All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Toaster Strudel]

Clown Car House Rental - Or "Human Menagerie?" Boring but JJ ruled for a renter for a change.  One gavel.

 

Boring Stepbrothers - Boring bald heads and their boring loan.  One gavel.

 

Second show was repeats!  May sweeps are officially over...

[AngelaHunter]

Second show was repeats!

 

Yes, but it was Ms.Blake, the Garden Hose Lover who is making a fortune as a hair dresser and can afford to raise four children! She was brutally assaulted. BRUTALLY. Her hose was used without her permission! I dunno, but if I were being exposed telling ridiculous lies in front of 10 million people, I like to think I'd wipe that stupid grin off my face and can the dumb sniggering. Of course, all these terrible, horrible thing were being done to her (oh, and she left the evidence of the brutal assault at home) due to racism.

 

Boring Stepbrothers - Boring bald heads and their boring loan.

 

The only interesting part was JJ telling the girlfriend of the creepy def. to "close your mouth." She wasn't saying anything, but her maw was gaping moronically. She may have even been drooling - not sure. When JJ then turned to Byrd and said, "Bryd, would you...." I got really excited hoping she was going to finish it with "....go over there and slam that dumbbitch's piehole closed?"

[MrsEVH]

There's a huge segment of our population that feels as if every slight, every issue, requires some kind of financial compensation. They get your order at McDonald's wrong? It's because they're racist, (or sexist or a homophobe or fat shaming or skinny shaming or just wanting to piss you off ON PURPOSE), Somebody look at you weird? It's sexual harassment. Your friend come by your house to collect on a debt because you stopped answering your phone? Harassment and emotional damn damages. Where did our society get the idea that life was supposed to be totally smooth sailing at all times? SOMETIMES SH*T JUST HAPPENS JJ Litigants!  Particularly when you make bad decisions like you move in some guy you've dated for a month or pay his child support or obtain a cell phone for somebody that can't get one because they didn't pay their own bill! What do you THINK is going to happen? What's going to happen if you have several 'designer" bags or an Ipad or laptop but you can't pay your rent? I wish the Common Sense Police would open up a can of Whoop A$$ on the majority of these dingbats or else their mamas would quit teaching them they are the Special Snowflakes of the world who aren't responsible for their own bad decisions!

 

And after you get off my lawn. . . it's back to the show. . . lol

I LOVE IT!!!

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

ItsHelloPattiagain - I wish I could give your post 100 "likes".

Thanks y'all for the love - Let me just say - I've made a whole lot of mistakes in my life. . and maybe it was my Ex-Marine dad but I was taught to suck it up and learn from my mistakes and suffer the consequences if I didn't. 

 

 

Yes, but it was Ms.Blake, the Garden Hose Lover who is making a fortune as a hair dresser and can afford to raise four children! She was brutally assaulted. BRUTALLY.

Aargh the Hose Lady! I'm not a fan of reruns but it was worth it just to watch her making shit up and acting the fool again. Man that attack was BRUTAAAAAHLLLL! (so brutal that she forgot her report and just the memory of that attack made her giggle inappropriately) And JJ didn't even mention how BRILLIANT her 3 year old was to make up something like what the defendant told him that day (can't remember what it was right now, somebody refresh my memory por favor). That kid is hosing his way right into Harvard even as we speak!!! 

[AngelaHunter]

Patti, I think you must be my long-lost sister because everything you said is what I've been saying for years, with increasing frustration at the "No matter what I did (anything from rudeness to mass murder), it's someone else's fault" mindset of today.

 

And JJ didn't even mention how BRILLIANT her 3 year old was to make up something like what the defendant told him that day

 

To refresh your memory, the 3 year old told his Mom that the defendant said he hates her, and was going to really hurt her, but not today.

 He obviously found time that very day though, hence the brutal beating.

[AngelaHunter]

So the divorce case today wasn't exactly riveting, but it was nice to have a break from our usual fare and hear nothing about baseball bats, fist fights in the street, keyed cars and attempted strangulation.

 

Trailer Park Romance Gone Bad: The usual unmarrieds - these ones rather long in the tooth for this shit -  fighting over who replaced the light switch and who bought the cold cuts. Where do people get their nicknames? Eileen "Margaret", e.g.? Oh, and Margaret's witness (who never got to speak) was damned scary looking.

 

Step-Siblings: I wish we could have heard why plaintiff was so often hospitalized. She's a 30 year old woman, who apparently never really had a job but spent 3 years being "groomed" for the real estate business while being supported by Dad. While camping on his sofa she had the brilliant idea to have a kid to share the pull-out sofa with her and let Dad support both of them. Whatever. The whole thing was a massive mess. Caretakers, desktop computer, toys, second-hand sofa and an invisible television. I dunno.

 

 

 

 

[SandyToes]

Loving the car hits brick wall case.  Best litigant name in a long time:  Tashma Body.  Sounds like the name of a rap song.  And totally groovin' on her hair!  As a WASP with boring, dishwater blond hair, I am amazed at the architectural hairstyles that others can create. Not being cheeky here - I really am amazed.

 

Trailer Park seniors - I got the distinct impression the lady was a scammer.

 

ETA: Oooh oooh oooh!  "Did you have a triple shot of espresso today?" "No, actually it was five." in the previews for 'next time!'

Edited May 22, 2015 by SandyToes

[AngelaHunter]

Tashma Body.

 

How did I forget Tashma Body? I thought it looked like she forgot to take the giant rollers out of her hair before her appearance here. Do rollers still exist? Loved how plaintiff threw her hands up in exasperation at being asked to supply evidence.

 

"Did you have a triple shot of espresso today?"

 

That's a repeat. If you missed it the first time, all I can say is: Don't miss it this time! Major cray-cray infusion.

[SandyToes]

Espresso Gal is one of my most faves. Just her whole attitude. hee.

[27bored]

Loving the car hits brick wall case.  Best litigant name in a long time:  Tashma Body.  Sounds like the name of a rap song.  And totally groovin' on her hair!  As a WASP with boring, dishwater blond hair, I am amazed at the architectural hairstyles that others can create. Not being cheeky here - I really am amazed.

 

She looked like that little girl in Matilda. The one with the glasses.

[announcergirl]

The story was strange with the half daughter and brother. Why wouldn't the father answer her call? Why was the brother so tight towards her? I'd be curious to know the age difference. I do believe she had it pretty good with the dad; she was trying to get her bed and sofa back. Dad also had other property. Coo-coo bird didn't file the deed. I dig there is a tax on a gift but up until August he was taking care of her. She is very pretty by the way, but I also wonder why she is sick and does not work. Interesting. Oh, beware of caregivers. Not all, but there are some sneaky, greedy people.

[Toaster Strudel]

I loved that hair!  Giant peppercorns?  It was awesome, and she really rocked it!  And she dressed all business with that hairdo.  Five stars!

[announcergirl]

^^^^Funny you should say that. My sister in law was a "care giver", and all of a sudden she wanted to get her notary license...

One of my close friends is going through something right now with her now deceased uncle's estate and a "caregiver" sent over by the church. Checks written to pay herself way more than originally discussed, checks forged for her bills in large amounts, and so, so much more. There is a special place in hell for this chick. He was fairly well off and a decorated vet - totally pilfering all his shit the whole time.

^^^^Funny you should say that. My sister in law was a "care giver", and all of a sudden she wanted to get her notary license...

One of my close friends is going through something right now with her now deceased uncle's estate and a "caregiver" sent over by the church. Checks written to pay herself way more than originally discussed, checks forged for her bills in large amounts, and so, so much more. There is a special place in hell for this chick. He was fairly well off and a decorated vet - totally pilfering all his shit the whole time.

[teebax]

I loved that hair!  Giant peppercorns?  It was awesome, and she really rocked it!  And she dressed all business with that hairdo.  Five stars!

I was surfing online while the case was playing and didn't actually look up until after the first commercial. My initial thought was that she'd forgotten to take out her rollers. Once I looked more closely, I really liked her hair too.

I went natural around the first of the year. My hair is still at mini Afro length. I can't wait until it's long enough to do something that creative with it. And I won't give a damn if people like it or not! I thought she looked great.

Wait. This is the JJ forum. Change that to I thought she "lookeded" great.

[Brattinella]

I was always quite fond of the huge afro style, had a bf who had one.  Funnily enough though, he was hispanic.

[DebbieW]

I love a good JJ smackdown as much as anyone, but I’m frequently annoyed by the total dismissal of a suit because the plaintiff doesn’t have evidence to her satisfaction.  Just saw the case where the guy fell asleep at the wheel leading to an accident, and the woman was found to have “contraband” in her purse during the accident investigation.  He paid for her lawyer (and the woman acknowledged that) but he had gathered money from various sources to pay the lawyer so he didn’t have a receipt, but he had a text message from the defendant saying she would pay him back.  Case dismissed.  Yes, the plaintiff deserved a bitch slapping for being stupid, but the defendant got away without any consequences. 

[Ouisch]

I was surfing online while the case was playing and didn't actually look up until after the first commercial. My initial thought was that she'd forgotten to take out her rollers. Once I looked more closely, I really liked her hair too.

I went natural around the first of the year. My hair is still at mini Afro length. I can't wait until it's long enough to do something that creative with it. And I won't give a damn if people like it or not! I thought she looked great.

Wait. This is the JJ forum. Change that to I thought she "lookeded" great.

 

I, too, had to do a few double-takes at her hair (she had decorative thingies hanging on the large tufts/curls?), but it really suited her and was very becoming. I've had really fine, straight hair all my life, sort of like Marcia Brady. It is naturally blonde and has remained so even as I enter menopause (at a recent haircut the stylist commented in surprise, "You don't have any gray!"), which is the only quality I've ever liked about my hair. So I've always admired anyone with a head full of thick hair that they could arrange into all sorts of amazing styles. The style that bothers me, though, on JJ litigants is when they have very tight cornrows so that you can see shiny scalp in between the rows....my brain keeps silently yelling "Traction alopecia! Stop tight braiding!" simply because I have more scalp showing these days as my hair thins and I hate it. Maybe it's because I'm OCD, but sometimes I can't help but focus on things like injurious hair styles or litigants that continually cock their head to one side during their testimony and won't "even it up" by leaning toward the other side even once.....

[Brattinella]

I, too, had to do a few double-takes at her hair (she had decorative thingies hanging on the large tufts/curls?), but it really suited her and was very becoming. I've had really fine, straight hair all my life, sort of like Marcia Brady. It is naturally blonde and has remained so even as I enter menopause (at a recent haircut the stylist commented in surprise, "You don't have any gray!"), which is the only quality I've ever liked about my hair. So I've always admired anyone with a head full of thick hair that they could arrange into all sorts of amazing styles. The style that bothers me, though, on JJ litigants is when they have very tight cornrows so that you can see shiny scalp in between the rows....my brain keeps silently yelling "Traction alopecia! Stop tight braiding!" simply because I have more scalp showing these days as my hair thins and I hate it. Maybe it's because I'm OCD, but sometimes I can't help but focus on things like injurious hair styles or litigants that continually cock their head to one side during their testimony and won't "even it up" by leaning toward the other side even once.....

 

Oh My God!  I always suspected there was such a thing as Traction Alopecia, seeing so many women with LOTS of baldness, but it was never confirmed til now!  Thank you, Ouisch!

[bref]

I worked at a Domino's for years, where I was required to pull my hair back tightly so it would fit under my cap. I now have hair that is thinned far beyond what it should be. The struggle is real. :(

[califred]

I'm on vacation and got to see a rerun with Shit-Zu ... The defendant threatened to sue Judge Judy at least three times for calling him a charlatan.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

I, too, had to do a few double-takes at her hair (she had decorative thingies hanging on the large tufts/curls?), but it really suited her and was very becoming. I've had really fine, straight hair all my life, sort of like Marcia Brady. It is naturally blonde and has remained so even as I enter menopause (at a recent haircut the stylist commented in surprise, "You don't have any gray!"), which is the only quality I've ever liked about my hair. So I've always admired anyone with a head full of thick hair that they could arrange into all sorts of amazing styles

You described my hair to a T (except color - I have a nice brown with red highlights that I've never dyed with probably about six grey hairs and I'm 56). So I also love to see the amazing things some of our fine African Americans ladies can do with their hair and Roller Hair was a keeper. I hadn't even seen the case yet and I was already anticipating her fine hairdid and it certainly did not disappoint.

 

The best is on Saturdays around here when the girls get their hair braided the day before church and they can't scratch it from the tightness so they are slapping themselves in the head trying to make the pain go away.  

 

[Brattinella]

Pretty funny, I'm older than you both, and I have maybe15-20 gray hairs.  I ran into a childhood friend when I was about 40-45, and she said "Where is your gray hair?"  I've never dyed it, just wash n wear.

 

Oh, and I gotta tell you:  MAKE THIS WEATHER STOP, PLEASE!!!!

 

That is all.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Brattinella

[SandyToes]

Bratinella, I'm virtually sending you a bottle of wine and a package of Oreos to keep you sane in your weather bunker. Stay safe. We get your weather a little later, and not usually as bad as what you have. Got makin's for soup and tres leches cake all ready for a day spent in the rain.  I also have  my box of Clairol Perfect 10 in Butterscotch all ready to go.  Sigh. Need to look spiffy just in case you see Mr. Toes and me on JJ as the nasty landlords, ya' know.

 

Hugs.

Edited May 24, 2015 by SandyToes

[Brattinella]

Bratinella, I'm virtually sending you a bottle of wine and a package of Oreos to keep you sane in your weather bunker. Stay safe. We get your weather a little later, and not usually as bad as what you have. Got makin's for soup and tres leches cake all ready for a day spent in the rain.  I also have  my box of Clairol Perfect 10 in Butterscotch all ready to go.  Sigh. Need to look spiffy just in case you see Mr. Toes and me on JJ as the nasty landlords, ya' know.

 

Hugs.

 

Oh my, what a thoughtful post!  Thank you so much!  Sounds wonderful soup and tres leches cake, thanks for the wine and cookies!!

 

BIG Hugs.

[Guest]

Just chiming in to say I totally agree Tashma Body's (side note: my brain refuses to process that as her real name) hair was BAD ASS.

The cases this week were a big bore-fest. The networks should have scrolled Toaster's recaps instead of the episodes as far as I'm concerned. (I also didn't see any new episodes on Thursday -- they were pre-emptied for a local awards show honoring high school musicals -- a bore-fest with singing.)

Edited May 24, 2015 by Guest

[Brattinella]

"Pre-emptied"!  What a great word! Thanks!

[Guest]

OMG, I didn't even see that, Brattinella! I feel like a Judge Judy litigant!

*shakes fist at auto-correct*

[Brattinella]

No, no!  It's funny as hell, and perfect for the meaning!

[DebbieW]

I have a thick curly hair, but I've fighting gray since I was 25.  *sigh*

 

I have a few episodes to go to wrap up last week and I'm tingling with anticipation over the hairdo!

[AngelaHunter]

"Pre-emptied"!

 

A perfect description of the heads of many litigants. Pre-handedly emptied heads.

[teebax]

I'm on vacation and got to see a rerun with Shit-Zu ... The defendant threatened to sue Judge Judy at least three times for calling him a charlatan.

I'd tune in to watch someone suing JJ. Of course, she'd also still be the judge and would promptly insult them and dismiss the case.

[AngelaHunter]

The defendant threatened to sue Judge Judy at least three times for calling him a charlatan.

 

If I'm remembering that case clearly, a puppymiller calling anyone a charlatan was the most delicious irony.

[Brattinella]

I think she said she did a long stint in Family Court.

[Christina]

I saw that episode last night. The plaintiffs were moving and couldn't take their 5 and 4-year-old pure bred Shih Tzu's with them. They wanted to keep them together and placed an ad on Craigslist. The defendant showed up with his Shih Tzu, they got along, so he took the dogs. A few days later, he posts an ad online selling the dogs. When the plaintiffs asked for them back, he said he would sell them for $500 each.

 

He ended up giving them to his sister-in-law for free, and claimed that the husband abused them because they were afraid of men. The plaintiffs had filed a police report against him saying he had stole the dogs, and he had a counter suit for defamation, which Judge Judy dismissed because she didn't like what he did. Judge Judy said he took them under false pretenses, with the intent to sell them, and called him a charlatan. He then insisted he would sue her for defamation next because he is a business owner.

 

She awarded the plaintiffs $1000, but said she couldn't give them the dogs back, and the sister-in-law seemed to be a good owner.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

 

I do find myself wondering what JJ was like when she had to go before a Judge in her cases as a lawyer. Did she have a lawyer career? Stupid question? What kind of law did she do? In a firm? A prosecutor? Defense lawyer? I may have to google this.

 

She was a family court prosecutor.  She prosecuted child abuse cases and the like.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

The defendant showed up with his Shih Tzu, they got along, so he took the dogs. A few days later, he posts an ad online selling the dogs.

 

Thanks for clarifying. So he's not a puppymiller, but merely a digusting dog peddler. Anyone who pimps living animals on CL is nearly as bad in my books.

 

Was JJ not on today? I got nothing on my brand-new PVR!

Edited May 25, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[Christina]

I had a rerun of a woman who claimed she had 5 espresso shots, but Judge Judy thought she was on drugs and made her take a test. As she was speaking 100 miles a minute, it said under her name "passed drug test." She kept getting mad that JJ wasn't letting her speak, and JJ actually did, before telling her she doesn't get the car back.

 

Then there was a man who took $4k from his step-daughter's bank account, and JJ said she would pay it when a police report was filed, and she would be following up.

 

The second set of reruns just went off and I already forgot what they were.

[califred]

If that woman wAs like that all the time why the hell would you put a loan in your name for her?

Also how bad is her credit if a 9000 down payment is given and she still can't get a loan? Why not just but a 9k car?

[AngelaHunter]

Why not just but a 9k car?

 

You really expect anyone in JJ Land to be that sensible? That's what you and I would do, but these people live in a different dimension of altered reality.

[One Tough Cookie]

I want Judge Judy's life.  Two month of re runs, two weeks of new episodes, and then more re runs.   When  does she actually, you know, WORK????

[AKA...CJ86]

I had a rerun of a woman who claimed she had 5 espresso shots, but Judge Judy thought she was on drugs and made her take a test. As she was speaking 100 miles a minute, it said under her name "passed drug test." She kept getting mad that JJ wasn't letting her speak, and JJ actually did, before telling her she doesn't get the car back.

 

Then there was a man who took $4k from his step-daughter's bank account, and JJ said she would pay it when a police report was filed, and she would be following up.

 

The second set of reruns just went off and I already forgot what they were.

...I thought I was going crazy, the listing said new, but I was like, I think I've seen this before...

 

or...

 

...maybe I'm psychic... :)

[Sarcastico]

Espresso Shots was definitely a repeat.  Did anyone catch what she said near the end of the case?  Did she ask Judy to say hello to her "nana" or someone because "she really loves you?" 

[designing1]

One of the most entertaining things about the Espresso Shots case was watching the gallery behind her become increasingly fidgety and agitated just by being in her presence.

[Ouisch]

Espresso Shots was definitely a repeat.  Did anyone catch what she said near the end of the case?  Did she ask Judy to say hello to her "nana" or someone because "she really loves you?" 

She asked for JJ's autograph for her mother, because mom really loves JJ.

[SandyToes]

Argh! Idiot on the rerun today. Uses a random friend's credit card (but can't pay it back), then borrows cash from same friend (because she couldn't cover rent.)

 

JJ: Why don't you get a job?

Idiot Litigant: I don't need a job. (!!)

JJ: You can't pay your bills! Get a job!

IL: I've never had a job. He supports me.

JJ: You have children? (yes) How old? (2) Why aren't you married after 7 years together?

IL: We are TOO YOUNG!

 

OMG. And so pleased with herself.  I need a funny case. Please?

[Milz]

Today is the African Queen repeat!

[Sarcastico]

Is the African Queen the same as Queen Esther?

[SandyToes]

 

Today is the African Queen repeat!

 

That would be perfect!  I missed it the first time around. Off to set the DVR, just in case...

[Milz]

Is the African Queen the same as Queen Esther?

 

No. The litigants are "adults" who get into a brawl during a little league game. The reason is "he insulted my African Queen."

[basiltherat]

Wasn't The African Queen an old tugboat piloted by Bogey and Kate?  (Just kidding!)

 

What I wanted JJ to ask Espresso's boyfriend was:  is it true what they say about crazy women being super hot in the sack?

 

(I'll go sit in a corner now, thanks.)