The Quotes Thread: The Library Is Open

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Alaska as Mae West: When I'm good, I'm good. But when I'm bad, I get a serious venereal disease.

Katya: I would like to think that I'd be khaleesi but I could go over to the Lannisters' side too.

Alaska: I'm nine parts supermodel and one part robot. 

Edited September 14, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Tatianna: I picked Detox to be my partner because she's funny, she's dirty, and she's not Phi Phi or Roxxxy. Choices.

Katya: Coco and Phi Phi are not so much doing a comedy routine but a live action off-off-off-off-off Broadway theater production of Hookers at the Point.

[Watermelon]

"Do you remember when you were in high school on the phone, and you were like, 'Girl, I can't stand her! She is so fake!' And then your friend was like, 'Well, Melissa, what do you think about that?' And they were on three-way? Phi Phi's crack was that 'three-way in high school' crack." - Roxxxy Andrews

[DollEyes]

Coco, about Alyssa & Phi2's hug: "That hug was like Obama hugging Trump." 

Detox, after tripping while going offstage: "That cunt Sally Field! She lied to me about Boniva!"

Alyssa, about Phi2: "Miss Phi Phi is getting defensive, but see, here's the thing-I don't mind all the theatrics, but if you're gonna get all rowdy-rowdy and be a bawdy-bawdy bitch, stand up and be one. But girl, don't be weak sauce."

Tatianna, about Phi2: " If you're gonna play a game girl, play it right." 

Coco, about her new look: "Girl, I went from orange to fudge." 

Ru, while scrap-booking: "Does anyone have another furry ball?"

Carson: "Not one I can detach."

Alaska, to Alyssa: " Let's hear it for Alyssa Edwards-and don't worry, dear, if drag doesn't work out, you'll always have something to fall back on: your back rolls." 

Detox: "Thank you for coming to tonight's event for Babies Battling Bulimia." & To Tatianna: "I know you guys are giving your time and your money to this lovely benefit for teeny-tiny teeny-tiny tots, but I just wanna know when you're gonna have some tiny tots of your own."

Tatianna: "I've always wanted some, but my doctor keeps telling me testi-my ovaries keep getting in the way." &"I'm not the woman you see before you today. I've got a secret....(deep voice) I used to have braces.'

Edited September 28, 2016 by DollEyes

[Glaadrial]

From the "Shequels" episode, I have a favorite quote that I keep repeating in my head even though it didn't actually happen on the show:

Alaska: "The Camptown ladies sing this song..."
Alyssa: "Doo-lah! Doo-lah!"

The part that appears only in my head:
Alaska: (kicks Alyssa who is writhing on the floor) "It's: Doo-DAH (kick), Doo-DAH!" (kick and turn to the camera) "That's why I work alone!"

I can't for the life of me figure out why this didn't happen for real.  It seems so obvious an opportunity considering the script they were given. I can only think that it was Michelle being particularly over critical regarding all things Alyssa. I guess it's hard to be spontaneous with all that ill will coming at you.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Glaadrial
edited for redunancy

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Katya: I'm giving you 1980s lesbian literary agent disinterested pissed off Ellen Barkin fantasy.

[Arwen Evenstar]

On September 30, 2016 at 5:50 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Katya: I'm giving you 1980s lesbian literary agent disinterested pissed off Ellen Barkin fantasy.

That was an awesome description!

[DollEyes]

Carson: "You were really working within your whorehouse-I mean wheelhouse." 

Ru, to the girls: "While you & the girls deliberate, the judges and I will be skeet-shooting."

Katya: "I don't know what that means." 

From "Drag Family Values," Katya, to Alaska, after the Judges' critiques, where they read Alaska for filth and Katya, who wound up in the Top 2 and had to choose who to eliminate: "Party." 

Edited October 7, 2016 by DollEyes
To add stuff.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Katya: What I'm thinking is sexy Russian trophy bride with her peasant mom.
Katya's mom: Which one am I?

Katya: If I end up in the bottom, it could be RuPaul's Best Friend Race which means I go home.

Roxxxy's grandmother: I raised him. He turned out to be wonderful. He finished high school!
Roxxxy: High expectations!

Alaska: When I first started doing drag, my mom was afraid that I was like a cross dressing prostitute doing drugs and getting into trouble - which I was!
 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Katya: I'm like the sugar-free French Vanilla Ice of drag.

Katya: Lenin in the streets, Dostoyevsky in the sheets.

Katya: AB's giving me a lot of really great feedback. He's blinking his eyes a lot which I think in Dominican means "good job."

[Princess Sparkle]

Season 7 is not my most favorite, but there are two quotes from that season that I still find myself saying to this day:
Trixie: "Ok public school, back it up."
Ginger-as-Michelle: "Oooh Ru, I think she bumped da part of her head that helped her judge good drag from baaaaaad!"

[Martu]

Adore's comment with TKB's lipsync "she looks fucking bomb dot com dot org dot co uk" 

Tatianna's "choices" just seems to feet everywhere in my life 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Eureka: My favorite shape is round.
Valentina: I can see that.
Eureka: I will eat you.

Charlie Hides: With that dress, why didn't you wear a big pair earrings?
Eureka: I really wanted to give you Walmart realness.
Charlie: I'm getting that, Eureka.

Eureka: I'm Eureka, like the vacuum.
Farrah Moan: I've never vacuumed before.

Trinity: Trinity does not pad. I love plastic surgery and I went from a pancake to a Kardashian.

Trinity: I do a lot of pageants but I don't like to use the word "pageant queen" because there's such a stigmatism with pageant queens.

[CMS2004]

On 3/7/2016 at 11:17 AM, DollEyes said:

Darienne Lake, speaking slowly (at first) to Adore, during the Reading challenge, which Darienne won: "I'm, go-ing to speak ve-ry slow-ly so that you can un-der-stand: [regular voice] "You're dumb."

This was exactly what I was coming to post about. I use this ALL THE TIME. 

Along with, "The shade,the shade, the shade of it all."

How could no one have mentioned Latrice's "Get those NUTS outta mah FACE!"

[DollEyes]

From the S9 premiere: 

Lady Gaga, to Ru: "I remember something you taught me a long time ago."

Ru: "Get the money up front?" 

Lady Gaga: "And on the back." 

Aja, about Gaga: "It's Lady Gaga-like the real one." 

Carson, about Valentina's local look: "Ole', you stay." 

Ru, about Nina Bo'nina Brown's local look: "She's got Georgia on her mind-and on her face." 

Ru, about Farrah Moan's local look: "She looks like she's in the showroom of the Vatican." 

Kimora Blac: "If you're feeling a little frisky, I want you to know that what you do to me stays in Vegas." 

Ru: "This message has been brought to you by penicillin." 

Shea Coulee, about her Chicago-inspired look: "Nothing reminds me more of home that a big wiener between two buns."

Michelle: "The other girls better 'catch-up.'"

Carson: "They must-heard' about her." 

Ross: "I'm going to 'relish' this moment." 

Ru, about Alexis Michelle's Gaga runway look: "You could put Donald Trump in that dress and he would look gorgeous." 

Gaga: "That, I don't agree with." 

[Cosmic Muffin]

Alexis, to Cynthia Lee Fontaine in the white challenge (CLF has a dress with very large crystal stones on it), "I think you need some bigger stones on that dress!"

CLF swaying suggestively,"You wanna swing on my chandelier?"

Also, in S9 E2 Untucked, Charlie Hides to Eureka,"Just shut up!"

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trinity: My face is expensive and I don't want to break it!

Charlie: This is probably not the sport for people with an AARP membership.

Kimora: Stoning is for ugly people.

Fred: Eureka? Like the vacuum cleaner?
Michelle: Yes, and she can suuuuuuck.
Fred: Maybe I won't have my mom watch this show.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trinity: I'm trying to be a good southern belle and not punch this bitch in the face.

Michelle: [to Eureka] This doesn't read nightie to me. This reads dominatrix. It's funny how this end [of the stage] is really nightie and this end is just whores.
Ross: Well, surprise, surprise, I disagree with Michelle. You're clearly going to bed. You're just doing different things.

Michelle: [to Nina] It doesn't scream nightie to me. It screams street walking whore - and I love it!

[Cosmic Muffin]

Shea on the morning t.v. challenge,"They look like a college. Community college morning show on channel three that can't make it on the morning so they play it at three a.m."

Not a quote, and also from Untucked, which is better than the show this year, but while the girls argue, Nina is lying on her back on the floor, massaging her fake breast. I'm sure she was just trying to breathe while cinched, but she went for zombie Naomi Campbell to begin with, and then to lie there like that. Someone at Reddit said that with Trinity, Valentina and Alexis standing over her in lingerie it looked like an episode of Real Housewives where they didn't know what to do with the body of a dead hooker.

[heckkitty]

Also from untucked, which I agree is so far better than the actual show so far: Nina Bo Nina Rodham Clinton Brown, after not being able to get up from her lying down position: "somebody has to be the messy one"

[ClareWalks]

13 hours ago, heckkitty said:

Also from untucked, which I agree is so far better than the actual show so far: Nina Bo Nina Rodham Clinton Brown, after not being able to get up from her lying down position: "somebody has to be the messy one"

And one of the girls said "Hungry hungry hip pads!" I LOL'd.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Alexis: It's a Hannukah miracle! Aja's nose got smaller.

Shea: When life gives you lemons-
Eureka: You take rhinestones and you cover up that lemon.

Edited April 22, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Cosmic Muffin]

The 9021-HO episode, Farrah Moan,"Our milkshakes were melting..."

She said it so seriously, it cracked me up.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

[montage of Alexis Michelle giving everyone in the workroom unsolicited advice about 90s eyebrows, 90s hair, and 90210]
Shea Coulée: Okay, girl, we get it. You watched the show A LOT.

Valentina: I went to my high school prom and I won prom king.
Farrah: Of course you did.

Michelle: There was one note, one thing - hair flip over and over.
Tori Spelling: Hey, a lot of actresses have made a big career on a hair flip and one note bitch delivery.
Ru: Sure, yeah.
[cut to Jennie looking at Tori with an expression that says, "I know exactly who you're talking about']
Tori: But [Aja]'s not going to be one of them.

Edited May 6, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[JakeyJokes]

RuPaul: For this week's maxi challenge, we are going to go all the way back to 1993!
Farrah: Oh my god! That's the year I was born.
RuPaul: I will fuck you up.
(I was watching with my 1993-born friend so I was dying)

[ClareWalks]

1 hour ago, JakeyJokes said:

RuPaul: For this week's maxi challenge, we are going to go all the way back to 1993!
Farrah: Oh my god! That's the year I was born.
RuPaul: I will fuck you up.
(I was watching with my 1993-born friend so I was dying)

I noticed that Valentina was smart enough to not say anything!

[Sew Sumi]

Isn't Valentina 25? 

[ClareWalks]

9 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Isn't Valentina 25? 

I couldn't remember exactly, but I know she's quite young, and knows not to be all "I was born in the 90s!" to a 50-something queen who is writing checks ;)

[AntManBee]

Aja was only 22 when filming, but since she was born in 1994, she had nothing to say.

[ClareWalks]

Farrah Moan in Untucked this week, re: her latex jumpsuit she didn't get to wear: "I have to be completely covered in lube to get into this. A LOT of lube. I think there's some lube on it right now. It's KINDA makin' me horny!" If she had showed that kind of personality during the show, she'd still be around!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trinity Taylor: I'm giving you alien robotic venereal disease realness.

Shea Coulée as Teets McGee: Bitch, I said, "Where are the espadrilles?"

Shea Coulée as Teets McGee: Why are you using all these shoulder pads!
Sasha Velour as Natasha Asky: How else can I make myself look like strong woman?
Shea Coulée as Teets McGee: Vote, bitch!

Pit crew police officer: Put your legs behind your head. You're under arrest.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Peppermint: Bitch, snap the fuck out of it!

Shea Coulée: Natalie Portman? That's not part of the Coulée brand.

Trinity Taylor: Have you ever seen a dog walk in the snow? It looks like that.

Shea Coulée: I'm all for ambition, but ambition is nothing without execution.

RuPaul: The nails scream, "I am a slut!"

Michelle: Look, we're intergalactic whores. Can we have some candy?

Edited May 30, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[MaryWebGirl]

Kesha (to the other judges): You have the best job in the world!

[buttercupia]

Trinity's duct tape: "Schhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttt!"

[DollEyes]

Shea Coulee', about her Village People/construction worker look: "I had my hair in a turban, 'cause you do not want those edges to sweat out." 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Peppermint: These girls are major and all of us are hungry for that crown, so I may have to resort to other means. [serious look] I don't know what that means. [laughs] That sounded shady.
Producer: It did sound a little Tonya Harding.

Trinity Taylor: I can't really sing so I don't really know what you're going to call this.
Sasha Velour: Barnyard noises?
Peppermint: We have to rap, dance, and write. Trinity can't do any of those things.
Shea Coulée: Trinity, you in danger, girl.

Todrick: The problem with Trinity is that her rhythm game is a little delayed. I feel like I'm watching her on Skype.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ben De La Creme: I've been weeping into my overstock gift certificate for the last four years.

Milk: I think Kennedy is Chi Chi from the future coming back to tell her that she's not going to win All Stars. Bitch, they are the same person.

Trixie Mattel: This was Pearl's spot and she skated by so I'm looking to inherit that energy.

Thorgy Thor: Trixie, are you making a porno for your talent?
Trixie: No, I'm going to play violin in a red clown wig. It's kind of my thing.

Trixie: I don't have enough nipples  I need more nipples.

Milk: Can we all agree that if one of us lets the other borrow their gross rhinestone tank top that we won't save them?

[Dandesun]

Ru: I have one more queen that I'd like to introduce to the competition.

Trixie: Shangela's right there!

 

Michelle: My goal is not to make anyone cry...

Ru: But is your goal to make someone quit? Again?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Thorgy: Wake up, bitch!

Shangela: I am coming at this like Game of Thrones. I am the Daenerys Targaryen of drag. Shangela Stormborn. I'm the mother of dragons! I'm the breaker of chains! I'm coming for the crown.

Trixie: Milk, your talent can't be velcro!

Todrick: We gave our wind machine to Beyoncé.

[JakeyJokes]

(Bebe is serving executive realness)
Carson: It's the black version of The Devil Wears Prada.

Vanessa Williams: We already had the black version of The Devil Wears Prada. It was called Wilhelmina Slater.

**

Shea Coulee (re Farrah Moan): I call her Blonde Benet Gamsey. She whines like a six-year-old.

**

Phi Phi: I know I'm sickening. I don't need her to tell me that.

Willam: Nothing wrong with wanting approval from the top person in our industry.

Phi Phi: You need that to feel good about yourself?

Willam: No, but I want it.

Phi Phi: I personally don't need it.

Willam: Why are you here?

[veronicamers]

Shangela: Season 3 Shangie would've picked up my cocktail and thrown it on that ho. But, as Beyoncé has taught me, I should be a more evolved, grown woman. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trixie: Some people might say I'm fake but those people are all alcoholics.

Jeffrey: I'm scared. And a little bit horny.

Ben: Have you ever taken out a catheter?

Trixie: He's like a 5 but an LA 2.

Trixie: My first time on Drag Race, I floated until I got flushed.

Trixie: In the real world, I'm a Beyoncé but in the Drag Race world, I'm just a LaTavia.

[ClareWalks]

Jeffrey: What's your favorite body part?

Kennedy: DAT DICK.

[ClareWalks]

Jeffrey: What about your past relationships?

Kennedy: All I had was...uh, he turned out to be a crackhead, and he stole all my shit out my apartment. But I found him though, and shot his ass.

[Cosmic Muffin]

Kennedy in The Bitchelor, falls down, deep voice,"I'm a man!"

Jeffrey to RuPaul, "Will you accept my eggplant?"

[HunterHunted]

Constance Zimmer: GMO no she better don't.

[Amello]

Trixie: I like my man like I like my coffee ... incapable of loving me back!

[Dandesun]

20 hours ago, Amello said:

Trixie: I like my man like I like my coffee ... incapable of loving me back!

I did love that line but, man, Aja should have paid attention. THAT'S what needy is!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Shangela: The girls are getting mighty shady with the mirror this season, aren't they?

[heckkitty]

“The winner of the snatch game is... the Amish, because they don’t have television.”  SHADE. Ru is still a genius.