Jeremy and Auj Poj

[Mike p.]

2 hours ago, Honey said:

What if Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony had just prayed instead?

The Roloff family grasp of civil rights struggle has always been both tenuous and self-serving.

A TLC-Roloff ad that ran at the start of their next-to-last episode featured photos of Amy juxtaposed with photos of the three black woman mathematicians featured in the Movie "Hidden Figures." It thanked her.

I won't go for ranking categories of discrimination—it's all intended to demean, marginalize and destroy. But still, to compare those women to a giggling meal-ticket fraud like Amy Roloff turned my stomach. 

I don't know why they didn't go straight to Amy as Rosa Parks. Maybe next season.

Edited January 25, 2017 by Mike p.

[ginger90]

I will give him this, he makes me laugh

https://mobile.twitter.com/JeremyJRoloff/status/822204673033703426?p=v

[Celia Rubenstein]

More from the twit's twitter:

Quote

 

Jan 19

Jeremy James Roloff ‏@JeremyJRoloff

My word for 2017 is stewardship.

 

Well.  At least this time he spelled it right.  

I think the only reason Jeremy has this word is on his mind is because he is going to employ it in his quest to gain control of the farm.  I can see him using it in his attempts to sway his parents to leave him everything.  It sounds so much better than "sole ownership."  It suggests the idea of legacy and responsibility as opposed to possession and control (and disinheriting of one's children).  That would appeal to Matt, who wants the farm preserved as a shrine to himself.  Hopefully Amy would be more fair-minded. 

I wonder what she really thinks of Jeremy maneuvering to not only oust her from her house but also to ace out his siblings and score the whole farm for himself ... I'd be pretty pissed off if I thought my kid was doing something like that.  It can't be good for the ol' parent/child relationship. 

[Mike p.]

7 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

  . . . Matt, who wants the farm preserved as a shrine to himself.  

Jeremy should order a 40-foot equestrian statue of Matt, bronze, the horse rearing on its hind legs. 

The would seal the deal, I'm sure.

[Jellybeans]

9 hours ago, Mike p. said:

Jeremy should order a 40-foot equestrian statue of Matt, bronze, the horse rearing on its hind legs. 

The would seal the deal, I'm sure.

I do not think it is quite tall enough.  ;-)

[seahag50]

I was watching tv yesterday and a commercial came on for Ford Focus...staring Guess who our little Hipsters....I have been busy trying to chew a vein open so I can just bleed to death and be spared this

[Willowsmom]

1 hour ago, seahag50 said:

I was watching tv yesterday and a commercial came on for Ford Focus...staring Guess who our little Hipsters....I have been busy trying to chew a vein open so I can just bleed to death and be spared this

Oh well. No Ford for me.

[ginger90]

I thought they did  a Toyota commercial? Ford too?

[seahag50]

Quote

Maybe I was wrong and it was Toyota...I don't know I think I was paying more attention on my vein once I saw them....

 

[ZoloftBlob]

Ah the kiddies have posted another hilarious marital blog that basically exposes that this is very much all about the two of them profiting off the marriages of others.

It is purportedly written by Jeremy - and could be because there's lots of "literally" and “blew my mind” and lots of big words being over used. “It is absolutely a refining process!” Did I mention the overuse of exclamation points? Jer Bear is very excited to let us know that he wants to have a vision for his marriage because he saw a cool video that dumbed down the concept enough for Jeremy to understand it. This vision seeking btw involves a 3-5 day vision retreat preferably away from home and of course without children. Here’s the best part! Jer and Auj are not only going to try this, they are potentially going to host vision retreats themselves!

Because really, who doesn’t want to go to a marital vision retreat with two hosts who have just barely been married and whose experience on vision retreats is “we saw a youtube video and like the idea so now we’re experts!”

I mean really, can you imagine what it would like?

Oh, and if Jer or Auj read here, dear god, if you’re going to call yourselves writers, you need to stop pretending it takes you a forty hour work week to pound out 499 words. It is especially pathetic because one of the big words Jeremy uses is bolded and incorrectly spelled. If you can’t be bothered to spend five minutes running spell check (and spell check would catch “DEFFINITLY”) then it is pretty clear how poorly you’d run a marital retreat. You’re calling this a professional blog, you claim you want to run marital retreats professionally. When you fail at things that involve minimal attention to detail, it indicates a lack of professionalism. You’re not little children any more, you don’t get praised for just doing your best. If you want people to pay you for your services, there needs to be some indication that you’re not going to smirk and half ass it.

This post comes in at about 430 words and took me ten minutes.

[galax-arena]

Quote

"you need to stop pretending it takes you a forty hour work week to pound out 499 words. 

...

This post comes in at about 430 words and took me ten minutes."

Okay, but see, consider that Jeremy and Audrey are the equivalent of Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, and the idea of a 40-hour week to write <500 words makes sense!

ETA: Man, the quote function has been really glitchy lately. 

Edited February 8, 2017 by galax-arena

[Claire1745]

They are pregnant. Couldn't let Zach and Tori have the lime light for too long. I bet they are looking for a spin off or at least lots of little special seasons so they don't have to worry about "working" too much.  Must be moving closer to the farm, Audrey did mention they were moving in a month or 2 in one of her social medias. 

[leighroda]

Can't say I'm surprised, especially with the hipster announcement 

[iheartla]

Am I a horrible person for rolling my fucking eyes at this? Let Zachary and Torie's baby have a moment without sharing attention with it's cousin. Fuck these two. 

[ZoloftBlob]

If the baby is due in september, even late September, they are announcing a little early. And I won't judge them for timing...if they legit got pregnant 'to gain attention back' then they will learn a lesson without my point g it out.

I hope it's a girl, and let's be honest, watching these two whine and moan and you know, praise themselves for their truly unique special life will be hilarious 

[Willowsmom]

Shall we start an escape fund for the baby now?

[Absolom]

Auj said see you in six months to the baby so possibly she's due very early September in which case they are hopefully past 10 weeks and the majority of the miscarriage risk. 

[Claire1745]

43 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Auj said see you in six months to the baby so possibly she's due very early September in which case they are hopefully past 10 weeks and the majority of the miscarriage risk. 

I read that she's due Sept. 1st. I would imagine There  goes their big anniversary vacation.  Poor guys idk how they're going to live without going on 9 vacations a year. 

[Darknight]

I never knew how much of an ass these people are. Especially these two. I see divorce in their future. There's no way they're going to be married for long. No way. Harsh but true 

[ginger90]

US Weekly has the "exclusive" but no twitter announcement yet from Amy or Matt.

https://mobile.twitter.com/usweekly/status/834435133881057281?p=v

[ZoloftBlob]

I sort of adore that the second response to the us weekly article was "think I already saw a mention, about this, on the cover of "Who Gives A Crap Weekly"."

Gosh, wanna bet they're moving back to the Portland area to be within easy free babysitter range?

[AZChristian]

Okay, guys, I have to get this off my chest.  "WE" are not pregnant.  Audrey is pregnant.  

From dictionary.com:

pregnant:  having a child or other offspring developing in the body; with child or young, as a woman or female mammal.

"We" may be expecting a baby, but "we" are not pregnant.

[Willowsmom]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

US Weekly has the "exclusive" but no twitter announcement yet from Amy or Matt.

https://mobile.twitter.com/usweekly/status/834435133881057281?p=v

Matt's been all over Facebook ,

[Celia Rubenstein]

Oh, whadda surprise.  Not.  You know those two have been working on this since the minute Tori and Zach announced they were going to have a baby. The only surprise is that they didn't live stream Aujball peeing on the stick in their bathroom.  Wanna bet Jer doesn't have a video of it someplace?  These hipsters live to document their own magnificence and no way would they let a moment like that go unpreserved for history.  I am sure right now they are shopping for a lovely shadow box in which to create a collage that includes the pee stick itself. Because they are so damn awesome like that. 

I just hope Amy is seriously on the path to creating her own life and happiness and doesn't let herself get roped into playing the eternally available babysitter for these jerks.  

[ZoloftBlob]

Celia - I think the real irony is that Jeremy has no idea he's going to lose his place as "the member of the family we all pay the most attention to".  Amy gets a new baby, Matt gets a new playmate and Jeremy now needs to get his little bitch ass to work since he's now proven he can procreate. I mean, speaking as someone raised with Christian values if not in the church, I was taught that if you're man enough to breed, its time you manned up and supported the kids you fuck your wife for all by yourself. If you're man enough to have a child, then its well past time for you to be asking mommy and daddy for help

And if these two little snowflakes make the show their living, well I best not hear one complaint from two grown ass adults about how fucking hard it is to take care of a child and *film*. Jer? Auj? I know people (people Jeremy has proudly called 'workaholics') who work sixty hour weeks at real jobs (not.playing forts with daddy on camera or leading a work out twice a week or popping up a 400 word essay on how you like to fuck for Jesus) and those people can't hand the baby to the PA  for the show to watch. Little bitches who don't have to put their kid in daycare in order to afford food, clothing and a roof for the baby will need to be noting how lucky they are and not whining how life sucks now that they can't just drop what they are doing and go ski.

Mind you, I am utterly positive we're gonna hear how tiring it is to tend a child and how *expensive* a child is and of course how now that there's a child, why that precious little one needs a farm to play on!

[Claire1745]

Did anyone notice that their over the top announcement video wasn't released on TLCMe, but on their YouTube page? I'm not sure how that works since they're still contracted with TLC. And this video would've drawn more viewers than their lousy other videos so I can't imagine TLC was willing to let them put it own their own YouTube channel. 

[Caracoa1]

Before I go off I do hope Audrey has a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.  I do truly believe that when Zach and Tori announced their pregnancy that the hipsters went Ape shit crazy that they would not be providing the first Roloff grandchild!  How dare Zach and Tori start a family and not consult them!  I bet money that the hipsters dumped their birth control immediately and got to work on procreating!  Now I'm sure they are crossing their fingers that they too have a son!  I'm sure they will see their child as the "Golden Grandchild"!!!!

[AZChristian]

I just keep remembering the episode where Jer set up a romantic bedroom on a covered bridge on the farm.  So it looks to me like we almost got to see the conception.  LOL.

[ZoloftBlob]

I just can't wait to see Jeremy realize playtime is over. No more easy breazy vacations - he'll be hauling the stroller, the car seat and the diaper bag wherever he goes. And diddling around with the navigator's council - try having those thoughtful conversations on the weekly state of your marriage as the child screams. Hey, what about the pulling off by the roadside and fucking for Jesus? Gonna do that in the car and call it the Sabbath? What about this Sabbath concept they have where one day is for God and THEY MUST PLAY FOR JESUS!? Seriously - the charming staged photos of them wearing matching clothes and hoolding up the expensive lil matching outfit? I can't wait to see how that falls by the wayside.

[Willowsmom]

35 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

I just can't wait to see Jeremy realize playtime is over. No more easy breazy vacations - he'll be hauling the stroller, the car seat and the diaper bag wherever he goes. And diddling around with the navigator's council - try having those thoughtful conversations on the weekly state of your marriage as the child screams. Hey, what about the pulling off by the roadside and fucking for Jesus? Gonna do that in the car and call it the Sabbath? What about this Sabbath concept they have where one day is for God and THEY MUST PLAY FOR JESUS!? Seriously - the charming staged photos of them wearing matching clothes and hoolding up the expensive lil matching outfit? I can't wait to see how that falls by the wayside.

Oh please. We know Amy or Tori will actually raise this kid while Jer and Auj continue the "Play for Jesus" lifestyle.

[ZoloftBlob]

a) I really hope not because there's being a doormat and then there's raising your brother's kids so he can play and b) I really don't think *Tory* will be ok with that. Especially since they will have their own kid and frankly they are more likely to have a kid with health issues.

[GleamingMist]

I thought it was kind of a burn that Tori and Zack got the People exclusive with their pregnancy (hell, even Maddie Brown did when she was pregnant) and these two got nothing.  I don't really give two craps about Jer and Auj's baby, I didn't realize it was news that two healthy married people in their 20's are having a baby....boring.  Totally trying to steal thunder from Zack and Tori.  No shout outs from the family on Instagram about this news either and it was everywhere when Zack and Tori announced.  I am happy for both, I just hope the Jer/Auj baby was conceived for the right reasons.  I don't feel those two are selfless enough to have a baby but maybe they will prove me wrong. 

[fuzzylollipop]

Due September? Was the pee stick even dry when they announced it? The timing makes it so obvious that they've been trying as soon as Zach and Tori announced. 

I'm feeling particularly evil today (it's been a long week) so I'm going to say that I hope Zach and Tori have a beautiful and healthy baby with CURLY hair. And that Jerk and Oddj have a dwarf child with perfectly STRAIGHT hair. I'm not saying this because having a child with dwarfism is bad, in fact I think Tori would absolutely rock the role of mom to such a child. I'm saying this because that would completely shatter Jerk and Oddj's perfect photogenic hipster existence and would be the huge wake up call they both need. Sad part is they wouldn't be able to step up to the role. Which makes me feel conflicted about my wish because the child would suffer.

Also, I just want to add that now that they're throwing a baby into the mix, we can start the countdown to the divorce. Marriage won't be fun anymore. I wonder who will break first. 

[ZoloftBlob]

Personally I think they're announcing a *little* early and I hope that isn't a mistake. I also doubt very much that Jeremy and Audrey are at risk for a dwarf child - that's not how the genetics work. That said - I hope Zach and Tory's son doesn't have dwarfism and that Jer and Auj have a kid who doesn't agree with their choices. Auj needs a girl who hates all the silly girly pretentions and Jeremy needs a boy who loves the ballet (which btw does not mean I am wishing a gay kid on them, just a son who likes classic dance)

[Jaded]

58 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

 Auj needs a girl who hates all the silly girly pretentions and Jeremy needs a boy who loves the ballet (which btw does not mean I am wishing a gay kid on them, just a son who likes classic dance)

A son like Ron Reagan who's totally opposite of what his Dad was and was a ballet dancer to boot. 

Edited February 23, 2017 by Jaded

[Mike p.]

A baby that learns to read would be a slap in Jeremy's face.

[galax-arena]

I hope their kid ends up an atheist. And not, like, a chill atheist, but a total edgelord. Who hates the outdoors. 

[Absolom]

According to ye olde due date calculator she's 12 weeks 6 days and conception was around Dec 9.   If the due date is Sept 1, she may have hedged the second trimester statement by 2 or 3 days.  It's probably close enough.  A day or two at that stage usually doesn't make any difference.  My daughter being an exception to that rule and was thankfully waiting for a weekend to announce. 

[ZoloftBlob]

Absolom, let it not be said that I can't be nice. If these people weren't on tv, I wouldn't find it too early. Because they are on tv and are making the choice to publicize the pregnancy, if I were them, I would have waited for month four or five to make the announcement just so that if things didn't go as planned, they need not answer endless interview questions about the failed pregnancy.

[Mike p.]

1 hour ago, Jaded said:

A son like Ron Reagan who's totally opposite of what his Dad was and was a ballet dancer to boot. 

 

45 minutes ago, galax-arena said:

I hope their kid ends up an atheist. And not, like, a chill atheist, but a total edgelord. Who hates the outdoors. 

We should organize a baby shower along these and similar themes. I can start with an actual round Earth globe.

[gunderda]

I don't quite get their announcement theme......at least for them anyways.  I wouldn't think of them as major carhartt fans. Carhartt with typewriter?

[leighroda]

The typewriter was a big deal in their engagement, so I'm guessing that's where that came from... carhartt, idk a nod to their entitlement to inheriting the farm? 

[ZoloftBlob]

After looking at the US Weekly article, I am beginning to call bullshit on these two. According to that interview - they found out Jan 7 - the day Zach and Tori found out the sex of their baby, Auj was feeling nauseous, peed on a stick THAT VERY NIGHT.

And the weird video in the white bedroom... It's like... do you understand that you're not Kardashians?

[gunderda]

17 hours ago, leighroda said:

The typewriter was a big deal in their engagement, so I'm guessing that's where that came from... carhartt, idk a nod to their entitlement to inheriting the farm? 

I totally get the typewriter... I think it would have been cute if they put the sonogram picture IN the typewriter and maybe typed something beside it.  But a typewriter and carhartt together?? uhhhhhh......... 

[Willowsmom]

I can see  it now...CARHARTT ROLOFF !

And Jer and Tawdry  think they're bigger than the Kardashians .

[galax-arena]

Maybe they'll name the kid Sheldon so that they can once again masturbate over what huge "A Severe Mercy" fans they are. 

[ZoloftBlob]

I wonder if they realize they won't be able to just whip their clothes off and fuck on the chess board for Jesus at random points during the day?

[Mike p.]

1 hour ago, ZoloftBlob said:

I wonder if they realize they won't be able to just whip their clothes off and fuck on the chess board for Jesus at random points during the day?

Well, why not? If it's for Jesus . . . 

[ginger90]

Nothing on Amy's twitter yet. I wonder if she found out online. That would be sad.

[AZChristian]

I read somewhere (here?) that Jeremy said that Matt cried and Amy screamed upon hearing the news.  No word on whether she just kept screaming, "Are you s*i*t*ng me?", as she did when Zach and Tori broke the news.