S06.E16: Melissa Morris

[Ray Adverb]

That was a strange episode.  It's set long after the original operation.  It deals with the semi-celebrity status that comes from being on the show, but it also shows the real person behind this.  I also thought it was strange that Christina Phillips, arguably the show's most successful participant, was prominently in so many shots, but never spoke a word and did not have a caption under her name.  That drove me kinda crazy.

[lulu69]

I found it interesting in one talking head at her kitchen island Melissa referred to once  being 150lbs and perfect, but her husband still cheated. Not to diminsh Melissa's accomplishment, 150lbs for any morbidly obese person is certainly incredible but Melissa was far from perfect; like most bariatric patients who lose tremendous amounts of weight, she was lumpy, misshapen and flabby. Its interesting she idealizes that point in her life. She was perfect then and now she's not?

The other thing was Melissa stated she's been with Chris for 21yrs and he's been cheating for 6 of those years. I felt like saying, 'honey, chances are he's been at it way longer than that'. My sister married a similar type guy. Turns out he was carrying on multiple affairs/hookups before they ever married and marriage didn't slow him down one bit. 30yrs later he's still at it and yes, said sister is still with him despite now knowing the truth. Serial cheaters rarely change.

[auntjess]

2 hours ago, RayAdverb said:

I also thought it was strange that Christina Phillips, arguably the show's most successful participant, was prominently in so many shots, but never spoke a word and did not have a caption under her name.

Probably legal stuff.  Maybe she no long has a relationship with the show.  Some of them don't.

[Armchair Critic]

23 hours ago, aliya said:

 taking your laundry out of the living room when you don't work and a national TV program is coming to your house to film.

HA! I may not always keep my house the cleanest but I would be embarrassed to have it look that way on national tv, I have too much pride. But then again letting yourself be filmed for this show already means you have let go of your pride. Also Melissa doesn't even look like she keeps herself clean. I realize she has to work with a misshapen body but she could dress better and (in my opinion) she usually looks like she needs a shower.

Edited April 29, 2018 by Armchair Critic

[Trees]

All the comments about "why didn't she clean up for the camera crew"?  Maybe she DID!  Maybe that all the mess was the tidy version of how they lived!

I agree with the poster who said "I'm a documentary type person".  Me too. I preferred this one to those will all kinds of drama.  I did skip over lots of it and voiceovers.

I could not help thinking, about Chris being outed as such a serial-cheater and then that nasty Schenee and her loser husband Freddy popped into my mind.  Imagine Chris starting up a GoFundMe to raise money to "get the truth out" about how badly (unfairly!!!!!) he was portrayed on the show?

Yeah, that career counselor... what a loser.  Sounds like the type who wants to just boost people up with fake confidence-builders rather than showing them a dose of unpleasant reality.  Um, no, Melissa, with your greasy hair and inability to keep your weight off, you're not going to be able to support yourself and 3 children as a motivational speaker.

[kj4ever]

On 4/26/2018 at 11:15 AM, Maricopa said:

Indeed, 150 is not underweight for almost any woman unless she's unusually tall; when I hit that # I started looking like Twitney's Pooh-on-the-beach photo. I'm 5'6 and it's 150 is 25 lbs. overweight for me, according to my MD (just got down to 137, yay)! I do not understand why Dr. Now would recommend weight gain unless someone is showing symptoms of anorexic-type eating disorders. Melissa did it once before, and I hope she can get back down to 150-ish. She looked quite good at that weight.

She hasn't had all the skin removal surgery done yet, so she easily could have had a lot of poundage in skin on her still.

I'm 5'8 and weigh 150.  If I lost any more I would look sickly for sure.  I've been at my goal weight for over a year now, and have no desire to lose any more.

I lost my weight doing Weight Watchers, and I still attend the meetings once a month to keep my app (that I LOVE) free, and it never ceases to amaze me the same people sitting in those chairs from when I first started a year and a half ago that still look the same or bigger.  I try not to be judgmental, but when they start spouting out their sage advice to the new ones I can't help but think who the hell are they to tell these people what to do?

I kind of felt the same way about Melissa and her desire to do public speaking.  Yes, she's come a long way, but she needs to get her crap together more before she could even consider a career with that.  I mean she can only hold up that skirt so many times.

I remember when I first saw her show and thought she should get rid of her husband back then.  He was a total tool.  Nope, she just kept popping out kids with him.

Edited April 29, 2018 by kj4ever

[Caoimhe]

6 hours ago, kj4ever said:

She hasn't had all the skin removal surgery done yet, so she easily could have had a lot of poundage in skin on her still.

I'm 5'8 and weigh 150.  If I lost any more I would look sickly for sure.  I've been at my goal weight for over a year now, and have no desire to lose any more.

I lost my weight doing Weight Watchers, and I still attend the meetings once a month to keep my app (that I LOVE) free, and it never ceases to amaze me the same people sitting in those chairs from when I first started a year and a half ago that still look the same or bigger.  I try not to be judgmental, but when they start spouting out their sage advice to the new ones I can't help but think who the hell are they to tell these people what to do?

I kind of felt the same way about Melissa and her desire to do public speaking.  Yes, she's come a long way, but she needs to get her crap together more before she could even consider a career with that.  I mean she can only hold up that skirt so many times.

I remember when I first saw her show and thought she should get rid of her husband back then.  He was a total tool.  Nope, she just kept popping out kids with him.

 

People have different body types and different composition of muscle and bone so goal weights will differ widely.  I am 150-ish (well the scale said 153 today) and am 25 pounds overweight even though it’s in the normal range for my height (5’7”).  Even though I am still maintaining a loss of over 100 pounds this is failure to me. (I may even try going back to WW, wonder if my Lifetime Membership still exists!)

Anyway back on topic...  I agree about Melissa and the skirt and can’t see how she could motivate anyone until SHE starts to feel better about herself and get her act together.

I think she was so focused on motherhood as her ultimate goal that she ignored Chris’ indiscretions.  I suppose she thought it was easier than dumping him and looking for a decent man to have children with!

Edited April 29, 2018 by ThereButFor

[Colleenna]

Throughout this episode, I kept (mentally) repeating my "mantra:"  

"You can't fix what you're eating till you fix what's eating you."

Melissa won't sustain weight loss until she gets to the root of her "worthlessness."

[Ray Adverb]

On 4/28/2018 at 2:08 PM, auntjess said:

Probably legal stuff.  Maybe she no long has a relationship with the show.  Some of them don't.

That's probably a good guess.  It's just so weird though.  It's like that thing in a scripted show where you have a character in the foreground, and even have other characters speaking directly to them, but the foreground character doesn't say a word.

[gonecrackers]

13 hours ago, Colleenna said:

Throughout this episode, I kept (mentally) repeating my "mantra:"  

"You can't fix what you're eating till you fix what's eating you."

Melissa won't sustain weight loss until she gets to the root of her "worthlessness."

Totally agree. I think she's also aware of this, but it will be a long process for her.

I don't fault her having children with such a schmuck, because it is due to her feelings of worthlessness that she would accept him & a miserable life with him. She really didn't know any better at the time & that is not something easily understood if not struggling with her issues. At least she's finally waking up & they are apart (if they stay that way, hopefully).

I also don't believe she was going to start a speaking career any time soon, as she kept saying she wasn't ready, so she's aware she needs to get her own 'crap together' first. It's not something that will ever sustain her as a career & I suspect the 'career counselor' was a plant or just something to do for the show.

If she can write at all it would serve her better to get a professional blog going & YouTube etc; use her SM following & writing to get her word out, eventually, when she's ready. Many people make money that way & it would keep her home for her kids. Since she wanted them more than anything she should probably stay close to home working on herself & giving them a good base for a better life.

I felt very bad for Melissa. She's a success, really, in that she's kept most of that huge amount of weight off through pregnancies & a stressful marriage, but still sees herself as a failure & is unable to love & accept herself 'as is'. When she can finally achieve that her outlook will improve & other 'successes' will follow.

[Elizzikra]

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I don't fault her having children with such a schmuck, because it is due to her feelings of worthlessness that she would accept him & a miserable life with him.

She said she was "totally in love with him" - for whatever reason, sometimes nice people fall in love with asshats. I think she wanted children and had invested a long time in the relationship. She loved him and wanted kids with him. Also the time window was closing which didn't leave her a lot of time to find someone else, develop a relationship and get pregnant. Put all that together and Melissa ends up the mother of asshat-offspring.

Intensive therapy would work wonders for her - possibly with medication. I hope she gets it - I think she has excellent potential for a happy and fulfilling life if she gets the right sort of support and guidance.

Quote

If she can write at all it would serve her better to get a professional blog going & YouTube etc; use her SM following & writing to get her word out, eventually, when she's ready. Many people make money that way & it would keep her home for her kids. 

I still think a CNA is a great option for her. She can complete a course in six weeks and become a nursing assistant. Work in a bariatric hospital or practice would be ideal for her but I can also see her deriving great satisfaction helping the elderly. CNAs are not typically highly paid positions but they are in demand and it would provide a steady income. She could use it as a springboard if she wanted to becoming an RN, a social worker or a dietician at some point if she wanted. I think that she would be good at it and the confidence she would gain from doing meaningful work really well could also work wonders for her self-esteem. That was what I was hoping she would hear from the career counselor instead of the totally unrealistic (in my opinion) advice that she got.

[Lunula]

On 4/26/2018 at 7:13 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

I posted about Melissa not too long ago around here, because I was wondering what she was up to.  My research found an article about her journey and it said that she was struggling due to having to steer clear of the junk food the kids have in the house.  I said then, WHY would she keep junk food in the house for the kids.  They don't need it and neither does she.  To me, that indicates very poor judgment.  Why help set your kids up for obesity later on in their lives?  Why don't people think of this?  To me, they use the kids as an excuse to buy it, then eat it themselves.  Just part of the BS. 

THIS. I am not a parent, but I can say, I was the youngest of three and we did not have junk food in the house on a regular basis. We would get a small cookie or something in our packed lunch (if we took a lunch to school) and other than special events (holidays, parties, etc.), the occasional bag of chips, or when my mom got a hankering for chocolate chip cookies, it wasn't there. Did we complain? Sure. But who cares? We didn't run the house, my parents did. We didn't get to choose what we ate for dinner, we ate what mom made. We didn't whine because there wasn't junk food in the house, we celebrated when we got something. 

We weren't health freaks and I didn't grow up poor or whatever, it was just a normal family. I NEVER get it when I hear stupid excuses like that from people - that they HAVE to have junk food in the house for kids. Why the hell would you want your kids to eat junk every single day? 

We were also lamenting through this episode about how boring it was. She was fine, seems relatively bright and motivated, didn't blame her issues on everybody else - but it was like that friend who complains about the same stuff every time you see her - after hearing it 50x, you just want to walk away. Why wouldn't they a have done a two person follow up episode? 

[SunnyBeBe]

I think that some people, depending on the way they grow up (and in Melissa's case), equate love with junk food, fried, fatty, high carb, stuff.  That's why they gorge on it when they feel they need rewarding or if they want the child to feel special.  What they don't get is that they are sabotaging the child for teen and/or adult obesity.  I recall talking to a family member about how the greatest gift you could give a child would be to grow up healthy, without hardcore addiction to sugar and fatty food....She looked at me like I was crazy and preceded to load her kid up on pizza, fries, candy, etc.  to the point the doctors were getting on her to stop it.   Now that's dense, imo. 

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I think that some people, depending on the way they grow up (and in Melissa's case), equate love with junk food, fried, fatty, high carb, stuff.  That's why they gorge on it when they feel they need rewarding or if they want the child to feel special.  What they don't get is that they are sabotaging the child for teen and/or adult obesity.  I recall talking to a family member about how the greatest gift you could give a child would be to grow up healthy, without hardcore addiction to sugar and fatty food....She looked at me like I was crazy and preceded to load her kid up on pizza, fries, candy, etc.  to the point the doctors were getting on her to stop it.   Now that's dense, imo. 

I was reading an article about nutrition based on socio-economic and educational background (I’ll try to find it). The Just was that poor/less educated people weren’t as ignorant about nutrition as it was assumed, but that high sugar/fat junk food was the one luxury they could afford to provide their kids compared to those with more disposable income. 

I could see Melissa falling into this trap. There’s nothing in the world stronger than a Mother’s Guilt and I could see her feeling guilty about the things the kids don’t have (Married parents) and what she can give them. 

 

Im not excusing it, just thinking there’s something deeper there. 

[IvySpice]

To me, it's not surprising that she kept taking the cheating husband back...she wanted three kids. I've seen lots of women make these choices. If this is enough kids for her, then he may stay gone. If she wants another, we'll see him back.

I'm working on what I hope will be a future career as a motivational speaker, and the problem I see with Melissa is that she doesn't appear to enjoy being on stage. That's kind of important.

[Trees]

I wonder what kind of losers that dreadful Chris is hooking up with now!  I wonder if he promotes in his dating profiles that he's a "TV star"?  I hope he's not producing more and more fatherless kids with desperate women.

I wonder why Melissa doesn't move back to where her family lives?  They sure could help with her single mom life style a lot more than that loser Chris does.

[Elizzikra]

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I wonder why Melissa doesn't move back to where her family lives?  They sure could help with her single mom life style a lot more than that loser Chris does.

I wondered that too. Although Chris is a turd, he's the kids' father and she may not want to cut them off from him entirely by moving so far. 

Sadly, I'm guessing Chris has no shortage of women to date. He seems pretty practiced at identifying women who succumb to his particular "charms."

[leFay]

She probably didn't want to move closer to her family because then that would make it officially over between her and Chris-  you just KNOW she will take his ass back 50 more times before those kids go to college!!! He doesn't seem like he'd be an involved parent, he's too busy chasing new lady ass all the time... 

Unfortunately, guys like Chris will always find women to date... the only standard that a lot of women out there have is that the guy have a pulse and a dick... raise your standards, ladies cos you're only encouraging these losers!

[pdlinda]

On 4/30/2018 at 8:54 AM, gonecrackers said:

I felt very bad for Melissa. She's a success, really, in that she's kept most of that huge amount of weight off through pregnancies & a stressful marriage, but still sees herself as a failure & is unable to love & accept herself 'as is'.

They had a re-run of this episode last night and although I saw it a few years ago I watched it again.  

The thing thing that struck me most about Melissa was that she spent so much time crying throughout the years.  She also seemed very sad and (as was mentioned ) very down on herself.  I thought the state of her home and her physical appearance lent themselves to believing that she may have been clinically depressed and possibly in need of medication to lift her mood.

Most people are aware that medications may make a world of difference to someone like Melissa who seemed to be mired in grief and so much sadness.

Perhaps this was a subject addressed by her therapist (they always work with psychiatrists to provide medical intervention in cases where medication is warranted).

Anyhow, I wonder how melissa is doing now and whether her lie circumstances have improved.