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Brandon Hantz. I think because Philip would not feel safe. I know Brandon was Section 8 and then some, but I would've supported him physically tearing into the Special Agent. ETA: I would not question Varner's spine if he doesn't show. That would be about Zeke, not him. Like I've said, he should go away for a long time.

Aw, I like her. Or at least I get her crazy. Funny to think that the audience would hate somebody so much, they'd storm the stage, grab Debbie, and huck her. And that probably wouldn't be the first time that's happened to Debbie. Everything has happened with her.

I'm going to say it now: I cannot see Jeff Varner coming to the Reunion. If he has a brain, he would not show up. I do not consider him to be anywhere near the upper echelon of assholes showcased on this series, but he wouldn't just be booed. Debris would be thrown at him. Of course, Probst will talk to Zeke about what happened, even if he winds up winning, because the host will need to make three minutes super awkward. But Varner should not be present. I'm thinking he has to move to another continent, where nobody has even heard of Survivor, and try to do good to atone for his stupid, stupid mouth. With that said? He'll show. And we'll get the most uncomfortable five minutes in Reunion history. Don't forget, that includes going over Hatch grinding on Sue in S8, with Rob Cesternino the only obstacle to a potential bloodbath.

"We're now looking at the new Nuku tribe. Varner left for personal reasons." "Oh my God. What happened?" "I'll take that, Jeff. It was the damnedest thing, Cirie. He managed to lodge his foot in his mouth, and then he shoved his head up his ass. Billion-to-one odds. Billion-to-one." "Damn it, Debbie . . ." Maybe the pizza affected Jeff mentally? Okay, probably not. I'm thinking it was locally made . . . or maybe there was markered tape on the bottom of the boxes, so that the players would know about the show's new sponsor: Papa Hut.

There was a pug gathering in Nashville last weekend. I know because the Pugdashians made the trip from Portland, ME. Looking at it, I think their human needed an excuse to put cowboy hats on them. Here's a cute bit with Paddington eating eggs. I really hope he's doing okay. He looks like the biggest sweetheart ever.

Nice to see that a Cheryl by any other name is just as insane. Of course Charlotte would be lugging a dead maid around in a car trunk. Why not?!? Welcome back, Mr. Tambor! And nice job with the Forties gangster accent. Also, nice to see that Dutch/Barry is still the universe's punching. If we don't get to see conversations between "Dutch" and "Other Dutch," I will be disappointed.

Wow. I wish to campaign for that to follow the movie when it comes out on Blu-Ray and DVD.

Well. That happened. I don't think Varner should get punished, because he basically shoved his neck into the guilotine. If he goes off the grid for a few years, I would understand. This was a man who had never made the jury, and he tried to roll Zeke under the bus in the absolute worst way. Jeff. What the fuck?!???!? If he didn't change his e-mail address and social media accounts, he's probably going to get a lot of letters from past contestants who feel they are now off the hook. Hatch, Russell, Naonka, Colton (he might no longer the most despised gay cast member ever), Kyle Jason & Scot Pollard . . . and if he can get online from prison, Mike Skupin. "I murdered a piglet on national television, and I ain't the worst part about The Australian Outback! THANK YOU!!!!" Seriously, what the fucking fuck, Varner??!? He's gotta go into the cornfield. New name, new job, new everything. As long as we don't have to watch it happen, I'm good. That said, that will take up at least five minutes at the Reunion; three if he doesn't show. And I like Zeke. He's okay, and I didn't have a problem with him last season. I just liked David Wright more. Ozzy isn't going anywhere. He's not a monkey that likes the water. He's an amphibious monkey. Awesome in the trees and under the water. If he wins, I wouldn't throw shade on him like I did with Rob. Rob didn't make the jury half the times he played. "Metamorphosis," and then that happened. If Burnett has Minority Report dudes in his employ, I wouldn't be surprised. And I'm surprised that Probst could stand up to snuff Jeff's torch. Massive drama boner. How bad did Varner fuck up? He pissed off Tai!!! I didn't think the guy had a boiling point. Also, no captions for him this week. Quite an episode from Mr. Trang.

Heh. Even if Trevor knew that going in, I don't blame him or his friend for those faces. Only thing missing was Roy next to them, muttering, "This is some bullshit. Right, African?"

From Cheezburger: 23 IASIP memes. Needless to say, "implication" is used a lot. ETA: From Film Rader: an analysis on what makes Sunny work (season 12 not included). I would've thrown in "old-timey music" and "natural evolution in post-Seinfeld TV, with bigger assholes in a city harsher than New York."

I did a Match meetup once. Felt so out of place. I have an account with Meetup, but I don't know if they have dating-inclined stuff. Oh, and I did a group date thing at New York Comic Con a few years ago, and nobody picked me.

Liking the arc, even though it's The Matrix with a single Agent Smith running things . . . Aida. Or is it "Ida"? She hates that "A." Is Mace trapped in the Mainframe? I didn't keep notes. On the other hand, I like Conspiracy Dork Coulson. He is so cute, especially when fanboying over Mace's suit. I'm guessing Captain America wasn't a "thing" in this world. And Fitz is totally evil, and the actor is rocking it hard. I like Hope. Is it too much to ask for the actress to get big glasses and be cast as Lunella Lafayette in the Inhumans series? I'd totally understand if the show couldn't give her Devil Dinosaur due to budget concerns. She can do precocious and smart so well. More guilt upon waking: Fitz or May? Those Hydra goons really went to town on Daisy.

Speaking of OKC, I'm not meeting anybody. Does Tindr ask for money? More importantly, could I get something more than a casual hookup from there? I mean, that might be nice, but I don't think I'm an ONS kind of guy.

I kinda want to punch somebody. And apparently, so do Nelson and Corey. I know Nicole is tough for some people to take. I get that. But what Smashley and Amanda pulled was bullshit. Teaming up was probably not against the rules, but it was a violation of the spirit of the game. Punk move. The funny thing is that Nicole was clearly stronger than both of them, the way she tugged them back. Smashley got to advance, but Amanda came up short against Nicole. Good. Fuck Smashley and Amanda, fuck Shane for telling them to team up . . . and fuck TJ for saying he was disappointed in Nicole in the prior mission, even though she probably did th puzzle faster than at least two of the guys, if not all four. Damn, I am mad tonight. Also, I feel for Jenna. Watching her get eliminated was like seeing Mike getting voted off BOTS2. She always makes the final. And then those two heifers shit-talked about her. I can take Jenna. Those two? Not so much. Hunter gone? Whatever. AYTO can go screw. At least he dodged a bullet with Smashley. He might be an idiot, but he doesn't deserve her. Loved Darrell talking about the "Seh-doo-doo puzzle." This is why I've dubbed him "Pootie Tang" all these years; because he abuses the language like most of the rookie guys abuse themselves. Hoping Shane pulls through, even with the stunt he pulled on Nicole. He should do one finale mission before retiring for good.

I know, right? Where is Trevor during the holiday week? I would hope Comedy Central would invest in a mini-studio wherever Trevor lives, even if they have to build one in South Africa when he's visiting family. I am liking the idea of "A Moment Of Them." This isn't the best TDS team ever assembled, but there's a lot of potential. ETA: Ronny Chieng in Chinatown for the win. And I'm hoping Hasan's post-election concerns gets aired on Thursday.

Attention Mets fans! Tune in to SNY. History might be made tonight. After yesterday, I can't say what it is. Not a no-no, but something that might be more epic.

As Invasion Of The Champions enters its home stretch, we are guanteed two things: fucking Johnny isn't going to win this time, and Bunim-Murray Productions is getting the ball rolling on the thirtieth season. Think about that . . . remember when this was basically Circus Of The BMP Stars, and not a contender for America's fifth major league sport? And now they're hitting season #30. Yet another reason to pull the plug. Same rules apply as S29: this is for casting speculation and spoilers only. No results spoilers! The rest we can figure out as we go. There has been speculation on Vevmo and Facebook, but I usually go with Stop Being Polite. This is their first S30 article. I'm thinking it will be updated as the rumors die down. As you can see, we got a lot of usual suspects, including fucking Johnny Nolife and Aneesa, whom I like more than Beth but probably has the same chance of winning as her. There are a few names that look inoffensive, like Shane (did he come up short yet again?), Darrell (still looking for win #5? Looking to tie Johnny?), LaToya, and DJ MazzaRobbie. Also, Nicole from Skeletons is in the "maybe" pile, which surprises me since I heard she was one-and-done. And we get a lot of new headaches thrown in from AYTO, Stranded With A Million Dollars and The Real World, including fucking Chris and Dylan from Go Big Or Go Home. I mean, nice that Dione and his friends are probably doing more embarrassing shit that following Insane Clown Posse, but they both sucked. Where's Ceejai and Sabrina? Probably fearing a return from Racist Jenna (in contrast to Poor Life Decisions Jenna). Oh, and the first comment suggests Teege will be replace by a "Vitor Cruz." I think that person meant Victor Cruz of the New York Giants. Any reactions and/or new sources to feed us during the wait for S30?

My theory: not enough comments asking for "Rouge One," so Screen Junkies swapped it with Tokyo Drift. That would've been logical to run this week, since Fate of The Furious comes out this Friday. "Iamonewiththeforce, theforceiswithme . . . " "That's not how the Force works!!!" Great end scene.

SBP posts speculation on S30 cast. I will set up a thread on that soon. In the meantime . . . no real delightful surprises, I'm afraid. Just a lot of has-beens. assholes, and idiots from other shows I'm not interested in watching.

I was so close on the final title, you guys! And damn, I didn't know a lot got cut out.

Anybody up for a road trio to Hartford? Ho. Lee. CRAP. I'd probably have to go without food for 24-48 hours beforehand, but it would be worth it.

Will this do? I'm hoping a gang of mascots doesn't try to break Thor's arm at the All-Star Game. I think the San Diego Chicken would come out of retirement just for that job.

I like Snarky Jack. Also, Snarky Phantom Jack. "Well, that's that. Let's get out of here." Also . . . did Jack and Ashi more or less jump out of a creature's rectum? Nice to see that Jack still can jump good.

Didn't the first night game at Wrigley get postponed?

I read that. What does that make R.A. Dickey? Or are knuckleballers never considered ancient because their arms are equivalent to pitchers in their mid-30s?