Do you speak Real Housewives?

[HunterHunted]

Inspired by a post over in Beverly Hills, I figured we needed a place to put together a Housewives dictionary where we could catalogue all of our favorite Housewives turns of phrase, malaprops, and mispronunciations.

Cyst and Decease letter--coined by Tamra Barney on RHoOC; it means a cease and desist letter.

Kudooz-- coined by Ramona Singer on RHoNY; it means kudos.

Regay-- coined by Ramona Singer on RHoNY; it means reggae.

Fenimist--coined by Gamble Breaux on RHoMelbourne; it means feminist.

Mongrel-- coined by Lydia Schiavello on RHoMelbourne; it means multiracial or ethnically mixed.

Ingrediences--coined by Teresa Giudice on RHoNJ; it is the plural of ingredient.

Cleansy--coined by Teresa Giudice on RHoNJ; it means clean.

Distann--coined by Teresa Giudice on RHoNJ; it means distanced.

Wench--coined by Melissa Gorga on RHoNJ; it means wretch.

Work ethnic--coined by Melissa Gorga on RHoNJ; it means work ethic or the value of being hardworking.

Perturd--coined by Porsha Stewart on RHoA; it means perturbed.

Caburlesque--coined by Sonja Morgan on RHoNY; it is a hybrid of a cabaret and a burlesque show, which is too long and will result in Sonja taking off her clothes.

Edited April 17, 2016 by HunterHunted

[KFC]

Italian friends/the Italians: Coined by Luann De Lesseps on RHONY. Code for "last night's greasy trick."

 

Suntheen: Coined by Gretchen Rossi on RHOC. Used in place of "something."

 

Indiscrepancies: Coined by either Gretchen Rossi or Lauri Peterson Waring on RHOC. A mashup of "indiscretion" and "discrepancy." 

 

"I Own it": Used by many a HW, although one might attribute its HW origins to Bethenny Frankel on RHONY. For when a HW says something mean and bitchy but refuses to admit said comment was mean and bitchy.

 

"Making a mountain out of a holemill": Coined by Ramona Singer on RHONY. Intended to be "making a mountain out of a molehill." Used interchangeably with "making lemons into lemonade" by Kelly Bensimon, also of RHONY.

 

Pile-on/Gang up: Coined by any and every HW who has had more than one HW go after her and wishes to paint herself as the victim, justified or not.

 

The Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick: Coined by Camille Grammer on RHOBH. Used to describe Resnick, Faye. Accurate. Also, THE. BEST. NICKNAME. EVER.

Edited April 16, 2016 by KFC

[100PercentPain]

Sitting in the car waiting for my kids to finish napping and I am dangerously close to waking them with giggles.

It would be a shame if I didn't add the inspiration for my username to this thread.

100% Pain - Coined by Kim Richards of RHOBH. The most pain. All the pain. Total pain.

[HunterHunted]

'mercial--coined by Porsha Williams on RHoA. It is a diminutive of commercial.

[Chrissytd]

Wrath of furry - Coined by Gretchen Rossi RHOC; it means wrath of fury.

Fraudulent slip - Coined by Karen Huger of RHOP; it means Freudian slip.

Edited April 18, 2016 by Chrissytd

[link417]

mute point - coined by RHOP Cherrisse (I think?); it means 'moot point.'

We could probably make a whole dictionary from RHOA alone:

bridemaid - coined by RHOA Nene; it means 'bridesmaid.'

juvial - coined by RHOA husband ex-con/re-con Apollo; it means 'jovial.'

specter - coined by RHOA Porsha; it means 'scepter.'

huzzbin - coined by RHOA Phaedra; it means 'husband.'

Chateau Sheree - coined by RHOA Sheree; it means 'pipe dream.' SEE ALSO: Never Neverland.

viewing - coined by RHOA Sheree; it means 'fashion show with no fashions.'

Edited April 23, 2016 by link417

[HunterHunted]

I forgot about bridemaid and viewing.

Pedigree--coined by Charrisse Jackson Jordan of RHoP; it is some sort of animal or a species of animal.

[Petunia13]

viewing - coined by RHOA Sheree; it means 'fashion show with no fashions.'

How dreadful.

[sunsheyen]

Operate on a different sector of the time scale - RHOA Apollo; it means one has no real job and hangs out at strip clubs all night, thus making it difficult to schedule activities with normal people.

[What In The]

Prostitution whore: self explanatory.

[What In The]

Ham Off: A yet to occur phenomenon where Gretchen cooks a ham on RHOC. Said in response to Heather's clam bake.

College: if verbalized by Joe G, prison. 

Pregnancy: A seemingly permanent condition if one happens to be Kim Bierman.

Carrot Cake: A crab cake if you are Brielle. A sweet cake usually served with cream cheese frosting if you are not.

Whoop It Up: Act as cray cray as you want while screaming whoo hoo.

Lemons: Little fruits that when placed in a group of nine must go in a bowl or else!

[What In The]

Shitting Sugar: RHOC when one is so happy that its like sugar is coming from their arse.

Misspoke: Whenever Vicky says one thing then another to accommodate a situation.

Hoe Down: A party that is a reminder that someone in OC is richer and can build a larger mansion than you.

Fairy Dust: A glittery substance meant to induce calm and happy feelings.

Champs: Champagne.

Glamping: Glorified camping. Glamorous.

Renting: A once unfamiliar concept to Fancy Pants Dubrow wherein a person you think is lower and more phony than yourself lives in a home they do not own.

[teapot]

Liberry-coined by Melissa Gorga.  An insanely large room with empty shelves to keep charity donations at your Christmas party

Celluloid-coined by Dorinda Medley  Gathering of icky fat on your thighs

[BogoGog24]

Worldwind - Coined by the ever articulate Teresa Guidice from RHONJ. A portmanteau word of "world" and "whirlwind," perhaps to mean when something is so insane it's turned your entire world into a whirlwind?

Fambly - Coined by Caroline Manzo of RHONJ and Manzo'd with Children. Means "family"

Textses - Teresa Guidice's way of saying "texts"

Ingredientses - Teresa's way of saying "ingredients"

[HunterHunted]

Notrocious -- coined by Kelly Dodd of RHoOC; it's possibly a neologism of noxious and atrocious because Kelly Dodd is college educated.

[BogoGog24]

Corn rolls - Teresa speak for the hairstyle of cornrows

[SongbirdHollow]

It's been 24 hours...nobody has mentioned the enema/edamame thing yet? (Teresa RHONJ)

[Iguessnot]

Typical Teresa. But what really cracked me up was that Joe Gorga seemed clueless about both words.

[RedheadZombie]

Justin Beaver - Teresa's version of Bieber. 

[Bronzedog]

Going back to last year when we were celebrating Lentil season.

[Muffyn]

Ah lentil season, when we each pick our favorite color of lentils and make a dish to share with our loved ones.  The air is redolent with the scent of lentil soup, dal, lentil and rice salad.  The children's eye shine with delight when Meemaw brings out a platter of lentil cakes.  Such wonderful memories.

[becauseIsaidso]

18 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

Justin Beaver - Teresa's version of Bieber. 

No surprise there from a woman who is as crotch oriented as this slimy she-grifter.

[RedheadZombie]

Christmas - the day that Jesus either died or was resurrected.*

*This information brought to you by Juicy Joe.

[breezy424]

Caroline pronouncing 'enveloped' as in an envelope you put your mail in when she meant enveloped as in the past tense of envelop.

[BogoGog24]

On August 24, 2016 at 4:53 PM, RedheadZombie said:

Christmas - the day that Jesus either died or was resurrected.*

*This information brought to you by Juicy Joe.

I seriously don't get this one still. Even non-Christians know what Christmas is.

Edited August 27, 2016 by BogoGog24

[JennyMominFL]

Did no one mention a N'orwegian.. a really bad winter storm

[Giselle]

"Cum-in"- cumin as pronounced by Theresa at her food photo shoot for her cookbook.

"Semolena"- a poison in raw chicken according to Joe Go. Not salmonella.

Edited August 29, 2016 by Giselle

[AndySmith]

Short clip, but worth posting...skip ahead to 02:35 where Andy has to correct Teresa's use of distant vs. distanced...poor Teresa. She is just so un-ducated.