Season 1 Discussion

[wendyg]

There's also the point that Abishola is responsible for supporting her entire family of four. And she mentioned student loans. That's a lot of pressure and stress. I don't find her rude at all, just direct and straightforward.

[shapeshifter]

13 hours ago, wendyg said:

There's also the point that Abishola is responsible for supporting her entire family of four. And she mentioned student loans. That's a lot of pressure and stress. I don't find her rude at all, just direct and straightforward.

Yes, and, when I was in similar situation, I learned to project an appearance of not noticing men, whether they noticed me or not, whether I wanted them to notice me or not. I am sure it came off as aloof or rude sometimes. I am very good at it. It is second nature.
Now that I am nearly as wrinkly as Cornelius and the other old elephants in the Babar books, nobody ever looks at me like that anymore.
But I still react that way in a situation where they might
--from a distance I resemble more of a gazelle
--back to my children's book illustration project.

So I didn't see Abishola as rude, but I can see why some might.

***************************

23 hours ago, SmithW6079 said:

On 10/26/2019 at 3:03 AM, possibilities said:

I'm really enjoying the promo they're running, with the two of them in a restaurant.

That has made me laugh out loud every time I've seen it. I love how Abishola gets into it.

Yes but, with commercials, these half hour comedies are only 20 minutes long, at most. At least they only gave away one bit.

Edited October 27, 2019 by shapeshifter

[jewel21]

New episode tonight! 

S01.E06: Ralph Lauren and Fish

Bob and Abishola finally go on a proper date, which is interrupted by Dottie's medical emergency.

Airdate: 10.28.2019

[SoMuchTV]

On 10/18/2019 at 11:30 AM, Phishbulb said:

What's the significance of the title card that appears at the end of the show? (It's been the same for every episode so far, I think).

On 10/23/2019 at 8:53 PM, jewel21 said:

I thought all the names were the actors names. Or am I getting it wrong?

My take was that they are just names of a bunch of different people in the world. Like if Bob can "heart" Abishola, then random person x can find random person y.

[tennisgurl]

I am still giggling about dream Abishola playing wack a mole with dream Bobs heads. "Stop being cute!!"

[jewel21]

I finally paid attention to the credits, and it does appear to be random names, rather than cast names which I had originally thought. 

I really enjoyed this episode. Best of the series so far. Abishola looked lovely on her date and I thought they got along fairly well. The scenes in the hospital were also well done. I like how Abishola was there for Bob and that he was vulnerable in front of her. The brother not being able to find the waiting room made me laugh. I have the worst sense of direction and hospitals are a giant maze to me. I like that he ended up being in a Holiday Inn at the end, heh. The sister high on Xanax amused me. Although, from the few times I used Xanax, it usually just made me sleepy.

I look forward to next week!

[SoMuchTV]

3 minutes ago, jewel21 said:

I finally paid attention to the credits, and it does appear to be random names, rather than cast names which I had originally thought. 

I really enjoyed this episode. Best of the series so far. Abishola looked lovely on her date and I thought they got along fairly well. The scenes in the hospital were also well done. I like how Abishola was there for Bob and that he was vulnerable in front of her. The brother not being able to find the waiting room made me laugh. I have the worst sense of direction and hospitals are a giant maze to me. I like that he ended up being in a Holiday Inn at the end, heh. The sister high on Xanax amused me. Although, from the few times I used Xanax, it usually just made me sleepy.

I look forward to next week!

Agree on all of that. I probably got too much of a kick out of Bob “herding cats” with his siblings. 

[TheLotusFlower]

On 10/10/2019 at 12:12 AM, Yeah No said:

I grew up in the Bronx and had an early education into the prejudices between and within various ethnic groups, especially Hispanics, so some of that is familiar to me.  I also learned from Puerto Rican friends how they can tend to look down on Dominicans and even other Puerto Ricans from "the sticks".

One thing I will say for this show is that the segment discussed above makes people aware that prejudice is not only perpetrated by whites toward other races.  And that's a good thing, IMO because I think there's a tendency these days to think only white people can be ethnically prejudiced.

As an ADOS, I don't know any other ADOS who think only white people can be ethnically prejudiced.  Perhaps that's just the way white people perceive it.  Plenty of Black Americans (myself included) have been the recipient of prejudicial behavior from non-white people.  As has already been addressed here, we are very aware that African immigrants are often prejudiced against Black Americans.   Some Latino people are often prejudiced towards Black Americans as well.  And yes, some Black Americans have their own prejudices.  What everybody needs to understand about human beings in general is that many people thrive on the concept of "kicking down."  By that I mean they have to find someone (or group of people) they view as inferior in order to feel better about themselves.  And this concept is both intra-racial and inter-racial.  That's why you will find Africans who think they're better than Black Americans, Puerto Ricans who think they're better than Mexicans, etc.  There's a whole situation with Dominicans who don't want to admit they have any Black lineage.  Hell, white people have done the same thing amongst themselves.  It wasn't that long ago that Italians and Irish people weren't considered the "right kind of white," and were looked down upon by white anglo saxon protestants. 

There's this disturbing obsession with people needing to feel superior to others, and nobody wants to be on the bottom.  As for how this plays out in the US, from the moment the first African human being was brought here and enslaved, Black people have been viewed as the ones on the bottom.  So much so that you have African immigrants who come here, see the conditions of some Black Americans, and immediately want to distance themselves from it.  They want to make sure that others know that just because they're Black, they aren't "that kind of Black."  They aren't the kind of Black whose ancestors were enslaved, or weren't viewed as human, or weren't allowed to use the same bathrooms as the good white folks.  We might look like them, but make no mistake we aren't them.  Often without even bothering to learn the full history their of ADOS brothers and sisters.  But hey, they need to kick down because they don't want to be the ones on the bottom.  There's a lot more I could say on this topic, but I'll just leave it there.  I'm sure this has already made plenty of people uncomfortable, but the truth is often uncomfortable.

[CrazyMoon]

"I had a whole speech prepared for when you said 'no'. I got nothing for yes"....so funny...

[Guest]

I’m enjoying the show more and more with each episode. I loved the date and am surprised how much I am enjoying their relationship. I also like that they acknowledge the problems with Bob’s behavior in the pilot.

Abishola: It seems like only yesterday you were a strange man bringing socks to my home.

Bob: That was a little weird wasn’t it.

Abishola: That was a lot of weird.

I hope we get more of Abishola’s son in the next few episodes. 

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, TheLotusFlower said:

As an ADOS, I don't know any other ADOS who think only white people can be ethnically prejudiced.  Perhaps that's just the way white people perceive it. 

No, I've actually been told that by ADOS, even here on this general forum.  It depends on what your definition of prejudice and racism are.  I subscribe to the traditional definition of racism as “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.”  That is the standard dictionary definition.  So when I am told that it is impossible for ADOS to be racist, for me as I define racism that also includes being prejudiced.  However these days some people now hold to a distinction that separates prejudice from racism.  They believe in a new definition of "institutional racism" that asserts that because traditionally only white people have held institutionalized power, only they have the power to enact their racist beliefs to the detriment of black people.  It cannot work the other way around.  But I've noticed that at least some of these people will also not agree that prejudice can work both ways.  BTW, I agree with this author, who is Asian, that we all have the power to be racist, and reductionary definitions that absolve one group from being able to be racist toward another are not accurate.

That said, this episode was cute and endearing but I still feel like this show is so old fashioned in some ways that even I, who love old 90s sitcoms feel like it's dated.  Like give me a break with the older woman looking at them like they're from the cast of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" (which was 52 years ago already).  Nobody acts like that anymore anywhere, especially a big northern city.  And I think I have enough experience being in restaurants with black friends and associates to have an opinion on that.

[TheLotusFlower]

28 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

No, I've actually been told that by ADOS, even here on this general forum.  It depends on what your definition of prejudice and racism are.  I subscribe to the traditional definition of racism as “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.”  That is the standard dictionary definition.  So when I am told that it is impossible for ADOS to be racist, for me as I define racism that also includes being prejudiced.  However these days some people now hold to a distinction that separates prejudice from racism.  They believe in a new definition of "institutional racism" that asserts that because traditionally only white people have held institutionalized power, only they have the power to enact their racist beliefs to the detriment of black people.  It cannot work the other way around.  But I've noticed that at least some of these people will also not agree that prejudice can work both ways.  BTW, I agree with this author, who is Asian, that we all have the power to be racist, and reductionary definitions that absolve one group from being able to be racist toward another are not accurate.

That said, this episode was cute and endearing but I still feel like this show is so old fashioned in some ways that even I, who love old 90s sitcoms feel like it's dated.  Like give me a break with the older woman looking at them like they're from the cast of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" (which was 52 years ago already).  Nobody acts like that anymore anywhere, especially a big northern city.  And I think I have enough experience being in restaurants with black friends and associates to have an opinion on that.

I'm not sure what you're saying "no" in response to.  I specifically used the term "prejudiced" in my post, as I am well aware of the distinctions made between the terms racism and prejudiced.  Institutionalized racism is certainly not a new concept, I think it's just new to certain people because they've never had to think about it before.  The pillars of any institution can only be put there by the people in power.  In the case of the US, the people who were in power when the original pillars were put in place were obviously white.  So when one thinks of systemic, institutionalized racism, that refers to racism perpetrated by white people.  Prejudice in and of itself is something different.  So let's say a Puerto Rican person is prejudiced against me as a Black woman.  Her prejudice is obviously real but that doesn't make her part of the institutionalized racism that's in the fabric of our society because she's not part of that power structure. 

You can choose to believe whatever you like, but you and the author you referenced don't get to define other people's experiences for them.  Systemic, institutional racism is simply not something that Black Americans have the power to implement in this country.  It's not about absolving anyone of anything.  I clearly stated that Black people can have their own prejudicial views.  But until those views can be extrapolated and applied system wide in a manner that negatively impacts where white people live, where/how they vote, where they can work, how their children are treated, where their kids go to school, how their bodies are viewed by law enforcement, etc. then those views do no reach the level of systemic racism.  I've noticed a trend lately of white people insisting that Black people are racist (not just prejudiced, but actually racist).  To those folks I ask: what laws have been implemented, what structural changes have taken place, what rights have been taken away, or what penalties have been placed upon your person as a result of Black Americans' collective racism towards you?  Black people can easily point to tangible things that have taken place in our lives due to the power of systemic racism.  So if you believe we Black people have that same power, please provide some examples.  And some random Black person making a negative comment to you because you're white doesn't fit the criteria.  That would be an example of prejudice, not racism.  Hopefully this will help some of you get a better understanding of the differenece between the two.

[Yeah No]

10 minutes ago, TheLotusFlower said:

You can choose to believe whatever you like, but you and the author you referenced don't get to define other people's experiences for them.  

Just as you can choose to believe whatever you like, you also don't get to define what my (or the author of that article's) experiences and definitions of certain words are.  I replied to your assertion about where my ideas came from from my own experience and definitions I accept, which did not originate with me and are also shared by others.  I also said that some people hold that there is no such thing as black to white racism and that there was a difference of opinion as to the definition of racism, and the fact that some of the people accepting the newer/alternate version of the definition also did not believe that prejudice could work from black to white either.  I didn't make this stuff up, I experienced it.

Edited October 29, 2019 by Yeah No

[Harvey]

It is entertaining how enthusiastic Abishola's family is about Bob, dressing in their Sunday best just to make a good impression on him 😄 It was adorable.

[Browncoat]

I liked this episode a lot.  The date was fun.  Bob’s siblings make me think that if anything does happen to him, that sock company is going down the toilet.

Plus we got a nice PSA about recognizing the signs of a stroke.

[Brian Cronin]

On 10/18/2019 at 11:30 AM, Phishbulb said:

What's the significance of the title card that appears at the end of the show? (It's been the same for every episode so far, I think).

The whole hook of the name of the show is that Abishola is a distinctly African name while Bob is, you know, Bob. So it's about how much is tied up in people's names and so the title card is about how there are all these different names out there that similarly carry various signifiers with them and here, two of them happen to get together. 

[Snow Apple]

Bob's two employees always bring the right amount of concern and snark regarding Bob.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, TheLotusFlower said:

 Systemic, institutional racism is simply not something that Black Americans have the power to implement in this country.  It's not about absolving anyone of anything.  I clearly stated that Black people can have their own prejudicial views.  But until those views can be extrapolated and applied system wide in a manner that negatively impacts where white people live, where/how they vote, where they can work, how their children are treated, where their kids go to school, how their bodies are viewed by law enforcement, etc. then those views do no reach the level of systemic racism.  I've noticed a trend lately of white people insisting that Black people are racist (not just prejudiced, but actually racist).  To those folks I ask: what laws have been implemented, what structural changes have taken place, what rights have been taken away, or what penalties have been placed upon your person as a result of Black Americans' collective racism towards you?  Black people can easily point to tangible things that have taken place in our lives due to the power of systemic racism.  So if you believe we Black people have that same power, please provide some examples.  And some random Black person making a negative comment to you because you're white doesn't fit the criteria.  That would be an example of prejudice, not racism.  Hopefully this will help some of you get a better understanding of the differenece between the two.

If a clear distinction between institutionalized racism and the dictionary definition of racism is to be made, why not just call what you're describing here "institutionalized racism" rather than argue over what the general word "racism" means?  That's all this is about, in my opinion.  No one, least of all me, is arguing that institutionalized racism was never a thing, but to a lot of people it's a slightly different thing than the dictionary definition of the term "racism", which includes prejudice.  It would prevent a lot of confusion and misunderstanding, which is what I think this is all about.  This has already been written about here and here and elsewhere.  Just my humble suggestion in the interest of all.  I'm not trying to control anyone's beliefs, just looking for clarity and mutual respect.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Snow Apple said:

Bob's two employees always bring the right amount of concern and snark regarding Bob.

Now that you mention it, I see these two snarky employees of Bob's as the non-white, non-USA-born mirror-image viewpoint of many of the viewers--or at least of many white, USA-born people who may or may not be watching.

----------------------

On 10/18/2019 at 10:30 AM, Phishbulb said:

What's the significance of the title card that appears at the end of the show? (It's been the same for every episode so far, I think).

3 hours ago, Brian Cronin said:

The whole hook of the name of the show is that Abishola is a distinctly African name while Bob is, you know, Bob. So it's about how much is tied up in people's names and so the title card is about how there are all these different names out there that similarly carry various signifiers with them and here, two of them happen to get together. 

I was not able to figure that out
--although the block letters CGI'd into the background do work well for me for the scene changes.

Edited October 29, 2019 by shapeshifter

[jewel21]

I've edited the mod note at the bottom of the page but I will post this here as well.

This thread is to discuss the TV show "Bob Hearts Abishola."

Please take general discussion about race not specific to the show to the Race & Ethnicity on TV thread.

And as always, remember to be civil toward your fellow poster.

[joanne3482]

I loved this episode! I loved Abishola asking the right questions to know what was going on with Bob's mom. I loved Bob crying in the church and able to lean on Abishola. I loved Bob learning so much about the various places Abishola has lived. I loved Abishola learning how Bob dropped out of college to take care of the siblings when his dad died. I loved Abishola's family dressing up to meet Bob. I loved the interaction between Abishola and her friend when the friend was doing Abishola's hair so beautifully. I loved their snark on the date to the old white couple who was looking at them.  Even though this is a Chuck Lorre show and I question his work sometimes, I have high hopes for this show. 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, joanne3482 said:

I loved this episode! I loved Abishola asking the right questions to know what was going on with Bob's mom. I loved Bob crying in the church and able to lean on Abishola. I loved Bob learning so much about the various places Abishola has lived. I loved Abishola learning how Bob dropped out of college to take care of the siblings when his dad died. I loved Abishola's family dressing up to meet Bob. I loved the interaction between Abishola and her friend when the friend was doing Abishola's hair so beautifully. I loved their snark on the date to the old white couple who was looking at them.  Even though this is a Chuck Lorre show and I question his work sometimes, I have high hopes for this show. 

Ditto. I also loved Bob addressing Abishola's aunt as "Auntie" the way Abishola does --because he has arrived at a place in his relationship with the family where this is acceptable and because we know he is being respectful when he says it.

"Abishola's family dressing up to meet Bob" seemed to border on making fun of cultural differences --but I guess the whole show does. 
Anyway, I liked to think the scene was in part scripted to show off how terrific Auntie looked in her gorgeous Nigerian (presumably) dress.
Her outfit rivaled any Red Carpet fashions or those from NY or Paris fashion weeks that I've enjoyed seeing.

[joanne3482]

45 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

"Abishola's family dressing up to meet Bob" seemed to border on making fun of cultural differences --but I guess the whole show does. 

I guess it could be seen that way, but I didn't think it was making fun of. For me most of this has been more educational, another perspective. I liked that they dressed up for him as a way to show him respect. And I liked that he didn't get it because in the US we've stopped dressing up for almost everything. There were the funny bits with the son and the sandwich that these were not sandwich clothes and him freaking out over getting mustard on his shirt. That provides a moment of "hey these people from Nigeria are just like you and me because we would be in trouble as kids for getting food on our "good" clothes too."

[possibilities]

In addition to the things already mentioned, I loved the genial awkwardness of Bob with Abishola's family, them joking about cholesterol  levels, him wishing Uncle safe travels across the room to the couch, and how Bob interacts with Dele (Abishola's son), as well.

Also fun: when they were doing Abishola's hair, and she asked how much longer, and "2 hours" was = "not much longer".

Also: the running commentary all episode about Bob's cologne.

[wendyg]

The IMAG on the hat on the final vanity card stands for Immigrants Make America Great. Chuck Lorre has said that he wanted to do this show in order to write about immigrant families.

Did everyone notice that the son's tie was made of the same fabric as Auntie's dress?

Edited October 30, 2019 by wendyg

[shapeshifter]

48 minutes ago, wendyg said:

Did everyone notice that the son's tie was made of the same fabric as Auntie's dress?

No, I missed that! Now I want to know if the dress was custom made for the show. The dress was one of the best parts of the episode for me.

[threebluestars]

I love that when the Nigerian workers are talking amongst themselves, they are speaking Yoruba and subtitled! It always bothers me when they have characters you KNOW would be speaking their own language to each other speak in English instead just for the audience's benefit.

[tennisgurl]

The date between Bob and Abishola was really sweet, they seem to have such a nice time together, and I love how Abishola got into messing with the racist couple. "Also, we are Jewish." They are really sweet and endearing together, and even if it ended on a sadder note, it was great that Abishola was there for Bob and that she got to see more sides to him and that he was vulnerable with her. For a lot of people, thats one of the hardest parts of a relationship, and they're getting into it pretty quickly! 

I also laughed at the brother being totally lost at the hospital, mostly because every time I visit a hospital, I feel like I've wandered into a labyrinth! I also love Bobs two employees as a sort of Greek (or Nigerian!) chorus. 

Abisholas family dressing up for the date was sweet, and while I suspect that her aunt and uncle would be psyched about any man with a good job who wanted to date Abishola, I think her son really likes him.

[Dbolt]

13 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

No, I missed that! Now I want to know if the dress was custom made for the show. The dress was one of the best parts of the episode for me.

I think the implication was that Auntie had made the dress herself and all the left over fabric was used to make Dele’s tie and pocket square and Uncle’s hat. Nothing goes to waste!

[Guest]

This was the best episode of the season to me.  I'm really enjoying Bob and Abishola getting to know each other, and while I find his family horribly annoying, there was just enough of them this episode that they didn't bother me.

[joanne3482]

1 minute ago, deaja said:

This was the best episode of the season to me.  I'm really enjoying Bob and Abishola getting to know each other, and while I find his family horribly annoying, there was just enough of them this episode that they didn't bother me.

Yes, I'm kind of dreading next week's episode where Bob's mom is super racist about food with Abishola's family. 

[Lamb18]

On 10/1/2019 at 6:58 AM, Harvey said:

This was a sweet episode, the aunt & uncle are so funny and entertaining. I hope we will see more of them.

The show seems to take an interesting turn in the upcoming episodes.

  Hide contents

“Square Hamburger, Round Buns” – After Abishola calls off things with Bob, her Auntie Olu sets her up with a Nigerian pharmacist, and Bob tries online dating, on BOB

[wendyg]

Lamb18: the episode you're referring to there was last week.

[nx74defiant]

On 10/30/2019 at 11:40 AM, deaja said:

his family horribly annoying

His family is the part of the show I like the least. Everyone else is soon much more enjoyable.

[Guest]

Going forward, we will have episode topics for each new episode. This thread should only be used to discuss episodes that aired before tonight's episode (November 4th).  Anything else should go to the appropriate thread.

Any questions, please feel free to PM myself and @jewel21.