nutella fitzgerald

I think it’s just that all socks are long socks when My Little Pony is wearing them.

Oof, I felt bad for the parents who wanted a little bit of respite and immediately found themselves having to guide their kids out of earshot of Starcey and that one girl who flashed Tom on Whatsapp. “Cheers, bitches!” Close! David buys his hair. TLC really missed the boat on when to air the shocking tale of an airline passenger who wears a face mask and uses a ton of hand sanitizer over the course of a journey, huh? These two are a yawn. 😴

We need to set him up with Mindy from Married at First Sight!

How dare you. Her dad is black! This is why I will never stop side eyeing Tarik for accusing Hazel of having an abortion. He seriously could have messed things up for her. I did see many defenders of mayo as a hair treatment enthusing over how effective it is for dandruff. Oh, I think Rose is working very hard for that $4. Prince is definitely going to get a lesson in the importance of work ethic.

Huh. Well. I can’t lie, I would eat the lechon Jenny’s family made for Larry a million times before that.

Angela 100% would have caught Friends Sojaboy unsuccessfully hiding their laughter and forced them to walk home. Abuja Goofballs were absolutely the highlight of an otherwise unremarkable episode for me. Why was Lisa bitching about their presence? Not only are they completely hilarious (I can only paraphrase the “Can I hug Lisa?” “No.” “But I want to hug her.” “You can’t.” “Oooohhhh, Lisa!” exchange because I was laughing too hard to catch the exact words) but she wouldn’t have gotten to check all his teeth with her tongue if he’d had to drive them to the hotel.

Does the bisexual YouTuber (too uninteresting, already forgotten name) think we can’t tell she’s not 19 years old? At least when Darcey tries to act younger, it’s entertaining. I think Ed is a predatory creep banking on his (alleged) “fun” “personality” mitigating the perception of his truly gross activities (staying at the home where a woman half his age shares a bed with her not yet school-age child, packing a bunch of lingerie for said stay and acting like it’s a selfless gift for her, lying to her both outright and by omission) in his pursuit of Rosemarie. And I still can’t help but think “could be worse, at least she’s not with Geoffrey!”

I see Tom’s gout has returned. I commend him for not letting a little thing like that interfere with his attempts to do the Carlton dance.

Most likely a knockoff.

Doesnt Dr. P live separately from her spouse? I feel like I read that somewhere.

“My Sext Nigerian” was taken.

If only there were somewhere they could find a white woman who makes regular visits to Nigeria...

What was Baby Girl Lisa’s issue with the music video? At first I thought it was some Angelaesque wailing about a woman being on the premises of Usman’s work...but then, when she suggested that she play a “shadow or ghost” role, it seemed like she was more offended by the fact that she, specifically, wasn’t in the video? Lisa, you had your time to be in music videos, and that time was not in this century!

That’s what this century needed, another Lou Bega. Ed’s mayonnaise hair mask was classic Before the 90, in the grand tradition of Paul’s penis sheath and Darcey’s airport bathroom makeover. I respect that. But I will still never eat an egg salad sandwich for the rest of my life.

I’m surprised to find that Robert is apparently this season’s David - married to an Annie/Anny, complete and total mess in his own personal life, but actually demonstrating some level of brain activity at the Tell-All.

Is Atlanta Neil still single? I kind of feel like he would be evenly matched with Mindy’s particular style of weirdness. She doesn’t seem to be suited to being either the gardener or the flower in a relationship.

Is it a fair comparison given that you probably use more soap than Tania?

This wasn’t worth waiting two weeks for.

Was this show only an hour last season? Couldn’t they have bumped it to 90 minutes instead of going straight for two hours? Part of me wants to remind this show that it is no 90 Day Fiancé, but the rest of me realizes that might be intentional, since Pastor Cal is so vocal about their refusal to cast parents and impose this nonsense upon children.

Tobias: Well, I am off to buy the perfect present. Maybe she’d like a suit like this. Narrator: That is her suit. Tobias: They probably don’t make it in a woman’s though. Narrator: They only make it in a woman’s.

Have we discussed Anna’s alleged IG Live fail? She does seem extremely incompetent, so I personally am willing to believe she can’t fraud properly. But all the reports of her honey products being good are making me think that she might also be good at fabricating storylines after all?

I’m concerned that at some point, the rest of the world may notice that we aren’t sending our best and brightest to marry the citizens of their varied nations.

I believe it was Tristan from Season 7 who specifically mentioned a preference for lighter-skinned women. Unfortunately, he failed to request that his paper bag test-passing bride also have a clean criminal record, hence scammer Mia. I knew Michael wasn’t shit at the bachelor party, when the guys were talking about timelines for having sex and he harrumphed about “I don’t know!!!! #MeToo is a thing now, gotta leave it up to her!!!!” So sorry you’re inconvenienced by sexual predators being called out, Michael!

What was up with Grandpa Bryson in the preview for next week? Can Americans really just fill out some paperwork and get foreigners thrown out of this country now? Maybe that’s why Meghan and Harry picked Canada; who could blame Harry for not wanting to live with the constant threat of Grandpa Bryson picking up some form at the post office and then getting him deported?!

Well, yes, but no one is required to be a good musician, either. Yet Blake’s getting raked over the coals.