BusyOctober

OMG!!! Did anyone watch "Since the day I was born"? What the effin' Hell? One abandoned baby is somewhat understandable for a scared and unready woman, but this lady is frickin' certifiable abandoning THREE babies. No reason for her behavior. Thank goodness each of those children were adopted and had loving families versus being in foster care. I'm sure the birth mom feels guilty, but she had multiple opportunities to tell her first abandoned kid the truth once she was found. I don't think I could be as forgiving as these 3 people. And how did she explain discarding 3 siblings to her 2 oldest sons?

Glad Dom won, even though I couldn't ever wear any of her pieces. Ken's was my next favorite, probably for the same reasons why he didn't win - safe, classic, wearable, commercial. Kini has never been a favorite for me, and I hated his Working Girl 80's disco glam stuff. I question his taste level (TM Nina Garcia). Does he ever wear anything not bedecked with Hawaiian flora & fauna? One thing that drove me crazy was the way all 3 of these guys pronounce their "S-T" words. They are all from different regions, but they all pronounce them as "SH-t". Every time one of them said "Street, Stress, Struggle, Construction..." they all said "SHtreet, SHtress,SHtruggle, ConSHtruction". I was so fruSHtrated, it was like nails on a chalkboard.

I feel sorry for this catfish scammed lady, but if I heard correctly, she didn't have any of her money stolen. I think the guy in Nigeria was using her bank account to launder money. Could be money to fund drugs or terrorism, but whatever it is, it ain't good for this woman if the Fed and State agencies decide to persue charges. While I do feel bad for these lonely and gullible people, how do they miss all the red flags?? The weirdly phrased texts and emails? The insistence that these heaven-sent suitors are really wealthy, yet can't afford to pay fees or buy a plane ticket? And this woman received phone calls but she couldn't detect the bizarre intonation on the other end? As soon as I heard the oh -so obvious computer generated voice, I said, "Why is Stephen Hawking cat-fishing people??"

The newest ad to send my blood pressure soaring is for some laundry additive to help stop some woman's yoga pants from smelling like yoga pants. She complains that even after washing them, the smell of "yoga" comes back. But thanks to adding something to the wash, the smell goes away. Huh? I expect my washing machine and the detergent to do the job of cleaning & and deodorizing my clothes. If my pants still smelled after laundry day, I'd try changing detergents or check if the washer is working ok. They are telling consumers they need 1) detergent, 2) fabric softener 3) bleach for whites 4) color safe bleach 5) stain removal spray, 6) dryer sheets, 7) aromatic beads to cover up the remaining odors these products didn't wash away. This doesn't include the additional product required to eliminate the mold & stench built up in very expensive front-loading washers. Or maybe this woman needs to invest in better personal deodorant and body wash if she stinks up her clothes so badly.

So happy this show is back! And now with John Slattery and Hugh Laurie? Whoo! I am going to try work "go fuck a bag of glass" into my conversation everyday. Selina & Ben always have the best "fuck off" lines, but this one really made me laugh.

Oh where to begin with this week's pitches... Can someone tell me what the Zoey Deschannel wanna be does for work? I must have missed it because all I could hear was bloggerbloggerblogger every time she opened her mouth. I think her idea is one that the bigger tech companies will have soon. I hate that Googles McInsta-Uber was right about that, but she is a very tiny hippy guppy in an ocean of full of hipster fish with a lot more resources to make the "tap & buy" thing a reality. I am baffled by the edible sticker thing. I was distracted during their very sad pitch, so I probably missed if this was brought up....I buy the stupid sticker and rub it on melon slices or pieces of broccoli to entice my picky eater to eat it? What's preventing the kid from just peeling off the sticker, eating that and tossing the "healthy" part of the snack? And even though it's next to impossible, I try very hard to avoid products with characters on them (Disney Princesses, Sponge Bob, Elmo, etc). Parents can get their kids to eat/sleep/dress without cartoons emblazoned all over stuff. And am I the only one who thought "acid tabs" when these guys showed the sticker sheets? If the current and future generations of parents feel they need to witness and/or share every waking moment of their special snowflake's day, then the market will continue to support devices like the toddler surveillance app. I like the idea of getting an update on what my kid did all day in preschool, but my daycare center provided that. We got a daily sheet of what activities they did, child's behavior and what she ate when I picked her up. We also got a weekly newsletter emailed to let us know about the lesson plans and upcoming events. Meh to the umbrella idea. I'm sure I'd appreciate it if I were caught un-umbrelled, but I don't know enough about business plans to know if it's viable.

Another entry for Ken-to-English dictionary" "assessorize". I know he means "accessorize" but maybe it was a Freudian slip? As in "How do I work cheap ass Bauble Bar jewelry and shitty Chinese Laundry shoes work in my design? I need a minute to assessorize my options for these product placement, sponsored accessories." I hope if All Stars continues there is a rule put into effect that bans repetitive use of materials or garments. Only ONE raggedy neoprene jumpsuit with awkwardly placed mesh per designer per season please.

I want to know if the good doctor or any qualified professional has done an evaluation of catfish girl's IQ or looked at a brain scan. She came across as mentally challenged to me. The inappropriate laughter, the weird affect, her dazed wide eyed stare, the lack of appropriate response or understanding of her actions and potential consequences all make me think she has suffered some kind of brain injury. The mom seemed "off" as well. Between this young lady and Drunkie McDrunkerson the other s show is getting closer to Maury/Jerry Springer territory every episode.

I guess "The Entertainer" music is part of the public domain now. I think that's the first time I heard familiar, popular (at one time) music used in a dance. I laughed when I heard it b/c it brought me back to the 70's. I did a dance routine AND a baton twirling routine to that tune waaaay back then. And I love the movie "The Sting", so whichever mom made fun of the music can shove it. Melissa is so delusional. Her kids may have jobs booked, but no one booked HER. I think it's hysterical that only one of the mini-moms caught Melissa's utter contempt for the sad, pathetic, untalented, non-Ziegler kids who have to be on a "competition" team because they can't get movie deals. I can't wait for Melissa to haul her extensions off the set of this show.

For all of Josh's hootin' and hollerin' over his (lucky break) landing on the crab last week, he still hasn't proven he is a "Captain". I'd like to see Josh attempt what Jake did-navigating through shallows in a channel full of rip tides with only one engine. That requires skill and nerves of steel. But since Josh couldn't even face Bill over his own brat behavior in the ring delivery debacle, we all know Josh has nerves made of jellyfish guts. More & more I find myself just FF'g through any of the CM scenes. I really like Keith and I hope he comes through his personal challenges OK. Poor Edgar...that's got to be demoralizing to pull empty pot after empty pot. Didn't his son go out with them last year? The kid looks familiar but they mentioned several times it was his first trip. I sear I've seen Eric on the NW before.

I know it's a lifestyle and SoCal culture, but I have a hard time taking a 50-60 year old man seriously when I hear him using "surf speak" . But I'm a buttoned up, New England Yankee who only gets to enjoy the beach 3-4 weeks a year, so I know I'm not the target audience for this business.

Does Bethenny Frankel know Robin is using her logo? Robin's logo is just a close up of the head of Bethenny's Skinny Girl. Which is a derivative of the Barbie silhouette logo. Girly gum??? Isn't Robin the champion of empowering women? How does girly themed gum give a woman power? "Oh, my abusive spouse is coming home drunk from the bar in 10 min! I had better grab me a big ol' chunk of Chickie Chew so I can summon up the courage to pack up and leave the bastard!"

WHY for the love of God is that pervy, letchy, skeevy, no talent pedophile Doug the Human Slug going into the "Mother/Daughter" therapy house?!? My skin crawls when I see him. If I were any of the moms, I'd be outta there with my girl in tow. He is vile. Christa is just as sick- a known whack job who has somehow impressed on her daughter that she only has value as a sex object. Every move Courtney makes is as if she were starring in some live action 24 hour a day porno. The pouting baby voice, the skimpy clothes, the slithering out of chairs and her cartoon boobs...her mother and her weirdo AARP card carrying husband have helped make Courtney the pathetic creature she is. I guess what we saw in this episode was Natalie's attempt at an Emmy reel? WTF is wrong with her? She spends all day telling everyone she's not a "bad girl" then rants all night like the bully she always shows herself to be. And what's with the clapping as she yells in people's faces? Is that some behavior control attempt? Or a dog training technique? If anyone ever clapped at me while drunkenly shrieking, it wouldn't make me come around to see the logic of theirargument. Is she still married to that poor SOB she dragged on the Marriage Bootcamp show? If I remember right, when they were wrapping up that hot mess, she said she and what's his name were trying to get pregnant...she needs a lot mere deep therapy and a personality transplant before she should even consider taking on a goldfish, never mind a live human being.

I thought the headphones were stupid and ridiculously expensive. They didn't look high-end to me, and no one tested the sound quality. I suppose there is some niche market of people who have enough discretionary income to spend on sparkly headphones. But then why not go for the exclusive angle and add Swarovski crystals or semi precious gems? Are these headphones accented with real gold or silver? I doubt it because they looked very dollar store "gold-colored" to me. if I had the cash laying around, I'd buy a set of Bose. And I don't need them bedazzled. I don't even know what to say about the Bluetooth snake necklace thingy beside blergh or fugly. Then this morning I was walking through Target (as one without a Swarovski studded wallet does), and there in the electronics section what do I see but a display of headphones with interchangeable,customizable blingy covers...by Bauble Bar. Add me to the list of folks irked by the poor pitiful engaged couple who "couldn't" get married without a deal. Her mom gave them $10k towards a wedding. They opted to invest in the business. Those two dopes made a choice on how to use the money. Welcome to adulthood! People make (more difficult) choices everyday where their money goes & then work through the consequences. Unless you are a millennial...then you just start a Go Fund Me page to get other people to pay shit you want and can't afford.

Per Sam, the authority on Massachusetts seasonal trends, "everyone" wears seersucker in summer...you would expect to see it all over "the Cape, in Boston..." Well, I am also from Mass, and when I think of seersucker, I think of baby clothes. The last time I personally wore seersucker was in 1974. It was a romper my mom made from a Simplicity pattern, sewn on a machine she picked up at the S & H Green Stamp Store. The only time I can remember seeing seersucker on an adult was in the movie "Jaws" (1975). So, not so much with the Summer of Seersucker Sam. I hated Kini's. Those pants looked they were made out of thousands of discarded Werther's wrappers. At least it wasn't denim. I did like Ken's, even if it was another damn jumpsuit. It looked very basic, but it looked the most wearable (if I were 18, and 6'2" with no boobs, butt or hips)

I know it is unkind to snark on children, but I can't stand little Joe. I don't think he's adorable or cute in anyway. If a child actor cannot enunciate clearly, do not give him lines until he can. Now, I'll just be over here, packing myself into a hand basket for my trip to Hell...

Christa is a complete nut job, as in certifiable. She needs intensive real therapy, not tv therapy. It's obvious she is stunted emotionally and sexually. She is a narcissist. Maybe she was molested as a kid and seeks out inappropriate sexual attention. The whole revelation that she has been "emotionally attached" to her teenage daughter's boyfriend seals my arm chair narcissism diagnosis. All her TH's are about HER feelings, how men are flocking to flirt and proposition HER, how HER "business" and "career" (cough-cough) are affected. I think Courtney is damaged too, but the best thing she can do is distance herself from her scumbag husband and her deranged delusional mother. Run like the wind into the light!

I don't watch any of the show's Aisha Taylor is on, but I have seen her in interviews and found her to be interesting and likeable. After watching her for an hour, I think I'll stick to enjoying her in small doses. I was getting annoyed by the fast paced way she spoke & how she repeated "Hancock" eleventy billion times. That said, I am jealous of her style and her long perfectly manicured fingers! I wish she was able to go back a little further or looked into another relative. I appreciate that is can be very difficult for African Americans to go back very far.

I don't know fashion lingo nor do I speak sports, but hearing AM repeat nonsensical, words in a blender speak like "atheleisure" and "fly my team colors" made me yell out loud at my tv, "Just because you keep saying it doesn't make them real words!". And what is up with her breathy manner of speech? Girl can't finish a sentence without running out of air! Did her OB leave an extra baby up in her rib cage? Is her stylist stuffing her into six sizes too small Spanx? Maybe she has a degenerative diaphragm disease? At least her hair looked good... Sam is getting more precious every week and Isaac is all.over.that. Just slip the kid the spare key to your apartment and get on with it. Sam will make a wonderful pet. He should be very glad that Nina Garcia isn't judging this go round. I can see her coolly looking down her nose and telling Sam, "I question your level of taste." Kini was a favorite of mine on his season, but the ego & smugness factors have just gone off the charts for me now. But his coat was the best thing up there. Bye Layana....I will not miss your giggling runway descriptions of "your girl". Was anyone else disappointed Ken's two seconds of drama wasn't more explosive?

OMG....I was wondering how many babies Miz Susannah will be birthin'. Looks like she's 19 months pregnant. Either that or there's a big twist coming.. She's actually a conductor on the Underground Railroad and she's smuggling slaves all up in those hoop skirts. I didn't miss the abolitionist couple one bit. They drag the story down IMO. I'd rather spend time with the Macon 6 and the people on the plantation. When Christopher Meloni was trying to convince Rosalie he could help her if she got in his wagon, I couldn't help think that character could be Det. Stabler's nefarious great great great grandfather. Slave hunter grandpa was the predecessor to the creepy guys in white vans, coaxing kids with candy or lost puppy stories Stabler felt compelled to hunt down 150 years later while working cases for SUV!

Yolanda's Friendship Manifesto must be something she put together during one of her Lyme brain fogs. Anyone with 78% brain function would recognize her expectations are insane. According to Yo, anyone who is deemed a candidate (Tribute??) and granted admission into her lemon scented realm needs to remain by her side 24/7/365 & to infinity and beyond during her chronic health crisis. Calling, sending flowers, visiting, bringing meals, etc. for a mere 4,5,6 weeks is not good enough! To earn the hard-won, rare, highly coveted title of Yolanda Hadid-Foster-Hadid's "friend", one should expect to drop all familial, professional and social obligations. This is required in order to be ready for any incoming FaceTime pings (transmitted upside down while laying in bed, wearing a robe but no makeup) that HRL (Her Royal Lymeness) will not be receiving guests today, (but be on stand-by in case she needs a ride to this week's cray-cray homeopathic "cure" appointment). Now that I'm clear on what it takes to be considered HER friend, I'd like to know what she does to be a friend to someone else. Of course that list would be hypothetical because she hasn't been able to spell, write or hold a pencil in 14months.

Michael Jackson's glitter glove was a tribute to his love of baseball??? So I guess that means he invented the "moonwalk" as an homage to his other passion...golf. That group dance sucked. And if it was supposed to evoke Michael Jackson, why were they all wearing #42? That # makes me think of Jackie Robinson (someone who actually DID love baseball and did so much for the game). Good gravy, why is that wildebeest Chisty back? Kendall is definitely getting more bratty. Jill is once again saying and doing ridiculous things. Everybody knows if the situation were flipped, Jill would have jumped all over Kendall "earning" or "deserving" the solo. There is no way in hell Jill or Kendall would have told Abby, "Oh my goodness, NO! We couldn't ever take away the solo from JoJo!" So how long it will be after Melissa leaves Dance Moms before she shows up on a D-list "celebrity" "reality" show? Has anyone started that pool yet? My bet is 2018, Melissa and Mack on VH1 "Family Therapy with Dr. Jen".

Ummm...were there no mirrors in Matthew Perry's dressing room? WTF was that hair-don't? And I think his years of addiction took its toll on his ability to speak clearly...or he's still using. He sounded slurry to me. Or like he was over-enunciating in some spots. I hope he's OK...I always had the biggest crush on Matthew Perry & thought "Chandler" was my soul mate.

It's a good thing Sister Julienne and Nonantus House are progressive thinking nuns. If the idea of women being photographed in leotards was shocking, I can't imagine the first reaction if/when the Sisters discover Patsy & Delia's secret. Fortunately, they seem to have a very open minded stance on a lot of issues. They've dealt with incest, addiction, inter-racial relationships, teen pregnancy, prostitution, mental illness, birth defects etc. If they can see the humanity in all of these patients and be empathetic, loving and compassionate, I have high hopes the Sisters will be able to handle homosexuality. Tom is an idiot if he thinks he can date Barbara without causing major drama.

The tropical environment is not wound friendly, but I think their lack of vitamins contribute to the horrible infections too. I'm glad Neal is gone. I found him to be a smug as Peter. He kept talking about how the Brawn tribe were bullies. Scot & Jason might be loud mouths and physically larger, but I don't recall seeing any intimidation or bullying going on. And if he was so worried about them, why did he target Aubrey to go before them? Wouldn't it make sense to get rid of one of them since they could potentially win more IC's? Please tell me crazypants Debbie isn't being groomed as the unlikeable goat to take to the end? I can't take much more of her TH's about what a "balls to the wall" strategist she is.