S06.E12: The Ties That Bind

[teapot]

On ‎11‎/‎8‎/‎2016 at 1:50 AM, schroob said:

Way to milk drama. B&T haven't changed anything.

....speaking of milk, it has been bugging me.  Was Cate sitting there sipping on a mug of milk in the café"?  that just struck me as sort of strange...not that people don't drink it, but you don't see that a lot, or usually it's in a glass, unless it's warm...dear Lord, I need to get a hobby.  (unless I should just admit that this *is* my hobby!)

[Yolo]

They actually have a petition to get Farrah off of the show www.change.org!

[FawnLeibowitz]

16 minutes ago, Yolo said:

They actually have a petition to get Farrah off of the show www.change.org!

What they need is a petition to stop this show entirely.

[Yolo]

21 minutes ago, FawnLeibowitz said:

What they need is a petition to stop this show entirely.

I agree with you fawn wholeheartedly the show is trash now, but if it has to be someone I would love for it to be Farrah's funny looking self!!!

[GreatKazu]

21 hours ago, teapot said:

....speaking of milk, it has been bugging me.  Was Cate sitting there sipping on a mug of milk in the café"?  that just struck me as sort of strange...not that people don't drink it, but you don't see that a lot, or usually it's in a glass, unless it's warm...dear Lord, I need to get a hobby.  (unless I should just admit that this *is* my hobby!)

I think it was a latte with a lot of the other sweet things Cate would want, but instead of double this and that, it was triple.

2 hours ago, FawnLeibowitz said:

What they need is a petition to stop this show entirely.

Exactly. And this is why the other girls think they are so entitled and act so smug in her presence. I cannot stand Farrah, but why should she be removed? It wasn't her who went after another cast member. If anything, a petition should be set in motion to get rid of Matt. For all the talk about "If you or you know someone who is in an abusive relationship" and "If you or you know someone who is pregnant" and all of those other PSAs they shove down our throats along with their asinine claim about being responsible for lowering the teen pregnancy rate, MTV should sit their fat asses down and think for once about the hypocrisy this show has become. They engage arguments and fights. They engage by becoming these fake mediators and therapists. They are a bunch of brown-nosers to the entire cast. This show is so far from what it was supposed to be. Get rid of this show and then let's see where these assholes are at in five years.

Edited November 17, 2016 by GreatKazu

[Yolo]

7 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

I think it was a latte with a lot of the other sweet things Cate would want, but instead of double this and that, it was triple.

Exactly. And this is why the other girls think they are so entitled and act so smug in her presence. I cannot stand Farrah, but why should she be removed? It wasn't her who went after another cast member. If anything, a petition should be set in motion to get rid of Matt. For all the talk about "If you or you know someone who is in an abusive relationship" and "If you or you know someone who is pregnant" and all of those other PSAs they shove down our throats along with their asinine claim about being responsible for lowering the teen pregnancy rate, MTV should sit their fat asses down and think for once about the hypocrisy this show has become. They engage arguments and fights. They engage by becoming these fake mediators and therapists. They are a bunch of brown-nosers to the entire cast. This show is so far from what it was supposed to be. Get rid of this show and then let's see where these assholes are at in five years.

I love it! Well said!

[RealityMyArse]

VERY late to the party, but allow me to interject as the adoptive mom in a completely open adoption. Our son is now 22. There was never an adoption agency involved: just the birth mother, the birth father, adoptive parents, attorneys, and social workers that did the home studies (well, I guess the word, "just" is kind of silly... that's actually a lot of people, but my point is we managed to keep adoption agencies out of the process). When our birth mother (Jenny) wanted to see her son, she saw her son: he spent the night with her when he was 3 weeks old, and just this one night caused her to realize that she wasn't ready to parent. But just because she wasn't ready to parent full-time didn't mean that she wasn't there for birthdays, Christmas, and other holidays. My son grew up knowing both families, and when he was 18, he met his birth father and his family, too. I adopted other kids, and Jenny had other children, as well: between the two of our families, we raised 6 children. They are all almost through college now, and soon Jenny and I would like to start a foundation advocating true open adoption. What Brandon and Theresa have done in cutting off visitation hurts my heart. Most of all, it's going to hurt Carly.

[GreatKazu]

6 minutes ago, RealityMyArse said:

VERY late to the party, but allow me to interject as the adoptive mom in a completely open adoption. Our son is now 22. There was never an adoption agency involved: just the birth mother, the birth father, adoptive parents, attorneys, and social workers that did the home studies (well, I guess the word, "just" is kind of silly... that's actually a lot of people, but my point is we managed to keep adoption agencies out of the process). When our birth mother (Jenny) wanted to see her son, she saw her son: he spent the night with her when he was 3 weeks old, and just this one night caused her to realize that she wasn't ready to parent. But just because she wasn't ready to parent full-time didn't mean that she wasn't there for birthdays, Christmas, and other holidays. My son grew up knowing both families, and when he was 18, he met his birth father and his family, too. I adopted other kids, and Jenny had other children, as well: between the two of our families, we raised 6 children. They are all almost through college now, and soon Jenny and I would like to start a foundation advocating true open adoption.

Thank you for sharing your story. Each case is different. Sounds like you both succeeded with the open adoption concept. Sadly, not everyone does well with it.

I assume your child and your own life was not part of a reality tv program? Because your scenario and B&T's scenario are different because of the publicity surrounding their child. Did you have your birth mother's "fans", family, or friends go find out where you live and threaten you? Did you have complete strangers contact you and demand you give your child back to Jenny and say your child is not your child?

Quote

What Brandon and Theresa have done in cutting off visitation hurts my heart. Most of all, it's going to hurt Carly.

We don't have the complete story as to why B&T cut off visitation. We don't know what other problems surfaced and how that affected Carly. What will hurt Carly would be to continue to have visitation with two people who have not learned to follow the expectations and rules of her parents. Boundaries are set for a reason and when those boundaries are ignored, it is a red flag to the parents. As parents we need to recognize red flags. Tyler has exclaimed how he is not going to be told what to do as far as his connection with Carly is concerned. Another red flag. Their constant mention about Carly being their daughter is another red flag. Cate's flagrant use of pot and doing it while driving, is another red flag. Most of all, Carly's life is at risk. We don't know what being in the public eye has brought to Carly as far as home and school. Try as they might, B&T cannot keep Carly's face private. Her face was captured on camera at the wedding against B&T's wishes. In the end, we don't even know if it was Carly who has mentioned not wanting these visits anymore or indicating she is no longer comfortable around C&T.  What we do know is C&T have failed miserably with their own lives and Nova's. It is not at all a healthy environment. I don't blame any parent for not wanting their child around those two. I don't even like Nova being in their presence.

[poopchute]

The giant blanket with her giant face on it: red flag.

[RealityMyArse]

I assume your child and your own life was not part of a reality tv program? Because your scenario and B&T's scenario are different because of the publicity surrounding their child. Did you have your birth mother's "fans", family, or friends go find out where you live and threaten you? Did you have complete strangers contact you and demand you give your child back to Jenny and say your child is not your child?

You assume correctly: there was very little publicity surrounding our adoption, though there was a little at the beginning, and a little along the way (different story for a different day). B&T absolutely HAD to know that with Carly would come an incredible amount of baggage: Bethany had to have discussed it with them, and MTV would have been required to get release forms from them. And let's not gloss over the fact that I'm sure that B&T received certain sums of money "for their trouble" (wink wink nudge nudge). B&T were quite visibly breathless during their early meetings with a pregnant Cate and Tyler: I think they would have said just about anything to be Carly's adoptive parents. Teresa: "Goodbye doesn't mean goodbye....it just means see you later" . I'm sure B&T may have endured a lot from "fans", but there is a hell of a lot of real estate between supervised visits every year and cutting off contact altogether. Whatever the circumstances, I'm absolutely certain that Carly will miss out on something very important in her life by no longer having contact with Cate and Tyler. Not to mention that B&T are just delaying the inevitable: Carly WILL eventually reach 18, and she will most likely want to re-establish ties with C&T. And what could have been a smooth, continuous relationship with everyone involved will turn out to be probably something that will send everyone to their respective therapists. So sad.

[ghoulina]

For one, we don't know they've cut off all contact. It seemed Cate was trying to get an answer about visits and wasn't getting it, likely because B&T are tired of C&T discussing their every move on camera. Yes, they knew the teens were on camera when they had Carly, but NO ONE knew this was going to be an 8 year series. Most people thought 16 & Pregnant was a "one and done", like an episode of True Life, or something. So I can't fault them for wanting to pull back now that the show has gotten so big. If Carly, herself, meant that much to C&T, they could pull back too. 

I really don't see B&T cutting off ALL contact, but I think they want some breathing room to figure things out, and see how C&T correct their behavior, if at all. 

Secondly, I don't know that Carly WOULD be missing out in any huge if she didn't have them in her life. We really don't know the extent to which she knows them, how strongly she cares about them. They could just seem likely family friends that gradually faded away, for all we know. As unhealthy as Cate is right now, I don't think she would have a good impact on ANYONE'S life. 

I just think that open adoption is not black and white. Fifty MILLION shades of grey. It can work beautifully for some. It could be a nightmare for others. It could be a decent option for still others, with many bumps in the road and struggles to navigate it. I knew someone who did an open adoption with the baby of some old friends, who had (sadly) gotten into drugs. The adoptive mother was super close to the birth mother during the pregnancy, took real good care of her. Afterwards they were all close and involved and it was pretty cool. Birth mother was clean, living in a halfway house of sorts, saw the baby regularly, was trying to get back on track. But then she ended up falling off the wagon and stole from the adoptive parents (and some other things I won't get into). They cut things off for good. Sure, people can change and deserve second (third? fourth? I don't know) chances....but when it comes to your kid, do you risk it? The ups and downs? The ins and outs of your life? 

I don't know. I just don't think there are any simple answers. B&T seem like reasonable people, who are honestly just trying to do right by their kid. And, frankly, C&T often seem like they're more interested in TALKING about Carly than they are actually being in her life. 

[SPLAIN]

1 hour ago, RealityMyArse said:

I assume your child and your own life was not part of a reality tv program? Because your scenario and B&T's scenario are different because of the publicity surrounding their child. Did you have your birth mother's "fans", family, or friends go find out where you live and threaten you? Did you have complete strangers contact you and demand you give your child back to Jenny and say your child is not your child?

You assume correctly: there was very little publicity surrounding our adoption, though there was a little at the beginning, and a little along the way (different story for a different day). B&T absolutely HAD to know that with Carly would come an incredible amount of baggage: Bethany had to have discussed it with them, and MTV would have been required to get release forms from them. And let's not gloss over the fact that I'm sure that B&T received certain sums of money "for their trouble" (wink wink nudge nudge). B&T were quite visibly breathless during their early meetings with a pregnant Cate and Tyler: I think they would have said just about anything to be Carly's adoptive parents. Teresa: "Goodbye doesn't mean goodbye....it just means see you later" . I'm sure B&T may have endured a lot from "fans", but there is a hell of a lot of real estate between supervised visits every year and cutting off contact altogether. Whatever the circumstances, I'm absolutely certain that Carly will miss out on something very important in her life by no longer having contact with Cate and Tyler. Not to mention that B&T are just delaying the inevitable: Carly WILL eventually reach 18, and she will most likely want to re-establish ties with C&T. And what could have been a smooth, continuous relationship with everyone involved will turn out to be probably something that will send everyone to their respective therapists. So sad.

I was part of an open adoption. I was adopted. I am so grateful to not have any contact with the people who gave me up. They are not my parents. I don't need to see them and if they expected me to go find them when I hit 18 years of age? Sorry. Did not happen. I owe them nothing but my gratitude for giving me up to people who had the stability, financial comfort, and all the love and patience in the world to actually do the work of being a parent and raising me. As to the bolded part (mine), there is no proof whatsoever that will occur. Adoption is different for everyone. As it worked out for you and for me, doesn't mean it works well for others.

B&T adopted Carly before there ever was a Teen Mom show. What they signed up for was a one time program called 16 & Pregnant. They did not have crystal balls to tell them what was going to happen down the road. When MTV and TM did begin, the few moments we saw B&T and Carly, were meant to show the public the success of the adoption and hopefully the success of C&T as they continue with their lives as they entered college, which we know didn't happen. It was also a PSA for adoption, and of course, publicity for Bethany who likely garnered the most out of all of this.

As for what has transpired between B&T and C&T, no one actually knows the fine details. We are going strictly by what C&T are saying and frankly, when it comes to two broken down losers who can't stay away from their bongs and have no jobs, and Cate who lies on a regular basis, their credibility is shot as far as I am concerned. I don't take what they say as the truth. For all we know B&T may have restricted the visits to occur at a time when Carly is much older. Has it occurred to anyone that Carly may be going through some struggles and is having a hard time dealing with the whole situation? If so, her parents may be putting her concerns first. Imagine that. Parents are actually doing their job and actually putting a child's needs first. That is something we don't see with any of these girls on this show.

Catelynn has shown some questionable behavior on camera. What the hell is going on when there are no cameras? If she is having mental break-downs and demanding to see Carly because she might go bonkers or harm herself, that is a reason to not expose one's child to that person. Cate has mentioned life is better off without her, indicating some suicidal thoughts. Is she mentioning these things to Theresa in phone calls? Texts? Is Cate being pushy and demanding? Tyler has shown to be very demanding when it comes to Carly. C&T sometimes act like a tag team when they get upset and start talking about Carly as if she belongs to them.

Sorry, I can't fathom why the parents of a minor child are being questioned as to the choice they make for that child.  If only the likes of Farrah and Amber would take note and realize that you can't just have your children around people and not be concerned about who they are being exposed to and their over all well-being.

Edited November 18, 2016 by SPLAIN

[Court]

I wouldn't allow my kidd around Cate, birth mother or not.

[ReadMeLattice]

Thank you @SPLAIN for your perspective. 

I also think two things... 1) I'm not sure why people think Teresa DIDN'T tell Cate. We saw her take a phone call, for goodness' sake, and saw a year of TV of the two of them saying that if they didn't stop talking about Carly and B&T on camera or posting pictures of their child, visits would be slowed or stopped. We've seen it, so we know that happened a lot more behind the scenes. So I'm not sure why some think Cate was blindsided...it's been months, maybe years, of this crap. Explicitly stated to them. 

2) If anything it seems like B&T got tricked or the raw end of the deal. I don't think they 'won' at all. Like @SPLAIN said, they signed up for one little documentary, basically a PSA for adoption. I'm sure they thought they'd show the meetings, the birth, a few talking heads of why adoption was hard but beneficial, a little of the bittersweet aftermath, and then maybe some occasional updates with high school and college graduations, a few shots of Carly thriving and Cate and Tyler married and happy. Cate and Tyler were at the time cute teens from broken families who had been abused and misguided. They got pregnant, then their baby was adopted out so they could get jobs, become stable, get married, go to college and have careers their families would only have dreamed of. How could B&T have guessed that they'd become celebrity obsessed, materialistic adults with another kid, multiple breakups, a decade of 3 different reality shows, fancy cars, no college, no jobs, major mental problems and an inability to keep basic rules? That's not what they signed up for when they thought, "let's help ourselves but also a baby and two unfortunate kids." 

Edited November 19, 2016 by Lm2162

[WhosThatGirl]

8 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

Thank you @SPLAIN for your perspective. 

I also think two things... 1) I'm not sure why people think Teresa DIDN'T tell Cate. We saw her take a phone call, for goodness' sake, and saw a year of TV of the two of them saying that if they didn't stop talking about Carly and B&T on camera or posting pictures of their child, visits would be slowed or stopped. We've seen it, so we know that happened a lot more behind the scenes. So I'm not sure why some think Cate was blindsided...it's been months, maybe years, of this crap. Explicitly stated to them. 

2) If anything it seems like B&T got tricked or the raw end of the deal. I don't think they 'won' at all. Like @SPLAIN said, they signed up for one little documentary, basically a PSA for adoption. I'm sure they thought they'd show the meetings, the birth, a few talking heads of why adoption was hard but beneficial, a little of the bittersweet aftermath, and then maybe some occasional updates with high school and college graduations, a few shots of Carly thriving and Cate and Tyler married and happy. Cate and Tyler were at the time cute teens from broken families who had been abused and misguided. They got pregnant, then their baby was adopted out so they could get jobs, become stable, get married, go to college and have careers their families would only have dreamed of. How could B&T have guessed that they'd become celebrity obsessed, materialistic adults with another kid, multiple breakups, a decade of 3 different reality shows, fancy cars, no college, no jobs, major mental problems and an inability to keep basic rules? That's not what they signed up for when they thought, "let's help ourselves but also a baby and two unfortunate kids." 

You are right. This post is everything. Teresa did warn Cate.  And yes, B&T didn't expect this. No one did. And then it became a phenomenon. The fact that the show kept going on was one thing and B&T both kept going on with the visits. I think they thought something was going to change for Catelynn and Tyler. They probably assumed  Cate and Tyler would..do something with their lives. And I think they thought this show would have..an ending point, which apparently isn't going to be happening anytime soon and because of this, Brandon and Teresa kept getting thrown into a reality celeb life that they don't want. And they asked for simple things. No pictures or videos on social media accounts and they would like Carly to be kept out of the spotlight. Like I've said, I think Catelynn understood, remember Tyler was mad she was understandable about the whole thing. Another thing that has always bugged me was when T&B and Carly were at the wedding, they asked for Butch not to interact with Carly. And Butch went right up to her and started talking to her. There wasn't even a mistaken Carly ran over to him, Butch walked over to her. I thought that was incredibly disrespectful. 

[Yolo]

I think the show is turning into garbage and MTV would show any and everything just to boost ratings. WHAT ARE SOME POSITIVE TAKEAWAYS A TEEN MOM WATCHING THIS SHOW REALLY GETTING OUT OF IT THESE DAYS!?

Edited November 19, 2016 by Yolo

[ReadMeLattice]

@WhosThatGirl and called himself her grandfather!!! The fact that B&T even answered a text from C&T ever again after that shows they are essentially angels. 

Edited November 19, 2016 by Lm2162

[WhosThatGirl]

1 hour ago, Lm2162 said:

@WhosThatGirl and called himself her grandfather!!! The fact that B&T even answered a text from C&T ever again after that shows they are essentially angels. 

I totally forgot he did that! I just remember when Tyler said B&T don't want you to meet Carly and Butch said okay but said if she runs over he's going to say hello. But she didn't run over at all to him. They were on different sides of the area and he walked over to her. I think he saw that B&T were allowing Carly to talk to April and he got mad about that.

[GreatKazu]

I think it is ridiculous to question what any parent does for the well-being of their child. It is not a case of abuse or neglect. It is two parents who have NO LEGAL OBLIGATION to even have these visits with Catelynn and Tyler. It is at their discretion. They don't have to have a reason to stop the visits, but we know they do as we have watched with our own eyes that C&T and the rest of the Bacteria clan cannot keep their mouths shut nor can they accept any boundaries that have been set forth. It is not at all hard to imagine why they can't accept boundaries. This is a family of addicts. Addicts don't do well with following rules or having any boundaries. Suddenly, here you have two adult people telling them to please not do A, B, and C. That is a foreign concept to these yahoos.

[RealityMyArse]

  On 11/17/2016 at 8:14 AM, FawnLeibowitz said:

What they need is a petition to stop this show entirely.

I agree with you fawn wholeheartedly the show is trash now, but if it has to be someone I would love for it to be Farrah's funny looking self!!!

I feel the most sorry for poor Sophia, girl most likely to be a second generation Teen Mom.

[RealityMyArse]

  23 hours ago, RealityMyArse said:

I assume your child and your own life was not part of a reality tv program? Because your scenario and B&T's scenario are different because of the publicity surrounding their child. Did you have your birth mother's "fans", family, or friends go find out where you live and threaten you? Did you have complete strangers contact you and demand you give your child back to Jenny and say your child is not your child?

You assume correctly: there was very little publicity surrounding our adoption, though there was a little at the beginning, and a little along the way (different story for a different day). B&T absolutely HAD to know that with Carly would come an incredible amount of baggage: Bethany had to have discussed it with them, and MTV would have been required to get release forms from them. And let's not gloss over the fact that I'm sure that B&T received certain sums of money "for their trouble" (wink wink nudge nudge). B&T were quite visibly breathless during their early meetings with a pregnant Cate and Tyler: I think they would have said just about anything to be Carly's adoptive parents. Teresa: "Goodbye doesn't mean goodbye....it just means see you later" . I'm sure B&T may have endured a lot from "fans", but there is a hell of a lot of real estate between supervised visits every year and cutting off contact altogether. Whatever the circumstances, I'm absolutely certain that Carly will miss out on something very important in her life by no longer having contact with Cate and Tyler. Not to mention that B&T are just delaying the inevitable: Carly WILL eventually reach 18, and she will most likely want to re-establish ties with C&T. And what could have been a smooth, continuous relationship with everyone involved will turn out to be probably something that will send everyone to their respective therapists. So sad.

I was part of an open adoption. I was adopted. I am so grateful to not have any contact with the people who gave me up. They are not my parents. I don't need to see them and if they expected me to go find them when I hit 18 years of age? Sorry. Did not happen. I owe them nothing but my gratitude for giving me up to people who had the stability, financial comfort, and all the love and patience in the world to actually do the work of being a parent and raising me. As to the bolded part (mine), there is no proof whatsoever that will occur. Adoption is different for everyone. As it worked out for you and for me, doesn't mean it works well for others.

B&T adopted Carly before there ever was a Teen Mom show. What they signed up for was a one time program called 16 & Pregnant. They did not have crystal balls to tell them what was going to happen down the road. When MTV and TM did begin, the few moments we saw B&T and Carly, were meant to show the public the success of the adoption and hopefully the success of C&T as they continue with their lives as they entered college, which we know didn't happen. It was also a PSA for adoption, and of course, publicity for Bethany who likely garnered the most out of all of this.

As for what has transpired between B&T and C&T, no one actually knows the fine details. We are going strictly by what C&T are saying and frankly, when it comes to two broken down losers who can't stay away from their bongs and have no jobs, and Cate who lies on a regular basis, their credibility is shot as far as I am concerned. I don't take what they say as the truth. For all we know B&T may have restricted the visits to occur at a time when Carly is much older. Has it occurred to anyone that Carly may be going through some struggles and is having a hard time dealing with the whole situation? If so, her parents may be putting her concerns first. Imagine that. Parents are actually doing their job and actually putting a child's needs first. That is something we don't see with any of these girls on this show.

Catelynn has shown some questionable behavior on camera. What the hell is going on when there are no cameras? If she is having mental break-downs and demanding to see Carly because she might go bonkers or harm herself, that is a reason to not expose one's child to that person. Cate has mentioned life is better off without her, indicating some suicidal thoughts. Is she mentioning these things to Theresa in phone calls? Texts? Is Cate being pushy and demanding? Tyler has shown to be very demanding when it comes to Carly. C&T sometimes act like a tag team when they get upset and start talking about Carly as if she belongs to them.

Sorry, I can't fathom why the parents of a minor child are being questioned as to the choice they make for that child.  If only the likes of Farrah and Amber would take note and realize that you can't just have your children around people and not be concerned about who they are being exposed to and their over all well-being.

Yes, we don't know the entire story. Apparently it wasn't too terrible of an experience: B&T chose to do it at least one more time as they have at least one more adopted child. Also I'm not saying that our journey didn't have some challenges along the way, because it certainly did, and in fact it still does, since everyone involved in our journey are all flawed human beings. I'm just saying that, however flawed they are, people generally speaking are better off having some sort of contact with their biological parents (there are, of course, exceptions), and biological parents benefit from having contact of some type with their biological children. Life's just better when we are kind to one another.

Then we have the glaring exception of Farrah.....

[DangerousMinds]

I was adopted as an infant and was always aware if was adopted, but at 18 i certainly wasn't giving it ANY thought whatsoever. None.

[SPLAIN]

So true Dangerous Minds. In fact, the only times I was reminded I was adopted was when was asked about my medical history. Growing up, I mentioned being adopted to friends of mine. After they asked me questions and I answered them, the topic never came up again. The feeling of being loved and wanted by my parents, and me loving them came so natural as it would for any child who was born unto their parents.

I would have hated to have had any connection with the people who gave me up.  I thank them all the time in my heart for having the foresight to give me up and hand me over to such a wonderful family. I was truly blessed.

Quote

Life's just better when we are kind to one another.

People can be kind from afar. My bio parents were kind enough to not try and pry into my life or seek some sort of visitation.

[ReadMeLattice]

21 hours ago, RealityMyArse said:

I feel the most sorry for poor Sophia, girl most likely to be a second generation Teen Mom.

I vote Leah's kids as most likely. 

[Rebecca]

This episode really was boring; I missed it when it aired and just watched it AFTER watching episode 13. When I watched episode 13 several days ago I didn't even notice I didn't see this previous episode. 

The only interesting thing to me was seeing Farrah interact like a normal person for an extended period of time with the Underwoods. Never knew she had it in her. Truly terrifying that she can appear normal. If they have never seen The Beast in person I wonder what they think when they see her (on the show) treat almost every other person in the hideous fashion she does? Do they think it's other people's faults? Do they recognize that she's nuts underneath and their position of "privilege" in not being treated like shit? Clearly that woman had no fear about being attacked by Farrah or she would've phrased the whole "don't forget Derrick" thing differently or not said it at all... It's intriguing. Why are they exempt? 

Edited November 20, 2016 by Rebecca

[Yolo]

1 hour ago, Rebecca said:

This episode really was boring; I missed it when it aired and just watched it AFTER watching episode 13. When I watched episode 13 several days ago I didn't even notice I didn't see this previous episode. 

The only interesting thing to me was seeing Farrah interact like a normal person for an extended period of time with the Underwoods. Never knew she had it in her. Truly terrifying that she can appear normal. If they have never seen The Beast in person I wonder what they think when they see her (on the show) treat almost every other person in the hideous fashion she does? Do they think it's other people's faults? Do they recognize that she's nuts underneath and their position of "privilege" in not being treated like shit? Clearly that woman had no fear about being attacked by Farrah or she would've phrased the whole "don't forget Derrick" thing differently or not said it at all... It's intriguing. Why are they exempt? 

Farrah does it with the people she's allowed to, from her parents even to the gutless MTV staff. Why is the mystery! She's the poke the bear type of chick, but wants to cry and then call the damn police when she gets the reaction that she provoked. As for dericks parents, either she knows she can't or she doesn't know them well enough to be the rude monster she is. I don't know if it's just me, but when she does seem "decent" It comes across forced and disingenuous. She needs some real help and not from MTV!!! SHE HAS A RUDE AWAKENING COMING WITH HER NAME ON IT! Now that they can televise, other than that take the skank and show off period.

Edited November 20, 2016 by Yolo

[GreatKazu]

C'mon now there is a method to Farrah's madness. Farrah doesn't act the shrew with Derrick's family because she needs them to showcase how much she and Derrick were the most loving couple ever to walk the face of this planet. With Farrah it is always the best, the worst, the most, the biggest (ask James Deen), nothing is ever mediocre. By having scenes with Derrick's family, she can continue this BS story about how much in love they were and how much they were meant to be. Farrah isn't going to cross paths with them (just yet) because she needs them. And that is what Farrah is all about - what she can get from people and how to use them.

Farrah gets away with it with her parents because she knows she has them where she wants them by threatening them they won't see Sophia ever again. When she screamed at Debra to not speak to Sophia in the last episode is just an example of how that poor kid is simultaneously used as a pawn and as a weapon: 

Farrah surely threatened this to Debra after she was kicked out or she moved out, depending on who you believe. This article mentions a letter Farrah received from Debra who wanted to save the relationship. I guess Debra had the backbone to kick her daughter out, but after not being allowed to see Sophia, it was too much to bear: 

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/farrah-abrahams-mom-debra-danielson-ends-their-feud-in-emotional-letter--2013304

Quote

Earlier this month, 21-year-old Abraham opted to move out of her mother's home after the two got into a major disagreement. When news of the sex tape first surfaced.

It was later revealed that Abraham had actually masterminded the tape, however, and Danielson summarily kicked her daughter out, though the Teen Mom star countered that she was leaving of her own volition.

"After meeting with my counselor today, I've packed up everything and I'm not talking to my mom anymore," she told TMZ. "My mother will never be a good mother to me and it is too hurtful to deal with let alone have my daughter Sophie around it."

 

Quote

 Now that they can televise, other than that take the skank and show off period.

@Yolo What makes Farrah a skank? 

Frankly, they all need to be taken down and this show needs to be put to rest.

Edited November 20, 2016 by GreatKazu

[ghoulina]

On 11/19/2016 at 1:36 PM, RealityMyArse said:

I'm just saying that, however flawed they are, people generally speaking are better off having some sort of contact with their biological parents (there are, of course, exceptions), and biological parents benefit from having contact of some type with their biological children. Life's just better when we are kind to one another.

I don't think it's benefitting Cate to have contact with Carly and her parents. I think it's made it harder for her to move on. It's like trying to be friends with an ex you still have very raw feelings about. Obviously I don't mean a literal comparison, as adoption is much different. But Cate has not been able to adjust. I don't think it's been healthy for her at all. Maybe if she was engaged in actual therapy from the get go. Maybe if they didn't do the show. But as it is right now, I only see the situation as causing her pain. She idolizes Carly and barely pays a lick of attention to the child she DID keep. 

 

17 hours ago, Yolo said:

As for dericks parents, either she knows she can't or she doesn't know them well enough to be the rude monster she is. I don't know if it's just me, but when she does seem "decent" It comes across forced and disingenuous.

It seems mimicked, to me. As if she is copying behavior she has seen from others. What she thinks "nice" is supposed to look like. I seriously think she's a sociopath and has no real idea on how to interact like a normal, functioning human being. I think she puts this mask on with Derrick's family because the visits let her continue her "poor single mother who lost the love of her life" storyline. If she wasn't on the show, I doubt she'd bother with them at all. 

Edited November 21, 2016 by ghoulina

[teapot]

On ‎11‎/‎20‎/‎2016 at 10:44 AM, Lm2162 said:

I vote Leah's kids as most likely. 

I think Jace will definitely be a teen dad.

[mamadrama]

On 11/19/2016 at 7:18 PM, SPLAIN said:

So true Dangerous Minds. In fact, the only times I was reminded I was adopted was when was asked about my medical history. Growing up, I mentioned being adopted to friends of mine. After they asked me questions and I answered them, the topic never came up again. The feeling of being loved and wanted by my parents, and me loving them came so natural as it would for any child who was born unto their parents.

I would have hated to have had any connection with the people who gave me up.  I thank them all the time in my heart for having the foresight to give me up and hand me over to such a wonderful family. I was truly blessed.

People can be kind from afar. My bio parents were kind enough to not try and pry into my life or seek some sort of visitation.

SPLAIN, I am feeling you on this.

I hesitated to throw my 2 cents in here but, eh, why not? I am not adopted. However, I was raised without my "real" dad. When I was around 14 I learned his name and got his medical history. That door is open if I ever want to walk through it. I am 37 and, honestly, it holds no curiosity for me. I have zero desire. All we saw on TV was Cate saying Teresa wasn't returning her calls and previously saying that they don't want her and T talking about things on camera. Anything beyond that is speculation. Leave that door open for CARLY to decide, Cate and Tyler. Move on with your lives. Then, when she is an adult, she can choose to move forward with a relationship or not. I absolutely do not believe she is missing out anything by them not being there for her at all times. She HAS parents. She doesn't need two sets. If, one day, she decides she does then she can pursue that as an adult. 

[mamadrama]

On 11/20/2016 at 4:07 PM, Yolo said:

 Now that they can televise, other than that take the skank and show off period.

I actually don't mind Farrah and the sex tape, and I think she's far from a "skank." She hasn't slept around much.  I would say not anymore than any other woman her age. She and Simon have been together for awhile-probably as long as Maci and Taylor. (And Maci has been in more on-air relationships than Farrah.) I  mean, sure Farrah is kind of a miserable human being in the way she talks to people, but in some ways I don't see her as any worse than the others.  I don't know why she should get kicked off for her hatefulness when Amber didn't get kicked off for abusing Gary or Adumb for being a dick to Chelsea. Leah getting high and neglecting her kids during filming. As for the sex tape? I totally don't care. Porn is a business. Granted, not one that I would care to be a part of, but it's still a business. So Farrah flaunted her coochie in front of the world and got money for it; the rest of the cast has flaunted their problems and children in front of the world and they're getting money for THAT. I guess I figure that, you know, at least she's working. Again, I don't "get" that kind of business but when I weigh Farrah's hustle to the other end of the spectrum (sitting around on a couch all day) it's the ONE thing I can't fault her for. She DOES try. 

[iwasish]

On 11/15/2016 at 8:26 PM, GreatKazu said:

Yes, fully aware of what Tyler was saying in Cate's ear.  I also remember the many times Cate mentioned how she was happy with the decision she made by going with adoption. Well of course, doing so allowed her and Tyler to be paid by Bethany as spokespersons along with the free trips and perks. Since the adoption was open there was the idea she never really gave up her child since they had access to her to a degree.  The false idea that somehow Carly was in a temporary place and someday she would be in Cate's arms, was just enough to keep Cate content.  What she is really regretting is, having given away Carly not knowing just two short months later she and Tyler would be signed to MTV where they would "earn" the kind of money that would have allowed them to care for Carly. It doesn't matter that they lack any parenting skills, in their eyes money is all that is needed to care for a child. And a willing grandparent who will take that child for five days out of the week. 

 

Someone else had mentioned this back when that episode aired. lol

I've read that MTV only signed them because they were  going to put their baby up for adoption. They had plenty of other couples  who were keeping the baby and the various dynamics of those relationships,  an adoption was the one situation that was missing. I don't think they thought that C and T would be more than a one season part of the show. But they were the break out stars, people rooted for them. So ironically giving up their kid gave them what they lacked to keep her and I think that is what weighs on Cate. I don't think the money alone was enough of a factor for TYler. He didn't want the responsibility. 

[GreatKazu]

37 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I actually don't mind Farrah and the sex tape, and I think she's far from a "skank." She hasn't slept around much.  I would say not anymore than any other woman her age. She and Simon have been together for awhile-probably as long as Maci and Taylor. (And Maci has been in more on-air relationships than Farrah.) I  mean, sure Farrah is kind of a miserable human being in the way she talks to people, but in some ways I don't see her as any worse than the others.  I don't know why she should get kicked off for her hatefulness when Amber didn't get kicked off for abusing Gary or Adumb for being a dick to Chelsea. Leah getting high and neglecting her kids during filming. As for the sex tape? I totally don't care. Porn is a business. Granted, not one that I would care to be a part of, but it's still a business. So Farrah flaunted her coochie in front of the world and got money for it; the rest of the cast has flaunted their problems and children in front of the world and they're getting money for THAT. I guess I figure that, you know, at least she's working. Again, I don't "get" that kind of business but when I weigh Farrah's hustle to the other end of the spectrum (sitting around on a couch all day) it's the ONE thing I can't fault her for. She DOES try. 

So much word to this post and your other one about Carly not needing two sets of parents.

I am not sure what the reference to Farrah being a skank is all about, which is why I asked, but if it has to do with the sex tape, I can't get behind that thinking. Why exactly does that make her a skank vs. the other girls who have been in and out of the sack with numerous guys? What about the guys? They have been in relationships with other females beyond the girls from the show. Look at Matt, for god's sake. How much of his sperm has he dropped all over the country? Effing gross. He was the one chasing Farrah and Jenelle, and only latched onto Amber because she is so fucking stupid, gross, and has no self-worth.

 

Quote

I don't think the money alone was enough of a factor for TYler. He didn't want the responsibility. 

@iwasish Of course he didn't. He also didn't want a reason to have to marry her. That is why I mentioned only Cate being the one who was having regrets because of the MTV money that she was earning.

Quote

I've read that MTV only signed them because they were  going to put their baby up for adoption.

I am sure that was the reason they were chosen for filming 16 & Pregnant, but there was no guarantee Catelynn would go through with the adoption during filming.  The idea for Teen Mom came shortly after the airing of 16 & Pregnant because of the high ratings.

[Yolo]

Ok people let me just say this, I called farrah a skank simply because i don't care for her, not because of her sex tape. Yes the other girls have their faults, yes some are no better than the other, in no way shape or form does this show serve as a form of positivity to the viewer, especially a teen mom. Farrah is the one I just don't care for on the show. PERIOD!!! the one positive I can say regarding her is, she's not one of the lazy ones on the show. She's rude and disrespectful, it's becoming hard to even watch her parts. Just my opinion. They can take the show off in its entirety at this point.

Edited November 22, 2016 by Yolo

[Katt]

17 hours ago, iwasish said:

I've read that MTV only signed them because they were  going to put their baby up for adoption.

I think the drama April and Butch brought had a lot to do with it, too.

I thought "skank" was just a generalized insult, actually. I can't hate Farrah for some reason.

[Yolo]

13 hours ago, Katt said:

I think the drama April and Butch brought had a lot to do with it, too.

I thought "skank" was just a generalized insult, actually. I can't hate Farrah for some reason.

It really is a generalized insult katt. I'm glad you get where I was coming from. Lol

[hatchetgirl]

I thought on 16aP, she and MTV portrayed Derrick as a good for nothing jerk who left her for being  pregnant and then died.  our5 am I thinking of an after-school special? 

[EmeraldGirl]

He was portrayed as controlling and possibly abusive. He was rather icky with her on the phone, so I tend to believe it. Debra seemed only interested in having nothing to do with his lower class family. Extremely insensitive when the poor young man died. 

Farrah wouldn't be the first one to romanticize the dead. She seems so desperate for marriage. I think she still imagines that she and Derek could have been the perfect nuclear family and she wouldn't have had to turn into such a manic hustler. It's the one think I don't blame her for - the projecting of how life with Derek would have been. Poor kid was only 18. 

[Cabarb]

Am I remembering correctly that she didn't tell Derek that she was pregnant? For some reason I keep thinking that he does not knowing he had a baby on the way. Did I dream that?

[Brooklynista]

10 hours ago, Cabarb said:

Am I remembering correctly that she didn't tell Derek that she was pregnant? For some reason I keep thinking that he does not knowing he had a baby on the way. Did I dream that?

Yup. Farrah and Debra decided Derek wasn't worthy of going to heaven with them and decided to hide the pregnancy from him. He heard rumors around school, called Farrah and she denied being pregnant. 

It's what has us all confused about the current Daddy Derek love for the ages story so confusing . 

[Court]

Thanks Google for refreshing my memory. Derek's mom wanted visitation rights but did not win in court. She didn't know until she watched 16&p that Sophia might be Derek's. A paternity test was done.

The Daddy Derek trip was Derek's father and stepfamily. Derek's mom, sister(s) aren't allowed to see Sophia at all.

Edited December 12, 2016 by Court
I was confused

[GreatKazu]

Wasn't the paternity test done because Farrah was seeking SS benefits for Sophia?  That is when Derek's sister agreed to be swabbed for the test.