SuburbanHangSuite

I really like Joe but what was he thinking? Maybe it was editing but his random cloth painting while people were plotting his departure? Pure laziness. Or arrogance. Actually both. Ugh, Wentworth is such a cockroach. I really thought she'd be gone this week. I'm sick of Aubry and her overly dramatic self too. The wily chickens are the best part of this stupid season.

Her match against Whitney Osuigwe was specifically what made me log in and comment on her behavior. Osuigwe is 16 years old, only playing in maybe her 2nd or 3rd big tourney and Collins came out expecting to dominate her. When it wasn't playing out that way, she started SHRIEKING and screaming, "COME ON!!" and all kinds of theatrics including racquet slamming that definitely read as an intimidation tactic toward Whitney. As theatremouse described it, "It reads like a threat. She seems genuinely angry." She was pissed that this young, upstart was hanging with her game for game and her behavior was beyond unsportsmanlike. Poor Whitney let the magnitude of the moment overwhelm her and she lost a 1st set tie-break after having the set on her racquet. Her dad came out to give her a pep-talk after the set loss but it didn't help---she was so dejected. Poor baby---she's got a big future ahead of her. Collins? May she crawl back to the depths of irrelevance from whence she came.

So I didn't think it was possible to dislike a player more than Coco Vandeweghe but I guess that's why there's the saying, "Never say never." Danielle Collins. That bitch is unhinged. Seething hate.

I guess I've only been half-paying attention on previous episodes because I was completely baffled about that advantage and who gave it to her. My Wentworth hate grows exponentially with each passing week. And does my Survivor EoE disinterest. And I'm also a Day 1 viewer. This makes me sad. Yeah, Wentworth, you miserable bitch. That "girl" is the only reason you didn't lose another Immunity Challenge since he's the one who solved the pyramid puzzle. Joey Amazing really does deliver the goods, doesn't he? And I want to dislike him but I just can't. He's good at everything, eye-candy and so damn likeable. So I think I might be pulling for him. And then there's Wendy. That whole performance at Tribal Council made me squirm. The giggling, laughing and forced glee about her vote out---I was really sick of her act which is a shame because she seemed to be one of the stronger challenge performers. WarDog. Come on, Man.

THIS!!! I'm used to her nibbling on the various dishes but she was straight-up GRUBBING on everything out there---shoving whole shrimp into her mouth, two-fisting the kabobs, great big bites of sandwich---it was genuinely bizarre. I guess the food at the sober house is way lacking. Yeah, one of her biggest problems is her husband. You cant get yourself right when you're obsessed with your cheating husband. He's scum! He obviously doesn't care about her. He's using her like always. Y'all ain't never lie. The idea of her sleazy, abusive husband living his best life with his side chick on Wendy's money just makes me all kinds of stabby.

Quoting myself just to say, "I spoke too soon. The crazy is still in full effect."

Monfils, I will NOT allow you to get my hopes up despite that ass-whupping you laid on Kohlschreiber. But maybe the new coach and new girlfriend have tamed the crazy.

OK, I'm thinking you might be the only one 'round these parts who can start a sentence with, "When I lived in Tonga..."! How cool. Color me jealous.

I've been indifferent about Wentworth in her previous appearances but I really can't stand her this season. Permanent resting bitch face, indeed. That whole "talking about Joe while he's hiding in plain sight" was just the cringiest thing I've seen in a long time. Like a lot of you, I'm bored. Last season was really some big shoes to fill.

That Kama Dance was one of the best things I've ever seen on this show. I was mightily disappointed that they didn't break it out at the challenge. Keith. Bless his heart. Maybe he'd just better take the right fork in the road and call it quits.

Did he make a decision? I've been so sick of his shit over the past 2 weeks---I'm over it. Was convinced he was just jerking the Phils around until he chose a West Coast team.

Yo... Finally catching Creed II On Demand after I missed it in theatres. This scene with Rock and his son? Made me feel like Sly should've received another Supporting Actor nod since he was robbed of the last one.

I'm one of the few people in Philly who actually liked Reid as a coach so I find myself defending him when people run him down. I totally agree that he can't clock manage to save his life but he's more than good enough to have multiple championship wins. No one will ever convince me otherwise that the Eagles loss in SB 39 wasn't a direct result of cheating. As for his other losses? The NFC Championship loss against AZ in '09 was squarely on the defense---just like the Chiefs sickening loss to the Pats this year. But I get it. The head coach gets the glory and takes the blame.

Nope. She can't. And that is really hilarious considering the fugly dreck she's usually wearing at any given time. But I did get a good chuckle out of her telling Michelle that every one of her fabrics looked like a curtain in a cheap hotel room. Sean and his stupid fringe is back. Am I being punked? How was that garment a win? Shady Dmitry is the best. "It's a form of flattery...copying. I'm very flattered." HEE!!!

Right? And forget "best of the night." That ad could be in the "Best Ever" category. I knew a bunch of the players but I straight-up squealed when I saw Barry Sanders. And my very favorite? Ed Reed. The hair. The fly jacket. Perfection. Well done, NFL. (A phrase you don't hear every day.)

I just snorted / cackled so hard! Maybe you should fill in for Wendy, Patty1H. Because this Nick Cannon substitution is painful. He is such an unfunny try-hard---it's hard to watch. Every other line referencing his delusional sexual prowess. Or trying to act "hood." But those pizza kids were cute. And Cynthia Bailey? Gorgeous!

Awwwwww, Juli. I'm sorry you're gone. I loved your personality and I could listen to you say, "Cheeky Monkey" for hours and still be tickled. I cannot stand Michele and I'm pissed that they gave her a win. Of those top 3, I thought it should've been Anthony Ryan all day. But then, I would've put Sean in the top. I don't even like Sean and it's the second week in a row that he created something I loved. I adore Dmitry but that peasant look is getting old. Django. Heh. I am living for his Anne disdain---I share it with him.

I'm not sure I needed Halle Berry added to this mix, but ok. My Keanu love will have to outweigh my Halle "meh."

Marlo getting k-o'd by Eva was worth the price of admission this week. She had NO SMOKE to give back and the other ladies low-key laughing made it all the funnier. I swear, Porsha just cracks me up. The look on her face when a beaten Marlo flipped her raggedy ponytail over the seat? The commentary about how the guide was looking for an Uber to get the hell off that tour bus? The comment about the geisha's lace-fronts? Girl is hilarious and I just want to hang out with her and be the new Frack to her Frick. But the MVPs of this episode were the two Japanese ladies who had to check these heffas. First the guide who was NOT PLAYING when she pulled out at 11:17. LOVE! I'm always the first to arrive and I have no tolerance for that deliberately late shit. "Black people be late?" FOH! No, we're not and the ones who like to embrace that stereotype like it's some badge of honor can kiss my on-time ass. The other lady at the geisha show asking them to keep it down gets all my love too. How you gonna walk in late and be rowdy?!

YEEESSSS, Naomi! That was worth my bleary-eyed, 3am rising!!

I really didn't understand the point of the lingerie models coming out at the beginning. Were any of them even wearing a corset? Was that just a cheap way to advertise for AdoreMe? Why not have those models be the models for this week? So many questions... Said every model there. Heehee. This reminded me of Top Chef-All Stars when Jamie Lauren (Top Scallop) nicked her finger and dramatically ducked out on a team challenge to go to the hospital. I was kind of expecting the same thing here with Michelle. And so much for her opinion of Dmitry's being the worst in the room. I just heart Dmitry so much. Michelle: "You're doing wide pant? So I am." Dmitry: "Then you do slim." I continue to love every single thing that the Canadian designer (Evan?) creates. He is my fav and I'm baffled how he's just remaining middle-of-the-pack. LOVE Django telling Anne that he will design what he wants, judges (and her opinion) be damned! But he can lay off on his "Future Classic" label every 5 minutes. Branding much? And finally, I really can't believe I'm saying this because I can't stand him but Sean's pinstriped look was all kinds of chic fierce.

I love how we all watch the same matches but have different perceptions. The thing that I've always loved and admired about Fed and Venus is their stoicism. I played tennis when I was younger and I was a complete nut who has been known to slam a racket or five. So I've always envied players who could keep their emotions in check, good or bad. I put Pliskova in this category. TheatreMouse telling no lies. As great a player as Serena is, her emotions will get her every time. I wonder if she was reluctant to call for the trainer since Sharapova got called out for her unsportsmanlike BS earlier in the tourney? If so, that's a shame. It was obvious that she tweaked her ankle. Sharapova was just getting steamrolled and tried to steal Barty's momentum with her cheating ass.

I am forever and always a Roger lover but this kid Tsitsipas is extremely likeable. I couldn't even be too upset when he won because he really played a masterful match. I think he'll be my heir to the Federer throne because Dmitrov and Monfils constantly disappoint me. Bye, Sloane. That serve let you down today.

I just caught up watching. I still dislike Anne and her critiques as much as I ever did. Did she really have the nerve to call one designer's garment tacky?? Anne, get thee to a mirror. Dmitry is comedy gold. Seriously. If they ever cast he and Anthony Williams in a season together, my heart couldn't take it. My favorite garments were Seth Aaron's and the Canadian designer who had the swoopy panels on his dress. Fabulous!! I really thought I was being punked with the Top choices this week. Sean's sad purple tassels were ridiculous and Anthony Ryan's "winning" design looked like a kid in Home-Ec class made a bad Knick-City dancer costume. And the shoes were dreck. AND his models hair looked like she pulled it up to wash her face. I can't with this judging if this is what we're getting this season.

Heh. And so accurate. Ever notice how they cut to the Crypt Keeper's owner's box at every possible opportunity when Dallas is up? But when they're losing? Crickets. I kept waiting for them to cut to a miserable Jerry Jones but no dice. I guess the Rams D keeping Elliot from doing that stupid "Feed Me" gesture will just have to be its own reward.