All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[One Tough Cookie]

Bravo to JJ for ripping new one for Lori Gapp, Gadd, Gagg, whatever, who abused the family court to try and get an upper hand in the custody/visitation of her 18 month old son.  But you can see that nothing the judge said penetrated her dyed blonde head.**

 

**as a bottled redhead myself, I am casting no aspersions to the wonder of hair color options.

[iwasish]

I wonder if the whole move into a house with mom to help out was part of the plan, have her pick a fight, put the chair under the door and the trap is in place. Ms Gag seemed pretty pleased with herself.

OMG! I lurved the Ryan Baker case. Every time he came out with "sitchyation" I giggled like a loon. As for the Liberty Tax thing, it makes total sense he would be working for them as a roadside eyesore. How does he keep getting women?!

The other JJ weekend rerun was the case of Napoleon Dynamite's Sister suing the Ghost of Kurt Cobain for bail money (shocking) and a loan for an engagement ring. Everything about those litigants made me want to take a Silkwood shower.

In today's dog fight case du jour, I see that Blanket Jackson is all grown up now.

And a woman.

[teebax]

Bravo to JJ for ripping new one for Lori Gapp, Gadd, Gagg, whatever, who abused the family court to try and get an upper hand in the custody/visitation of her 18 month old son.  But you can see that nothing the judge said penetrated her dyed blonde head.**

 

**as a bottled redhead myself, I am casting no aspersions to the wonder of hair color options.

She was quite despicable. I love that JJ added a little more to her lecture after the case upon noticing that she was smiling. What JJ didn't point out is that every time a woman makes up a story about abuse it's that much harder for women who really are abused to be believed.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote of the month: "Your honor, she left my house in rumbles". 

 

Boo, we don't get weekend JJ here - although occasionally I've had a bad case of insomnia and have seen JJ at 330 AM. 

[Eliza422]

I wonder if the whole move into a house with mom to help out was part of the plan, have her pick a fight, put the chair under the door and the trap is in place. Ms Gag seemed pretty pleased with herself.

 

 

That chair under the door thing killed me. "Because we're women!" (or did she say girls? ug) Like that makes any sense. I've either lived alone or with female roommates my whole life and I've never put a chair under the door. She clearly wanted to make it impossible for the guy to come in. If you don't feel safe add another lock! 

I had a visceral hate on for her.

[Oinky Boinky]

Putting the chair under the door is a girl thing.  It's an 'old' girl alone thing. 

 

My sister and I (age 11 and 12) were left home alone for days in the country.  

 

We had the chair under the door and also you put a knife in the door jamb.  You hold a table knife flat to the door and slide it under the frame - it works better than the chair.   

[SandyToes]

 

In today's dog fight case du jour, I see that Blanket Jackson is all grown up now.

I agreed with you, until today's Medical Marijuana guy showed up ! Holy smokes!  (hee- unintentional!)

[Rick Kitchen]

God, that rerun medical marijuana case had me furious at JJ yet again.  Her personal opinion of the legality of marijuana has no bearing on the situation.  She was out to rule against the guy with the marijuana card right from the beginning, and her tirade about abuse of the law is neither here nor there.  He had a perfectly valid marijuana card, but she refused to recognize it, and therefore ruled that he was committing a crime, even though he wasn't.  I was actually yelling at the screen.  She was concluding that the guy and his girlfriend with a card were sitting around all day smoking weed.  She doesn't know that.

[teebax]

That chair under the door thing killed me. "Because we're women!" (or did she say girls? ug) Like that makes any sense. I've either lived alone or with female roommates my whole life and I've never put a chair under the door. She clearly wanted to make it impossible for the guy to come in. If you don't feel safe add another lock! 

I had a visceral hate on for her.

I didn't know it was a girl thing, but I've absolutely done it. I lived with an abuser for a while, and after I finally got her out of my house, I was paranoid she'd return. Yes, I'd changed the locks, had an alarm, and owned a gun, but that chair under the door helped me feel a little safer.

 

That being said, her reasoning for doing it was BS. She didn't do it out of fear. She did it as a ploy to get sole custody. That's what makes her despicable.

[Patrizio]

I don't know what I hated more, the self satisfied smirk on that Lori bitch; or that a lowlife like her could have such nice hair and teeth. Sounded to me that she and her Mom were grifters. I wonder if any of the other children shared a Father. You know that the other judge that issued her a restraining order bought her bullshit hook, line, and sinker. She was a real poison apple.

[Toaster Strudel]

Wow, a case about opera glasses and a spatula? That's a change!

[QuelleC]

 

God, that rerun medical marijuana case had me furious at JJ yet again.  Her personal opinion of the legality of marijuana has no bearing on the situation.  She was out to rule against the guy with the marijuana card right from the beginning, and her tirade about abuse of the law is neither here nor there.

It'll never really be legal until employers stop testing you for it even for a stupid gas station job.  I don't see that happening anytime soon.

[Guest]

Her personal opinion of the legality of marijuana has no bearing on the situation.

I think at some point JJ watched Reefer Madness, assumed it was documentary, and never looked back.

[AngelaHunter]

From what I've heard JJ say, she has no problem with medical marijuana when it's used appropriately by people who have serious and or fatal health issues and get pain relief from it. The problem is that the people we've seen using it are mostly young, smirking lazy guys who sprained an ankle five years ago and have figured out how to NOT work and get high all day.

 

The boxer? Dear, your brains appear to be scrambled already. You might want to look into another line of work where regularly being punched in the head is not in your job description.

 

That was the point of my single mothers post. I irritated a few posters with it

 

I have no problem with what you said about the single mothers on this show. They get called on their shit and immediately trot out, "But I'm a SINGLE MOTHER!" in such a way I expect a choir to sing and a heavenly light to shine on them. Since I doubt any of them became that way due to an immaculate conception, it was their choice to breed, often with some jerk they met last week on Craigslist.

 

Best response from JJ: "That doesn't make you the Madonna".

Edited October 7, 2014 by AngelaHunter

[AmyFarrahFowler]

Did anyone catch yesterday's episode when it was revealed that Byrd's wife is named Felicia?

[One Tough Cookie]

Did anyone catch yesterday's episode when it was revealed that Byrd's wife is named Felicia?

 

 

What does it say about my lack of a life that I already knew that?

[Guest]

I agreed with you, until today's Medical Marijuana guy showed up ! Holy smokes!  (hee- unintentional!)

Oh, yikes! Yesterday was Blanket, today it was his dad, tomorrow, I am half expecting LaToya's doppleganger to show up and complain about someone stealing her spinners.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

From what I've heard JJ say, she has no problem with medical marijuana when it's used appropriately by people who have serious and or fatal health issues and get pain relief from it. The problem is that the people we've seen using it are mostly young, smirking lazy guys who sprained an ankle five years ago and have figured out how to NOT work and get high all day.

 

She isn't a doctor, she's supposed to take expert testimony, and a doctor's letter or medical marijuana card is proof.  She's second guessing the medical professionals.

[Toaster Strudel]

She isn't a doctor, she's supposed to take expert testimony, and a doctor's letter or medical marijuana card is proof.  She's second guessing the medical professionals.

 

So do I, watching these defendants/plaintiffs.

[QuelleC]

I really loved the lady in the orange cardigan today.  Not only because her sweater matched her makeup and who else looks great in orange?  JJ really went after the defendant and you could see it in her eyes.  It was practically a magic episode for me.

[Brattinella]

Wow, she really tore her a new one, huh?  Plaintiff didn't have to say a word.

[Guest]

Wow, a case about opera glasses and a spatula? That's a change!

Oh, man. I felt so bad for the Plaintiff in that case. I don't know why really -- she just seemed like a sad soul.

 

"I never took steroids." -- the man who looked like a poster child for steroid abuse

[califred]

My rerun today was the landlady who made complaints with the police department over her tennant (a cop) after she left because she wanted another 4900 on top of the 2200 security deposit she had. That woman was cuckoo.

[teebax]

 

Not only because her sweater matched her makeup and who else looks great in orange?

I do, I do!!! It's not a color I wear often, but my skin (which is - like they sing in the song - the color of cafe au lait ) looks amazing when I wear orange. Also - red, green, and yellow. Unfortunately, when I get dressed for my soul-sucking job in the morning, wearing black, beige, and gray is usually all I can muster the energy to do. 

 

As usual, you guys make me anxious to get home and see these cases. Damn this west coast time zone.

[AngelaHunter]

My rerun today was the landlady who made complaints with the police department over her tennant

 

 Ms. Huntley is a vicious, hateful lunatic who should be locked up for what she did. And the Elly Mae Clampett hairdo isn't doing you any favours, you nasty hag.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

"I never took steroids." -- the man who looked like a poster child for steroid abuse

 

I was looking at his facebook page where he was bragging about being up a perfect stranger, and threatening to beat up some other guy in a bar who dared to suggest that he might be on steroids.

[Guest]

Ms. Huntley is a vicious, hateful lunatic who should be locked up for what she did

No kidding! And what is with these people having a dispute over money calling up someone's employer? Just today I read that Comcast called some customer's employer and had HIM fired because he complained about their overbilling him. And then I see THIS case again and feel like going into hiding in the woods or something where I never owe anyone anything.

I was looking at his facebook page where he was bragging about being up a perfect stranger, and threatening to beat up some other guy in a bar who dared to suggest that he might be on steroids.

I simply cannot believe that this man, who is not on steroids, is acting exactly like a man who abuses steroids.

Was that dude a boxer or an MMA fighter? He looked more like the latter but I may have missed some of the nuances of the case since I was staring at his neck and wondering why it was larger than my waist.

[Toaster Strudel]

There's nothing like 'roid rage to dispel those nasty rumors about being on the juice!

[Rick Kitchen]

He's MMA, based on his facebook page.

[2KllMckngBrd]

More baby names? You got' em.  I have the definitive two. I'm sure of it.  (although all things Ray must be pretty cool!)

(1) L-a

(2) Shithead.

*

*

 

Give up? "Ladasha"   My daughter had her in the dorm at college.

She-theed.  Seriously. A friend was checking in people at a post-hurricane shelter and double checked the spelling and had to ask about pronunciation. And got the evil eye for questioning it.  Sigh.

 

Won't get into the who, whats, or where...lets just say I have processed their paperwork, and worked w/them:

D'emeyona

Charles Manson IV (why? just why?)

Tupeda

Ferntonya

DeVarnte

Ephagania (last name pronounced Coochie-not gonna provide real spelling-you know all that protecting the innocent crap)

Champagana

Sjohnquiallie

DaMerical

Clydorise (exactly like you think)

Sonteerrae

Pinkford

Orabell

Ce'Lica

Lettuceya

Elizarita (and this 1 started out so good)

Queenetta

and Chris'tal

 

There's more, but I think that's enough. So many zigs, when they should have zagged. And don't even get me started on the girl whose initials spelled out PMS. Did her parents not notice that? I would pay real money to hear most of these peoples' names said by Judy.

[teebax]

More baby names? You got' em.  I have the definitive two. I'm sure of it.  (although all things Ray must be pretty cool!)

(1) L-a

(2) Shithead.

*

*

 

Give up? "Ladasha"   My daughter had her in the dorm at college.

She-theed.  Seriously. A friend was checking in people at a post-hurricane shelter and double checked the spelling and had to ask about pronunciation. And got the evil eye for questioning it.  Sigh.

Judge Judy - um, Hmmmm.  I love her evil smile/smirk in the opening credits. Looks like an SNL skit.  Or when the litigants act all lawyerly - I think yesterday's show, "May I approach the bench?"  J:  "No!"

Snopes de-bunked the Ladasha thing a few years ago. I think your daughter was pulling your leg.

http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp

 

That's not to say that people don't name their kids crazy names. Remember our recent litigant, Toshiba?

[Oinky Boinky]

My favourite was Aquanetta but maybe I am too harsh and her parents were hairspray magnates. 

[Guest]

And never forget: Kokka Coleman! 

 

I need the JJ folks to hire me to write their captions. Along the same lines as, "Toshiba Bennett : Says Plaintiff was Fired," I would also add captions like, "Will Not Stop Raising Hand," "Claims She Has Proof, But Does Not," "Welfare Fraudulator," "Has Back 'Injury', Still Gardens," and "Believes 'Um' is an Answer."

[zillabreeze]

 

My favourite was Aquanetta but maybe I am too harsh and her parents were hairspray magnates.

Several years ago, we also had a litigant named "Velveeta"

[Oinky Boinky]

Oh, man. I felt so bad for the Plaintiff in that case. I don't know why really -- she just seemed like a sad soul.

 

"I never took steroids." -- the man who looked like a poster child for steroid abuse

 

You felt that way because really her life was very sad.  A grown woman working at her mom's bakery and getting all lip quivery about her spatula. She got me too.  

 

(is there a way to quote and not get the whole quote? ie above - I have nothing to say about the steroid guy)

[Toaster Strudel]

Owen Wilson was a plaintiff today!  Congrats on the nose-straightening, Owen! 

 

Both cases were boring.

Wait until Toasterina Strudelski vs. Officer Byrd airs...  now there's a name.

[BubblingKettle]

On one of the episodes that aired here today, JJ told a "witness" to cover her belt buckle because it was sending a glare directly into her eyes.  I don't know what the belt buckle looked like...I don't have a DVR, so I couldn't back up the episode, and the woman diligently held her hand over her belt buckle for the rest of the case.  I was dying to know if her belt buckle actually had holographic powers, or if the woman somehow pissed off JJ behind the scenes, and this was JJ's way of exacting a punishment.  I mean, "your belt buckle is reflecting a glare directly into my eyes"???  What a unique slam.

[AngelaHunter]

I mean, "your belt buckle is reflecting a glare directly into my eyes"???  What a unique slam.

 

I heard her say that once before, when  some woman had a huge, shiny metal disk hanging around her neck. The camera lights are strong and the reflection would be unpleasant as even we, the home audience, could see.

 

"You're not auditioning", people, so leave the masses of (cheap)jewelry, and the 10 jangling, banging bracelets at home.

 

While I'm at it, you can also leave the 1970s Vegas lounge style sequined gowns, tee shirts with dumb slogans on them,  mini-skirts (when you're 50), stilletto hooker heels, spaghetti strapped dresses, ripped jeans, Yoga outfits, low cut garments that display your (usually) sagging breasts and black chiffon in the closet too

[2KllMckngBrd]

The new episode today case #2 got me. Smurfette has taught me never judge a blueberry by its cover(ing). Sorry, couldn't resist. Anyways, the defendant was completely prepared, and shut that ex-husband right down. Doesn't he watch Judy? Don't come to court, looking for money for credit card charges, and no statements/bills of said charges. WTH? Normally when the hamsters interrupt Judy, she shoots them that death ray of justice look. But not this one. Smurfette interrupted, and jumped right in there w/ "I got 'em". Think the ex, like me, that Smurfette's looks alone would get him the win. Shirt and tie trumping the rainbow-brite of it all.

 

Case #1 made me want to jump through the tv and smack the dad. Those grown sons may have been little shits. The ex-wife may have been a bitch. But new wife needed to take several seats, and the dad should have made her do it. Shit jr shouldn't have "broken" into daddy's house to get his video game crap, but I have no doubt he felt like it was the only way he was ever going to get his stuff out of that house. Daddy No Balls needs to man up and let her know those are his kids, and they were there before she was, and hell, might, be there long after she gets back on her overly peroxided broomstick, and rides out of town. Can you tell I really didn't like her? Too much smug for my tastes. And I have a step monster-stein of my own.

 

Speaking of blueberries...turns out the rerun for the 2nd episode was the one where Judy tells her story about a blueberry who hangs out w/moldy blueberries, and ends up getting "moldy". Good lord. I love my Judy, but can you imagine growing up in her house? As a parent myself now, I get it. I tried to be on my son like stink on shit. But I'm not so damn old that even my eyes don't start to glaze over, a little, when Judy starts on her, "let me tell you a story my parents told me".

[Toaster Strudel]

While I'm at it, you can also leave the 1970s Vegas lounge style sequined gowns, tee shirts with dumb slogans on them,  mini-skirts (when you're 50), stilletto hooker heels, spaghetti strapped dresses, ripped jeans, Yoga outfits, low cut garments that display your (usually) sagging breasts and black chiffon in the closet too

 

Hey!  That's half the entertainment on this show!  I hope you didn't miss today's square faced bottle blond stepmom's discounted Payless streetwalker high heeled sandals!  They were gloriously inappropriate for her pig feet.

 

[AmyFarrahFowler]

And never forget: Kokka Coleman! 

 

I need the JJ folks to hire me to write their captions. Along the same lines as, "Toshiba Bennett : Says Plaintiff was Fired," I would also add captions like, "Will Not Stop Raising Hand," "Claims She Has Proof, But Does Not," "Welfare Fraudulator," "Has Back 'Injury', Still Gardens," and "Believes 'Um' is an Answer."

Please don't forget "tooken to the cleaners". 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Mockingbird I am seriously laughing at your name list  - alas I am limited by the dreaded HIPPA violation as I work in health care. I only wish I could share my list. I also worked on an account where we had a lot of older Cuban immigrants whose name were based on Soviet links - stuff like Svetlanamaria Gomez or Igorcarlos Almedia (examples obviously). 

 

Toshiba was one of my favorites when she was on!

[AngelaHunter]

That's half the entertainment on this show!

 

Okay, I can go with that but have to draw the line at the exposed,sagging boobs and arms like whole hams covered in a dizzying array of tats that must be displayed. We saw an example of that today. Damn, cover those things up!!

 

Names? Does anyone remember Salminneo? Eastasia?  Feather, Treasure, Dream, Lovely, Dynastasia, LaTownsend, Windy, Shampree and of course, Fidney? Sure you do.

[Brattinella]

Seriously, cover that shit up!  This is my main objection to Lena Dunham.

[ZoloftBlob]

Case #1 made me want to jump through the tv and smack the dad. Those grown sons may have been little shits. The ex-wife may have been a bitch. But new wife needed to take several seats, and the dad should have made her do it. Shit jr shouldn't have "broken" into daddy's house to get his video game crap, but I have no doubt he felt like it was the only way he was ever going to get his stuff out of that house. Daddy No Balls needs to man up and let her know those are his kids, and they were there before she was, and hell, might, be there long after she gets back on her overly peroxided broomstick, and rides out of town. Can you tell I really didn't like her? Too much smug for my tastes. And I have a step monster-stein of my own.

 

I totally get you, but "My kids matter more than you and your kid/kids" gets old as well especially when Shit Jr is merrily moving out of Mama Who Loves Him's house to live with Dad and Evil StepBitch simply because Shit Jr. wants his way. Being a kid is only so much of a free pass. Shit Jr decided life was easier with Mom, thereby *rejecting* his dad, and Mom Who Loves Him was obviously delighted to have Shit Jr immortalize how StepBitch was *turning him away from his dad* and there's a point where since the kid is almost an adult anyway, yeah, it's time to take the gloves off. Mom was also obviously perfectly fine with the theft so she's no princess martyr

[Brattinella]

Brilliant post, ZoloftBlob!

Edited October 9, 2014 by Brattinella

[2KllMckngBrd]

Svetlanamaria Gomez or Igorcarlos Almedia

Oh thank you for these. Sjohnquiallie and Svetlanamaria would have made beautiful babies.

[Mindymoo]

The name discussion reminds me of the story going around my parents hospital of Lemonjello and Oranjello, twins who were born and whose names were inspired by dessert selections. And of the fact that I wrote a musical in high school called "The Girl Named Syphillis." (Her nickname was Syphie, and was named such when her mom was diagnosed shortly after her birth, misunderstood, and thought it was a name suggestion.)

[WhoaWhoKnew]

I have to chime in to say that some of these bizarre names that are being mentioned (la-a, orangejello, [insert random STD here]) are all urban legends.

[Jenniferxo3]

I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place, but I have spent the past couple of years looking for an episode that I saw on April 27th, 2012. One of the people on the show was talking about getting "college money." The following episode had to do with a motorcycle magazine and someone buying the magazine and running into an issue. If anyone can help me locate the number of the episode or anything, I would appreciate it. Thank you!