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Why have I never thought to incorporate "some white girl" into my personal vernacular... thanks, y'all!

 

However, every time I hear "Behind Closed Doors" I sing it like Daddy Jones, dancing with Julia.

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I agree. Any episode with Suzanne and Anthony were gold in my opinion. They were such an  awesome team!!

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So many wonderful memories of the show here.  I loved the wilderness hunt episode when Bernice takes over and wins the best camper award.

 

A little bit of Bernice went a long way for me, but the one where Charlene is giving birth and Bernice is wearing the tree skirt as a skirt cracks me up.  

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Suzanne and Anthony were a riot!  I love the one where she buys the date with him at the auction then gets all freaked out about it.  But they end up having a good time and are laughing about it the next day.  The others try to eavesdrop when they are talking about it.

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Consuela! Consuela!

I shout that out any time we're playing board games. Again...very few get it.

I just started working with a woman named Connie, well the other day, I found out that her name is actually Consuela, and she goes by Connie because her mother is also named Consuela. It honestly took all I had to not laugh because I instantly thought about Suzanne complaining that Consuela was becoming too "Americanized" because she wanted to be called Connie.

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Charlene: I asked this Northern woman, "Where are ya'll from?" And she said, "I'm from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions." So I said, "Okay, where are ya'll from, bitch?"

 

Anthony: Julia, excuse me for overhearing, but I just want to add my two cents.

Julia: [laughs sarcastically] Oh please... I just want to hear from EVERYONE on this topic! Call your friends!

Anthony: No no, I was just going to say that you can't force yourself to start dating again if it isn't time. I know because there was a time where I wasn't interested in any romantic involvement at all. The whole idea didn't appeal to me, period... no matter who approached me, I just wasn't interested.

Julia: Really, Anthony. When was that?

Anthony: That was the day I entered prison.

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I don't know why it strikes me as so funny, but I think my all time favorite quote from Charlene is "Because, Mary Jo, I love knowledge.  In fact, I yearn for it."

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Not to mention Charlene's huge "smart chicken" glasses and the Catholic school girl costume!  Add to the fact that Charlene was from Poplar Bluff Missouri, which is right across the Mississippi River from me?  She was definitely one of my favorites. I also very much admired Jean Smart's accent considering she was the only Designing Woman not from the South, but Seattle WA.

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Can I just move into this thread and never leave?  I am sitting here in my office laughing my face off at some of these!  A special thank you to sugarbaker design for posting my favorite rant - Suzanne to Ms. Betts.  Delta's delivery was everything.  And I don't remember a non-famous guest star ever getting applause from the audience like the Ms. Betts actress did, but she sure deserved it.

 

Some of my favorites that haven't already been mentioned (like, "So basically you've built your case around two Dicks and a hat...") are:

 

After Charlene asks what could be keeping Suzanne & Anthony from "Consuela's" hearing, Julia's response and Dixie's delivery:  "Charlene, are you serious? A six foot black man dressed like Hazel just left here with Suzanne, his co-conspirator to defraud and deceive the United States government. And you're wondering what's keeping them? Well, it's been three and a half hours. I don't think you have to wonder anymore. I think it's pretty obvious. They are in prison."

 

And then Anthony's, "I'm sorry, my teeth are enormous."

 

There are also a ton that I love from the Wilderness Girls, but the one I use most when someone asks me a question about who did this or that is, "I don't know, some white girl..."

 

Nightmare From Hee Haw is another treasure trove of quotes, with my favorites being Mary Jo's "I hate it when my man sasses me" and re: Suzanne, "She thinks everybody is trying to lick the back of her neck."

 

Oh and the episode where Charlene gets engaged, and comes in and throws herself over the back of a chair and squeals and Suzanne says, "Charlene, this better not be something stupid like Pam Ewing's coming back to Dallas!"  Ha!  All in the delivery.  Such a brilliant cast.

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Suzanne and Anthony were always good together.

 

One of my favorite Suzanne scenes is at the end of an ep where this sleazy guy who always refers to them at the "top eight breasts in Atlanta" comes in, starts to say something, and Suzanne cuts him off, "I know. I know.  You wanted to go to lunch with the top eight breasts in Atlanta.  You will have to settle for the top two."

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I loved Charlene, I find it sad that in the current reruns on Logo I notice many of Charlene's asides, remarks and quips have been cut.  One of my favorite Charlene riffs was when she was describing names of the citizens of Poplar Bluff, she listed a whole bunch of crazy names and ended with Absorbine Jr.

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There have been occasions over the years where I've used "A homosexual, a bisexual, a cross dresser and a eunuch."

 

Another one from Julia Gets Her Head Stuck in a Fence (apologies if it's not exact):  "Wouldn't that be awful? I can see it now--'You see that woman over there? The one with her head stuck in the fence', 'Yes', 'Don't you think her pantyhose are just a shade too dark for her dress?'"

 

Someone mentioned the moment Julia got her dress stuck in her panty hose.  I've always liked later one when Suzanne said "Yes..my most embarrassing moment was when Julia walked down the runway with the back of her dress stuck in her pantyhose." 

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All in the delivery.  Such a brilliant cast.

 

 

It was, and they were.

 

Another one from Julia Gets Her Head Stuck in a Fence (

 

 

When Anthony said:  Julia, you want me to pull on your leg some more?

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Jean Smart was brilliant as Charlene.  For someone who is not a Southerner, her accent was spot on.  

 

She is my second favorite behind Delta as Suzanne.

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From the episode with Bernice's bad nose job, said by Suzanne, Hey Bernice it's about your snout!

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Can someone help me with a quote?  All the talk about Suzanne and Anthony's great relationship (and Delta's great comic delivery) has me remembering the one about Dash Goff and his latest book bombing.  When he had a little class for them, he asked them to describe someone in the room. Suzanne starts out "He was like an ex-convict who...." and I forget the rest. Once again, it's her delivery and their friendship that made the line so funny.

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It's lengthy, but I must quote Suzanne's speech from "They Shoot Fat Women, Don't They" in it's entirety, because it makes me cry every time:

Well, this is quite a surprise. I guess maybe I deserve this award for the Person-Most-Changed, but.... not for the reason you think. Last night I got my feelings hurt because I came to this reunion thinking I was beautiful... and what I find out was that I'm fat... at least you think I am. But that isn't the biggest change in me. The biggest change is that the old Suzanne wouldn't have shown up here tonight. She would've just gotten thin before the next reunion, and then she would have gotten even. But I'm a little older, and I hope a little wiser than that person used to be.

A lot of things have happened to me. A lot of things have happened to all of us. Sandy Smothers was killed the night before we graduated. Diane Mitchell's got two sets of twins, and Gayland Chadwick's working in the White House. We had a lot of dreams together, and there's no point in pretending... some of mine came true, and... some didn't.

I met a little boy from Africa tonight whose family died of starvation, and I realized that I spent the whole day at home worrying about the fact that I had too much to eat. I'm not sure the old Suzanne would have appreciated the absurdity of that, but this one does.

Some of you men wanted to know about my bra size, but I'd rather talk about my heart because... it's a little bigger than it used to be. The old Suzanne wouldn't have forgiven you for the things that you said, but this one will... because when I look around this room tonight, I don't see receding hairlines and the beginnings of pot-bellies and crow's feet... I just see all the beautiful faces of old girlfriends and sweet young boys who used to stand on my front porch and try to kiss me goodnight. And you can remember me any way you'd like, but that's how I'll always remember you.

And so I thank you for giving me this award for the Person-Most-Changed, however you intended it. I'm gonna treasure it because... #1.... I love trophies... and #2... I earned it. Thank you.

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However, every time I hear "Behind Closed Doors" I sing it like Daddy Jones, dancing with Julia.

Then Mary Jo sang it to her, teasing her. I loved it.

 

Remember the talent show where Suzanne wore blackface. They sang "Aint No Mountain High Enough" and Suzanne and Anthony sang "Love is Strange". Then Mary Jo sang "Marry Me Bill" and "Where the Boys Are" at Charlene's shower. This show had so many great musical memories.

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My favorite music moment was when Suzanne demonstrated her baton routine while humming "St Louis Blues" at that health spa.

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Suzanne starts out "He was like an ex-convict who...." 

"... cheated on his book report!"

 

Anthony's comeback makes me laugh as well: "She was the kind of woman who treated men like old gas station dogs."

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Remember the talent show where Suzanne wore blackface. They sang "Aint No Mountain High Enough" and Suzanne and Anthony sang "Love is Strange"

Even though the subject matter in the rest of that episode is dark, all the parts with Suzanne in blackface make me laugh so hard that I cry.

"I have to be with you! I'm a Supreme"

"I don't give a damn if you're a California raisin, you aren't coming anywhere near me."

I also feel like I need to get something off my chest: I know it's usually picked as a "Fan Favorite" episode, but I hate "Dash Goff: The Writer". I find it unbearably boring.

Edited by Princess Sparkle
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When you think about it, Charlene was the only one of the ladies who ended up with what she had always dreamed of, her handsome husband and her beautiful daughter.  I don't see her as dumb at all, but as naive and trusting.  She was sometimes too nice to people.  

Edited by smiley13
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For some reason, my favorite part of the "Julia gets her pantyhouse tucked in the back of her dress" episode is Mary Jo telling her most embarrassing story.  Something about Annie's delivery on "Right in the middle of downtown Tucumcari, New Mexico..." kills me LOL

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I remember one episode where Julia's son Payne gets married and his wife is pregnant- is that baby ever mentioned again? You would think that Julia becoming a Grandmother and being a  Mother-in-Law would be a future plot point. I sort of gave up on the show in the post Suzanne years, however.

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In an interview in TV Guide during the run of the show, Smart said that she never thought of Charlene as stupid, but yes, naive. "She's a true believer," Smart said of her character. And it's true that she was gullible, but she loved finding out things about just about any subject, and often startled her friends with what she did know. That she tended to believe the best of everyone, and that, in spite of her deep religious convictions - or perhaps because of them - was loathe to judge (e.g. her hometown friend who grew up to be a successful madam), I think made her a more appealing character. And the fact that Bill - well-educated, well-bred - was truly enchanted by her, indicated that he saw real depth to her.

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I remember one episode where Julia's son Payne gets married and his wife is pregnant- is that baby ever mentioned again? You would think that Julia becoming a Grandmother and being a  Mother-in-Law would be a future plot point. I sort of gave up on the show in the post Suzanne years, however.

Payne comes for a visit in one of the later episodes and mentions that his wife wasn't pregnant as they had thought and that they were splitting up.

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That was in S6 (Payne Comes Home).  I don't remember it that well, but in my defense all I really remember from that season is the opener, Carlene's Apartment, Mamed, "Which one of you bitches is gonna be my woman?", and the second Vanessa.

 

It's so un-pc, but I swear, Bernice singing "Black man! Black man! Where have you come from? Black man! Black man! Where have you gone?" is never not funny to me.  Anthony's face the first time she sings it is priceless.

 

To this day I have no idea where the hell that ditty came from, but I kinda love that the final scene in the entire series--BSC as it was--was of Bernice singing it to Anthony as he carried her away.  In hindsight I would probably have sold a kidney to have had it be Anthony daydreaming about Suzanne, but oh well...

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I loved Charlene in the first episode with Monette, when the other ladies were trying to tell Charlene what Monette did for a living and one of them said she practices the world's oldest profession and Charlene asked, "Monette's a carpenter??"

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Smart really packed a punch with the littlest of dialogue.  One of my favorite Charlene moments happens in the Big Circle when Julia tells her she's cancelling the cruise to take care of little devilchild Randa Oliver.  Charlene's simple response "Julia." was complexly expressed and said so much.  I've been a fan of Smart since then and have followed her wherever she showed up.

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One of my favorites is when they go on the wilderness trek, and everybody does great except Julia and Mary Jo, who call Anthony to come get them. When the guide comes to their tent in the morning (set up where it's not supposed to be, I think), Anthony wraps up his head in a cloth and pretends to be a woman. The guide asks him who let him on the bus, and he says, "Some white girl." My husband and I still say that to each other when one of us asks who did something. We just don't say it to anyone else because I don't think anyone else will get the reference (and we're white, so it might be weird, too). I'm always disappointed when I realize no one else will get it.

THanks for making me laugh!

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I have always loved that Jean Smart married Richard Gilliland, aka J.D. Shackleford (who I have loved since he played Laurie in a late 70s NBC adaptation of "Little Women") after meeting on the show. 

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My favorite Charlene moment was when Julia was insulting the Rocky films as being below par and not oscar worthy.. and Charlene just let her have it in a very matter of fact way.. then apoligized sweetly for going after her like that but that no one insults Rocky.

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One of my fav episodes is the one where Julia serves on jury duty at the same time as Charlene and Suzanne compete for the shopping giveaway.

 

All four of the original women were different from each other, and you could get comic gold no matter what pairing you did with the four plus Anthony.

 

Suzanne/Julia:  Stranded in Japan.

 

Suzanne/Mary Jo: Man-hunting

 

Julia/Mary Jo: Stuck under a bed as their client is making love to his wife with just jams to eat.

 

Charlene/Suzanne: Banding together to confront the head of the porn magazine.

 

Julia/Charlene: Charlene educating Julia on the oscar worthiness of Rocky

 

Charlene/Mary Jo: Trying to write a children's book

 

Mary Jo/Anthony: Running up a 400 dollar phone bill

 

Suzanne/Anthony: Stranded at a motel during a blizzard

 

Charlene/Anthony: Dressing up as Santa

 

Julia/Anthony: They had great heart-to-heart talks.

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JAYJAY1979, those are some great moments--some of which I'd forgotten about.  Like the shopping give away.  "Cash register!"  hee!

 

 

 

Julia/Charlene: Charlene educating Julia on the oscar worthiness of Rocky

I have a soft spot for Rocky and Sylvester Stallone, so I loved this scene!

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Charlene knew all about Rocky, lol.  I loved when she would set the so-called "smart" two straight on things,

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Not to mention her fellow Arkansan Sam Walton. IIRC, she was the only one who knew he was at that time the richest man in America.

 

Needless to say, Suzanne was impressed.

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Ha!!!!  I love that one, WhitneyWhit!  My BFF and I are Designing Women addicts and I always write that on my cards to her (no matter the actual occasion LOL) and address it from Helen Van Patterson Patton.

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When he [Dash] had a little class for them, he asked them to describe someone in the room.

 

I liked Mary Jo's, referring to Charlene:  She would have dated Lee Harvey Oswald in high school.

My all-time favorite episode has to be the one where Mary Jo considers breast enlargement:  "Be honest, would you have come over to us if my breasts weren't so big?"

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Charlene knew all about Rocky, lol.

 

I loved her rant when someone made a comment about being like Rocky and winning:  "ROCKY DIDN'T WIN.  Not in the first film! Nobody remembers it right!"

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The breast enlargement episode had some great lines:

 

Mary Jo; These things are power!

 

Julia: Suzanne's had those as long as I can remember. She was born with them. Mother and Daddy and I used to sit around and just stare at them. It's just the spin of the ole' genetic wheel. I think I've been amply compensated.
Charlene: What's that mean?
Mary Jo: It means Suzanne got the boobs, and she (pointing to Julia) got the brains.
Suzanne: I don't think I like the turn this conversation has taken.
Mary Jo: Oh, c'mon big boobs/tiny brains, it's a story as old as the hills. I didn't write it.
Charlene: Mary Jo! I cannot believe you would even repeat that!
Mary Jo: Oh, I'm just kidding. It's just the Littlest Angel's way of kind of evening the score.
Suzanne: What's this Littlest Angel stuff anyway?
Mary Jo: It's the name of a training bra, Suzanne. I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that.
Suzanne: A training bra; you little people have to train yours, and you call us dumb.

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This is probably one of those lines that's funnier because of the delivery, but I always crack up at this:

 

Charlene: I can't believe she's doing this! Mary Jo, did you know that A Pan Am stewardess had hers done and they exploded during takeoff?!

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I loved Julia in the Miss Trial episode.

 

JULIA: Alright, that's 7 to 4; who didn't vote? (woman raises hand) Well, Janice, what is the problem? Did you intend to mime your vote?

JANICE: I'm just not comfortable making a decision yet.

JULIA: I see. And yet you are perfectly comfortable smearing your face with white grease paint and annoying pedestrians all over Atlanta. Interesting. No really, Janice, I think it's time you came to a decision. As a matter of fact, I think it's time you all came to a decision. We've been here almost three days, and apparently you people have nothing better to do then to sit around here hogging up the tax payers' money, eating baskets of friend cheese, and staying at the Fair Price Motel. Which, I understand some of you think is the nicest place you've stayed in a while. (the "no-lip woman" fumes) Well, let me tell you something, it is not the nicest place I've been in a while. And for your further information, I'm having dinner with a former president and first lady of the United States tonight, because we are all going to be out of here. And the reason we're all going to be out of here, is that this case is very simple. Did any of you listen to the judge's instructions? He practically told us to acquit. The case is frivolous! The defendant was not negligent. Case closed! Q.E.D.! Over and out! Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more! Go up to the table and mark your ballets, and if you don't mark them right, I'm going rip that fire extinguisher off the wall and blow your over-fed, under-read, simple- minded butts out onto the Fair Price Motel parking lot!

NO-LIP WOMAN: I don't think jury members are supposed to threaten each other. I don't appreciate that.

JULIA: Oh, really? Well, I don't appreciate you leaving you big 'ole box of June Allison bladder pads on my night stand for all the maids and bellboys to see! Of course, you don't care if you never get out of here; you don't even have to get up to go to the bathroom! Now, I am passing these slips for the final ballet, and I want to tell you right now, read my lips: Mark your slip wrong, and I will wrap it around a fried cheese ball and shove it down your throat!

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