GH Quotes: Even Bad Writers Hit Upon Good Ones

[ch1]

This is from the preview so I'll spoiler it:

 

Sonny: I love you very much.

Michael: Its worth nothing.

 

And the church said Amen.  Truer words have never been spoken.

[SlovakPrincess]

Since I'm currently obsessed with watching old school GH online, this is from 1981:

Luke (upon running into Robert on a date with Laura): Well, isn't it a small world?

Robert: Oh, it's about average-size, I'd say.

They just have some very random but funny exchanges.

And as much as Luke annoys me, it is kind of funny when he gets jealous and calls Robert "son of a koala bear."

[DollEyes]

At long last, the line I've waited over 20 years to hear:

 

Michael, to Lord Larry Ashton: "My name is Michael Quartermaine."

 

Edward, Lila, Alan and AJ (especially AJ) are smiling in Heaven.

Edited November 18, 2014 by DollEyes

[Jalyn]

I don't have it exact, but it was better than that:

 

"Don't call me Corinthos. Call me by my real name, the name my father gave me, the name I should have always had. Call me Michael Quartermaine."

[GHScorpiosRule]

Because this episode was in me head, and I actually skimmed through and watched the most important and worth watching scenes*, these two lines made me grin like a five year old who has seen Santa for the very first time, and then cursed most vilely against the douchenozzles who run this show:

 

December 23, 2013:

 

Robin to Robert, when he's describing the one present Emma can open and why it's so special...

 

Robin: "You didgerididn't..."

 

Robert: "I didgeriDID!"

 

Me: Awwww, hee! snerk!

[Ambrosefolly]

Tracy to Dr. O:  My family practically own this hospital.  You just rent it.
 

[SlovakPrincess]

Just in case you thought only current GH had ridiculous dialogue, here's this dramatic exchange from a 1981 episode, delivered by the actors with complete soap opera seriousness:

 

Ruby: You mean she's still totally blind?

Day player Doctor:  Well, she has no vision. In either eye.

 

* Dead.  It was like a Dr. Drake Remoray line ...

Edited February 10, 2015 by SlovakPrincess

[HeatLifer]

"I don't want to come across as an ass...." -Patrick Drake

HE ALWAYS DOES, THOUGH.

[DollEyes]

Bumping it up with some of the gems from Dante to Morgan & Kiki, aka "The Bimbo Twins," re their crimes against Michael & L'il AJ. First, after arresting them at Silas' apartment: "You know, Morgan, you might want to pay extra special attention to the part where you keep your mouth shut." & "Unfortunately, in the real world, Morgan, you can't whine your way out of the consequences."

 

After Dante took the Bimbos to the police station: "Get comfy,"  "What do you want, Morgan, coffee? You want a latte', little brother? You want a pillow for your entitled ass?"

Morgan: "What's your problem?"

Dante: "You wanna know what my problem is? I'm arresting one brother for drugging another! On top of that, I'm not too crazy about the fact that you're a suspect in our little sister's kidnapping! Does that sufficiently explain my mood to you? You know, just be quiet, just shut up."

[SlovakPrincess]

Dante ... the last hold out from character destruction and/or being turned into a stupid non-entity.   Stay strong, buddy!   <3

Edited May 2, 2015 by SlovakPrincess

[dubbel zout]

"Unfortunately, in the real world, Morgan, you can't whine your way out of the consequences."

 

This is my favorite quote from the past few years. Awesome Writer was obviously unchained to slip it in.

Edited May 2, 2015 by dubbel zout

[DollEyes]

Morgan ( to Michael, about L'il AJ): "You're using her as leverage, Michael. If Ava knew, shed be rolling in her grave."

Michael: "Oh, please. That whore would roll an anything, with anyone. Just ask my father's crypt--" (Morgan attacks him)

[HeatLifer]

Liz: Jake, I have to tell you something.

*commercial break*

That's my favorite.

[Chairperson Meow]

I really liked from Monday:

Monica (talking to Jason about Jason's accident): Well, he got into his brother's car and that accident was the last day I saw Jason Quartermaine.

(Earlier in the scene)

Jason/Jake to Monica: I've heard a lot about Jason Morgan, but I haven't heard anything about Jason Quartermaine.

Monica: And you won't.

Jason/Jake: Well, why don't you tell me?

So much foreshadowing, so much feels!

[cmahorror]

Going back a few years - from when Jerry had Robin and she was watching Ben (aka Rocco). Obrecht and Faison had taken him back and Jerry didn't know Faison was there yet.

 

Jerry: What have you done with the baby Robin?

 

Robin: He, uh, made a break for it through the air vent. I tried to stop him but he overpowered me.

[HeatLifer]

Patrick: Hayden's waking up.

Sam: Are you sure? This isn't just a spike in her vitals?

I can't stop laughing at this exchange. Like Sam of all people questioning a supposed superstar neurosurgeon. Then again, he didn't know he wasn't operating on Little Jake and he almost killed a young adult, so his career has taken a hit.

[tvgoddess]

That one made me laugh too, I was like when did Sam suddenly get a medical degree? 

[DollEyes]

While I've never had much use for Silas before, his most recent confrontations with DenAva & Morgan, in SilasWithoutPity mode, were hilarious:

 

Silas, to Morgan, after catching him & DenAva in bed: "What are you gonna say? 'It's not what it looks like?' Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're cheating on my daughter."

 

Morgan, to Silas: "The last thing I want to do is hurt Kiki."

Silas: "Then you never should have gotten back together with her! You never should have claimed to care about her! You never should have asked her to trust you when you are so clearly unworthy of that trust! You are a selfish, shallow, horny little brat and you deserve to be screwed over the way you're screwing my daughter!"

 

Silas, to Ava: "I'm gonna tell Kiki everything-how you abandoned her to save your own skin & then turned around & screwed her boyfriend."

 

As great as live Silas was at putting Ava on blast, Ghost!Silas is even better, as shown by this quote:

 

Ghost!Silas, to Ava, during his memorial: "I'll bet you're wondering, 'How can I get Morgan's pants off right here in the chapel?'"

Edited August 15, 2015 by DollEyes

[cmahorror]

From back in 2008 when Robin was pregnant and everyone was trying to get her to give Patrick a chance to be apart of her and the baby's life:

 

 

Robin: Why would I want to marry a man that doesn't want to marry me?

 

Anna: Honey, don't say that. That's just too painful for you.

 

Robin: You know what would be painful? Actually marrying him -- excruciating.

 

Anna: Ok, this is what I'm hearing, Robin. It's all very rational and sensible, but I don't believe a word of it, I really don'T.

 

Robin: Ok, fine. Let's say that we give it a go and we make the effort, and then the baby's born. All of a sudden reality sets in. Patrick's complaining because he's not getting enough sleep and he's allergic to the baby powder, and then he has to work late, so he's sleeping in the on-call room. He's starting to feel stifled, but he doesn't want to actually tell me about it. Then I'll start to worry where he is in the evenings, one drink will turn into two at Jakes. Oh, and then there's this hot young thing playing pool and -- well, old habits die hard, mom. Before my baby even turns one, the father of the child will be cheating on me, and then I'll be bitter and angry. I mean, are we having fun yet?

 

 

You know what's funny - except for the timeline (it took almost 2 years, not one) Robin was right. He was feeling stifled, neglected and sorry for himself and slept with another woman. I would love to give the writers credit for foreshadowing but...

Edited August 19, 2015 by cmahorror

[HeatLifer]

Ooh! That's a good one. I love doing stuff like this. I posted this awhile ago, but this is my fave line about Patrick because it's really who he became.

Patrick: I know how I feel. Robin is the only one for me.

Lisa: Until the next one comes along.

[cmahorror]

From the very end of that conversation with Lisa - truer words man, even coming from the mouth of a psychopath.

 

Lisa: ...it doesn't change who you are at your core. You may love Robin, and I actually--I believe that you do. But you're still gonna lose her. You're not gonna be able not to.

[SlovakPrincess]

Kindly stop with the Lisa quotes. You're only reminding me that the Lisa mess was Shakespeare compared to the last few years of writing ... ; )

[Tiger]

Kindly stop with the Lisa quotes. You're only reminding me that the Lisa mess was Shakespeare compared to the last few years of writing ... ; )

Ah 2011, when literally nothing happened for weeks at a time and HIV-infected blood was used as a weapon . . . Good times!!!

Edited August 24, 2015 by Tiger

[cmahorror]

I was watching old clips and had to laugh when I heard this.

 

Mac: I did't realize you were invited. That's great - you can come with us.

 

Robin: I'm going with Nikolas Cassadine.

 

Mac: Remind me to talk to you about your taste in men one of these days.

[DollEyes]

Hayden to Liz: "If I wanted your professional opinion, I'd give you a bedpan."

[SlovakPrincess]

Just saw this in an '83 episode, and it cracked me up:

 

"That's funny, you don't look like a misogynist - a man who hates women."   

 

Thanks for explaining words to us, 1983 writers!   I guess they didn't think the audience knew what that word meant?  

[HeatLifer]

Patrick: Before I met you...I hardly even remember then...the most important thing in my life was being the best surgeon. I thought I knew all the answers. You showed me that I didn't even know the questions. But now I know the answer. Robin, you're the answer. To everything. I love you. And I need you. And our daughter needs you. So you have to live.

CRYING AGAIN!!!

But it's OK 'cause they're happy and together and at the beach or something.

[Tiger]

Just saw this in an '83 episode, and it cracked me up:

"That's funny, you don't look like a misogynist - a man who hates women."

Thanks for explaining words to us, 1983 writers! I guess they didn't think the audience knew what that word meant?

This is funny because I saw this new Progressive commercial this morning that filmed 1950's style with the announcer treating Flo like a little wimmins. I feel like the producers and writers of this show see that commercial and when the announcer says "woman dont have jobs; where is your husband", they say "exactly!".

[Chairperson Meow]

Probably a fav quote from 2015:

Carly (to Morgan ): "No body wants Kiki!"

[HeatLifer]

Patrick: You live to contradict me, don't you?

Robin: You love it!

Patrick: You're right. I love you.

Scrubs in a nutshell. <3

[HeatLifer]

Patrick: You, me, and Emma. That's all I need.

I just realized Patrick said some variation of the above many, many times throughout his years on the show. I'm assuming it's a cute coincidence that it was also one of his last lines ("I got everything I need") bc I don't think the writers are that smart to have remembered the other instances, lol.

[One Tough Cookie]

Morgan ( to Michael, about L'il AJ): "You're using her as leverage, Michael. If Ava knew, shed be rolling in her grave."

Michael: "Oh, please. That whore would roll an anything, with anyone. Just ask my father's crypt--" (Morgan attacks him)

 

 

sigh, sob.

I so miss Michael Without Pity.

[HeatLifer]

Still stuck in the '90s and found this gem!

Sonny: He took no responsibility! You kill someone, you maim someone, you're supposed to acknowledge that. Not pretend it never happened.

[Melgaypet]

Sonny's moral indignation is always hilarious/infuriating. Hilariating! Who was he talking about, btw?

It makes me feel like a little like a bad person, and Mary Beth Evans is actually a beautiful woman, but Helena referring to Katherine Bell as a "bovine tramp" will always give me joy.

ETA: I, too, have been stuck in the 90's, also known as When Nikolas Wasn't the Worst. I think the wry delivery made this line sing.

Nikolas: [Stefan] and I don't fight. We discuss what he expects and what I have no intention of doing.

Edited August 7, 2016 by Melgaypet

[dubbel zout]

18 minutes ago, Melgaypet said:

Sonny's moral indignation is always hilarious/infuriating. Hilariating!

I know. Of everyone, I think he's the worst hypocrite. He's the only one who can bend/ignore/rewrite the rules.

[HeatLifer]

41 minutes ago, Melgaypet said:

Sonny's moral indignation is always hilarious/infuriating. Hilariating! Who was he talking about, btw?

It makes me feel like a little like a bad person, and Mary Beth Evans is actually a beautiful woman, but Helena referring to Katherine Bell as a "bovine tramp" will always give me joy.

ETA: I, too, have been stuck in the 90's, also known as When Nikolas Wasn't the Worst. I think the wry delivery made this line sing.

Nikolas: [Stefan] and I don't fight. We discuss what he expects and what I have no intention of doing.

Sonny was talking about Jax (and Miranda).

I'm addicted to '90s GH. I'm glad I'm not alone!

[Chairperson Meow]

2 hours ago, HeatLifer said:

Still stuck in the '90s and found this gem!

Sonny: He took no responsibility! You kill someone, you maim someone, you're supposed to acknowledge that. Not pretend it never happened.

That reminds me of how much this show blows now.

[Tiger]

Im still ride or die for 90's GH.

And my favorite Sonny quote will always be "i'll die before I let you make Carly a widow".

[ulkis]

4 hours ago, Melgaypet said:

Sonny's moral indignation is always hilarious/infuriating. Hilariating! Who was he talking about, btw?

It makes me feel like a little like a bad person, and Mary Beth Evans is actually a beautiful woman, but Helena referring to Katherine Bell as a "bovine tramp" will always give me joy.

ETA: I, too, have been stuck in the 90's, also known as When Nikolas Wasn't the Worst. I think the wry delivery made this line sing.

Nikolas: [Stefan] and I don't fight. We discuss what he expects and what I have no intention of doing.

Katherine was the worst, no worres. ;) Anyway, I don't think that was an insult towards Katherine's looks, but her brains.

Love that Nikolas line.

Here's one off the top of my head - when Alexis wanted Nikolas and Stefan to dress in something not black so they'd be more relatable to the jury:

Stefan: Well why not a hard hat and overalls while we're at it?

Edited August 8, 2016 by ulkis

[Chairperson Meow]

14 hours ago, Tiger said:

Im still ride or die for 90's GH.

And my favorite Sonny quote will always be "i'll die before I let you make Carly a widow".

That still makes me laugh.

[HeatLifer]

Carly: I would give my life right now just to know my baby was safe.

Bobbie: Oh, well, there's another reason to hope we find him quicker!

Me: http://giphy.com/gifs/steveharveytv-lol-laugh-steve-harvey-l41m5DT1t77WKO22I

Edited August 11, 2016 by HeatLifer

[Chairperson Meow]

13 hours ago, HeatLifer said:

Carly: I would give my life right now just to know my baby was safe.

Bobbie: Oh, well, there's another reason to hope we find him quicker!

Me: http://giphy.com/gifs/steveharveytv-lol-laugh-steve-harvey-l41m5DT1t77WKO22I

Dammit Michael.  

[HeatLifer]

1 hour ago, Chairperson Meow said:

Dammit Michael.  

Michael is a show ruiner.

[Chairperson Meow]

4 hours ago, HeatLifer said:

Michael is a show ruiner.

Well, he's not Franco or Nina.  Or Sabrina.  He's just wallpaper now.  

[Harmony233]

Speaking of Katherine was watching old port Charles eps and Lucy and Katherine are trapped in an elevator.Lucy making fun of Katherine's realtionship with Nik.

lucy:should we stop at pediatrics so you can find you a new boyfriend?

[HeatLifer]

Jax on Jason: Can't wait for the day he's nothing to any of us.

*And we're all still waiting*

[Tiger]

Magda's lone positive contribution to show, when talking about see Sigh-less somewhere:

"I recognized that sneer from across the street."

[ulkis]

Donna Mills actually had a lot of good lines. Another good one was calling the Nurses' Ball a "provincial little prom night".

[HeatLifer]

Carly on Jason/Robin: The way he looked at her, I was so jealous, I could barely see straight.

Michael: Yeah, that does sound like you.

lmaooooooooo.

[ulkis]

Ha! When was that from? Also, I can't believe Carly actually admitted she was jealous.

Edited August 14, 2016 by ulkis