S01.E06: Entree-vous

[sasha206]

4 hours ago, Slider said:

Throwing around comparisons of rapists and guys who are jerks does nothing to help women or to help stop the rape culture. I think his comments and attitude are being taken a bit too far.  He never put his hand on her in an aggressive manner, and he never threatened her with physical harm or tried to do anything, he only made remarks and comments.  Disgusting and unacceptable comments, but to suggest that it would have led to rape by comparing him to a convicted rapist doesn't help anyone.  I disagree that someone with a misogynistic attitude is automatically lined up with rapists and abusers.  Are they good people? No, but they aren't rapists and abusers.  

Also stereotypes don't do anyone favors either.  To generalize all frat boys as disrespectful to women and binge drinkers is wrong.  

(And just for clarification purposes, I am a woman who works closely with a campus organization at a large university that fights Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.)

He also had cameras in front of him.  My comments was his vulgarity, his disrespect, his drunken behavior, his comments that he was going to try to bang her, certainly made ME wonder what he might've done if the cameras were off.

Frankly, I'm more surprised that you seem to be defending the behavior a bit.  That he didn't lay a hand on her means he's not being absuive? You don't have to lay a hand on someone and still be abusive.  He didn't rape her, but I certainlly I hope that your counseling of women alerts them to some warning signs of behaviors to steer completely away from.

Edited June 8, 2016 by sasha206

[rehoboth]

Bryan is just gross.  The thing is will he look at his behavior and learn something and change?  Judging by his twitter remarks, I don't hold out much hope for that.  Ew.

The bright spot was Tiffany.  I have not had too high an opinion of her based on her lackadaisical work ways, drinking out of the wine bottle, suggesting a hot tub rendezvous with an obviously drunk guy.  And drunk Tiffany decided to drink more once they were back on board.  I was really, really happy when she displayed good sense and told that loser to get lost.  Thank you, Tiff.  I don't think I could go on with this series if it went any other way.

As far as Bryan having favorites, I can see why he trusts Bobby the most.  Remember Jen got up late and lied to his face on her first full work day.  There are repercussions to that.  She seems to be slowly earning his respect.  Danny, on the other hand, is going the other way.

[dosodog]

Can someone help me out? I swear I heard Tiffany in the bar, before they went back to the boat,"Ben gets cuter the more I drink" .

[Slider]

Quote

Frankly, I'm more surprised that you seem to be defending the behavior a bit.  That he didn't lay a hand on her means he's not being absuive? You don't have to lay a hand on someone and still be abusive.  He didn't rape her, but I certainlly I hope that your counseling of women alerts them to some warning signs of behaviors to steer completely away from.

I am in no way defending him, I just prefer people not label him a rapist and talk about how they know his state of mind when he hasn't been convicted in a court of law, or that any of us have any personal knowledge of him doing such things to be labeled a rapist.   

Emotional abuse is VERY real, and VERY serious.  I was speaking to physical abuse and putting his hands on her, which he did not.  

[sasha206]

I said he gave me those vibes.  I didn't say he was a rapist or he raped anyone.  I did speculate on what might have happened if she was more drunk and the cameras were off.  His behavior and attitudes towards her didn't make me think he was just being bawdy.  

It's kind of like when we see someone sloppy drunk *as he was* and think they're alcoholic.  Are they alcoholic?  Maybe not.  But when they show themselves to be a drunk on a reality show, you speculate.    HIs very entitled, mysognistic, disgusting remarks to her before and after (with his bros) and his lack of remorse for his behavior leads me to conclude that had she been more drunk and the cameras hadn't been on, he might've been more aggressive with her.

Again, this is a forum where we talk about people, personalities, etc.  and what they show us on a TV reality show they signed up for.  We're not asking for a citizens arrest to be made here.  

But for me, I'd been frightened if I saw my daughter in a hot tub with someone that drunk who said he was going to f*ck her and then asked her to sit on his thumb.  

[Fostersmom]

19 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

While I do think Bryan is a mean drunk, I do not think he hates Jen. I just do not think his personality gels with hers. She is a bit more aloof than the rest of the crew, which is completely fine, but I think Bryan and Bobby have a pretty similar temperament. I do think Bryan and Jen got off on the wrong foot with the oversleeping nonsense. I do think Bryan liked Danny more before all the poem garbage went down. That seemed to be when Bryan and Bobby put the brakes on whatever friendship they had with Danny. So now I do think Bryan isn't a fan of Danny and almost rightfully so in my opinion. Danny has had some major screw-ups so I can see why Bryan might be on his ass. Though less Danny in this episode was a win in my book.

 

1 hour ago, rehoboth said:

 

As far as Bryan having favorites, I can see why he trusts Bobby the most.  Remember Jen got up late and lied to his face on her first full work day.  There are repercussions to that.  She seems to be slowly earning his respect.  Danny, on the other hand, is going the other way.

 

I think Bryan is a sexist ass and since Jen's not only a female, but one not willing to now, or ever, sleep with him or fawn over him, he literally has no use for her. Yes, she over slept once and lied about it, but she hasn't been shown doing it again. How many times have we seen Danny be completely over involved with the guests, a wreck of a crew member, and deserving of being fired? Meanwhile Bryan continues to act like Jen isn't there and give Tiffany things to do that his actual crew member is turned away from or special kudos to Danny for managing not to be a complete train wreck for a few hours of a charter. The real problem is Jen's not playing the dudebro frat boy game or a potential hookup. On the rare moment he actually sucks it up and has her do something, he does so in the most condescending way possible and all but straight says to her face he doesn't think she can handle anything but wiping a counter dry. 

[Belowdeckchatter]

Ahh... Tif is a big girl. Didn't she say she was 30?

Anyway, Bryan is only guilty of having poor judgement.

1.)He become sloppy drunk with coworkers

2.)He thinks that is is okay to Hook up with coworkers even though he is in a supervisor position.

Overall, I like Bryan but  I do not think he is as professional as he thinks that he is.

Also think that Hanna should have just apologized to Ben for the mix up & Ben should have just let it go. I think the problem is that Hanna thinks she runs the stews and the galley. I thought Ben out ranked the chief stew? Anyway, I think that is what made Ben angry. Hanna is ordering Ben around like a 3rd stew.

[biakbiak]

I don't understand how Hannah and the guests thought that huge plate of prawns was an appetizer. That said I don't think I would describe a main and dessert as a two course meal, I mean it's technically true but I could see why Hannah thought there would be two savory courses. How she handled the aftermath was ridiculous and showed she has no problem solving skills. 

[JoJoPowerRanger]

19 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I don't understand how Hannah and the guests thought that huge plate of prawns was an appetizer. That said I don't think I would describe a main and dessert as a two course meal, I mean it's technically true but I could see why Hannah thought there would be two savory courses. How she handled the aftermath was ridiculous and showed she has no problem solving skills. 

THIS. Over and over Hannah kept saying, "I thought Ben said X Y Z," just wasting time complaining/placing blame instead of looking for a solution. I was disappointed and my mind immediately went to Kate who seemed pretty great at problem solving. (Remember on season 3 when the charter guests didn't see any sharks on their shark dive, so Kate tried to make a shark head out of cardboard to make up for it? LOL)  

And also, even though Hannah works the interior, I feel like it's dangerous to work on a boat and be a poor troubleshooter.  

[Scootman]

Jeez, where to start.

Bryan is terrible, a real butthead and Tiff made a solid decision to call off the possible hook up. But he was never a threat to Tiff, he didn't grab her or threaten her. In fact he got his feelings hurt and left the spa area first, right? He crudely suggested sex and deserved to be rebuffed, but that's not criminal.

On the subject of Jen, Brian is clearly playing favorites and I agree with the wise poster who pointed out that Brian basically has no idea how to deal with her. And Bobby has made mistakes too, such as bringing the girls on board. He was forgiven pretty fast.

But cheer up Jen: the way these idiot guys are acting, one of the other single girls may say what the hell and take a dip in the lady pond, lol.

And I have no idea whether Hannah or Ben is right. Hannah panicked a bit, and we know Ben can get a little surly in these situations. hopefully they work it out.

[sasha206]

8 hours ago, Scootman said:

Jeez, where to start.

Bryan is terrible, a real butthead and Tiff made a solid decision to call off the possible hook up. But he was never a threat to Tiff, he didn't grab her or threaten her. In fact he got his feelings hurt and left the spa area first, right? He crudely suggested sex and deserved to be rebuffed, but that's not criminal.

 

Right.  My comments were that he gave me rapey vibes.  And I wondered what would've happened if THERE WERE NO CAMERAS following them and what could've happened if Tiffany was in worse shape.  I can't speak for the other posters, but I think that's the general vibe.  

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

Who's The (Brat-)Wurst On Below Deck Med?

Sarah D. Bunting regrets nothing about that pun. Also: it's Bryan. Bryan is the worst. Shut up, Bryan.

[Long Spot]

11 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Right.  My comments were that he gave me rapey vibes.  And I wondered what would've happened if THERE WERE NO CAMERAS following them and what could've happened if Tiffany was in worse shape.  I can't speak for the other posters, but I think that's the general vibe.  

You can speak for me.  He gave me those vibes as well.  I mean, seriously wrapped up in a misogynistic, belittling entitled man child fit, but yeah.  Those "she wanted it" vibes were there. 

[sasha206]

2 hours ago, Long Spot said:

You can speak for me.  He gave me those vibes as well.  I mean, seriously wrapped up in a misogynistic, belittling entitled man child fit, but yeah.  Those "she wanted it" vibes were there. 

And he also strikes me as one of those guys that was probably a real dork in school and then bloomed a bit more when he got older.  His features are birdlike to me but maybe in certain angles he looks okay and he's got a nice boyd.  Wouldn't surprise me if he's a little hostile to women b/c he was a dork when he was younger.

[methodwriter85]

On 6/8/2016 at 11:27 AM, HunterHunted said:

Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigma_Alpha_Epsilon?wprov=sfla1

Many of their chapters have gotten into trouble for being racist, anti-Semitic, and subjecting their pledges to horrible hazing.

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2015/11/sigma-alpha-epsilon-fraternity-yale

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/05/19/sae-fraternity-suspended-for-racist-and-anti-semitic-slurs/

They got kicked off of my campus back in 2009 because of a pledge who died of an overdose, so yeah, not the best reputation.

I just found the whole scene disturbing on so many levels, especially from a guy who looks very much like 30 has gotten behind him yet he still acted like a slurring 19-year old.

[Trooper York]

As I was watching this show with my wife we speculated what would happen if we had enough money to sail on this yacht. Now she is gluten, dairy, corn and soy free and every night I have to work at making a delicious and tasty meal  within those parameters. Which I do. All it takes is a little effort and fresh ingredients. But we wondered if we were on this show and presented these requirements to the staff.....what would happen? You know what would happen.

Hannah and the serving staff would roll their eyes and complain non stop. Ben would not adhere to these requirements and use gluten or dairy and lie about it. You know they would do something like that. Complain. Lie. Endanger the guests well being.

I would have to either cook the food myself or supervise it from the cupboard to the table. I would not trust any of them as far as I could throw  them. And I would throw them. Overboard.

Each and everyone of the them should be fired and never get a job in the hospitality industry again.

[sasha206]

On 6/8/2016 at 8:13 PM, Slider said:

I am in no way defending him, I just prefer people not label him a rapist and talk about how they know his state of mind when he hasn't been convicted in a court of law, or that any of us have any personal knowledge of him doing such things to be labeled a rapist.   

Emotional abuse is VERY real, and VERY serious.  I was speaking to physical abuse and putting his hands on her, which he did not.  

By the way, I do get what were you are coming from.  I apologize if I sounded nasty in response!

[biakbiak]

Ben has been fine with actual allergy issues. They mocked poem girl because she had been eating fish and meat until the final meal and the other guest didn't let anyone know about his mercury issues until after the tuna had been served.

Edited June 11, 2016 by biakbiak

[hatchetgirl]

Quote

Tiffany was strong willed and sure of herself enough to know that it wasn't a good situation and she took her power and used it.  Go Tiff!  I wish more women were that self aware and confident

I wish women were more confident as well, but, while I appreciate you congratulating Tiff on leaving, it seems as if you are doing a bit of "wel women need to know what is going on our bad things happen to them because their fault." Sort of like "don't wear that short skirt and don't drink." Men need to be just as responsible as women. 

[heatherchandler]

19 hours ago, hatchetgirl said:

I wish women were more confident as well, but, while I appreciate you congratulating Tiff on leaving, it seems as if you are doing a bit of "wel women need to know what is going on our bad things happen to them because their fault." Sort of like "don't wear that short skirt and don't drink." Men need to be just as responsible as women. 

I agree, it is putting the onus on the woman to get out of a situation.  The responsibility is on the man, to not rape.  Also, confidence doesn't keep a person from getting raped.

That being said, Bryan was suuuuper creepy but I didn't get a rapist vibe from him.  Just a asshole, icky loser vibe. 

Edited June 13, 2016 by heatherchandler

[bosawks]

On 6/10/2016 at 9:57 PM, Trooper York said:

As I was watching this show with my wife we speculated what would happen if we had enough money to sail on this yacht. Now she is gluten, dairy, corn and soy free and every night I have to work at making a delicious and tasty meal  within those parameters. Which I do. All it takes is a little effort and fresh ingredients. But we wondered if we were on this show and presented these requirements to the staff.....what would happen? You know what would happen.

If Grenadine is gluten/dairy/corn/soy free you're golden!

[Kiss my mutt]

SAE frat stands for sex above everything, at least what I was told. In college, we avoided that house like the plague. 

[Slider]

Quote

 

I wish women were more confident as well, but, while I appreciate you congratulating Tiff on leaving, it seems as if you are doing a bit of "wel women need to know what is going on our bad things happen to them because their fault." Sort of like "don't wear that short skirt and don't drink." Men need to be just as responsible as women. 

NOT AT ALL what I said.  That's taking my comments way out of context.  

Quote

By the way, I do get what were you are coming from.  I apologize if I sounded nasty in response!

Not at all - I just wanted to clarify my remarks. All is well!

Edited June 14, 2016 by Slider
Additional comment.

[WCToAlm]

Went to HS with Bryan .

Edited June 22, 2016 by WCToAlm

[hatchetgirl]

11 hours ago, WCToAlm said:

Went to HS with Bryan .

And...