Carl's Hat: The Ultimate Survivor

[PeterPirate]

Carl's hat seems to be able to survive more than anyone or anything else on the show. Look a horse! Oh, never mind. I see a helicopter! Whoops. Dale! Zombies! Oh, I guess he's deaf AND blind.

 

The hat has survived the apocalypse. It's survived an explosion, seeing his mother die and his shooting her, so you guys tell me. What else can Carl's hat do? What else will it survive?

[JBody]

Carl's Hat didn't know what to think.  The Python was taking a dirt nap outside the compound (with a Colt Commander, two Uzis, a Remington shotgun and a Bowtech bow*).  How convenient...  Katana and Crossbow were also seething at this turn of events.  What to do, what to do...  Maybe it could sneak out the slighty opened door where Python's owner was mumbling over and over “thays gone feel purt stoopid when thay find out thays a’screwin with the rong people” and go wake those lazy bastard guns.  Maybe it would get filled with holes like swiss cheese by those shots with the infinite ammo cheat outside; maybe it'd be grilled up on the bbq alonside rack of human; maybe it'd be confiscated like Pocket Watch, Ugly Poncho and Riot Gear but HELL, come on now, it wasn't a half bad plan, come to think of it.  Any outcome would be better than stuck in a metal boxcar with a dozen stinking humans in a Georgia summer........

*AMC Story Sync

[CletusMusashi]

You know, this thread re-emerging doesn't surprise me as much as it should.

If anything can possibly survive the nuking of TWOP, it's Carl's Hat.

[Rosiejuliemom]

Carl's Hat has to be made of Nintendium. It will outlive us all.

[Boofish]

People risked their lives for that hat - Rick (in the alley) Glen (in the street getting the guns). I think it gives Carl magical powers, every time he tips the hat, an angel gets its wings. When he was mad at Rick for the 19,383,732nd time, he dropped that badge but he didn't give up that hat. I would like to see the people of Terminus try and take that hat. That's when hell will reign down on The Arm and a Leg Cafe'

[CletusMusashi]

I've actually been wondering lately whether or not The Hat bestows immortality.

I mean, seriously, how else do you explain Carl still being alive?

Edited July 30, 2014 by CletusMusashi

[Rosiejuliemom]

I've actually been wondering lately whether or not The Hat bestows immortality.

I mean, seriously, how else do you explain Carl still being alive?

 

That is a really good question. I'm leaning toward yes, if only because Beth also wore The Hat and is (as far as we know) still alive.

[PeterPirate]

Katana was unhappy at being left behind by the human with the muddy face. It understood why Crossbow was saved. Crossbow was a fan favorite, after all. Crossbow had killed many enemies of the humans, living and dead. But why was Wristwatch saved too? What had it done to deserve that? Nothing, nothing! Even worse still, it looked like Katana was about to be replaced by upstart Makeshift Double Blade.

 

To console itself, Katana recalled the time when the human with the long braids rescued it from Woodbury. "She will come back for me again", it told itself.  

[diebartdie]

So glad Carl's hat managed to find its way here, now I really knnow I'm home!

[mandolin]

I'm actually choked up by Katana's story.

Can't wait for that reunion. (Please, show!)

[Rosiejuliemom]

While Crossbow and Wristwatch were indeed rescued, the spotlight temporarily shifted to some new players. Guts Poncho was instrumental in taking down the Termites, as were Makeshift Double Blade and Sock Shank. Even Hershel's Pocket Watch got to help prepare the others for glorious battle.

 

Colt Python used his status as leader of the guns to soothe the other weapons' rage at being left behind.

 

Red Machete is now lusting for hipster blood, though it is not quite sure why.

 

Hat remains firmly affixed to The Boy's head. No amount of wishing or gum-popping can dislodge it.

 

Sadly, the whereabouts  of Katana, Poncho, Sasha's Ugly Sweater, and Orange Backpack are currently unknown.

[NurseGiGi]

Katana, you have to be saved!  I will pay your ransom, as long as it's not more than $17 since that's all I have in my wallet.

 

The Termites give new meaning to the phrase "that katana cost me an arm and a leg!".

[Seawolff]

Carls hat is holding its breath...... It has been passed around, and there are a few nicks, but please, please don't let it get near the mullet!

[kikismom]

Carl's Hat knew it had the magical ability to shape-shift; it could even make it's wearer mutate. (Or mutant; Carl's Hat got them confused.) But there was an inspiring effort to adapt by this rag-tag bunch of fighters. (Carl's Hat almost said guerillas; but he'd got confused about that one time and thought-wave-rallied gorillas and it was a hot mess.)

Zipper was the only wild-card. It hadn't faced any action with strangers in a long time, just the touch of It's Master's Hand. Would it's teeth still be sharp? (one time they sure were and that was a hot mess but that's for another conversation.)

Rosita's Belt Buckle gave Carl's Hat confidence. It had been through a lot of sudden clashes, a veteran.

As were the now-sharpened wires of Rosita's Hoop Earrings. Both of them had modestly volunteered to serve the forces of Good, then return to their quiet lives of providing a place for Rosita to rest her feet.

Carl's Hat heard the growling noises of Zipper.

Yes, it was time to unzip hell.

[walnutqueen]

The picture of Carl's Hat sits in the attic, waiting patiently.

[Disraeli Ears]

Haha, one of my Facebook friends was lamenting the loss of Super Hyundai (with unlimited gas mileage) and I said, "Well, at least we still have Carl's Hat."

And I thought it was nice that the Hat got a shout out in the first episode.

[CletusMusashi]

Maybe C.F.H. will ditch the weird kid, and have a side-adventure with Beth and Katana.

[kikismom]

Carl's Hat wondered how things could go so wrong! Then so right! Then so wrong again! First it was that shit at the church, the mysterious new character Communion Wine.

Carl's Hat, Crossbow, Katana Sheath all stared in suspicion---who the hell is this? They expected Ernest And Julio Gallo For Wal-Mart Gallon Jug but this fakakta vine-yard label just wasn't right for 3 years into the ZA!  We in Fancyland now! grumbled Carl's Hat until Rick's Watch said I get it, yeah I get it! until Katana Sheath told them to break it up.

Then Rick's Watch said I'm goin' back where I belong and so should you and Carol's Watch said I ain't nobody's bitch and Rick's Watch Yes you are and Carol's Watch said Am not until Katana Sheath told them to break it up.

Then Carl's Nuts said to Watch Chain what are you laughin' at? You're busted! The only thing broken about this group is you! and Watch Chain said Oh hell no the only missing link in this group is the human with the mullet and Carl's Nuts said Eat me! and Watch Chain said Someday, somebody will and Katana Sheath told Carl's Nuts to leave the group.

Then they discovered a mob of Little Religious Coloring Book Pictures all raising Cain in their little high-pitched voices. Most of them were repeating each other and Carl's Hat could only pick out something about 40 days wandering with a burning bush and Katana Sheath's friend Too Tight Pants was saying I get it , yeah I get it until Carl's Hat got embarrassed and asked them to stop and they said You should know---you've been felt for years and they laughed and Carl's Hat went outside. But it knew that damn Communion Wine was the troublemaker, and as the night fell dark Carl's Hat wished Carl's Nuts were still close.

Edited October 22, 2014 by kikismom

[PeterPirate]

Clerical Collar is hiding something, and Colt Python is very suspicious. "You're not safe", it tells the Hat.  

[kikismom]

Carl's Hat fumed.

But we can still help the humans, it protested bravely. We don't have to be afraid anymore. Well, maybe Clerical Collar does. It sure keeps Red-Handled Machete on edge. By the way, when are you going to explain why everyone thinks it's funny when your bush is burning?

Colt Python sighed. It tilted forward and cocked it's hammer to one side to show it was about to say something important.

Focus! It only takes one second! No matter how many others are around, you are not safe!

Cart's Hat brightened as though a light bulb had gone on inside it's crown.

Oh wow! You mean the way The Mullet winked at me when it's missing-link wearer refilled my glass of wine and said 'Feelin' better, Violet?'

What did that mean, anyway?

Colt Python sighed again. Never mind. Later. Right now I gotta take care of somebody's stuff...and thangs.

Edited October 22, 2014 by kikismom

[Rosiejuliemom]

Katana has been reunited with her person and all is right in Katana's mind.

 

Red-Handled Machete's thirst for hipster blood has been quenched. For now.

[Pete Martell]

Bus doesn't understand why it's so popular after so much alone time. It's happy to be of use, and even happier to get away from the weeping priest who sometimes sat in it and touched its seats in an inappropriate, overfamiliar way, but that man with the mullet (Bus hadn't seen one of those since his last tour with Billy Ray Cyrus) and the man with the stupid mustache just Don't. Shut. Up. Mustache man smirked and said, "So your wheels do go round and round?" and kicked a tire just for...kicks. 

 

Bus has plans to "accidentally" lose the brakes long enough to make Rambore into Roadkill.

[GreyBunny]

Maggie's Plunging Neckline Shirt is in love with Bus.

Edited October 27, 2014 by GreyBunny

[kikismom]

Maggie's Push-Up Bra is in love with Grey Tank Top's Nipples.

[PeterPirate]

Katana has been reunited with her person and all is right in Katana's mind.  

 

Katana is unaware of its owner's ambivalence toward it.  Yes, Katana is back in service, but only out necessity.  

 

Poor Katana. It's been friendzoned.  

Edited October 27, 2014 by PeterPirate

[editorgrrl]

From the Entertainment Weekly recap of "Four Walls & a Roof":

Judith starts crying. The cannibals flock outside the door...and then, from out of the shadows steps Colt Grimes, followed by his father/holder Rick. Colt Grimes has a couple of counterarguments for Gareth, and one of those counterarguments blows a couple of Gareth's fingers clean off. Yes, it was the old double-cross: The Grimes Gang only wanted the cannibals to think they were attacking their base.

Edited October 28, 2014 by editorgrrl

[mandolin]

Except it wasn't the Colt. It was an all black gun with a silencer on the end.

Boo, EW.

Edited October 28, 2014 by mandolin

[Nashville]

Except it wasn't the Colt. It was an all black gun with a silencer on the end.

Boo, EW.

Agreed. Wouldn't have worked on a Python anyhow. Putting a silencer on a magnum would be akin to trying to shut up your mother-in-law with a stick of gum.

[editorgrrl]

I know nothing of guns. But it's the first time I've seen anyone other than all y'all (here & at TWoP) practice TWD anthropomorphism.

[AngelaHunter]

Bus doesn't understand why it's so popular after so much alone time. It's happy to be of use, and even happier to get away from the weeping priest who sometimes sat in it and touched its seats in an inappropriate, overfamiliar way, but that man with the mullet (Bus hadn't seen one of those since his last tour with Billy Ray Cyrus) and the man with the stupid mustache just Don't. Shut. Up. Mustache man smirked and said, "So your wheels do go round and round?" and kicked a tire just for...kicks.

 

Bus has plans to "accidentally" lose the brakes long enough to make Rambore into Roadkill.

 

This is the best, and longest, laugh I've had all day!

[Rosiejuliemom]

I know nothing of guns. But it's the first time I've seen anyone other than all y'all (here & at TWoP) practice TWD anthropomorphism.

 

 

It is surprisingly easy to do with this show. 

[PeterPirate]

Like the Giving Tree, Lollipop Jar was happy to sacrifice itself to save the pixieish human. 

 

Caravaggio, on the other hand, just sat there like a gym sock on a shower rod.  

[Pete Martell]

Lollipop Jar, on behalf of the Lollipop Guild, wants to make it clear and official that it does not condone use of its contents by creepy rapist pigs. Shards of Lollipop Jar doused themselves in his blood in the name of true justice. 

 

Syringe also doesn't appreciate being used in wicked schemes against the innocent.

 

Sheet Rope has no idea why that guy had such a hard time holding onto it after those many, many laundry sessions should have made him familiar with its grip, but it did its best to help. It appreciates that no one made any "Oh sheeet!!!" jokes as they fell to the ground.

[kikismom]

Lollipop Jar appreciates that no one made any "Here's your Parting Glass, perv!" jokes as it smashed the creepy human's head.

[PeterPirate]

Back in the day, there were comments from some that it was impossible for Old Tank to fire its gun during Prison Battle 2.0. Now, there are whispers that it was ridiculous that Firetruck was able to power its hose. These inorganic artists continue to steal the scenes.  

 

And Short Bus--in a world where all the little vehicles at the factory want to become Firetrucks and Police Cruisers--not only managed to show some hops, it went out in a blaze of glory. Top of the world, Ma!  

[Pete Martell]

Bus had lived a good long life. It had survived many traumas, including two Hootie and the Blowfish tours, a Welk reunion concert where Ana Cani and one of the Lennon Sisters spilled their Sprites on its last good seat and never bothered to clean up afterward, and that last Lilith Fair no one really wanted to talk about.

 

The idea of days or weeks of mustache man poking at its radiator and the mullet mutterer counting each and every seat, giving each seat random "scientific" names, then counting the seats again - Bus lost the will to live. The last straw was when Kaptain Kool Aid leered at his long-suffering lady love, telling her they were going to christen every seat. 

 

No. Never. The old pastor who always asked the mayor's wife to help him "tune his organ" was mind-scarring enough. Bus had to go.

 

Mullet mumbler had put some crap in Bus to try to leave it at the church, but no go. Bus was stronger than that. Bus was going to go out with a bang.

 

The other people weren't so bad, and it really hadn't meant to "flame on" when that tranquilized lady who stared at the cute, non-annoying guy a lot tried to step back on, but Bus loved a dramatic exit. Who didn't?

 

Peace and tranquility for always. Some roaming walkers too, but if Bus was being honest, the only real difference between walkers and people was better skin care. 

 

And it couldn't really hold that against people.

 

As the charred radio's last hand claps of "Calcutta" played in time with the dying sun, Bus thought of that clumsy lady who kept apologizing to it every time she bumped against a seat. 

 

It hoped she'd make it.

Edited November 12, 2014 by Pete Martell

[GreyBunny]

Maggie's Plunging Neckline Shirt mourns the loss of Bus.  Bus was funny and loyal and dedicated.  Maggie's Plunging Neckline Shirt vows to strangle mulletman who put crushed glass in her crush's gas line.

[CletusMusashi]

Can of Beans feels terrible about what happened that day. Oh, not about killing rapists! it's actually quite proud of that. But perhaps if it hadn't given up its contents so readily afterwards, that poor family wouldn't have died running from Sideboob Man's flatulence.

[PeterPirate]

Modern Art was happy that the female human appreciated its message. But it really marveled at the male human's ability to discern that it had been created by dipping a dog in paint and dragging its ass along a canvas. Unfortunately, unlike Crossbow and Wristwatch, it was left behind.  So there it hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod.  

 

Bookshelf continues the tradition of causing trouble for black male humans. 

 

But the real star of this episode was Van, whose cat-like reflexes enabled it to fall nose first and yet land on its tires.  

 

 

 

(By the way, I cribbed "gym sock on a shower rod" and "cat-like reflexes" from The West Wing, my all-time favorite show. Along those lines, my original post for this thread was copy&pasted from KirkB's post from this site's predecessor. Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright.)

 

 

[JBody]

KirkB! I enjoyed his posts.

And Doom and his kudzu kraziness.

[Nashville]

Car was pleased with itself. 

Car got to hit somebody, and that made its people very happy.

Car resolved to hit more people whenever it could and make its people even happier.

 

Crossbow enjoyed its little vacation, but was glad to be home again.

 

Assault Rifle just didn't give a shit.

Edited November 18, 2014 by Nashville

[GreyBunny]

Sleeping Bags were determined to do their part and keep the dead ones from crawling out and hurting others.  Then the alive ones arrived and stopped the dead ones from further attempts to escape.  Sleeping Bags finally get to rest and be pleased with themselves for a job well done.  

Edited November 18, 2014 by GreyBunny

[PeterPirate]

Strawberries make the most important fructose-based contribution to the show since the Hippie Fruits.  

 

Tara's Yo-Yo adds new potency to her fist bumps.  

 

Meanwhile, oblivious to all the commotion, Andrea's Thong poured itself another drink.  
(That was my favorite post from Carl's Hat 1.0.)

Edited November 25, 2014 by PeterPirate

[CletusMusashi]

Is it wrong that I ship Andrea's Thong with Governor's Eyepatch?

[BrokenRemote]

OK, the crew in this forum obviously has a handle on the important stuff on The Walking Dead (no shade, just respect!)  I need some advice: where is the best place to discuss Sasha's horrible wig?

[JBody]

OK, the crew in this forum obviously has a handle on the important stuff on The Walking Dead (no shade, just respect!) I need some advice: where is the best place to discuss Sasha's horrible wig?

I think in this thread, as long as it has something interesting to say.... maybe it has a sibling rivalry going with Tyreese's toque?

[BrokenRemote]

I think in this thread, as long as it has something interesting to say.... maybe it has a sibling rivalry going with Tyreese's toque?

Thanks.  That has me thinking--what is he hiding under that toque?  We've seen his un-betoqued head a time or two, but maybe the actor was given a choice between bad wig and bad hat, and made a desperate decision...  (It is a shame Sasha has that wig, because Sonequa has gorgeous hair from what I've seen.)  

 

Sasha's Wig is obviously the boss of the family, what with detatching itself from her head at night and going on rampages (which explains why it's often fitted so badly--due to its hurried flight back to Sasha's head when it's about to be caught--and why it's so rough-looking.)  Tyrese and Tyrese's Toque obviously live in fear of Sasha's Wig, having seen first-hand the results of its sprees, and this is why they are both pacifists.

[Nashville]

Rosita's Shorts..........

...I'm sorry - what was I saying?

[GreyBunny]

Bob's Mystery Box cackles with glee because no one knows what lurks within.

[kikismom]

Bob's Mystery Box cackles with glee because no one knows what lurks within.