nutella fitzgerald

I’m partial to Darcey’s attempt to ride a bicycle, myself.

I just went and looked. At first I rolled my eyes at her saying “decorating my office” when she really should have used the phrase “thumbtacking pictures of myself to my cubicle walls” but then I remembered the filthy hovel that Eric called an “apartment” and it made sense.

Oh good grief. So she pulled Daniel out of school a month and a half into the school year? Or is he homeschooled?

Let the record show that I only had to threaten overdose for the sneak peek to be posted 😎

Does this mean I’m going to have to give this dumpster fire my full attention for two entire hours on Sunday night?! I’ve only built up a tolerance for an hour of garbage at once. Should I get Narcan in case I pass out at 9:15?

I really don’t think that experience with slums is entirely applicable to Sumit’s story. I know you said that TLC might be fudging the details on where he lives, but it was a pretty major point in his story that he was able to arrange a furnished two-bedroom apartment in Delhi before Jenny arrived. It’s possible that the subsequent months of rent came out of Jenny’s $6k, but he definitely paid the initial rent and deposit. If he has that kind of money lying around, he is not living in extreme poverty. Plus, if he were, you know Sharp Entertainment would have been all over it - think Hazel or Abby from Before the 90 Days.

My family is definitely not upper class, so I can say with certainty that while this isn't how it's universally practiced, it is not unique to the patrician families of the subcontinent. I also believe Sumit's family lives in Gurugram, which is a fairly modern city, rather than some unsophisticated village where they still practice the same traditions as my great-grandparents would have.

My heart just grew ten sizes at the thought of Drascilla terrorizing the streets of Seoul while shrieking in perfect Korean. Take some notes, Tiffany, this is how you do it.

But an arranged marriage isn’t the same as a forced marriage. Especially in 2019, most arranged marriages are much more similar in concept to blind dates than a Simba/Nala betrothal. The fact that Sumit even agreed to be on this show makes me think that he’s just a passive person who won’t say no even if he knows he’s heading for a shitstorm.

Wait so we never actually saw Deavan packing the ranch dressing?

I think Angela already tried asking the daughter, but she said no in spite of Angela’s tempting offer to tote it herself. Hence tagging in Mahkul to close the deal; sort of like the parallel universe version of asking your dad after your mom already said no.

I just got to the part where Jenny wails plaintively about how this shitshow isn’t Sumit’s fault. Honest question: whose fault does she think it is? I kind of feel like the only option that leaves is that it’s her own fault. I really don’t know if I’ll be able to watch sweet Daniel at the airport 😢

Keep in mind that Michael loves Donald Trump. Angela is probably a dream come true for him:

My boyfriend thinks Zied talks like Cookie Monster. “Me no like this!!!” Can someone explain to me why Ben is even considering sticking around to marry Akinyi? Is it just so that they can have sex without being doomed to eternity in hell?

I get that Mark is a real Noisy Nora every time he thinks someone is trying to defraud the American people with some woo, but Robert can take all the seats with his “ugh!!! I was gonna invest, but then I got high Mark started saying bad things. I’m out. Mark is a bad man! Everyone point at him.” Go out on the pitch, tell Mark he’s being an asshole, but don’t blame one thing for the other happening, guy. Kevin getting up and telling the spoon girl to sit in his seat did actually cut through to my icy little heart.

FIFY

I get that he had the Michael Jones profile in addition to his Real Sumit profile, but when he admitted to Jenny that he was Sumit and not Michael Jones, I don't think he had thought ahead to create a Fake Sumit profile. I just doubt he had the sense to anticipate having to cover up an eventual wedding and marriage, since at that point, he was still under the delusion that his parents would want a daughter-in-law their age. The picture of Jenny's first visit to India that's been floating around (the one with Mother Sumit and her BFF) was dated 2013, and when Sumit admitted to being married for two and a half years, Jenny had been camped out at the Delhi love nest for around five months. Earlier in the season, we saw Jenny celebrate an early Christmas with her daughters and grandkids because she would be in India on Christmas Day, so that puts Sumit's wedding date sometime in the fall of 2016.

You bring up a very good point! If Jenny and Sumit’s relationship was primarily Facebook-based, how would she have missed him being tagged in wedding photos or people posting congratulatory messages on his profile when he got married?

Tom also said “At least you wore sensible shoes” to Stacey in her sneakers while Florian was hauling Darcey all over the place. He’s such an asshole.

Oh, is it too much to hope for a similar altercation to erupt at this season's Tell-All? I never knew until this instant how badly I want to see Tim, Ben, and Caesar tasked with holding Angela back from squishing Rebecca, Darcey, or Avery like a bug under a dictionary.

You rang? Anyway, I could probably take Danielle. She had her chance, she can head right to the back of the line. Is Mother Pole the only person on this entire franchise who has seemed more competent and normal over the trajectory of all her appearances?

Free Aladin!!! I feel so bad for him, if he still wants a green card, slide into these DMs, m’boy! That camel tooth was weird.

If anything, they’re more likely to protest that they’re not drunk, what are you talking about, they’re fine! I mean, which is more likely to come out of Darcey’s mouth after a couple of those not-cucumber martinis?

I don’t mean to be crude, but does she not have nipples? What is going on there? Does this explain why Tom was wincing in pain when her breasts touched his injured ankle?