named Newman.

Edited by boes
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Nikki: Summer! I haven’t thought about you in months. How’s your marriage to that upside down toilet brush?

Summer: We’re getting divorced.

Nikki: But you’ve been through so much! As siblings and lovers.

Summer: He’s whoring around with Audra Charles, who is a whore. The problem is definitely that slut and not all the criming and lying I did.

Nikki: I didn’t think I’d get to crush another peasant so soon.

@@@@@@@@@

Kyle: Can I interest you in a bouffant buffet for dessert?

Audra: I think I’d like a refreshing pompsicle.

Nate: Sorry, but I have to interrupt before you make the whole restaurant sick.

@@@@@@@@

Jack: Thank goodness you’re still alive, Ash. I bet you’ll make me regret saying that within 20 minutes.

Ashley: I don’t know what’s more shocking, that I somehow choked on a grape while eating broccoli alfredo or that Satan herself saved my life.

Jack: You don’t think that Diane would let you choke to death, do you?

Ashley: I don’t think she’d piss on me if I was on fire, unless she could piss gasoline.

@@@@@@@@@@

Billy indignantly recalls Jack’s lack of trust in his lying, cheating, gambling ass. Adam saunters in and perches on a nearby stool.

Adam: Scotch. Neat.

Billy: Ah, yes. The universal elixir for manpain.

Adam: I thought I felt a draft.

Billy: I think I can finally see the world through your eyes. Your deep, soulful eyes.

@@@@@@@

Summer: Grandma, I did lie to Kyle and push him away.

Nikki: Newmans can do no wrong. I’m so glad you told me this. I have a meeting with Miss Hot to Trot this afternoon. I shall endeavor to put her in her place, which is under my shoe.

Summer: Oh…no. Please don’t do that, grandma. Not for little ol’ me.

Nikki: Audra needs a good dose of humility. Why shouldn’t it come from me? I am the most humble person I know.

Summer: I suppose I wouldn’t mind. You really twisted my arm.

@@@@@@@@@@

Jack: This woman who you thought wanted you dead saw you choking, did a small, albeit tasteful dance and immediately jumped in to save your life.

Ashley: I mean, there were a lot of people there. I’m sure that if I’d turned blue, someone would have intervened.

Jack: You flatter yourself. But I know you’d do the same for Diane.

Ashley: No. In fact, I’d crane kick anyone who tried to help her.

Jack: Underneath that brittle, obsessive shell is a loving heart and kind soul.

Ashley: Goddamn you’re naive. I pray every day for that bitch to choke on a bottle cap.

Jack: Oh, you. I think this could be the olive branch we’ve been looking for.

Ashley: Don’t hand me an olive branch, Jackie. I’ll make a Diane popsicle out of it.

@@@@@@@@

Audra: If this is about Newman Media, Kyle works there. You can speak freely in front of him.

Kyle and Nate eye each other warily, two young gladiators taking each other’s measure and assessing each other’s hair game. Nate can just tell the air is thinner at the top of Kyle’s head. The Abbot scion instinctively realizes that Nate’s side part symbolizes a path to nirvana. They exchange nods of mutual respect. Just kidding. They’re both idiots, ready to unzip and whip ‘em out for the ruler to judge.

Nate: Alright. Victoria called, and, well, you didn’t hear this from me, but Adam is dunzo at Newman. He’s cut off completely.

Kyle: Awwww yaaassssss. I whooped that ass again!

Audra: Huh. That is unexpected. What about the merger? What happens to SNA?

Nate: The merger is still on. Nick is back in the Newman Enterprises fold as co-CEO with Victoria.

Audra: That’s Nikki’s job.

Nate: She’s now CEO of Newman Media.

Audra: So Victor lied to me.

Nate: Not quite. You’ll be Nikki’s COO, her second in command.

Audra: Well, I’m fucked. She doesn’t trust me and acts like I’m the one who graduated from Stripper Pole University, home of the fighting Thigh Rashes.

Kyle: What about meeeeeee?

@@@@@@@@@

Adam: Something terrible must have happened to make you see things from my perspective. Jack cut off your shoe polish allowance?

Billy: Look, dillweed, I had a brief moment of empathy and a jostling in my shorts when you smirked at me. But don’t get it twisted; we ain’t bros.

Adam: I wasn’t trying to be your bro, bro. But you can’t relate to me, and it’s not just because you’re emotionally dead inside. I am a cold, selfish, power hungry narcissist, while you are a mere fuck up. You’ll never be on my level.

Billy: I don’t disagree. But I get what it feels like to have everyone just waiting for you to fail or go back to your old bad habits.

Adam: You don’t know shit. What did you do to Jack this time?

Billy: Not a damn thing. He just refuses to trust me.

Adam: That’s weird, because he trusts me. In fact, he’s wistfully told me he wishes I was his son or brother. You and Kyle suck all species of ass. Do you even realize you’re only co-CEO because I chose to leave Jabot? Deep in your heart, you know Jack would take me back yesterday.

Billy: Don’t presume to know what’s in my heart, fucko. One day, you’ll have sex with Jack’s wife, rub his nose in it, mock his manhood as he suffers PTSD and then have a filthy, shame-soaked fuck party with his wife’s daughter. Then we’ll see who Jack’s favorite is.

Adam: ….

@@@@@@@@

Jack: I think we should take this as a sign to really make peace, to reunite the family, to spread rainbows, sunshine and confetti, to -

Ashley: Okay okay okay. Stop cosplaying as a greeting card. I just wanted you to understand that I’ve been trying to save your life. Metaphorically. And literally. Diane is definitely plotting to kill you for your money and assets. The post-nuptial agreement was a brilliant feint, I will admit.

Jack: I miss you, Ash. And I want to get you the help you need.

Ashley: I’ll back off, but a lot of this depends on Diane. If she so much as looks at me funny, she’ll be found floating in Jeremy Stark Memorial Lake.

Jack: I’m sure she’ll behave, being sane and all.

Ashley: What about you? Will you accept Tucker McCall as your spirit animal? He is my husband.

Jack: Ah come on. You know that I’m subconsciously halfway there. I just want to go back to fighting over stupid shit, like whether Billy looks more like an anteater or an alpaca.

Ashley: Don’t forget the great mortician versus reverse mortgage salesman debate. Remember Traci coming in hot with ID channel schmuck who murders his wife for insurance money, but gets busted after police find corpse disposal research in his Google history?

Jack: She is a writer. I hope this means you’ll come back to the family company. It’s where you belong, not at some competing business.

Ashley: I’ll think about it. You’ve got me well and truly boxed in here, but given enough time, I’m sure I can find a solid reason to continue my vendetta.

@@@@@@@

Audra: I’ve got your back, Kyle. Not to mention your front.

Nate: Why would you be in danger, Kyle? It’s not like Nikki has a grudge against you, right?

Kyle: Dude, come on. I’m divorcing her granddaughter.

Nate: Does Nikki even know that? She doesn’t spend much time among the plebes if she can help it.

Kyle: I’m sure Summer has already tattled on me.

Audra: When I meet with Nikki this afternoon, I’ll make sure she sees the value of your work, Kyle.

Kyle: Thank you. Of course, I’ll still explore other options, just in case. They’re auditioning exotic dancers down at Club Thundernuts, and I really think I have a shot.

Nate: You don’t even have to work, motherfucker.

Kyle: I do actually. I’ve been in on acquiring a podcast about hats. It would be, uh, my master stroke. Several of them, if you want to know the truth.

Kyle wanders off.

Audra: I suppose I have to get to my meeting with Nikki. I saw the cobra exhibit at the zoo the other day, so I’m prepared.

Nate: Wait a minute. I don’t mean to overstep, but I’d advise against torpedoing your career for that tall glass of skim milk.

Audra: Kyle and I are just having fun. We both went into this thing with our eyes wide open.

Nate: Does he know that? ‘Cause he doesn’t know much.

@@@@@@@@@

Billy: I’m rather intrigued by this tasty morsel you claim to have on Tucker McCall. How much does it cost? What would I have to do to earn it? I’m willing to do things… forbidden things. Naughty things.

Adam: Considering how little I have going for me at the moment, I’m going to hold on to any leverage I get. You’re left holding your dick yet again. Fortunately for you, there’s not enough heft to induce carpal tunnel.

Billy: Jerk.

@@@@@@@

Kyle: Summer. How strange to cross paths in Genoa City’s only park.

Summer: Right? No one else gets how amaze balls it is to meet in one of like five places our social circle frequents.

Kyle: I’ll, uh, just leave the only outdoor bench in town to you. I’m sure your soft and pampered buttocks need it more than mine do.

Summer: How’s Harrison?

Kyle: Great. He doesn’t like Brussels sprouts, which is such a fresh, original trope.

Summer: Maybe he’s allergic to them. You don’t know his life.

Kyle: He also wants an emu for his birthday. Like that’s a real animal.

Summer: Poor kid. I tried to explain it to him. That damn Limu Emu has really caught his fancy. Just when we finally convinced him that geckos, lemurs, and sloth were myths. Commercials are, like, so fake.

Kyle: Talking mucus blobs are real though. Uncle Billy has a small community of them living in a sinus cavity. So… I hear Chelsea is out of town and Chloe has joined Marchetti. How’s that going?

Summer: I don’t know. I spend most afternoons at the amusement park, seeing how wide I can open my mouth on various rides. How’s Newman Media?

Kyle: I guess that depends on how wide you opened your mouth around Grandma, doesn’t it?

@@@@@@@@@

Nikki: As lady of the estate, I bid you welcome, commoner. You may be seated.

Audra: Why are we having a business meeting in your private home? That’s weird.

Nikki: Would you care for some tea? I’m sure it’s a step up from the tepid water and sorrow you peons can afford.

Audra: That would be lovely. Shouldn’t someone of your status and means have a servant to pour tea?

Nikki: I would like to address the Kyle Abbot situation.

Audra: He’s fantastic. Hard working, creative, efficient… I hope there’s still room for him here with you being promoted to CEO.

Nikki: And just how did you know about Victor’s decision? That information is not for the grubby hands of commoners like yourself. Let me guess. The other interloper, Nate, heard it from Victoria and presumed he had the right to pass it along?

Audra: It’s not classified. There was an article about the restructuring on page F2 of the Genoa City Blowhole, right next to the Dear Buttbiscuit column.

Nikki: Let us return to the Kyle Abbot problem. As you know, he is married to my beloved granddaughter.

Audra: They’re getting divorced.

Nikki: So he thinks. Victor has not granted him permission yet, so there is still a chance for reconciliation. Until such time as he grants Kyle his freedom, you will cease and desist playing with Summer’s toys. Perhaps you can find some rusty nails or broken glass to amuse yourself with.

Audra: If Kyle wants to move on, that’s his business. Summer isn’t blameless in what happened. She helped Phyllis commit crimes and lied about it.

Nikki: Irrelevant! Newmans are always innocent even when proven guilty.

Audra: My private life is not your business. I thought I was here to discuss a job, not be slut shamed.

Nikki: Oh yes. The job. Here’s a slice of humble pie for you. Your future at Newman Media depends on ending this defiance and leaving Kyle Abbot alone. Summer’s happiness comes before record profits and increased market share. It’s not personal.

Audra: I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure none of this is legal.

Nikki: Audra, Audra, Audra. Is there something about my family that provokes your rage? Why must you target us? The worst people target the most vulnerable in our society. Does our Newmanity mean nothing to you?

Audra: Less than that. If this is about Noah, I can only tell you that we broke each others’ hearts. I admit I asked him out on a dare from my friends. He was the nerd trying to use a Batman voice to pick up chicks. We went out to dinner, he started droning on about art and six months later I woke up from my coma. The doctors told me I would have woken up after a week had Noah not sat at my bedside every day.

Nikki: Poor widdle baby had to take a widdle nap. Waaaaahhhhh.

Audra: Am I in or am I out?

Nikki: If I had my way, you’d be shipped to our satellite office in Hell. However, your work is very impressive and because you’re a slattern, Victor admires you. You must cool your jets with Kyle, though. So let it be written, so let it be done.

@@@@@@@

Jack: I’m glad I found you here, Billy. Wtf? Why am I saying things like that?

Billy: Go fuck yourself, you fucking fuck.

Jack: I wanted to apologize for the misunderstanding earlier.

Billy: Is that we’re calling accusations of ratfucking these days? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit, old man. Get to stepping.

Jack: Listen. I just came from Ashley’s. We made a real breakthrough today. I sincerely believe this rivalry is coming to a peaceful conclusion. I want to make peace with you too.

Billy: You’re pathetic, man. You’re so naive. You’re still as naive as you were when I was dustbusting Phyllis’ tits with my nose vac. My lips harden nips. And now you’re buying the moist cow flops Ashley is selling and thinking they’re chocolate cake. Am I going to have to put my keys in Diane’s ignition to wake you the fuck up?

Jack: Grimace.

@@@@@@@@@

Nate: Adam. Lol.

Adam: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Newman Enterprises’ new golden boy, the man with the precision part, Nate Hastings! Bravo, sir.

Nate: I wouldn’t call myself that. I prefer “The Part Who Steals Hearts” or “Part-y Animal”. Victoria calls me “Fastest Gun in the Midwest.”

Adam: Good for you, cowpoke. And good job influencing my father.

Nate: Have I impressed Victor? Yes. He brings visiting entrepreneurs to my office and gives them a carpenter’s level to check my hair. I’m also damn good and don’t need to resort to blackmail. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, pal.

Adam: Don’t get too comfortable, chum.

 

Edited by NinjaPenguins
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Quote

Am I the only one who read this at first as 'the jizz club'?

Hee, the "jizz club" is what the housekeeping staff call the upstairs where the rooms and suites are. The GCAC is pretty much a No-Tell Motel, but with better furniture, fluffier pillows, and a convenient lack of used condoms under the beds.

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Lawd have mercy, this:

Quote

Billy: Don’t presume to know what’s in my heart, fucko. One day, you’ll have sex with Jack’s wife, rub his nose in it, mock his manhood as he suffers PTSD and then have a filthy, shame-soaked fuck party with his wife’s daughter. Then we’ll see who Jack’s favorite is.

Adam: ….

and this:

Quote

Billy: You’re pathetic, man. You’re so naive. You’re still as naive as you were when I was dustbusting Phyllis’ tits with my nose vac. My lips harden nips. And now you’re buying the moist cow flops Ashley is selling and thinking they’re chocolate cake. Am I going to have to put my keys in Diane’s ignition to wake you the fuck up?

Jack: Grimace.

Why am I feeling mad respect for Billy right now? I'm scared.

Anyhoo, Billy could save himself a lot of that FOH energy and just hand out business cards:

foff.jpg.6b190364c940bdd8b5937f4a6afd851e.jpg

Edited by Joimiaroxeu
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6 hours ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Audra: Well, I’m fucked. She doesn’t trust me and acts like I’m the one who graduated from Stripper Pole University, home of the fighting Thigh Rashes.

OMG--I had to stop reading for a moment to catch my breath.

PURE FUCKING GOLD.

There aren't euff applause emojis for that. 

 

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Hoo boy. I finally watched The Great PeePaw Neman Dream Team sequence and I had to watch it OnDemand so no f/fing. Jesus H. Christ! That last scene with Old Man Saggy Balls vs. The Punching Bag? Holy fuck! Are they trying to kill EB off for real now? Because Grampire looked like he was about to go down. That was both scary and funny as hell. Speaking of which, I'm probably going there for saying that, but then so are all you prevents too so I'll be in good company!

Edited by surfgirl
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On 8/28/2023 at 9:35 PM, Waldo13 said:

Banana Breath needs a bra more than Sally does. 

 

On 8/29/2023 at 8:14 PM, boes said:

Is the Thomas Forrester character the one played by Matthew Atkinson?  The same guy who played Austin on Y&R some years back, the one who was dating Dummer and slept with Abby and then ended up dead in the armoire out at the Abbott cabin?

He looked like a pretty weasel back in those days and acted like one, too.

He was nothing as Austin. But he is terrific as stalker psychopathic Thomas. And he is currently boinking his obsession. I don't know where they are going to take the story, but he still looks like he is scheming all the time. Someone in that forum described him as having a "resting evil face".

On 8/30/2023 at 9:33 AM, PatsyandEddie said:

I’m setting up a table with libations and snacks for people who want to join the club of those wanting a “ Who killed Nate Hastings?” murder mystery. 

Make mine gluten-free, please.

On 8/31/2023 at 4:47 PM, pvandal said:

Exactly! I’ve often wondered why she will accept Abby even though she is a product of Ashley, her biggest rival at one time, but I think it’s because Abby isn’t involved in the business and isn’t a threat to her precious darlings’ jobs.

Could be. And part could be, in a word, spermgate. Ashley had herself inseminated without Grampire's consent and tried to keep it a secret. While it was Hope who broke things off with Grampire. So to Nikki, Adam could represent that Grampire would have been with Hope instead of her.

On 9/1/2023 at 7:33 PM, boes said:

What's this current Victor/Nikki obsession with humility?  Yesterday, Victor wanted Adam to have a "little humility" and today, Nikki is going to teach Audra to have a little "humility". 

Maybe JG has a word of the day screen saver.

Edited by SweePea59
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I find the lack of sexual harassment awareness ridiculous in this day and age. Nikki telling Audra she may not see Kyle if she wants her job was way out of line.

The only good thing about Fridays episode was Adam telling Nate not to get too comfortable. 

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35 minutes ago, Chatty Cake said:

I find the lack of sexual harassment awareness ridiculous in this day and age. Nikki telling Audra she may not see Kyle if she wants her job was way out of line. 

I am so 100% on board with this comment. As I said previously there have been several storylines that warranted sexual harassment storylines. Instead , these writers try to make it look sexy, romantic and an accepted practice in today's workplace. They are so behind the times.

This case with Aura and Kyle is a little different than sexual harassment because she is threatening her jib even though she admits her work is good because she is dating her granddaughter s soon to be ex.

Edited by MsMalin
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