Toaster Strudel

It has got the be the "improved" version. Only in the Twilight Zone are investors dropping a quarter mil for someone to have a baby.

What, they got money???? I'm going to erase this episode unwatched, I don't want to lose my lunch.

Please let it be a fiasco. As long as it's a fiasco. I want to see them fail.

I've been switching off after the monologue. Fred's off days are too numerous.

I'm 5 years old and I'm still laughing at "hallowed halls of poultry pugilism."

Breaking Bad meets The Wire's Omar! I've never seen an episode like it. A multi-millionaire drug wholesaler (Donovan Anthony Reid) living a double life, cops cracking a safe's combination, a cartel revenge killing, finding an actual suspect with good fingerprints, and burglars that target drug dealers! And he sure had a long "career." http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2013/09/feds-slain-dallas-man-had-900000-stashed-in-safes-28-million-in-narcotics-sales-recorded-on-detailed-ledgers.html/ It looks like his window sued for the money in the safe: http://dockets.justia.com/docket/texas/txndce/3:2013cv03569/237195

I don't know about that... I bet it does translate to more sales. I would be shocked if their one-hour infomercials didn't translate to sales. We're here to snark, but many of their viewers probably aren't, and would buy their stuff, moreso if they have a one-hour weekly reminder.

It looks like the free, weekly, one-hour infomercials are effective at getting people to scrutinize their merchandise!

I did jewelry as a hobby and with a re-usable mold you can cast pieces really quickly. If there are delays, it's more likely because they aren't paying the jeweler's bill on time.

Sign me up for weekly freak outs!

I'll eat my hat if Km and FakeHarry even exchanged phone numbers after the show.

This show makes me feel like I have been a witness to a seminal moment in Television Depravity.

I really enjoyed the native costumes.

She was sobbing when Babe booted her out...

From Kelley's LinkedIn: She also worked on "Ellen"

Note how I didn't object to 1.8M mortgage payment, that's totally legit LOL!

LOL that's insane, 2K is overpaying.

FakeHarry has been desperately wanting to boff Karina 24/7 and all night long from the moment he laid eyes on her, he was even playing with her hair when saying his goodbyes. Not matter who slept in the Clown Suite, FakeHarry was wanking to Karina and Karina alone. He never cared for Kelley at all, he's a working man, she's in a mental kindergarten. Kimberley was the boring producer's choice between those two extremes.

Yo I'm a webmaster and typically ONE page view equals 25-30 hits (on my websites anyway). Their website probably has more hits per page than mine do. Every element on a page, every image, and a lot of hidden background stuff contributes to the "hit" number. Let's say 15,000,000 hits, we have (generously speaking) 500,000 page views. Each visitor may view 3-4 pages, at most this translates into 150,000 unique visitors. LOL I have more visitors than that and I don't have an one-hour weekly infomercial on TLC like they do.

No schedule info?

http://time.com/2865837/i-wanna-marry-harry-cancelled/ That's exactly what made it a must-watch for me, LOL. *checking pulse* Some twitters: kimberly_birch onlyANNALISA rosekcopeland TheMeghanJones iammatthicks Maggtoraason thomnom Jacquelin_ruth kelleymandrews (offline?) Cecemariiie This cracked me up: http://kirstenandco.com/i-wanna-marry-harry-episode-2-recap/

In side by side comparisons, FakeHarry is actually better looking than RealHarry.

The show isn't the same without Fred's crazy projects. The monologue is short, then straight to the boring anecdotes... the anecdotes have become dreadful. I'm not Seth Meyer's agony aunt.

Unlike Kelley, Karina the professional sex kitten just knows how to throw herself at a man. Of course she was the best kisser. No small talk, just the bedroom please. I've been counting the number of times Kelley said "whatever it takes" since the beginning and I am at 637. OMG so much tongue! Has she ever kissed anyone in her whole life before? Probs not. Quoting Kelley about Rose: "it's like she's never kissed anyone in her whole life." Another great quote: "When I'm around you, I'm a little kkkrazy." No shit, Sherlock. GERMS! OMG so much germs. Rose is indeed prettier without makeup. Stunning in fact. How good looking do you have to be that makeup makes you looks worse? I can't stand the slow reveal from FakeHarry. "I would.......... like........ for you........... to.......... erm........." -insert ad break-

Maggie got to spend the night in the Crown Royal Whiskey Suite!