S04.E03: Just Married

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, izabella said:

This. 

"I've never dated anyone who is nice to me!"

"He's so different from anyone I've ever dated!"

That's because she is still in the mindframe of only being attracted to people who will screw her over.   That's a sign of having intimacy issues.  Until she gets over that, the decent guys that she could possibly settle down with won't seem at all attractive to her.

This is a very good point here. 

Men who are kind don't come on to women with silly lines, men who are kind don't feel they need to sell themselves to women.  That's why they seem boring, they're not filled with cool sounding lines.  They'd rather observe, watch, see who is least likely to shoot them down.  Maybe Heather wanted someone who was seemingly into her right away. 

[izabella]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

This is a very good point here. 

Men who are kind don't come on to women with silly lines, men who are kind don't feel they need to sell themselves to women.  That's why they seem boring, they're not filled with cool sounding lines.  They'd rather observe, watch, see who is least likely to shoot them down.  Maybe Heather wanted someone who was seemingly into her right away. 

I could totally see her going for the slick guys, the guys who are charming initially on the outside, who wine and dine you and make you feel special, all to get into your pants and drop you for the next pretty girl they see or when they get bored. 

[Jack Sampson]

6 minutes ago, izabella said:

I could totally see her going for the slick guys, the guys who are charming initially on the outside, who wine and dine you and make you feel special, all to get into your pants and drop you for the next pretty girl they see or when they get bored. 

If that makes one a bad person, then I'm in trouble.

[izabella]

2 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

If that makes one a bad person, then I'm in trouble.

You might want to look Heather up, then!  I suspect she might be single, or in the process of a divorce at this point.

[Jack Sampson]

24 minutes ago, izabella said:

You might want to look Heather up, then!  I suspect she might be single, or in the process of a divorce at this point.

She's WAY too old and jaded for me.  Ha. 

I wonder how Derek handles it.  I was rooting for David to explode on Trashley, I'm hoping to see something like that out of Derek.

[Neurochick]

54 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

If that makes one a bad person, then I'm in trouble.

Guess you're in trouble.  LOL

[seasick]

4 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

You put as much lipstick as you can on that pig or in Tom's case,  a "luxury" bus, it is still a bus.

Tom needs to slap on much, much more lipstick on his pet project to bring it up to a place he can bring a new bride to... opps!... too late.

Tom uses the bus and his lifestyle as his get-out-of-jail-free card.

Took a whole year for him to drive the last gf out of the bus but he is a patient man and will wait it out.

No rush to fix the bus up nice when it is your ace in the hole to wiggle out of any relationship.

Don't be disingenuous to Lily and break her heart, we see through your bull shit.

Wow you could be right!  I'm a big Tom fan--today-- but we shall see.  

I will say it takes time and money to turn a greyhound bus into a place with full plumbing kitchen  shower etc. So  2 years isn't a crazy time line to me in his spare time.  (and the surf's not 'up")  He is a strange candidate for this show, that's for sure.  Can't wait to see what happens.  I've never been one for a nailed-down suburban lifestyle so I like his idea. 

[Jellybeans]

47 minutes ago, seasick said:

Wow you could be right!  I'm a big Tom fan--today-- but we shall see.  

I will say it takes time and money to turn a greyhound bus into a place with full plumbing kitchen  shower etc. So  2 years isn't a crazy time line to me in his spare time.  (and the surf's not 'up")  He is a strange candidate for this show, that's for sure.  Can't wait to see what happens.  I've never been one for a nailed-down suburban lifestyle so I like his idea. 

It also depends on what you want out of life.  I am older now (won't say I'm wiser) but I no longer believe we have to have a big career/house/children as an end goal. I was raised as such so...

Like you I am eager to hear more.

[Blissfool]

On 8/10/2016 at 0:11 PM, Cowgirl said:

What I don't get is why Tom's bus is so manky looking.  He's a luxury yacht interior salesman, right?  He ought to have access to suppliers and be able to get discounts.  So, why does his tour bus interior contain so much ugly plywood?  Maybe he's a really bad luxury yacht interior salesman and never makes a commission. Or, maybe it's because the economy is still tanked and who is still buying luxury yachts? The interior of that bus looks more like the palace of a crazed hippie than the home of a luxury yacht salesman.

My theory is that he embellished his job title. I really believe he's just a day-laborer that earns a few bucks a day from the real yacht interior designers that he runs into in Miami while surfing. And I'm sure he only works when it's convenient for him. "What? High tide? Forget work! I'm going surfing today."

I don't like Tom. I think he's a loser-slacker, but, hopefully, I'm wrong....for Lily's sake.

 

On 8/10/2016 at 0:21 PM, Evil Queen said:

Nick is an ass. Sorry but I haven't cared for the guy from the get go. Then to be the way he was over horses and dogs. I'm sorry but the idiot "experts" should NEVER have put them together. This is another issue of one can fix this or that. I can imagine she probably had something that freaked her out over dogs. I know I was bit by one my mom had when I was in my mid 20s. I had to go to the hospital for it because my hand was bleeding so bad. I am VERY leery of certain dogs because of it. I have seen my younger son scared of them when he was little because of an overly excited one jumping on him. He did get over it as he got older but the point is there are so many reasons one can be afraid of dogs. He hasn't even asked why she is. You would think maybe instead of his asshole comments about the horses/dogs that he would be "do you mind me asking why you are scared of dogs?" and maybe how he might help her ease into getting to know his dogs but nope he just comes off as a jerk about it. I know I rather be near a big horse than most dogs myself. 

 

If you follow him on Twitter, you'll see that he has a sarcastic and witty sense of humor. I love it!

The horse/dog thing is part of his dry humor, i think. 

 

21 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

 

Lily and Tom thought they would get paid a dollar for every kiss so the over-the-top smooch fest.

Hmmmmm....there's a thought. I wonder what Ashley would have thought. Of course, they'd have to offer her more than $1, but I wonder if she has a price.

6 hours ago, BunnySlippers said:

Tom is only 28? He looks more like 40 to me. Maybe thirty-something. I didn't know he was that young.

 

I think all the guys look older than their age. I will even let 28 pass for Tom, but Derek is 35???!!?!? and Nick is 32???!!?!? I'm not buying it. They both have way way way more wrinkles and gray hairs than what I had at that age (Heck, than what I have NOW. And I'm a few years older than them.)

[humbleopinion]

Still am flummoxed why fuzzy upper lipped Ashley and loony/disturbed Sam were chosen by the sexperts last season to be foisted upon a couple of nice guys.

Ashley was as entertaining/affectionate as a petrified log and Sam was mentally abusive to Neil.

Heather probably auditioned well, was long enough in the tooth to make her a prime candidate and her heart/psyche scarred and bruised enough to make it challenge for this new crop of "experts" to ferret out a husband/love for her.

She and Derek would have been a great triumph and proved the M@FS experiment can work but she fudged her answers on the likes/dislikes/tolerate/won't tolerate list.

Derek, poor bastard, never had a chance because she changed the rules on him midstream.

[Sunnyside]

Didn't Heather give Derek cigars as a pre-wedding gift? WHY, and then gripe about him smoking on the honeymoon?

I like Nick (for now). I like Sonia, but the poor girl checked out during the wedding when the officiant announced that he had two dogs.......Sonia......Sonia.......Bueller......Bueller...

In the wild stretch of my imagination (from watching too much tv) I would like to guess that Tom switched his nice home with his friend's bus just for the show, or at least that's how I would have scripted it. ;)

[seasick]

5 hours ago, Sunnyside said:

Didn't Heather give Derek cigars as a pre-wedding gift? WHY, and then gripe about him smoking on the honeymoon?

I like Nick (for now). I like Sonia, but the poor girl checked out during the wedding when the officiant announced that he had two dogs.......Sonia......Sonia.......Bueller......Bueller...

In the wild stretch of my imagination (from watching too much tv) I would like to guess that Tom switched his nice home with his friend's bus just for the show, or at least that's how I would have scripted it. ;)

Ooo yeah!  He's actually a gazillionaire!  But one must prove they loooove him for just being Him before being handed the keys to the castle.... 

DID she give cigars?  I'd have to look back.   Nick got the scotch..Tom got cigars..  ( i thought the cigars were odd for a wedding gift--but maybe I'm out of the new loop for that stuff.)

LOVED when Jim (Nick's mother's BF) asked why they would match a person who is afraid of dogs with a dog-lover/owner.  I guess they didn't count him in when they were (likely) prepping the others on approved comments and questions.  heehee

[ctbabe]

2 hours ago, seasick said:

Ooo yeah!  He's actually a gazillionaire!  But one must prove they loooove him for just being Him before being handed the keys to the castle.... 

DID she give cigars?  I'd have to look back.   Nick got the scotch..Tom got cigars..  ( i thought the cigars were odd for a wedding gift--but maybe I'm out of the new loop for that stuff.)

LOVED when Jim (Nick's mother's BF) asked why they would match a person who is afraid of dogs with a dog-lover/owner.  I guess they didn't count him in when they were (likely) prepping the others on approved comments and questions.  heehee

Heather gave Derek cigars so she definitely isn't that turn off from smoking. 

Word on the street is that Sonia NEVER wrote abt her fear of dogs (or her dislike for them) in the questionaire. People tend to ignore some stuff so they could be chosen.

[Jax7917]

Heather does remind me of ashley, but I think she lucked out that ashley's season came first because she got to see how ashleys personality played out for her in terms of likability. They have similar demeanors for sure, but I think heather is more self aware. Look, if you're going into this show hoping and praying you're gonna be matched with a hot guy like jason from season 1 or ryan d, then this isn't the right show for you because a lot of the time, the guy isn't going to be charming/conventionally hot because then well, why would they need this show? If you're gonna go on this show, you need to be open to the possibility of them not being your type, but being able to look past that. This season just started but right off the bat I can see ashley is 10 x worse than heather. I really despised that girl and I never even met her lol. But that being said, Heather does seem like a stick in the mud and needs to loosen up. IMO this seasons guys are WAY better than previous seasons so if I were them, I'd feel very lucky lol

[Evil Queen]

5 hours ago, ctbabe said:

Heather gave Derek cigars so she definitely isn't that turn off from smoking. 

Word on the street is that Sonia NEVER wrote abt her fear of dogs (or her dislike for them) in the questionaire. People tend to ignore some stuff so they could be chosen.

I can imagine when doing this questionaires though that some people may not think of everything to put on it in the moment or aren't even asked the questions that would fit those answers. Since we haven't seen what is given to them past the application we have no clue what is on all of these things. Yet I can totally see someone forgetting to put something in if its a long amount of questions being asked. 

As for Heather and Derek, maybe its not the smoking but more the WHAT he is smoking that is the turn off. 

[Neurochick]

18 hours ago, Jellybeans said:

It also depends on what you want out of life.  I am older now (won't say I'm wiser) but I no longer believe we have to have a big career/house/children as an end goal. I was raised as such so...

Like you I am eager to hear more.

I completely agree with this, I'm older too (wiser?  maybe, maybe not).  I have seen so many people whose goal was the big career/house/children; either they got it and were all "is that all there is?" Or they didn't get it and became depressed and wondered where they went wrong.  

Right now, I don't think Tom is a loser because I don't believe a person should be defined by where they live, or even what they do, why?  Because it can change on a dime, people lose jobs, they lose homes, life happens but that doesn't make the person themselves a loser.  

Now if Tom had multiple baby mamas and wasn't paying any child support, then yes he would be a loser IMO.

[Snarklepuss]

I think the problem I have with Tom is that his lifestyle is probably not going to be the lifestyle Lily is going to want to live.  I think she is fun loving and flexible about a lot of things but being that way in general doesn't mean you're going to want to live off the beach in a beat up old bus.  There is absolutely nothing about Lily that screams "bohemian lifestyle" to me whatsoever.   And that's fine, but if so, why did they match her with Tom if he's so "married" to his laid back lifestyle?  I can't understand it.  Just looking at her mother and the culture she comes from I would NEVER peg her for someone who would want to live like that.  She is obviously a very traditional person deep down and even I could see that not knowing that much about her.  She mentioned something about the car she owns in one of the short shows - I don't doubt it's something like a BMW.  Of course Tom is going to see her as "materialistic" - What realtor on God's green EARTH isn't materialistic to some degree and more than someone like Tom would want?  This show really pisses me off.

And yes to him looking older - I don't find him attractive "in that way".  I don't see him as aging well plus on those moments we have seen him pawing at her and stuff I get a yucky vibe in my stomach.  I think he may end up coming on too strong with her physically in a kind of smarmy/creepy way and it may turn her off even though she may find him attractive.

[Jellybeans]

If Derick is smoking cigarettes and not pot then her gift of cigars is very misleading. One also wonders how she knew he even smoked cigars for it is an odd gift to give a stranger.  And if you don't like smoking, then why go there?

[Waterlilly]

Based on being a Florida native all be it now mature "old" beach bum, here is my two cents.

I once dated a yacht salesman, the commission was awesome, he sold the whole yacht not just the interior choices (design), he loved his job because he loved sailing and the water, he lived in a one bedroom rental apartment with second hand furniture and no decorations. Not important to this water world breed of outdoorsman. There are many many yacht manufacturers here, a lot of turn over, most employees work shifts, flexible time for fun and sun. That sun will age you by the way. Anyway, I could be wrong but I think Tom might have enhanced his job title or he sell interior choices for this company, if he is like the yacht people I know they are free spirits and if they live in a nice house with nice cars it pretty much is to keep wifey happy, then he has his boat or RV to escape to. Got to go, hubby is waiting for me to go to Home Depot, lol.  I'll be back!

[Momof3]

Re: Mr. "I live on a bus"--I think his living on a bus is representative of the life he wants to  live. Forever. Doesn't he design boats? I'm in my 40's-and I had a few friends who married someone, in their 20's, who wanted to live a different life. One married a cartoonist (as in newspaper cartoonist) and the other a rock star. (to be fair-his band was a mini-one hit wonder-and then nothing). After both couples had children both divorced. Rock star wanted to live off his meager savings forever-and this meant a very limited life for their family (no travel, nice house). The other friend, married to the cartoonist, had a problem with him drawing cartoons 10 hours a week total and not getting another job. They were having to ask for money from her parents! After 5 years, she went to nursing school and divorced him. I think that both women thought the men would change once 'real' life kicked in and they just didn't. 

[Snarklepuss]

I'm sorry I still think that something about the way Tom is presented and presenting himself that doesn't seem right.  I don't think he is all that they have made him look like he is on the show.  His career is probably not as grand as they're making it sound plus in 2 years that bus would have been completely fabulous by now.  It doesn't add up.  I think both the show and he played him up as being laid back and being so invested in a "lifestyle" because it sounds so much better than, "struggling financially, not wanting to grow up and floundering around".   I think the spin they're giving him seems better in the context of matching him with someone like Lily who probably makes decent money and has her life in order.

[Momof3]

Just now, Snarklepuss said:

I'm sorry I still think that something about the way Tom is presented and presenting himself that doesn't seem right.  I don't think he is all that they have made him look like he is on the show.  His career is probably not as grand as they're making it sound plus in 2 years that bus would have been completely fabulous by now.  It doesn't add up.  I think both the show and he played him up as being laid back and being so invested in a "lifestyle" because it sounds so much better than, "struggling financially, not wanting to grow up and floundering around".   I think the spin they're giving him seems better in the context of matching him with someone like Lily who probably makes decent money and has her life in order.

I think the bus is scripted-and it's working-because the bus issue has us all talking. ;)

[Momof3]

Re: smoking occasionally 

When I think of occasional smoking- I think of smoking while out with friends at a bar? Going off to smoke on your own seems like you "need" it more than when in Rome so to speak. 

[Snarklepuss]

1 minute ago, Momof3 said:

I think the bus is scripted-and it's working-because the bus issue has us all talking. ;)

Yeah, that's pretty much what I said upthread, that the bus is not really his idea but the show scripted it for him because it looked better than living at home with mom or wherever he really lives.  I think he may have really owned it but may have actually been living at home most of the time, not exclusively on the bus as any kind of "lifestyle" statement.

[Momof3]

Just now, Snarklepuss said:

Yeah, that's pretty much what I said upthread, that the bus is not really his idea but the show scripted it for him because it looked better than living at home with mom or wherever he really lives.  I think he may have really owned it but may have actually been living at home most of the time, not exclusively on the bus as any kind of "lifestyle" statement.

You did say that and I agree. Although, he is such a free spirit (or they're making him look like that) that he probably lived on his own in a nice house. He, at least, gets that bus living isn't the best and isn't for everyone. My friend's cartoonist husband didn't see anything wrong with not being able to pay the bills -that his being an 'artist' totally justified not financially supporting his family. 

[BunnySlippers]

27 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

I think the problem I have with Tom is that his lifestyle is probably not going to be the lifestyle Lily is going to want to live.  I think she is fun loving and flexible about a lot of things but being that way in general doesn't mean you're going to want to live off the beach in a beat up old bus.  There is absolutely nothing about Lily that screams "bohemian lifestyle" to me whatsoever.   And that's fine, but if so, why did they match her with Tom if he's so "married" to his laid back lifestyle?  I can't understand it.  Just looking at her mother and the culture she comes from I would NEVER peg her for someone who would want to live like that.  She is obviously a very traditional person deep down and even I could see that not knowing that much about her.  She mentioned something about the car she owns in one of the short shows - I don't doubt it's something like a BMW.  Of course Tom is going to see her as "materialistic" - What realtor on God's green EARTH isn't materialistic to some degree and more than someone like Tom would want?  This show really pisses me off.

And yes to him looking older - I don't find him attractive "in that way".  I don't see him as aging well plus on those moments we have seen him pawing at her and stuff I get a yucky vibe in my stomach.  I think he may end up coming on too strong with her physically in a kind of smarmy/creepy way and it may turn her off even though she may find him attractive.

I agree with all this. That's my problem with the bus, too: it's just hard for me to imagine that, when she signed up, what Lily was hoping for was to get matched with someone whose home is a bus on the beach. I really don't understand why the experts even considered Tom. When I found out in the matching episode that they'd actually chosen him, I was groaning at the TV. Why? Why, oh, why, would they choose someone whose lifestyle and choice of domicile is something that most women who want to settle down and get married would not want? How could they not see that this was a potential problem? How could they think it was fair to pair someone like that to a young woman like Lily? Sure, she likes the outdoors - but that doesn't mean that she would want to live in a camper or a bus.

About the car, I think she said she drives a Lexus. And if he called her materialistic for that, then he's an idiot. Especially for a realtor, who has to project a certain kind of image to her clients, she can't just drive a beat-up old car.

I don't find him attractive at all. I can't stop staring at the stubble above his lip (it just looks weird), and I don't like the unkempt stubble look anyway. And I totally agree about him pawing at her. It's just... eww.

 

8 minutes ago, Momof3 said:

Re: smoking occasionally 

When I think of occasional smoking- I think of smoking while out with friends at a bar? Going off to smoke on your own seems like you "need" it more than when in Rome so to speak. 

Very good point. I bet she thought occasional meant very rarely, not every day (and maybe even several times a day). And if he needed it, then yes, he's not an occasional smoker. Not to mention that what he smoked is important, too.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, BunnySlippers said:

I really don't understand why the experts even considered Tom. When I found out in the matching episode that they'd actually chosen him, I was groaning at the TV. Why? Why, oh, why, would they choose someone whose lifestyle and choice of domicile is something that most women who want to settle down and get married would not want? How could they not see that this was a potential problem? How could they think it was fair to pair someone like that to a young woman like Lily? Sure, she likes the outdoors - but that doesn't mean that she would want to live in a camper or a bus.

About the car, I think she said she drives a Lexus. And if he called her materialistic for that, then he's an idiot. Especially for a realtor, who has to project a certain kind of image to her clients, she can't just drive a beat-up old car.

I don't find him attractive at all. I can't stop staring at the stubble above his lip (it just looks weird), and I don't like the unkempt stubble look anyway. And I totally agree about him pawing at her. It's just... eww.

The show is called "Married at First Sight" not, "Everybody's Supposed to live in a cookie cutter house with 2.5 kids in the suburbs."

As for him "pawing at her?"  I don't understand; isn't that just being affectionate?  Aren't men allowed to touch women without people thinking they're rapists?

[BunnySlippers]

50 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

The show is called "Married at First Sight" not, "Everybody's Supposed to live in a cookie cutter house with 2.5 kids in the suburbs."

As for him "pawing at her?"  I don't understand; isn't that just being affectionate?  Aren't men allowed to touch women without people thinking they're rapists?

The point is, I don't think any of these women expected to live in a bus when they signed up for this show. It's not called "Married at First Sight and Living in a Bus" either.

I never said I thought Tom was a rapist.

[Snarklepuss]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

The show is called "Married at First Sight" not, "Everybody's Supposed to live in a cookie cutter house with 2.5 kids in the suburbs."

As for him "pawing at her?"  I don't understand; isn't that just being affectionate?  Aren't men allowed to touch women without people thinking they're rapists?

Sure, I agree with you on that but the point is that to those who don't find Tom attractive, seeing him all over Lily like that is cause for the "ewwww" response.  Hey if she loves it, I don't have a problem with that, she's the one who needs to find him attractive.  But I don't know, I tend to think that his behavior is bound to elicit the "Pepe le Pew" response in her eventually.  It looks to me like she's going along with it right now because she generally finds him attractive, but at some point she may actually end up "friend zoning" him for a while until she can better figure out her feelings for him.  It's a lot to expect from her in a short amount of time.  I really think he should be a little less all over her so soon if he doesn't want to overwhelm her.  Judging from the look on her face, she may actually be headed in that direction.  I hope they work out, actually.

ITA with BunnySlippers on the house bit.  Nothing wrong with being married and wanting to live in an RV, but to expect your wife to want it too when she may not is bad matching on the show's part if you ask me.

Edited August 12, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[Neurochick]

But if they cast Tom, then maybe Lily was the wrong choice for him and for the show.  

I don't get this "OMG he lives on a bus" stuff; I mean with all the really awful things that people do today, living on a bus is way at the bottom.

And I don't get this "pawing" her, he's touching her.  Should he not touch her?  I don't think any of the men are all that attractive IMO, but I just don't get this "pawing."

No one knows if Tom wants to live on the bus forever.  We don't know if the experts asked him that question, "would he move for a spouse?"  I guess we'll have to see, but I think it's interesting all of the negativity just because of the bus.  To me, I'd more leery of someone who has a history of violence, or who wasn't paying their child support, but living on a bus is pretty tame to me.

Edited August 12, 2016 by Neurochick

[henrysmom]

From what I saw, Lily was touching him as much as he was touching her.  I really have high hopes for them. Physical attraction isn't everything but it is certainly a better start than the Jamie/Doug and Ashley/David pairings.

[Jellybeans]

Lily is doing as much "pawing" as Tom!

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

But if they cast Tom, then maybe Lily was the wrong choice for him and for the show.  

I don't get this "OMG he lives on a bus" stuff; I mean with all the really awful things that people do today, living on a bus is way at the bottom.

And I don't get this "pawing" her, he's touching her.  Should he not touch her?  I don't think any of the men are all that attractive IMO, but I just don't get this "pawing."

No one knows if Tom wants to live on the bus forever.  We don't know if the experts asked him that question, "would he move for a spouse?"  I guess we'll have to see, but I think it's interesting all of the negativity just because of the bus.  To me, I'd more leery of someone who has a history of violence, or who wasn't paying their child support, but living on a bus is pretty tame to me.

Either way I think the match between them could go sour IF they both can't compromise on the living situation. I thought Tom said its why he hadn't been in relationships for long was because he wanted to live in the bus and the women he was with didn't like it after so much time. My only issue is that he says he was working on it for 2 yrs and it looks like he just got it. LOL I could care less where someone else lives as long as they aren't parking in front of my place with it or bothering my home life. Which we have had issues with gypsies in my area the last few years living in RVs and parking wherever they please. One spot was not far from our complex and for a couple weeks they were gassing everyone out in our area from running those things. They were parked in a business parking lot on the other side of the wall separating the places so we had to keep complaining until they got rid of them (its not legal to be parking like that in our city and using it for living). Anyway back to the show, if Tom has this unfinished bus I could see it being a turn off to someone to live in. Especially if they are not the get your hands dirty to help type or living in a work zone type. Hopefully they will both surprise us all on things and work together on where they will live. 

[Jellybeans]

I could live on it as long as it didn't have a composting toilet... just saying.  

Wonder what the bus looked like before Tom started remodeling it.

[seasick]

2 hours ago, Jellybeans said:

I could live on it as long as it didn't have a composting toilet... just saying.  

Wonder what the bus looked like before Tom started remodeling it.

I'm pretty sure he indicated it was a regular bus--with rows of seats like a greyhound.  I've said before that considering he had to remove all that and install plumbing, kitchen, bath etc etc I don't think his time line is half bad.  All that stuff costs money..sinks, cabinets, counter-tops etc.  I think it's more of a pet project. He's buying all the stuff as he goes along.

At the altar they said Lily not only likes the outdoors but she likes camping!  Now that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to live on a bus, but I would put more money on her being okay with it than I would Heather.  Can you imagine??  Oh.. or Ashley!  Wouldn't that have been 'just desserts'! LOL

[humbleopinion]

To remind you what a working bus looked like think of Ratso in the last scenes of Midnight Cowboy.

Youtube has a nice clip that I didn't want to clutter this site with.

Lily's hopes and dreams of a whitepicket fence is portrayed by Dustin Hoffman/Rico/Ratso.

Yes, they quietly died.

Edited August 13, 2016 by humbleopinion
more nonsense

[Stillhoping]

Every other couple every other season moved in to a new place together complete w fake apt house hunting. So why would they make Lilly move into the bus? Why not give them a shared place for 6 weeks and let them figure it out? 

If all is great maybe Tom can move.inher apt and they can take the bus out weekends....down to the Keys..over to Naples marco Island...up to. Orlando and parks. Whats the big deal? Ryan lived in his moms basement...loser Doug lived w his parents...his only job still seems to be what Jamie can squeeze out of the network haha.

[Momof3]

I agree with PP that if he has access to yacht interior design-why does the interior of the bus look stripped like it would be in a junk yard? At least most of it. I couldn't help myself and took screen shots. I hope they're allowed? :) 

 

[humbleopinion]

Thanks for the screen shots.

Ack! the bus looks jankier now you can study the sad details.

Repurposed plywood covering inside door.

Exposed wiring.

Yellow insulating wall padding.

Busted blinds that don't cover the whole window.

She better firmly fasten her Love Goggles on when she gets the grand tour to NOT see the above mentioned.

Poor Lily.

[KateHearts]

On 8/10/2016 at 0:21 PM, Madding crowd said:

Sonia seems very nervous all the time; maybe it is the cameras maybe it is Nick. i don't really like Nick so far and find his sarcastic comments to be hurtful. He seemed to go on and on about her being afraid of Dogs and not horses.

I disagree.  Nick seems to me to be the guy who makes a deadpan joke that most people miss.  I like that type... the kind that you like more as you start to watch them closely.  Not in-your-face trying to win you over.  And I don't blame him for asking about her dog fear vs. her love for horses.  That would puzzle me too.

As for Heather and her vague probing of Derek and his meaning of "occasional"- really?  Can you apply that term to every single thing equally?  An occasional smoke might mean once a day or every few- whereas liking to travel occasionally could mean once a year.  Occasional drinking might mean once a month.  See what I mean?  So having "occasional" road rage (weekly? now to me, that's pretty frequent) doesn't necessarily translate into smoking once a week as being occasional.  She's just picking shit apart to find fault, IMO.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Thanks for the screen shots.

Ack! the bus looks jankier now you can study the sad details.

Repurposed plywood covering inside door.

Exposed wiring.

Yellow insulating wall padding.

Busted blinds that don't cover the whole window.

She better firmly fasten her Love Goggles on when she gets the grand tour to NOT see the above mentioned.

Poor Lily.

Yeah, that bus is shitty. Lily may or may not be materialistic, but not wanting to live in that particular bus is not indicative of materialism. It isn't asking too much to live in a place where the wires aren't exposed. Ashley sneered at David's bachelor pad last season, but that was just your basic one-bedroom - no frills, but nothing actively wrong with it. Tom's living space isn't nice. If he lived in an apartment with exposed wiring and a plywood door, I'd think it was a crappy apartment.

If Lily comes in talking like the folks on House Hunters, wanting an open floor plan and stainless steel appliances and granite and walk-in closets and at least 2000 square feet for the two of them, then maybe I can see a case for her being materialistic, but if she's just not into the bus ... that makes sense. And if she IS into the bus, great. (Couldn't be me.)

Edited August 13, 2016 by Empress1

[Momof3]

21 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

22 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

It isn't asking too much to live in a place where the wires aren't exposed

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, Exactly. 

[humbleopinion]

Hey Floridians!

Honk if you see a Lexus towing a bus on your roadways.

Lily is standing by her man.

[Kiss my mutt]

Does Tom have a portfolio of his work?  He may design interiors but has anyone actually hired him to execute the design?  I think his claims are nebulous at best. 

I agree that they should find a place together like past couples have. There is a power differential when you're on someone else's turf. I could live on a bus if there was an endpoint to it but just winging it no way. If Tom doesn't want people to judge him for living on a bus he shouldn't judge someone who doesn't. It sounds like he expects his girlfriends to love and accept his bus life unconditionally. It's like the bus are kids that the other would need to love and accept or it's a deal breaker. 

[Passthepopcorn]

On 8/10/2016 at 1:30 PM, ClareWalks said:

One thing Tom said was a major red flag to me. Something like "I hope Lilly is okay with living on the bus, my lifestyle. I don't want to lose her." WTF, dude, is he seriously totally unwilling to live anywhere besides a fucking bus? No wonder he was still single. If THIS is the hill he wants to die on, he will have a rough time in life.

Agree. I felt the same way. He already chooses the bus over his wife's potential rejection of the bus.

He could still keep his lifestyle in a small home, without much stuff, going to the beach every day, not having electronics, etc. They could even rent if they don't want to feel stuck with debt and home-ownership. Plus you can always go camping on weekends or holidays on your bus. You make your lifestyle, not the place you live in. 

I personally, grew up in a small house (three kids) and love camping, but I like having my stable nest. I couldn't be a nomad. I like a home with kids and pets. 

Does he want a family? Does he really think they could live like that forever? Does he consider that she might want to have her family over sometimes? Latin cultures are big on families getting together... For the first years, fine, but long term? IDK...

[Neurochick]

17 minutes ago, Passthepopcorn said:

Does he want a family? Does he really think they could live like that forever? Does he consider that she might want to have her family over sometimes? Latin cultures are big on families getting together... For the first years, fine, but long term? IDK...

I watched the matchmaking special again, and Tom spoke about women not wanting to live on the bus.  I guess that means Tom doesn't want to compromise about the bus.  

I wonder why they are not allowed to get annulled, why do they have to get a divorce? 

Edited August 13, 2016 by Neurochick

[TwirlyGirly]

9 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I watched the matchmaking special again, and Tom spoke about women not wanting to live on the bus.  I guess that means Tom doesn't want to compromise about the bus.  

I wonder why they are not allowed to get annulled, why do they have to get a divorce? 

It probably has more to do with Florida law than any restrictions the show places upon the couples:

"Divorce Vs. Annulment

In Florida, it is sometimes preferable to seek a divorce rather than an annulment. This is because Florida law specifically establishes the steps for seeking a divorce, whereas Florida does not have an annulment statute. The laws regarding annulment are only established by common law decisions of court proceedings. Annulments are very difficult to establish due to the necessary court proceedings and burdens of proof; this is why some parties may seek divorce even if they have applicable grounds for annulment. Florida law provides that a void or voidable marriage can be annulled. A void marriage is a marriage that was always invalid, such as a bigamous marriage or a new marriage by someone who is currently married. A voidable marriage is a marriage that can be canceled at the option of either spouse, or allowed to continue legally at the option of the parties. An example of a voidable marriage would be if after your marriage you discover your wife is pregnant by another man." http://info.legalzoom.com/annulment-requirements-florida-23656.html

[Passthepopcorn]

The dog issue: Let me start by saying that I thought Sonia was going to be this bubbly, happy, always talking and laughing girl and I'm surprised to see someone who seems terrified most of the time, uncomfortable and on the verge of a nervous cry attack. In that sense, I think that Nick is the perfect calm, reassuring force to calm her down and let the happy Sonia emerge. That being said, the dogs could be a great tool for her to learn to trust him, to interact with them, to show them confidence (because she will have to be alfa female in the house) and to conquer her fears while holding his hand. Even though I know she didn't sign up for dogs and it could be tricky, especially if her body language is fear or if the dogs are used to being on his bed or stuff like that. One of my sons was terrified of dogs, even small ones. Now we have a huge lab mix witch he adores and hugs when there's thunder and are inseparable. You never know.

I don't think that he was trying to be mean when he compared it to horses. I think he was surprised that she was ok with an animal as big as a horse, that can be intimidating if you didn't grew up with them and not dogs, which he considers friendly creatures.

The squinting eyes issue: He looks just like his Mom. Period.

[Passthepopcorn]

Introverts are never going to come across as popular, fun , interesting on a reality show. It takes a lot of time, patience, trust to really get to know one and many times, be pleasantly surprised. Nick fits this category and we'll never see much of him, especially when he has a camera on his face. I hope Sonia gets to know him and vice versa. 

Heather could also be an introvert, she certainly is very cautious and has a wall around her, but she seems pretty cold, while I see warmth in Nick. I'm keeping that door open for Heather before I decide to dislike her. Derek on the other hand, seems so friendly, open and ready to share. He has an outstanding attitude. My only concern with him is that I see a bit of a party boy/wild guy. But it is clear that he is ready and seems happy to be married. So, we'll see...

[humbleopinion]

If Sonia can get over her fear of the dogs then they will give her unconditional love.

If Sonia can get over her fear of Nick/her insecurities/not meeting Nick's expectations she may not get unconditional love from Nick...we'll see.

If and how Nick can help her with his close to the vest emotions is to be seen.