All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Milz]

I don't like to criticize anyone's appearance as a rule (heck, I'm no oil painting myself), that that tax refund scammer lady looked like an adult survivor of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Or something. She worked for three months at a gas station, her husband worked for nine months at Wal-Mart, and she didn't find it unusual that they received half a dozen refunds from the IRS. Right.

 

 

 

Well, why would she think otherwise? The government put it into her daughter's bank account. So it's the government's fault for putting those refunds into a bank account of a minor child, it's not her fault. ;-)

[Toaster Strudel]

Pepper Spraying Twins:  Holy Family Dysfunction Batman!  What a bunch of in-each-other's-business losers that settle their arguments with vicious beatings!  One twin has an enforcer boyfriend that never leaves home without his pepper spray, the other twin... a taser??? Are you for real?  You take "papa" to church with an assortment of police crowd control weapons in your cars?  Taser Twin may have won the arms race, but she lost the IQ contest because she was too stupid to charge the batteries, and she paid for it by getting the worst end of... assault and battery... and having the pepper spray rubbed in her eyes.  Serves her right for harassing the loser boyfriend with texts about what a loser he is.  Who wonders what medication Pepper Spray Twin was on that made her mind go blank?  Prescription vodka?  I loved the outfits, Taser Twin looked like a psychedelic zebra, and Pepper Spray Twin like Barbie's plastic pink car.  Loser boyfriend (feel free to text him that he's a loser, you all) looked like Charles Manson with a buzz cut.

 

Un-Pepper-Spayed Kitten: I don't care if you're 9 years old, I don't care if you're as cute as a button, I don't care if you speak like an angel.  When JJ tells you to shut up, put a sock in it, and get out of her court room!  The plaintiff's voice was reaching octaves in the piccolo range.  "Scapegoat" is not the same as "escape artist."  Go get another kitten.

 

Pepper Sprayed Ghetto Queen: Normally I wouldn't dare call someone "ghetto" but I'll take the word of the expert witness in the hallterview on this one.  I don't think I've ever seen JJ so distracted by an outfit/Halloween costume as much as this one... with jeweled headgear from the 1001 nights... a cheap white synthetic silk top with bare shoulders and a beaded Egyptian collar... and kaleidoscope shorts that were painted on her Jeep bumpers.  Still, none of that was as distracting as her incoherence.  The plaintiff pepper sprayed the defendant (yes, I did get the order right!), but the lawsuit was not about that but the defendant leaving her child with her mother and coming back with a posse to rage at the plaintiff's car.

[iwasish]

Well, why would she think otherwise? The government put it into her daughter's bank account. So it's the government's fault for putting those refunds into a bank account of a minor child, it's not her fault. ;-)

But smart enough to pull that money out soon as it hit the account and close it right after the last of the refunds she expected were received.  .. "I was checking it daily for her money" . And why close out the account? I mean the gubmint was filling it full of free money who would forfeit that?  She might have looked dumb as a stump, but she was a sly fox. Another lifer on the gubmint tit.

[27bored]

Y'all play too much. For real. I know it was one of you who went on JJ as a joke. It had to be. So it's time to 'fess up: which one of you is Kwahniqua? I don't appreciate it because I said I was gonna be good this week and already y'all making me come out of pocket.

 

But seriously...girl. I don't even...I can't even...Lord have mercy. I don't know what possessed Kwahniqua to off-set that Rainbow outfit with accessories from the King Xerxes collection at Party City. Her boyfriend was probably scared to come outside because she told him she would make uttering the name Sparta, or Leonidas, punishable by death and that it is unwise to stand against her since she would gladly kill any of her own men for victory. Bitch I'd be scared too!

 

And as far as the pepper-spraying twins are concerned, the plaintiff husband is a straight up punk. Not only do you throw a drink in another woman's face, but you pepper-spray her, too? What the fuck, are you one of the Real Housewives? Grown ass man throwing shit and pepper-spraying people. That's bitchassness.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Pepper Sprayed Ghetto Queen: Normally I wouldn't dare call someone "ghetto" but I'll take the word of the expert witness in the hallterview on this one.  I don't think I've ever seen JJ so distracted by an outfit/Halloween costume as much as this one... with jeweled headgear from the 1001 nights... a

You are so eloquent in your description. . . . what the eff was Miss Nefertiti thinking? "hmmm, maybe they are casting for the Real Baby Mamas of Skankytown and they will call me and in the blink of an eye I'll be pulling somebody's weave off on camera". And I'm what the Effed about her painted on ski leggins- I think they sell those at my local Walgreen's next to the one-size-fits-all tank tops. 

 

Anybody here watch Dancing with the Stars? Remember a few years back there was a house singer that had the same sparkly headdress. She was on for YEARS. Perhaps Queen Esther in Ski Pants picked hers up at the singer's yard sale. 

 

And in my head, I'm hearing ....."I bust the windows out ya caaarrrrrr". . . . . . . . 

 

As for Dolly Parton's Lost Twin Chilluns - can you imagine the scene at that house? Dolly #1 meds certainly wore off quick enough for her to rub Dolly #2's eyes when the pepper spray hit - I would have bitten Dolly#1 too. What I find so ironic is that they are dissing each other when they look EXACTLY THE SAME!!! Like looking in a mirror and telling yourself you look like sh%t. 

 

My new favorite word is. . . . viletol! As in combining violent and volatile - use in a sentence, please. . . "my overlymedicated twin sister has a viletol personality when she rubbed that pepper spray in mah eyes"

 

Kitty Sisters - they had exactly the same sing-songy voice - no wonder the cat was confuzzled and ended up in the wrong house. I was thinking Kitty Sister #2 (the defendant) had been hanging out with Dolly #1 and sharing meds (or at least the helium tank)

Edited November 25, 2014 by ItsHelloPattiagain

[Puffaroo]

 

Pepper Spraying Twins:  Holy Family Dysfunction Batman!

 

ROFL, you beat me to it, Toaster Strudel!  Although I was going to say "Taser Twins:  Holy '80s hairdos, Batman!"

[WhoaWhoKnew]

This is the year of the see-through shirt.

[Guest]

Please stop using ghetto as descriptive snark and stop using any sort of put down based on ethnicity.

 

We can be snarky without bordering on racism.  

 

I don't believe it was meant that way and that's why I'm only making a note here and not handing out warnings.  If it happens again, that will no longer be the case.

 

 

[califred]

The crazy was strong in these episodes.

[Quof]

Googling the Zaftig twins is fun.  Christina Keys Trujillo and Stephanie Keys Elam; give it a try.

[Intocats]

Did anyone catch the repeat episode from 2011, featuring Father of the Year Roger Martin of Oakdale, California? He and his wife have eleven children between them, and were partially supporting themselves with Social Security death benefits that two of his kids were receiving (their mother had passed away). Daddy Dearest with the creepy dead eyes stuck his 18-year-old daughter with a $2500 electricity bill. Evidently he and his wife had a bad debt with the utility company and couldn't turn on the power. He also stuck his daughter with a parking ticket and fines that he incurred while borrowing her car. Whattaguy!

 

JJ:  "You have enough children!"

DD: (with smirky attitude) Ummmmhummm!

 

The plaintiff, his daughter (age 20 at the time of the case) was more than impressive. Polite, well-spoken and poised, she was in the process of buying a house. And I know 20-year-olds who can barely tie their shoes!

[Intocats]

Googling the Zaftig twins is fun.  Christina Keys Trujillo and Stephanie Keys Elam; give it a try.

Holy crap -- the Pepper Spray Twins are only 44! Forty-four years of hella rough mileage! I had guessed ten or fifteen years more.

 

When one of the twins mentioned that "Papa" is 78 years old, I assumed he had been a teen dad.

[Ouisch]

Speaking of coining new uses for old words, did anyone catch Queen Ester saying "blase, blase" (should be an acute accent on the 'e') when she meant "blah, blah"? And plaintiff swung a gardening tool at Her Royal Highness and missed, and that's how a total of four car windows got smashed? 

[27bored]

Speaking of coining new uses for old words, did anyone catch Queen Ester saying "blase, blase" (should be an acute accent on the 'e') when she meant "blah, blah"? And plaintiff swung a gardening tool at Her Royal Highness and missed, and that's how a total of four car windows got smashed?

The plaintiff was trying to show that even a god-king can bleed. The world will know 300 Spartans stood up against a tyrant!

Edited November 25, 2014 by 27bored

[Bazinga]

 

"Scapegoat" is not the same as "escape artist."

I thought she said "scapecoat," actually.  Had to quote this to bring emphasis.  Something this amazing can't just be passed over.  Just wow-scapegoat (or coat) because the cat likes to run away.  Really????

 

I don't care if you're 9 years old, I don't care if you're as cute as a button, I don't care if you speak like an angel.  When JJ tells you to shut up, put a sock in it, and get out of her court room!

The child really bugged me.  So entitled at a young age.  She is being told "no" by an authority and she just does what she intended to do anyway.  You know she is not used to someone not allowing her to do what she wants and never will take "no" for an answer.

 

JJ (while pointing): Byrd, can you send her out? 

Little Girl: Before I go, I just want to say...

JJ: Shhhh, go. 

LG: (Repeating, totally not comprehending why she wasn't allowed to do what she wanted) Before I go, I just want to say, I heard her say "she stole the cat..."

JJ: Shhhh, go.

Byrd (while escorting her out): Nice try.

 

Well, her mother countersued the plaintiff, who found/saved her cat, for the inconvenience of having to miss work, so she is learning well.

 

JJ: Byrd, do you know what Purim is?

Byrd: No idea.

Edited November 25, 2014 by Bazinga

[AZChristian]

It felt like Mama told that kid that her job was to be a witness and tell Judge Judy that the plaintiff stole her cat.  The kid didn't understand that she's not a special snowflake to the whole world, just to her Mama.  And when Judge Judy told her to leave, she assumed that she was to leave AFTER she did what Mama told her to do.

 

She's going to grow up to be just like her Mama.  And getting the cat back is going to make them feel even more entitled to do as they wish and never have to understand consequences.

[Milz]

But smart enough to pull that money out soon as it hit the account and close it right after the last of the refunds she expected were received.  .. "I was checking it daily for her money" . And why close out the account? I mean the gubmint was filling it full of free money who would forfeit that?  She might have looked dumb as a stump, but she was a sly fox. Another lifer on the gubmint tit.

 

She was checking for it daily so she could take out 80-90% of it the minute it arrived as the bank record showed! And she closed out the account to decrease the chance of anyone getting suspicious. She had 2 children, iirc, right. I bet in the previous fiscal year the other child had a bank account at another bank, into which IRS refunds  were direct deposited.

 

Yeah, she looked stupid, but she was one of the better scammers on JJ.

 

RE: Queen Esther and the 3 Dudes....

 

I have to give kudos to the plaintiff's boyfriend for running out of his house, confronting the Royal Goon Squad and telling them to get off his property. He wasn't the bulkiest guy in the world and Queen Esther looked like she could snap him in half. And seriously, I don't know why they didn't call the cops, when Queen E began swinging the Mighty Stick of Destruction at the car windows (but again...the cops mighta taken one look and driven away ASAP!).

Edited November 25, 2014 by Milz

[Guest]

I don't like to criticize anyone's appearance as a rule (heck, I'm no oil painting myself), that that tax refund scammer lady looked like an adult survivor of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Or something. She worked for three months at a gas station, her husband worked for nine months at Wal-Mart, and she didn't find it unusual that they received half a dozen refunds from the IRS. Right.

Oh for god's sakes. If anyone read this before I edited it, it was the wrong Crystal Lynn Garner that came up as a potential murderess. (Though the actual one did have bed bugs!) My Google skills are terrible! That being said, IRS Fraudulator Crystal Lynn Garner is still a lazy-eyed dullard who'll keep popping out the babies and scamming for dollars until the end of time.

 

I read Toaster Strudel's recap before watching the show and figured the Pepper Spray Crazies were like teenagers or something. I was SHOCKED to see they were some ancient crones who looked like they had spent their time in the green room trying to beat imaginary birds out of their hairdos. As for the pepper-sprayed sister, SHE was the one who seemed to be on "medication." Then again, if I were either one of those women, I'd be on "medication" too. I noticed that the loony Plaintiff was identified as a "former prison guard." Raise your hands people if you, like me, believe that she found that boyfriend at her place of work -- as an inmate, not a collegue.

 

I simply cannot believe the Crazy Twins are only 44. That's some hard living on display right there, folks.

 

ETA:

 

Googling the Zaftig twins is fun.  Christina Keys Trujillo and Stephanie Keys Elam; give it a try.

HA HA HA HA! Oh god, America. It's such a hot mess.

Edited November 25, 2014 by Guest

[Oinky Boinky]

 

Un-Pepper-Spayed Kitten: I don't care if you're 9 years old, I don't care if you're as cute as a button, I don't care if you speak like an angel.  When JJ tells you to shut up, put a sock in it, and get out of her court room!  The plaintiff's voice was reaching octaves in the piccolo range.  "Scapegoat" is not the same as "escape artist."  Go get another kitten.

I am pretty sure she said 'escapegoat' and who can blame her:

 

1. He was escaping all the time and her word has 'escape' in it.

 

2. The word is vintage JJ lexicon. 

[how55]

JJ: Byrd, do you know what Purim is?

Byrd: No idea.

 

As a fellow 'member of the tribe', I was kvelling from JJ's Purim shoutout. She really didn't know what to make of that costume.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

I would have bitten Dolly#1 too.

 

I was LOL'ing at the image of this women, blinded by the pepper spray, randomly snapping her teeth in the air until she found solid matter.

 

We caught the use of "vile-eh-tile" too. New one for the lexicon

[Brattinella]

I can't believe sisters, much less TWIN sisters, would do this to each other! All my siblings are loving, caring folks.

 

Poor kitten, I hope she finds her way back to her REAL owner.

 

"Blase, blase" Queen Esther.  Jeez louise!  "Never in my 35 years have I seen such an outfit in court!".  "Do you like it?" HAHAHAHA!

[Toaster Strudel]

Yesterday was the pepper spray festival, today, we have a parade of liars.

 

Liars, Liars, Trees on Fire: I have trees close to the property line and every year during the pruning season, I ask my neighbors if he'd like me to chop anything that overhangs.  One always takes me up on the offer, the other still has not.  I would be mortified if they rang my bell to complain and I didn't immediately get the chain saw or the branch trimmer out to keep them happy.  Sure the plaintiff was thrown out because she's a lying liar that lies, but I'm not sure that I believed the defendant's story about this particular bush burning from some freak firework accident.

 

Predatory Pitbull Pair:  So two pitbulls run out of a front door because they were feeling a little peckish for some Labrador and human flesh and proceed to butcher and devour some unfortunate passers-by.  JJ asks vapid blond defendant how many dogs there were in 50 different ways and defendants insists there was one dog, while the mauled plaintiff insists there were two.  The infuriating defendant claims that she is not responsible for the carnage because (1) the Labrador was off-leash, (2) the plaintiff just went nuts at the pitbull so it's his fault and (3) it was the Labrador attacking.  JJ reads the defendant's own statement to the police where she stated that (1) the Labrador was on a leash and (2) there were indeed two pitbulls.  JJ was so upset at the blatant lies that she ruled for the plaintiff without looking at bills or pictures.  The entitled plaintiff protested that her witness had not been examined, enraging JJ to shout out that she does not question the witnesses of proven liars.  I think she lied about the number of pitbulls to foil animal control because they might have asked that both the canine demons be put down.  When the defendant mocked the plaintiff in the hallterview for losing his pants during the bloodbath, I grabbed some tomatoes to toss at my TV screen in fury, but then she said the stupidest thing ever: "Hopefully he'll stick to his embarrassment at his house"  whhhuuuu??? I became clear that she had been lobotomized out of her verbal, grammar and responsibility lobes, and then all was good and fair in the world, and I made myself a tomato sandwich instead.

 

The second show was pre-empted by Al Sharpton, who is now on my do-not-interrupt-my-JJ shitlist.

[EtheltoTillie]

Toaster, how do you manage to see these shows so early? What is your approximate location? NYC we get 4 PM!

[Toaster Strudel]

WPTZ Burlington airs at noon.

[Brattinella]

 

The second show was pre-empted by Al Sharpton, who is now on my do-not-interrupt-my-JJ shitlist.

 

So sorry you had to endure that, Toaster Strudel!

[teebax]

I could live the rest of my life without seeing another freaking pitbull case. Thanks for the recap, Toaster. Now I know I can skip that one when I watch tonight (which is, like 8 full hours after you get to see JJ!)

[BubblingKettle]

When the defendant mocked the plaintiff in the hallterview for losing his pants during the bloodbath, I grabbed some tomatoes to toss at my TV screen in fury, but then she said the stupidest thing ever: "Hopefully he'll stick to his embarrassment at his house"  whhhuuuu??? 

When she said that, she proved herself to be a total idiot.  The guy was being attacked, and one of her dogs (either the one she admitted to or the other one) took a swipe or a bite and his pants dropped down.  It's rare the I feel sympathy for anyone on Judge Judy, but I did feel bad for the guy....what a shitty situation that would be: you and your dog are getting attacked, and the damn dog took your pants off for all the neighbors to see.  The defendant was a jerk to mention that.

 

JJ loved sharing laughs with Mr. Pacada, Sr.  A witness she seemed to like!  Unheard of!  She chuckled about Pacada, Jr.'s fast rate of speech, and she even asked his opinion on a photo.  

 

The car repair case....the plaintiff was asked, "How much did you give him, in total?"  And she said that she had it "broken down" but didn't have the total.  Huh?  Isn't that just a case of adding numbers?  If I was fired up enough to sue someone, I think I would have computed the total at some point.  People are strange.  

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

JJ loved sharing laughs with Mr. Pacada, Sr.  A witness she seemed to like!  Unheard of!  She chuckled about Pacada, Jr.'s fast rate of speech, and she even asked his opinion on a photo.

Yes, but his son was a dum-dum. Who leaves a random backpack in a parking space? Why didn't he put the backpack on top of his spare tires? And what was in that backpack to make it so damn heavy that he couldn't have it in his "race car"? Oh, let me guess - an IPad (with 280 billion gigabytes of memory, cost new $1851) a laptop with all his special programs loaded (Grand Theft Auto, Wannabe Edition), his wallet filled with cash (nobody keeps money in a bank, don cha know, that's old skool), and a bag of gold doubloons that he found during his last walk on the beach. Plus it was intentional that the defendent ran his shit ovah - that's good for pain, suffering and punitive damages. (submit random therapy bills)

[One Tough Cookie]

Normally I wouldn't dare call someone "ghetto" but I'll take the word of the expert witness in the hallterview on this one.  I don't think I've ever seen JJ so distracted by an outfit/Halloween costume as much as this one... with jeweled headgear from the 1001 nights... a cheap white synthetic silk top with bare shoulders and a beaded Egyptian collar... and kaleidoscope shorts that were painted on her Jeep bumpers

 

.

I just KNEW, when I saw Queen Esther sashaying down the Nile, er-aisle, that JJ would have something to say about her get up.  Maybe she dressed in such a distracting manner to draw attention away from her conversational skills? 

[AZChristian]

.

I just KNEW, when I saw Queen Esther sashaying down the Nile, er-aisle, that JJ would have something to say about her get up.  Maybe she dressed in such a distracting manner to draw attention away from her conversational skills? 

 

When I saw her, I could see her in my mind's eye sashaying out onto the stage on Maury Povich's show saying, "I make this look goooooooood,"  (As the audience is laughing their heads off.)

[Intocats]

Yes, but his son was a dum-dum. Who leaves a random backpack in a parking space? Why didn't he put the backpack on top of his spare tires? And what was in that backpack to make it so damn heavy that he couldn't have it in his "race car"? Oh, let me guess - an IPad (with 280 billion gigabytes of memory, cost new $1851) a laptop with all his special programs loaded (Grand Theft Auto, Wannabe Edition), his wallet filled with cash (nobody keeps money in a bank, don cha know, that's old skool), and a bag of gold doubloons that he found during his last walk on the beach. Plus it was intentional that the defendent ran his shit ovah - that's good for pain, suffering and punitive damages. (submit random therapy bills)

Yes! Pacada, Junior looked like a deer in the headlights in front of the mighty JJ! I am surprised that she didn't ask him what was in the backpack. I was certainly curious.

 

JJ did like Pacada, Senior! I haven't seen her so delighted by an older man since !Jack! !Jack!

 

A new Judyism today...."Mitzia" (sp). Is that like a kerfuffle?

[Oinky Boinky]

Hi Into cats...

 

Like kerfuffle she has used that word a few times in the previous weeks. 

 

'Metzia is Yiddish for a bargain, a real find, or a lucky break. The word originally comes from Hebrew, and it means "a find."

 

She seems to be using it slightly incorrectly. Maybe schemozzle - 'a confused situation or affair; a mess.' is the word she wants.

[Milz]

Yesterday was the pepper spray festival, today, we have a parade of liars.

 

Liars, Liars, Trees on Fire: I have trees close to the property line and every year during the pruning season, I ask my neighbors if he'd like me to chop anything that overhangs.  One always takes me up on the offer, the other still has not.  I would be mortified if they rang my bell to complain and I didn't immediately get the chain saw or the branch trimmer out to keep them happy.  Sure the plaintiff was thrown out because she's a lying liar that lies, but I'm not sure that I believed the defendant's story about this particular bush burning from some freak firework accident.

 

Predatory Pitbull Pair:  So two pitbulls run out of a front door because they were feeling a little peckish for some Labrador and human flesh and proceed to butcher and devour some unfortunate passers-by.  JJ asks vapid blond defendant how many dogs there were in 50 different ways and defendants insists there was one dog, while the mauled plaintiff insists there were two.  The infuriating defendant claims that she is not responsible for the carnage because (1) the Labrador was off-leash, (2) the plaintiff just went nuts at the pitbull so it's his fault and (3) it was the Labrador attacking.  JJ reads the defendant's own statement to the police where she stated that (1) the Labrador was on a leash and (2) there were indeed two pitbulls.  JJ was so upset at the blatant lies that she ruled for the plaintiff without looking at bills or pictures.  The entitled plaintiff protested that her witness had not been examined, enraging JJ to shout out that she does not question the witnesses of proven liars.  I think she lied about the number of pitbulls to foil animal control because they might have asked that both the canine demons be put down.  When the defendant mocked the plaintiff in the hallterview for losing his pants during the bloodbath, I grabbed some tomatoes to toss at my TV screen in fury, but then she said the stupidest thing ever: "Hopefully he'll stick to his embarrassment at his house"  whhhuuuu??? I became clear that she had been lobotomized out of her verbal, grammar and responsibility lobes, and then all was good and fair in the world, and I made myself a tomato sandwich instead.

 

The second show was pre-empted by Al Sharpton, who is now on my do-not-interrupt-my-JJ shitlist.

 

I'm not sure I believe the tree was set a-fire from a misdirected firework either. But I think JJ's beef was that the trees were on the plaintiff's property and he could do whatever he wanted with the tree parts on his side. Even JJ admitted that what he did looked ugly, but he had the right to do it. I gut feeling about the plaintiffs were they didn't want the trees trimmed at all because they liked how the trees looked from their side and how the trees looked when you drive up to their house.

 

I feel sorry for the pitbull: it's human is a jerk.

[EtheltoTillie]

Hi Into cats...

 

Like kerfuffle she has used that word a few times in the previous weeks. 

 

'Metzia is Yiddish for a bargain, a real find, or a lucky break. The word originally comes from Hebrew, and it means "a find."

 

She seems to be using it slightly incorrectly. Maybe schemozzle - 'a confused situation or affair; a mess.' is the word she wants.

Yes, I think she was using it incorrectly too.  I just rewatched that scene.  She said "you made a metzia--a big deal," actually providing her intended translation. 

 

She probably should have said "tsimmes," which really does mean excessive fuss/a big deal, which is what my mother would have said. (A tsimmes is a mixed up carrot/sweet potato/prune pudding--or ingredients of choice.) 

 

Or maybe she was confusing it with "megillah," which means a long story.  I just want to throw that one in because it ties in with yesterday's Purim/Queen Esther costume!  The Megillah is the book of Esther in the Bible.  You read it aloud on Purim.

[Oinky Boinky]

Thanks Gussie,

I myself have used the term the whole 'megillah' to mean the 'whole ball of wax' but never knew it was Yiddish.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

JJ really had a bug up her ass about the tree lady, but I wonder WHY the guy on the other side would not want those trees so he'd be given a bit of privacy? If the neighbors really ARE batshit crazy, wouldn't you want any screen you could get? 

 

And that whole "I don't read surveys" was just stupid. 

[Toaster Strudel]

The driveway was pretty narrow and it must have been hard to get out of the car, also when backing out of the driveway, it couldn't have been good for visibility of street traffic.

[EtheltoTillie]

When JJ said she doesn't read surveys, maybe she was once again taking the hearsay rule to its ridiculous extreme, as she usually does. In New York State the hearsay rules are not observed in small claims court. There's an interests-of-justice standard, because most litigants are urepresented.   Don't know why she insists on it. Judge Millian allows affidavits from absent witnesses and takes them with a grain of salt.

 

But I suppose it wouldn't have provided her with any information, because she would still need a diagram to show where the trees encroached on the property, and the survey would have to be translated into a diagram form.

Edited November 26, 2014 by GussieK

[BubblingKettle]

Speaking of coining new uses for old words, did anyone catch Queen Ester saying "blase, blase" (should be an acute accent on the 'e') when she meant "blah, blah"? And plaintiff swung a gardening tool at Her Royal Highness and missed, and that's how a total of four car windows got smashed? 

About 10 years ago, I served on a jury and one of the witnesses said "blase blase" (bla-zhay bla-zhay) up on the stand.  She was dead serious.  I remember biting my lip and trying to hide my desire to laugh.  

 

Thank God liars' pants really don't catch on fire, because that beautiful, historical courthouse would have burned to a cinder during that trial.  There were seven or eight witnesses for the defense, and they were all liars and blazhay blah.

[kermitlvr]

I think my favorite quote of the day was, I was trying to be nice since she has a baby with my brother but "I don't know her from a can of paint"

 

The massive teased hair twin has a husband on her.  He was business in the front, party in the back. aka a mullet.  I really thought they were in their late fifties.  

 

My mouth dropped when I saw the little miss sassy trying to talk to JJ as she was being escorted out by Byrd.  Who does she think she is, certainly she thought she was an adult.

 

I also loved how Judy told the husband of the neighbor saving her trees that it was ok for him to talk now that she was no longer in the room.

[Toaster Strudel]

Repo Friends: The plaintiff repossessed a nearly paid for car and was suing for pretty much the value of the car for damages?  How dense can you be?  The biggest surprise was in the hallterview, that the plaintiff and defendant weren't some strangers that didn't know each other from a can of paint, but were actually friends.

 

The Money Not The Stuff Please: The defendant looked very reasonable and willing to give the plaintiff everything he wanted.  The plaintiff, however, seemed to want the money, not the stuff... I think he was thrown for a loop when JJ ruled that he could get the stuff back.  In the hallterview, he tried to paint the defendant as cray-cray, highlighting that he was the biggest lunatic in the relationship.

 

Candy Stealing Grandma: She looked 20 years younger than her chronological age and had her act together.  The plaintiff that wanted his suitcase full of junk back and overslept and missed his plane was out of luck.  "One man's treasure is another man's junk," said JJ, perhaps referring to the suitcase or family jewels, whichever interpretation strikes your fancy.  In the hallterview we find that the suitcase contained a $300 Michael Kors watch and "collectible sneakers," something I will never understand.  Candy Stealing Grandma was right, this young man was privileged and entitled.  His loss was Goodwill's gain.

 

Michael Borselino:  Michael Borselino, Michael Borselino, Michael Borselino, Michael Borselino!  Michael Borselino: "Michael Borselino Michael Borselino," Michael Borselino... Michael Borselino.

[AngelaHunter]

When JJ said she doesn't read surveys

 

I thought she finally said she doesn't understand them.

[Rick Kitchen]

44-year-old ex-husband and his 22-year-old boyfriend living with the ex-wife?  That was an interesting relationship.

 

And that idiot 12-year-old who gave up his accomplice's name only to have his father say his son wasn't there and it was a case of mistaken identity.  No wonder the kid acted like a special little snowflake, his father treated him like one.

Edited November 26, 2014 by Rick Kitchen

[teebax]

Candy Stealing Grandma: She looked 20 years younger than her chronological age and had her act together.  The plaintiff that wanted his suitcase full of junk back and overslept and missed his plane was out of luck.  "One man's treasure is another man's junk," said JJ, perhaps referring to the suitcase or family jewels, whichever interpretation strikes your fancy.  In the hallterview we find that the suitcase contained a $300 Michael Kors watch and "collectible sneakers," something I will never understand.  Candy Stealing Grandma was right, this young man was privileged and entitled.  His loss was Goodwill's gain.

This is strictly anecdotal, but everyone I know who collects sneakers is habitually and chronically broke. For example, my younger sister has hundreds of pairs of Jordans and the like. But when she wanted to come to AZ to spend this Thanksgiving with the family, she got my mom to buy a plane ticket for herself, her baby daddy, and her kid. She asked me first, and I told her hell to the no. The next time she posts a picture on her Facebook wall about her latest sneaker acquisition, I'm should remind her that that behavior is why she's always freaking broke. Of course, then she'd probably take me on JJ to sue me for defamation of character.

 

Can y'all tell how much I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving? BTW, Happy Turkey Day, everyone.

[Brattinella]

Happy Turkey Day to you too, teebax!

[Puffaroo]

Y'know, today it occurred to me that not only should potential litigants view AT LEAST a dozen JJ segments before going on the show, so they know what to expect and what to bring as evidence, but that they also should prepare hallterview speeches for both winning and losing, so they don't paint themselves as complete idiots.

[27bored]

Repo Friends: The plaintiff repossessed a nearly paid for car and was suing for pretty much the value of the car for damages?  How dense can you be?  The biggest surprise was in the hallterview, that the plaintiff and defendant weren't some strangers that didn't know each other from a can of paint, but were actually friends.

 

Yeah, he was getting on my damn nerves.

 

The Money Not The Stuff Please: The defendant looked very reasonable and willing to give the plaintiff everything he wanted.  The plaintiff, however, seemed to want the money, not the stuff... I think he was thrown for a loop when JJ ruled that he could get the stuff back.  In the hallterview, he tried to paint the defendant as cray-cray, highlighting that he was the biggest lunatic in the relationship.

 

Am I the only one who thought the plaintiff sounded like Pete the Puma from those old Bugs Bunny cartoons? He sounded like he was two seconds ago from going, "you better gimme a lotta lumps, a whole lotta lumps...uuuhhheeeeeeeee"

[BubblingKettle]

I was kind of bored with the first episode today.  Next 4 pm episode: a fight between Dick Gregory 1 and 2.  Looks like a good one!

 

2nd episode--Ms. Skelton, a guidance counselor for nearly 30 years in a CA school district...that is truly a daily work of mercy.  Now, little Mr. Brinton, who she cared for like a Godson, is now suing her for a bag of crap?  And why did that other little shit have such high-priced belongings, yet could only pay to sleep on a section of someone's floor?  Nevermind...I know the answer.  Oh, and those boys were dead behind the eyes.

 

Toaster Strudel-- you summarized the Michael Borselino case really well.  That name is an earworm.

[WhoaWhoKnew]

Everytime the 18 year old who was renting floor space said his belongings were neatly packed away in boxes I had to roll my eyes.

No one who wakes up at 7:15 to make a 7:50 flight has anything in their life organized.

Edited November 27, 2014 by WhoaWhoKnew