JocelynCavanaugh

I heard it, too. Inserting a reference like that in your vows to a stranger is... a choice. Mr. Worldwide! He always reminded me of Anthony Melchiorri from Hotel Impossible. Then HI did an episode at Hotel Fontainebleau in Miami and the housekeeping staff were all giggling and whispering in Spanish while he was talking to them. He finally stopped and asked them what it was about, and they were like "Pitbull! You look like Pitbull!" And I felt vindicated. Anyway back to MAFS. We call it crossing over to the Dark Side for a reason. New administrators sometimes try to keep that classroom cred and are all "I'm not a regular vice provost. I'm a cool vice provost." Sure, Linda. It's fine to move up and/or over into coaching or consulting, but Myrla's attitude about it is a bad sign. Sort of like her attitude about literally everything.

I noticed this discrepancy too. What a dumb thing to not only lie about, but brag and throw in others' faces. A bachelor's degree is nice, but it wouldn't mean she's on some other level from the rest of them, if it even exists. The outrageousness of her claims and insults and antisocial behavior (refusing to pay for her meal, rubbing herself on men who don't want it, the lamb pops thing) makes me wonder if she isn't seriously ill. She clearly struggles to get along with people yet doesn't see herself as the common denominator in her constant altercations.

I wasn't sure about Gil at first, but after the wedding, he really seems like a catch. My only hesitation would be the pit bull. I've heard all the arguments about mistreatment and nanny dogs, but I've also seen the stats. They kill more humans than every other breed combined. I'm not super interested in playing those odds, regardless of why it's happening. They could be intergalactic freedom fighters, avenging their ancestors from another dimension, but it doesn't matter if I don't have a face anymore. I also have cats who would never be safe in a home with any pit-type dog, but Myrla doesn't, even though it sounds like a cat named her, so not a problem there. She's just a sour, unpleasant person who thinks too highly of herself. I'm glad she doesn't have any pets! I also enjoyed Gil being able to speak to Myrla's mom, but I felt like she didn't seem that happy or relieved. In fact, she came across as rather unenthused or maybe bewildered by the whole event, but hopefully I'm misinterpreting. We haven't seen much of her, so I could be way off. With Zack/Michaela and Johnny/Bao, I kept getting whiplash from their responses during the weddings and receptions. Zack and Johnny both seemed mostly thrilled, but occasionally terrified. Michaela seemed almost totally thrilled, except her bizarre non-reaction to the crochet anecdote. Bao, I just don't have the same impression of her as most people and I don't want to seem like a troll, so I'll just... smile weakly. Ryan seems like such an utterly joyless person, but it could be grief. Maybe he wasn't always like that. I think Brett is gorgeous, but I'm a straight woman with notoriously unpopular taste in women, so feel free to ignore that.

This was so out of line! I can't believe she wasn't kicked off the boat immediately. No woman would be expected to tolerate that kind of assault, and the men shouldn't have to, either. I've only watched this season so far and most of BDM season 4, and I have never seen so many people claim to not remember everything they did when they were drunk! So much making out and fighting just lost to the darkness, but very few cast members willing or allowed to say "either you're lying or you have a serious problem with alcohol and need to get off the boat and get help." Agreed. In my totally amateur opinion, he probably has an anxiety disorder and maybe something else (Bipolar II?). Men are socialized to be "tough," so it's more likely to come out as aggression instead of weakness. That's unfortunate for Mat and everyone around him. From what I've seen or read here, he's one of the better chefs the show has had in terms of actual cooking, but not so great on the reliability and interaction parts. Lexi pegged him as beneath her and a potential mark to manipulate and it worked at first, but she didn't realize what she was stirring up. She seems to think of herself as some kind of sophisticated agent of intrigue but she's actually just a high school drama queen. When she was muttering to herself about how she "hates bitches" and only likes guys, I completed my Basic Bingo card and won some Chef Mila corn nachos.

Just FTR, I said the thing about Afrikaans before Mzi said the same thing in this episode! 🤓

I don’t have that. They put the new episodes on FiOS On Demand a week early.

Lexi is horrible. She’s so arrogant but I think she’s actually super insecure despite her pageants and her alleged Miami condo. She showed up to the boat thinking everyone would be awestruck by her beauty and let her get away with everything. When they weren’t and didn’t, she went full psycho. I also sensed a little racial weirdness with her bowing up to Mzi and calling him an Afrikaans (some noun, can’t remember). Afrikaans is a language, and it’s spoken mostly by white South Africans, so I don’t even know what the hell she was trying to say. Did she mean he was a racial traitor for daring to be adopted by a white family? Or did she think it was some kind of derogatory term for “inferior” blacks who aren’t from the Bahamas? She’s very proud of that one undergraduate degree in (biology? physics? It changes every time she shrieks about it). Congrats, you lazy little snot. You earned one basic ass degree and you still know nothing. Get help. Mat is normally the kind of person I’m not too fond of, but compared to Lexi, I still like him better even after he Packed His Knives and Went™️. At least he brought a meaningful skill to the boat, albeit inconsistently. Nobody would miss Lexi’s mediocre housekeeping and lamb pop fellating. Ooh girl, you so sexy when you suck down the charter guests’ food without permission. Tell me all about how you get off on respecting hierarchies. Mmm. 🤢 I wonder if the casting call for BDM actually specifies “recent dad trauma and/or sloppy chain smoker preferred.”

Since the show is buffing its nails at us over their DiVerSiTY casting, I have to say: what the fuck is Johnny? And I do not ask people "what they are" in real life. Johnny was president of the Vietnamese students' association. It has been stated at some point that Johnny is Vietnamese? Pepper said in an earlier special that Johnny and Bao have different backgrounds. It seemed to be in the context of ethnicity, but I guess it could've also referred to poverty. Johnny spoke to his father in Mandarin. That is not a normal thing for Vietnamese families to do. If I had to guess, I'd say he has a Chinese father and a Vietnamese mother, but that's kind of rare, too. (See my earlier posts about inter-Asian "opinions.") Who the hell knows? Bao's mother looks so much like my own MIL that I was distracted. Both parents seem very sweet but they raised a little snot. Bao's meltdown over the Astros jersey was extremely immature and simplistic. She said sports guys have never worked for her before. Um, sweetie? Nothing has worked for you before. Maybe it's you? And of all teams... recent foibles aside, when I think of the Houston Astros, I think of two people: an ex-boyfriend with an engineering degree from Rice who worked for Google before moving on to start his own company that I can't even explain what it does; and my uncle, a theologian and teacher with a master's degree who reads, like, books. All the time. They are actually two of the most intelligent people I've ever met. But I guess we're all wrong because Bao thinks sports fans are the opposite of "intellects." (PS, Bao? "Intellect" usually describes the quality, not the whole person, but go off.) Since I'm salty at Bao, I will also admit I snickered when Johnny politely noted that he was at UT when she was at U of H. U of H is a perfectly decent school, but not what I expected from someone so prissy and achievement-driven. Meanwhile, laid-back Johnny is over here enjoying life, allowing himself to be goofy, and low-key repping THE flagship state university. The one people buy t-shirts of from Wal-Mart even though they've never set foot on campus. (I say this grudgingly, as I am a proud alumna of a much more fun and cool state university that gets a bad rap even though we've produced more astronauts and military generals. We wear the black hats, IYKWIM.) Also, I agree that there is someone on the cast pinging the old 'dar quite hard and it's not Johnny. Or Ryan. Or Gil. Or the young guy who's learning piano. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Matt’s saying “foo-pa” really was a faux pas, which is why the producers were laughing off screen. He clearly doesn’t know what a FUPA is. (I wish I didn’t, either.) None of the Roloffs are especially well-spoken, and I think that’s largely a family culture thing, but I also think Amy has something in the range of a mild learning disability or speech disorder. She speaks almost entirely in malapropisms and dangling modifiers. This is not necessarily an indicator of low intelligence, although in this case, I don’t think there’s a genius hiding behind the word salad. BTW, I teach college and have an English degree, although that’s not the subject I teach now. Nobody learns grammar in college; you’re supposed to learn basic syntax and parts of speech in elementary and middle, AKA, what we used to call “grammar school.” English majors study literature, poetry, and maybe creative writing. When I teach or grade writing in my classes, some students inevitably get bent out of shape because they think I don’t know “this isn’t a English class.” No, you darling little oxygen thieves, I’m trying to convey that communication is a life skill no matter your field. If you write and speak like a baboon with a chromebook, people will fill pages of online forums mocking you! “Case and point,” as Amy would probably say.

This season is just a bunch of rude ass people from all over the world. Angela: rude as hell. Yara: fuckin rude. Family Libby: pas de rude. Family Asuelu: aggressively rude. I already forgot who else is on this rude ass show. Ukrainians are Orthodox, which is not Catholic. They don’t answer to the Vatican or conduct services in Latin. They’re liturgical/high church and did develop out of the Byzantine tradition but that was long ago. I thought Yara said they were having Ukrainian Christmas just because Jovi was back; I didn’t hear her say anything about it lining up with the Orthodox calendar. She doesn’t strike me as especially pious, anyway — not like Saint Natalia of Sequim. Her religion seems to be Mommy Martyrdom, with a little serpent named Jovi slithering around “her” garden on Lake Ponchartrain, tempting her to stay out past 6pm. And she’s not a jerk because of her culture. She’s just a huge, spoiled jerk.

Finally someone is brave enough to say it! It’s not his fault, really, but Daniel is simply too much. He did another little piggy squeal recently and I wanted to demand punitive damages from Sharp Media.

Don't they tell you not to name any animal you plan to eventually eat? I feel like Kailyn should apply this principle to houses. Maybe also men. "Current Victim" is sufficient.

In theory, I don't mind seeing people from past seasons, but in practice, they're usually boring or annoying. I really enjoyed seeing Derek and Mindy, though. Maybe the show should consider spotlighting the most likable or interesting people, period, rather than the "successful" couples. With people like Derek and Mindy, it's not even their fault they're not still married, since they were set up to fail. If I were younger and single, Derek could take me to Japan anytime. Speaking of MAFS dreamboats, I'd love to see more of Neil, although I suspect he's done with the show for good. What would be truly amazing, and will never happen, is a panel of the Biggest MAFS Messes of all time. Get the loose cannons and eye-rollers in there and sic them on the new cast. Make sure your waivers are locked down and bring us Mia! Dallas Amber + some party juice. Henry with the mic turned up so we can hear the catty comments. Where is Vaughn and is he still a little mean? Nate ended up sucking as a husband, but he is pretty funny. The LA Times reporter seemed to be one of those people who's more interesting in print than in person. She had some good insights but she didn't have a magnetic presence like the tall lady nearest to the cameras (sorry, their names have slipped right out my brain sieve) or wry charm like the one in the middle. And I know Kevin is controversial, but I'm fond of him. On seeing the same footage again this week (AKA, Lifetime making a "new" episode), I'm even more wary about Johnny and Bao. It seriously feels like the producers were playing Guess Who and were like "Is your person is Asian with Asian heritage from Asia?" and the other was like "Yes! How'd you know?!" "Is she a little controlling and set in her ways?" "Totally! Does your guy have some vague and generic traits I won't bother to elaborate on?" "Fer sure! Do you think they already know each other?" "IDK. Wanna get some nachos?" and so they called it a match and headed to Chuy's.

I agree! Those are different things, for sure. "Family values" implies a particular kind of conservative or traditional mindset, which is maybe outdated or unfair, but it's a lot more specific than "values family," which I think is right up there with "loves to laugh" in terms of helpfulness. Let's try to narrow it down a little more than 95% of the human population, why don't we?

I’m so sick of seeing and hearing about that kid! I don’t mind Loren and Alexei, but they have the unfortunately common delusion that their kid is as amazing to everyone as he is to them. Sorry, but he’s not. I’m not watching baby shows, either, and if I did, I’m sorry but he still would not make the cut. Just not my idea of cute, and the squealing, ugh. If they’re forcing 90 Day children on us, I will accept the following: Bryson May (sans Nicole) occasional appearances by Hannah as long as she’s not being encouraged to act precocious Molly’s daughters Veronica’s cat and dog all cats end of list

Yes — as you said — generic, and/or Asian stereotypes. I’m regretfully preparing my bingo card and hoping I don’t have to mark “bad driver LOL” or “not without my rice cooker.” It always kills me when people claim that certain cultures value “family.” Like, what cultures don’t, please? Some may do it in louder or more enmeshed ways, but it’s kind of an anthropological default. (Just a general observation, not at anyone in particular.) Right up there with “XYZ culture is all about food.” Like the rest of us are wishing we could get by on Soylent and vitamin IV drips.

Leah is one of those people who is so dumb she has no idea how dumb she is. All three of her girls have figured this out and developed coping strategies. Aleeah appears to zone out and go to a happy place in her mind where she counts the days until college somewhere like Pepperdine or the University of Kathmandu. Ali plays sweet and uses her exterior compliance to get away with being actually just as bratty as her sisters (none of them are terrible, just normal bratty sometimes). Addie runs all over Leah like a holler hellion, which makes for good TV, but if I saw her coming into a restaurant I’d ask for the check immediately. Leah has literally never said anything new, insightful, or interesting about any of her pet topics, unless it was “new” due to being incorrect. I wonder if she would be happier if she could come to terms with her limitations, or if the delusion that she is Brené Brown for the Narcan crowd is what keeps her going.

They clearly matched Bao and Johnny based on ethnicity and then halfheartedly retconned some other reasons. Both are likable enough so far, although I never would’ve guessed Bao to be 35 years old since she acts 17. I hope it works for them despite everything we know so far. So excited for another round of “we matched these people because they’re opposites who can balance each other out.” Since that has failed for 12 straight seasons, can we just be honest now? “We matched these people because they’re opposites who trusted us to find them a good match, but we chose potential drama over their wellbeing and possibly physical safety. PS you won’t see Pepper again for at least six weeks.” You’re doing amazing, sweeties. Never change. (To be clear, I also will choose to learn nothing from the past 12 seasons and keep watching as though it might be better this time!)

To clarify, I meant that Amy and Zach’s achondroplasia seem to contribute to their mouth breathing and inability to eat with their mouths closed. (At least I hope that’s the reason — otherwise they’re just being gross.) I don’t think it has anything to do with intelligence or verbal skills. There may be some physiological effects on their speech as well, but I haven’t noticed. Zach probably has some hearing loss. That can affect pronunciation, but it doesn’t result in the same type of errors as people make when they either have a learning/speech disorder and/or come from a place where a markedly non-standard dialect is spoken (like the people who say “I seen” instead of “I saw.”) It usually presents as more flattened sounds with less clear enunciation, but not much outright mispronunciation. (Does anyone remember The Voyage of the Mimi? One of the characters on that series was a good example.) Amy’s mangling of figures of speech and dropping or twisting consonants seem like hallmarks of someone with a mild speech or language processing disorder. IOW, the issue is in the brain, rather than the mouth. I’m not calling her stupid — like I said above, see seems average and a generally functional adult with an apparently strong immune system. I think she’s just not especially gifted in the language area, which is fine. It’s no different from someone not being good at math or sports or cooking. It’s just noticeable because she’s been on TV and social media so much.

Most likely! Probably nature and nurture. Other than Molly, they don’t seem to be a “school” family.

Amy’s issues with spelling and pronunciation strike me as evidence of a mild or moderate learning disability or linguistic disorder. She doesn’t have a speech impediment, per se, although she and Zach both have some issues with tongue thrust, mouth breathing, and orthodontics that I assume are a result of achondroplasia. I would guess Amy is within a standard deviation of average, IQ-wise, but she has a tenuous relationship with phonemes.

Kenny on Pillow Talk is like that one girl in the background of every workout video doing the modified version for people who can’t keep up. Tim is the one in the middle doing the advanced version.

Jake's sense of humor is very dry. There were a couple of moments this season where I caught him saying something witty, but many more where I could tell he was trying to be funny but actually he was just being a dick. I also have a dry sense of humor, and I've learned that my delivery comes across differently in my head, and sometimes people have thought I was being mean or weird when I was just having a good time. The thing is, when I learned this was happening, I didn't double down and become a self-pitying victim or decide everyone who didn't laugh was just stupid. I learned from the experience and changed my behavior. Now I don't make those kinds of jokes around people I don't know well, or I make it clear that I'm joking, verbally and non-verbally. It's really not that hard, and I think people are more likely to see me as funny and nice rather than bizarrely hostile now. But Jake doesn't like to learn about himself. He's let us know that loud and clear. He'd rather smirk and antagonize women around him and I guess bask in the pity/adoration of those who think he's a misunderstood Good Guy. Poor, hilarious incel dumping obligation jewelry on strangers. That's a no from me, dog. As someone the same washed-up, hopeless, elderly age as Jake, my life is too short to babysit egos when there are plenty of amiable people to spend time with instead. Probably unrelated, but Jake and I are about the same age and I've been married for over 10 years, even though some might say I'm quirky! The guys' responses to Jake were very familiar to me. They were exactly how dudes respond to that one guy who's aggressively awkward but has always been cool to them personally, so they don't want to call him out even though they see him being a jackass to women or people outside the social circle. It's halting laughter and "haha that's our Jake, so funny..." (with the "he's a fuckin' weirdo and I'm a little scared of him TBH" part redacted). Pepper was really disappointing this season. She reminded me of Dr. Jessica unleashing the kraken on Molly. What's with licensed professionals who can't understand that all physical touch is optional and no woman is obligated to have sex, or even hold hands, with someone, even if they're married, even if they've had sex before, even if they're on TV. These attitudes help perpetuate rape culture. I don't care if hugs and holding hands aren't a big deal to some people. They're too much for others. You don't have to understand it. Just accept that people are different and intimacy is personal. This is really the barest minimum of respect for other humans. Jake has some kind of unhealthy mental pattern or disorder where he imagines something negative to be true, apparently based on his self-assessment as much smarter than everyone else, and then he fixates on that thing and catastrophes it. So he decides Haley is cheating on him, based on literally nothing. He calls her out. She denies it. But Jake knows better. He harps and nags and catastrophizes because he's so sure that his assumption is infallible. Haley was absolutely right when she said that he assumes he knows what she's going to do or say, yet he's usually wrong. We saw him do it multiple times, and there was no denying that some of his accusations made zero sense and were utterly preposterous. Who would want to be married to someone who makes every interaction into a federal case? Sometimes you want to come home and relax, not file motions and prepare evidence to justify a face you didn't realize you made. I enjoyed Kevin calling out Jake's nonstop bullshit, victim complex, "bew hew mew mew sheee haaaatesss meee" routine. Someone needed to. I saw their wedding and I saw who smiled for most of it and who had a rotten stankface. Plenty of people are ready and willing to jump on Haley for being a "frigid bitch" who owes men hugs and should prostrate herself before anyone who buys her a bracelet packaged like a necklace. It was nice to see just one person in the whole milieu actually consider her perspective.

If Farrah gets a degree from Harvard, I will seriously give up on my whole field! I still don't know how she could take graduate courses without a Bachelor's degree, but there are so many other holes in the story, it's not even worth wondering! I've taught college freshmen for over 10 years. It's an open admission institution and many students are from underserved school districts, or are not native English speakers, and/or have undiagnosed or untreated learning disabilities. Some face food insecurity. Some come to their morning class straight from working a night shift. Occasionally one will need a campus police officer to walk them to their car because they have a stalker. Understandably, many of my students are not strong writers, or aren't fulfilling their potential because they're dealing with bigger things. But in all of these years, teaching between 3-8 sections every spring, summer, and fall... NEVER have I seen writing like Farrah's. It is truly unique.

I'm honestly kind of jealous of her "confidence." So many years in non-Harvard academia can really give you a complex.