psychoticstate

Honestly, I was going to be out this season but I came back, five episodes in, for Giselle and to watch the Erika/Tom drama unfold. Erika's house was my least favorite out of all the BH Ho'wives. It seemed so impersonal, with no warmth or charm. It didn't feel like anyone actually lived there. The rental shown in the last episode is far more to my taste, although I think it's disgusting that two bedrooms for her wardrobe, shoes and bags are still not enough space. Girl, bye. As someone who has worked in the legal field for more than 20 years, @lasu is right. Whatever Tom got up to, his assistant would know. Maybe not every little detail but the meat and potatoes? You bet. And there's no way another partner, like the president of the firm, or the head of the firm's accounting department didn't know. Tom isn't a sole practitioner. There's other people see those documents, that those documents go through before everything is said and done. If Erika is listed as secretary on those docs, she's considered an officer. She's in deep shit. She signed docs. She can't play stupid and say she didn't read them and just signed. That's no excuse. You never sign a legal doc without reading. Ask Teresa. And if they are buying and selling things during a bankruptcy proceeding, more deep shit unless they have specific permission to do so. I find Erika's "woe is me, Tom was so mean" slant complete bullshit. She was fine with him while he was footing her $40K monthly glam bill and financing Erika Jayne. I also don't believe for a moment they were having these wonderfully deep and insightful conversations until he closed up and she was forced to leave. Bitch, please. I believe that as much as I believe you drove him to work, said "I love you" and then went home and packed your stuff, got on your Huffy bike and rode away. Nope. And you're going to wait 90 days before setting your kitty free on some unsuspecting male(s)? Why 90 days? Is your kitty quarantined? I'd be surprised if Erika's kitty wasn't saying hello to others during her marriage.

I agree that Samuel the cat is the best person on this shit show. Why on earth was Courtney lying behind a concrete divider in an empty parking lot in a pickle suit? Did she think the image of a dead and slaughtered pickle was going to turn Josh on? (Is that even his name? I honestly am not sure because I'm not totally invested in anyone so far.) So Doug has only been jail-free for 40 days? 40 DAYS. Rachel, you need to have a Come to Jesus moment, stat. What's the over/under on Doug being back in jail within a month of his release? Yeah, Brittany, you made a bad situation worse by telling your family Ray wasn't going to be living with you. I'm sure they'll never know! (Especially since this is being filmed and all.) If Stan did put Lisa in his will, he's more idiotic than Daonte. As far as what's in his basement, I'm going to guess it's where previous toupees go to die. Or it's where he has all those kinky sexcapades. #SaveSamuel Nicolle is never, ever going to sleep with Daonte. Ever. She'll keep collecting money and things while giving him an excuse. Did they ever have any jail visits? Is this the first time they've ever seen each other in the flesh? I guess nothing says true love like an envelope full of money (and a pocket kitty named after you). We need Daonte's friend's input on this immediately.

So Daonte considers phone calls and sending money to Nicolle "dating." Okay. He seems nice enough so he's going to end up in bankruptcy and with his heart shredded. I guess at least he'll still have Nicolle, Jr. His friend is awesome though. I hope we see more of him. So Courtney (I think?) the former corrections officer is 30 and has been married 3 times? Girl. You're getting married just to get married. It sucks for you but I'm sure it will up our Friday night entertainment potential. Brittany (sp?) is clearly this season's candidate for announcing to the family she's dating an inmate. After she has gone to a store to buy new outfits, telling the store's employee that her boyfriend is getting out of prison. Do people do this in the real world or is this producer shenanigans? I would think that store employee, after hearing that Brittany is soon to be Mrs. Inmate, is eyeing that panic button and firearm she keeps under the counter. If that old guy has millions, I'm the Queen of England. I think he's using the word "dating" in place of pay-by-the-minute sex calls. Take note, Daonte. This will be you in the future if you're not careful. WTF is wrong with Rachel? She's an engineer so clearly she's intelligent and she makes good money. WTF is she trolling prisons for a man? Girl, you don't need a 7-foot tall tree named Doug to climb; you need a good therapist (and I don't mean Season 1 and 2 Angela from MS) Worse, she's already married him. I think we know this won't end well. I feel sorry for Dougie, who has been caught in the middle of a druggie mother and jailbird father. I hope that Doug won't enter the picture and began demeaning and talking down to Rachel, with Dougie following suit. When Rachel gets a therapist, she really needs to take Dougie too. Did I miss anyone? I can barely remember the names of these people so far. This show is absolute trashtastic gold. It makes me feel so much better about my own life decisions. p.s. - Wanted to add that I find Courtney's story of sneaking in to see her inmate ridiculous. We're supposed to believe that she put on different wigs while she was working as a corrections officer and no one recognized her? I'm fairly certain from having family members who work LE that you have to show ID in order to visit someone who's incarcerated. Did she get multiple fake IDs that weren't detected by the staff? No, I don't think so. My guess would be that Courtney had a coworker who was "helping" her to visit with her inmate who didn't get busted.

Had they seen none of the episodes or just not all? I thought maybe just not all. Regarding Haley -- totally agree. She knew she was signing up for an 8-week "experiment" so to give up on day 4 is something. And did she honestly expect an emotional connection 4 days in? Most people in the "real world" outside of reality tv and MAFS don't have an emotional connection 4 days in. I wouldn't just say her actions were short sighted but very juvenile as well.

Is there any way we can get 2 hours of our lives back for that shit show? Honestly, boring beyond belief and a complete waste of time. We were there for the entire season, we don't need the recaps. And I'm guessing the MAFS-ers don't need them either. Although maybe Chris does (because he wasn't there) and Virginia does because she was lit a lot of the time. I will say that Virginia in her flapper dress looks good. Especially when compared to the clip from the second honeymoon/couples trip where her face looks bloated and broken out from all the non-drinking and the non-stressful situations that were apparently not going on, if you believe Virginia and EriK now. Yep, they are claiming that Virginia really doesn't party, really doesn't drink and they have resolved absolutely everything. Where is Dr. Pepper and Pastor Cal for comment because I still remember Pastor Cal's expression when Virginia said that getting wasted and passing out drunk on a male friend's couch was routine behavior for her. So EriK and Virginia are so totally in love and everything is great but I did notice that EriK had his legs crossed and kept his hands pretty much firmly on himself, not on Virginia. EriK's mom comes out and . . . whatever. Nothing against her, but we really don't care since EriK and Virginia are rewriting history. Ryan and Clara are next and honestly, I think Clara looked better on Decision Day. Ryan isn't wearing that ginormous bow tie but he's got some stupid hat on and his mustache makes him look like he should be working at Farrell's circa 1980. I hate to tell him but it makes him look even more wee than usual. Unlike EriK and Virginia, Ryan and Clara are sitting close and are all touchy-feely. They are still married and they are going to have a vow renewal ceremony (sometimes the kiss of death, like tattooing someone's name on your body. Just saying.) So Ryan still hasn't dropped the L word to Clara (but she's still going to have a vow renewal? Huh?) but under pressure from Host Kevin, Ryan gives in and says it and Clara is literally geeking out. Vincent and Bri are still together. No surprise, I guess. Bri has cut her hair and who can blame her since Vinny likes to come at her with scissors? Or maybe Vinny cut it? Maybe that's one of his 10 jobs now. In any event, it's super cute and she looks amazing. Kevin gives her some mini Spanish test and . . . whatever. This is boring, y'all. Maybe everyone should have brought their pets with them. Then we see a film or something from some girls' trip everyone did (but Clara, who was working) to Mexico. Haley is wearing a stupid captain's hat (maybe she and Ryan should have been matched over their fondness for wearing stupid hats) and she is overdoing the "I am great and awesome" shtick by being front and center (and that includes her teeth). Why didn't Paige receive a message from God to shove Haley into the water? Then the "girls" are sitting around and having a gossip session -- with the cameras, with us and with Kevin. Blah, blah, blah. We don't need to see some never-before-seen footage of Paige saying that her friend was asking her about oral -- anal -- okay, whatever -- with her then-unseen future husband. Somehow I'm thinking this is not in the Bible. And you probably don't want Chris to see this because he'll definitely be calling you up again. So Kevin asks Haley to help salvage Jake's reputation and Haley says that the sex was terrible and that's that. (Okay, maybe not in those exact, exact words but she pretty much said there was no fire in the hole.) She tried, don't you know, to make an emotional connection and a physical one (drunken Vegas sex counts as an attempt to make a physical connection?) but she just couldn't do it. I guess leaving your new spouse in the hotel room while you go out to eat and drink with the other couples and then switching your seat away from your new spouse on the flight home now counts as trying to make a connection? Haley . . . please. We watched the season. Sigh. Then Chris and Paige are brought up and to no one's surprise, Paige took a page (no pun intended) from Haley's book and tried, tried, tried again with Chris. Paige is a dumb shit. Chris talks about himself in the third person and says he's not worthy of someone of Paige's caliber. Well, maybe Chris did learn something on this show. But again, Paige is a dumb shit. Chris doesn't want to talk about Mercedes and Mercedes' Mercedes because it would be disrespecting Paige. Not telling the world that you've hit it twice on the wedding night or that you find your new wife's face ugly -- that's not disrespectful but talking about Mercedes is. You know, the more I see Chris and Paige together, the more I realize they are actually perfect for one another. Both dumb shits. So Pastor Dwight is brought out and despite claims that Dwight and Chris haven't seen each other in ages, they are clearly shopping together because their outfits are soooo similar. They need to take Paige shopping because her outfit is horrific. So while they are fighting, Paige is sitting there with a big smile on her face. Girl is loving it. Again, she's a dumb shit. And like Chris, she is refusing to speak of why she continued having sex with him after he was exposed as an obvious dumb shit. That's okay, Paige. We know why. And it has nothing to do with God, girl. As has become par for the course, Chris gets miffed, climbs on his Huffy bike and pedals right on out of the studio, headed for the parking lot. Like, we couldn't see this coming from a mile away. Why didn't they just go ahead and sit up filming for their portion in the parking lot? It would make his walk a lot shorter. So this crapfest is continued next week for another two hours. I guess we'll get more of the Chris/Paige nondrama drama, as well as Jake and Haley before all the couples will sit down together. If I've said it before (I have), I'll say it again (you know I will). I hope Jake absolutely massacres Haley. I also hope the others MAFS-ers will say something about Haley's so-called nonstop efforts to "try." It's bullshit and they all know it. It will be interesting if the other women call out Haley. They were getting her side of it throughout the "experiment" and now they've had a chance to watch most of the season's episodes so it will be interesting to see what their take is (besides they were a poor match from the start.) I'd like to say that I won't be bothered with part 2 but I know darn well and good I'll be there next Wednesday night for more punishment.

Episode MVP is very clearly Dr. V, who SO ISN'T HERE for any of Chris's revisionist, con artist, whispery, fake crying bullshit. She also wasn't here for any of Paige's woe-is-me, so wanting to continue to be Chris's victim nonsense. So let's start with these two twats. Why were they even present on Decision Day? Wasn't their decision day like a month ago? Actually, wasn't it pretty much when Chris decided Paige was too ugly for him and he took off for Chicago from Vegas? Anyway, did Chris inflict himself on us only so that we could hear that Mercedes's fake pregnancy ended in a fake miscarriage and he could fake cry on tv and have a fake panic attack and then fuck with Paige all over again because Paige showed up looking good and happy? And Paige, who needs therapy more than any person I've ever seen on my tv, thinks Chris has turned some corner and now she's doubting her decision to divorce (again). Girl, the only corner Chris is turning is the corner of Let Me Fuck You Over and How Stupid Are You. Honestly, I'm not surprised this fuckery went on for 6 hours since Chris has a limitless capacity for bullshit and Paige has a limitless capacity for being dumped on. Moving on. Clara looks great and is still under the non-dickmatized delusion that she and Ryan have the best marriage EVAH so of course she says yes. Ryan, looking like some Howdy Doody like ventriloquist's dummy with that ridiculous bow tie (which was nearly bigger than his head), has an expression that I assume I would have should I ever encounter someone in the woods wearing a potato sack over their head and carrying a bloody kitchen utensil. He does not look happy. He stutters all over himself before saying that sure, yeah, he wants to stay married too. The experts pop the champagne -- maybe because they all need to get drunk (I know I do after watching this episode.) Jake and Haley are basically a waste of time, other than Haley wearing her "fuck you" outfit and Jake wearing his "I see through your bullshit" glasses. Jake looks nice but I'm not going to lie. Part of me was wishing he had worn a neon 80s style shirt just to mess with Haley. And maybe some tennis shoes for once. Ha. No exposition is necessary to know Haley's decision because girlfriend can't even be bothered to wear her wedding ring to decision day. Haley tries again to get on our good sides by pointing out how much work she did in the marriage -- I mean, I'm sure it took time, y'all, to call her mother in 'Bama to get the bracelet back -- and even conceded that their wedding night was fun. But she can't help herself and she has to make her stupid faces and eye gestures when Jake is making his statement for pain and suffering. So both say no, to the relief of us and the experts, and then exit stage left with Jake not even holding the door open for Haley. Ha ha. So we already know what EriK's decision is going to be. He pretty much told us two weeks ago. So drunken antics, allergies and 50 animals in bed with him and Virginia be damned, that boy wants to be married that badly. He's sweating bullets though because he honestly has no idea what Virginia is going to say. Neither do we, EriK. That's how drunks roll. EriK not only says yes but he "proposes" to Virginia with what looks like a Jelly ring. It is red or orange to remind Virginia to phone home? Or at least call an Uber when she's preparing to pass out drunk on a friend's sofa? So Virginia is practically chewing her lip off and will soon start on her chin if the experts don't press her for a decision (did she miss breakfast?). She fairly quickly and irrationally says yes and then is super happy because that means that bottle of champagne is going to get opened! EriK is thrilled and happy at the prospect of being a lifetime designated driver. Brianna and Vincent. Brianna is dressed to kill and Vinny looks like Vinny. Both of them start out by saying what annoyed the shit out of them about the other. Bri is a strong woman and nobody is going to put her in a corner, even if they are a good dog daddy and are teaching her Spanish. Vinny doesn't like Bri's tone (but he probably likes her paychecks.) So even after not liking that Vinny doesn't like her strong personality, Bri decides she likes who she's becoming with Vinny and her answer is yes. Vinny has something to say to her before he makes his decision and it's a cheesecake proposal, with the cheesecake under his seat (hidden probably because Vinny is scared of cheesecake, since he's scared of everything else). Bri says she'd rather have a cheesecake than a ring (girl, we need to talk) and everyone is happy. So there's still something like 15 minutes left to the episode, even with the ridiculous amount of commercials. It's so the MAFS-ers can meet up for us one more time. Haley brings Sophie as her "date," but we can all see that Sophie would rather be with Jake. Jake sits pretty much as far away from Haley as he can and still technically be on camera, counting down the seconds before freedom. No one really asks what their decisions were because DUH. I mean, Bri asks Sophie but Sophie has the good sense to say nothing. Paige shows up solo and tells everyone that she and Chris are getting a divorce (DUH part 2.) She tries to explain some of the outright lies Chris was feeding her, about how she was the best thing he never had, and Virginia wants to know what in the sweet hell she' talking about (because drunks have no filter). Paige puts on her little girl voice and says it's Chris's place to spill what he's already spilled on camera and the rest of the group look anywhere but at Paige and drink. Then Chris shows up and everyone looks surprised. Someone must have invited him - or told him he couldn't collect his paycheck unless he showed. He's still on his Apology Tour of 2021 and apologizes to everyone present for subjecting himself on them during the season. EriK shakes his hand (wash it later, EriK. 20 seconds) and Clara slams a bottle of beer versus actually having to make eye contact with that male Succubus. Chris congratulates all the couples who didn't get their exes pregnant (fake) and bail on their new spouse at the airport and says he really wishes he could turn back time and move into the apartment with Paige. I'm sure the "experts" wish they could turn back time and boot your sorry ass out of the auditions, Chris. So everyone gets up to leave and, of course, Paige and Chris are all smiley with each other and leave somewhat together. Because Paige is glutton for punishment who will never learn. The only thing I want to know is if Chris got that new Benz back once his baby mama wasn't going to be his baby mama. Reunion is next week and I frankly hope we will see Jake let loose on Haley.

Sydney is clearly nuts but for Gary and Alli to suck face all over each other at the dinner table, directly across from her, is pretty rude. Actually, it's pretty rude in general but especially since Alli claims that she's being so considerate towards Sydney. If she were truly considerate, none of that would be happening in group settings. Honestly, if they are so into each other, wait the whole two and a half or three weeks that's left in the charter season and then do whatever you want. (I think we all know that it's very probable as soon as Gary gets into Alli's pants, he'll lose interest.) As far as Gary's age, I think he's probably early thirties. I took his statements to mean that his father left him and his mother very early on and just wasn't much of a presence, with Gary basically giving up on the relationship around 13. I'm always amazed at how the crew acts as though they've been working for six months solid after a two-day charter and therefore they need to do their best to destroy their livers completely on their night out.

Well, this was two hours of bullshit filler, to be followed next week by more bullshit filler until we can get to the bullshit Decision Day. Awesome! Someone posted upthread (apologies, I don't recall who) that Vincent has a bit of a mean streak. Thank you. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, other than being moody but that's it. He does seem to have a mean streak. Brianna doesn't need that. Nor does anyone else. I was HORRIFIED that he cut her braid, after telling her she was going to get a good surprise. HELL, NO. You don't mess with anyone's hair. And you certainly don't cut it, even if she has said that she was going to take her extensions/braids out. I'd be walking right there. If Vincent doesn't understand that saying you're not organized is not a harsh criticism - or even necessarily a criticism - he needs to stay single. It's a fact. Some are incredibly organized, some aren't. No biggie. Kind of like Ryan being incredibly goal-oriented and driven and Clara just wants to be happy and enjoy her job. Nothing wrong with either. Erik clearly wants this to work out so badly that he's willing to overlook Virginia's cats sharing a bed and Virginia's alcohol consumption. He is obviously going to say yes but I don't think Virginia will (nor should she). I did notice that her friends did not get it at all. They were questioning if Erik had a problem with Virginia getting wasted and passing out on friends' couches as an issue of trust. No, drunks. It's an issue of maturity and alcoholism. Speaking of Erik, did anyone else notice that up until this week, Erik's wedding ring was black and last night it was silver/platinum? I love how last night Jake and Haley were saying they should be cordial, really consider the future, etc. Shouldn't you have been doing that the entire time? And I direct that mostly to Haley, since I think she's been terrible to Jake. I think the only reason they both seemed smiley and happy is because they both know this farce is nearly over. I think Ryan and Clara have the best chance to make it, provided that Ryan's decision not to have full-on sex is not due to any repression issues, hang-ups, confusion, etc. He definitely needs to lighten up, though, and as someone else wisely said, get out of his own head. I have to wonder why the "experts" didn't match Clara with Erik - seems like they would have been a good match, given their careers in the airline industry and the desire both of them have to be married and have a family. Jake continues to be my favorite MAFS man this season. He's a great dog dad, he has a sense of humor, he's loyal and seems like a good guy all around. I think Haley made a big mistake.

I don't know if I would say that. I think if the experience had been bad, she wouldn't hesitate to say so (and would frankly make more sense than her "Jake likes the 80s? Ewwwww!" or "Jake doesn't wear tennis shoes? Marriage over!") She has zero problems criticizing Jake to anyone and everyone about anything and everything so I think she would at least hint about it, if not come right out and say it. Neither of them said anything about it to the "experts" either. As far as not wanting to hear Jake relive anything, the fact is that Haley doesn't want to hear Jake, period. She has said in at least two episodes now that she has tried but I've seen zero evidence of that. I think Jake said he was done after Haley claimed she wanted alone time downstairs during the honeymoon and he discovered her hanging out and eating with the other couples. I don't blame him for that one bit. Even if she ran into the other couples, she could have called upstairs to him and let him know -- or just gone upstairs and told him. See, I think Vincent will say yes. Brianna should be on the fence. He's too rigid and unmoving when it comes to certain things (where to live; must have biological kids), he's very moody when he's put in a situation to try something new (something she enjoys doing), and he seems to have some champagne tastes on his Boone's Farm budget, while knocking Brianna for what she spends on clothing and hair. I don't know. I don't think he's a bad guy but I'm not sure that their differences won't tear them apart in the end. Her goals seem to be traveling and having adventures and his goals seem to be a shit ton of kids and leaving a legacy. Nothing wrong with either but they are not compatible and neither should have to change what they want to accommodate the other. I think if Ryan goes first and says he wants to stay together, Clara will agree, whether that is what she truly decided or not. In that way, MAFS should really film each spouse separately with their decision and then play it when both are present, that way no one can change their mind and buckle under pressure. I think both Ryan and Clara are nice people but I'm not sure Ryan can give Clara what she most wants, which is a passionate sex life. I find it interesting that they have apparently not discussed WHY Ryan is hesitant to take it to the next level, especially if they are having some kind of sex. Does he think it's dirty? Some other hang up? Dr. Viv is supposedly the sex expert and even she wasn't exactly inquiring what the hold up is. She should have seen big, huge red flags over Ryan's previous girlfriends waiting for two years and/or not having sex at all during that time. What gives? And if the "experts" knew that Ryan moved that incredibly slow, what were they thinking matching him with someone who admits she moves really fast? No surprise that both Jake and Haley will ask for a divorce. I wonder if both of them will just let the shit fly on Decision Day. I hope Jake does. I think the only surprising thing would be that one or both of them hasn't already contacted an attorney. Why even bother with Paige and Chris? Paige should already have an attorney hired by now. She's been "done" at least three times and we haven't had to see her or that tool she was convinced God sent her for the last several episodes so no need to see either of them on Decision Day. For me, the biggest wildcard is Erik and Virginia. I think they both like the idea of them being married but they both know they have some pretty unsurmountable problems. Erik wants kids and pretty soon. Virginia isn't sure if she ever does (and it's okay if she never does so shame on Pastor Cal for telling her that hey, everyone worries that they are going to eff up their kids before they have them!) Virginia wants to party all the time and maybe she can squeeze Erik in there, in between her bar hops and crashes on the sofas of friends, but only if he meets her at the corner bar. Erik wants to live in his condo until they figure things out, Virginia is dead set against it for no apparent reason and has no solution. Erik is allergic to Virginia's cats and doesn't want them sleeping in the bed with them, Virginia refuses to bend on the issue. If they were dating, they'd be done by now. They act like two people in their twenties in a dating relationship who fight, make up, fight again, make up, cry, yell, fight, make up. To be like this a month into their relationship/marriage is not a good sign for a healthy, loving and lasting relationship. If the "experts" were true experts, they would intervene and suggest to Virginia that she needs rehab and some therapy to help her with anxiety and the issues she has with her upbringing. I actually hope these two decide not to stay together because they just aren't good together. They may not be as surface toxic as Haley and Jake or Chris and anyone but eventually they will be.

I definitely don't need three previous MAFS couples to tell me what we all know. This season is a bust and truthfully, none of these couples should stay together.

Didn't Virginia mention she had depression? Or maybe it was just anxiety? Anyhow, I have to wonder if she's on meds for that. Combining any prescription meds with alcohol (and especially gallons of alcohol on the regular) isn't good. I have to wonder if the experts had any idea about the extent of Virginia's partying. Surely if they did any kind of home visit they would notice the empty liquor bottles, the many, many tumblers, etc. Didn't they use to talk to friends/family way back in the beginning? Surely if they had done that, someone would have squealed about how much partying Virginia likes to do. Vincent is just as rigid and unmovable as Erik appears to be -- although as I said upthread, I wonder how much of that is truly Erik's personality and how much is a reaction to the drunken, childish behavior of his wife. We've seen flashes of Erik's anger (and I don't like it) but he has offered to accommodate her dog and cats and to do whatever to his condo while they are there so that she feels at home (although she won't tell him exactly what it is she wants.) Erik isn't insisting they move into his place because he doesn't like Virginia's or anything like that -- it's because he owns his place and they wouldn't be paying rent. In comparison, Vincent is telling Bri how it's going to be (absolutely do not like that.) Sure, he seems chill and easygoing but he's pretty rigid. He and Bri have apartments in the same neighborhood but he's not willing to discuss where they will live because he likes his apartment? Common sense says that in this situation, you should choose the apartment that's larger. I agree with the don't surprise people with events you're either uncertain they will like or they are afraid of kind of thing. I am curious to know how Vincent could have prepared to go horseback riding though. Hypnotherapy? Watch a YouTube video? Go to Six Flags and get on the carousel? In any event, Bri clearly wants to be out and about and is very adventurous while Vincent prefers to stay home. Nothing wrong with either but it is a pretty significant lifestyle difference. Probably yet another (unsuccessful) instance of the experts thinking that an outgoing person is going to draw a shy person out of their shell.

Haley continually puts her shoed feet on sofas and chairs, which grosses me out far worse.

Just wanted to add that I noticed this over the last two or so episodes and it annoys the crap out of me -- can Haley sit on any chair or sofa without putting her shoes on the furniture? Grrr!

Regardless of anyone's feelings on Erik, he seems like he's fairly intelligent and well read. Virginia? Not so much. I think Erik might like to have more in-depth conversations than she's capable of having -- that makes them a mismatch. I don't know if Erik is normally as bossy as he comes off in this show or if it's just his reaction to dealing with his (often) drunken child wife. I understand that Virginia doesn't want to move into Erik's condo. I also understand that Erik is saying he owns his condo and it would be foolish to sell it until he/they are sure this marriage will last. He has said that he will give Virginia what she needs in order to live there so unless he's lying and/or saying something entirely different when the cameras aren't there, I don't understand what the issue is. I mean, other than Virginia very clearly not being ready for marriage. Or sobriety. I am a huge pet person, always have been. Have had dogs and cats. I am 100% Team Erik on this issue. Erik is not saying the cats can't be in his house, period. He's saying he doesn't want the cats in bed with him. To me, that's enough right there (and again, I'm a huge pet person.) But Erik is allergic. He shouldn't have to take meds because Virginia refuses to let the cats sleep outside of the bedroom. That's inane. I'm amazed that Erik didn't absolutely lose his shit when Virginia was refusing to see it from his perspective and speaking in baby talk to boot. He needs to just go ahead and throw in the towel. She's made it clear she's going to choose her cats and her alcohol over Erik. Game over. Sending Virginia to the beach with only one bottle of alcohol to share with Erik was taking her out of her comfort zone. ETA: "Forcing" Vincent to ride an animal he's terrified of is not just getting him out of his comfort zone. It's cruel IMO. I'm not afraid of horses but I'm with him on jumping out of a plane or bungee jumping. Not going to happen. No way. I'm glad that Vincent at least did ride the horse and got the experience but they should have allowed him to just walk the horse by the lead if that's what he wanted to do. I felt very sorry for Clara. She wants validation so badly and Ryan just won't give it to her. Her letter was very sweet. Was I the only one flicking off my tv when Haley was on? Okay, just me? Seriously, she's a buzz kill. Seems like she only came on the trip because she wanted to bitch about Jake (that and maybe she was contractually required.) While I think both of their letters were nice, she shouldn't have been shocked that Jake left early. I mean, I probably would have told someone I was going - not necessarily Haley - but that's just me. Ironic that Jake and Haley won the little couples' game.

You may be right. I started checking out by the time WWHL came on.

Respectfully disagree about Sydney being the most attractive. I find her the least attractive physically. She has more of a cute look, I guess, but her features seem verging on the masculine to me. I don't like the tattoos that Alli and Dani have, JMO. But I find them both far more attractive than Sydney (and not meaning personality.) I too thought Dani came across very well on WWHL. I think she pointed out that she just turned 33 and she's thinking of a serious relationship/marriage and having a family, whereas someone like JL, who's 24, probably isn't. At least that's what I got from what she said. Gary is a Class A douche but he was upfront with Sydney. He told her right away that it was a one-night stand and it wasn't going to be a charter-long thing (so certainly not moving to Florida and working with Sydney and having a family or whatever other delusional she puked up last week). His mistake was hooking up with his deckhand, period. And especially on day one. So now he pretty much deserves whatever he gets. And I stand by my comment above that Alli is just as much an asshole as he is if she's watching this unfold and she's still participating. Honestly, if Daisy is right and Alli is not serious about Gary, she's an even bigger asshole than I've given her credit for. I mean , we know Sydney is nuts but she's obviously run around and written her name with Gary's on a heart everywhere she can find so Alli should back off. All of them have only known each other for three weeks, for heaven's sake, and they have three weeks or so to go before they go their separate ways. And why did Alli make that comment about if all Sydney and Gary did was kiss it's no big deal or something like that? If memory serves, Sydney told Daisy and Alli when returning to their cabin that she and Gary boned. Sure, they may not have kissed but they did the deed. So Alli shouldn't want to go there at all. It's GARY. I don't get it. Sydney proved how immature she actually is (I mean, besides the stalking and psycho shit) by claiming she doesn't need boys to be happy. First, we know she's lying. And secondly, you're something like 25, right? You should be with men, not boys. Anyhow, Sydney clearly places her self-worth and value on whatever guy (we'll say that) she's with. And the bar is obviously set low for her to be obsessing over GARY. Honestly, I feel sorry for Colin getting woken up every time a drunk Sydney knocks on their door and crawls into bed with Gary.

I agree. I understand that Haley wouldn't have chosen to wear any necklace with a high-necked dress but even going on the assumption she assumed the bracelet was a necklace, she could have tried to wrap it around her wrist as a bracelet or draped it in her flowers. I would have made the effort to show that you wanted to wear the gift somehow on your wedding day. Of course, if Haley had planned on doing that, she would have found it was a bracelet.

Either Dr. Pepper or Dr. Viv had a little session with Haley in which Haley was reminded of how she jumped on her Huffy bike and pedaled the hell out of Dodge on many of her past relationships, or dating experiences. And this was apparently something Haley said herself during her initial interview process. I think that given that things seem to have really hit the skids after Vegas, the "experts" should have found out from Haley if she bolted after having sex. From her own words, she seems to have been very, very hurt by the relationship that ended when she was 20 or 21. I don't think she's gotten over it or through it and it's negatively impacting her and her dating life now. She may be unconsciously protecting herself by finding fault and shutting down whenever she gets serious or intimate with someone. For Jake, who felt that they were making a connection in Vegas, to have her go extremely cold on him and after they had sex, must have been very confusing.

Below Boring, ha ha! I have to disagree about Gary doing his job, unless his job involves watching Alli in the laundry. Maybe ten percent of the time he's working - if that. He takes a lot of smoke breaks and shadows Alli to remind her how much he likes her. The only time he really appears to work is if/when they're docking, unless it's the editing monkeys. I'm undecided on whether JL is just plain lazy or has had no real direction and isn't the type to ask. Gary knew JL was "green," so part of Gary's job is to teach him. I don't understand why the person on anchor/night watch is now supposedly responsible for doing all this cleaning on deck. We've never seen that before on Original Recipe BD or Med. I mean, what is the rest of the deck crew doing all day? Pretty rich of Sydney to complain about the state of the deck after she, Gary and Alli left the place in a mess and it looked like it was JL who got up and cleaned up after them. I wouldn't have. Let the three inconsiderate drunks who messed it up get up and clean it. Sydney, the naked boat baby, is not only a stalker but completely delusional. The better catch? Better looking? Gorgeous? Um. Okay. Exactly how is Gary such a catch? Frankly, I think Gary and Alli deserve each other. They're both assholes. Even if Daisy is correct in that Alli has no real feelings for Gary and is just flirting and having fun, Alli knows that Sydney does have some very stalkerish, unhealthy feelings for Gary so Alli should back off. Bad enough that Sydney is your coworker but they share a cabin too, so come on, Alli. I'm with Dani and Natasha that the 20-minute smoke break was rude, particularly when dinner was being held. Five minutes is one thing, no different than someone getting up to hit the restrooms but 20 minutes? And then the gossiping is denied when that's all the smoking group did. Overall, I think Daisy is a fairly good chief stew, although I do agree with whoever suggested it that she gives Alli special attention or favoritism. They do seem to be gossiping and chatting a lot while Dani, I assume, is working. Aren't they now halfway through their charter season? So shouldn't Alli, at this point and using BD logic, be able to work nights if necessary? I like Captain Glenn but I really wish he would sit down with this group and basically tell them he doesn't give an eff what their personal issues are or anything else. They are there to do a job, so effing do it. Finally, I do like Dani and JL together; they're cute. And I hope Sydney goes full on psycho to Gary because I enjoy seeing him squirm.

Disagree. Jake wasn't "repulsive" enough to keep Haley from sleeping with him in Vegas. And regardless of why she doesn't care for him or find him attractive, she should be a fucking adult about it. Quit tearing apart his fondness for the 80s or the clothing and accessories he likes to wear. Jake has given her several opportunities to just be up front with him and admit it's not there and never will be but she won't own up. I suspect she doesn't want to be the "bad guy" but her words and actions are showing her to be just that. The problem isn't that they are different people -- the problem is that Haley decided almost immediately that Jake was not what she expected and wanted and that's the end of it. That attitude could explain why she's been single for 7 years (and not by choice, according to her) and why she needed the MAFS "experts" to find her a match. She comes off high maintenance, prissy, judgmental and completely unmoving. In other words, a diva, to quote Jake. Ryan seems like a nice guy but he needs to be pinned down to exactly why he's not interested in having sex with Clara and if he ever will be. If everything is great and their marriage is a 10, then why not? I understand not wanting to be intimate on the wedding night and waiting past the honeymoon but they are 7 weeks in, with Decision Day looming. Eric and Virginia are a lost cause. She needs therapy for everything in her life up to this point. Eric is no prize but I don't think he signed up to be a babysitter or a designed driver. Virginia may be 26 but she acts 14. Eric's SIL sees the writing on the wall. This match is doomed. Abandon mission, Eric. I like Brianna but I'm not sure about Vincent. Do they really need an "expert" to discuss that Brianna wants Vincent to wake earlier than he usually does? Seriously? It worries me that when they were talking about children and Dr. Pepper asked about adopting, should pregnancy put Brianna at risk that Vincent did not immediately say Brianna's safety came first, period. No, he looked concerned and then said he would have to think about that because he had never considered adoption. What? You shouldn't have to think on that at all. Your wife should be so important to you that her safety is more important than biological children. And yet another event where Vincent is going to pitch a tantrum because he's uncomfortable doing something he's never done before? Seriously? I think Brianna deserves better than this moody downer. Just go ahead and bring on Decision Day, show. I think Brianna and Vincent will choose to stay together. I'm leaning towards Clara and Ryan choosing to stay together, although I don't think it will last. I'm on the fence with Eric and Virginia. I think Eric wants to fight for it since he's been divorced but Virginia may realize that she wants to party more than being married to a father figure. Jake and Haley are so obviously done. I hope Jake lays it on all the table. I don't understand why MAFS is even bringing Paige and Chris back on D-Day since they've been done.

I'm posting before I read anyone else's comments (but will go back and read them) Haley is a complete and utter asshole. Unless the editing monkeys are at work, at no point was Jake complaining about the bracelet because he wanted it back -- despite what Haley is telling her mom. Dr. Pepper was actually right for once in that he is HURT because not only has she never once worn it but Haley's mom took it from the wedding to Alabama, where it has remained. At no point has she gotten it back or, per her own words, even thought about it. The fact that Haley has ZERO awareness of how mean this sounds is proof positive that she has as much business being on this show and getting married to anyone as Chris does (and Luke from a prior season.) Sure, maybe Jake was being petty by putting the college hat on her dresser but I get it. He's hurt and he's acting out in the only way he can. I did note that when the issue of Jake's footwear was brought up and how terrible it is that Jake has the audacity to not wear tennis shoes, Haley was looking at Dr. Pepper like "See? This ranks right up there with chopping up people with an axe! You have paired me up with Ted Bundy!" I also noted that Haley was gleeful over the fact that she hit the ball 8 times out of 10 in the batting cage versus Jake's twice out of 20. She really rubbed that in his face -- but most certainly did not like it when he beat her at putt-putt, although he didn't appear to be rubbing it in her face. Jake deserves so much better than Haley. Congrats, Haley. I thought Chris was the most foul person to ever appear on this show but you seem to be rising to the challenge to top him.

I fell asleep during this so I'm only going to comment on what I remember (seems to be the BD way, right?) The naked boat baby (Sydney) needs therapy. She seems like a Stage 5 Clinger that's verging into stalker territory. And she's very immature. It was a one-night stand and it's GARY. Perfect example of why you don't hook up with your boss. Her only saving grace, IMO, is that she does seem to work -- when she's not obsessing over Gary, stalking Gary, drinking and/or involved in some kind of shenanigans. Gary is the worst. A shitty bosun or first mate - whatever it's called on a luxury sailboat. How many smoke breaks does he have during a work shift? He's like Jenna from last season, always hanging around the galley to moon over Adam -- Gary is always hanging around the laundry to moon over Alli. And he should have been fired for being drunk and disorderly at 2 am and then jumping into the water, along with two co-workers, one of whom is his deckhand. Daisy is clearly a better person than I am because I would have knocked Alli into next week if she had woken me up to moon over Gary (GARY!) at 2 am and then stumbled back into their shared cabin. Hell, no. Regarding Alli and JL, I'm totally Team JL on waking someone up to get them to party with you. No. Absolutely not. I did find it hypocritical that Alli was so upset that JL told her to "F*ck off" after she woke him up and then kept egging him on but was fine with telling Gary to "F*ck off" over Gary allowing Sydney into his bunk. You can't have it both ways, Alli. (Disclaimer: I do believe that the "F*ck off"s were appropriate in both cases. ) I like Dani, I like JL, I like Daisy and I like Captain Glenn and that's about it. The rest of them suck.

Ha ha! Truth!

What I wouldn't give to see Kate go off at Gary and the deck crew -- minus JL, who does seem to pitch in wherever he's asked without complaint, and Sydney, the naked boat baby, who does seem to work when she's not drunkenly jonesing after Gary. Team Daisy on this one, since they had 9 charter guests and 3 interior stews. Deck crew has 3, plus Colin and then Captain Glenn, who doesn't seem to have a problem pitching in. This particular charter gave zero fucks about the water and the toys, other than the snorkeling on the last day, so the deck crew should have had almost nothing to do as it relates to the guests. Speaking of, I thoroughly disliked these guests. High maintenance, snooty, annoying posers who left a shitty tip. And really Barrie? You're going to propose to your boyfriend (and your daughter's former boyfriend) during your ex-husband's birthday party? Could he not have proposed the night before? Or was he worried that he would be refused and then have to deal with the after effects for the next day or so into the cruise? (Didn't that happen on BD OG where someone got refused?) Maybe it's the editing monkeys but Gary doesn't seem to work much. He talks about 14-hour days but every time we see him when he's "working," he's either on a smoke break or he's flirting with Alli. Speaking of, Alli, I don't know if she's losing her senses over grief or whatever but I thought she was smarter than to try to get involved with Gary. Why? Is it because Dani is having a flirtation with JL? Is she in competition with the naked boat baby? Is she desperate? Is it producer manipulation? After watching what has gone down with Gary and the naked boat baby, she will deserve whatever she gets at this point. I do appreciate that JL did not partake in their shenanigans and snapped at Alli (I think) when he was woken up. When interior was whooping it up in whoever's cabin, it was rude to everyone who was trying to sleep. Gary, Alli and the naked boat baby all deserve to be fired for being loud, drunk and then jumping off the boat at 2 a.m., particularly after Glenn told them it was a school night. Gary especially, since he is a department head. I think about how Daisy is going to be woken up by Alli and the naked boat baby coming into their cabin at WTF-a.m. -- I hope she goes off on them. Looks as though Glenn was woken by their behavior so hopefully he will too. I still wonder how Hannah was able to fired (at least per Captain Sandy and Malia the Snake) for having legit prescription meds on board but showing up for duty still clearly intoxicated, as well as with sleep deprivation, is okay. You would think intoxicated/hung over/sleep deprived deckmates/stews is a huge liability. I think Dani and JL are cute together and don't seem like a producer set up. Are we going to have to listen to the naked boat baby question where she stands with Gary EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE? Somebody please show her footage of Gary telling her their hookup was going to be a one-night stand. (Although seeing Gary squirm and be super uncomfortable with her stalking is making me gleeful.) I appreciate how Captain Glenn explains all the "captaining" to the newbies and lets them steer the yacht. He really does seem like a cool guy.

Oh boy. I was team Eric until last night's episode. Now I understand why Virginia drinks so much -- she's self-soothing. She seems to suffer from some pretty serious anxiety, which should have been a red flag to the "experts." I can't imagine how much marrying a stranger and then moving into a "neutral" apartment with said stranger, and leaving your cats behind, would incite anxiety. I also understand how much Rockie means to her; I had an amazing little Boston Terrier (like Eric's Tex) who helped me survive a painful divorce. I adored my BT and I would have thrown down with anyone who criticized him. I already felt that Eric and Virginia wouldn't make it based on her immaturity and desire to party but Eric's rigid military-like stance on everything wont' gel either. For every good thing he does (like taking Rockie to the pet store, asking questions from a trainer, buying Rockie a toy), he fucks it up by berating Virginia, being hostile, etc. Frankly, Virginia needs to pack herself and Rockie up, go back home and find a good therapist. Eric can just fly away -- I'll take Tex! Jake and Haley are another lost cause. I think Jake was looking a bit down after losing to Haley with the go-karts because he knows it's all for the cameras and that's it. Brianna and Vincent aren't far off when they say that Jake and Haley just need to communicate. Neither "gets" the other's personality. And Haley can STFU with her constant refrain of how she's trying and she'll all by herself. Girl, Sophie is trying more than you are. And speaking of, Jake and Sophie are beyond cute. He does seem to be a good dog dad - something that we NEVER see Haley comment on. Brianna and Vincent should make it. I loved their bike ride. They are doing what MAFS couples should do during the 8-week period. They are getting to know each other and doing low-key stuff. Not everything is a major discussion or debate. I think Ryan is super cute with Miska but he seems very intimidated by Clara. Understandable, since she is coming across as wanting a hard d*ck inside her, whether it's Ryan's or not. Why can't she just talk to him about why it's okay that she's getting him off every night but he's not laying down the pipe? She smiles and doesn't say anything to him but it's clear she's simmering and seething (as we saw at the end of last night's show.) I understand Ryan wanting to get to know her but I don't understand how doing everything but actually putting it in (paraphrasing) is different. I want them to go the distance, though, because I like each of them and I think they could be a good couple if they would just talk to each other. How many times is Paige going to be "done" with Chris? How many times is she going to tell us or someone else that this time it's over? Enough already! Chris should have been unceremoniously dumped in Vegas after Paige found out he wasn't attracted to her, despite hitting it twice on their wedding night, and then that Chris had not only been engaged two months before MAFS but also that his former fiancee was pregnant. Peace out. Paige's brother and Chris's mother are clearly smarter than their sibling/offspring. I don't need to see Chris ever again on my tv. I could tell that Brianna was alternating between jumping for joy and smacking Paige upside the head with a "No shit!" when Paige announced that it was over (again) and she deserved better (duh). Unless the editing monkeys were at work, the previews for Decision Day (which should still be quite a few episodes down the road) pretty much gave away how it's going to go.