psychoticstate

Erika's "feisty" is another person's "criminally liable." Allegedly.

Crystal knows Erika's full of it.

Even if we believed for a second that Erika was handing over every cent to Tom and had no access, why didn't she talk to the glam squad that was getting $40k a month and ask them to start sending Tom invoices for $50k or more and then put the difference into an account with her name on it? Her excuses and protestations remind me of when Princess Diana claimed she didn't make crank calls because she didn't know how to use a pay telephone. Uh-huh.

Boy, everyone but Crystal and Sutton are jumping on Erika's Victim Express. Jeebus.

So Erika's nasally voice apparently took a powder and her insanely dark, thick brows filled in. Dorito won the best dressed for me, followed by Garcelle. Erika looked like some deranged Hello Kitty anime figure. The shade of blue on Sutton was pretty but the dress was 80s all the way (shoutout to the 80s!) Crystal's dress was safe but boring. Kyle's dress was fine -- except for the belt buckle across her chest. Girl, it's October. Save the ta-tas month. Rinna. I'm not sure which was worse. Her "Priscilla" pony or that purple thing she wore. She must have gotten a memo that her diamond was in jeopardy because she was gunning for Garcelle with no real reason. And is there any doubt that Kyle was probably the person that told Garcelle what Rinna ALLEGEDLY (shout out to Erika!) said about Garcelle bringing race into the show? Overall I found part 1 fairly boring. Nobody cares about Dorito's issues with Garcelle. Rinna's issues with Garcelle were fake and forced. Nobody believes that Harry Hamlin told Rinna he was concerned about Garcelle because nobody believes that Harry Hamlin and Rinna converse off camera. Sutton should have jumped in and brought up that when Erika was not present, everyone had something to say but as soon as she showed up, they didn't say a word unless it was throwing Sutton under the bus. Erika can say that she didn't quit the Hos because she honors her commitments all she wants but we all know that she didn't quit because girl needs the money. Next week, I hope in addition to Erika's feet being held to the fire, it's brought up how often Kyle was shit-stirring and bringing stuff back up that had been squashed. And Bravo, WE KNOW that Halloween Kills is released this Friday and Kyle is in it. We didn't need promos every commercial break nor the fakity fake "Michael Myers" encounter Kyle had outside her door. She obviously knew it was coming and it was being filmed. Girl jumped at the thought of a real animal popping out at Crystal's party so if she had not been in on it, she not only would have seen "Michael Myers" much sooner (like as soon as she went out the door) but she would have nearly had a heart attack and jumped the entire length of her height.

Lord, this week was messy. I was married to a Jose and Rachel needs to get her things and peace out. If Jose is doing this a month in while being filmed and surrounded by production, he's got major anger issues. What's going to happen should you forget to pay a bill or make dinner or the kids wake him up in the middle of the night? I don't want to see Rachel on an episode of 20/20, Dateline or 48 Hours. I did love that Jose was totally read by the guys during the golf outing. They clearly knew he wasn't telling the whole story. I'm also glad to see they all seemed to believe that Rachel calling him a different name (and another "J" name) was not that big of a deal (it's not, especially given the circumstances.) I think Zach was halfway out during the non-honeymoon honeymoon. Michaela ran back to Houston, which would have made me feel a certain way (and not a good one). I get that Zach had Covid but she could have stayed and at least let him know she was there if he needed her. It seemed very selfish to go back to Houston (and still seems so to me.) And the morning meltdown where she called him a mother-effing liar and/or whatever else she said? Kind of like Jose, no? I'd be out. Again, to have this level of reaction and during the so-called honeymoon period is a major red flag. I agree with the poster upthread who mentioned that a tantric sex class for someone who isn't feeling attraction to his partner may not be the best move. Personally, I think Ryan could change his feelings about Brett if she went outside her comfort zone and went two-stepping with him or something like that. She's not his type but I think he also put a wall up when he saw that she wasn't into country pursuits like he is and seems freaked out/afraid by lots of things. (Of course I also initially liked Harry and Meghan as a couple so it shows you that my feelings are clearly skewered and suspect.) So while I will laugh and laugh when Harry and Meghan do eventually divorce, I want for Brett and Ryan to work out. I think Bao and Johnny are cute and have a good chance if they deadbolt the door on the experts. See Jose for assistance with deadbolts. From the first episode or so, I thought Myrla and Gil were going to be the obvious train wreck (see disclaimer above about my feelings being suspect and skewered) but I actually think they are cute and see a possibility. Gil is very patient and clearly devoted to making it work. Myrla is lucky that she was paired with him. At least she finally admitted that she has an issue with intimacy - he seems like the perfect (MAFS) partner for her in that regard. Right now, I feel like the only couples that truly have a fighting chance are Johnny and Bao and Gil and Myrla. Ryan isn't feeling it, Zach is fearful that Michaela is going to kill him in his sleep, and Jose is probably on an FBI wanted poster somewhere.

Who would have thought? Last week, PK was the MVP and voice of reason. This week, Kathy is making me laugh and I really appreciate her scenes. I thought my ex-husband could tell some whoppers when it came to lies but I think Erika's got him beat. And did she get her medical degree while working that pole or on the side when she wasn't being Erika Jayne? While I have heard it's not a good idea to be put under with a TBI, I'm fairly certain the doctors would know that too. And despite Erika apparently knowing everything that is going on with Tom (including the plethora of car accidents and vehicle rolls), now she's saying that Tom could have been shot, stabbed, etc., she just doesn't know? I mean, I understand by looking at Erika that no one has ever told her that less is more but that saying would certainly be relevant in her rehashings of the many pitfalls of Tom and Erika. Girl, bye. I've been to Del Mar but never traveled like these women. So jealous. What gorgeous suites. I did snort with laughter at Garcelle saying if she saw two twins in the hallway, she was out! What is the deal with them constantly picking on Garcelle? I think they're intimidated by her (well, except maybe for Kathy) because Garcelle truly generally has no fucks to give. Take that, Erika. Upthread Big Kathy was mentioned. Seriously, worst mother ever. Bad enough she was letting Kyle drive around L.A. at 13 but she turned the sisters against each other for years. What a miserable woman.

At long last, Lexi is fired. Of course, she should have been fired after assaulting Lloyd in the hot tub and being disrespectful and insubordinate to Katie and Malia -- and most certainly after putting her hands on Mzi. I think Mat is a vile person when he's drinking, he most definitely is a shit stirrer but he does his job without complaints and he doesn't put hands on people, so therein lies the difference. Katie's decision to not bring Delaney back will certainly not be a good one. While it's okay for her to say she's fine without breaks and working even harder, she should have talked to Courtney about it before nixing Delaney with Captain Sandy. Courtney may not be okay with forgoing breaks and working harder. And yes, one fewer stew means a larger tip, it means a larger tip for everyone, not just the two people whose workload increased. I don't think Katie realized that Delaney was pretty much doing all the work as far as laundry and cabins while Lexi stood by and complained and snacked. Malia can make excuses all she wants but she's in charge of the deck crew and so if David is injured, it's on her that she didn't report it to Captain Sandy. I have a sneaking suspicion that if everything with Lexi had not gone down at the same time, Sandy wouldn't have been so harsh on her pet but Malia had it coming. All these people drink like they're in the green room of the Jerry Springer Show but if they didn't, I guess they wouldn't bring the drama.

Which one?

It's taken me two days to post because I had to do some healing after hearing Lisa talk about milking a prostate or whatever. Ugh. Whatever kinky shit y'all get up to, Lisa, PLEASE for the love of baby Jesus, keep it to yourself. (And girl, based on what you did let slip, I would want more than a minivan too.) Deonte, please grow a spine and be at least as much of a man as Lisa. You don't need to talk to Nicolle about anything. Shut her phone off, burn Nicolle, Jr. and consider it a lesson learned for all concerned. She's a ho who is using you for your bank account. If nothing else, listen to your friend who, outside of the pets, is the smartest person on this show. I have to admit that I thought Tia was a guy in the previews. So why can't Brittany just tell Ray that her family has an issue with him having a record and they'll need to take it very slow with them? Girl, get a t-shirt made up that says that. You have a shirt for every other occasion. Ray's family seems decent and nice and Ray seems like he's focused on getting his life together. Doug just gives me the willies. Period, end of story. I appreciate that he has a job but please stop complaining about being hot or whatever because it has to be better than being locked up. Of course we have yet another LAL former inmate who's got to go to some hapless store owner and explain how they just got out of prison. Excuse me, Doug. The man with a bunch of diamonds may not feel super secure with you, knowing that you've just gotten out of prison. I guess at least Doug didn't tell him the longest he's ever been out of the pokey was 40 days. I was laughing like an idiot over Doug choosing the Remember the Crime Victims bench as the perfect spot to officially propose to Rachel. Now, I've never been to Detroit, have no idea bout 8 Mile but there looked to be other green areas that would have made a better proposal site than a memorial to murdered people. Just saying. And of course Rachel said yes and of course Doug is smiling and grinning over "social media" (what's her name?) Over at Angela and Tony Part 2's lot, Jeff has discovered that you can actually order shit online and they deliver it to you within two days! (And Anissa should be discovering that giving Jeff her credit card is a HUGE mistake.) So Jeff has ordered a drone on Amazon since he can't leave their property and this will allow him to see the world. If you see a random drone out your window, it's likely Jeff in his quest to see the world. What Jeff really needs to do is see about some teeth he can receive in two days. Anyhow, Anissa points out that there is a stack of Amazon packages on the front porch, compliments of Jeff and her credit card, and that he pretty much spends his days ordering shit and gambling online. Anissa, Anissa, Anissa. Girl, once he's maxed out your credit cards, he's going to be online with other women (if it's not already happening.) If Doug -- DOUG -- can get a job, surely Jeff can too. Or does he also ghost employers? Anyway, Angela's friend Tommy Anissa's friend Kyle is tired of Jeff's shit and tells Anissa Jeff's secret, along with his opinion that the timeline doesn't add up and he thinks this supposed child is younger than 18. We do too, Kyle. Jeff is tired of Kyle interfering, thinks it's none of Kyle's business (maybe you shouldn't have told him, genius) and then promptly flies his drone into a tree. You can pick them, Anissa. At least if Jeff and Kyle get into that seemingly inevitable fight, Kyle will only have about three teeth to knock out. So next week is the season finale? Huh? This seemed very short. We haven't seen hardly anything on Pickle and Josh. The previews . . . ummmm . . . how is putting Kristianna in a hat and vest dressing her up like Bonnie Parker? She looked absolutely disgusted. You would think John would learn from putting her on the spot with the truck bed wedding last time. And did Lacey say that she and Chane had been having sex six times a day? Or were my ears still traumatized from Stan and Lisa? If she did, okay, Samantha Jones, cool your jets. Y'all have like a half dozen kids and somebody in that house has got to be working. OF COURSE it seems that Lacey is on the phone with Chon. I look forward to two hours of fuckery on Friday!

So Erika is upset because what she told Garcelle about Tom calling her constantly was in confidence? You know, other than the camera crew that was FILMING IT. I'm guessing Erika was upset because what she told Garcelle doesn't mesh with what she told the other ladies about how she's had no contact with or from Tom since she jumped on her Huffy bike back in November. Girl, bye.

I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this. This is not only the first time you see your stranger spouse but their families and all they're going to see is boobs (because that's all I can see.) The dresses wouldn't be so bad if they weren't cut down so low. It reminds me of tacky Kim Zolciak and her desire to show side boob on her wedding day. Klassy. That said, Bao looked absolutely gorgeous. In fact, her wedding day look may be my favorite in all of MAFS history.

I wholeheartedly agree. Other than Dougie, the only people I like on the show are the pets.

Bravo's casting decisions have never been more clear. Make sure every crew member is willing to drink as if they are going to obliterate their liver in one sitting and then wait. It worked on Jerry Springer. So Matt drank so much that he can't remember why he was angry and stormed off the boat? Lexi drank so much she not only cannot remember what she said to, basically, everyone but why she was mad? I guess she doesn't remember stating several times that she was Satan as she crawled into her coffin -- I mean, her bunk. I think Sandy made the right decision with regard to Matt. While his food was apparently good, he's just not reliable and you certainly can't have that on a chartered luxury yacht. (Matt, maybe this is a wake-up call for you to stop drinking.) I disagree 100% with Sandy's decision (assuming it's her decision) on Lexi. When a crew member is telling her direct supervisor to fuck off, is calling a deckhand a slur and is telling the ship's bosun to stand the fuck down, she's got to go. There is no redeeming that in my book. And that's not including her putting her hands on Mzi and on Lloyd. Honestly, WTF was Lexi so angry about anyway? I get the impression she's a spoiled, entitled little twit who's been coddled and skated by her whole life because she's been told she's pretty. (She is pretty but man, does she have an ugly spirit and soul.) She's clearly offended that not only does she have to pay for her own meals but she is actually expected to work and not just stand around and look pretty. I think Katie is a great chief stew but I would pay good money to see Kate eviscerate her. Choosing the path Sandy did, telling Katie to work with her and deal with it, sends the message to Lexi that she's probably always gotten -- she can do no wrong and it's always someone else's fault. If Sandy wasn't going to fire her, she should have at least told her in no uncertain terms that if she puts her hands on another crewmember again and/or she verbally assaults anyone, her mean-girl ass will be dropped at the closest dock or pier and she can take herself right back to her $8G a month condo in Miami.

I've never been on a luxury yacht (and I would think the same of some of the folks on this show) so forgive my ignorance but is it norm to have one chef to cook for all the crew and all the guests? If that's true, it's a bit ridiculous. It's not like the crew and guests are eating the same and I would be annoyed at never getting a break, nor having back up. That said, Matt was absolutely, positively in the wrong to jump on his Huffy bike and pedal away without telling Sandy. Sure, Sandy can be annoying and I still haven't forgiven her for Kiko, but she is his boss and if he's the only chef, that jeopardizes not only the next charter but potentially the season. Not cool, Matt. I wonder if it was more the alcohol talking than anything else - although he did seem pretty pissed that he had to cook for the crew. Does the chief stew not meet with the chef to go over guest preferences and what to order, etc.? Bravo, please stop with the mics in the bathroom. Not necessary. This was clearly the week for sloppy drunks, starting with Orbinson, Jr. and continuing on to Lexi. At least O, Jr. left the boat. Lexi can follow. She's disgusting. She takes mean girl to a whole new level. When I'm taking Malia's side and almost feeling sorry for her, whoever is forcing me into Malia's corner has got to go. What Lexi did to Lloyd is assault. Period. And from the previews, it looks like she hits Mzi, who has got to be one of the nicest people we've ever seen on BD. I would assume under normal (i.e., non-reality tv) situations, that act will get her fired. (Although telling your chief stew to F off seems like a fireable offense as well.) Katie continues to be an awesome chief stew. I am sorry for Courtney and the situation with her dad but her laugh is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Cringey. OF COURSE both David and Lloyd "like" Malia. They both immediately lose points from me for that alone. Malia is not the be-all, end-all. Frankly, that ugly tattoo would turn me away but I digress. We don't need some phony love triangle from TPTB in order to showcase their little sweetheart. Marten is totally hot. I thought the scene with the kids playing hide and seek on the boat was cute. That's all I've got.

I'll absolutely, positively read Kim's book. As soon as I can preorder it, I'm there. She's a nut but she's been in Hollywood a very long time and I'm sure she knows all kinds of dirt.

I had to check out my window after watching this episode for the pigs flying by because, outside of the Thomasina comment, I am really enjoying Kathy. She breaks the tension with her humorous comments and her (shall we say) naivete. Well done, Kathy. (But please stop calling Sutton Thomasina). I guess stirring the pot runs in the family because Kyle pulled out her spoon with the question on whether Amelia was traveling with Lord Disick. I'm pretty sure Lisa said last week that Harry wasn't too thrilled about the Hamlin, Jr./Disick hook up so unless you're trying to start something, Disick shouldn't have been brought up at all. But of course Kyle is happy to have someone in the hot seat so long as it's not her. I loved how Harry told Dorit and Kyle that Lisa had done nothing to prepare for the party she planned. Ha! Erika, I don't think anyone is going to feel sorry for you in your $10K a month rental. Sutton really had no business criticizing Crystal's leather pants (or anyone's outfit) while wearing that dress and she's way over-emotional but Crystal is a total smug asshole for someone who's only accomplishment appears to be marrying very well and spitting out two kids so I have to take Sutton's side on that count alone.

Move over and make space for me, @Caseysgirl, because I was feeling the same. Loving your family is one thing but she was beyond hysterical. That is NOT normal, and especially not from a 13 year old. I found myself feeling sorry for Mauricio being in this family full of criers and overreactors. I guess Portia will have a full-on breakdown when Sophia has to go back to school following the Christmas break? I love Garcelle. I didn't think I would like Kathy but her don't-give-a-fuck attitude is pretty damn funny. Mazel tov, Dorit! Ha. Shut up, Crystal.

Exactly what I thought too. She's putting on yet another performance. I have to wonder if they are worried about their own skeletons coming out of the closet. Who knows what Erika may know or have heard?

From the article @Persnickety1 linked. So Tom had a combined $130 million per his deposition testimony and it's all gone? Where the ever loving f*ck did $130 million go for two damn people?? That is INSANE. So Erika was subpoenaed to be deposed twice, in May and then again in September, two months before she filed for divorce and yet she knew nothing about lawsuits against Tom? Bitch, please! How many wives are subpoenaed to give depos about the assets they share with their husbands? My guess is that the "relationship of trust" etc. is code for "the bitch didn't return our calls, didn't provide us with documentation and didn't listen to us so we're out." The airing of the documentary probably has her running scared and so she finally listened to her attorneys, so they withdrew the motion to withdraw.

I wonder how many partners at Tom's firm knew about that $20 million loan? Both Tom and Erika will have to answer to that loan in a bankruptcy hearing. Tom won't be able to say he just gave his wife a $20 million loan. He'll have to show documents, how it was going to be repaid, etc. and explain if there are no documents. They will also have to explain exactly what that money was for and not just some vague reference to funding Erika Jayne and her "career." How long before the other Ho'wives start being honest in their confessionals? They are all being supportive of her at this point but surely once they hear the deets and realize what Tom and Erika have done, they will change their opinions. These are some of the victims they stole from, who lost loved ones in a plane crash. The money these folks should have received for losing a loved one instead went to fund Erika's monthly $40K glam squad bill.

Honestly, I was going to be out this season but I came back, five episodes in, for Giselle and to watch the Erika/Tom drama unfold. Erika's house was my least favorite out of all the BH Ho'wives. It seemed so impersonal, with no warmth or charm. It didn't feel like anyone actually lived there. The rental shown in the last episode is far more to my taste, although I think it's disgusting that two bedrooms for her wardrobe, shoes and bags are still not enough space. Girl, bye. As someone who has worked in the legal field for more than 20 years, @lasu is right. Whatever Tom got up to, his assistant would know. Maybe not every little detail but the meat and potatoes? You bet. And there's no way another partner, like the president of the firm, or the head of the firm's accounting department didn't know. Tom isn't a sole practitioner. There's other people see those documents, that those documents go through before everything is said and done. If Erika is listed as secretary on those docs, she's considered an officer. She's in deep shit. She signed docs. She can't play stupid and say she didn't read them and just signed. That's no excuse. You never sign a legal doc without reading. Ask Teresa. And if they are buying and selling things during a bankruptcy proceeding, more deep shit unless they have specific permission to do so. I find Erika's "woe is me, Tom was so mean" slant complete bullshit. She was fine with him while he was footing her $40K monthly glam bill and financing Erika Jayne. I also don't believe for a moment they were having these wonderfully deep and insightful conversations until he closed up and she was forced to leave. Bitch, please. I believe that as much as I believe you drove him to work, said "I love you" and then went home and packed your stuff, got on your Huffy bike and rode away. Nope. And you're going to wait 90 days before setting your kitty free on some unsuspecting male(s)? Why 90 days? Is your kitty quarantined? I'd be surprised if Erika's kitty wasn't saying hello to others during her marriage.

I agree that Samuel the cat is the best person on this shit show. Why on earth was Courtney lying behind a concrete divider in an empty parking lot in a pickle suit? Did she think the image of a dead and slaughtered pickle was going to turn Josh on? (Is that even his name? I honestly am not sure because I'm not totally invested in anyone so far.) So Doug has only been jail-free for 40 days? 40 DAYS. Rachel, you need to have a Come to Jesus moment, stat. What's the over/under on Doug being back in jail within a month of his release? Yeah, Brittany, you made a bad situation worse by telling your family Ray wasn't going to be living with you. I'm sure they'll never know! (Especially since this is being filmed and all.) If Stan did put Lisa in his will, he's more idiotic than Daonte. As far as what's in his basement, I'm going to guess it's where previous toupees go to die. Or it's where he has all those kinky sexcapades. #SaveSamuel Nicolle is never, ever going to sleep with Daonte. Ever. She'll keep collecting money and things while giving him an excuse. Did they ever have any jail visits? Is this the first time they've ever seen each other in the flesh? I guess nothing says true love like an envelope full of money (and a pocket kitty named after you). We need Daonte's friend's input on this immediately.

So Daonte considers phone calls and sending money to Nicolle "dating." Okay. He seems nice enough so he's going to end up in bankruptcy and with his heart shredded. I guess at least he'll still have Nicolle, Jr. His friend is awesome though. I hope we see more of him. So Courtney (I think?) the former corrections officer is 30 and has been married 3 times? Girl. You're getting married just to get married. It sucks for you but I'm sure it will up our Friday night entertainment potential. Brittany (sp?) is clearly this season's candidate for announcing to the family she's dating an inmate. After she has gone to a store to buy new outfits, telling the store's employee that her boyfriend is getting out of prison. Do people do this in the real world or is this producer shenanigans? I would think that store employee, after hearing that Brittany is soon to be Mrs. Inmate, is eyeing that panic button and firearm she keeps under the counter. If that old guy has millions, I'm the Queen of England. I think he's using the word "dating" in place of pay-by-the-minute sex calls. Take note, Daonte. This will be you in the future if you're not careful. WTF is wrong with Rachel? She's an engineer so clearly she's intelligent and she makes good money. WTF is she trolling prisons for a man? Girl, you don't need a 7-foot tall tree named Doug to climb; you need a good therapist (and I don't mean Season 1 and 2 Angela from MS) Worse, she's already married him. I think we know this won't end well. I feel sorry for Dougie, who has been caught in the middle of a druggie mother and jailbird father. I hope that Doug won't enter the picture and began demeaning and talking down to Rachel, with Dougie following suit. When Rachel gets a therapist, she really needs to take Dougie too. Did I miss anyone? I can barely remember the names of these people so far. This show is absolute trashtastic gold. It makes me feel so much better about my own life decisions. p.s. - Wanted to add that I find Courtney's story of sneaking in to see her inmate ridiculous. We're supposed to believe that she put on different wigs while she was working as a corrections officer and no one recognized her? I'm fairly certain from having family members who work LE that you have to show ID in order to visit someone who's incarcerated. Did she get multiple fake IDs that weren't detected by the staff? No, I don't think so. My guess would be that Courtney had a coworker who was "helping" her to visit with her inmate who didn't get busted.

Had they seen none of the episodes or just not all? I thought maybe just not all. Regarding Haley -- totally agree. She knew she was signing up for an 8-week "experiment" so to give up on day 4 is something. And did she honestly expect an emotional connection 4 days in? Most people in the "real world" outside of reality tv and MAFS don't have an emotional connection 4 days in. I wouldn't just say her actions were short sighted but very juvenile as well.