Sun-Bun

I'm equally hot and cold on Stassi. I appreciate her humor when it does show up now and then, and I do enjoy her fashion/decor styling and even like her podcast on occasion, but she's been extra thirsty this season and it's just not a good look on her. Not to mention what a demanding drama queen megalomaniac she is overall---I couldn't hang out with someone like her if I tried, especially with the way she can turn on her supposed friends so quickly((lest we forget two seasons ago when she dramatically told the entire cast she was "so over these horrible people.")). Her insane bathroom floor weepy shit-fit a few episodes ago kinda sealed the deal for my overall thoughts on her: bitch be cray.

Baltimore Betty, please don't internalize the snark! I'm sure your home decor still looks a trillion times better than Gretchen's gaudy house of horrors. Just stay away from buying anything mirrored, sequined or accumulating pointless chintz and you should be fine. And hey, crockpot meals are excellent if they're not meals lovingly cooked for slimy Slade. ;) I'll never understand how Gretchen suddenly got all chummy with Vicky after all their epic onscreen battles. I'm guessing it's a mixture of desperation and strategy on either of their sides---you know Gretchen would kill to be back on any reality show and Vicky apparently needs all the friends she can get thanks to her habit of scaring people away. Kelly also hangs out with them now and then, so I guess that friendship still exists. I still think it was pretty shitty how she basically dropped her buddy Alexis like a bad habit back when the cool clique((Tamra and Heather)) started to accept and befriend her. Although the way Heather hosted Gretchen that one time in her master bathroom and nowhere else in her house still makes me chuckle---Fancypants is such a great stealth bitch. The weirdest Gretchen friendship is between her and the "Shahs of Sunset" cast---she actually was at several of their parties they were filming for the show, which makes me wonder how desperately she was trying to make sure she and Slade got screentime. It's amazing she doesn't ruthlessly hang out at SUR hoping to befriend the cast of "Vanderpump Rules" but I guess she's a bit too long in the tooth to hang with that crew.

Hate following Gretchen on Snapchat is both horrifying and fascinating---for one thing, she completely overposts a'la Paris Hilton, especially when she's drunk. She hangs out with Vicki and Lizzy and an assortment of wealthy Instagram-famous housewives. She loves to show off the shit she cooks for Slade in her slow cooker. She's fairly obsessed with the selfie filters. The funniest thing to witness is her startling lack of taste---she just redid her little townhouse((yep, they still live there)), and it's every bit as gaudy and tacky as the last treatment. Maybe I'm just a home decor snob, but when I see anything with "Live Laugh Love" on it and French writing on pillows, I'm automatically giving a side-eye on that basic shit. Just saying, it's very likely that she's one of those folks who has a "Keep calm and carry on" print hanging somewhere.

As goofy and tacky as LuAnn's wedding came off, and as shifty as Tom may seem, I'm still happy for her---she seems so gleeful just to be married and have some real WIFE STATUS again, darlings. She just wanted that big lavish wedding she never really had, so I can understand her wanting to wear a big wedding gown and veil and whoop it up like a young bride. I agree that her wedding brunch dress was a far more chic and appropriate look overall for her, but to each her peach, right? Money can't buy you class, after all. She seems like one of those women who's lost without a man by her side; she was single for a hot minute after her marriage to the Count broke up and a half-second after her long term relationship with Jaques! Hopefully this one is for keeps and I hope she shoves her newlywed happiness into Bethenny's face.

Brittany is my redneck dream, y'all. Seriously, how stinkin' cute is she with her sweet country girl shtick?! The way she gleefully guzzles tequila and just hangs out like one of the dudes, she's my kind of gal. And she somewhat humanizes stinky fartbox Jax too, go figure---glad to see she finds his foot fetish oddly alluring, because seeing him suck dirty toes makes the bile rise to my throat. My husband and his buddies and I actually enjoyed our first ever RV trip to a NASCAR race a few months ago and had a blast because it was just so ridiculously trashtastic; it's kinda hilarious trying out a redneck vacay when you're not remotely redneckish, so I give big kadooze to Arianna for even attempting it. I was the only female on my RV and the booze was indeed flowing and we grilled hot dogs/steak around a fire and talked about sex and farting too. Go figure that the chucklefucks managed to get me somewhat nostalgic for my own recent redneck dream experience. The Montauk trip looks like such a total snoozefest, btw---it doesn't help that Scheana isn't remotely boozing it up, Stassi is being all weird and weepy, Kristen is trying to keep her cray at bay and Katie is just being a boring blob. All they did all day was sit at the beach and drink then go to a bar and awkwardly attempt to flirt at a douchey local restaurant. Which is exactly what they would do anywhere else in the world. Oh wait, the gals drunkenly flashed their "summer bodies" in the ocean while Scheana laughed at them. Mmmkay. I did enjoy the cruel flashback of Stassi at her smugest, back when she thought she was going to marry Patrick and was so "over" everyone at SUR, including the rest of the main cast. Yep, karma can indeed be cruel---speaking of karma, maybe since DJ James supposedly gave up booze for an ice cream addiction he'll get extra fat and develop lactose intolerance. LaLa still sucks.

BooksRule, I'm sorry to hear this. Yes, owning an older house is usually a pricy, all-consuming lifestyle choice. It's probably the main reason I've happily lived in modern lofts/condos my entire adult life: you're financially responsible to a house and are pretty much married to it as an owner, especially if it's larger and older. Between keeping it clean and updated, painting it, replacing roofs, cleaning gutters, lawn care and all the other electrical necessities, it's a never ending expense. Your situation sounds similar to my older brother's after he inherited my grandmother's house when she passed away several years ago. It's a lovely ranch house on a creekbank that she had built back in 1961, but she cut sooooo many corners costwise that wouldn't even pass inspections for today's houses and she never bothered to update the house beyond several paint jobs and roofs over the years, so bro is basically throwing away his cash on a money pit that's more than likely a potential tear down anyway. But he's a sentimental fool who can't bear to part with "his heritage" so he keeps slaving away to keep that place semi-functional. It doesn't seem remotely worth the money/effort he puts into the place as it crumbles around him, but it's his money so I can't judge too much.

Oh I totally praised her for her command of languages since she spoke 3 others semi-fluently. Again, I thought it was a cute little slip in her beautifully bilingual abilities to use the "subtle" word, especially since my dumb American ass only can speak a tiny bit of long forgotten Spanish and some broken French. And that's one of many things I truly do admire about other countries: they stress the importance of growing up and learning second languages as children, something American education is still ass-backwards on finally realizing. It truly makes my blood boil when I see ignorant Americans screeching at immigrants to "Speak English! We speak American around here!!" Dumbasses who barely speak their own English language coherently actually think they have the right to tell foreigners to "speak American"...crazy world we live in, eh?

A Belgian lady I once knew used to always accidentally say "all of a subtle" instead of "all of a sudden." Used to make me giggle until I finally told her why I tittered with delight every time she said it---it just sounded so cute to me because she spoke perfect English otherwise with her lovely Belgian accent. Living in the South seems to lead to lots of random S's added to the ends of words, as well as random R's on the ends. My late grandmother used to always say things like "bra'r" for bra/brazierre or "diarear" for diahrea, so I was always giggly growing up around her and listening to her drawl.

I'm left to wonder if this is this show's final season---the reviews/ratings have been lousy, the breakout star of this show, Caroline S., won't even be living in London anymore((while Marissa will only be there part-time)) and the other gals are just beyond boring this year. Hell, ratty Julia got demoted for whiny Julie and all her Mapperton woes....this just feels like the last hurrah for the entire cast.

I'm down in Savannah, GA now((been looking for signs of any potential reality show filming for the supposed Savannah spin-off SC)), and I actually got to chatting at a popular new bar here with a gorgeous girl from SC who claimed that her fiancé and Shep are friends/former fraternity brothers. She said that when she first met Shep, he tossed her the old Ron Burgundy-esque line that he was "famous" and "kind of a big deal around here" and that he acts exactly the same way offscreen as onscreen and you just can't help but like the charming bastard. Let's hope his "fame" doesn't go to his head then.

I think we can safely say that this is officially the biggest mystery of this entire series thus far: what the Hell happened to Kelly on Scary Island?! Many would say she had a mental breakdown, whereas Kelly went on the record as claiming she had a "breakthrough." Some speculated that maybe some medication/alcohol went down the wrong way((Adderall?)), others just believe the poor woman is simply that naturally nutty. I personally think she's mentally stunted from her teenage modeling years and has cruised by in life getting taken care of by her much older ex-husband and other social connections; she probably cracked under the pressure of filming for some long hours in the hot island sun with a bunch of bitches she didn't like anyway. Sonja, of all people, once noted that Kelly lives in her own happy little world of unicorns and gummy bears, and I tend to believe it as well---must be nice to basically be a sheltered kept woman who relies on vanity fluff jobs and a nice divorce settlement/child support to keep her jelly bean fantasy life fabulously stress-free. The thing I find odd about Kelly is how she's always praised in the press as being this gorgeous, hot model---I always have found her to be a hot tranny mess((maybe she looks much better in person than in pics?)). She's too overly tan and leathery looking, her wonky boob job and square torso just look weird, and she comes off as almost mannish in her voice and features. I also wish she'd wear lipstick, at least---she might look less Kaitlyn Jenner-esque if she'd add some color to her usual drab brown look.

Oh the Tinz vs. Olivia battle was such a great Manhattan society soap opera. It was classic "All About Eve"-style stuff, with the younger and prettier new socialite in town gradually overtaking the grand dame of the scene; the local press loved to play up a possible feud. There was even a huge stink about a now defunct website known as Social Rank that supposedly posted a false email of Olivia Palermo sent to Tinsley and all the other socialites in town, hilariously begging for their forgiveness and friendship((Olivia issued a lawsuit against the site for that email, which she vehemently denied ever writing))--they were constantly pitting their heroine Tinsley against her conniving evil upstart Olivia. Its interesting how Olivia is now a hugely successful model/style media mogul with a fairytale marriage and dozens of partnerships and major campaigns/design collaborations under her belt, while Tinsley has had such a spectacular fall from grace and is now desperately struggling for relevance on a Bravo reality show. And I totally see her starting a Kelly Bensimon-style whackadoodle feud with Bethenny((especially since Tinsley and Kelly are old friends)), acting like she's so above her in her fabulosity fashion crowd and rubbing Bethenny in all the wrong places.

I think Stassi's nasty personality is what makes her so fug, ditto Katie and Kristen---Stassi could somewhat get away with her mean girl persona back when she was still confidently young and hot, but she seems so pathetically desperate nowadays. And she's not gonna age well at the rate she's going. At least Scheana and Brittany seem sweet and harmless, and smug Ariana at least acts sane and rational, therefore they all are far more attractive. And LaLa may have her own weird issues, but at least she seems more fun and laid back than the evil sisterhood trio---it's doubtful she'd be weeping on a bathroom floor after a few too many cocktails, for instance. Scheana was spot on when she mentioned to Katie that she didn't seem happy; I think Katie and her resting derpface will never be happy.

THANK YOU. What a complete waste of money, not to mention how the idea of it comes off as rather tacky and tasteless---it just reeks of desperation to appear classy and refined to me, like new money try-hard. Which is hilarious when one realizes that this is a couple that has Bubba graffiti art hanging in their Urban Outfitters-style apartment. Just saying, if I had a dollar for every cheesy wedding trinket/personalized couples crap I've gotten over the years that promptly went straight to my junk drawer unused, well, I could comfortably pay some necessary bills here. Damned shame that Schwartz didn't have the balls to put the kibosh on Katie's ridiculously pointless overspending---I completely agree with his aversion to the waste of a big stupid wedding. Wish Princess Katie weren't such a bitchy bridezilla idiot; I'd much rather have watched a relaxed and far more low-expense destination wedding((hello, beach weddings are a blast!)) than the typical goofy nouveau riche mess we'll end up treated to instead. But I'm sure her cheetah spots tattoo will look extra classy with her overpriced wedding gown. I just hope they included more of that elegantly refined Bubba graffiti art at the reception!

Maharincess, I truly do feel your pain; I had a friend breakup this past Spring, and as sad as it was((and in some way still is)), it was definitely for the best. Because when a friendship starts to feel like a chore and like you're almost like a prisoner to that person's endless negativity and drama, it's time to step away. I'd been friends with this gal for over 10 years, shared all kinds of fun times and even was her roomie for a while, traveled with her, went to her daughter's wedding, etc...we were very close. But because I drink and she doesn't, I'd often hear cutting remarks disguised as "sarcasm". And because I'm happily married and she isn't, it'd be the same way. And if I befriended or hung out with different folks or hung with people in different social circles and didn't talk shit about them with her, I'd be accused of being "phony." There were always invented issues with her---and I'm an easygoing person who laughs off a lot of bullshit, but it gets too tough to dodge those barbs after a while. We'd had words in the past few years when she claimed I wasn't a good enough friend to her liking, but pardon me if being forced to spend hours with someone at a time((we couldn't just have lunch or go shopping, she demanded an all-day/all-night "experience")) isn't my idea of a healthy friendship. She'd had fights and words with ALL our mutual friends and I was constantly defending her because she came from an abusive family/first marriage and suffers from fibromyalgia, so I tried to be understanding. I even lost a few mutual friends because I remained loyal to her, because they couldn't believe I'd remain good friends with "that crazy woman." When she finally gave me the random pouty silent treatment for a few weeks, not returning my calls/emails/texts, even unfollowing me on social media, until it finally culminated into a long dramatic text about how I was a shitty friend who wasn't sympathetic to her is when I'd *finally* had enough and told her in a polite way to kindly fuck off and get out of my life for good. To be honest, it feels SO nice to have that mess of a friendship out of my life! Life's way too short for pointless drama indeed. It was like ripping off a band aid, but it was so worth it. I hated to have to do that and I still wish her well despite everything, but I'll never allow that poison to infect my life ever again. So do what you have to do for YOU---no "friend" is worth regularly losing that kind of energy over.

Okay, just saw a new little brat to hate on: Has anyone seen that State Farm commercial with a dad and his son(who looks maybe 11 or 12) at a diner? Their waitress there is talking to another waitress nearby about how she's hurting for money and her daughter needs new glasses...the dad then puts down a 100 bill on his check for the waitress and quietly says, "Comon son, let's go." But oh no! Bratling Doucheprince has to ruin the sweet moment and whine, "But dad, aren't you going to get your change?!" Dad then takes him outside and talks to him about how he's doing a good deed. But ohhhh no!! Doucheprince little shit still has to whine to him, "But I don't understand!" to which his all-too-patient dad simply says, "You will." I dunno why that kid irks me so much, but I think his total and complete lack of empathy for anyone besides himself is what gets me. Like the little fucktard just got a nice big diner meal and therefore couldn't possibly imagine a poor waitress needing that extra tip when dad could've just spent more money on his darling son!! Typical spoiled, self-centered little bastard who's too blind to understand life lessons....frankly, I'd be pissed if I had a kid who was that stupid and blind to the struggles of others. But maybe because I was always begging my parents to tip waiters more when we went out to eat because even as a little kid I knew that most of those waiters worked very hard and therefore *needed* the extra cash!

If anyone is deeply unhappy, I think it's likely Stassi. Remember how smug she acts when she has a steady relationship? How over this entire crew she was when she thought she was destined to become that Patrick DJ dude's wife?? Now that she's been single for several years and left desperately clinging to these chucklefucks for relevance on the TV show in which she used to be the queen bee of the cast, it's gotta sting a bit. Seeing many of them settle down with spouses/partners must hurt a bit too. Sure, she has her podcast and all, but that's about it. Meanwhile her looks are fading and the drinking is getting to her and her rotten attitude isn't helping the fact that she's been alone for a while now...I'm sure she has had many weepy bathroom floor moments. And Katie has always seemed rather morose to me, even from Season 1. Maybe it's just her resting bitchface or her angry drunk side, but nothing about that gal seems light or giddy at all. I have no idea why she's seemingly so well liked also because she has the dullest personality and vibe of all the gals on the show.

<<<gleefully raising hand>>> Granted, I somewhat appreciate the kuckoo Keebler elf-looking loser merely for his laughable entitlement issues, but otherwise he and his nasty elf ass can stay off my screen forever. Good lord, I'd forgotten just how unhinged Stassi truly is, especially after a few too many drinks. I get that she's playing her "ride or die" handmaiden role to Katie's royal bride status to a tee, but maybe ramp the bathroom sobbing/ragey caterwauling down a few notches there, psycho. So Scheana is pleasant to the biggest ho at SUR, gossips a bit on the side((probably after a few drinks as well)) and just wants to keep the peace among all parties---who cares? Geez, I'm actually siding with Her Smugness Amazing Arianna more and more these days, and it's starting to bug me less and less---at least Arianna's always able to remain calm and sane at all times and just appropriately rolls her eyes over the ridiculous antics of Tequila Katie and her psychotic bridesmaids. Also, I heart Brittany. She may be a little beefy and dim, but she's way too sweet and kind-hearted for a douche like Jax.

Dear God, Carole's famous tiger-striped Radziwill sofa is absolutely TRASHED at this point, as the article also made a point to mention, as if the included photo wasn't evidence enough...threads, torn edges and rips are hanging off that thing, the fabric is worn thin, it looks lumpy...it's gone from glam to gauche in just three seasons! I know she prides herself on fostering kittens now, but despite them obviously clawing it up when they're not climbing her silk curtains, couldn't she at least rehab that poor couch a bit and show it the loving respect it deserves?! It just pains me to see how much she's let that formerly beautiful sofa take all that extra abuse within the past year or so. Pretty soon her place is going to look every bit as worn out and musty as Sonja's molding townhouse if she isn't more careful.

Thanks to catching her latest Snapchat story, I know that pic of Bethenny/Santa was from Christina Aguilera's birthday bash last night. RHofBH's Erika Jayne also performed for the event. It just seemed so oddly random---I know Xtina is obviously no stranger to reality TV herself, but I had no idea that she's apparently such a Real Housewives fan as well. Hopefully this was actually filmed for the upcoming season though because it looked like gaudy good fun!

I've often heard it's simply because they can't hire enough help these days, sadly enough. Well here's a clue then, big supermarkets: PAY YOUR WORKERS BETTER!!! I'm so tired of hearing about underpaid Wal-Mart workers especially((who aren't even allowed full-time jobs because God forbid the zillionaire Walton family provide actual benefits and living wages for their millions of workers)). It's sad to see though and just shows me that we'll likely have computers/robots taking over these formerly human positions in a few years.

My pet-peeve of the moment: mystery coughing episodes!!! It's been over two weeks now, and the little cough cold I thought I had hasn't gone away but seemingly gotten worse, even with a recent sick day and a dosage of antibiotics courtesy of my doctor. I literally get coughing attacks out of nowhere that last anywhere from 5-8 minutes straight...completely embarrassing and annoying, especially since I'm a teacher and have had to leave the classroom to cough my brains out countless times now. I'm so sick of coughing that my insides are achey and I'm sure both my husband and neighbors are beyond sick of hearing me hack the night away for many a sleep-deprived night. Yet I've tried every cough syrup and eaten my way through two bags of cough drops already...I'm going to a clinic today just to see if maybe I've been misdiagnosed and have bronchitis instead, but man, this is some bullshit---it just sucks feeling like Doc Holiday dying of tuberculosis here.

I personally don't know *what* Schwartz sees in Katie. I've had her pegged as a stealth bitch from Season 1, when she literally just sat there rolling her eyes and pandering to Stassi and mouth breathing between tequila guzzles with her resting Cro-Magnumface. Hey, LaLa *is* probably right that Schwartz could do so much better than her((although he's no prize either))---after all, she's a mean drunk and a humorless nag for starters. I won't even delve further into general aesthetics((cough**bad tattoos**cough!!))... And I loathe their stupid nicknames for each other, right down to that obnoxious wall "art" above their sofa featuring the goofyassed pet names. Something tells me this was Katie expressing her laughable attempt at creative flair, the same sort of thinking that makes her believe she's a successful fashion blogger. That apartment though...is that supposed to be remotely tasteful? They're both in their 30's now too, right?? I just can't understand how they still manage to decorate their place like it's a cheesy college dorm. But then again, having seen Scheana's sequined house of horrors featured regularly((and Shay's repeatedly unsuccessful escapes)), a discount Urban Outfitters-style apartment is the least of their worries.

Supposedly Tinsley did quite well for herself post-divorce settlement and she already came from a good rich family and worked in a top PR firm before then. She wrote a mildly successful novel and also scored tons of endorsement/designing deals around Asia when she was at the top of her It Girl social game in 2005-2010---I'm not sure if those are still going for her, but she had a huge Japanese following at that time, along with fellow socialite Olivia Palermo(("Gossip Girl" had just started showing there to huge success, and the Japanese therefore became obsessed with the Manhattan socialite scene)). She's been living down in Palm Beach, FL for the past few years and that's quite a posh area, so I'm assuming she's doing okay still, despite her embarrassing recent legal battles/fall from grace. Tinsley was just on IG gushing about being so grateful to be back in the Big Apple again, so it wouldn't surprise me that she and Sonja have teamed up---talk about the perfect duo, actually. I'm sure Sonja desperately tried to befriend Tinsley back when Tins was quite literally the toast of the town, so she must be beside herself with giddiness to be in her circle now, a circle also filled with fabulous gay men and drunken single weirdos. All the better if they team up to make Ramona miserable and come up with their own new caburlesque routines. I cannot wait!

I kinda hate-follow Bethenny on Snapchat---I do love to gawk at her snazzy TriBeCa condo and her cozy Hamptons house since I find them both quite lovely and playfully posh. She does seem to over-Snap a bit, but what strikes me the most about her daily feeds is how much time she seems to spend either alone and/or with her daughter, or just with her staff. If she ever socializes or hangs with friends/whatever family she has left, she doesn't Snapchat it too often. Every now and then Carole makes a random appearance((with or without Adam in tow)), but it just surprises me how much time Bethenny spends alone....or *does* it? Maybe she likes it that way. Or maybe she's so insufferable that she has to mostly pay folks to hang with her outside of work. She does appear to still adore her now elderly dog Cookie and just adopted two new little puppies, so I can't hate on her too much just for being such a doting dog owner.