Oldernowiser

You know, you’d think that? But Larry King’s estate was only $2 million. Anthony Bourdain’s was less than that. Apparently the expenses for that lifestyle are pretty high...or they choose them that way. I was shocked.

And in related news, Alec Baldwin is taking his ball and going home by deleting his Twitter account. Again. As in, for the fifth time. Those two deserve each other.

“The Baldwinitos craved so much to have a little sister," She is so full of crap. Gotta love her copying Spanish sentence structure...she’s method-acting this to the max. 🤮

Right now? No. But the next time I climb on the treadmill and don’t have anything else I feel like watching? I will probably fall off the wagon. Suggestions for alternatives welcomed, by the way. I’m trying to get into Schitt’s Creek but the first episode creeped me out. I am NOT going to watch Mrs. Maisel because I am just so very done with the Palladinos forevermore.

Right? @Jynnan tonnix, you are just so very cute!

Somebody got a quote of the day app. RFP, you keep Joni Mitchell out of your mouth. Forever.

Someone here ( @Nysha maybe?) last year recommended one of those Ultrasonic electric toothbrushes. My inner cheapskate found a lesser brand on Amazon and honestly, it’s amazing. It runs for two minutes, pausing every 30 seconds to remind you to switch quadrants, and it’s done a great job. I’m what hygienists politely call “a real tartar factory” and no matter how much flossing and brushing with a regular toothbrush I did, invariably I’d sit in the chair, she’d look in my mouth, sigh loudly, and get out the jackhammer, extra large. This thing seems to be helping to keep things much more under control. I even bought Mr. Wiser one...which he is actually using. Highly recommend!

Fortunately, at the very beginning of 2020 I had my teeth cleaned, an annual physical, and my hair cut really short. Who knew. HOWEVER. My hair is now down to my shoulders and is a wavy, frizzy mess. But it seems stupid to take risks NOW after being insanely careful for an entire year. I look like hell, NGL. I don’t care about restaurants, theatres, parties, or shopping...I would, however, KILL for a haircut.

@QuinnInND, Happy Birthday! Ah, 39...I remember that age. (Actually, I don’t.) Have a wonderful birthday evening!

Is it wrong that I am really hoping this isn’t true? Jana already raised an enormous family, FFS. I was so hoping she would continue to forge her path her way and tell JimBob to stuff it, but apparently she’s the Emergency Ratings Alarm and JB has decided to finally break that glass. Shit. I was so hoping she was gay and using it to blackmail her parents. “Leave me alone or I go straight to People with the exclusive.”

I know, I know. No one to blame but myself. And those idiots who wrote the show.

I wasn’t going to do it. I wasn’t. Then I had a kinda rotten day and I thought...how bad can it be? BAD. SOSOSOBAD. Luke sounds like he’s on helium for the first scene. Lorelai’s story at her dad’s funeral? CRIMINALLY horrific. Rory and her bullshit “irons in the fire.” Invisible Paul, yet another pathetic piece of imminent detritus in the wake of the mess that is now Rory. Kelly Bishop looks wonderful. Everyone else looks like crap. Kirk needs to slope off for good. I’m okay if it’s by carbon monoxide poisoning in his OOOber. I’m most of the way through the first whatever this is and now I need a shower and one of those memory erasers from Men in Black. GAWDAMIGHTY. That is all.

(Okay, I’ve given up the F word reasonably successfully in 2021, but on this occasion nothing else will do...) ”Dear Jill: Shut the fuck up. Love, Georgia”

This is so messed up. It’s The Handmaid’s Tale, or how to be JRod, but without the Bible and not having to mess with your pert little figure by actually gestating a zillion kids. At least these Baldwin kids will be rich and messed up, instead of dirt poor and messed up. They’ll be able to afford therapy. I guess that’s something. 🙄

Did they finally confirm that they did use a surrogate? Someone went after Alec on Twitter about it and he told them to fuck off and mind their own business, which is pretty damned rich considering “Hilaria” is as big a SM famehog as they come. At the shelter, we used to call people like this collectors. They loved a new puppy until they turned into a dog, at which point they got another puppy. It’s pathological.

Come sit next to me! I find that Goth Chick thing really only works if one is eighteen or under. Same way with Goth Guy...looking at you, Eyeliner Noel. I have zero interest in eating a tarantula (plus spider eggs), let alone a severed finger. It’s both creepy and overly precious at the same time. I thought David’s towers were gorgeous and actually something I would want to eat. Jamie is adorable and I’m sorry he’s gone so soon, but he’s still just a kid. I know I would discombobulate in that tent in roughly ten minutes and I’m much older than he is!

So I’m a masochist. I calculated their stimulus check based on the assumptions that first, they actually file taxes, which I could see them refusing to do, and an AGI of $40,000. Which is probably a wild exaggeration of what they actually earn and/or report. They’re looking at $21,000. I hope she writes the evil gubmint a thank you note. Nah...she’ll just bite the hand that’s literally feeding her on SM. I just wish I could believe the kids will get anything from it. Like food.

Yes. And he seems to have plenty of time to remodel the barndo and go on vacations. They’re getting big time government benefits somehow, is all I can think.

And I ended up liking KimJoy, despite finding her quirky shtick way too shticky in the beginning. I will also say that girl has some insane piping skills and her chocolate universe globe was beautiful. Filling it full of turtles? Not so much.

I think they were dancing around not actually saying, “too American” out loud on that one... While I’m kvetching... I do not want to eat a cream puff that looks like a rock. Or a “moldy” wall of ruins. Or anything that looks like a pond full of algae. I just hope they get back to making things look beautiful and appetizing again?

I am always late to any cultural phenomenon but I found this on Netflix recently. I was SOOOO enjoying it...until this season. One of the reasons I enjoyed it is that I do bake, although mostly bread, because that much sugar would give me a three-day headache, and I often learned something. Well, that’s over. Now they’re asking them to do the impossible (baking is physics and chemistry as much as art and there’s no arguing with either) and then acting all fiendishly happy that the challenges are impossible. What happened??? I don’t need to see these poor people in tears and if Paul Hollywood was lurking around glaring at me when I was desperately trying to concentrate he would have gotten a bowl thrown at his head. Noel gets old fast. Same problem...these people have no damned time to play Cutesy With Noel. I like Sandy better, just because she seems kinder and can read the room enough to walk away, but please just let the bakers get on with it. The business of asking the bakers “if they’re really going to do that” and then sarcastically wishing them good luck is just mind fuckery. Life has plenty of that these days...who needs it on what was a comforting, happy place show? And hell, Paul, I was familiar with KimJoy’s Tangzhong technique and I’m not putting myself out there as the world’s greatest bread person. Catch up. Meh. I guess we really can’t have nice things anymore.

They don’t see her, not as she really is. The whole family is wrapped up in the JRod web of lies...hubby is a hunk, everyone just adores each other, Mama is the bestest most beautiful mother ever, Jesus loves them best, and they convert souls to Jesus all the time. Trust me, when the core of a family’s belief system is a bunch of lies enforced by a nutcase, nobody is going to step out of line. Jill says her kids choose to fast and have naturally skinny physiques. Case closed. Never mind the pallor, the dark circles and low energy. Her kids are healthy and happy, and DON’T YOU FORGET IT.

Sweetie. I am your age (well, in three weeks I will be). I live in the same state and what, two counties to the west of you? I also have Kaiser and have no idea when I might get the vaccine. And I am DELIGHTED you got the vaccine! The more the better. So put that idea right out of your head, okay?

Not always. A GSD went after my three-year-old sister and bit her in the face...thirty stitches...we were visiting family friends and my sister was just standing next to the dog. They are serious, intense dogs...NOT for novice or flaky dog owners. They need training and a job or they’ll decide what that job is on their own. We didn’t even keep them at the shelter where I volunteered...too volatile. We had connections with a rescue and sent them there for evaluation and fostering. I hope there’s enough retriever or something mellow in the “mix” to soften her a little.

Oh, dear God. Please make them shut up about their sex life. There is no clamoring. In fact, there is anti-clamoring, also known as “STFU already.” They’re approaching Fundie Kardashianhood. 😱😱😱