Toaster Strudel

OMG this epi was nuttier than a Reese's truck driving out of the factory warehouse. But first. Hey, Rosemary... he's late for one anniversary... yours. He wants to skip a night... yours. Guess whose night he'll "sacrifice" for Nonie-babymaking antics? YOURS! You don't exist for him. Everyone has a doormat, but whoever gives them any thought? I call bullshit on the Buddhist claims. First of all, I'm not seeing too many Buddhas and incense burning, but prayers to JChrist... there's a skunk in the Zen Garden and he's carrying a cross. Brady is starting to show his true colors as, surprise! An arrogant blowhard. He wants his daughters to marry a "progressive" man like himself? You know the kind that treats women as equals and tells them to stop working to do more mothering? The kind who's got the state troopers on speed dial should his daughter be five minutes late from a birthday party, 3 full hours before midnight? The kind who needs to grant permission for hand-holding... but only after the age of 16? All the while he was talking about controlling his daughters, he lost his usual cool, he was ready to bust an aneurysm, his eyes were darting all over the place and his voice was an octave higher. He doesn't see himself if he thinks he treats women as equals. Women are just chattel to him. Babymaking chattel. And Josh is a jerk to volunteer to be his enforcer. Shame on him for participating in the confinement and repression of his sisters. Buddhists my ass. For all the obsessive rule-making and insane enforcement thereof, Brady Blowhard gets mad when he has to bend to the rules of society at large that prevent him from adopting children. I thought his outrage was pretty rich. Thank goodness that some child somewhere is being spared such a father. Brady to his daughter: "then you can't go!" "then you can't go!""then you can't go!""then you can't go!" like a goddam broken record. Society to Brady: "then you can't adopt!" "then you can't adopt!" "then you can't adopt!" "then you can't adopt!". Serves him right. What a flaming narcissist. Nonie got her babymaking contract signed and sealed. Is it me or does it look like these people have the most constipated sex life, ever? She wants a child for the attention it brings and the extra Brady time, probably dipped from Rosemary's account. Rhonda and Paulie are nice ladies. They deserve better, but it's too late. Paulie looks shell-shocked from years of "keeping sweet" - she has the longest record.

I'll never like musical theater. So sue me... but I loved Anna Kendrick. She's a good actress/singer and radiated fun all night long. Colin Jost is really growing into his role. The joke about the hawks taking over the library and attacking everyone that went to the library... no one got hurt... had me in stitches. Cecily just annoys me now. She's much better in skits, her appearance on WU is a big let down. Ady really rocked it. She's definitely settling in. I want her octopus dress, dammit. Someone go steal it for me, there's five bucks in it for you. Fox & Friends was awesome as usual, especially since we haven't seen it in a while.

Mental disability guy wants money not to work but he can renovate a whole kitchen? Both JJ & I didn't like this guy. I think he wanted to scam the show.

Reno Mooch was pretty vague about what exactly he renovated, and who paid for the materials, etc. I suspect he didn't do that much.

Let's see that free house again in a year, shall we? Doug was such a prince. He treated the women like goddesses, with so much love and respect. And a good listener to top it all off. I loved his collection of stuffed threatened species.

Michael Turnipseed? I hope he had the decency to call his son "Kale."

Nico is still there? He's so sloppy. Everything he does looks so... fourth grade.

Sure I'm superficial, but I kept wondering why today's decent looking plaintiff BF was doing with that chinless, Cruella DeVille haired suckling pig. Then the dyke aunt explained: "he doesn't see too good" and still later we find out he's going blind... I feel sorry for him but at least he won't have to see her anymore, that's a silver lining. If I wasn't going to hell before... I have front row tickets now.

Not a bad case today: washed up rockers, grow op damage, foreclosure, a money-making scheme exploiting said foreclosure, trying to move in with tenants, stealing the tenants' car, car chases, assaulting the thief, slashing tires, disability for a brain injury...

Cold open and monologue were marred with sound glitches. Cold open was alright; the highlight was Kate's spot on, yet absurdly exaggerated Bieber imitation. The monologue was brilliant. Is it my imagination, or is Louis CK getting even better than before? Such a good deadpan actor, too. Black Jeopardy had a million jokes a minute, that's what made it work. It was quick-paced and loaded. I love the executive baby... even more outrageous than his first appearance. What cracks me up is how realistic the baby portrayal is, juxtaposed with the dead serious executive talk. The Jos S Banks "Quantity Guaranteed" fakercial was over the top, including the goofy "spills" around the house and the retro-sexist housewife picking up everyone's spills with suits. I gave her a chance, but Cecily Strong doesn't cut it at the anchor desk. I don't know if the problem is unfunny jokes, or her deliver. She was brilliant in the musical number, though. Not enough Bobby Moynihan, dammit. Darth Vader Butt cracked me up, especially the final result where nobody had one up their butts, but aren't they all relieved to know?

She's on the stiff side (compared to, say, Kat Deeley) but I've warmed up to her the few time she lets loose when touring the studio with her dad.

It's less boring than Sister Wives, but of course nearly everything is. What ruined that is the TLC money. Brady and his followers want to move; already I smell TLC money influence.

That "almost-married" division of property case was pretty dull, except that the woman was really hurting and the ex-boyfriend suing her was a tool

Woohoo the snark is back!