psychoticstate

I'd like to know what part of captain's school goes over getting on the radio to blast to every crew member that your bosun and chef are sharing a cabin so they can bang for the next two weeks? I would savor Captain Lee's input on this. I didn't like Malia her first season. I found her to be insufferable, full of herself, and a cockteasing twit who was playing Adam and Wes off each other. I started to like her this season but I see that I was right before. She's insufferable and full of herself. Sandy does nothing but enable her. Malia throws what is basically a temper tantrum because, horror of horrors, she and Tom may not be able to share a cabin for the next TWO. WEEKS. Cry me a river, princess. If Kiko hadn't been canned, you wouldn't be seeing your boyfriend over the next two weeks anyhow. I have NEVER been Team Hannah so damn you, BD Med, Captain Sandy and Malia for making me so now. Clearly Malia took Hannah's personal medications, along with her passport, I guess, so she could "prove" everything was Hannah's, snapped a photo and then sent it to Captain Sandy to get Hannah fired. Not just retaliation, I suspect, but also since Malia managed to wrangle her boyfriend a chef position and a shared cabin, she's now wrangling a chief stew position for her pal Bugsy. And Sandy is dumb fuck enough to fall for it. Honestly, this may have been the greatest level of unprofessionalism I have ever seen on this show, both from Malia and Sandy. I hope at the Zoom reunion, both these twits get ripped apart. Tom seems like a nice, normal guy so I have to wonder WTF he's doing with the bitch of the sea. I really hope Joao lets loose on Twitter about his real feelings. I'm sure they will be gold. Somewhere tonight Wes is counting his blessings for dodging that bullet and Adam may be grateful for dodging two bullets.

This is a rhetorical question, right? I mean look up "mean" and "crude" in the dictionary and you'll see a photo of Brandi there (hopefully not with her tampon string hanging out). Brandi is a self-serving liar so I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. Heck, given the previews, it's entirely possible that Brandi was badmouthing most (if not) all of the hos so maybe she thought she'd get ahead of the curve and throw Denise under the bus instead. I did find it interesting that as the two vans were driving through Rome, in one van (I think it was Dorito and Ice Queen) they were noticing the gorgeous scenery and in the other (Rinna, Kyle and Woe-Is-Me Teddi) all they were doing was gossiping about Denise. You dumb bitches, you're in Rome. You had what? A 10 or 11 hour plane trip to snark all you wanted on Denise. But I guess the cameras weren't there for that. And what kind of a simp is Teddi that she suffers with anxiety over a rumor that has ZERO to do with her? Yeah, right. You just had to tell Rinna because damned if you do, damned if you don't. No, Teddi. When you hear a fucking uncorroborated rumor that has fuck all to do with you, you keep your big, fat, fucking mouth shut. If you want to confront Denise because you have to clear the air, not because you're a shit stirrer (ha!), then do so privately about what was allegedly said about you. And only you. And like Sutton said, not at the dinner table. So obviously #TeamSutton on that one. She was absolutely correct and man, did she throw Teddi off her "I must clear the air" game. Go, Sutton. And #TeamDorito on calling out Kyle for her constant interruptions. That is one of my biggest pet peeves and Kyle does it all the fucking time. Shut your damn mouth and let someone else say something. When Rinna was saying that Teddi and/or Kyle had to bring up the rumor because they "were there" (which, no, they weren't; they just heard it from Brandi), notice that Kyle could manage to keep her piehole shut then. #TeamGarcelle for saying what Denise owed no one any explanations for anything; that was her business -- but Garcelle wanted the deets later. I hope it's found out that Brandi lied through her Botoxed face about the entire thing. I'd love to watch these bitches (minus Denise, Sutton, Garcelle and Dorito) eat crow. And OF COURSE Kim blabbed to the entire family when Kyle lost her virginity and a family meeting had to be called. What a fucked up family that was/is.

You and me both! Most of these off-nights out make me shudder. I'd be fine with the dinner but have zero interest in clubbing. Especially when you have a charter starting the next day at noon and these idiots are yelling, screaming and having drunken shenanigans at 3 am. I've been to Vegas multiple times and I have zero idea what a Vegas dinner is supposed to be. Rat Pack-Oceans 11 thing? Buffet? It could mean many different things to different people. Case in point: Hannah, who thinks nachos and truffle fries screams Vegas. I know Hannah gives zero fucks and hates the fucking boat (as she does every season) but she should have stepped up and told Sandy that she suggested the food items to Kiko. Ultimately Kiko is responsible but having never been to Vegas, he trusted someone who had and adjusted his menu accordingly. And as another poster said, Hannah should have clarified with the guests what a Vegas dinner meant to them and what they were expecting. After all, they met with her and Kiko on day one to go over the menu and food options so why wasn't that discussed? I have somewhat defended Sandy in the past, saying that production likely makes her micromanage but she infuriated me this episode, whether it was all her or production or what. Stay out of the fucking galley! Your chef is already under pressure; he doesn't need you breathing down his neck! Leaving the fucking charter guests alone! Quit asking them repeatedly how their food is! If they are paying serious coin for the charter and they aren't happy, they will let someone know. By polling them every time they put a morsel of food into their mouths, she's encouraging them to find some fault, no matter how small. She's also sending the message that she doesn't trust her chef. Honestly, I'd love Capt. Lee's take on Sandy's following the guests around and stalking Kiko. My heart broke that Kiko was in tears. I understand it. I had a job once like that, where my supervisor was breathing down my neck all the time and telling me if I made one mistake, I was going to be fired. It's no way to work. Bugsy does have beautiful tables. So far, the tables on this charter have been out of the park. Alex is super cute. Even though I couldn't understand what he was trying to say to Bugsy, it's adorkable that he gets so tongue tied around her. So given that Bugsy made the suggestion that the laundry room should have numbers for everyone with a slot for their clothing items . . . it doesn't already? How do you keep track of what is whose? Jess definitely should have her job duties down by now but Hannah would be responsible for that. I'm not a fan of Hannah's (obviously) but she has the worst attitude. Why was she bitching about the boat last night? Because she had to do her job? And if it's because she's worried about Kiko, then stand up for him! She's been on charter with Sandy multiple times before (and it's not like Sandy can really fire anybody since they are under contract with Bravo) so why not suggest or tell Sandy that Kiko needs some breathing room? Again, why doesn't Hannah admit that she suggested the menu to Kiko? Gah. If Kiko leaves, I am going to be disappointed, disgusted and utterly saddened.

Oh, come on now! Kyle CUT HER BANGS for a film role! WTF is up with that sign? I also thought it was something tacky for the party. Such a classical, beautiful house and they have some stupid pink light special advertising in the foyer. And BTW, I'm all for keeping Kyle in this franchise if they bring Allison DuBois in as a regular. Would love to see Allison get under her skin again.

Kyle, it's bad enough you're wearing a dead feline during your packing party, you compounded it by ordering up water for your guests and then you can state with a straight face that you don't believe Brandi Glanville would lie? How much of the good stuff are you and Mauricio smoking? And just a reminder for Kyle -- it wasn't that long ago, when they were in Amsterdam in fact, that Kyle had a hissy fit because Brandi made a comment about smoking weed and Kyle didn't want her kids to hear that. Please explain how that is any different than Denise not wanting her kids to overhear threesome talk? I mean, the main difference is the threesome talk went on two feet from the kids' table and the weed talk was in another country but both were being filmed and the concern was basically the same. No one mom-shamed Kyle over it and turned it into Kylegate/Weedgate like this coven is doing with Denise. Although I liked the winter wonderland theme for Erika's shoe event, she went all out with the ice queen bit. She is one cold, hard bitch. Denise shouldn't waste her time with her. No one should. And yeah, Erika you are living the dream or whatever you said because you're married to a filthy rich man who pays the bills. If you were still dancing at Shooters (or whatever it's called), no one would give two shits about your shoe line or your singing and you certainly wouldn't be on Broadway. So please stop acting like your super talented self got you where you are. Between Kim and Brandi in the same scene, do not watch with only one contact lense in. And I did and they looked as though their faces were melting. Kim always looks like someone left her in the oven on extra crispy too long and Brandi looks as though she's undergone the Mick Jagger Claymation reconstruction surgery. Teddi: "I am not a shit stirrer!" Also Teddi, as soon as the cameras are set up: "Rinna, there is something I simply must tell you" (not because you need to know but because I can throw a wrench in your so-called friendship with Denise before she gets here! I honestly don't care what Denise and Brandi did or didn't do. None of my business. Although I did think Denise had better taste than that. That's between her and Aaron. I don't believe for a minute that Brandi is broken up over anything, nor is she trying to "protect" the coven from Denise's evil, wily ways. She must have bill collectors after her or something and is angling for an orange. Kim and Brandi must be the oddest friendship ever. Kim looks like a dehydrated turtle next to the Amazonian overly-pulled and plumped Brandi. ETA: Dorito's Italian was beautiful. And she does seem to be a good mom.

Right? Seems the dipshit apple doesn't fall far from the asshole tree.

It did. That rumor was floated but clearly never seriously believed as there was no investigation. I used to work with someone who knew both Dan and Betty and what I was told was that Betty was a very-involved, fantastic mother who was always at the children's events while Dan was nowhere to be seen. This person also told me they considered Dan a prick of the first order. I've often said all three adults in this tragic story acted terribly and certainly not in the best interests of the children. I'm floored that, with hindsight, not one person truly seemed to realize how mentally unbalanced Betty was. And yes, I have heard that Linda was not buried with Dan but elsewhere. I believe she was from Salt Lake City so it's possible she was taken there. There was a dispute between the Kolkena and Broderick families following the murders. Dan's family alleged that Linda died first so she therefore could not inherit anything and the Brodericks weren't responsible for any costs to due with her portion of the funeral and/or burial. Pretty gross when you consider that she was his wife and he was making well over $100K a month. I had to laugh over Linda whining about how hard she had it and how difficult Betty was. Here's a thought. Don't fuck your married boss. Withholding the wedding china was mean. Why would you even want it? Of course we're also talking about a couple that got married 10 days after what would have been Betty and Dan's 20th anniversary and who were killed in a bed sleeping under a quilt that had been on Betty and Dan's marital bed. As someone who works in the legal field and did live in San Diego, I can tell you that the legal community is very small and almost incestuous. Everyone knows everyone. I have seen cases that look like good cases for the plaintiff, pretty solid, and yet, nope! We're not touching that one because of who the defendant is and/or is represented by. You don't want to get on the bad side of certain firms and/or attorneys. And if you're dealing with a sole practitioner, that attorney could be put under by the sheer volume of document production by the other, often larger, firm. Given that Dan was well known in San Diego, and president of the SD bar association, I don't doubt that he used that against Betty and she did have a hard time finding an attorney willing to go up against him. I also have zero doubt that he cooked the books so his law practice wouldn't look nearly as profitable as it was and he clearly lied about not knowing about Epstein credits. Bullshit. He was an attorney with a supposed God-given ability. Of course he knew about Epstein credits. He knew what he was doing when he encouraged Betty in her pursuit of a new house, knowing full well she would owe him that money down the road. He was a devious bastard. I wish Betty had been able to just collect her $16k a month back in '89 -- and go back to court each time Dan's business increased and gotten more. Don't remarry. Live and be happy. Let Linda have her "prize." Dan was a cheater and allegedly Linda was too -- in real life, she and Dan briefly broke up and she dated someone else. She eventually went back to Dan but he said later on that a few weeks before they married, Linda hooked up with him. Cheaters going to cheat. And as the old saying goes, once the wife is out of the picture and the side piece becomes the new girlfriend, a job position opens up.

Ugh, I hate the bachelor/bachelorette parties. First, never a good idea to have them the night before the wedding. Secondly, they're generally so cheesy and lame to watch. Clearly Brett is in the douchebag asshole for the season. He should have been matched with the high-maintenance Christina. I did laugh over how Henry tried on one tux and was good while Christina seemed to try on half the bridal store. She is going to eat him alive. No way they make it. Olivia is going to be this season's Mindy, I guess. Miles seems like a good guy -- which could mean that he has some dark secret or will be an ass. Woody seems like a player. I wasn't sure about Bennett at first but he's grown on me. Also like Henry. No opinions yet on Karen and Amani. Amelia seems exhausting, like it's hard work to be quirky. And I know it's pretty much an American thing but I really don't like the unshaved arm pits, especially if you're wearing a strapless gown. I hope someone takes her to get her pits waxed before the wedding. Really wish the episode had dealt with the families being told, gown/tux shopping and then just right into the weddings. So who did Karen get the text from regarding Miles? How would that person know Miles had been matched with Karen?

Ha! This made me bust out laughing! I actually don't imagine Sandy does that during her non-Bravo charters. I'm sure the producers either suggest it or go and grab her and ask her to bomb the dinner table or something for drama. I do think she handled Pete exactly right, although Malia should have been there. Frankly, Sandy should be the last course of action so Malia should have handled this one on her own, instead of sending Bugsy to the captain. Pete is a douche but I really do hope this teaches him a lesson and he gets his ass in line. I must be one of the few who doesn't mind Bugsy at work (drunk Bugsy is another story). She is good at what she does, she doesn't seem to get frazzled and as easily annoyed as Hannah does, and she seems to know exactly how to defuse or take care of a guest situation, whether it be with Kiko or Jess. So I have no issues with her. I felt bad for Jess. Ouch. That must have hurt. And then to have Hannah acting all bitchy, like somehow Jess did this on purpose and now it's going to really upset Hannah's schedule and (gasp!) she might actually have to do (extra) work! Bugsy didn't complain at all. (Hopefully that won't change in upcoming episodes.) I'm pleased to see that Alex appears to be a hard worker, as does Rob (so far.) Has there ever been a chef that didn't bitch and moan over vegans? (Maybe Adrian?) I could just imagine Ben on this charter - - he'd be throwing pots and pans and screaming in between his hysterical laughter. I did laugh at Kiko's "who wants to be a vegan?" (paraphrasing). He is funny. His food generally looks delish -- he needs to get out of his own head. And frankly, Hannah, Bugsy and Jess should be encouraging him as much as possible. I could never handle being a solo chef for a charter yacht -- especially one where the guests bring back something like 6 extra people. And then leave a stingy tip. Beautiful background scenery though.

This makes Kyle even more reprehensible to me. Brandi is a low class, basic gutter rat with bad extensions and terrible filler. Bad enough that Kyle is friends with The Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick, who I can just barely tolerate. That she's now allegedly actual friends with Brandi shows she has zero class. Can the show bring back Alison DuBois to give Kyle another psychic reading?

Totally #TeamDenise and #TeamAaron. The only two housewives I can stand are Denise and Garcelle. Dorit is on the fence. The rest can eff off. Rinna couldn't wait to run-tell-dat after Denise and Aaron left Kyle's ridiculous barbeque. Some friend. Who cares if they're going to get a steak, at a strip club or not? All this fake pearl clutching while they're downing tequila and then attempting stripper moves on the tent pole. Wasn't Erika bragging about being a stripper not that long ago? Now suddenly it's offensive? Next. Kyle really should rethink criticizing Denise's casual style when she dresses like a Golden Girls reject the majority of the time. That barbeque outfit was hideous. Erika is just a bitter old hag. Maybe she's jealous that Denise has a young, good looking husband. Whatever. She needs to STFU. Teddi needs to stop trying to stay relevant by inserting herself in drama. All the ladies can zip it with their comments about Aaron being at the barbeque when Edwin was there also. And they were just foaming at the mouth at Sutton's party, waiting for Denise to get there so they could gang up on her again. Denise, girl, you need new friends -- even just "tv" friends. Kyle's having a party? Yawn. Who cares? Kim is getting her boobs done? Yawn. Who cares? Of course Kyle is anxiety-ridden and panicked. When is she not? Big Kathy sure did a number on her children, laying down the guilt trip on Kyle to take care of Kim and basically making Kyle terrified of practically everything. As others have said, major props to Aaron for teaching Sami how to drive. I was a little worried though that Sami didn't seem to know whether the brake was on the right or left. Yikes. So in the previews it looks like Kyle invited Brandi to her stupid white party. Since when are Kyle and Brandi friends? Looks like a set up to me.

The best part of this episode was seeing Roy Orbison's grandson singing Pretty Woman -- pwetty woman, walking down the stweet -- on his little guitar and then mentioning his "gwandfather" sang it. The charter guests were awesome. They seemed easygoing and appreciative of everything. Always nice to see. Agree that Rob and Jessica were rude to hook up in the cabin he shares with Kiko, rather than just going to the cabin Jess has solo right now. Lara's gone so Hannah has to kick someone -- cue Jess. She may be unexperienced but she tries, she has a good attitude and she doesn't cause problems. If she stayed on her break longer than scheduld, all Hannah had to do was say that she understood that Jess is exhausted and working the job of two people and Hannah appreciates that but to please do your best to return at the scheduled time. Hannah's delivery is always so awful. And Hannah is a smoker so I'm sure she's taking her smoke breaks. I get why Sandy would be concerned with the laundry, particularly if the guests might see it and if their clothing is in there. However, she should have spoken to Hannah about it since Hannah is in charge of the interior. I think Kiko's food looks good -- and I don't eat red meat. Did Sandy ever consider that maybe the charter guests specifically requested the food Kiko prepared? Kiko may have felt that cooking something he felt comfortable with and was generally met with positive reviews was a good move on a charter where they were down one person. And do not compare him to Adam! No competition. Sandy should not have said anything to the deck crew about Malia being called sweetheart. That's Malia's place. Way to diminish her in the eyes of her crew, Sandy. I didn't like Malia during her previous season but I like her here. She seems like a nice, easygoing boss, so long as you do what's expected of you. And she does tell her crew "good job" when it's earned and deserved so I'll give her that. Thrilled that Bugsy is back -- although I don't support her en-route-to-the-yacht outfit. She's a good stew and she gets on Hannah's last nerve so win-win. I do think Sandy should have gotten on to Hannah about her reaction, as it could have influenced the rest of the crew before Bugsy even arrived. I'd love to see Hannah and Jenna working under Kate. That would be gold.

Agree with this. I know someone who knew both of them and this person told me that Dan was a class A fuckwit. He was never around for the kids' school or extracurricular things and before Dan and Linda were a thing, Betty was not like that at all. I think Meredith Baxter did a fantastic job but that movie was made with the cooperation of Dan's family so of course they are going to make her look even worse than she already did. IMO, all adults concerned -- Betty, Dan and Linda -- behaved abominably. Dan and Linda didn't deserve to be murdered, no matter how shitty they were. I wish Betty had been able to just continue collecting the alimony and wait for Dan and Linda's relationship to blow up instead of taking things in her own hands.

Lara is completely insubordinate and unprofessional but this is BD. I love that she is getting under Hannah's skin so I have no problem with her staying. Hannah is not a good supervisor. Jenna is still worse than Hannah but if Hannah can't speak in a calm and authoritative manner to Lara (or anyone else), she shouldn't be in charge. And like every other season, as soon as she has issues with someone, she immediately runs off to blab about them to other crew members. I didn't care much for Malia in her previous season but I'm changing my tune (so far) for this one. She seems to be doing a good job and isn't being a hardass with her crew. Kiko may be my favorite chef of any BD franchise so far. He always has a smile on his face, he hasn't complained about having to make anything, the food looks good and he said "Fuck you, carrots!" Win-win! His only fault appears to be time management but as someone else pointed out, Hannah shouldn't be seating the charter guests if the food isn't ready.

I'll bet that if Erika made that comment about Kyle's daughters, who all but Portia are older than Denise's oldest daughter, there would be hell to pay. And Kyle has had her family on the show from day one. Still doesn't make it okay. I think it's disgusting for a grown ass woman to make that comment about two teen girls. And on camera, no less. I hope Denise rips Erika a new one for that on the reunion.

Does Erika even remember her own kid's name?

I think I'm done with this show. It's nothing but excessive drinking by two obvious alcoholics (Dorinda and Leah), one possible alcoholic (Sonja) and an entire group of adult women behaving like toddlers. Why is this considered entertainment? Why does Dorinda care so fucking much about whether or not Tinsley is seeing/dating/fucking Scott? It's none of her damn business. She gets Tinsley emotional, then after Tinsley says she doesn't want to say anything to the other ladies yet, Dorinda pulls a complete bitch move and announces to the table that Tinsley has an announcement to make. Then sits there with that shit-eating smirk on her face. She clearly gets off on Tinsley's pain. Dorinda is a mean, cruel, drunk bitch. Leah is completely crazy. I'm tired of her saying she's just being herself. That's code for "I'm rationalizing my asshole behavior." She's utterly rude when she drinks, between tearing up Ramona's house to Ramona's dinner to throwing food at the restaurant table. There is no excuse for that. I really think that Tinsley and Lu need to get away from this group. They are toxic and they're making this show toxic and not enjoyable at all.

Yes, Denise is a cast member but her underage kids are not. Erika jumped all over Eileen for bringing up her adult son. And we've heard time and again that kids should be off limits. So that should include Denise's kids as well. And FTR, I don't think Denise cares so much about comments directed at her (unless they directly impact her children) but she's looking out for her daughters (and their friends.)

Is Kyle's fashion line inspired by the Golden Girls? Honestly, for the astrology dinner, Kyle dresses like she raided a Forever 21 store. For her barbecue, it's like she's channeling Mrs. Roper.

Yep. Saying you're done with a conversation means just that. It doesn't mean that you're about to burst a blood vessel or suffer an embolism, Teddi.

Well, Denise had admitted that she swears around her kids. That's not the issue. And if Dorito had a problem with it, she could have said something. She didn't. So that's just Teddi butting in once again to try and stay relevant. I don't blame Denise and Aaron for leaving. Why stay at a party that's just going to be a pile on against you? They're criticized for not bringing their kids and then it's just pick, pick, pick. Teddi stirs the pot, Kyle can't read a room and Erica is just a See You Next Tuesday with shitty fashion sense.

Can we have Aaron host the reunions? "Okay, great. Let's move on and talk about something else." Ha! Those bitches literally didn't know which way to turn. I may be developing a crush on Aaron because he has no fucks to give with them. I am just stunned that these, um, women (with the exception of Garcelle) seem to have no concept that some topics that adults discuss amongst themselves are off-limits around kids. And even if they think it's okay and would talk about it with theirs, if Denise says it's not around hers, that's the end of it. Or should be.

Clearly Aaron, Denise, Garcelle and Teddi are the only people who know how to dress at a barbecue. Teddi is a shit stirrer. STFU, Teddi. I love that Aaron very quickly sticks up for Denise. #TeamDenise

Why is Kyle wearing pajamas at her barbeque?

I wonder how much of that was production maybe telling Sandy that one of the guests wasn't pleased with his meal? I get that she was probably feeling nervous after Mila last season but I can't imagine that she does this on her non-Bravo charters. That's what the stews are there for -- tell them if something isn't right. Love seeing Mallorca so far.