LilWharveyGal

But, but, but...FELONS! PERSECUTION! BIGOTRY!

ZOMG, @MrSmith, I'm reliving some major preschool trauma over here! For whatever reason, the Mac Tonight commercials always sent me screaming from the room (not sure what that says about Robyn :)), and I haven't even thought of him in decades. Aah, being a kid is funny. Yes, I believe Wynn hit the 3 wife requirement and should be chilling on his own celestial planet now, but I don't recall seeing wife #3 on air beyond maybe the briefest of introductions.

@Sandy W I think you're thinking of Sheryl, Janelle's mom. Genielle is Kody's mom but both she and Sheryl were married to Kody's dad, so there's plenty of room for confusion! With Annie and Sheryl already in the cult-de-sac, Genielle would be grandma #3 to move in (of course with Bonnie on location at the B&B).

I wonder if Genielle was just visiting or if yet another grandma has moved into the cult-de-sac. Seems to be the plyg wife version of a retirement plan.

Good lord! Janelle posted a picture of a dog on social media recently, so to give her the benefit of the doubt maaaybe she needs the treats to lure the doggy into the tub at bathtime. I'm not as tidy as I should be, but you'd better believe I'd clear all of that crap out, both to spare myself some embarrassment while filming and to provide my daughter with a calming, safe environment.

Meri, Ysabel, and Robyn are posing for International Women's Day.

This episode reminded me how hilarious David and Stevie can be. I wish they had more scenes together.

Yikes, I wonder how she bruised her hand.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Nancy. She has a master's in marriage and family therapy.

My first thought was rice krispy treats, too! I feel like Kody is starting to channel Mitch from A Mighty Wind. (Of course, Kody only wishes he had Mitch's hairline.)

Previouslies: Meri wants to open a B&B. Meri wants to show Kody the B&B. Maddie is pregnant. Mariah, Audrey, and Meri are going to have everyone over for St. Patrick's Day dinner. Meri is wearing her ugly shooties. She informs us that Mariah and Audrey have been dating for 3.5 months. On the couch, Janelle tells us that she knows what Mariah and Audrey, and all the kids, are doing through their social media. Interestingly, Robyn has been removed from Kody's side and shifted to the far right spot on the couch. Meri and Robyn think Mariah is glowing and happy. In Meri's kitchen, Mariah tells us that the kids were never told that she's dating Audrey. Meri directs them to put pesto into something. My Irish great-aunts would be aghast. Meri thinks that Audrey really fits in with the Browns. Audrey says she's excited to spend time with the family and she sounds like she really means it. Garrison, Savanah, Sol, Logan, and Michelle show up, with Kody and some others in the background. Christine tells us that all the kids act like brothers and sisters regardless of which mom they come from. Meri says that this closeness between siblings doesn't always happen in plural families. Madison is about 7 months pregnant and is wearing a very bodycon dress in emerald green. Janelle muses that she doesn't know what being a grandparent will be like. Meri informs the clan that they're having salad, pasta, and rolls. (The aunts would cut her dead.) As the resident evangelical Christian and object of Kody's affection, Caleb is asked to give a blessing. Kody interviews that he likes Caleb's prayers because they're full of gratitude, whereas his own kids are, "trite." As he prays, Christine tells us that she was raised to view all religious outsiders as a threat. Now she realizes that there's goodness everywhere. She has spoken too soon, because Tony and Mykelti just showed up for dinner. Meri shows off a store bought sheet cake that's decorated with a leprechaun, but she implies that the rainbow really stands for... *wink wink.* Mariah cackles. Christine says she'll crochet the girls a rainbow pillow that says, "It's not about being Irish, it's about being gay." Kody tells us that many religions don't include lesbian and gay people, but that he lives his life with love and tolerance. Robyn says that Sol knows about Mariah and Audrey, and Janelle adds that it's not an issue with her kids. Christine is glad they live in a place as open-minded as Vegas. Meri has had lots of questions for Mariah and Audrey, but Christine thinks that's a good thing that demonstrates Meri's support. It's time for another family gathering, this time at Christine's to view Ysabel's x-rays. Christine tells us that scoliosis was picked up on a routine school screening and was confirmed by their pediatrician a little over a year ago. Her spine had a 26 degree curve and they started with the nighttime brace. Kody and Christine hang x-rays up on the window while Maddie and Caleb appear to be cooking in the background. Janelle says the x-ray is like looking at science fiction. Meri says it, "blows her mind." The next x-ray, from December 2016, shows a 38 degree curve. Robyn's mind is blown as well. Ysabel started wearing a brace full-time after the December x-ray, but it hasn't been working. The doctor says that if it doesn't correct, she may need surgery to attach a rod to her spine. Kody finds this idea barbaric. This from a sensitive man whose hair is practically hanging in ringlets. Christine tells us that polygamists don't take their kids to the hospital because polygamy is illegal in Utah. Robyn piggybacks on that statement to tell us they're going to explore alternative medicine for Ysabel. Christine tells the group that chiropractors have a new method called ScoliSmart that consists of exercises. The medical doctors say the spine won't straighten out, but the chiropractors say there's a chance. Ysabel is going to go to a 2-week boot camp in May. Christine says that it may not eliminate the need for surgery, but they're going to hope. A montage of cacti must be getting us ready for another prickly session at Therapist Nancy's. Kody doesn't know why they're meeting with her, and says that Nancy's helpful but he wouldn't voluntarily choose to go to a session. As Kody and Meri leave their SUV and head into Nancy's, Meri tells us that she wanted Kody to go see her grandmother's house in Parowan, but they've been struggling for quite a while. I'd like to see my grandmother's Bailey's bottle right about now. Meri tells us that they've both been so busy and away from each other's space that it's even a big dill that they drove together. They settle into Nancy's office and ugh, Meri is wearing the shooties again! Kody sums up their last session where Nancy recommended that Kody and Meri just try to be friendly, and he says that they went out to dinner afterward to talk about things. Nancy asks about dinner. Meri says it was friendly and they talked about the house...and oh by the way have you heard about the house, Nancy? Meri hijacks the session to launch into the story of the house. Kody tells Nancy that he has agreed to go see it, but that he and Meri are not in the same place about actually buying it. He thinks it would overextend the family and be a bad risk, and he wants Nancy to teach him a way to say no nicely. Meri tells Nancy that she wants to buy the house and possibly run it as a B&B, but she doesn't really have the time for that so she'd move her mother down. They re-hash the financials. Meri's bottom line is that she really just wants the house. Kody says that he and some of the wives look at the "big pitcher" for the whole family, but some, *cough* Meri *cough*, do not. His position is that if Meri has the money she can do it, but if it won't turn a profit and help the family she shouldn't ask them all to buy it. Meri says that this still feels like a separation where she's being told to go do her own thing. She thinks he's telling her, to, "do life alone." She adds that maybe this relationship isn't the best thing for her. After the break we're still at Nancy's, and Meri says that it feels like she and Kody are leading parallel lives that don't intersect at all. Kody says that he and Meri have failed to take care of their relationship and it's only platonic at this point. In the office, he mentions that apart from the financials his biggest concern is the new law in Utah that's against plural families. He doesn't want to be in a position where Utah could confiscate his property. Meri tells us again that in Utah they are felons. Kody says they could safely own the house if he's not sleeping in Meri's bed there. In other words, he says, Meri could safely invest in Utah, but Kody could not. Meri tells Nancy that Kody's willingness to see the house is, "huge." He says he's open to see if they can figure it out. Meri asks Nancy if she can accept that statement or tell Kody that she needs more. Meri gets choked up as she says she wants full emotional support. Pardon my cynicism, but I think the word she's really looking for is financial. Kody is not ready to go into a deep, intimate relationship with Meri. He feels like during the past 3 years they were burning the bridge between them to the point where he was done with the relationship. He thought Meri was choosing to leave them during the Catfish saga, and that now she's free to choose what she wants to do with her life. They can rebuild the bridge, but, he reiterates, he doesn't want a romantic relationship. Let's save the bridges and burn the shooties! Meri would like the trip to be an opportunity to get to know Kody again. Kody says that he and Meri would never have lasted 10 years without plural marriage because it gave them purpose and direction where they weren't always finding that with each other. Meri thinks they might not have had these issues if they'd been alone as a couple. Nancy tells them that if they both go through the grieving process they might find a new tenderness for each other but it may not be passionate. We're back at Christine's and Ysabel tells us about her scoliosis screening at school. Christine helps her put on her brace as they prepare to visit the orthopedic surgeon. Ysabel tears up as she talks about having to wear the daytime brace. Her advice to other girls with scoliosis would be to embrace the brace because it doesn't define who you are, and it will make you stronger. It's been two months since her last x-ray and Christine is hopeful that the brace has been doing its job. Dr. Jonathan Camp greets Ysabel, Christine, and Kody. Ysabel voiceovers that having scoliosis is not good, but it makes her realize that other people have it harder. Dr. Camp notes that the curve was at 38 degrees, and that once that reaches 40 degrees the brace can't really provide more help. Surgery is generally done at 50 degrees. Kody brings up the possibility of other treatments, and Dr. Camp says that PT hasn't been shown to be helpful. Christine tells him about the boot camp. Dr. Camp is not opposed to that and thinks that core strengthening could actually be beneficial. They take a new x-ray which Dr. Camp reviews with a protractor, and Christine says that every time he takes out "that tool" it's bad news. He calculates the curve to be at 40 degrees today. "The brace isn't doing anythingk," says Christine sadly. Kody adds that surgery looks like the inevitable choice. Christine is worried about an ugly scar showing when Ysabel goes to the beach, or in her prom or wedding dress. She breaks down on the couch. Back at the doctor's office, Kody gets verification that surgery wouldn't be performed until the curve was at 50 degrees. Dr. Camp says that even in a worst case scenario where the curve progressed a degree a month, that would still give them almost a year. Kody and Christine hope to exhaust every option before surgery is needed. Now we're at Janelle's for Axel's Jack-and-Jill (ie coed) baby shower. By the way, the adults on the couch have changed clothes and Robyn is back by Kody's side, so all is right with the world. They tell us that the shower has a hunting theme. Kody has never been to a baby shower before. Janelle is excited that she'll have high priority with Madison's baby because she has to fight for a chance to hold Ari. Maddie is wearing another bump-flaunting dress. She says that the next person to ask if she's having a 10 pound baby or twins is going to get punched in the face. At the party, Tony gives a gift to Caleb which Mykelti inexplicably takes away again. Kody is, "not in charge of this gig," but he stands up anyway to announce to everyone that today he's only answering to Grandpa. Aspyn and Maddie's friend Desi then blindfold Kody and Caleb and give them dolls to diaper. Duct tape is also involved. Kody wins the game. Caleb models a camo diaper bag. Janelle opines that this baby will be very spoiled. And now we're in Grand Blanc, Michigan, for scoliosis boot camp. Robyn is hopeful about the boot camp. Ysabel interviews that some days she wishes she could just get the surgery and get it over with. The boot camp has measured Ysabel's curve at 45 degrees. Their exercises are meant to retrain neurological muscle memory. On the couch, Janelle reminisces that Ysabel always had a strong force of will and would, "give Christine hell because she wanted Kody around." That's just sad, and I'm surprised that's the example Janelle would put out there. Ysabel puts on a "suit" that's supposed to help her body recognize the curve and fight against it. Kody compares Ysabel's experience trying the suit to the first time he told someone he was a polygamist. Pardon my Irish, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Ysabel loves the suit much more than the brace. The family meets another patient named Mariana. She's been going to the boot camp for a couple of years. She and Ysabel chat and do some exercises together. Kody thinks that having a peer will help Ysabel stick with the exercises. Back in Vegas, Maddie and Caleb are preparing for an ultrasound. One of their wedding dreamcatchers is hanging on the wall. They roll up to a place called Baby's First Image. Maddie tells us that she's planning on a home birth because birth is more natural than the U.S. makes it out to be, but she will have a midwife there. Robyn pops up to tell us that there's nothing wrong with a woman having her baby in a hospital, but nothing beats a home birth where your mom and stepdad and their giant camera can sit right in the splash zone. The ultrasound shows that the baby has a lot of hair and male appendages. Caleb thinks the baby has a temper because he gets upset when you poke at him. Maddie says that Axel will need his space with all the Browns wanting to get in his face. On the couch, the adults confirm that they'll be all over the baby. Back at the appointment, Maddie and Caleb see a 3D view of the baby's face. Maddie thinks he looks like Caleb. Their plan is to have 3 or 4 kids about 2 years apart. We're back in Michigan again, and Kody and Christine are leaving Ysabel at the boot camp while they go on a date to a farmer's market. They look at some lamps made out of metal piping and Kody comments that Meri's really into that industrial look. Christine thinks that a valve on the pipe is the switch to turn the light on, and Kody disagrees. A worker confirms that the valve is the switch, and when Christine gloats Kody says that she can have her choice of two statements with, "three little words." He says she was right, and adds that women would rather be right than be loved. Christine hugs him and says she has both. We flash through early photos of Kody and Christine as Kody tells us that it was fun, fun, fun in the beginning. Christine explains that everything changed when she was pregnant with Truely and Robyn and the family started courting each other. Kody recognizes that it was a hard time but doesn't know why because other wives had always been present. Kody thinks that Christine was blaming plural marriage for taking her husband away and forcing the move from Utah. Nah, I'm pretty sure that's all on you, dude. Kody continues by saying that all of their problems come down to petty insecurity, and Christine can't expect him to solely focus on her because not even monogamists do that. At the market, he hands Christine a rose. Christine says that it sounds ridiculous, but the thing that helped their relationship the most was Robyn. Christine didn't know how to be a friend to Robyn, but Robyn was so loving and phenomenal that she told Christine that she knew Christine was trying. Christine says that people think Robyn's a homewrecker but she's the opposite of that. Back at the market, Christine tells Kody that seeing him with Ysabel has been great. Kody blathers about something that seems to imply he's in a stronger place with Christine, but ends by saying that he and Meri are now honest about the sad and sorry place they're in. They pick up Ysabel who has finished day two. She's going to put on her suit and go bowling. Hearing Mariana's story and starting the exercises have given her hope. Kody wraps up by saying that when you've got 4 wives, 18 children, and one grandchild, you have to be an optimist. They're going home with hope and joy. Next week: Kody says Meri's not getting money for the house. But that screaming that you hear is not from Meri but from Maddie laboring in the bathtub.

I actually like this dress much better than Mary J.'s red carpet dress.

Frankly, based on what we're seeing I'm not even convinced that Andrew had feelings for David, but rather an idealized version of David and the fantasy relationship he'd built up in his mind. I think the reality of a relationship with the actual David would have bored Andrew and eventually gone south.

Moira's first scene killed me, from, "mucho dias," to thinking the sonogram was a picture of a ghost. This whole episode was so great.

Step 1: Put the sheet in the toaster. Kiddingk! @xwordfanatik, maybe one of the videos @Absolom mentioned would help. I'm having a hard time putting a clear description into words.

Christine's having trouble with laundry today. (To be fair, I only just learned how to do this last year.)

The wives are really coming out of the social media woodwork today. Janelle's contribution is a picture of Axel playing.

Meri is missing her dog. Didn't she just get back from the cruise? I wonder where she's trotted off to now.

Robyn helped King Sol dress up for school. I don't know why, but it's surprising to me that she was that familiar with Newsies.

I would be shocked if they've had more than 20 guests since they opened.

I'm a little late with my watching this week (sorry!), and y'all have painted such an unattractive picture that I'm even more apprehensive than usual. Well, *deep breath*, here goes. Previouslies: Mariah and Audrey are dating. Meri and Janelle marched, putting Kody's panties in a bunch. We open at Christine's house where Kody is sitting in a fancy office room that I don't remember seeing before. He's agitated and wants everybody gathered up. For those keeping track at home (maybe it's just me), we're back to fall decorations in the house. The director asks Kody what's going on. He answers that their lawsuit will not be heard by the Supreme Court. What lawsuit, you ask? Kody continues - they filed a suit against the Utah Attorney for starting an investigation against their polygamist family. Apparently the Browns needed to be made an example of when they went public and the Attorney threatened to arrest them. We flashback to the very first episode when a considerably younger-looking Kody introduced the wives (whoa, the years have not been kind to Meri, either) and gave a tour of the Lehi house. Meri interviews that they found out they were under investigation the day after that episode aired. Flashback to a cameraman outside the Lehi house, with Robyn saying that press are coming to the house. Janelle interviews that the kids schoolmates' made comments about their dad going to jail. Sheriffs drove by the Lehi house and freaked out the kids. Then we watch them pack up trailers while someone says, "Hurry! Hurry!," and sirens whine in the background. Back in the present day, Christine says that they left Utah because they wanted to live as a family and not be broken up. They filed the suit six months after moving to Vegas, and Kody says that two and a half years later they "won." When she got the news, Robyn contacted polygamist relatives to let them know they were no longer a felon and the threat was gone. But, Janelle tells us, pesky Utah had to appeal to have the decision overturned. The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals rejected the case on mootness since the Browns had moved out of state. Now the Supreme Court has declined to review the case, and Kody says, "it's essentially dead." Christine tells us they're back at the beginningk. The wives are now assembled in said fancy office room. Janelle is especially fired up by the news and wants to engage in some political activism. She voiceovers that she doesn't want to go back to the secrecy and fear. Robyn tries to muster up some tears as she says that the lawsuit was always their one hope. When she asks if this means they can't move back to Utah, Kody responds that they would always be second class citizens. Meri recalls how they signed paperwork about where the kids would go in the event the parents were arrested. When Kody points out that no polygamists have been arrested in the past six years, Robyn and Christine say it's because nobody is as public and such a threat as the Browns. Kody says that Joe Darger's family has been. Joe has suffered persecution and is organizing a march on the Capitol during the legislative session. There's a new bill called H.B. 99 which would target people who are already married and purport to marry and cohabitate with another person. Janelle tells us that this is specifically targeting religious polygamy and is a felony charge with 5 years in prison per count. Kody wants to call Joe to get the date of the march, but Christine is scared of joining in because she thinks the past 6 years haven't changed anything. Kody says this is her old self and asks, "where's the person who's not scared anymore?" Christine explains that her biggest fear growing up was that her dad would be arrested, and likewise doesn't want her kids seeing her arrested. Apparently she's been overruled, because the phone is ringing and Joe answers. Joe's disappointed about the lack of justice, too. Meri repeats that they could be arrested and put in prison. On the phone with Joe, the gents want decriminalization and Kody adds that he wants to be able to run for office. Where did that come from? Has he been watching Big Love again? Christine says that this is bigotry. When the call ends Kody is even more hysterical, ranting how "they" are so arrogant and always looking down their noses at polygamists. He wants the legislature to know that not all polygamists are abusers and welfare fraudsters, etc.; the government actually created those people by making them live in secrecy! Robyn isn't sure about participating because she has little kids. Janelle is itching to go. Christine employs her whispery voice that I don't remember hearing in a while to state that the risk of arrest is real. Kody concludes the meeting with a prayer for liberty and thanks for their "beautiful exile" in Vegas. Christine is sobbing with fear when the prayer concludes. The family is going to visit their lawyer, Ronald Reynolds. You may remember him from the DayunAuroraBreanna adoption saga. Reynolds is an entertainment lawyer and features the Browns on his website along with other showbiz clients. Ahem. Kody wants to have a plan in case that shadowy "they" gets aggressive with the family when they go back to Utah. Meri thinks they will be made an example of because they're felons. Did I miss a conviction somewhere? In Ron's office, Kody explains that the suit is dead and the wives are afraid of going back to Utah. He repeats to Ron that they are second class citizens who don't have the same rights as others and can't run for office because of the "purport" language in that new bill. He wants them to set up a plan for the kids in case any of the adults get arrested. Didn't Meri just tell us that they already did that?! Ron explains a durable power of attorney to them. Christine would choose Robyn, with Aspyn as a backup in case Robyn decides to enter the lions' den and march after all. On the couch, Robyn breaks down as she insists she's a fierce woman who would totally fight tyranny and oppression if it weren't for her little kids. Kody encourages her to let it out, and says that they won't mock her tears. I will, but I'm a mean monogamist. She wishes she could go with "colors flying" and "march the hell out of it." I still don't see any tears. It's time for the requisite family gathering and announcement. There are now Valentine's Day decorations in Christine's house, so the parents have taken their sweet time. A very pregnant Maddie comes in. Kody opens the meeting by asking who remembers why the family left Utah, and Paedon answers. Christine interviews that she wants all of her kids to participate in the march because they are the proof that the Browns are a competent, successful plural family. Kody tells the story of the lawsuit to the kids and explains the plan for the march. Dayton asks how big the crowd would be, and Kody says he'd like to see thousands but knows that other families may be afraid to come out. Christine talks about fear again. Ysabel asks if the parents will go to jail, and Kody answers that they have no idea. Aspyn would like to go to the march. Meri voiceovers that if she had her way (when does she not?) every single member of the family would go. Paedon doesn't want to go. On the couch with the other older kids, they recognize that their parents are honestly afraid of being arrested, but the kids don't believe it would actually happen. Meri is disappointed in Paedon. Oh yeah? Where's Mariah, Eyebrows? (Sorry, I couldn't hold that one in.) Christine wants Paedon there because he's a "protector." Janelle says that Gabe and Savanah will stay home. Robyn has also decided to stay home with temporary guardianship of all the kids left behind. She says that's scary, and I think so, too. Maddie and Caleb are undecided. After the break, Caleb explains that polygamy is against his faith. But, as cheery guitar music starts up, he says that he sees how loving and amazing the Browns are, so he's in. Kody and Christine are touched. Janelle finds it amazing that it's the 21st century and people want to tell her who she can and can't have in her bed. Nobody cares about your bed, Janelle. Kody asks Dayton to consider but says there's no pressure from him or Robyn, unlike Paedon being under pressure from Christine. Speak of the devil - Meri informs the group that she let Mariah know about the march, but that Mariah's response was essentially that it wasn't her fight. We flashback to the older kids being told about the flight from Utah and packing. Paedon says that he went to a very dark place after that for about 3 years. We flashback again to his horrified face and eventual tears when hearing the news of the move. He voiceovers that he took it hard for a long time, and thought that his parents did this to hurt him. Flashback to Logan getting pissy with Paedon over the number of boxes he'd packed. Christine tells us that Paedon has been her angriest child, whereas before the move he was her happiest. She acknowledges that they ripped him away from his life and friends and in Vegas he had nothing, so when the courts dismissed the lawsuit because the Browns hadn't really been injured by the state, that was a lie. "They harmed my boy!" I just...I can't right now. The march is in 2 days and Christine has drawn up the paperwork to give Robyn legal guardianship of her kids. Christine tries again to persuade Paedon to come to the march. He is a firm no, and mentions that he was uncomfortable even going back to Utah for Mykelti's wedding. Let's be honest, lots of people were uncomfortable there. At Robyn's house, which has also received the Valentine's treatment, Christine hands over her checking account information and power of attorney. Christine is thrilled that Robyn is staying behind and will take care of everything. She wishes legislators could see how much she trusts Robyn. Robyn asks Christine to keep her in the loop during the event, because Kody isn't good about communication and Robyn knows she'll be a nervous wreck waiting to hear from them. Dayton will be attending after all. Robyn voiceovers that they have been felons for a hundred years, but there are more plural families now than ever before and they just keep growing despite the lawmakers because the religion is so important to so many people. Uhuh. $cientology says the same thing. It's the morning of the march and Kody greets Christine briefly then goes upstairs to pack. They're both still sad that Paedon won't come. Now Kody pops up at Janelle's and she's got a ton of stuff in her master suite but my eye is drawn to a blond wig hanging over the mirror. Does this mean we're going to be treated to another flash mob performance that'll air in about a year and a half? As they pack, Kody speculates that Utah is coming down hard on polygamists because they're embarrassed by it, and that because of people like Warren Jeffs all polygamists will be thrown under the bus. Janelle is surprised that more families won't take the risk and come forward. On the couch, Christine reveals that she made a lot of phone calls to fellow plural families asking them to march, and got a lot of rejections. Kody thinks it'll look weak if a lot of people don't show up, and especially wives and children. He goes over to Robyn's, where Aspyn sits at the counter drinking coffee so I'm guessing she still lives there. Robyn is apparently not too pretty to cook because she's making eggs for breakfast while she tells us that she's nervous about Dayton's participation. If people start to get arrested, she's told Dayton to grab some of the kids and hide. Robyn wishes she could ask legislators to visit functional polygamists to see how they feel about their families and ask them if they had made their own choices. The women are strong and will tell exactly how they feel. Ooh, let's start by sending them tape of last week's session between Meri and Janelle and Therapist Nancy, shall we? In her kitchen, Robyn tells Kody that she almost didn't marry him because she was apprehensive about being on the show. She had seen her parents live in fear and secrecy. Now she feels mad that so many people won't stand up and join the march. Uhh, pot, kettle? In the street, Robyn and Christine hug goodbye. Christine loads Truely into the car, who has a sign that reads, "No more dumb rules!" The Brown caravan is rolling into Utah, and from the way Kody is talking about perpetual threat I expect SWAT vehicles to suddenly descend from the snowy mountains and run them off the road. Luckily they make it unscathed to a friend's house for a meeting and Christine says there's no fear of arrest tonight. Joe Darger and wives are present. Joe says he's had a meeting with the lieutenant governor. The Dargers want the government to understand that they want to help end abuse but make sure that innocent families are not hurt at the same time. Alina Darger shares that as a teen she was approached by a man in a car who exposed himself to her, but she didn't call the police because she knew the responding officers would come to the house and see that there were multiple wives in her family. Christine then repeats this entire story to us in her solemn, whispery voice. Joe starts the meeting and Christine thanks everyone for being willing to come out. Is she wearing a Star of David? Enoch Foster, who is present with two wives, says he sent out 250-300 texts about the march and most people responded that they were scared to attend. A woman named Angela says that non-polygamist acquaintances have told her they want to come march because it sounds like a civil rights issue. Joe notes that in the past they haven't been very concerned about women's rights, black rights, immigrant rights, etc., but he thinks they need to be inclusive now and stand for liberty in all communities. He emphasizes that they're doing this to end abuse. Kody wishes that people were more able to intellectually separate the concepts of polygamy and abuse. Joe starts going into the logistics of the march and asks if anyone has a song they want to sing, and I'm praying that Christine doesn't pipe up. On the couch, she does say that she's frustrated by the apparent lack of organization and says that polygamists will be too scared to chant. Uhhh, ok. I guess chanting is right up there with toasters in the plyg world. Kody is worried that the small group gathered at the meeting will be the only ones who show up at the march tomorrow. It's time to march and Christine is nervous, but Kody is giddy about, "playing on their turf." Apropos of something I can't discern, Kody says that the Vegas casinos are not as big as the LDS buildings in Salt Lake City, which I'm not really buying because once on spring break it took me hours to stumble through the MGM Grand. The Brown contingent meets up with Meri's mother. Then Mariah, Audrey, and another friend show up. Kody tells them that this is not a protest but a liberty rally. We're treated to Meri's thoughts on her reunion with Mariah. Mariah gets salty over a sign that says, "If we were gay we'd be ok." Caleb says that he's on the lookout for cops. A dapper Joe shows up in a suit and there's some confusion between him and Christine on whether or not she will give a speech. The march begins down some residential-looking streets and the crowd yells, "Families, not felons!" When they assemble on the steps of the Capitol, Joe speaks about the new bill. Kody interviews about his regrets over keeping silent in the past, and how when the family lived in Wyoming (which isn't Utah) they wouldn't acknowledge each other. He says that he never excelled after he became a polygamist because he hid, and that talented Christine and kind Robyn also hid. As Joe continues, some counter protesters begin shouting for no more child abuse, and Joe works their message into his speech. Kody, on the other hand, says that his initial response to those women was that they should sit down and shut up, but that Joe changed his thinking. Donia Jessop then comes up to speak, and she's from the FLDS/Warren Jeffs community. She kept her religious beliefs and now speaks out about the abuses in that community. Now it's time for Christine's speech, and of course Kody comes up to the podium with her. She breaks the mic, and on that awkward note we pause for commercial. When we resume, Christine has procured a functioning mic and Meri and Janelle have joined Kody up on the steps. Christine begins by saying that she just heard about the march (um, in the fall...) and couldn't decide if she wanted to go because she was so scared. She was raised to live in fear, but decided she had to come to help change the laws. When she married, "badass Kody Brown," he was already married but that didn't matter to her because she believed in plural marriage and got to choose the man she wanted to marry. Christine goes on to talk about the lawsuit and how good it felt to decriminalize plural marriage, and how many positive responses she heard from other plygs. The Supreme Court rained on that parade when they chose not to hear the case, but, Christine concludes, "they didn't see us coming!" The group adjourns to the Salt Lake Brewing Company for whatever post-march beverage you can get in Salt Lake City. Janelle voiceovers that she still has trouble sleeping at night, and that she can't imagine how afraid the plural families of Utah are. Caleb congratulates Christine on her speech. Meri thanks Mariah and Audrey for coming. Meri wishes they could see polygamy as a women's rights issue. Logan estimates that 300-400 people showed up. Robyn tells us that Christine called her after the rally as promised to let her know that everything was ok and nobody was arrested. As somber piano music plays, Kody notes that H.B. 99 passed and that their only hope is that the governor will veto the bill. Meri says that it's a problem that the legislature didn't even consider polygamists to be human enough to hear their case. Robyn says that when "sister wives" is a cute term rather than something dirty, she'll feel free. So she named her business after something dirty? Kody doesn't know what's next and says he wants to cry. Next week: Ysabel's scoliosis brace isn't working and she may be facing surgery. Kody and Meri's marriage isn't working and they are definitely facing Therapist Nancy.

Books? Kody?

I'm no Therapist Nancy, but I'm sensing some frustration. :) Perhaps the title refers to viewers risking cardiac arrest.

British actress Emma Chambers has passed away at only 53. I loved her in Vicar of Dibley, but more Americans might remember her from Notting Hill. Very sad.

In Big Air, I just learned that there's a move called the Bloody Dracula. The snowboarders are just trolling us now, right?