All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[AngelaHunter]

My husband and I discussed getting a new mattress  after so long I'd rather not say because it's embarassing, but we didn't discuss particular brands. I had no idea that mattresses come in nearly as many models as do cars and some of them cost nearly as much. But I can honestly say that not once with any short-term boyfriends I had (and with whom I never even lived) did we ever talk about various brand names of mattress and what would be the most suitable for the health-conscious. It just isn't something that came up, but that's just me!

[dwarmed]

@AngelaHunter I’m guessing you didn’t accept car maintenance as an appropriate second date gift, either. Or talked about all the indifferences you had in your long-term relationship of three weeks  ?

[Sarcastico]

Or compare your arrest records.

[AngelaHunter]

2 hours ago, Sarcastico said:

Or compare your arrest records.

As twee as that would have been - certainly not. They were gentlemen who waited at least three weeks to start asking me to put motorcyles and cars for them "underneath" my name because they had bad credit/no job/just got out of jail/had a "situation" or "discrepancy" with their banks or owed back child support to more than one baby mama. But I loooooved them!!!

10 hours ago, dwarmed said:

I’m guessing you didn’t accept car maintenance as an appropriate second date gift, either.

I wish I had thought of asking! And we were never in "relationships." We were just "talking."

[Silver Raven]

3 hours ago, Sarcastico said:

Or compare your arrest records.

Or tattoos

Edited July 18, 2018 by Silver Raven

[AngelaHunter]

One would think that a repeat view of these cases would lessen the impact, but not so. "Amanda" who is 21 and has been arrested at least 3 times, suing the man of her dreams, the eye-rolling, grammatically-challenged "Tommy" who looks about 50 and who thinks he's a comedian, is more sordid this time around. How is that? But anyway, as Sarcastico mentioned, these two CAN compare their arrest records, something which should have cemented their love affair and bonded them. Sadly, this was not so, and a 'physical altercation' called an abrupt halt to their billing and cooing. I guess so, anyway.

And Mr. Musgrove, the dull-eyed, small-brained petty crook and waste of oxygen who lugs around a partially-deflated beach ball under his ill-fitting tee shirt is more despicable this time in his stupid, dumb scamming of plaintiff. He belongs in jail, that lowlife POS. I hope he got his 'future daughter-in-law' to the welfare office in good time. The kids need to start their marriage off on the right foot.

[Rabbittron]

 did anybody watch today's reruns and catch the guy's name whose wife was murdered? I was just listening to it cuz I was in the kitchen cooking.

[AngelaHunter]

You mean that revolting, dentally-challenged, douchebag-haired slob, who only realized he was grief-stricken 8 months after his beloved wife was murdered? Why yes - Thomas "TJ" Ruppel, apparently God's gift to womanhood.

[Rabbittron]

11 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

You mean that revolting, dentally-challenged, douchebag-haired slob, who only realized he was grief-stricken 8 months after his beloved wife was murdered? Why yes - Thomas "TJ" Ruppel, apparently God's gift to womanhood.

Thank you very much AngelaHunter?

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

On 7/18/2018 at 3:06 PM, Silver Raven said:

On 7/18/2018 at 11:54 AM, Sarcastico said:

Or compare your arrest records

Or tattoos

Y'all are terrible people. You stole my responses. I'm suing you for 47 cents for my responses being stole-un plus poonative damages in the amount of the $5000 maximum for wasting my time. 

[Silver Raven]

51 minutes ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

Y'all are terrible people. You stole my responses. I'm suing you for 47 cents for my responses being stole-un plus poonative damages in the amount of the $5000 maximum for wasting my time. 

If you don't stop harassing me over the money I owe you, I will sue you for emotional distress.

[AngelaHunter]

2 hours ago, Silver Raven said:

If you don't stop harassing me over the money I owe you, I will sue you for emotional distress.

I will also decide to be "revengeful" for you sending me harassing texes, demanding I pay back the money I borrowed to you so I'm not going to pay you back. Also because it was a gift. I might even have to take out an order for you to "reframe" from texxing me.

[SandyToes]

It's truly a shame that the show is not nearly as entertaining as this forum!

Producers, are you listening?!

[khyber]

On 7/20/2018 at 9:50 PM, AngelaHunter said:

I will also decide to be "revengeful" for you sending me harassing texes, demanding I pay back the money I borrowed to you so I'm not going to pay you back. Also because it was a gift. I might even have to take out an order for you to "reframe" from texxing me.

Isn't that textases ?

[AngelaHunter]

35 minutes ago, khyber said:

Isn't that textases ?

Nope. Could you be thinking of something like "kidses'" as in, "He stold my kidses' toys"? For "texts" the second "t" must always be removed. Texes or texas (depending on regional dialect, accent, level of intoxication of course) is fine.

I know the rules of litigant-speak are arbitrary, sometimes baffling and subject to change without notice but we must do our best to stay current (our definition of "current" and not that of litigants where that word refers to an event in the past.) Example: "Where were you living last June?" "I was currently homeless at that time."

I was currently minorly intoxicated last night and writing that made my headache worse(er).

Edited July 22, 2018 by AngelaHunter

[funky-rat]

On ‎7‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 11:54 AM, AngelaHunter said:

I know the rules of litigant-speak are arbitrary, sometimes baffling and subject to change without notice but we must do our best to stay current (our definition of "current" and not that of litigants where that word refers to an event in the past.) Example: "Where were you living last June?" "I was currently homeless at that time."

What irritates me is the use of "whenever", when it clearly is incorrect.  "Whenever we went to school".  "Whenever we left for the party".  ARGH!  It's WHEN!!!  WHEN we left.....  

[Sarcastico]

Quote

I'm suing you for 47 cents for my responses being stole-un plus poonative damages in the amount of the $5000 maximum for wasting my time. 

If you do, I'll explicit nude photos of you on the internet!

[yes, that is right - "explicit" is a verb in Judyland]

[chenoa333]

Anybody remember the episode with defendant Duane Brooks Jr being sued by his ex girlfriend for borrowin' him some money? It's a classic still available on Youtube: S19 E04. I have no idea how to post it on here cause I be computerally unedumacated on that sort of thang. 

Anyway Mr. Brooks told JJ he didn't have a job cause he be gettin student loans. Of course he wasn't actually going to school...just living off Bryd and JJ.  

[Cobalt Stargazer]

5 hours ago, Sarcastico said:

If you do, I'll explicit nude photos of you on the internet!

[yes, that is right - "explicit" is a verb in Judyland]

Just be sure no one makes a statement under perjury in your case, because JJ will rule against you. She will also rule against you if you say the plaintiff seems like the type to bite their own dog, which today's defendant said about the guy who was suing him.

[chenoa333]

I truly believe the peeps here on the JJ forum CAN start a whole new language here in the good old USA. 

We need to come up with a name for this new language.Fuck the millenials. We'll have their heads spinnin'!

My personal favorite thus far is "poonative"! Love love love it! And I will forever be usin' "janky ass". TM AngelaHunter❤

[AngelaHunter]

13 hours ago, chenoa333 said:

And I will forever be usin' "janky ass". TM AngelaHunter

Oh, gee, thanks, but (to use the words of most defendants) "Wasn't me!" Someone who appeared on the show posted here, complaining about how janky-ass and... something or other... the show is. I think she said she was going to sue JJ... I forget the details. ETA: Just remembered: She called the staff "Janky masons."

 

21 hours ago, funky-rat said:

ARGH!  It's WHEN!!!  WHEN we left.....

I hate that too. But nothing sets my teeth on edge like "had came" and "I seen". As someone said, that will never end with, "the inside of a book."

 

Anyway, I was just watching a case - new to me - and something just came over me and made me leave the episode to post this:

Gimme a head with hair
Long, beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there
Shoulder length or longer (Hair!)
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair, hair, hair, hair

 - credit The Cowsills

Edited July 24, 2018 by AngelaHunter
I still got it wrong! I better knock off the booze before I end up grabbing some firewood and busting out the neighbour's windshield!

[Guest]

22 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Just remembered: She called the staff "Janky masons."

 

Anyway, I was just watching a case - new to me - and something just came over me and made me leave the episode to post this:

Gimme a head with hair
Long, beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there
Shoulder length or longer (Hair!)
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair, hair, hair, hair

 - credit The Cowsills

 

Janky masons?  I think my husbands' uncle belonged to that group.  They were always trying to get him to join but...that illuminati stuff made him edgy.

Also, sometime when nothing else is going on remind me to tell you my story about the Cowsills. 

Edited July 25, 2018 by PsychoKlown
TMI

[AngelaHunter]

30 minutes ago, PsychoKlown said:

Also, sometime when nothing else is going on remind me to tell you my story about the Cowsills. 

You have dirt on the Cowsills?? I'll be looking for the story in "Small Talk."

I got so excited today when I saw we were getting one of my favorite kind of cases - Janky ass, dopey lawyer who has been practicing for 32 years (minus some months he was disbarred), but it never occurs to him to get a retainer agreement with his client, the def because - like every other nitwit here - he says, "I trusted him" and tries to fool JJ by passing up an emailed bill instead. That doesn't count as a retainer agreement? Oh. He informs JJ he came up with an "ingenious" plan to get rid of squatting, parasitic tenant of defs. Ingenious, indeed, but maybe misguided as he expected said parasite/leech to pay def. 3K.  Parasite never pays. I guess that came as a huge surprise to a lawyer of such long experience. More lawyer cases please!!

I enjoyed that case more than I did "Sunday Dinner" with daughter suing Daddy Gant. Daddy comes to her house (which he don't do often) and she asks him to stay for dinner.  They shop for food and he buys a big bottle of akahol, all of which he drinks even though he takes medication and isn't suppose to drink akahol at all. Then estranged mom comes over while daughter is cooking and getting her sister to braid her hair. Daddy really needs another whole bottle of akahol (his favorite kind, Nerky Jerky or something like that) so mom takes him out to buy it. Daughter sees the akahol in his hand and orders him out of her house (as I would). Daddy disapproves of such disrespect and swings the akahol bottle, smashing daughter's 55" TV. Glass flies everywhere with his 3-year old granddaughter standing right there. Daddy says daughter smashed her own TV and tells JJ he's a "grown man" and should be able to get piss drunk and belligerent whenever he likes - okay he didn't use those words but that's what it comes to. I know the type all too well.  JJ informs him that just because someone is old doesn't mean they are grown up. Ah, family dinners are the best!

[AZChristian]

5 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

akahol

Actually pronounced "akahaw" . . . 

[Cobalt Stargazer]

1 hour ago, AngelaHunter said:

 Daddy really needs another whole bottle of akahol (his favorite kind, Nerky Jerky or something like that) so mom takes him out to buy it. Daughter sees the akahol in his hand and orders him out of her house (as I would). Daddy disapproves of such disrespect and swings the akahol bottle, smashing daughter's 55" TV.

I was dying every time she said akahol or akahaw or whatever it was. Enunciate, lady!

[insomniac]

PsychoKlown, the song "Hair" is actually from the Broadway musical of the same name. The Cowsills did record it, though, later on.

Edited July 25, 2018 by insomniac
incorrect info

[SRTouch]

16 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

I got so excited today when I saw we were getting one of my favorite kind of cases - Janky ass, dopey lawyer who has been practicing for 32 years (minus some months he was disbarred), but it never occurs to him to get a retainer agreement with his client, the def because - like every other nitwit here - he says, "I trusted him" and tries to fool JJ by passing up an emailed bill instead. That doesn't count as a retainer agreement? Oh. He informs JJ he came up with an "ingenious" plan to get rid of squatting, parasitic tenant of defs. Ingenious, indeed, but maybe misguided as he expected said parasite/leech to pay def. 3K.  Parasite never pays. I guess that came as a huge surprise to a lawyer of such long experience. More lawyer cases please!!

Yep, we need a reel of nothing but lawyer cases (real lawyers, though, not pretend lawyers... I still doubt driver/lawyer/litigator from TPC was an actual law school grad.... oh, and definitely no Levin) - somehow I think I missed this is one first time around, as I don't remember this guy or the daughter suing pops for smashing her tv.

[SRTouch]

15 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

I was dying every time she said akahol or akahaw or whatever it was. Enunciate, lady!

Thank goodness for CC! Even with JJ asking WTH tipsy pops was drinking I would have no idea without trusty CC.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, insomniac said:

PsychoKlown, the song "Hair" is actually from the Broadway musical of the same name. The Cowsills did record it, though, later on.

Good info.

My story has to do with a funeral.

[AngelaHunter]

3 hours ago, SRTouch said:

 I still doubt driver/lawyer/litigator from TPC was an actual law school grad..

Very last in his class? Just squeaked through to meet some quota? However, considering the lawyers we see on these court shows I have no problem believing he's a lawyer who is so incompetent he has to be a glorified taxi driver to make ends meet. He just likes to drive people around! Of course. Who doesn't?

 

3 hours ago, SRTouch said:

oh, and definitely no Levin)

Right. Plaintiff is just an idiot, not a lowdown, sleazy scumbag.

3 hours ago, SRTouch said:

Thank goodness for CC! Even with JJ asking WTH tipsy pops was drinking I would have no idea without trusty CC.

I never need CC for this show, but I should have turned it on for this case and found what "NJ" means because I'm pretty sure it's not what I heard plaintiff call it - "Nerky Jerky" (at least I've never seen such at any liquor store around me and I'm there quite often). Is anyone familiar with this beverage? I need to know what it is.

[SRTouch]

10 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

I never need CC for this show, but I should have turned it on for this case and found what "NJ" means because I'm pretty sure it's not what I heard plaintiff call it - "Nerky Jerky" (at least I've never seen such at any liquor store around me and I'm there quite often). Is anyone familiar with this beverage? I need to know what it is.

As I recall, CC translated her mumble as E&J. Not being much of a drinker, I had to google it - says it's a popular low cost brandy.   https://www.influenster.com/reviews/e-j-brandy See, CC is your friend... now you know a cheap brandy that, according to the reviews, does the job of getting you drunk

[Spunkygal]

16 hours ago, PsychoKlown said:

Good info.

My story has to do with a funeral.

(Arms folded, toe tapping) okay, you janky mason, where is the story? Back in the day I had a ridiculous crush on the Cowsills. Don't make me come over there and knock out your toof. 

Edited July 26, 2018 by Spunkygal

[AngelaHunter]

5 hours ago, SRTouch said:

. now you know a cheap brandy that, according to the reviews, does the job of getting you drunk

Oh, thank you! He drank a whole bottle of 40% brandy! That would have landed most people in the ER, but not Daddy. He wanted another bottle. Wow.

5 hours ago, SRTouch said:

cheap brandy that, according to the reviews, does the job of getting you drunk

The good reviews mostly seemed to come from people using it for baking and the set who mixes brandy with Coke. Ew. But as you say, (even here the "VSOP" is only 27$)it's the thing if you need to  get drunk in a hurry and on the cheap.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Spunkygal said:

(Arms folded, toe tapping) okay, you janky mason, where is the story? Back in the day I had a ridiculous crush on the Cowsills. Don't make me come over there and knock out your toof. 

Posted in Small Talk SpunkyGal.

So you're a crazy fan of the Cowsills? 

May I interest you in a parka?

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote

just be sure no one makes a statement under perjury in your case, because JJ will rule against you. She will also rule against you if you say the plaintiff seems like the type to bite their own dog, which today's defendant said about the guy who was suing him.

**hangs head** I have actually bitten my own dog before. I have a 12 1/2 year old pug who looks eggsxactly like my avatar. She should have been named Tigger because she has the energy of a puppy. She was a semi-rescue, given to me by a family who was moving that had a houseful of neglected dogs so she had some behavior issues. She had a tendency to nip me on the mouth when she got worked up (not hard, as the poor thing only has a few toofies after the vet pulled the rotten ones but enough to piss me off). So one day she got excited over something and I was trying to hold her and she was licking me and nipped me on the mouth. So I lost my shit and bit her on the ear (not hard but play acting). That dog went batcrap wacky and ran all over the house like a bottle rocket had flown up her butt. Never nipped me again. 

Quote

Yep, we need a reel of nothing but lawyer cases (real lawyers, though, not pretend lawyers... I still doubt driver/lawyer/litigator from TPC was an actual law school grad.... oh, and definitely no Levin) -

It's like some of these lawyers went to lawyering school outside the US!! Probably at Janky Lawyer School and Dental Clinic. 

And just because I'm cool like dat, I'm buying you all fuzzy blond wigs and cute little gold bow nose rings for the holidays. 

[AngelaHunter]

1 hour ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

And just because I'm cool like dat, I'm buying you all fuzzy blond wigs and cute little gold bow nose rings for the holidays.

If you're feeling generous (did you get a settlement, a lump-sum payment from welfare or get your "taxes back"?) what I really need is a big-ass chest tat with a misspelled, really deep quote to show everyone just who I am. It's really urgent, and I promise to pay you back.

[dwarmed]

@AngelaHunter When you get that big-ass chest tat, make sure to hesitate to explain it when people ask, claiming it's too complicated or an inside joke. Because nothing says 'I value my privacy' like an exposed chest tattoo.

[SandyToes]

3 hours ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

hangs head** I have actually bitten my own dog before. I have a 12 1/2 year old pug who looks eggsxactly like my avatar. She should have been named Tigger because she has the energy of a puppy. She was a semi-rescue, given to me by a family who was moving that had a houseful of neglected dogs so she had some behavior issues. She had a tendency to nip me on the mouth when she got worked up (not hard, as the poor thing only has a few toofies after the vet pulled the rotten ones but enough to piss me off). So one day she got excited over something and I was trying to hold her and she was licking me and nipped me on the mouth. So I lost my shit and bit her on the ear (not hard but play acting). That dog went batcrap wacky and ran all over the house like a bottle rocket had flown up her butt. Never nipped me again

I have had the most trying of days, and am using all my usual "remedies" to no avail.  This, however, has me cracking up!  Even shared it with Mr. Toes. Thank you, Patti, for saving my day!   And I would imagine, yes, that your wee pup would go a bit wacky!

1 hour ago, dwarmed said:

Because nothing says 'I value my privacy' like an exposed chest tattoo.

"What are YOU staring at?"   Whaddya think, idiot?

[AngelaHunter]

I never knew a person could acquire godparents when that person is already well into adulthood/near middle age. I know a lady who is 82. We're friends. I need to know if I can tell her she's my "godmother" from now on and I will expect her to "take care of me" - y'know, like give me her credit card when I need it, stuff like that. I've done things for her, so when she asks me to pay the bill, I"ll say, "What bill?"  When she drags me into court (with my giant, white Shirley Temple wig, nose ring and really low-cut, off-the-shoulder sweater, the better to display my chest tats and bra straps), I'll say, "Hey, it is what it is!

[dwarmed]

What really made that deadbeat goddaughter’s case sing was saying ‘supposably’ several times, with emphasis, to give you time to savor her stupidity. 

[AZChristian]

10 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

I never knew a person could acquire godparents when that person is already well into adulthood/near middle age. I know a lady who is 82. We're friends. I need to know if I can tell her she's my "godmother" from now on and I will expect her to "take care of me" - y'know, like give me her credit card when I need it, stuff like that. I've done things for her, so when she asks me to pay the bill, I"ll say, "What bill?"  When she drags me into court (with my giant, white Shirley Temple wig, nose ring and really low-cut, off-the-shoulder sweater, the better to display my chest tats and bra straps), I'll say, "Hey, it is what it is!

And if the godmother won't help you out, her kids . . . your godbrothers and godsisters . . . surely will.

[AngelaHunter]

I must say I was surprised to hear this "Not my fault... he knew my situation... oh poor me" excuse to weasel out of a financial and contractual obligation, from a mature business man and not a millennial snowflake whiner. Mr. Caravel (Sp?) is a contractor who has (or HAD)five tractor trailers, including the one he bought from def. Each of them generates 150,000 - 200,00K per year or so he says. Yet, he couldn't pay the def the 2500$/per month payments for the 40K truck he bought from him. Business was slow - not my fault! My accountant/manager whatever was a crook/idiot who ran the business into the ground! I had no clue about all that, so not my fault! I called def and explained my situation! He should have let me keep the truck for free! He didn't want to (even though I used it for a year and generated that 150K) so it's not my fault! He knew my situation! It is what it is! Either he's utterly shameless or doesn't have the brains to feel shame at shafting his friend.

We had little hobbit, Mr. Luera, who wants 3,000$ for non-running old car with a blown tranny that got hit and got a dented fender when it actually ran (the accident didnt' cause the tranny to blow),  by the dull-eyed, really dumb "Uh huh, uh, huh" liar, Mr. Minor, who somehow got away with lying to the police about his address. Mr. Minor is countersuing for the damage to HIS car, when he never ever bothered to claim before because all the "internal damage" to it was only discovered by him 6 months after the accident. Plaintiff was lucky to get the 500$ he got for his old beater. Quel bore.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

On 7/26/2018 at 6:29 PM, AngelaHunter said:

If you're feeling generous (did you get a settlement, a lump-sum payment from welfare or get your "taxes back"?) what I really need is a big-ass chest tat with a misspelled, really deep quote to show everyone just who I am. It's really urgent, and I promise to pay you back.

No, silly, it's from my dis-ability. I got me some azzma from too much hotboxing in my cousin's vee-hikle. Plus my back hurts so that has to count for somethin, y'all. So yea, that chest-ticle tat is righteously yours, just so you pay me back by buying me some hair at the bodega and babysitting my cousin's kids for a year or so. I think there's maybe four or six of them, but they don't eat much. 

Now, what phrase to tattoo? Hmmm, something profound like "Fear is Nothing but Misplaced Truth" or "Life is But a Dream" or maybe something from your favoritest song "Y'all So Crazee in Here"?  And don't tell anybody what it means so they can stare at your breasteses while we are on JJ.  That Byrd is some kinda fine!!

[AngelaHunter]

1 hour ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

No, silly, it's from my dis-ability.

Didn't you trip on some stairs 5 years ago, and that gave you angora-phobia and a sore back that made you totally disabled, well, except for the landscaping and construction work you do "on the side" but I know you only lift the light cee-ment blocks so it's all good!

I'm just catching up and I love when Byrd cracks up! He did so in the case where Mr. Dixon, who seems to be linguistically challenged, said he was chillin' and kickin' it at the motorcyle club and discussing how he became "cracked" and asked the plaintiff for some money. She loaned him 1000$ and he said he'd "holla her up" later, (which is where JJ asked Byrd to interpret and he began giggling) but surprise! he never did holla her up even though he's a 54 year old man and says he owns his own trucking business. I guess business was bad since he was cracked. Plaintiff came into the club and disrespected him by knocking his hat off, you see, so he decided that breech of clubhouse etiquette negated the agreement to pay her back. The fact that she came into the club irate and knocked his hat off due to him refusing to pay the money he owed is immaterial. IIRC, he was countersuing for defamation, which may have caused another laughing fit from JJ and Byrd.

[dwarmed]

That was quite a man bun on the defendant’s husband. He looked like a bridesmaid. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

16 hours ago, dwarmed said:

That was quite a man bun on the defendant’s husband. He looked like a bridesmaid. 

But never a bride!

I'll let myself out . . . . 

[AngelaHunter]

I only mention this rerun because I posted in small talk about a movie I saw called, "The Psycho She Met Online" and coincidentally we had Shadi, the online psycho, yesterday. I rewatched it just for the WTF-ery, although looney-tunes Shadi's multitudinous repetitions of "buuuuurday" made me want to tear my skin off.

[AngelaHunter]

Yes, I  know. I'm serial posting and really need to get a life. Here's "my situation." I'm in a time of need. I really need a new IPhone7Plus. If I can't get in touch with Mr. Brown, who's going to help me out? Anyone here have a big heart??

[DoctorK]

AngelaHunter just call Byrd, he is a softy.

[Rabbittron]

 I love Byrd's expression when Judge Judy said she would swear on Byrd's life.