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All Episodes Talk: Small World, Big Lives


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Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

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Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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(edited)

I'm watching the first season over again, and the dynamics are fascinating. Matt hero-worshipped Jeremy from the start, and he and Jeremy certainly seemed close, but Jeremy also seemed much more sensitive to Zach and to his mom and to his family in general. IMO, Audrey has not been a positive influence. I'd forgotten that I rather liked Jeremy back in the day. 

It's a little heartbreaking, "knowing" Zach as we "know" him now, to see him as a young teenager, wearing his vulnerability on his sleeve. Tori has clearly been wonderful for his self-esteem.

And Amy was no picnic, certainly, but Matt was checked out of that marriage from the time filming began. That season, he was on his computer constantly, and Amy basically had to beg him to have anything to do with any family member except Jeremy. 

I think we all practice revisionist history, to a degree, and going back and watching this family's TV beginnings lends credence to the theory that Matt and Amy's divorce was many, many years in the making, and that Matt bears most of the blame. Again, Amy was often unpleasant -- but I've never seen more of a narcissist than Matt Roloff, and he's a huge instigator as well. I wouldn't have lasted nearly as long as Amy did.

Edited by Literata
  • Love 7
5 hours ago, Literata said:

I'm watching the first season over again, and the dynamics are fascinating. Matt hero-worshipped Jeremy from the start, and he and Jeremy certainly seemed close, but Jeremy also seemed much more sensitive to Zach and to his mom and to his family in general. IMO, Audrey has not been a positive influence. I'd forgotten that I rather liked Jeremy back in the day. 

It's a little heartbreaking, "knowing" Zach as we "know" him now, to see him as a young teenager, wearing his vulnerability on his sleeve. Tori has clearly been wonderful for his self-esteem.

And Amy was no picnic, certainly, but Matt was checked out of that marriage from the time filming began. That season, he was on his computer constantly, and Amy basically had to beg him to have anything to do with any family member except Jeremy. 

I think we all practice revisionist history, to a degree, and going back and watching this family's TV beginnings lends credence to the theory that Matt and Amy's divorce was many, many years in the making, and that Matt bears most of the blame. Again, Amy was often unpleasant -- but I've never seen more of a narcissist than Matt Roloff, and he's a huge instigator as well. I wouldn't have lasted nearly as long as Amy did.

Ooh, where are you watching these at?? I'd like to re-watch old seasons.

On 2017-5-27 at 2:51 PM, Literata said:

And Amy was no picnic, certainly, but Matt was checked out of that marriage from the time filming began. That season, he was on his computer constantly, and Amy basically had to beg him to have anything to do with any family member except Jeremy. 

He checked out long ago. He is such a bully.

  • Love 3

Caryn is cold. I just watched the most recent episode where Matt is crying over the loss of Sully and Caryn cuts him off, gives him a few platitudes about better places and new babies and then quickly transitions into talking about random, unrelated business talk while he's still wiping away tears. 

Matt barely knows how to separate business from personal but I think this was one of the few times he actually wanted grieve and put business aside not talk about photoshoot. Afterwars she just gets up and breezes out of the door like they just had the
"best business meeting ever!"

  • Love 10
17 minutes ago, Lilacly said:

Caryn is cold. I just watched the most recent episode where Matt is crying over the loss of Sully and Caryn cuts him off, gives him a few platitudes about better places and new babies and then quickly transitions into talking about random, unrelated business talk while he's still wiping away tears. 

Matt barely knows how to separate business from personal but I think this was one of the few times he actually wanted grieve and put business aside not talk about photoshoot. Afterwars she just gets up and breezes out of the door like they just had the
"best business meeting ever!"

That was an odd exchange.

  • Love 4
(edited)
18 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

That was an odd exchange.

I'd give her some slack if it turned out that the producers were pushing her to bring up the shoot but otherwise it's like finding someone who's an even worse version of yourself. I doubt Matt would bring up work at any of his grandchildren's births or the gender reveal parties (he'd be too busy stroking his ego) but Caryn definitely seems like she would

Edited by Lilacly
(edited)
Quote

He checked out long ago. He is such a bully.

And I am going to give an example from the most recent episode.

So Matt and Amy are discussing the family dinner plans, where the marrieds are already invited. In the confessional Matt clearly states he and Amy thought it would be nice to have a family dinner and see how the kids were doing - to "celebrate the kids having their babies".  At the talk with Amy, Matt mentions that he intends to get out the power point presentations and discuss a lot of business.* Amy expresses surprise and asks if he thinks its a business meeting and he says that's how he's seeing it, but in a casual environment. In a voice over, he makes the sympathy ploy that no matter "how they want to keep the grandbabies away" he wants the farm to be an enticement to them, and that he wants to have more business meetings with the kids.

To Amy he says "What was your vision of it?"

Amy says "Just to say great to see you?"

Matt makes a face and frowns and looks annoyed as Amy says they haven't had a family get together in a while.

In a confessional Amy expresses frustration and asks if they can ever separate family and business and have them be separate.

In the scene - Matt's response to Amy saying they haven't had a family get together in a while with "If you want we can go in there with powerpoints..."

Amy cuts him off with "Matt, you're not listening." He frowns at her and shakes his head. He presses on with:

"What subjects would you want to touch on?" - and he's clearly getting annoyed at this point.

Amy rattles off a number of questions that are clearly family orientated about the kids lives and the babies.

Matt shakes his head and says "You know, the kids kinda dread those....its kind of a talk... a dreading thing, so I was trying to avoid that." He frowns. Amy shakes her head.

In a  confessional, Amy notes that trying to have a personal conversation with Matt is hard.

In the scene, Matt continues to look annoyed and say "Well, you think about it, I'll think about it, and come up with a plan..."

Amy says "Yeah".

So he presented this to her as a family dinner where they would be celebrating the upcoming babies. He then completely changes the plan to where he wants a business discussion. When she protests, he completely ignores her comments and presses on with the power point discussion. When she points out he's not listening to her, he asks her what her thoughts were and frowns in disagreement at everything she says and then tells her that the kids hate what she wants to do.

If Amy was smart? She should just stop including Matt in family events - and in real life, she pretty much has. If Matt is right, then the kids should flock to him for his little lectures on how they're his cogs for his projects.

*I genuinely don't think it's a bad idea for everyone in the family businesses to get together and discuss who does what. I just call that a business meeting and not a family dinner to celebrate babies.

Edited by ZoloftBlob
  • Love 7
1 minute ago, ZoloftBlob said:

And I am going to give an example from the most recent episode.

So Matt and Amy are discussing the family dinner plans, where the marrieds are already invited. In the confessional Matt clearly states he and Amy thought it would be nice to have a family dinner and see how the kids were doing - to "celebrate the kids having their babies".  At the talk with Amy, Matt mentions that he intends to get out the power point presentations and discuss a lot of business.* Amy expresses surprise and asks if he thinks its a business meeting and he says that's how he's seeing it, but in a casual environment. In a voice over, he makes the sympathy ploy that no matter "how they want to keep the grandbabies away" he wants the farm to be an enticement to them, and that he wants to have more business meetings with the kids.

To Amy he says "What was your vision of it?"

Amy says "Just to say great to see you?"

Matt makes a face and frowns and looks annoyed as Amy says they haven't had a family get together in a while.

In a confessional Amy expresses frustration and asks if they can ever separate family and business and have them be separate.

In the scene - Matt's response to Amy saying they haven't had a family get together in a while with "If you want we can go in there with powerpoints..."

Amy cuts him off with "Matt, you're not listening." He frowns at her and shakes his head. He presses on with:

"What subjects would you want to touch on?" - and he's clearly getting annoyed at this point.

Amy rattles off a number of questions that are clearly family orientated about the kids lives and the babies.

Matt shakes his head and says "You know, the kids kinda dread those....its kind of a talk... a dreading thing, so I was trying to avoid that." He frowns. Amy shakes her head.

In a  confessional, Amy notes that trying to have a personal conversation with Matt is hard.

In the scene, Matt continues to look annoyed and say "Well, you think about it, I'll think about it, and come up with a plan..."

Amy says "Yeah".

So he presented this to her as a family dinner where they would be celebrating the upcoming babies. He then completely changes the plan to where he wants a business discussion. When she protests, he completely ignores her comments and presses on with the power point discussion. When she points out he's not listening to her, he asks her what her thoughts were and frowns in disagreement at everything she says and then tells her that the kids hate what she wants to do.

If Amy was smart? She should just stop including Matt in family events - and in real life, she pretty much has. If Matt is right, then the kids should flock to him for his little lectures on how they're his cogs for his projects.

 

I remember that scene and I took Matt's perspective to be that he wanted a family dinner where they would celebrate the pregnancies as well as getting an update on work related topics where he could gauge their interests on work projects and goals for the family business. I don't believe he would have ever wanted to just talk about life, family etc. He's a goal orientated person who wants to keep the entire family as close and under his control as possible. Likely he omitted the work part  when he presented her the idea of it and just mentioned the celebration family time aspect.

  • Love 1

Call me crazy, but anytime you're pulling out power point presentations, you're not have a family get together.  And don't get me wrong - I have NO objection to work meetings in a family business, its a requirement. It's just called "a work meeting" and not "a family dinner". What's worse is his eye rolly performance of irritation and disgust with Amy who stupidly interpreted "a family dinner" as a casual get together, and not everyone with notebooks taking notes as Matt hectors them and points to his power point presentation.

Quote

I don't believe he would have ever wanted to just talk about life, family etc.

Agreed, but in order to  not be considered a bullying asshole, he might need to consider not insisting on his way all the time.

Quote

He's a goal orientated person who wants to keep the entire family as close and under his control as possible.

Emphasis on "control" - I mean seriously, he's actually on tv discussing how he plans to essentially bribe his children into living at home. Molly and Jacob are the smart ones in this.

  • Love 8
19 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

And I am going to give an example from the most recent episode.

So Matt and Amy are discussing the family dinner plans, where the marrieds are already invited. In the confessional Matt clearly states he and Amy thought it would be nice to have a family dinner and see how the kids were doing - to "celebrate the kids having their babies".  At the talk with Amy, Matt mentions that he intends to get out the power point presentations and discuss a lot of business.* Amy expresses surprise and asks if he thinks its a business meeting and he says that's how he's seeing it, but in a casual environment. In a voice over, he makes the sympathy ploy that no matter "how they want to keep the grandbabies away" he wants the farm to be an enticement to them, and that he wants to have more business meetings with the kids.

To Amy he says "What was your vision of it?"

Amy says "Just to say great to see you?"

Matt makes a face and frowns and looks annoyed as Amy says they haven't had a family get together in a while.

In a confessional Amy expresses frustration and asks if they can ever separate family and business and have them be separate.

In the scene - Matt's response to Amy saying they haven't had a family get together in a while with "If you want we can go in there with powerpoints..."

Amy cuts him off with "Matt, you're not listening." He frowns at her and shakes his head. He presses on with:

"What subjects would you want to touch on?" - and he's clearly getting annoyed at this point.

Amy rattles off a number of questions that are clearly family orientated about the kids lives and the babies.

Matt shakes his head and says "You know, the kids kinda dread those....its kind of a talk... a dreading thing, so I was trying to avoid that." He frowns. Amy shakes her head.

In a  confessional, Amy notes that trying to have a personal conversation with Matt is hard.

In the scene, Matt continues to look annoyed and say "Well, you think about it, I'll think about it, and come up with a plan..."

Amy says "Yeah".

So he presented this to her as a family dinner where they would be celebrating the upcoming babies. He then completely changes the plan to where he wants a business discussion. When she protests, he completely ignores her comments and presses on with the power point discussion. When she points out he's not listening to her, he asks her what her thoughts were and frowns in disagreement at everything she says and then tells her that the kids hate what she wants to do.

If Amy was smart? She should just stop including Matt in family events - and in real life, she pretty much has. If Matt is right, then the kids should flock to him for his little lectures on how they're his cogs for his projects.

I just watched this episode again today, and it was such an odd conversation between Matt and Amy.  When he asks what points she wants to touch on, you're right, she says things like "How are the pregnancies going? How are you?  How's the house-hunting going?  Matt says the kids kids dread that.  Huh?  Why the hell would they dread that?  He's tying to make her feel like he knows the kids better than she does, he is simply trying to make her feel bad.  Just like he always does.  He's an odd, hateful little man.

  • Love 9
29 minutes ago, Honey said:

I just watched this episode again today, and it was such an odd conversation between Matt and Amy.  When he asks what points she wants to touch on, you're right, she says things like "How are the pregnancies going? How are you?  How's the house-hunting going?  Matt says the kids kids dread that.  Huh?  Why the hell would they dread that?  He's tying to make her feel like he knows the kids better than she does, he is simply trying to make her feel bad.  Just like he always does.  He's an odd, hateful little man.

That whole scene was confusing. 

Its supposed to be a *family dinner* but all topics related do how their lives are going are taboo and will annoy the kids? So what's she allowed to talk about...hangnails? Everything else is apparently off limits. 

Whatever happened to natural conversation? When hubby and I would get together with his parents and sister/brother in law, no one had crib notes. We conversed normally and wherever the topic gravitated towards, was where it went. As far as I know, my in laws didn't have a meeting previous to the family dinner and decide what we would all talk about. 

I'm like Matt, in that I'm thinking about work most of the time. Hubby tells me I need to learn how to relax, which will likely never happen. But even I wouldn't get my adult kids over and ambush them with a power point presentation. So I'm totally on Amy's side with this one. 

  • Love 7
2 hours ago, Lilacly said:

I remember that scene and I took Matt's perspective to be that he wanted a family dinner where they would celebrate the pregnancies as well as getting an update on work related topics where he could gauge their interests on work projects and goals for the family business. I don't believe he would have ever wanted to just talk about life, family etc. He's a goal orientated person who wants to keep the entire family as close and under his control as possible. Likely he omitted the work part  when he presented her the idea of it and just mentioned the celebration family time aspect.

You say "tomato." I say "narcissistic asshole." 

  • Love 20

Yes with a but....

But haven't Jer and Auj been publically stating they don't want to live directly on the farm because its too "messy" and "broken"?

But haven't Zach and Tory made it clear that they have absolutely no interest in living on the farm?

But yeah, that wording was odd and so is Matt's idea of making the farm so delightful they just can't refuse its enticements...

  • Love 2
(edited)
14 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

And I am going to give an example from the most recent episode.

So Matt and Amy are discussing the family dinner plans, where the marrieds are already invited. In the confessional Matt clearly states he and Amy thought it would be nice to have a family dinner and see how the kids were doing - to "celebrate the kids having their babies".  At the talk with Amy, Matt mentions that he intends to get out the power point presentations and discuss a lot of business.* Amy expresses surprise and asks if he thinks its a business meeting and he says that's how he's seeing it, but in a casual environment. In a voice over, he makes the sympathy ploy that no matter "how they want to keep the grandbabies away" he wants the farm to be an enticement to them, and that he wants to have more business meetings with the kids.

To Amy he says "What was your vision of it?"

Amy says "Just to say great to see you?"

Matt makes a face and frowns and looks annoyed as Amy says they haven't had a family get together in a while.

In a confessional Amy expresses frustration and asks if they can ever separate family and business and have them be separate.

In the scene - Matt's response to Amy saying they haven't had a family get together in a while with "If you want we can go in there with powerpoints..."

Amy cuts him off with "Matt, you're not listening." He frowns at her and shakes his head. He presses on with:

"What subjects would you want to touch on?" - and he's clearly getting annoyed at this point.

Amy rattles off a number of questions that are clearly family orientated about the kids lives and the babies.

Matt shakes his head and says "You know, the kids kinda dread those....its kind of a talk... a dreading thing, so I was trying to avoid that." He frowns. Amy shakes her head.

In a  confessional, Amy notes that trying to have a personal conversation with Matt is hard.

In the scene, Matt continues to look annoyed and say "Well, you think about it, I'll think about it, and come up with a plan..."

Amy says "Yeah".

So he presented this to her as a family dinner where they would be celebrating the upcoming babies. He then completely changes the plan to where he wants a business discussion. When she protests, he completely ignores her comments and presses on with the power point discussion. When she points out he's not listening to her, he asks her what her thoughts were and frowns in disagreement at everything she says and then tells her that the kids hate what she wants to do.

If Amy was smart? She should just stop including Matt in family events - and in real life, she pretty much has. If Matt is right, then the kids should flock to him for his little lectures on how they're his cogs for his projects.

*I genuinely don't think it's a bad idea for everyone in the family businesses to get together and discuss who does what. I just call that a business meeting and not a family dinner to celebrate babies.

But, then when they had the family gathering, it wasn't about business and no power point presentation, right?  I don't see why it has to be Amy's way every time.  Apparently, they did it her way this time.  Matt is overzealous about his family getting into farm operation from what I see on the show.   He really wants them into it.  Maybe, it's annoying, but, I think it comes with good intentions. Man, I wish I had a successful business just waiting for me to jump in and learn the ropes.  

Edited by SunnyBeBe

After he ignored her concerns on camera and made her fight over it, yes. And after he made sure to let her know that the kids *dreaded* being asked questions about their lives.

Funny how the kids were smiling and pleasant and not miserable and sad, *dreading* every question at the actual family dinner.

*Part of my issue with this is calling it a family dinner and then expecting everyone to understand that its going to be a professional business meeting. Words have meanings and "family dinner" does not mean "business meeting" and Matt's expectation on this was ridiculous.

Sunny - do you think the kids were *dreading* the casual family dinner questions? As Matt said they were?

  • Love 5

I think that the adult kids have a certain amount of trepidation at family gatherings most of the time.  And that's understandable, imo.  Nasty words, verbal assaults, tempers have flown for many years at family gatherings.  NOW, that Amy and Matt are divorced, it seems that those type of demonstrations are not so frequent. (Thank goodness.)  But, I suppose it's still in the back of their minds. Is there an elephant in the room? I think there may be a couple.  I'm not sure of the details, but, maybe, it'll be revealed.  I think there is some animosity regarding the parents and their new romantic interests, though, I'm not sure how many of the kids share this concern.  Maybe, it's concern for heartache or maybe, it's about money.....time will tell. 

(edited)

Do you think it's solely AMY that they dread? With Matt expressing concern that they will try to keep the grandchildren away?

That family dinners with Matt getting out the power point and Jer and Auj, and Zach and Tory delightedly sitting around Matt's table are happening? I mean, they aren't afraid of Matt, right? They want to be under his thumb, doing his projects, being his little helpers. We know NOW that Matt's bachelor pad has an extra bedroom - why aren't Jer and Auj delighted to stay at Matt's place, ever? I mean, they DON'T approve of Amy's "fornicating" and they don't seem to want to pay for a motel so if Daddy Matt is such a peach, why can't they spend their lengthy weekend trips at Matt's?

Based on the divorce issues Caryn has - check out radaronline - I suspect her ex husband thinks Caryn and Matt were an item back in 2013...  when he took Caryn to court to make sure the kids from Caryn's marriage were restricted from ever setting foot on Roloff Farms and Caryn was not to discuss her workplace in front of them.

And based on the last couple episodes, I don't think Audrey likes either of her in laws at all.

Quote

Man, I wish I had a successful business just waiting for me to jump in and learn the ropes.  

And yet Jeremy, who has verbally stated how much he wants to run the farm, has not done exactly that. Ironic, considering how obviously delighted Matt would be to be saying "My son Jeremy is now jumping in and is committed to learning the ropes from me! Every day, Jeremy will be here, on the farm, doing what I tell him, from sun up to sun down, following my orders and learning!"

Jeremy in most recent episodes has looked like a wild animal with it's foot in a trap every time he discusses how *he* is making the decision to move to Portland. But then... to a point, I think Jeremy married his daddy. :)

Edited by ZoloftBlob
  • Love 8

Yeah, I think there are some concerns, issues, whatever, regarding Caryn  too.   I won't pretend to know what and when it happened years ago, but, I have suspected that Matt had someone special years ago.  However, I don't know that.  But, you gotta admit.  It looks fishy.  Sometimes, a workplace friendship is just that.  I've seen it. But, I've also seen them turn into romance.  Maybe, the kids are apprehensive that new spouses, whether it's Caryn, Chris or someone else will benefit financially and rob them from their inheritance. I think it's natural to feel that way.  I suspect that they may believe that Matt has a tougher business mind and won't be taken advantage of in this way, but, with Amy....she may think with her heart, more so than her head.   I also don't know how religious/moral concerns are involved.  Some people don't believe in sex outside of marriage.  That could play a part as well, concerning both Matt and Amy  I'm just speculating. 

  • Love 1

I'd include Zach in my chiding about the reluctance to work at Daddy's ready made businesses... but I really don't think DAS is a successful business. I think it's being resurrected solely to give Zach the appearance of working. Whereas the pumpkin farm, while probably not likely to support them as lavishly as they are clearly used to, is a legitmate business that made money before the show and could continue to make money.

I just think Jeremy is "wanting the farm" for purely selfish reasons and isn't interested in working there at all.

  • Love 3

I just saw this episode yesterday, and when Matt was making the family dinner into a business meeting I was wondering if her was setting it up to need Caryn at the dinner... he didn't but it crossed my mind. 

I thought it was funny that Matt said the kids dread talking, but then the next scene was the kids happily small talking away. 

I saw it as another instance of Matt being a jerk.   He always thinks his ideas are the best and most important and runs over anyone else's plans. I can't imagine the kids were falling all over themselves to talk about business... other than Jer wanting to take over them farm, nobody seems to have any true interest... and Jer just wants to be a figure head, he doesn't want to do any of the work that goes into the farm. 

I'm in the camp of working with family is generally not a good idea, the only way it works is if all the individual have an invested interest in the venture. In my opinion Matt would be a nightmare to work for, I can just imagine he would call at all hours, wanting to talk business. For the record I wouldn't want to work for Amy either, but in this instance it's Matt.

  • Love 5

I can see why Matt may sincerely believe the kids dread talking about the pregnancies and being parents ... it's because he turns every discussion about it into a droning, depressing lecture about the crushing financial burden and tedious responsibilities having a child entails.  They probably have expressed dismay when he brings the subject up. 

Of course being the narcissistic asshole that he is, he assumed that's also Amy's experience when she talks about the future with the kids so he felt entitled  to decide for the both of them what would and would not be permitted topics of discussion. I notice that his preferred subject matter would have conveniently landed him right on center stage.  Typical narcissist. I am glad to hear it didn't turn out the way he wanted ( I haven't seen the end of the episode yet, life interuppted). 

It's just sad that Matt doesn't understand that to the extent any of the kids don't want to be on the farm, it is because of him more than anything else. His whining and his controlling behavior and the way he constantly picks at Amy trying to instigate a fight is exhausting and no damn fun. But instead of understanding what the problem is and doing something about it, he hatches a plot to manipulate the kids into bringing the grandbabies around whether they want to or not by making the farm so appealing to their children, the little kids beg to go to grandpa's. That's just messed up. 

And it's actually funny because grandkids have a strange way of seeing right through their grandparent's bullshit  the same way their own parents do and its entirely possible the littles may one day think Matt is a complete pain in the ass.  I can see them totally preferring the company if their warm, indulgent grandma who is genuinely interested in them and how they feel and what they think. This as opposed to being with crabby, complaining grandpa who can't do anything but talk about himself and has to be the center of attention every waking moment or everyone suffers.  

I envision the littles spending 90% of their time during visits to the farm with Amy and then making the obligatory trek over to grandpa's out of sense of duty. And with Matt's fragile health, by the time these kids are going to be old enough to just go on over and hang out with grandpa on their own, he may be in pretty poor shape. And a sickly grandpa does not make for a lot of fun time romping around the farm for little kids, at least not without help from one of the marrieds. Which means Matt may be right back where he started ... trying to make people who don't want to linger at the farm hang around and put up with him.

Good luck with that, Matt!

  • Love 8

There has to be a couple full time employees. There's Caryn, and Ryan, and a couple guys who go unnamed. While I think a lot of the farm animals are rented for filming, someone has to tend the animals. Matt is, I strongly suspect, no longer allowed to do lengthy work on the tractors so someone has to be planting and tending the pumpkin fields.

Aside from the new pirate ship that they have already spoiled in ads, you know what I have noticed? No projects for Matt at all

  • Love 3

Jeremy and Audrey seem so bored and lifeless every time they appear on camera. They rarely smile or say something positive. They seem to have permanent frowns and when they look at each other, it seems they don't know how to interact. It's really odd. Then I see Tori and Zach, a couple that smiles a lot and seems to really enjoy being together. They have an energy that is very positive and light.

I understand why Zach wants to remain a soccer coach. He seems to have a real passion for it, but he can't possibly be paid enough to support a growing family.  I don't think Zach should work for Matt's company, but I do think he needs a full-time job. I know a few parents who coach sports on the weekends so maybe Zach can look into that.  I imagine that Zach's and Tori's salaries are just okay when combined, and then the show further helps them live comfortably. Based on their home and their overall vibe, I don't get the impression that they spend much. They seem more about experiencing life together and creating meaningful memories than big houses, big trips, and material items. 

I have to side-eye Matt for having a relationship with an employee. 1) Those kinds of relationships don't typically happen over night. I bet there were feelings there for some time. 2) It really irked me that Matt was complaining about the stuff Amy packed up for him in front of an employee. 3) He's old enough to know not to mix business with pleasure.

I think Amy would like to be married again. She doesn't seem like the type to engage in one night stands or flings. It's clear she wants a long-term commitment from Chris, but I think Chris is playing the relationship by ear. I don't think he's seeking a wife and I'm not sure he'd be sad if the relationship ended on good terms. Neither approach is wrong, but couples should be on the same page by the 6 month mark.

  • Love 4

Amy incorrectly assumes, in my opinion, that she needs to be married in order to be considered a successful woman. If there was something I ever wanted to say to her, it's that being married is not the only measure of success in this world.

The fact that the Roloff residence even came up in Caryn's divorce in 2014 tells me there's something more than Matt's story of "I was fully divorced in 2016 and suddenly I realized what a hot lil piece of woman Caryn was!"

Because I do now think the baby was somewhat unplanned (I suspect that they *didn't* expect to get pregnant so quickly), I will throw Jeremy and Audrey some bones on how tired they look. The baby means they can't continue playing in Bend, and needing to find a new place to live is a pain in the ass when not pregnant. I also think they're starting to internalize that they've kinda locked themselves into the whole mess and things WILL change. Casual weekday ski trips are done. Casual off to NYC trips are done. Lengthy trips where they do exciting sporty things? Done. For the next three years at least, part of their daily routine will be cleaning feces off a child. And ANY shirking at all? They will be criticized as they are in the enviable position of actually being able to afford to have a child AND spend time with it. Boo hoo hoo, the baby keeps them up - its not like they have to be at work after no sleep - these two can literally roll out of bed, feed the baby, tend the baby, and go back to bed. Any bitching at all? Is the two of them being ungrateful for the luck they have in not *needing* to put the kid in daycare so they can both work.

  • Love 4
56 minutes ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

I can see why Matt may sincerely believe the kids dread talking about the pregnancies and being parents ... it's because he turns every discussion about it into a droning, depressing lecture about the crushing financial burden and tedious responsibilities having a child entails.  They probably have expressed dismay when he brings the subject up. 

Of course being the narcissistic asshole that he is, he assumed that's also Amy's experience when she talks about the future with the kids so he felt entitled  to decide for the both of them what would and would not be permitted topics of discussion. I notice that his preferred subject matter would have conveniently landed him right on center stage.  Typical narcissist. I am glad to hear it didn't turn out the way he wanted ( I haven't seen the end of the episode yet, life interuppted). 

It's just sad that Matt doesn't understand that to the extent any of the kids don't want to be on the farm, it is because of him more than anything else. His whining and his controlling behavior and the way he constantly picks at Amy trying to instigate a fight is exhausting and no damn fun. But instead of understanding what the problem is and doing something about it, he hatches a plot to manipulate the kids into bringing the grandbabies around whether they want to or not by making the farm so appealing to their children, the little kids beg to go to grandpa's. That's just messed up. 

And it's actually funny because grandkids have a strange way of seeing right through their grandparent's bullshit  the same way their own parents do and its entirely possible the littles may one day think Matt is a complete pain in the ass.  I can see them totally preferring the company if their warm, indulgent grandma who is genuinely interested in them and how they feel and what they think. This as opposed to being with crabby, complaining grandpa who can't do anything but talk about himself and has to be the center of attention every waking moment or everyone suffers.  

I envision the littles spending 90% of their time during visits to the farm with Amy and then making the obligatory trek over to grandpa's out of sense of duty. And with Matt's fragile health, by the time these kids are going to be old enough to just go on over and hang out with grandpa on their own, he may be in pretty poor shape. And a sickly grandpa does not make for a lot of fun time romping around the farm for little kids, at least not without help from one of the marrieds. Which means Matt may be right back where he started ... trying to make people who don't want to linger at the farm hang around and put up with him.

Good luck with that, Matt!

So well-said, Celia. Grandma will doing craft projects and mixing cookie dough with them. Grandpa will be ... telling them how hard he had it because he spent his entire childhood in the hospital. And behaving so passively aggressively toward Grandma that even the littlest Roloff will pick up on the tension.

  • Love 7

I'd be super happy to have a grandpa like Matt.  He's made quite a life for his family with his big dreams and endless motivation. Because of his ideas and vision, Amy and the kids have the chance to do what they have passion for.  Not everyone gets that opportunity.  He's done this while dealing with a lot of pain too.   I have a lot of respect for the man.  No one is perfect, but, I think he has a lot to be proud of.  Amy too.  Matt gives her a lot of credit.  I don't see any reason they can't be super grandparents. 

18 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

A narcissist never changes.

Narcissism never goes away.  I spent Saturday afternoon at a neighbor's barbecue listening to a woman who must have been in her eighties who could talk of nothing but herself and what she was doing, turning the conversation back to herself in such a way it embarrassed everyone there.  The most amazing part was when she told her son (a medic in the Green Berets) he was selfish for not being there for her birthday (his response: "I was busy amputating a kid's leg that was half blown off by an IED on your birthday, sorry mom").  She sneered and told him she was tired of hearing about him and the war and went back to complaining about how much her knees hurt.  He muttered to me "at least she still has her knees."  LOL

A narcissist NEVER changes, you are right Jellybeans.  100% right.

 

3 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'd be super happy to have a grandpa like Matt.  He's made quite a life for his family with his big dreams and endless motivation. Because of his ideas and vision, Amy and the kids have the chance to do what they have passion for.  Not everyone gets that opportunity.  He's done this while dealing with a lot of pain too.   I have a lot of respect for the man.  No one is perfect, but, I think he has a lot to be proud of.  Amy too.  Matt gives her a lot of credit.  I don't see any reason they can't be super grandparents. 

Does Amy get ANY credit for making quite a life for the family, for giving Matt the chance to do what he has a passion for?  Because I am pretty sure she was working her ass off at multiple jobs and taking care of the kids and house all by herself.  And it seems to me that Matt gives her very little credit.  His smart ass comment - made to Jeremy and Audrey, no less - about how you can't tell when Amy is happy or complaining or whatever it was he said.  You should not trashtalk the mother or your children to said children, and that is what he was doing.  He has no respect for her at all.

I think he is going to be extremely jealous when the grandkids clearly favor her.  But it will give him something to whine about in his old age, so deep down it will actually make him happy.  He has to always be the victim.   Poor, unappreciated, unloved Matt.  Ask yourself WHY, Matt.  Ask yourself WHY! 

  • Love 12
Quote

Does Amy get ANY credit for making quite a life for the family, for giving Matt the chance to do what he has a passion for?  Because I am pretty sure she was working her ass off at multiple jobs and taking care of the kids and house all by herself.

I've often wondered how Matt would have fared if Amy had died or left him holding the bag on four children under the age of ten?

Matt never acknowledges  that if he had to get the kids dressed, and feed the kids, and take the kids to school, and then work, then pick up the kids and launder the kids clothes and make meals for the kids and then wash the kids dishes and put the kids to bed, if he'd ALSO have time to "dream the dreams".

I'm sorry - I have seen Matt open sniff and scoff at the idea of Amy doing anything useful for him that I would LOVE to see him filmed with four rambunctious child between the ages of 6-14, with MATT getting them up, MATT dressing them, MATT making them come to the table to eat the breakfast MATT made with no help, MATT making lunches for school, MATT reminding each child what they needed for school, MATT getting the kids out the door and into the car, MATT unloading each kid at school, MATT going home to do laundry, and pick up the house, make sure the dog is fed, MATT driving back to school to get each kid, MATT coaching a child's team, MATT monitoring homework being done while MATT also makes dinner for five people, MATT making sure each kid is bathed, MATT doing the dishes.

Oh wait, all that shit is shitwork for a wife and MATT ain't no woman! He's a man, dreaming a dream and his wifey had best mind the house and remember her place as the shitworker who doesn't dream! Only MATT is allowed to be free! Because MATT  does the *real* work. And if MATT decides something is shit work, well, a) Matt  sure as hell isn't doing it, and b) Matt sure as hell doesn't think it's important.

The two times Matt praised Amy - once at Jeremy's wedding and once at Zach's in no way makes up for the hundreds of times he noted her chores were a waste of his time and spending time with his family was a waste of his time and that the thing that kept him alive and going wwere his projects and certainly NOT his family  - who I remind you all - he said were a waste of his time.

  • Love 14

Matt gives Amy a lot of credit on tv.  He's always said that she did a great job as a mom.  She's worked part-time, but, I don't recall much more than child care or pre-school teacher.  She seems like she'd be good with kids.  She had the opportunity to be a soccer mom, attending games, helping with practice, a lot of mom's who work full time don't have that option.  She and her kids had many extras that a lot of kids don't have, like private school, travel, college for those who pursued it.

 I don't think think anyone distracts from Amy that I have witnessed.  Matt has encouraged her endeavors.  She seems to struggle with finding her niche.  She's taken a shot at wedding planning, Bed & Breakfast, Pop Up Cafe', Non profit organization, Salsa Business, and a few more.  Most of those things were short lived and not really income producing jobs. (Salsa sales still seem good.)   Still, they provided content for the show.  One thing that she did AFTER they family reached a certain level of success was public speaking.  I think that was perhaps her real calling.  She seemed to excel in doing that.  I wonder how that is going. 

I never saw any real verbal support of Matt by Amy over the years.  She scoffed at his ideas, discouraged his plans and wasn't very positive about much of anything.  I can't count how many times she became upset about the Pumpkin Farm and how crazy the thought that idea was.  lol  God bless her, she's just not a business person, but, that's okay.  She admits that.  I bet she's glad he didn't listen to her during that time, but, kept the faith.  

  • Love 1
(edited)
6 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I think that the adult kids have a certain amount of trepidation at family gatherings most of the time.  And that's understandable, imo.  Nasty words, verbal assaults, tempers have flown for many years at family gatherings.  NOW, that Amy and Matt are divorced, it seems that those type of demonstrations are not so frequent. (Thank goodness.)  But, I suppose it's still in the back of their minds. Is there an elephant in the room? I think there may be a couple.  I'm not sure of the details, but, maybe, it'll be revealed.  I think there is some animosity regarding the parents and their new romantic interests, though, I'm not sure how many of the kids share this concern.  Maybe, it's concern for heartache or maybe, it's about money.....time will tell. 

I think a business dinner would have more of a likelihood of becoming contentious, than a family dinner talking about pregnancies, and how their lives are going.  If the kids are going to "dread" something, it would be Matt's idea of a business dinner.

Good for Amy for FINALLY getting her way about something, after decades of having to bow down to Matt's wishes.  Most of which she was never even consulted about, until the project was halfway done.

6 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Matt gives Amy a lot of credit on tv.  He's always said that she did a great job as a mom.  She's worked part-time, but, I don't recall much more than child care or pre-school teacher.  She seems like she'd be good with kids.  She had the opportunity to be a soccer mom, attending games, helping with practice, a lot of mom's who work full time don't have that option.  She and her kids had many extras that a lot of kids don't have, like private school, travel, college for those who pursued it.

 I don't think think anyone distracts from Amy that I have witnessed.  Matt has encouraged her endeavors.  She seems to struggle with finding her niche.  She's taken a shot at wedding planning, Bed & Breakfast, Pop Up Cafe', Non profit organization, Salsa Business, and a few more.  Most of those things were short lived and not really income producing jobs. (Salsa sales still seem good.)   Still, they provided content for the show.  One thing that she did AFTER they family reached a certain level of success was public speaking.  I think that was perhaps her real calling.  She seemed to excel in doing that.  I wonder how that is going. 

I never saw any real verbal support of Matt by Amy over the years.  She scoffed at his ideas, discouraged his plans and wasn't very positive about much of anything.  I can't count how many times she became upset about the Pumpkin Farm and how crazy the thought that idea was.  lol  God bless her, she's just not a business person, but, that's okay.  She admits that.  I bet she's glad he didn't listen to her during that time, but, kept the faith.  

You must have missed all of the talking heads where he used to say that her ideas were stupid, or that if she did a good job on something, it was pure luck.  There were many more of those than praise through the years.

 

ZoloftBlob and Celia Rubenstein I pm'd you.

Edited by Honey
  • Love 7
(edited)
Quote

 He's always said that she did a great job as a mom.

Are there any examples of this other than at Jeremy and Zach's wedding?

I can cite multiple examples of Matt saying spending time with his family was "a waste of his time". I cite examples of Matt stating "Amy thinks small while I think big", Matt railing about the housekeeping, Matt noting how he never felt "welcome" in his home, Matt noting again and again that Amy's work was meaningless and less important than his.

Heck at one point, Matt was *proud* to cite the messy house and Amy's unwillingness to pick it up for the cameras as *one of the reasons they got the show* - it was something he posted on the TLC forums. I never saw any real support of Amy by Matt, just a lot of condescending "well, I never thought Amy was capable of handling x, y or z" and a lot more crabbing how her shit wasn't anywhere near as important as his.

I'm willing to say Amy gave as good as she got. I am unwilling to agree that Matt has been the supportive beaten down cowed little victim of Amy. He's been an asshole to her, and vice versa, and he's not a cute lil dickens with his passive aggressive fight picking now. It takes two to have a failed marriage. Matt is not the innocent victim, always smiling and always subservient, he has been a great big part of the problem and he has NOT been supportive of Amy's ideas on new careers, he's been dismissive and derisive and condescending. She's been a bitch too - but he is not the innocent party, and I don't see where this vision of Matt the innocent victim is coming from. I mean, this is the asshole who openly ignored Amy's request that they NOT burn down the old house, did it anyway and laughed at her, and then brought in the new mobile home she'd been against  - he was clearly planning his little flounce away from the marriage with his personal comfort completely in mind.

Edited by ZoloftBlob
  • Love 7
(edited)
1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'd be super happy to have a grandpa like Matt.  He's made quite a life for his family with his big dreams and endless motivation. Because of his ideas and vision, Amy and the kids have the chance to do what they have passion for.  Not everyone gets that opportunity.  He's done this while dealing with a lot of pain too.   I have a lot of respect for the man.  No one is perfect, but, I think he has a lot to be proud of.  Amy too.  Matt gives her a lot of credit.  I don't see any reason they can't be super grandparents. 

Matt was a crappy dad. All  he really gave his kids was stuff. He couldn't be bothered to go to their games. He openly said that their graduations were a waste of his valuable time, as were family vacations. And at one point when Molly was still at home he told Amy he was going to Hawaii and not to bother him until the grandkids came. He cannot take it if his family  don't fall in line and there's no reason to think he'll be different with the next generation. If I were Zach and Tori Matt would never be alone with my kid(s) for fear of continuation of the emotional abuse he subjected his  own kids to.

Edited by Willowsmom
  • Love 10

I always remember that look on Amy's face when Matt announced that he had another project to do. I'm sure she tried to curtail his pipe dreams but he always got to see them through fruition. It was always about the adventure of a new this or a new that. Now he has no more big projects. His partner in crime, Jeremy, has gone off and no longer double teams with Matt to bully Amy into allowing another venture on the farm. I'm waiting for Caryn to become a creative bookkeeper but she doesn't seem like the type to let him loose with too much change jingling in his pockets for another whim. Amy can now (and probably does) make them keep to a budget and she's probably smart enough to keep watch over the farm's accounts or has a CPA do it. I wonder if that was the impetus for Molly becoming an accountant. Watching her Mom struggle to pay for everything (maybe not enough grocery dosh or coins for that new dress) made her want to keep a tight rein on finances.

  • Love 4

I actually believe that I have watched all seasons of this show starting from day one.  Everyone in my family and the people that I know are quite impressed with Matt and his accomplishments.  I don't delight in dissing Amy and I think my assessment of her  is pretty realistic, based on what I have seen for all these years.    I don't take pleasure in such things.  I'd like to think that if the parties are at a good place, then maybe, I should be too. 

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