S01.E02: Risky Business

[Galloway Cave]

Quote

After meeting someone online, the Snowdons worry about how their family will respond; the Alldredges decide whether or not to move forward with Melina; the Brineys adjust to their new wife with impending legal issues.

[Christi]

I have to ff through most of this, since it skeeves me out so much.

I did pay attention to the "talk" with the kids...and THAT was downright child abuse.?

[Galloway Cave]

I came away from this episode with so much hate for the Brineys. Scaring the kids like that is just such a shitty thing to do. There is no reason to do it. There are plenty of plygs in their area. Hopefully once the cameras stop rolling they tell them to ignore everything they said and it was just for the show.

Dimitri is in this game for the extra tail. Period.

Daddy Alldrege will play along with meeting Melina for a bit but will dump her pretty quickly. If a new wife can't show the world how virile and fertile the husband is, then why marry her?

Watching two plyg shows back to back is too much.

[Sasha888]

I'm sorry, but acting like you're so afraid of the neighbors finding out - or worse *gasp!* the police - is just recycled bullshit from Sister Wives. YOU'VE PUT YOURSELVES OUT THERE ON TV, IDIOTS! 

Oh, but the tv thing is a big sacrifice on their part, to break down the "polygamy prejudice" - um, no, that's just more recycled bullshit, also from SW. Seriously, were they just handed a script from season one of Sister Wives? At least bring something new to the table.

@Galloway Cave, you seem to know a lot more than I would about Utah and the surrounding areas...has anyone even been prosecuted and jailed for polygamy in say, the last 20 years or so? I get the feeling that this is just a fake threat these kind of shows use to elicit sympathy. And I mean jailed JUST for having more than one wife, not any jail time for child abuse, child brides, welfare fraud, or the myriad of other things that kind of go hand in hand with polygamy...because my understanding (through a friend) was basically that if you have healthy, happy kids and don't do any of those other things, nobody really cares if you have more than one wife.

[Sasha888]

3 hours ago, Christi said:

I have to ff through most of this, since it skeeves me out so much.

I did pay attention to the "talk" with the kids...and THAT was downright child abuse.?

That little blonde boy was heartbroken when he was told he couldn't call his father Daddy. I think this is a perceived threat in the minds of the adults, not a REAL threat, so I feel that they did that to him for no good reason.

[Sasha888]

My opinion so far of April is that she's a bitch. Her body language totally changes when someone says something she doesn't like. She also seems really possessive of the husband (how that dweeb got 3 women to marry him, I'll never know).

My guess is in that household, if April ain't happy, ain't NOBODY gonna be happy. Beeeyotch.

[EtheltoTillie]

2 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

I'm sorry, but acting like you're so afraid of the neighbors finding out - or worse *gasp!* the police - is just recycled bullshit from Sister Wives. YOU'VE PUT YOURSELVES OUT THERE ON TV, IDIOTS! 

Oh, but the tv thing is a big sacrifice on their part, to break down the "polygamy prejudice" - um, no, that's just more recycled bullshit, also from SW. Seriously, were they just handed a script from season one of Sister Wives? At least bring something new to the table.

@Galloway Cave, you seem to know a lot more than I would about Utah and the surrounding areas...has anyone even been prosecuted and jailed for polygamy in say, the last 20 years or so? I get the feeling that this is just a fake threat these kind of shows use to elicit sympathy. And I mean jailed JUST for having more than one wife, not any jail time for child abuse, child brides, welfare fraud, or the myriad of other things that kind of go hand in hand with polygamy...because my understanding (through a friend) was basically that if you have healthy, happy kids and don't do any of those other things, nobody really cares if you have more than one wife.

Also, I don't know about the Utah penal codes, but I always thought that bigamy was really a crime to punish deceit: a man marrying more than one woman and living a double life without telling either one. Or disappearing and going someplace else and marrying a second woman while the first one wonders where he is and has no child support. Not for open polygamy, which is just something else. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, GussieK said:

Also, I don't know about the Utah penal codes, but I always thought that bigamy was really a crime to punish deceit: a man marrying more than one woman and living a double life without telling either one. Or disappearing and going someplace else and marrying a second woman while the first one wonders where he is and has no child support. Not for open polygamy, which is just something else. 

I think because of Utah’s history there ARE still laws on the books criminalizing co-habitation between consenting adults if one party is legally married. That’s what people are getting at, in PRACTICE polygamy itself has not been prosecuted without other crimes (child abuse, welfare fraud etc) but it’s still illegal per state law  

Dont get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to live this lifestyle but those statues should be removed from the books. The state should not be able to tell consenting adults whom they can co-habit with or have children with. Child abuse, welfare fraud etc are still illegal in any circumstance. The thing is a lot of these statues don’t get removed without law suits, think of Lawrence vs Texas......”sodomy” was still very much illegal in Texas in the late 90s although many gay people lived openly, especially in big cities. 

[spacefly]

9 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think because of Utah’s history there ARE still laws on the books criminalizing co-habitation between consenting adults if one party is legally married. That’s what people are getting at, in PRACTICE polygamy itself has not been prosecuted without other crimes (child abuse, welfare fraud etc) but it’s still illegal per state law  

So does anyone know what The Brown's lawsuit against the state was about? I thought in some ways it did away with this stuff but it is still in appeals so maybe not finalized.
 

[EtheltoTillie]

Interesting info. I think sometimes these statutes don't get removed because they are not prosecuting anyone, so there is no reason for anyone to sue. 

[Scarlett45]

45 minutes ago, GussieK said:

Interesting info. I think sometimes these statutes don't get removed because they are not prosecuting anyone, so there is no reason for anyone to sue. 

Like Lawrence in Lawrence vs Texas- they were investigating him for a drug ring, and couldn’t get him on that, but if memory serves me correctly when they busted in his house (they had a warrant) they caught him having sex with his boyfriend (or some guy) and charged him with sodomy.......all the way up to the Supreme Court to get the sodomy laws removed from the books. 

1 hour ago, spacefly said:

So does anyone know what The Brown's lawsuit against the state was about? I thought in some ways it did away with this stuff but it is still in appeals so maybe not finalized.
 

I am not up to date on the status of the Browns’ case, but yes that’s what their lawsuit was about. The decriminalization of polygamy, not making polygamy legal, but decriminalizing the co-habitation/open and notorious aspect of the plural relationships. 

In regards to the black family on this show- I too was getting STRONG polyamourous vibes from the couple although they aren’t saying that?  Only saw episode 2, but yeah I am thinking the wife wants another sexual partner as well. Polyamory makes more sense to me than polygamy. 

Edited January 22, 2018 by Scarlett45

[Granny58]

4 hours ago, GussieK said:

Not for open polygamy, which is just something else

this is what confuses me.  As long as you don't try to legally marry multiple women, then what law is broken?  If they want to spiritually marry, then let the delusional fools go full tilt.  And maybe our view of it is "prejudice" because society has moved on from this desert-linked mentality (3000 years ago when being a single women was more of a death sentence).  

[SL16]

What's up with the Brineys freaking out about people finding out they are polygamists? You're on television claiming to be polygamists. The cat is out of the bag. Stupid, stupid people.

[Pepper Mostly]

11 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

I came away from this episode with so much hate for the Brineys. Scaring the kids like that is just such a shitty thing to do. There is no reason to do it. There are plenty of plygs in their area. Hopefully once the cameras stop rolling they tell them to ignore everything they said and it was just for the show.

 

Those kids looked terrified, and sad. Its cruel of these twits to use them this way.

 

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

In regards to the black family on this show- I too was getting STRONG polyamourous vibes from the couple although they aren’t saying that?  Only saw episode 2, but yeah I am thinking the wife wants another sexual partner as well. Polyamory makes more sense to me than polygamy. 

Oh hell yeah, I called that too. They're dancing around it but its pretty obvious. The wife wants a "best friend"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, Granny58 said:

this is what confuses me.  As long as you don't try to legally marry multiple women, then what law is broken?  If they want to spiritually marry, then let the delusional fools go full tilt.  And maybe our view of it is "prejudice" because society has moved on from this desert-linked mentality (3000 years ago when being a single women was more of a death sentence).  

The law that is broken is the law against open and notorious co-habitation when one party is legally married to someone else, the statues prohibit co-habitation. Because of Utah’s history with polyagamy they actually criminalized co-habitation, not “bigamy” of actually trying to legally marry more than one person  

Think back to a time when adultery, fornication, use of contraception, sodomy and miscegenation were CRIMES under the penal code. Southern states had similar statues regarding co-habitation and fornication among members of different races (although we all know it wasn’t enforced equitably). 

Edited January 22, 2018 by Scarlett45

[Galloway Cave]

12 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

because my understanding (through a friend) was basically that if you have healthy, happy kids and don't do any of those other things, nobody really cares if you have more than one wife.

Everyone has pretty much hit on this so far. In Utah there is a law on the books that says that people can't cohabitate (also affects the LGBT communities). The law was used back in the first half of the century to arrest/harass (but rarely prosecute) polygamists. One of the famous cases was the raid on Short Crick (Colorado City/Hildale) in 1953, but the families were just split up, not prosecuted. Back in 2000, the Utah/Arizona Attorney General offices developed The Primer, which is a document that their investigators follow for investigating and prosecuting cases involving polygamists. They only prosecute polygamists for domestic violence, child abuse and welfare abuses. The Brown lawsuit against the state of Utah, to remove the cohabitation law off the books, was brought by a lawyer who does a lot of work in the LGBT community. He hitched his name to the Browns but wants this to be for all folks affected by the law.

Polygamists have been out in Utah since they arrived. Some of them you can tell by the clothes (prairie dress, men in jeans, belts, button down shirts that are buttoned at wrist and top button at neck, work or cowboy boots). I lived in a plyg town where the family has courted the press for 40+ years. If polygamists are keeping undercover, it is because they are wanting to hide their OWN abuses- welfare fraud, inter-marriages, etc. Can't legally Bleed the Beast if everyone knows the single mom isn't actually single but a plural wife. Colorado City is a hotbed of legal abuses and the leaders were just recently found guilty of food stamp fraud. The Kingston Sect is a horrific mess- financial fraud, inter-marriages (brother/sister) and domestic violence. The AUB sect (Browns, The Brinleys, the Williams) also has financial fraud and domestic violence in it. Polygamists aren't afraid of being arrested for the multiple "marriages", but for the other crap they are doing while being polygamists.

Drew Brinley is an attorney, makes plenty of money for his family and doesn't have to bleed the beast. He has been out for a long time. They are putting on a show for the show. I really don't know why TLC continues this farce. Hiding from people isn't the problem of polygamy. The effect it has on the women living in the situation is the problem. The abuses are the problem. That is why I prefer the show Escaping Polygamy over these TLC shows. It has it's scripted moments, but shows the real side of polygamy.

Edited January 22, 2018 by Galloway Cave

[Palomar]

4 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Those kids looked terrified, and sad. Its cruel of these twits to use them this way.

 

Oh hell yeah, I called that too. They're dancing around it but its pretty obvious. The wife wants a "best friend"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Definitely, especially when the wife complained about the "try out wife" only wanting to be with the husband and not "getting along" with her.

For the Brinleys, you can FEEL the hostility and jealousy between the 1st two wives.  They will be back in separate houses soon after this show is over.  I'm sure the husband likes to escape with the serene 3rd wife.

[TheGreenWave]

1 hour ago, Galloway Cave said:

Hiding from people isn't the problem of polygamy. The effect it has on the women living in the situation is the problem. The abuses are the problem. That is why I prefer the show Escaping Polygamy over these TLC shows. It has it scripted moments, but shows the real side of polygamy.

AMEN to this!  The mental f*ckery that goes on within families especially involving the children is disgusting.  EP is the real story about polygamy - not these dumb shows (I've watched all of these on-and-off, and these families are not healthy environments for anyone involved).

2 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Definitely, especially when the wife complained about the "try out wife" only wanting to be with the husband and not "getting along" with her.

Also, I wanted to shout at her: no sh*t, polygamy is all about competition, sweetheart.  No woman is going to sign on to be your live-in nanny, personal assistant, and bedfellow, without primarily wanting to sleep with and produce babies for your husband.  These women are absolutely fooling themselves that this will be a beneficial, healthy family environment.

[Pepper Mostly]

5 minutes ago, Palomar said:

I'm sure the husband likes to escape with the serene 3rd wife.

Hahaha, right? The bar was low for her. She was 40, wanted a baby, and wasn't picky. She doesn't give a shit! April and Auralee can look daggers at each other over the pans of tater tots, she's got a home and a cute baby and maybe one or two more and a husband she doesn't have to deal with that often. She's all "sure, I'm above the fray. Let those two fight it out".

[RedheadZombie]

13 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

My opinion so far of April is that she's a bitch. Her body language totally changes when someone says something she doesn't like. She also seems really possessive of the husband (how that dweeb got 3 women to marry him, I'll never know).

My guess is in that household, if April ain't happy, ain't NOBODY gonna be happy. Beeeyotch.

I agree that April looks like the big bad, but I still think Auralee is the true manipulator here.  She clearly hates April, and as she called them, "April's kids".  She resents the hell out of the fact that April's children are the "legal" children, and April is his "legal" wife.  She was raised in this lifestyle, yet she seems completely unaware how this usually works.  These shows like to present the lifestyle as egalitarian, but in truth the first wife has always held more power.  That's how it goes.  And that's why first wife is the most desired position.  I really wonder if Auralee's mother was the second/third/fourth wife, and she carries over that resentment into this marriage.  On the other hand, it's possible that Auralee's mother was the first wife, and Auralee refuses to acknowledge the reality of a second wife.

8 hours ago, Granny58 said:

this is what confuses me.  As long as you don't try to legally marry multiple women, then what law is broken?  If they want to spiritually marry, then let the delusional fools go full tilt.  And maybe our view of it is "prejudice" because society has moved on from this desert-linked mentality (3000 years ago when being a single women was more of a death sentence).  

But in this case, it wasn't 3000 years ago, it was when Joseph Smith concocted the excuse for polygamy.  In America at least.

[Granny58]

6 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

But in this case, it wasn't 3000 years ago, it was when Joseph Smith concocted the excuse for polygamy.  In America at least.

yes, I understand...but even by then western society had rejected it.  

[Sasha888]

2 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

I agree that April looks like the big bad, but I still think Auralee is the true manipulator here.  She clearly hates April, and as she called them, "April's kids".  She resents the hell out of the fact that April's children are the "legal" children, and April is his "legal" wife. 

I would agree with that. Auralee bristles at just about anything April says. The preview they showed seem to be heading towards "let's see how these two work it out" - but I don't think they will work anything out. April is openly heavy-handed bitchy, while Auralee is a bit more passive-agressive bitchy. 

[RedheadZombie]

Just now, Granny58 said:

yes, I understand...but even by then western society had rejected it.  

I think the LDS are more adamantly against polygamists than other Americans, but that's never made sense to me.  Their original teachings tell them it's necessary.  They don't disavow Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, which makes it difficult to really go after modern polygamists.  They explain away Smith and Young by making them saints that took in homeless women and children, but as I often say, you can help them without having sex with them.  Lame excuse.  If LDS gave up polygamy for reasons other than gaining statehood, it would seem more legitimate.  So I think all their laws and rules against polygamy is posturing.

4 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

I would agree with that. Auralee bristles at just about anything April says. The preview they showed seem to be heading towards "let's see how these two work it out" - but I don't think they will work anything out. April is openly heavy-handed bitchy, while Auralee is a bit more passive-agressive bitchy. 

And how Angela didn't realize that she was wanted to be the tie breaker, is beyond me.  She will never know how the first two really feel about her, because they're both fighting to get her on their side against the other.

[Sasha888]

53 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

And how Angela didn't realize that she was wanted to be the tie breaker, is beyond me.  She will never know how the first two really feel about her, because they're both fighting to get her on their side against the other.

Yep. Angela mentioned in the first episode that April and Auralee have this 12 year history that she knows very little about...um, yes Angela, they can't stand each other. Duh, that's pretty easy to see.

"Tie breaker" is a good name for her role...whichever wife she doesn't side with will be pissed at her - for a few days, until a new problem crops up and they need her to side with them.

[Granny58]

1 hour ago, RedheadZombie said:

I think the LDS are more adamantly against polygamists than other Americans, but that's never made sense to me.  Their original teachings tell them it's necessary.  They don't disavow Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, which makes it difficult to really go after modern polygamists.  They explain away Smith and Young by making them saints that took in homeless women and children, but as I often say, you can help them without having sex with them.  Lame excuse.  If LDS gave up polygamy for reasons other than gaining statehood, it would seem more legitimate.  So I think all their laws and rules against polygamy is posturing.

agree with you 1000%.  And this bugs me because, if this is BS, why believe the rest of it?   I am friends with a Mormon couple and I LOVE them.  They are such lovely people, and I respect their religious freedom, but I just can't get this out of my head.  

[gonecrackers]

These people are all so disingenuous. They like to play the victims, as if the whole world is out to get them. They insult the audience by pretending to plan lies for the neighbors, as if not one would own a TV or couldn't possibly find out what they're doing. The act like it's okay, even necessary, to frighten their children, & tell them how they should lie. I hope that scene was staged because if it wasn't it's quite abusive.

What seems real so far is how much April cringes every time Auralee opens her mouth. Angela teaming up with her is only going to have her end up in a world of hurts. But tough, this is what she wanted so she can suck it up now.

I can't see the other couple getting an infertile sister wife working out. She'll end up playing nanny & just resent the other two women, who in turn will inevitably resent her freedom because she does not have the actual responsibility over the children as they are not her own. That husband is the most slimy out of all to me, for some reason.

But they're all creepers IMO.

I don't like the Snowdens, at all. They, especially the wife, act like the enlightened ones & I can hardly understand how much she thinks this will grow her, or anyone, as people. They act like their shit don't stink with the big house, nanny, housekeeper & 'we're better than all of you chosen alternative lifestyle' that no one else could possibly be as evolved to understand as they do, whatever the hell they're actually doing with it. But in reality, they are also just stupid & deluded.

[b2H]

They knew the job was dangerous when they took it.  Polygamy has been an illegal practice since Utah got statehood.  It is not new.  It didn’t change because you nitwits decided to do this.   And you aren’t going to change the hearts and minds of your legislators all that easily.

Get over yourselves.

[SkippyBeef]

Dimitri and Ashley make me sad!! They seem like such a great family and I really think this lifestyle will ruin them. :(   When they were looking at the pictures of the woman they are interested in, I thought Ashley looked sad and jealous....she's just doing this to keep her husband from cheating on her.  I can't respect someone who would put their wife through this while she's pregnant! Ugh. 

[woot]

Just rewatched this episode. When Dimitri and Ashley were video chatting with the potential SW it felt more like a job interview.  When Dimitri asked her why she chose their profile she said “I found you to both be really attractive” they are totally looking for a polyamorous relationship here and don’t want to call it that. 

[MrSmith]

22 hours ago, SkippyBeef said:

Dimitri and Ashley make me sad!! They seem like such a great family and I really think this lifestyle will ruin them. :(   When they were looking at the pictures of the woman they are interested in, I thought Ashley looked sad and jealous....she's just doing this to keep her husband from cheating on her.  I can't respect someone who would put their wife through this while she's pregnant! Ugh. 

I agree with most of what you said. I fixed the part that needed fixing (for me).

[dreadfulLeigh]

22 hours ago, SkippyBeef said:

Dimitri and Ashley make me sad!! They seem like such a great family and I really think this lifestyle will ruin them. :(   When they were looking at the pictures of the woman they are interested in, I thought Ashley looked sad and jealous....she's just doing this to keep her husband from cheating on her.  I can't respect someone who would put their wife through this while she's pregnant! Ugh. 

It’s always when a wife is pregnant. Kodouche when Christine was pregnant, this Allredge dude with the pretty redhead wife, the Snowden’s...guess they don’t have to be involved in the care of their newborns. They can just go to the shiny new wife. I wouldn’t get a new puppy when I’m about to have a baby, let alone another human adult. 

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, dreadfulLeigh said:

It’s always when a wife is pregnant. Kodouche when Christine was pregnant, this Allredge dude with the pretty redhead wife, the Snowden’s...guess they don’t have to be involved in the care of their newborns. They can just go to the shiny new wife. I wouldn’t get a new puppy when I’m about to have a baby, let alone another human adult. 

It's also an interesting time to do this as the woman can be more emotional & sensitive; mind is turning toward nesting & caring for her child. It all just proves what selfish pricks these 'husbands' are & how much their own needs are all that matters to them.

Edited January 29, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Madding crowd]

I don't know why any woman would put themselves thru this. I thought Aurolee and Angela were being really mean to April . I didn't get the idea she wanted new mattresses for her sons, she said they had some extra matresses that weren't being used. And why did  Auraless's boys not have mattresses to begin with? 

Didn''t understand the woman who goes on TV and says she wants to be a sister wife and then doesn't show up.

I can't figure out the Snowden's at all-the wife seems really subdued and cold. Does she not want this?  At least Dimitri is attractive unlike the other two. 

[Gothish520]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

It's also an interesting time to do this as the woman can be more emotional & sensitive; mind is turning toward nesting & caring for her child. It all just proves what selfish pricks these 'husbands' are & how much their own needs are all that matters to them.

Yeah but I'm not putting this all on the husbands. There's no reason for a grown woman to go through with this if she doesn't want to. Ashley in particular seems like a strong woman who knows what she wants, and she did flat out say "I want this." Maybe she's lying to herself, but at this point, there is no reason for Dimitri to think that she is not on board.

[gonecrackers]

The women have probably either been raised to believe this is THE way (the religious ones=brainwashed), or they have other issues contributing to their self abuse, & that's what I feel this is for them.

[MrSmith]

18 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Yeah but I'm not putting this all on the husbands. There's no reason for a grown woman to go through with this if she doesn't want to. Ashley in particular seems like a strong woman who knows what she wants, and she did flat out say "I want this." Maybe she's lying to herself, but at this point, there is no reason for Dimitri to think that she is not on board.

I don't think she's lying to herself or to us. I just think she currently has only a theoretical understanding of polygamy. I also think that once she gains a practical understanding and can accurately assess the difference between "theory" and "practice", then she'll have some buyer's remorse and end up just like April, Meri, and (eventually) the Alldredges' first wife (I forget what her name is).

19 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

I don't know why any woman would put themselves thru this. I thought Aurolee and Angela were being really mean to April . I didn't get the idea she wanted new mattresses for her sons, she said they had some extra matresses that weren't being used. And why did  Auraless's boys not have mattresses to begin with? 

Didn''t understand the woman who goes on TV and says she wants to be a sister wife and then doesn't show up.

I can't figure out the Snowden's at all-the wife seems really subdued and cold. Does she not want this?  At least Dimitri is attractive unlike the other two. 

I wish TLC would have shown us more about that whole disagreement. From what we saw, April wasn't asking for anything for herself or her children. The question we had, though, is why is Drew unaware of these spare mattresses? Hell, shouldn't all of the adults in the family have been aware of the existence of these mattresses? Anyway, these three women are never going to make any progress in their relationships with each other as long as Auwalee (especially) and Angela (to a lesser extent) refuse to give April the benefit of the doubt or a clean slate and let her try to demonstrate that she isn't being manipulative.

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, MrSmith said:

The question we had, though, is why is Drew unaware of these spare mattresses? Hell, shouldn't all of the adults in the family have been aware of the existence of these mattresses?

You make a VERY good point!!  I am suddenly wondering if the issue was simply that Aurolee wants NEW stuff for her kids and refuses to use "Hand-me-downs" from within the family.  However to be fair - we don't know the condition of the mattresses.  If one or more of the kids are bedwetters or prolific barfers when they are sick, I would NOT want my kids sleeping on other people's mattresses soaked with those bodily fluids.  Just - ick.

[MrSmith]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

You make a VERY good point!!  I am suddenly wondering if the issue was simply that Aurolee wants NEW stuff for her kids and refuses to use "Hand-me-downs" from within the family.  However to be fair - we don't know the condition of the mattresses.  If one or more of the kids are bedwetters or prolific barfers when they are sick, I would NOT want my kids sleeping on other people's mattresses soaked with those bodily fluids.  Just - ick.

Absolutely. If the mattresses are old/worn and don't offer proper support or if they're contaminated with bodily fluids, they should not be used. No one should be forced to sleep on such a mattress. And if their spare mattresses are in that condition, then the only reasonable response to "These children need new mattresses" is "We got these children new mattresses." So there is definitely something hinky about this whole dramatic situation. Either the mattresses are not viable, Auralee doesn't want to use them because they aren't "new", perhaps the family can't afford new mattresses right now, or there is something else we have not been shown.

[Gothish520]

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

You make a VERY good point!!  I am suddenly wondering if the issue was simply that Aurolee wants NEW stuff for her kids and refuses to use "Hand-me-downs" from within the family.  However to be fair - we don't know the condition of the mattresses.  If one or more of the kids are bedwetters or prolific barfers when they are sick, I would NOT want my kids sleeping on other people's mattresses soaked with those bodily fluids.  Just - ick.

From what I remember, when the issue was first brought up, it sounded like Drew agreed to buy Auralee's kids new matresses. When April heard this, she told Drew that she would give Auralee's kids her old mattresses and she wanted her (April's) kids to get new ones. 

There is so much going on here that we haven't been privvy to (yet), and so much stuff that has happened over the years that we don't know about. The problems between these women run DEEP. I'm more inclined to believe that Auralee has good reason to distrust April at this point.

[Kyanight]

54 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

From what I remember, when the issue was first brought up, it sounded like Drew agreed to buy Auralee's kids new matresses. When April heard this, she told Drew that she would give Auralee's kids her old mattresses and she wanted her (April's) kids to get new ones. 

There is so much going on here that we haven't been privvy to (yet), and so much stuff that has happened over the years that we don't know about. The problems between these women run DEEP. I'm more inclined to believe that Auralee has good reason to distrust April at this point.

I'm with you.  

[MrSmith]

2 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

From what I remember, when the issue was first brought up, it sounded like Drew agreed to buy Auralee's kids new matresses. When April heard this, she told Drew that she would give Auralee's kids her old mattresses and she wanted her (April's) kids to get new ones. 

I don't recall them showing this on TV. The first time I remember anything about this being shown on TV was after Auralee came whinging to Drew about how April wants her kids to get the new mattresses. So all we have is Auralee's complaints to Drew as "proof" that April tried to get the new mattresses for her kids. Even if April did try this, the only thing that Drew had to do is say "Auralee's children need new mattresses and they're going to get them. Do your children need new mattresses?" But nooooo, Drew can't man up and take control of the situation. Instead, he's got to be a pansy and leave it to his wives to sort out between themselves. Honestly, is it that hard for him to understand that even a family needs a leader? Sure, he should get input from his wife/wives, but in the end someone has to make the final decision when consensus cannot be reached.

EDITED TO ADD: I don't want anyone thinking that I'm saying the husband is always, should always be, or naturally would be/should be/is the leader of the family. In this particular instance, that's the role he's cast himself into by having multiple wives: Someone has to referee. In "normal" relationships (where there are just two people, whether two men, two women, or a man & a woman), that's something for those people to negotiate between themselves.

2 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

There is so much going on here that we haven't been privvy to (yet), and so much stuff that has happened over the years that we don't know about. The problems between these women run DEEP. 

This is absolutely true. There are things going on in the show that we haven't been shown and, of course, things that have happened over the last 12 years that we cannot be shown.

2 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

I'm more inclined to believe that Auralee has good reason to distrust April at this point.

I'd say they have good reason to distrust each other. I have no doubt that April has tried to get one over on Auralee in the past. April is the first wife and clearly didn't want to be one of many. So her responses to the situation are pretty normal, in my opinion, except that she should have stood up for herself and told her husband there's no way she's going for that arrangement. That all said, there are going to have been times when Auralee went crying to Drew about things that didn't rise to that level or that she misconstrued. So I'm not surprised they're incapable of dealing with each other as adults anymore. That's what happens in unresolved and unrelenting power struggles: the participants devolve into children and exhibit childish behaviours and responses.

Edited January 30, 2018 by MrSmith

[Meghzie]

Did anyone catch that the little boy, I think one of Aurolee’s also has a speech impediment? I hope they are getting him speech therapy. :(

[MegD]

On 1/22/2018 at 12:50 PM, Galloway Cave said:

On 1/22/2018 at 1:47 AM, Sasha888 said:

because my understanding (through a friend) was basically that if you have healthy, happy kids and don't do any of those other things, nobody really cares if you have more than one wife.

Everyone has pretty much hit on this so far. In Utah there is a law on the books that says that people can't cohabitate (also affects the LGBT communities). The law was used back in the first half of the century to arrest/harass (but rarely prosecute) polygamists. One of the famous cases was the raid on Short Crick (Colorado City/Hildale) in 1953, but the families were just split up, not prosecuted. Back in 2000, the Utah/Arizona Attorney General offices developed The Primer, which is a document that their investigators follow for investigating and prosecuting cases involving polygamists. They only prosecute polygamists for domestic violence, child abuse and welfare abuses. The Brown lawsuit against the state of Utah, to remove the cohabitation law off the books, was brought by a lawyer who does a lot of work in the LGBT community. He hitched his name to the Browns but wants this to be for all folks affected by the law.

Just as an FYI, the Court of Appeals overturned the decision granting portions of the Brown's federal lawsuit by the District Court. The Court of Appeals ruled that the Browns had no standing to bring suit as there was no legitimate fear of arrest and ordered the lawsuit overturned and dismissed. The US Supreme Court declined to take the case. Technically polygamy remains illegal, but there is a stated policy that prosecution will only occur if other domestic crimes are being committed, including welfare fraud, child marriage, child abuse, and domestic violence. The only reason they should be worried about the police is if they are committing welfare fraud.

[supahfly]

I  can’t deal with King Briney scolding his harem over the mattresses.  In fact, I can’t stand them.  They could all kiss my ass.  If my kid needs a mattress I’m getting my kid a mattress.  I can’t even wrap my head around these plural families that can’t afford their situations but keep having babies and squabbling over basic possessions.  Hand me down mattresses from kids who have probably soiled them at some point? No.    At least the Duggars can afford their kids (I know they’re not plural).  I can’t believe the head trip they play on those kids.   I can’t buy into Saint April feeling misunderstood.  There’s nothing to understand.  They all are married to a jackass and have adopted personas to get the most resources out of him from the limited supply he provides.

Ashley and dude aka Dimitri...BWAHAHA!  No.  Just nooooooo.   Ashley wants a maid and possibly a girlfriend.  Dimitri wants ?. Why don’t they just have an open marriage and get a housekeeper?

The Alldredges...he’s got a “type”...lol! Those chicks all look alike.  

Just once I’d like to see a woman with multiple husbands.   Now THAT would be awesome! Wait, maybe I will start that.   Yeah...one that can fix stuff, one that’s a hottie and romantic and likes to dance, one that likes to workout with me...and I need one that’s rich...

Edited February 5, 2018 by supahfly

[xwordfanatik]

King Briney, perfect!  He's a pompous asshole that pretends to give two shits when the "wives" have a "pwoblem."  I could puke watching him on that couch man-spreading his oversized ass.  Another polygamist that thinks God told him to share his magic penis with many women who have no self-worth.  Blechhh!