Toaster Strudel

Please can someone re-assure me that Paul 2.0 and Karine 2.0 are not together anymore?

I am delighted to hear that they are still together and enjoying what they deserve.

Maybe Citra is there for the oxys and meth? What else does this guy have to offer?

I rate this episode the most boring ever produced in the history of the franchise.

Shades of Paul & Karine... with gender and geography reversed.

Brandan... was his mom constipated when she gave him that name?

The other day I saw a fat turnip ambling around looking lost, and carrying a clunky back pack. Upon closer examination, the fat turnip was Chad! My sixth sense tells me he's got a short fuse, and not a whole lot more in his sloth brain. Whoever likes him right now should enjoy it while the show is still trying to make him look relatively decent.

Raise your had if you'd let a 28 year old be your matchmaker.

You heard it here first: Bilal is going to be like a head on collision between two freight trains that are transporting nothing but dumpster fires.

Jasmine hates Gino but loves that 650K.

Ella and Johny: ★★☆☆☆ This is going to be a real 🌶️ 🔥 hot 🔥 🌶️ air balloon take. Cheating is cheating, and Ella cheated. No question. However, on the Cheating Gravity Scale™, her transgressions are imponderous. Why, you ask? There's a whole bulky planet between them, and there is no way he will ever unburden his load in her heft. They are just two mounds of meat separated by vast distances, SexTiming© while weighed down by moppy wigs, ample dollar store kimonos, and various Day-After-Halloween-Sale banal ballast. Nothing will ever come of it. Johny will never inherit that highly valuable, immense ranch. We have seen episode upon episode of "are you coming?" "no I'm not coming" variations (keep your minds out of the sewer, please!), and Ella melting into tears like butter separating on a hot summer day. The real story is her long-pile rug plumped up with copious dog piss stains and a generous helping of dessicated turds - the remnants of housefly all-you-can-suction buffets. That living, teeming carpet is worth a whole red giant star in the rating. So I say, let's borrow a big skein from grandpa Berkowitz' large collection, and raise an overflowing stout 🍺 of Ella tears to this colossal waste of time! Note: all puns intented. Count them! Hagberly and Use-man: ★★☆☆☆ This transaction between a Nigerian gigolo specializing in services to the American elderly and his client (affectionately known as his prospective girlfriend) has led to vocal dissatisfaction (evidenced by Hagberly's loud complaints, and deeply felt by anyone hearing him 'sing') and deserves a poor BBB rating. From the onset, the "relationship" and its vague, feigned promise of the weighing and considering of plural marriage was never more than a marketing ploy, in the tradition of "Wesley" aka "Jesse." In a way, this is a repeat of Big Girl Lisa, only Use-man has wisened up and streamlined his product. No actual nuptials this time! Payment is upfront in the form of bespoke baubles, hard to find video game consoles and consumer electronics. Is Hagberly nervy? Is she demanding? Is she vociferous? Is she entitled? Yes! Wouldn't you be if your hairdresser refused to pick up the scissors, your dentist denied you checking your teeth, or your rapper gigolo needed to be begged to squirt the mayo? Having said that, no matter the circumstances, boundaries and consent continue to apply, Hagberly! If everything goes as planned for Use-man, his DMs will be flooded with more hags desperate to send him their welfare and pensions for a bit of attention and fantasy. If it panned out for that horse-faced gorgon Hagberly, surely it will pan out for them too. Mohamed made a fortune that way from crones who thought they were better than Danielle and were more than willing to throw coin his way. Zanzibar was boring. The Tourism Bureau really dropped the ball, which is one more ball dropped than Use-man. Klanlina and Kay-leb: ★★★★☆ Sure the racist elf got cancelled but it was amusing for all the wrong reasons. I'm not going toe spell it out for you all. But we're all trotting off to heel hell in Satan's little hoof steps. Mamm'phis? Nagphis? and Quickza: ★★★☆☆ There was a lot to enjoy! Gentle, kindly Hayet and her love of cats and her children, beautiful and wise Rawia, Mamm'phis feeling like she found family. There is a chance that language was an issue, but Mamm'phis looked so alone and disconnected at the center of her own wedding ceremony. That poor girl is broken - it's easy to see why when we see her idiot mother and hear her idiot advice. Marrying someone within weeks of meeting them will always be foolish, but it can work, look at Avery and Omar. But asking your fiancé to promise to sign a document that doesn't even exist, is an exercise in futility. Hamza is right, our girl Mamm'phis is always looking for problems, and creating them by becoming pregnant so fast. He's barely out of his mother's house and being thrown into married life with two older kids he hasn't met, a newborn, and a painful lack of ability to express himself in English. Plus, he has to learn to postpone ejaculation ASAP in order to avoid further public humiliation. The Unhappily Ever After is going to be lit. 🔥🔥🔥 That Snotty Incel MAGA Mike and Thugmena: ★★★★★ Do we love the shows' editors or what? They sure took us for a ride, first making MAGA Mike appear like a pitiable, harmless simp being taken to the cleaners by a streetwise, predatory woman who lied to him about her ability to have children. He is welcomed with open arms by the whole family, meets the adorable kids, burps, farts, leaves covid-suspect tissues in people's cars. He proposes and Thugmena accepts, probably at her family's urging. A happy ending! But no... the impersonation of dry heaves needs to go back to Colombia to deny the breast implants in person, with feces stuck to his shoes for emphasis. The love story falls off a cliff as we discover than he is a controlling Nice Guy. It turns out, he sought out an economically desperate sex worker from a "race" he considers inferior to better lord it over her, demean her, and trap her with a few rolls of dimes - all the while professing his "love" and that she needs to come back to her sense and recognize that his sorry ass is the "best thing that ever happened to her." Some guy actually told me that once, his voice growing fainter as I watched him in my rear view mirror. I can't even recall his accursed name. Go punch the walls in grandpa's attic where you live with bats that have more attractive faces than you, MAGA Mike! Seriously, you haven't lived if you haven't googled "bat face." it's pretty amazing. Jealousmine and Stingino: ★★★★★ Arrright people, wake up! This is not the romance of the century where a gorgeous, witty (if volatile) bombshell is flooding her panties at the sight of a man so ugly, that ugly is attractive. Jealousmine cares not for this easily-manipulated, porn-addicted, miserly, nasal-voiced, fool. You all saw how drab and witless he is, his toes constantly curling and unfurling in the macerated sandals, his uninterrupted flow of easy yet transparent lies, and deer-in-headlights reaction to just about everything. For your edification: porn-addicted men are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction and are less likely to be satisfied with sexual intercourse. They take longer to achieve orgasm, and need to indulge in increasingly extreme content to produce arousal. That's who goes for Sugar Babies. Impotent men who want the close company of living blow up dolls without the pressure of performance because they would fail. Thank you, Learning Channel. Jealousmine is also a liar. She claimed to hate liars, but there she was, trying to administer a huge suppository to the fan base: a friend signed her up for a sugar baby site and she had no idea it was a sugar baby site. Girl, please! Call Ben if you want designer benzo hobo wine at the romantic Red Roof Inn - you two brazen liars belong together. Are you fooled by her practiced tears and her hollow, over-enthusiastic, and very public declarations of love? I am unmoved. More than an elaborate lie, it's a complete farce, a Broadway musical, and a howling hoot. There is no exaggeration too outlandish. I am a vegan but I need your meat! You are so good in bed, Stingino! Drain those balls! She's not subtle but I guess she needs to lay it on thick to get through to that smut video enthusiast. She knows what she's doing. Ben-zo and Filterogany: ★★★★★ Oh boy this is my favorite story. It's got everything. Suspicions of catfishing A silly 22-yr old overusing filters to devoutly flirt with international suitors for fun and profit Said 22-yr old makes the classic mistake of thinking that religious guys are safer and less crazy than the religiously indifferent or atheists Creepy old, washed out youth pastor Huuuuuge clucking liar, absolutely brazen, I bet some morons believe him every once in a while One half-dead googley eye set in a face like a chunk of tree bark Religious abuse and manipulation of much younger, impressionable and too-trusting religious people His ex-wife and children are rightfully disgusted by him, he makes their skin crawl and they're not hiding it Substance abuse Patronizing restaurants by piously ordering only water Holier-than-thou "helping homeless people at a Red Roof Inn" two days' drive from home, probably to get high meeting some weirdo god-fearing prostitute Relentlessly domineering, angry, and dangerous God justifies his every degenerate, perverted impulse Victim was filmed at secure locations, had her own hotel room, and parents were never too far. Ten page rants His texts to Filterogany show that he was hoping she would knock on his door for sex Victim had to run under the producers' aprons to escape Benzo Ben, and they failed her by not protecting her more pro-actively - though Ben forcefully demanding to lecture her with "His Truth" was TV gold. In Benzo Ben's mental schema, Filterogany has zero agency. God has decided that he will have her, she has no choice, all Ben has to do is to persist until God's will materializes and she submits to him "I must pursue it to the bitter, bitter end." Glorious rejection of Ben as a suitor. Proudly admits to being a sexual predator

It absolutely can, even 10 days after conception. It's more likely that you'll have a false negative if you take the test that early, but a positive is a positive. A woman can experience clear symptoms less than a week after conception as well.

That's because pregnancy is counted from the last known menstruation, not the presumed date of conception.

No 50 yr old looks that old.

That's probably the concerns that Becky was unable to voice to Dr Tolin. Not only that, but Tiffany seems to have usurped Becky's daughter's affection from her.

Also true for Alina and SteVen!

The Family OnlyFans.

One gift was a TV; so basically a gift for himself. Natalie called his bluff by taking HER gift with her LOL. TLC tweeted during the show that she also took all the food with her. Judging by the much-touted, but depressing Thanksgiving spread, the Christmas food was probably sandwiches with the crust cut off and pickles.

There was even a photoshop where the tip was replaced by Trisha wearing her glans hat.

It's the first time I hear about the Ukrainian tradition of serving watered down barbecue sauce in wine glasses.

It screamed "I never had to learn any choreography."

eh, that's how I cook it, with the package inside.

Sushi logs. It's an Olympic Peninsula thing.

Matt Sharp: "no."

There's fermented coleslaw (the real deal, the cabbage shreds are softened by the process), sweet vinegar coleslaw (cheap commercial) and fresh coleslaw (often in restaurants, crunchy and tasting like raw cabbage). It looks like Trash was serving the fresh kind? It's my least favorite.