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S23.E03: Week 3

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Eight women perform in a pirate-themed dinner show; Elyse and Colton travel to San Diego.

Airs January 21, 2019.

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Five minutes in, and I feel like I am entering some kind of weird Romance Novel role play game gone mad. Or someone got a bunch of people to film their self insert fanfic. 

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Did one of those girls throw her turkey leg onto the stage?!? What the—?! You know it’s a boring show when I’m kind of living for the pettiness of Caelynn and Heather(??)—are those their names? I still can’t figure out which one I’m supposed to be rooting against. But if all it takes is for Colton to acknowledge the existence of one to send the other into an emotional spiral, I’ll take it.

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Poor Tracey.  She’s being bullied by that little brat.  She’s too insecure and timid for TV. 

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Pardon? Blind folding, spanking with a paddle and playing the nervous game as a date idea while on tv...classy.  Then again, why am I surprised? This is The Bach we are watching. Talk about embarrassing for Colton. 

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Ok, I need to revise my comment above, I am living for Demi’s sultry and insulting ways getting everyone into a tizzy. Blindfolding and paddling Colton and then practically giving him a hand job with a mannequin hand! Basically telling that dark haired woman she’s a shriveled up, passive-aggressive old hag, then playing all coy and innocent with the other girl?! Demi gets my Wrong Reasons rose!

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Wow, Cassie could be Colton's sister!  

I remain gobsmacked that one of the two pageant girls is so very insecure  - however did she compete?

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I seriously hope blonde pageant girl is playing up this drama for cameras and doesn’t actually have so much insecurity. Girl has issues and should probably get some counselling. 

Edited by woot · Reason: typo
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I’m a little behind. I do not like either pageant girl, but especially Hannah. 

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I have no idea which one is Karlyn and which one is Hannah.

that damn little Demi.  A mannequin handjob.  I’d give her another shot if she’d stop torturing poor geriatric Tracey. 

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Oh, Hannah (I learned her name). You really over-played your hand trying to cast Caelynn as Here for the Wrong Reasons. You barely eked out a Rose last week. You’re done for.

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They never learn.  Clearly, pageant girl number one has never seen the show.  When the Bachelor/ette likes someone, they don't want to hear anything negative about them - ever.  That will get you eliminated. 

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Who was the girl (yes, girl) with the nanny who got busted for sex in the pool on BIP? Whatever her name is, Demi is the "her" for this season. Which means she will be around for many weeks whether Colton wants her there or not.

 I wonder what it would be like to be the Bach and be told to keep contestants you cannot stand. No wonder the Bach ends up in tears. Or jumping a six-foot fence and running away.

Is it Demi who has the nasal whine voice? Makes me want to stab my ears out.

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I suspect one pageant girl got selected, then TPTB looked for another pageant girl, one the first one hates, and solicited her to be on the show. There are no coincidences on TB.

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18 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Who was the girl (yes, girl) with the nanny who got busted for sex in the pool on BIP? Whatever her name is, Demi is the "her" for this season. Which means she will be around for many weeks whether Colton wants her there or not.

Corinne - who invented all the moves that Demi is using this season.  (Don't fact check me.  I haven't been watching for that long.  LOL)  

21 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

I have no idea which one is Karlyn and which one is Hannah.

Hannah's blonde, and looks and acts like a little kid.
Kaelyn's brunette, really good-looking, but something about her look is very plastic to me.  I guess the nose, but also other things too.

Speaking of plastic, now it's Elyse's segment.  I think Colton really likes that kind of look.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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Oh pageant girl, that is NOT going to work here, especially not with Colton. You done overplayed your hand.

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Amusement park ... best date yet on this franchise. At least it would be for me, I'd be all over that place with those kids,

I know, shock, something I like this season! Although Colton is not horrible.

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Long time lurker, first time poster, etc etc.

 

I literally made this account because Elyse was driving me insane. She looked SO familiar, but I couldn't place it. Then it hit me; she looks (and sounds!) like Lindsay Lohan in the MyScene dolls thing. My childhood just came flooding back. 

 

 

latest?cb=20140312192042

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Rooting for Elyse to go on Bachelor Pad and meet a Bachelor Family guy from a few seasons back. I kind of agree with Demi that what do these women in their 30s want with an inexperienced and emotionally immature 26 year old? Maybe Chris Bukowski will slide out of retirement and into her DMs.

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Elyse is gorgeous and she seems down to earth and nice... but almost too low key and laid back for an amusement park date with children. 

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Great story from Elyse. 

There’s another Katlyn (? spelling). When they called her name for the group date, I was like “who?!”  

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3 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Rooting for Elyse to go on Bachelor Pad and meet a Bachelor Family guy from a few seasons back. I kind of agree with Demi that what do these women in their 30s want with an inexperienced and emotionally immature 26 year old? Maybe Chris Bukowski will slide out of retirement and into her DMs.

Agreed.. but I don't think they always know who the Bachelor is going to be when they sign up, do they?  I mean let's face it, almost none of them are there for the Bachelor anyway.  They're there to sell Fab Fit Fun subscriptions.  

I'm 41 and Demi should irritate me with her 'older" woman hate.. but I can't help but chuckle over it.  Tracey, you'll never a successful cougar if you keep acting so insecure!

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9 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Rooting for Elyse to go on Bachelor Pad and meet a Bachelor Family guy from a few seasons back. I kind of agree with Demi that what do these women in their 30s want with an inexperienced and emotionally immature 26 year old? Maybe Chris Bukowski will slide out of retirement and into her DMs.

Duh, train him. ☺️

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Mad respect for Elyse's sister!  So sad that she passed, but so much courage to bring her baby into the world as healthy as she could.

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3 minutes ago, GracieK said:

Agreed.. but I don't think they always know who the Bachelor is going to be when they sign up, do they?  I mean let's face it, almost none of them are there for the Bachelor anyway.  They're there to sell Fab Fit Fun subscriptions.  

I'm 41 and Demi should irritate me with her 'older" woman hate.. but I can't help but chuckle over it.  Tracey, you'll never a successful cougar if you keep acting so insecure!

True! She’ll be a certified influencer yet! I’m 44, so twice Demi’s age? I think she’s hilarious!  Tracey isn’t bringing anything to the table but a dour demeanor. The producers will keep her around a while because she’s so easily riled.

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34 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

 

Kaelyn's brunette, really good-looking, but something about her look is very plastic to me.  I guess the nose, but also other things too.

 

It’s the unnatural size, angle, and color of her veneers.  They don’t fit her face. 

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So many of these girls are so insecure, its legit sad to me. 

Damn, Colton is trying so hard to start a conversation, and she is giving him nothing! Its like talking to a giggly brick wall. She has nothing to talk about in her life? Nothing at all?

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Damn, that was cold.  I am glad Caitlin told him she didn't want to hold his hand. 

Edited by Adeejay
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25 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

I want to snark on Colton, but he’s a nice guy. 

I’m feeling Colton.  He’s decent and doing a good job so far.  I also am feeling Tayshia.  She’s gorgeous and seems cool.

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That was a crazy conversation.  Was she just nervous or does she really have nothing to say?  I get not having an emotional story but why can’t you just talk to him about your life in general?  And don’t tell him you feel behind. Jump in and make yourself relevant.  

Edited by alexa
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WTH?!  It’s not like this girl did something so egregious that he had to humiliate her and send her home NOW instead of waiting until tomorrow’s rose ceremony! Buuut, the car was already on stand-by, so I suppose the producers made him send someone home today for dramatic purposes. Sure, girl, he won’t remember you existed let alone regret his life choices over you.

2 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

This poor girl Katelyn says she's had a good life and Colton is like "I'm kick punting this girl the fuck out of my life!!!!!!!!!"

Jesus.

Daaamn. Who knew the sob story was a legitimate pre-requisite for a journey on this show?!? 

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Colton seems like the kind of guy who wants his woman to need him on some level.  Your life is happy?  There’s no deep, emotional trauma in your life that you’d like big, strong Colton to fix?  Hit the road...not interested.

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16 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Daaamn. Who knew the sob story was a legitimate pre-requisite for a journey on this show?!? 

I think you're being sarcastic....  But I still think it made Colton look dumb.

Speaking of reasons I could never be on this show, a pool party on international television!  Hell no.

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11 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Damn, that was cold.  I am glad Caitlin told him she didn't want to hold his hand. 

Right. I’m sure she was thinking that they are finally talking. I guess he wanted it all in that conversation. 

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This blonde woman with the cute dimples keeps egging on Hannah.  I get that it's producer driven but why does dimples play along.  

HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHA THE HISS!  AS SOON AS SOMEONE MAKES IT INTO A GIF I'LL BRING IT HERE!

VIDEO OF HANNAH DOING THE HISS.  I'M MAKING THIS TO A GIF NOW

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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Pageant girl Hannah’s smile and high pitched voice while describing her inner rage is puke worthy. 

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4 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I think you're being sarcastic....  But I still think it made Colton look dumb.

Speaking of reasons I could never be on this show, a pool party on international television!  Hell no.

Oh my god no.  In my wig and stretched out bikini. 

wait, I thought he sent the Hanna nemesis home.  Didn’t he? 

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Wow. Methinks Hannah is crazy. Ok, I think we finally figured out who to side with here in the beauty queen battle.

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I really want the next group date to be a competition for who can speak the longest without saying. “Like”. They’d all fail and there’d be no one to hang with the Bach!

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12 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

WTH?!  It’s not like this girl did something so egregious that he had to humiliate her and send her home NOW instead of waiting until tomorrow’s rose ceremony! Buuut, the car was already on stand-by, so I suppose the producers made him send someone home today for dramatic purposes. Sure, girl, he won’t remember you existed let alone regret his life choices over you.

Daaamn. Who knew the sob story was a legitimate pre-requisite for a journey on this show?!? 

Anyone notice her face light up when he got serious and then she looked down at the table and realized there was no group date rose on it and her face fell. Too good. 

Edited by woot
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I dont know if it was a lack of sob story, or if it was a lack of anything. He kept trying to find things to talk to her about, and none of the conversations were taking off. Apparently nothing of impact has happened to her, good or bad. Its hard to tell. But, I dont think they had to walk her off and everything. That seems uncalled for producers!

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