Long Lost Family - General Discussion

[Snarklepuss]

9 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Did anyone else wonder if maybe Michelle's birth mother was white? She looked like she could have been mixed race, and it would kind of explain why maybe her mother never told her father she was pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption. Also, I was confused about something here. When they got the DNA results, it linked Michelle to one of her father's two sisters. Then they said neither sister had a child so they couldn't be the birth mother. But then later after we met Wayne he said he was the only one in his family without biological children. ?? So, did his sisters have kids or not? And why did he specify "biological?" Did he have adopted children?

Thank you, I thought it was just me that was confused about this because I was tired when I watched it!  Maybe when Wayne said his sisters didn't have a child he meant one that they gave up for adoption, not that they never had kids at all.  I also wondered why Wayne thought he couldn't have children.  I thought maybe he was married and tried to have kids with his wife but it never happened. 

ETA:  I agree with you that Michelle looked like she could be of mixed race.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Snarklepuss

[Suzysite]

I thought they said that Wayne's sisters hadn't had any babies "at that time", meaning by 1969 when Michelle was born.  They could very well have all had children later on.   And I also figured her bio mom was probably white.

[riverblue22]

52 minutes ago, Suzysite said:

I thought they said that Wayne's sisters hadn't had any babies "at that time", meaning by 1969 when Michelle was born.  They could very well have all had children later on.   And I also figured her bio mom was probably white.

Michelle may figure out her mother in the future if she keeps an eye on Ancestry DNA results.  Someday she might come up with an aunt, uncle, our cousin from her mother's family.

And I also was confused a bit about Wayne's sisters, but I think they meant that they hadn't given up any babies for adoption.

[Quof]

Wayne's sisters hadn't had children by 1969 when Michelle was born, so they couldn't be her mother.  Doesn't mean they didn't have them later. 

[Snarklepuss]

7 hours ago, Quof said:

Wayne's sisters hadn't had children by 1969 when Michelle was born, so they couldn't be her mother.  Doesn't mean they didn't have them later. 

They didn't have children by 1969 that Wayne knows of and what they were willing to admit to.  Who knows if they might have had hidden a pregnancy from him?  While I wouldn't want to mistrust them at their word it's still a possibility unless they were too young at the time.  But I'm under the impression that the DNA test later confirmed he was Michelle's father so the issue is moot anyway.

[Jadzia]

8 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

They didn't have children by 1969 that Wayne knows of and what they were willing to admit to.  Who knows if they might have had hidden a pregnancy from him? 

I don't think the show got the info from Wayne, it was the other way around. They contacted the sister first based on the DNA test and she provided the info on her siblings, which is how they narrowed it down to one of the brothers.

[Toothbrush]

Much better (uplifting) stories than last week. Both adoptees seemed to really bond with their biological family member(s) in a genuine way, and none of the adoptees (including David) seemed to have had a bad life like we hear about so often on this show. 

Wayne seems like such a kind man, and he & his sisters seemed so happy to have found Michelle. I'm so glad Wayne told her that, had he known about her, his family would have banded together to raise her. His explanation to Lisa about why he didn't remember Michelle's bio mother was truthful, yet tactful. I also think that Michelle is biracial, which may help to jog Wayne's memory. Or not. For now they have each other, and I hope Michelle finds the connection she is looking for. She seems like a wonderful woman, and I'm glad she had a happy life with her adoptive family.

Tom & David's story was pretty amazing; things could have ended up so much differently for them. I was so relieved to hear that the man who killed Paul was not either's bio father, so I can only imagine how relieved they must have felt to learn this. I guess neither bio father was aware of the situation &/or willing or able to take David or Tony, when he was born. They mentioned that bio mom was arrested, and I wonder if Tony was born in prison. When David opened his door, there was no doubt that he & Tony were brothers - bio mom's genes were strong for sure.   

[Snarklepuss]

On 11/15/2017 at 11:18 AM, Jadzia said:

I don't think the show got the info from Wayne, it was the other way around. They contacted the sister first based on the DNA test and she provided the info on her siblings, which is how they narrowed it down to one of the brothers.

Even if so, it's still second hand information on at least one sister and the sister being questioned would have had to be believed without any doubt.  But like I said, it's irrelevant now anyway since they pursued the brother angle and had success.

[iMonrey]

This was another nice episode with some pieces missing. I can understand why they were deliberately vague about the kind of abuse Kendra suffered after she went to live with her mother and stepfather but it still left me questioning - was her mother abusing her, or her stepfather, or both? I also kind of wonder if the reason her mother never told her about her father is because her mother knew he was gay. I feel for Kendra but I'm afraid she's idolized this fantasy image of her father for so long he's never going to be able to live up her her expectations. Also, her voice is kind of annoying {/shallow.}

The story about Walter's sister was sweet but who the heck names their kid Bonniebea? 

[Jadzia]

6 hours ago, iMonrey said:

The story about Walter's sister was sweet but who the heck names their kid Bonniebea? 

I loved the look on her face when Chris told her that her brother had named his daughter after her and then he had to explain to her that her name was really Nanette. For an instant I think she was also wondering the same thing about who would name their kid Bonniebea ha ha.

I really enjoyed this episode and grabbed the Kleenex. I thought it was so sweet how Kendra's dad accepted the news of having a daughter. The aspect of him being gay and thinking he'd never have kids of his own was something we had never seen on this show and it was such an interesting twist. I was wondering what his husband thought about the reveal and if he had wanted kids too.

[Angeltoes]

Maybe Bonniebea is a combination of her grandmas' names.

It drives me nuts when someone arrives for their reunion and they paaaause on the front porch instead of ripping the door off the hinges to get inside like most people would.

Chris Jacobs seems to be a sweetheart. He has such a kind face.

Edited November 22, 2017 by Angeltoes

[Snarklepuss]

This was one episode where I didn't reach for the Kleenex although I did find it heartwarming.  Walter's incessant sobbing actually put me off.  OK, shed a few tears but geez, get a grip, dude.  I thought Kendra and her father had a cute connection.  He was so young when she was born that they don't look like father and daughter although the resemblance is there.  I could understand that she must have figured he was a nice person because she knew how she was and she wasn't like her mother, so therefore the "niceness" had to come from her father.  In her case it appears she was right.  They do seem to be similar in a lot of ways.  I doubt that her mother ever knew he was gay as he said himself that he didn't come out with it until a couple of years later, presumably after he didn't know Kendra's mother anymore.  And I'm sure he probably didn't broadcast it to everyone even if he did know her.

[Lovecat]

8 hours ago, Angeltoes said:

Chris Hanson seems to be a sweetheart. He has such a kind face.

He does indeed, but his name is Chris Jacobs...Chris Hanson is the To Catch a Predator guy.  Very different show :)

That's actually one of the things I like about this show...the hosts are so very gentle and kind.  I mean, I know we're being emotionally manipulated, but I don't even mind, because they're so NICE!

Edited November 22, 2017 by Lovecat

[riverblue22]

I was worried that Kendra was in for a fall since she seemed so needy.  I was surprised when her dad actually seemed to want the same thing.  I think it helps that Kendra has her own family and brings grandchildren to the reunion.  If she was single and alone, I think she would overwhelm her dad with neediness.

[Angeltoes]

Quote

 

He does indeed, but his name is Chris Jacobs...Chris Hanson is the To Catch a Predator guy.  Very different show :)

Lol, thank you, I had a suspicion I was mixing up names.  We used to watch the predator guy which is why his name stuck in my head.

[Lovecat]

24 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

Lol, thank you, I had a suspicion I was mixing up names.  We used to watch the predator guy which is why his name stuck in my head.

I went to college with a guy who has the same name as the predator guy.  Not a predator.  As far as I know...  I get all of these Chrises confused, too.  Jacobs, Hardwick, Hanson, the guy who hosts the Bachelor...

[iMonrey]

Quote

 I think it helps that Kendra has her own family and brings grandchildren to the reunion.  If she was single and alone, I think she would overwhelm her dad with neediness.

True. But I really would like to see a follow-up to this. She said she had no relationship with her mother now, but she's apparently still alive. At some point her father is going to want to confront her mother and ask why she never told him he had a daughter. I know I would. After the shock and surprise of finding out he has a daughter wears off it's likely there's going to be a little anger there too about never knowing. 

[Angeltoes]

Mom may not have remembered his name.

[Snarklepuss]

10 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

Mom may not have remembered his name.

And/or he may not have been the only guy in the picture at the time.

Edited November 22, 2017 by Snarklepuss

[iMonrey]

No, she did tell Kendra his name was Daniel. That part turned out to be true. But even Daniel shed little to no light on the situation - how well they did or didn't know each other, for example, and whether they ever saw each other again. I'm assuming it was a one-night stand situation but at the very least Kendra's mother did remember the guy's name and knew it was him.

[Quof]

Jeezuz, at first I thought Kendra had a medical condition that caused that voice, maybe as simple as recovering from laryngitis.  But I assume they film over several weeks, at least, so that wasn't it. I think it was just part of the needy little girl persona.  It grated like a Kardashian vocal fry.

[Pepper Mostly]

8 hours ago, iMonrey said:

But even Daniel shed little to no light on the situation - how well they did or didn't know each other, for example, and whether they ever saw each other again.

Daniel said that they met at a bar, she was alluring and mysterious, they went to her place and one thing led to another, he was only 18 and coming to terms with his sexuality. If I recall correctly he said he never saw her again after that. He was so regretful and told Kendra that had he known she was pregnant he would have been present in her life. 

[riverblue22]

I'm glad that Cameron was reunited with his family.  He seems to have found a home in the military, but his brothers will provide the sense of family he was missing.

[Snarklepuss]

It was just refreshing to see a 24 year old already married and with their own home.  You don't see that much in my area anymore.

[steff13]

I loved this week's episode.  I was so happy with the brothers hugging at the end.  And Cameron's picture in his military uniform in front of a TARDIS was just everything.  :)

 

I live in Middletown, Ohio, so I was excited about the one filmed in Middletown a couple of weeks ago.  I don't know the gentleman on the show (David?) but I do have friends who do. 

[Jadzia]

I love this show but I wish they would give us more detail on the people they find. I found myself wondering if the mom they found ever had other children or what her life was like now. And was I the only one who thought their reunion seemed a little reserved and awkward? It seemed not as emotional as others have seen, although I really liked seeing his adoptive mom meet his birth mom.

He never mentioned finding his father but I wondered if she would identify him so he could find him too. But the fact that she said she gave him up for adoption because he wanted to be more involved/controlling made him sound kind of scary.

Also, how come the adoptive mom never explained why the letters stopped at age 5? The birth mom seemed well aware that was part of the "deal" and you would think his adoptive parents would know that as well. It seems like that hurt the kid more than if he had never gotten any letters to begin with. And it was weird how Chris was talking to him like he was cognizant at age 1 on letters from the birth mom. At that age it seemed like it was more for the adoptive mom, but he was able to appreciate them more when he was older.

[riverblue22]

4 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

It was just refreshing to see a 24 year old already married and with their own home.  You don't see that much in my area anymore.

It's probably pretty common in St. George, Utah where he lives.  It's heavily Mormon and they marry and start families young. 

[AZChristian]

57 minutes ago, Jadzia said:

I love this show but I wish they would give us more detail on the people they find. I found myself wondering if the mom they found ever had other children or what her life was like now. And was I the only one who thought their reunion seemed a little reserved and awkward? It seemed not as emotional as others have seen, although I really liked seeing his adoptive mom meet his birth mom.

He never mentioned finding his father but I wondered if she would identify him so he could find him too. But the fact that she said she gave him up for adoption because he wanted to be more involved/controlling made him sound kind of scary.

Also, how come the adoptive mom never explained why the letters stopped at age 5? The birth mom seemed well aware that was part of the "deal" and you would think his adoptive parents would know that as well. It seems like that hurt the kid more than if he had never gotten any letters to begin with. And it was weird how Chris was talking to him like he was cognizant at age 1 on letters from the birth mom. At that age it seemed like it was more for the adoptive mom, but he was able to appreciate them more when he was older.

I almost had a feeling of "he wanted to be controlling, but I'll show him" . . . and then she gave the baby up for adoption.  There are courts that limit visitation, etc., if the relationship with either parent is not good for the child.  If she really wanted to keep the child, then she should have dealt with that issue if one really developed.  I think she was just looking to blame someone else for her decision to give up the child.

 

ETA:  I also think that the reason they didn't talk about the birth mom's current life is because either she wouldn't allow it, or her subsequent kids didn't want to be involved.  I would think that she could have mentioned that they existed, but not given any personal information.  Again, I think SHE is very controlling.

Edited November 28, 2017 by AZChristian

[Lovecat]

I was wondering how she got the birth father to surrender parental rights in order to put Dakota up for adoption.  I mean, I'm pretty sure he knew she was pregnant, but if he was *that* controlling, I can't see him giving the baby up without a fight.  I just thought there was more to the story there.

ETA:  Ah, found this...she probably didn't ID him as the father on the birth certificate.

Quote

Birth fathers: Unwed birth fathers must take steps to establish paternity before their consent to the adoption is required. A birth mother had a right of privacy and does not have to identify the father if she is unmarried. Nevertheless, if the birth mother does not identify the father or the father does not sign a consent to adoption, you should consult with an experienced adoption attorney to find out the legal risks in a particular situation. 

Edited November 28, 2017 by Lovecat

[iMonrey]

Quote

 I found myself wondering if the mom they found ever had other children or what her life was like now. And was I the only one who thought their reunion seemed a little reserved and awkward?

Yup and yup. First of all, I do think that Stacey had other children, although whether she married or kept those children is a mystery. But notice when Chris hands her a picture of Dakota he says "This is your first child, Dakota." No reason to say that unless there are other children. As to the awkwardness of the meeting, I think it's an extension of Stacey's reluctance to say much - on camera, anyway. I feel like she definitely kept Dakota in her heart judging by the letters and gifts she sent him those first five years but I think she's had other stuff going on in her life she didn't want revealed on the show. 

When you think about it, this show can be pretty manipulative, if it wants to be. Say they contacted Stacey and told her that Dakota was looking for her. Maybe she wanted to meet him very much but the show held out for her appearing on camera and talking about the adoption. What if she didn't want to do that? Would they still let her meet Dakota? There might be some negotiation involved in these meetings.

I gathered that Cameron had a pretty rough life as a result of being taken from his family at such a young age - but old enough to be aware of the circumstances. I hope his brothers provide some emotional stability and healing for him. He seemed fairly overwhelmed by the whole thing. The middle brother, Damian, looked just like him! They even had the same glasses! I was moved by how much the two older brothers wanted to reunite with him.

Edited November 28, 2017 by iMonrey

[stormy]

Stacey said the letters stopped at age 5 because that was in the contract.

[Jadzia]

2 hours ago, stormy said:

Stacey said the letters stopped at age 5 because that was in the contract.

Yes, but I wondered why the adoptive mother didn't know that detail? Dakota seemed very hurt all his life that the letters suddenly stopped and he never knew why. I wondered why the adoptive family didn't know it was part of the deal. It seemed like that could have avoided a lot of pain for Dakota.

[LuvMyShows]

Now this is causing me to wonder if maybe there really wasn't anything in the contract requiring all contact to stop at age 5.  Given that the adoptive mother was so open about communication, you'd think that if that clause really had been in the contract, she would have had no problem telling Dakota.

[Snarklepuss]

On 11/28/2017 at 11:00 AM, riverblue22 said:

It's probably pretty common in St. George, Utah where he lives.  It's heavily Mormon and they marry and start families young. 

Oh I know, I watch "Sister Wives"!!!

[Pepper Mostly]

On 11/28/2017 at 11:55 AM, Lovecat said:

I was wondering how she got the birth father to surrender parental rights in order to put Dakota up for adoption.  I mean, I'm pretty sure he knew she was pregnant, but if he was *that* controlling, I can't see him giving the baby up without a fight.  I just thought there was more to the story there.

 

Oh I think Stacey had had a lot of time in the intervening years to retrofit her story in a way that she could live with. Her explanation sounded so stilted and didn't seem to hang together, to me. It started off a "sweet courtship"? But then he became "controlling"? They could have gotten married but she decided because he was so controlling not to marry him and give up the baby? And Mr. Controlling just stepped back and let this happen? I don't know, it sounded fishy. But hey, its Stacey's story and she can tell it any way she wants. But I have a sneaking suspicion that she and the father had a casual, non exclusive relationship that was fun and frolic until she wound up pregnant, then her BF turned out to be a jerk, and dumped her. She was odd with Dakota, her affect was weird the whole time.

I LOVED the brothers. James is a mensch, what a lovely man.

[Snarklepuss]

14 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Oh I think Stacey had had a lot of time in the intervening years to retrofit her story in a way that she could live with. Her explanation sounded so stilted and didn't seem to hang together, to me. It started off a "sweet courtship"? But then he became "controlling"? They could have gotten married but she decided because he was so controlling not to marry him and give up the baby? And Mr. Controlling just stepped back and let this happen? I don't know, it sounded fishy. But hey, its Stacey's story and she can tell it any way she wants. But I have a sneaking suspicion that she and the father had a casual, non exclusive relationship that was fun and frolic until she wound up pregnant, then her BF turned out to be a jerk, and dumped her. She was odd with Dakota, her affect was weird the whole time.

I can imagine a scenario where being controlling doesn't necessarily translate into wanting to raise a child, but I agree that they probably broke up before she gave birth and he wasn't really interested in a commitment with her or the baby anyway.

[iMonrey]

I barely remembered either of these two cases they revisited. 

I'd really like to know the details behind Heidi's conception - her mother was only 12?? Since Theresa said she "shamed" her family I'm guessing the pregnancy was a result of consensual sex and not a rape or incest situation, but wow. 12. And yet, now Theresa's family embraces Heidi as one of their own. I guess they forgave Theresa eventually.

The thing about Angelo's daughters is that they were undoubtedly better off in foster care if their parents were substance abusers and/or alcoholics, but it's kind of hard to wrap my head around the fact that neither Angelo nor the mother ever tried to stay in contact with their kids. I'm pretty sure Angelo ended up having at least one other kid, too - didn't Diana and Jeanette meet a brother at the end? It seems like Angelo just sort of wrote them off.

[LuvMyShows]

At some point, Theresa said she was just a country bumpkin and no one told her much, so I took that to mean that she had sex at age 12 but had no idea that that's what led to getting pregnant.

[Snarklepuss]

And to think I had a little hand in making you possible......LOL!

OK, I know I'm going straight to hell, I'll see myself out....

[Suzysite]

About the "donor" siblings...I honestly thought they were going to tell the brother that his bio dad was actually the dad who had raised them.  One photo showed them side by side and they had identical noses, eye shape, brows, and eye color.   It's too bad they weren't able to say who his real dad was, but right from the get-go I knew the siblings had different fathers. 

[Quof]

God, that was boring.  Why did this need 2 hours?  I must admit, I still haven't watched the last 30 minutes but Christina's histrionics were too much for me. 

[Lovecat]

6 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

And to think I had a little hand in making you possible......LOL!

OK, I know I'm going straight to hell, I'll see myself out....

At one point I turned to DH and said, "Wow, twice a week for years?  He must have been making money hand over fist!"  I got a high-five for that one.  Hey, if the bus for hell is leaving now, wait for meeeee!!!

1 hour ago, Suzysite said:

About the "donor" siblings...I honestly thought they were going to tell the brother that his bio dad was actually the dad who had raised them.  One photo showed them side by side and they had identical noses, eye shape, brows, and eye color.   It's too bad they weren't able to say who his real dad was, but right from the get-go I knew the siblings had different fathers. 

10 minutes ago, Quof said:

God, that was boring.  Why did this need 2 hours?  I must admit, I still haven't watched the last 30 minutes but Christina's histrionics were too much for me. 

We thought the same thing about the brother's parentage.  Good lord, can you imagine the weeping and wailing and rending of garments had that been revealed to be the case?  I thought those two were strangely close and codependent.  I mean, OK, they had a very strong bond due to this family secret, but there are a lot of people who have gone through a lot worse and come out the other end with the ability to keep their shit together.

These stories were both really interesting, but definitely could have been wrapped up in under 2 hours, especially if they cut out a lot of Christina's blubbering.  They were stretching to start with, and then tacked on an update to another case in order to fill the remaining time.  Sigh.  It's gotten to the point where I enjoy the front part of this show (the searching) MUCH more than the reunions...although the number of cases they've been solving just with Ancestry DNA (DRINK!!) take some of the mystery and fun out of it, too (I do love Jenn Utley, though!).  It just feels a bit icky to be watching these people at one of the most emotionally-charged moments of their life.  I'd much rather they elaborate a bit more on the search, cut the reunion a little shorter, and give us an update about 6 months after.   

[Mrs. Hanson]

19 minutes ago, Quof said:

God, that was boring.  Why did this need 2 hours?  I must admit, I still haven't watched the last 30 minutes but Christina's histrionics were too much for me. 

I will be watching this thread to see others reactions to both of these.  I agree Christina was so emotional - was being a full sibling that big o a deal to her?  Obviously as I thought she was going to vomit when it was revealed her and her brother had different dads.

Per the Basket on Doorway baby - Mom left baby on doorstep due to abusive hubby in 1976, correct?  Little sister (full sister) was born in 1979 so either Mom went back for more or Dad forced himself upon little sister.  Was it ever determined what her true birthday was? 

Christina and Sperm Donor Dad - just.....I am not sure.  He contracted to give sperm to make a baby, now we want an emotional connection?  Is my heart made of cold dark stone?  I think Christina is looking for stuff that may not be there, I see that relationship fizzling out in a bit.  Brother's bio dad is not wanting to be found - he is over and out. 

I do have to give it up to the folks finding the long lost families - needles in haystacks for certain!

6 minutes ago, Lovecat said:

We thought the same thing about the brother's parentage.  Good lord, can you imagine the weeping and wailing and rending of garments had that been revealed to be the case?  I thought those two were strangely close and codependent.  I mean, OK, they had a very strong bond due to this family secret, but there are a lot of people who have gone through a lot worse and come out the other end with the ability to keep their shit together.

I thought the same thing.  They were oddly close - I love my sibs but damn.

 

6 minutes ago, Lovecat said:

At one point I turned to DH and said, "Wow, twice a week for years?  He must have been making money hand over fist!"  I got a high-five for that one.  Hey, if the bus for hell is leaving now, wait for meeeee!!!

1 hour ago, Suzysite said:

I turned to my hubby and he made a face.....well let's just say he made a face.

[Justaguess]

11 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

 

What a waste of valuable resources to go chasing after sperm donors.  They did not donate to help people out.  Donor Daddy got his 5 minutes of fame.  I kept waiting for the door to open during their reunion for lines of people to come filing in.....all linked to donor Daddy.  ??

[Quof]

Quote

 I thought those two were strangely close and codependent.

Flowers in the Attic.

[Quof]

Quote

 I thought those two were strangely close and codependent.

Flowers in the Attic.

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, Justaguess said:

What a waste of valuable resources to go chasing after sperm donors.  They did not donate to help people out.  Donor Daddy got his 5 minutes of fame.  I kept waiting for the door to open during their reunion for lines of people to come filing in.....all linked to donor Daddy.  ??

And at the rate that man donated......the line will be long.  

[riverblue22]

They didn't do a good job of explaining the situation of the doorstep baby.  First of all, it seemed clear to me the baby was dropped off because the abusive father didn't want it.  I'm pretty sure they said that someone got out of the passenger seat to drop the baby off--the father was probably driving the car.  Then there was the story of the "sickly" baby Angela.  I had the impression she had died but there she was on the family tree with 2 children.  My impression was that the mother finally ran away when she was pregnant with the third baby or when the baby was quite young.  I guess she also took Angela with her but it was not explained.  I do wish they had explained Angela and how she fit into all of this.  The family tree also showed that the mother married twice, so she must have gotten a divorce and married after she left the abusive husband.

It's becoming clear on the show this year that this detective work can be done by individuals, just by getting DNA tests and doing some genealogy research.  

ETA:  Christine's hysterics were just too much.  I have no idea why they included all that--it was extremely annoying.

Edited December 12, 2017 by riverblue22

[steff13]

I don't know how I feel about them chasing down a sperm donor.  I mean, the guy was ok with being found and that's great, but aren't these things done with the understanding that they're anonymous?  I would be none too impressed if a kid came chasing me down 40 years later from my "anonymous" donation. 

[Koalagirl]

8 minutes ago, steff13 said:

I don't know how I feel about them chasing down a sperm donor.  I mean, the guy was ok with being found and that's great, but aren't these things done with the understanding that they're anonymous?  I would be none too impressed if a kid came chasing me down 40 years later from my "anonymous" donation. 

40 years ago no one ever thought about DNA, Ancestry, etc. or ever being able to be traced.