S09.E13: A Bronx Tale

[WireWrap]

3 minutes ago, Lemons said:

He was a casual boyfriend, she didn't live with him. I don't know why she would pursue a man like that, I don't know her. I'm not saying she has no excuses or that she has excuses for her part in it. 

Might as well be honest. Her resources didn't help her leave.  The court mandated it. I wish her well, she's not a bad person. 

Please, I beg you, read about DV and dating. It doesn't matter if the victim lives with the abuser or not, most victims do not leave/break up with their abusers right away. And just because they didn't live together didn't mean that she wasn't in love with him. Oh, and most abusers don't hit on the first date, they build to it, wait until the victim is in love with them, then hell begins. It took an arrest to break the cycle for Tinsley, the RO didn't stop her from going over to his house because they hooked up several times before her arrest which is all part of the very common DV cycle. 

[howiveaddict]

13 hours ago, BBHN said:

 

Constructive criticism to someone you hired is now a bad thing?

It is to some, if your name is Bethenny.

 

10 hours ago, breezy424 said:

She said that there were no outlets in the bathroom which would mean that she couldn't blow dry or curl her hair in the bathroom.  An inconvenience.

I find that very hard to believe.That Cabin rents for 1500 plus a night.

5 hours ago, Drumpf1737 said:

To Ramona's entitled ass the host should hold a room for her. I wonder if Ramona pissed off producers or if it's just her turn. She is a shit show and her best bet to redemption is "I was so hurt after the divorce". Unfortunately for her, she's too arrogant to humble herself so I look forward to her digging herself deeper in the reunion.

Didn't Ramona slap a producer years ago?  I think she has pissed off a lot of producers.

[motorcitymom65]

20 minutes ago, Lemons said:

He was a casual boyfriend, she didn't live with him. I don't know why she would pursue a man like that, I don't know her. I'm not saying she has no excuses or that she has excuses for her part in it. 

Might as well be honest. Her resources didn't help her leave.  The court mandated it. I wish her well, she's not a bad person. 

Yea, she doesn't seem like a bad person to me. I like her for the most part. 

Does anyone know what the stats are for an actual recovery when someone doesn't make the choice to leave? From what I have read, there is every chance she would still be with him if not for the arrest. She didn't make the choice to get out of the relationship, the choice was mandated by the court. Does that make a difference as she tries to move on? I use to watch that show Hoarders, and they often talked about the fact that a person could never actually recover unless they themselves were the ones to make the choice and participate in the clean-up. People often say, just go in there and clean their house, and once they live in an organized, clean environment, they will see how great it is and they will be all fixed emotionally. But apparently if they are not the ones to make the hard choices, they will just end up living in a pile of shit again. 

[Lemons]

18 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

Please, I beg you, read about DV and dating. It doesn't matter if the victim lives with the abuser or not, most victims do not leave/break up with their abusers right away. And just because they didn't live together didn't mean that she wasn't in love with him. Oh, and most abusers don't hit on the first date, they build to it, wait until the victim is in love with them, then hell begins. It took an arrest to break the cycle for Tinsley, the RO didn't stop her from going over to his house because they hooked up several times before her arrest which is all part of the very common DV cycle. 

Humans are complex and don't always fit into a textbook description.  I know all the basics.  We don't know her or all the details of her personal story so we don't know if hers was a textbook case. 

   I didn't say it mattered whether they lived together, I just stated they didn't live together. Someone wrote that she used her resources to leave making it sound like she left on her own. That's not accurate. She pursued him and was mandated by the court to stay away. That was made public and the embarrassment is what it took for her to leave. If you listen to her she constantly talks of the public embarrassment of the publically made details and the mugshot that made her look ugly. 

I wouldn't lump all women's stories into textbook cases.

[lunastartron]

1 hour ago, Lemons said:

He was a casual boyfriend, she didn't live with him. I don't know why she would pursue a man like that, I don't know her. I'm not saying she has no excuses or that she has excuses for her part in it. 

Might as well be honest. Her resources didn't help her leave.  The court mandated it. I wish her well, she's not a bad person. 

 

25 minutes ago, Lemons said:

Humans are complex and don't always fit into a textbook description.  I know all the basics.  We don't know her or all the details of her personal story so we don't know if hers was a textbook case. 

   I didn't say it mattered whether they lived together, I just stated they didn't live together. Someone wrote that she used her resources to leave making it sound like she left on her own. That's not accurate. She pursued him and was mandated by the court to stay away. That was made public and the embarrassment is what it took for her to leave. If you listen to her she constantly talks of the public embarrassment of the publically made details and the mugshot that made her look ugly. 

I wouldn't lump all women's stories into textbook cases.

 

She used her resources to relocate from Palm Beach to New York. Ergo, she left. 

The court mandate prohibited her from being on various Fanjul properties, not from being in Palm Beach.

She herself  took the step of removing herself from Florida and returning to New York. 

And she's now applying those resources to therapy.

I'm not sure how the humiliation from the arrest constituting her personal rock bottom and mobilizing her negates that.

It's not as if there is a time limit on escaping abuse and/or a "right" way to remove oneself from it. 

Edited July 1, 2017 by lunastartron

[diadochokinesis]

11 hours ago, breezy424 said:

She said that there were no outlets in the bathroom which would mean that she couldn't blow dry or curl her hair in the bathroom.  An inconvenience.

Lu can't ever go to the Middle East then unless they switch their policy on preferring to stay in houses. Villas don't normally have outlets in the bathrooms (I think it is a building code thing since the bathrooms are wet rooms). I do remember outlets in the bathrooms (one only, normally) at the Four Seasons in Abu Dhabi and the Ritz-Carlton in Dubai. 

[epc]

20 hours ago, zulualpha said:

I predict Luann is going to kick everyone's ass on the ski slope. She lived in Switzerland on a mountain as a young wife/mother IIRC and skied all the time. She's probably got a killer outfit too. As for the rest of them who knows.

Bethany has as someone upstream said a very dry sense of humor but also at times a flat humorless affect and harsh delivery. It can be off putting to say the least. Last week Fredrick was telling her to get rid of the bar in the apartment she was selling implied it was ugly and suggested it would be okay if the thing broke. Bethany turned to him and cussed him out telling him to fuck right off etc. She did this with no smile or twinkle in her eye and it came off to me as super aggressive and rude. Fredrik just let it slide off his back. Tinsley may not be used to Bethany yet so she may have been upset or offended by her.

I'm sorry, I'm a southern belle by birth, and don't have a new york sensibility, but even I could tell she was joking when she said that to Fredrik - and so could Fredrik. 

[epc]

13 hours ago, rhys said:

Is there a way to see the basement bedroom online? IIRC, Luann's complaint in her blog is that neither her bathroom nor bedroom had any outlets. If so, that is rather odd. Still doesn't explain the help's use of her john.

Lol, the pictures show that both bedrooms had bedside lighting. I wonder how that was accomplished without outlets...

ETA: oops, read further to find that she was just complaining about not outlets in the bathroom. Still, such hardships.

Edited July 1, 2017 by epc

[Wendy]

2 hours ago, WireWrap said:

Having ones own money doesn't mean that they are exempt from the vicious and all too frequent cycle of abuse. Getting hit/beaten, staying/coming back to be abused all over again. They call it a "cycle" for a reason and neither wealth or education change how often that cycle happens to DV victims. 

 

I agree with you 100%, money is never a guarantee of happiness. 

I am probably confused but weren't you one of the most vocal advocates about how Bethenny's claims of a horrible childhood couldn't be true because her parents/stepfather were wealthy and had enough money so she was probably lying, exaggerating or shouldn't complain at all being that others had it worse than her? 

Bethenny was stuck being a child, she couldn't just simply pack and leave. Tinsley was a grown up woman who was physically abused but refused to file charges and kept coming back to the jerk time after time. Matter of fact the arrest was solely due to the fact that she had a RO and she DECIDED to go back to the place where she was forbidden to go, even after the 911 call when the police warned her that she shouldn't be there, she still stayed until the police arrived and she got arrested.  

During that scene, it seemed to me that the abuse hurt her but the thing she kept coming back to was the scandal, public humiliation and mug shot plastered in all media outlets, she emphasized that above anything else. Tinsley could have easily avoided the scandal and humiliation had she not violated the RO. That was Tinsley's stupid mistake and she needs to own up to it. Her boyfriend parents are rich, they have a lot of influence, they can do many, many things, but they sure didn't hold a pistol to her head and forced her to go to the BF house and put herself in direct violation of the law, that is all on Tinsley. 

 

I feel bad for Tinsley and what happened to her, nobody should be treated like that, but until she assumes responsibility for the stupid mistakes she made; until she takes charge of her life and stops waiting for Prince Charming to rescue her and starts taking charge of her own life, nothing will change. 

Edited July 1, 2017 by Wendy

[WireWrap]

12 minutes ago, Wendy said:

 

I agree with you 100%, money is never a guarantee of happiness. 

I am probably confused but weren't you one of the most vocal advocates about how Bethenny's claims of a horrible childhood couldn't be true because her parents/stepfather were wealthy and had enough money so she was probably lying, exaggerating or shouldn't complain at all being that others had it worse than her? 

Bethenny was stuck being a child, she couldn't just simply pack and leave. Tinsley was a grown up woman who was physically abused but refused to file charges and kept coming back to the jerk time after time. Matter of fact the arrest was solely due to the fact that she had a RO and she DECIDED to go back to the place where she was forbidden to go, even after the 911 call when the police warned her that she shouldn't be there, she still stayed until the police arrived and she got arrested.  

During that scene, it seemed to me that the abuse hurt her but the thing she kept coming back to was the scandal, public humiliation and mug shot plastered in all media outlets, she emphasized that above anything else. Tinsley could have easily avoided the scandal and humiliation had she not violated the RO. That was Tinsley's stupid mistake and she needs to own up to it. Her boyfriend parents are rich, they have a lot of influence, they can do many, many things, but they sure didn't hold a pistol to her head and forced her to go to the BF house and put herself in direct violation of the law, that is all on Tinsley. 

 

I feel bad for Tinsley and what happened to her, nobody should be treated like that, but until she assumes responsibility for the stupid mistakes she made; until she takes charge of her life and stops waiting for Prince Charming to rescue her and starts taking charge of her own life, nothing will change. 

No, I said her mother disputes Bethenny's claims. I never said that because they had money she didn't have a bad/rough childhood, you are confusing posters. 

As for Tinsley, the abusive bf told her to come over and get her purse, which she left at his house a few days before when they hooked up. They were still seeing each other even though there was a RO in effect, it was a game he played on her. She was stupid to think that because they were still seeing/sleeping with each other that the RO was done. Again, it was a game he played. Yes, she needed that arrest to help her break free of that ass and the scandal was humiliating for her, as it is with most DV victims. At least most DV victims don't have their mug shots plastered on tabloids across the country. And, I think moving to a different state shows us she is moving in the right direction. 

[BBHN]

Quote

She didn't care for Lu in her first season, but it was all pretty much in her TH interviews that she gave her opinion of Lu. Which was basically that she acted superior and condescending (and she did).  She got to like her more as the season went on, but she didn't love her. By the time they took the group trip, Carole had come to the point where Lu didn't bother her so much. Remember that Lu was upset at the reunion after seeing Carole's TH interviews because she said she thought they were friends and didn't know that Carole thought those things about her. Carole apologized for saying those things and said that she now saw her a bit differently. But their relationship was rocky when the next season started because of the things that Carole had said about her. Heather encouraged a friendship and it took. For all of that season they were friends. And all of the next season they were friends. Even after Carole started dating Adam they were friends. Carole said they would hang out at Lu's Hampton house during that season and Lu never let on that she was upset about Adam to her off camera. She only became a shrew after the T&C trip, which happened near the end of the season. And she needed a reason to be mad at Carole. 

That sounds more accurate...sounds like Luann torpedoed that relationship for various reasons...calling Carole a pedophile on Twitter certainly didn't help.

Quote

She didn't leave. A man cracked her head opened and she continued to pursue him.  It took an arrest and the threat of jail if she bothered him again in order for her to leave. 

It does sound like...well, I wouldn't say forced exactly, but her leaving might not have been voluntary...but, good thing she is away from there, and hopefully gets the help she needs.

[Wendy]

1 hour ago, WireWrap said:

No, I said her mother disputes Bethenny's claims. I never said that because they had money she didn't have a bad/rough childhood, you are confusing posters. 

As for Tinsley, the abusive bf told her to come over and get her purse, which she left at his house a few days before when they hooked up. They were still seeing each other even though there was a RO in effect, it was a game he played on her. She was stupid to think that because they were still seeing/sleeping with each other that the RO was done. Again, it was a game he played. Yes, she needed that arrest to help her break free of that ass and the scandal was humiliating for her, as it is with most DV victims. At least most DV victims don't have their mug shots plastered on tabloids across the country. And, I think moving to a different state shows us she is moving in the right direction. 

1

 

I am pretty sure that Tinsley was made aware that she couldn't be anywhere close to him, let alone his residence.  I can't imagine that Tinsley didn't have a lawyer that explained her the details of her RO

He probably was setting her up, I don't dispute that he probably is a POS, a real and entitled jerk. 

I am talking about personal responsibility here, Tinsley violated a RO,  he called her and asked her to get her purse? send another person, ask the police to retrieve it for you, Tinsley does act like a teenager but she is not, she is a 41-year-old woman who knows right from wrong. He could have begged her to come, promised her the sun and the moon but she shouldn't have done it. Notice how he didn't call the police on her, Tinsley is the one who called 911 mainly to complain that her BF was with another woman and she needed to get her purse. She was probably drunk and didn't realize that she was incriminating herself, even after they warned her that she shouldn't be there, she still remained until the police arrived. She must have been really drunk. 

I do feel like Tinsley is stuck in time, she wishes to have her old life back but it is not going to happen. She is doing the right thing, she has moved out of Florida, now she needs to get out of Sonja's house because it is obviously creating anxiety on her. She could go on a monthly lease if she wishes. That IMO is what the other ladies were trying to tell her, they were trying to tell her that she didn't need to put up with Sonja's bossiness, that she has choices.

All I heard from Tinsley is about wanting to find a guy, the right kind of guy, the guy who will save her and give her the life she dreams. I am afraid such guy does not exist, Tinsley will soon have to figure that out. 

Edited July 1, 2017 by Wendy

[crgirl412]

6 hours ago, Thumper said:

I really dislike the scenes with any TV "therapist" on these shows.  I question their validity, and I would never want to go to a therapist who is willing to be on these reality shows.

I almost peed my pants when I saw all of the cases Bethenny's Dr. Amador had been involved with: 

"Dr. Amador has worked on many infamous cases, including that of Theodore Kaczynski (the Unabomber), Jared Loughner , Wanda Barzee (the Elizabeth Smart Kidnapping), Zacarias Moussaoui (the so-called 20th 9/11 hijacker),  PFC Lynndie England (Abu Ghraib prison scandal and the 9/11 conspirator cases at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. He has worked on over 50 death penalty cases in the US, most of which never reached the international headlines."

He's a Forensic Psychologist for goodness sake!  I don't know why he was slumming it on a reality show like this!!! 

[film noire]

2 hours ago, Wendy said:

I am probably confused but weren't you one of the most vocal advocates about how Bethenny's claims of a horrible childhood couldn't be true because her parents/stepfather were wealthy and had enough money so she was probably lying, exaggerating or shouldn't complain at all being that others had it worse than her? 

 

I think you're confusing WireWrap with me-- and if you are, that's not at all what I said at all --  I said Frankel, as child of privilege, was lucky to have access to resources to help her cope with an abusive childhood, resources not made available to poor kids (who usually get sent to foster care, many to be victimized all over again) and that the woman, closing in on fifty, should be noticing the wind at her back while counting up her wounds - I never said wealthy people can't abuse their children, or that a loving parent doesn't trump every last way out that comes from having resources, or that an abused child has no right to complain.

Quote

 she kept coming back to was the scandal, public humiliation

I can understand why public humiliation pierced her denial --  no more secrets, no more hiding -- it was all out in the open, and her face was plastered over every ugly inch of it.

Edited July 1, 2017 by film noire

[ShawnaLanne]

21 hours ago, LIMOM said:

Wow. Well. Whomever gets involved with that dude, knows what's up.

On wwhl, Frederick let it all out. I don't see this partnership lasting very long.

Did we watch the same show? He said she was difficult to work with,  and like yeah clearly. But that was all. 

[film noire]

2 hours ago, crgirl412 said:

I almost peed my pants when I saw all of the cases Bethenny's Dr. Amador had been involved with: 

"Dr. Amador has worked on many infamous cases, including that of Theodore Kaczynski (the Unabomber), Jared Loughner , Wanda Barzee (the Elizabeth Smart Kidnapping), Zacarias Moussaoui (the so-called 20th 9/11 hijacker),  PFC Lynndie England (Abu Ghraib prison scandal and the 9/11 conspirator cases at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. He has worked on over 50 death penalty cases in the US, most of which never reached the international headlines."

He's a Forensic Psychologist for goodness sake!  I don't know why he was slumming it on a reality show like this!!! 

WTF? (He's like a dream Sunday night binge watch  -- "Honey, ID is running back to back episodes starring a forensic shrink who handled -- wait for it! - both the Unabomber AND the Smart kidnapping! YES I KNOW YOU LOVE ME! GET THE VODKA AND POPCORN!") Still, I'm so confused  -- why is he on this show?  I thought he was Jim Jones, but he'd be the shrink on the Jim Jones special? Explaining the charisma, uniqueness,  nerve and talent of cult leaders and sociopaths? I don't get it -- my viewing worlds are colliding -- Help! I'M LOST IN YONKERS!

Edited July 1, 2017 by film noire

[LIMOM]

3 hours ago, ShawnaLanne said:

Did we watch the same show? He said she was difficult to work with,  and like yeah clearly. But that was all. 

Yup. Lol

I can't see those two high maintenance individuals having a long partnership.

There is more to that feud that not agreeing on marble.

I like Fred in small doses and I can forecast disintegration of the partnership in about 3 seasons top, followed by a law suit.

time will tell. ;-)

[LIMOM]

12 hours ago, shoegal said:

If it was a one time attack (whatever it was...if he hit her, or slapped her, knocked her to the ground, whatever), I don't believe that would be the same as the years of multiple abusive episodes between her mother and step-father.  I think Bethenny has issue with her mother because it was repeated over years, in front of her child, and that her mother never left.  I don't believe that it's odd to have resentment over that, and as far as forgiving her step father and allowing him to meet Bryn, I believe she stated that he is a different person now.  I don't think it's odd for Bethenny to forgive him, either. 

Do you remember the circumstances by any chance?

[LIMOM]

10 hours ago, Lemons said:

That was rude of him to make a mess. Besides cleaning the sink and toilet would could take an hour to disinfect?  

I spend a lot of time traveling so I am constantly in airport bathrooms, hotel bathrooms, restaurant bathrooms. You just can't let yourself think of how many people have used it since it was last cleaned.

i don't think there was any reason for Luann to let everyone know that the chef used "her" bathroom.  Would she rather him go outside where,there is nowhere to wash his hands?  Why embarrass him on TV?  A lot of fuss over a 2 or 3 day trip.  

I do travel extensively in not too glamorous places  and I carry disinfecting wipes in my purse everywhere. 

Edited July 1, 2017 by LIMOM

[motorcitymom65]

4 minutes ago, LIMOM said:

Do you remember the circumstances by any chance?

This is what she has said about it, along with some of the comments from her stepfather (Parisella) regarding the abuse when she talked with him about it. 

“I have forgiven, but I haven’t forgotten,” Frankel said of her stepfather, a horse trainer who she said got “physical” with her and her mother, including attacking her when she was 19. 

“I saw my mother get the s— beaten out of her with a telephone, while he said she was out having sex on him,” Frankel told her best friend in Miami. “How could you ever beat somebody in front of your kid?” 

Said Frankel to her stepfather on the beach in Miami: “We had abuse, we had alcohol, we had gambling.” 

“I don’t excuse it,” Parisella said.

[LIMOM]

6 minutes ago, motorcitymom65 said:

This is what she has said about it, along with some of the comments from her stepfather (Parisella) regarding the abuse when she talked with him about it. 

“I have forgiven, but I haven’t forgotten,” Frankel said of her stepfather, a horse trainer who she said got “physical” with her and her mother, including attacking her when she was 19. 

“I saw my mother get the s— beaten out of her with a telephone, while he said she was out having sex on him,” Frankel told her best friend in Miami. “How could you ever beat somebody in front of your kid?” 

Said Frankel to her stepfather on the beach in Miami: “We had abuse, we had alcohol, we had gambling.” 

“I don’t excuse it,” Parisella said.

Thanks :-)

[motorcitymom65]

6 minutes ago, LIMOM said:

I do travel extensively in not too glamorous places  and I carry disinfecting wipes in my purse everywhere. 

Me too! The first thing I disinfect is the remote control. 

But if I thought about it too much all the time, as in "I cannot let a person who is working in my home use my bathroom because - yuck",  I wouldn't be able to do it. If you think too much about what has gone on in your hotel room, and what didn't get cleaned up, you would make yourself nuts. I know that no matter who uses the bathroom in my home, it is probably cleaner than many of the other restrooms I have to use. I have found the stray pubic hair in my hotel bathroom or on the sheets, and called housecleaning, but know those are just the things I can actually see. There is a whole world of bacteria and human nonsense that I cannot see and cannot think about. 

[LIMOM]

Just now, motorcitymom65 said:

Me too! The first thing I disinfect is the remote control. 

But if I thought about it too much all the time, as in "I cannot let a person who is working in my home use my bathroom because - yuck",  I wouldn't be able to do it. If you think too much about what has gone on in your hotel room, and what didn't get cleaned up, you would make yourself nuts. I know that no matter who uses the bathroom in my home, it is probably cleaner than many of the other restrooms I have to use. I have found the stray pubic hair in my hotel bathroom or on the sheets, and called housecleaning, but know those are just the things I can actually see. There is a whole world of bacteria and human nonsense that I cannot see and cannot think about. 

I let workers use my bathroom and there is a big tub of wipes in say powder room.(hint, hint)

 Some clean themselves and for the people who are just nasty(friends and workers alike) I just go after them and wipe.

It is not that hard.

[BBHN]

Quote

Did we watch the same show? He said she was difficult to work with,  and like yeah clearly. But that was all. 

Yeah, people make it sounds like they are 2 seconds away from having a knife fight, which I just don't see.

[KungFuBunny]

From the TrashTalkTv recap

Sonja is hoping that her “new friend” Dorinda gets along with her. She tries the old rewriting history tactic too and says that Dorinda is a new friend and they’re not that close. Luann defends her friendship and says she and Dorinda have been friends since they met in the men’s room of a bar mitzvah at the Regency. Sonja says that they aren’t that close because they haven’t had sex with the same guy. Luann says that’s tasteless and rude and she’s married now!

“Are you mad because I’m talking about the pirate?”

“Umm, no.”

“Harry Dubin?”

“*cough* No *cough*”

“Tom?”

Luann: You’re a disgusting trollop and I will no longer listen to this!”

[Mindthinkr]

10 hours ago, Lemons said:

don't know why she would pursue a man like that

Money. She saw a chance of having enough money again to lead her charmed life. I don't begrudge her this however. I don't know that she knows how to live life any differently. She has been coddled and wants to feel safe and secure again. Dosh is a big security blanket that makes her feel safe. 

Edited July 1, 2017 by Mindthinkr
Grammar

[KungFuBunny]

https://www.trashtalktv.com/06/30/rhony-recap-despicable-freaks/413051/

[KungFuBunny]

18 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

first floor master - Carole & Bethenny

second floor master - Dorinda

second floor queen suite - Sonja & Ramona

second floor twin suite - Tinsley

basement queen room - Luann

basement twin room - empty

^ also the order of their arrival.   slow you blow.

I wouldn't say those words around Dorinda, unless you were off camera.

Mindy said to Harry - you snooze you lose

Edited July 1, 2017 by KungFuBunny

[BBHN]

Quote

From the TrashTalkTv recap

God, that was a great recap.

[lunastartron]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

Money. She saw a chance of having enough money again to lead her charmed life. I don't begrudge her this however. I don't know that she knows how to live life any differently. She has been coddled and wants to feel safe and secure again. Dosh is a big security blanket that makes her feel safe. 

I think it's more complex than that.

I don't think Tinsley considers money all that much because she's never had to. Sure, the Fanjuls are some of the wealthiest people in the country but millions vs billions are pretty much the same as long as the amount in your coffers enables you to live your life as you please.

If stature and finances are the ne plus ultra for her, she could have just stayed with Topper and done nothing except go shopping and lunching for the rest of her life. But she always worked in some capacity (Vogue and PR are not exactly medical residencies but they are fast-paced, high-pressured, and perfectionistically oriented) and ended a marriage in which her husband wanted to remain and that had effectively lasted for almost half her life because she said he felt more like a brother than a romantic partner. 

Edited July 1, 2017 by lunastartron

[KungFuBunny]

14 hours ago, lezlers said:

Yeah, I'm seriously side eying Tinsley.  There are a some women that embrace their victim status a little TOO much.   They enjoy the attention they get from it and milk it for all it's worth, some going so far as to use it to excuse their own bad behavior and/or use it as an excuse not to live their lives.  The way she brushed aside Bethanny and was like "well, yours wasn't made public" was telling.  For starters, Bethanny's situation is EXTREMELY public so it was a ridiculous thing to say.  Secondly, you could tell Tinsley didn't appreciate not being the sole "victim" sitting at the table.  Her story is worse than everyone else's.  She deserves the most sympathy from everyone at the table.  How dare anyone tell her she needs to move on with her life.  She's a VICTIM!  I get that something traumatic happened to her but girlfriend is carrying on like she was just rescued by a SWAT team after being chained up in a bunker for the past two years.  The dramatics just seem a wee bit over the top given the situation.

I don't think the other ladies were telling Tinsley to get over her physical/mental abuse. They were all saying listen you've been bitching to every one of us about Sonja, either abide by her rules or get out.

The black eye/head laceration happened in 2013. So very early in their relationship she learned how violent of a situation she was in. She chose to keep going back for another 3 years. She had the financial means to leave. She had the emotional support from her family (dad was still alive, mom & sister). The criminal trespass papers were served to her in October 2015, she was arrested in April 2016.

[KungFuBunny]

11 hours ago, motorcitymom65 said:

Yea, she doesn't seem like a bad person to me. I like her for the most part. 

Does anyone know what the stats are for an actual recovery when someone doesn't make the choice to leave? From what I have read, there is every chance she would still be with him if not for the arrest. She didn't make the choice to get out of the relationship, the choice was mandated by the court. Does that make a difference as she tries to move on? I use to watch that show Hoarders, and they often talked about the fact that a person could never actually recover unless they themselves were the ones to make the choice and participate in the clean-up. People often say, just go in there and clean their house, and once they live in an organized, clean environment, they will see how great it is and they will be all fixed emotionally. But apparently if they are not the ones to make the hard choices, they will just end up living in a pile of shit again. 

This is why I've been saying she shouldn't be in a new relationship with any man right now.

There is a cycle of abuse and a pattern. She didn't break the cycle because she chose to do so, this was ordered by the court for her to stay away from him.

Tinsley to her therapist. She was angry at her father, he became an alcoholic later in life, he's weak. She has nightmares. She needs to drink to sleep but doesn't feel she has an issue with alcohol - this is just "situational". If I had nightmares about the abusive ex, I would be finding every means to stay awake be it OTC, caffeine pills, or prescriptive drugs.

She is not dealing with every day issues from a normal perspective. They've shown her drinking a lot - at all hours of the day.

A woman who was in such a physically abusive place goes to Beautique and picks up Hanging Chad. He is a stranger - yet she has no fear of letting a new man physically close to her, she shows no caution in sticking her tongue down his throat for the cameras to capture, she showed no fear in meeting him for a date and then again making out with him for the cameras. She was physically aggressive with him at the bowling alley.

It seemed to me she was trying to show the ex, look at me I'm still hot and desirable.

[Juliegirlj]

Bethenny claimed that she and Carole didn't take " the nicest room" when they arrived a day before the other women, and then encouraged Dorinda to take the master suite. However, that house has two master suites, and the room that they did take is very nice, perhaps the best room. Not saying they weren't entitled to the best room, but just don't make up a story about it... 

[BBHN]

Maybe the HWs thought Dorinda's suite was nicer.

[Juliegirlj]

When I travel I always have a pack of disinfectant wipes, and even in the best hotels I wipe the remote control, the bathroom doorknobs and light switches!! 

On that note: a pet peeve of mine is public restrooms that have doors that open inward-requiring one to touch the doorknob and pull the door open. Poor design! 

[diadochokinesis]

Travel to Dubai.  There are attendants in the bathrooms that will go in and clean it between people. 

American airports drive me crazy. I just feel like it is uncivilized and people are treated like cattle. The only country I've flown in where people were treated worse was India. 

[Chit Chat]

I can't figure out how some people can be such slobs when using public bathrooms!  Paper towels and toilet paper strewn everywhere, WTF?  

Awesome recap, KungFuBunny!  Thanks for the link.

[KungFuBunny]

8 minutes ago, Juliegirlj said:

When I travel I always have a pack of disinfectant wipes, and even in the best hotels I wipe the remote control, the bathroom doorknobs and light switches!! 

On that note: a pet peeve of mine is public restrooms that have doors that open inward-requiring one to touch the doorknob and pull the door open. Poor design! 

OMG I thought it was just me.

I hate that when you are done, you have to maneuver yourself to stand to the side of the toilet to open the door.

[rhys]

2 hours ago, BBHN said:

God, that was a great recap.

"Big blond fidget spinner." What a great phrase.

Writer girl needs to learn how to spell "its" tho. Oi

[motorcitymom65]

15 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

I can't figure out how some people can be such slobs when using public bathrooms!  Paper towels and toilet paper strewn everywhere, WTF?  

Awesome recap, KungFuBunny!  Thanks for the link.

How can people be such slobs in general? I am always embarrassed for my gender when I go into a fitting room and find clothes folks didn't want thrown about. I guess because it is someone else's job to pick them up? My husband worked for a very high end retailer for years. The stories he would tell about the things that women left discarded in the fitting room. Dirty diapers, used maxipads, etc. It is just horrifying to think that people behave this way with so little concern for others or the people who have to come in behind them and clean it all up. 

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, KungFuBunny said:

This is why I've been saying she shouldn't be in a new relationship with any man right now.

There is a cycle of abuse and a pattern. She didn't break the cycle because she chose to do so, this was ordered by the court for her to stay away from him.

Tinsley to her therapist. She was angry at her father, he became an alcoholic later in life, he's weak. She has nightmares. She needs to drink to sleep but doesn't feel she has an issue with alcohol - this is just "situational". If I had nightmares about the abusive ex, I would be finding every means to stay awake be it OTC, caffeine pills, or prescriptive drugs.

She is not dealing with every day issues from a normal perspective. They've shown her drinking a lot - at all hours of the day.

A woman who was in such a physically abusive place goes to Beautique and picks up Hanging Chad. He is a stranger - yet she has no fear of letting a new man physically close to her, she shows no caution in sticking her tongue down his throat for the cameras to capture, she showed no fear in meeting him for a date and then again making out with him for the cameras. She was physically aggressive with him at the bowling alley.

It seemed to me she was trying to show the ex, look at me I'm still hot and desirable.

KFB- For someone who usually has us on the floor laughing you also understand the situations and have a good handle on them. Your serious side. Good thoughtful post. 

[Martinigirl]

16 hours ago, lezlers said:

Yeah, I'm seriously side eying Tinsley.  There are a some women that embrace their victim status a little TOO much.   They enjoy the attention they get from it and milk it for all it's worth, some going so far as to use it to excuse their own bad behavior and/or use it as an excuse not to live their lives.  The way she brushed aside Bethanny and was like "well, yours wasn't made public" was telling.  For starters, Bethanny's situation is EXTREMELY public so it was a ridiculous thing to say.  Secondly, you could tell Tinsley didn't appreciate not being the sole "victim" sitting at the table.  Her story is worse than everyone else's.  She deserves the most sympathy from everyone at the table.  How dare anyone tell her she needs to move on with her life.  She's a VICTIM!  I get that something traumatic happened to her but girlfriend is carrying on like she was just rescued by a SWAT team after being chained up in a bunker for the past two years.  The dramatics just seem a wee bit over the top given the situation.

Tinsley seems to be the one making it very public...I wouldn't know anything about the victim story or HER if she hadn't join the show. She does seem to want the attention. Side -eyeing here, too.

[Former Nun]

58 minutes ago, diadochokinesis said:

 There are attendants in the bathrooms that will go in and clean it between people. 

In Phoenix, Arizona, Palms Theatre (movies), we had an attendant in the ladies bathroom.  She handed people cloth hand towels.  She was a stern little Black lady and I bet no one would EVER leave anything behind.  Of course it was the 50s/60s I don't think we Americans were so crass yet.  She also made all the popcorn in a big machine in the basement.  This was "the" fancy uptown theater at the time.  I was a teenage usherette who moved up the ranks: candy girl, CASHIER!!!

[CatMomma]

On 6/29/2017 at 2:57 PM, breezy424 said:

I think Tinsley, like other abuse victims, try to make light of it to cover up their hurt and pain.  They try to make themselves look strong on the outside while they're falling apart in the inside. 

There is also a lot of shame. Abused women are made to feel stupid or partially responsible for the abuse. In almost every case, there are people who say, "Why didn't she leave?" It becomes the victim's fault even more than the abuser. There is always a small part of Tinsley that will blame herself, to the point where she will question her judgment in many other aspects of her life.

Yes, most of the women have been publicly embarrased by a significant other, but physical abuse is a whole other level of humiliation. I am sure they thought they were helping, but there is a time to shut up. 

[Mindthinkr]

20 minutes ago, Martinigirl said:

Tinsley seems to be the one making it very public...I wouldn't know anything about the victim story or HER if she hadn't join the show. She does seem to want the attention. Side -eyeing here, too.

Same here. I only learned a few posts ago that she chose to leave her husband for a lack of chemistry. 

[Martinigirl]

Tinsley seems to embellish her story as she goes along........

Sonja may have to get her own no trespassing court order.  

Edited July 1, 2017 by Martinigirl

[lunastartron]

56 minutes ago, Martinigirl said:

Tinsley seems to be the one making it very public...I wouldn't know anything about the victim story or HER if she hadn't join the show. She does seem to want the attention. Side -eyeing here, too.

 

18 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Same here. I only learned a few posts ago that she chose to leave her husband for a lack of chemistry. 

 

I had no idea who Priyanka Chopra was prior to Quantico premiering on ABC. But she has been known to millions across the world for years.

I would hazard a guess that more Americans than not don't know who Bethenny Frankel is and/or don't care.

"I've never heard of ---" is not a reliable metric of fame. The restaurant patron who spoke to Carole didn't even know the name of FLOTUS.

Tinsley's arrest and abuse were covered extensively by New York and society outlets well before she joined the show - Page Six, People, Jezebel, and similar press. She was regularly profiled by Town & Country, Vogue, and the NYTimes from 2006 - 2009. Her social milieu is well aware of who she is and her "fall from grace" as the Post described it.

The can of worms was already open within the public as it relates to her prior to her casting. The police reports, black eye photos, hospital details, and neighbor accounts were online and in print media. 

Edited July 1, 2017 by lunastartron

[BBHN]

Quote

I would hazard a guess that more Americans than not don't know who Bethenny Frankel is and/or don't care.

I would hazard a guess that prior to Tinsley joining the show, more Americans knew who Bethenny, Luann, and Sonja are than they do Tinsley.

Edited July 1, 2017 by BBHN

[lunastartron]

13 minutes ago, BBHN said:

I would hazard a guess that prior to Tinsley joining the show, more Americans knew who Bethenny, Luann, and Sonja were.

That was my point. 

The premise that Tinsley's abuse and arrest weren't already highly public because she is unknown to most viewers of the franchise is faulty because fame and celebrity are relative. They were well known and extensively documented by the social strata with which she is most familiar and press.

Just as details of Bethenny's life are public fodder before she introduces them into the narrative of the show.

Edited July 1, 2017 by lunastartron

[LIMOM]

2 hours ago, Juliegirlj said:

When I travel I always have a pack of disinfectant wipes, and even in the best hotels I wipe the remote control, the bathroom doorknobs and light switches!! 

On that note: a pet peeve of mine is public restrooms that have doors that open inward-requiring one to touch the doorknob and pull the door open. Poor design! 

I use my sleeves and or toilet paper.