All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[27bored]

Hubby and I watched this one together, and I told him "That man looks like a black Homer Simpson".  He said oh wow, now I can't un-see it!

You mean the guy with those big ass cigarette lips? I remember that case. He didn't want to sign over the car based on their agreement because his daughter was "disrespectful" to him. I think I said at the time, it seemed like he was trying to screw her out of their deal to get more money/make his girlfriend happy.

 

Ms. Asher, crazy landlord? Even though listening to her yak and yak and yak was irritating, her weird, blurry pics of some door showing thousands of dollars of damage and her hallterview were awesome. "(Her JJ appearance) was more brutal than a bad gynocologist visit (exam?)"  WTF? Thank you, Ms. Asher, for making my day.

 

Yeah she was on one. I mean, I don't like JJ a lot but she was being reasonable this time. If they pay you for the entire month, you have to let them have access to the property until the end of the month. And unless you can prove there was significant damage, you have to return their deposit check.

[Trini]

Even though it was new, the pony case felt old because I know there was a case last season with "old owner of animal doesn't approve of new owner's care".

 

Seriously, DON'T send strangers money (and expect to be paid back)! And yes, people you've never met but talk to alot are still strangers.

[Rick Kitchen]

I think Falon's mother may have a drug problem, too.

[AngelaHunter]

Seriously, DON'T send strangers money (and expect to be paid back)!

 

We've seen that people shouldn't expect to be paid back after lending money to family members and life-long friends. Why on earth would some guy you've never laid eyes on bother to pay it back?

 

I think Falon's mother may have a drug problem, too.

 

 

Yes, and whatever she was on appeared to be the opposite of meth. Probably tanked up on Xanax.

[Milz]

Finally ALL NEW episodes!

 

However, it did seem like everyone got a day-pass from their alcohol/drug rehab clinic.

 

I couldn't figure out if Falon's daughter was with her dad because Fallon and G-mom were at JJ or if Falon's daughter was with her dad because the court revoked custody. I guess that's what happens when your namesake is a screwed up character from Dynasty

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Landlords and ponies and methheads, oh my!!!

 

So happy that the new season started with a bang!

 

"(Her JJ appearance) was more brutal than a bad gynecologist visit (exam?)"  WTF? Thank you, Ms. Asher, for making my day.

I bet she was storing that joke in her brain since she signed up to come on the show. What a nut job. 

 

I've watched enough episodes of Intervention to have pegged Fallon (seriously?!?!) right off the bat as a methhead. That said, I certainly enjoyed her and her mother justifying taking her auntie for a bunch of moolah and blaming their bankroller. I guess it's true that no good deed goes unpunished. 

[Rick Kitchen]

Three things that grind my gears about JJ in today's rerun shows:

 

1-Screeching at a guy for drinking the water.

2-Disparaging step parents as "not real parents."

3-Assuming that anybody can get a job anywhere with little problem.

[AngelaHunter]

I bet she was storing that joke in her brain since she signed up to come on the show. What a nut job.

 

A  nut job with a voice like nails on a blackboard. Trying to have a conversation with her would be amazingly frustrating.

 

Thanks for adding the "e" in my "Gyno" quote. I was going to edit, but was too lazy.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

As soon as I saw Falon, I thought "Meth!"

 

Ha! Us too...I said as soon as I saw her to my DH "stay away from the meth, kids". When she said she'd had rehab for meth, my DH said DING DING DING--WINNER 

 

And Mom...definitely apples and trees and all that. Yikes.

[Ouisch]

Ms. Asher, crazy landlord? Even though listening to her yak and yak and yak was irritating, her weird, blurry pics of some door showing thousands of dollars of damage and her hallterview were awesome. "(Her JJ appearance) was more brutal than a bad gynocologist visit (exam?)"  WTF? Thank you, Ms. Asher, for making my day.

 

 

Omigawd, that landlord's voice drove me nuts! She sounded like she was on the verge of tears with every sentence. And despite all her protestations she had no solid evidence to back up her claims of $3000 worth of damage. Maybe if she'd taken a momentary break from her drama queen persona and had actually answered JJ's questions as to what damage was represented in the photos she might have fared better. But she was too focused on whining and ranting and trying to get "her side" heard...  Quite frankly, she exhausted me.

[AngelaHunter]

Today we were subjected to such stupidity I think my IQ dropped several points.

 

Oh, Nicole, wid whom Terrell was messin'? I love how JJ pointed out that he (who is 29 and can't keep a job because he just could NOT get manage to get his ass in on time) is the "slow" one.

 

The ridiculous Tanya is another one, showering money on some cardigan-wearing loser who, in spite of being old enough to have grey in his beard, is such a loser he has to move in with Mommy and Daddy. I'm glad she got nothing.

 

Women, what are you thinking? Why are you all so desperate?

 

Excuse my language, but that fucking bitch with the biting dog? I really wish I could slap her fucking face. If any of my dogs ever lunged at someone and bit them (which did not and would not have ever happened) I would be falling over myself apologizing and would have gladly paid their medical bills. Oh yes, the plaintiff ran to the end of driveway and started kicking her dog for no reason at all. Tanya? STFU.

 

Finally, we had the super-dumb puppet couple - so dumb you have to wonder at how they manage day-to-day living - who SOOOO trusted a total stranger they felt no need to get a boat checked out even though it wasn't in the water. Suck it up kids. The sad part is that I don't think they learned a thing.

[califred]

The dog lady was so irritating. Was he only suing for his medical bills? If so she was very lucky.

[BubblingKettle]

I was a little bored with episode 1's case. For me, episode 2 made up for it.

 

Ms. Doucette was really dead behind the eyes. Bless her heart; she needed a chin in the worst way. When Mr. Gunter admitted that he called Ms. Doucette slow, I wasn't expecting that snow story......but, shit, I was howling when he was talking about the voo-doo phone situation. I'll side with Mr. Gunter on this one --- Ms. Doucette's vacant look and manner of speaking pinged my radar. Mr. Gunter may have been called slow by JJ, but he knows how to work a system (free apt, yo!). And he probably picked Ms. Doucette to mess wit because he could feel like the smart one.

 

Thank you, Camera Operator, for staying on Mr. Gunter as he was fixing the lapels ("fixing his fashion," according to JJ) on his wrinkled blazer.

 

Did JJ ask the litigants how they met? I'm curious. Whatever the details, I guess Mr. Gunter just saw someone who was willing to mess wit him.

Edited September 1, 2015 by CoolWhipLite

[Brattinella]

I understood the dog lady (Boxer!) was saying the man in his driveway started "kicking and screaming" before he even got TO THE DOG!  What was he kicking?  The hedge?  The dog reacted to HIS REACTION?  Durrrr! I think he needs to get a different career, you know, one where you don't have to deal with dozens of dogs every day when you deliver the mail.

[AngelaHunter]

I'll side with Mr. Gunter on this one --- Ms. Doucette's vacant look and manner of speaking pinged my radar.

 

This is true, but Mr. Gunter the Homely yet Fashion Conscious Parasite had no problem with taking advantage of someone as slow as the chinless Nicole (who has more and better credit than he does) and having her sign a lease for him so he'd have a place to mess wit his real girlfriend. She may have problems, but she's more with it than he - who cannot even get a $550/month apartment unless someone else signs the lease - is. Her grammar was better too.

[Brattinella]

Oh my, the vile Mr Gunter!  Watching the lies roll out of his mouth, one after another, probably thinking "Yeah, that's the ticket!  Judge will BELIEVE this"".  Yeah, gots a free apartment, and she can't do anything about it!  My name isn't on the lease!  What a piece of excrement!

[Trini]

The dog lady was so irritating. Was he only suing for his medical bills? If so she was very lucky.

She's one of those people who admit they are at fault -- until the bill is higher than the $25 they're willing to pay. Ugh.

 

Mr. Gunter -- wow. Man, he went on, and on, and on digging his hole deeper. I was wondering why JJ let him talk, but that ridiculous story! Anyway, the landlord is letting him squat at the apartment??

[Brattinella]

Heads up for tomorrow, looks to be a GREAT episode on JJ!

[QuinnM]

 

Heads up for tomorrow, looks to be a GREAT episode on JJ!

I got so excited I set the dvd just in case I had some kind of emergency surgery or something.

[AngelaHunter]

Heads up for tomorrow, looks to be a GREAT episode on JJ!

 

I was FF'ing, but is it going to be what looks like Cruella DeVille as defendant? Yes, shaping up to be a good one.

[One Tough Cookie]

So the woman and the boat?  I wanted to put her in the boat, tie an anchor around her neck and throw her overboard.  She just could not. shut. up. and obviously failed English class because she did not understand two basic words  {AS IS}.  Gah, I hated her and her husband.

Edited September 2, 2015 by One More Time

[NowVoyager]

Y'all are wrong for talking about that lady's no-chin like that......I laughed; a good belly laugh, too. But, that's beside the point! Dude was one old-looking 29. Maybe it was the popped collar & the retro jacket. I flashed back to "Pretty in Pink." Ah! Those were good times....

[AZChristian]

Boat lady probably got a long way with Mommy and Daddy with those big innocent eyes as she kept whining, "That's not FAAAAIIIIRRRRR."  However, her repetitions of "We TRUUUUUUSSSSTTTED him" didn't seem to work well on JJ.

[AngelaHunter]

because she did not understand two basic words  {AS IS}.

 

But she and her dweeby li'l hubby trusted him! He was a mechanic for twenty-five years! "As is" doesn't apply if you meet someone on Craiglist and you trust him with all your heart!

[Milz]

but...but...but...she said he said he stood behind whatever he was selling..............

[Brattinella]

That lady just slayed me.  He assured us!  25 years experience!  We trusted him!  He swore it was running smooth!  LMAO.

 

Oh, I forgot the best one!  We had a VERBAL WARRANTY!

Edited September 2, 2015 by Brattinella

[BubblingKettle]

Thermuthis Lee: sleepy, stoned, or needs to go to SpecSavers?  Open your eyes, Thermuthis!  They hit the record button - this is your moment! Plaintiff Mr. Martinez was very believable, and I can't help but wonder what will happen with the $2500 purchase of 3 inches. Either Thermuthis is going to put the kibosh on that deal, or Philadelphia Licenses & Inspections will.  Philly's L&I is no joke and is always ready to stir up problems.  Mr. Martinez was preventing Thermuthis from getting a double organ transplant? That was an overly dramatic accusation.

 

The second case with the defendant from "a very important body shop." Shutup, asshole. And shave that Brillo off your face while you're at it. I kept having to look away from the screen -- for whatever reason, I'm easily frightened by skulls, skeletons, and those kinds of things. Not a fan of 'scary' stuff at Halloween either. The sketches and paintings were scary, and Mr. Paulson's face looked like he was about 10 pounds away from looking like them.

 

Those skulls had nothing on the horrifying appearance of Rebecca Wojtczak, a "kept woman" of a presumably married man. The HD eyebrows, inflated lips, Chiclet teeth, orange tan, two-tone hair. I shouldn't be so mean -- this is a woman who has been traumatized and paralyzed....relentlessly relentlessly!!!  I wonder why her son is a ne'er do well? She seems so stable. Then, the normal-looking Ms. Morgan. What a contrast.

 

Sidebar: The teaser for my 5:00 news here in Orlando is saying that police are currently investigating "a toddler fight club." I usually switch over to comedy reruns, but it looks like I'll be watching the bumpkin newscast today.

[AngelaHunter]

Oh, god... Rebecca, you wonderful person, you! She's traumatized and paralyzed.  The skunk-striped weave! The botox! The plastic surgery! The eye makeup! The DRAMA! Just when we thought it couldn't get any better, we find out she's being supported by a sugar daddy.

 

"How do you support yourself?"

 

Rebecca: "Ah, uh, hmm..ehh...well.."

 

I'm not knocking you, Rebecca. That you - at your age -  have a sugar daddy willing to pay for all the botox, weaves, etc. is something of which to be very proud.

Just one little tip: I'd cool it with the Cleopatra eye makeup. It just draws attention to the fact that if your eyes were any closer together you'd be a cyclops.

 

Had to love Thermuthis Lee, sporting an equally hideous wig and fighting tooth and nail over 3" of her "propitty." She can't even get transplanted because of the harrassment due to that three inches.

 

I have a good sized propitty, and put up a fence a few years back. If I had found my neighbour's shed was encroaching THREE INCHES (loved JJ's innuendo, BTW) on my property, I'd shrug my shoulders and say "Who the hell cares?" and I don't even need to be transplanted. But that's just me.

 

Motorcycle painting case: Meh... but I thought the artwork was very nice.

 

CoolWhipLite  - we posted at the same time. So nice to see that great minds think alike! Ha!

Edited September 2, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[Brattinella]

Thermuthis Lee, my vote:  Stoned to the max.  She could barely keep her eyes open, probably due to her needing a double organ transplant.  I did learn something, though.  Thermuthis was the name of the lady who found Moses in the Nile.

 

On to the motorcycle paint job:  I  DO like skulls and that sort of thing, but Mr Paulson looked a little too much like the artwork, KWIM? 

[quarkuud]

I have an awful neighbor situation ongoing, so the case about the three inches hits a little close to home.

[Brattinella]

Cruella DeVille/Steven Tyler lady:

 

Dear God!  That's a scary thing! 

[BubblingKettle]

I hung on during the crappy local news to hear about the toddler fight club that they teased as a local story for 40 minutes ....turns out it happened in North Jersey. (Stupid, deceptive Orlando news.) Here's a cleverly written article about it, if you want a laugh: http://nypost.com/2015/09/01/day-care-workers-had-young-kids-brawl-in-fight-club-videos/

 

If a story like this was ever on JJ, I'd probably faint from the high level of entertainment.

[califred]

How was a fence keeping her from a transplant? The plaintiff seemed completely reasonable in that case.

Skunk striped with the sugar daddy was quite the drama queen.

[basiltherat]

And Ms. Skunk skank wonders why her son is so f-ed up - why she's the perfect role model!

[Taylorh2]

How long was 'drama queen's son sentenced to ?

[AZChristian]

How long was 'drama queen's son sentenced to ?

 

Plaintiff said 4 years, just as drama queen said she wouldn't allow her son to tell him.

 

So how will she know when to go pick him up when he's released?

[Brattinella]

It sounded to me like 40 years.  I probably got it wrong.

Oh, god... Rebecca, you wonderful person, you! She's traumatized and paralyzed.  The skunk-striped weave! The botox! The plastic surgery! The eye makeup! The DRAMA! Just when we thought it couldn't get any better, we find out she's being supported by a sugar daddy.

 

"How do you support yourself?"

 

Rebecca: "Ah, uh, hmm..ehh...well.."

 

I'm not knocking you, Rebecca. That you - at your age -  have a sugar daddy willing to pay for all the botox, weaves, etc. is something of which to be very proud.

Just one little tip: I'd cool it with the Cleopatra eye makeup. It just draws attention to the fact that if your eyes were any closer together you'd be a cyclops.

 

Had to love Thermuthis Lee, sporting an equally hideous wig and fighting tooth and nail over 3" of her "propitty." She can't even get transplanted because of the harrassment due to that three inches.

 

I have a good sized propitty, and put up a fence a few years back. If I had found my neighbour's shed was encroaching THREE INCHES (loved JJ's innuendo, BTW) on my property, I'd shrug my shoulders and say "Who the hell cares?" and I don't even need to be transplanted. But that's just me.

 

Motorcycle painting case: Meh... but I thought the artwork was very nice.

 

CoolWhipLite  - we posted at the same time. So nice to see that great minds think alike! Ha!

THIS had coffee squirting out my nose!

[Quof]

Rebecca Drama Queen needs a better sugar daddy, she's had 2 houses foreclosed in the last 4 years.  I love it when a party has a unique name.

[NowVoyager]

In the case against Rebecca the drama queen, the plantiff was a handsome woman....

Rebecca slipped & said her sugar daddy's name---did anyone else catch it? It was something like Bruce...

Edited September 3, 2015 by NowVoyager

[Quof]

Yep, it was Bruce who had "just sent me a cheque".  For $5,000.  Wonder what she did to earn that?

[Brattinella]

I just can't understand a woman who goes on TV and pretty much says "I'm a whore".

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

Wonder what she did to earn that?

 

I can take a few guesses. She must be one hot mamma if what she has is worth that kind of scratch.

 

Quote

she's had 2 houses foreclosed in the last 4 years.

 

I love it when people do their homework! I've slipped shamefully in that regard.

 

Quote

THIS had coffee squirting out my nose!

 

Not very nice of me, but Cruella just brought out my worst side.

 

I just can't understand a woman who goes on TV and pretty much says "I'm a whore".

 

I'm sitting here cracking up so badly over all this, I'm literally crying.

Edited September 3, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[AZChristian]

I've looked back and don't see an answer to this . . . I paused the last case, and when I went to start it, I hit "OFF" and lost it.  Can someone give me a synopsis of the case where the man was suing for the engagement ring, and the woman said she didn't have it . . . but JJ wasn't believing her?

 

Thanks in advance.

[Brattinella]

The woman said she had moved, and the ring was kinda lost or something, maybe in a box?  JJ didn't believe her AT ALL, and verdict went to the plaintiff.

[AZChristian]

The teaser before the commercial made it look like JJ was threatening to put a lien on her car.  Or did she miraculously find the ring?  Or was she just gonna have to pay for it?

 

Thanks for your help, Brattinella.

[Brattinella]

Yeah, she had to pay him for the ring.  She was APPALLED, I say, appalled at the prospect of a lien on her car!

 

You are most welcome, AZ!

[AngelaHunter]

Or was she just gonna have to pay for it?

 

She didn't have to pay for it because the plaintiff didn't seem to know what it actually cost. He was instructed to put the lien on the car instead.

[Brattinella]

Oops, sorry!  I must have missed that!  Thanks, AngelaHunter!

[Trini]

For me, the best part of Skunk Stripe Drama Queen was the Plaintiff standing there with this "see what I've had to put up with?!" look on her face as SSDQ rambled on and on. It's one of my pet peeves when someone refuses to give a straight answer to a straight question. Too bad she couldn't prove the loan.

 

Thermutis! I fully believe that lady refused to budge about the fence, and it took this 'court' appearance to make a difference. (Well, I hope it makes a difference.)

 

I didn't fully agree with JJ on the motorcycle paint case. Yeah, the guy should be paid for his work, but that's not the work the plaintiff wanted, or agreed to. Now he'll have to pay for someone else to fix it the way he wants it.

[DebbieW]

I was shocked that JJ gave the skunk striped mother of the year so much latitude to ramble.  I wish she would have inquired about the defendant's claim that the money she gave the daughter was to support her kid that the plaintiff was raising.  She basically claimed that the plaintiff was starving the kid.