S04.E12: Sean's Story

[HalcyonDays]

Everyone. You've been told time and time again, DO NOT FAT SHAME. There is a nice little MOD note that reminds you of this HERE. GO read it, since apparently everyone forgot what message it contains.

 

Comments that are clearly distasteful, classless and shame-full will be - and have been - removed. This applies to the My 600 lb Life thread, and all threads here in PTV-world. Everyone has been pretty good for a long while, so let's keep that up.

[LuciaMia]

Well, Im sure its because the show is paying all of Seans expenses, but I question the wisdom of making this health-fragile obese man travel all the way from California  to Texas for weight loss surgery. Are you gonna tell me there are no weight loss surgeons  in all  of CA? That Dr. No has some special magic touch or technique? Thats just nuts.

Leaving that…there seems to be a pattern to these patients that we find the most exasperating. The show starts with their lamenting, "How did I end up like this….I can't live like this anymore….Ill do anything to get my life back!" 

And then when they're finally in treatment its an endless litany of  "Im just not ready….This is too hard…The Dr. just doesn't understand/is being mean to me….I should be able to do this on my own, at my own speed…"

[notyrmomma]

4 hours ago, LuciaMia said:

Well, Im sure its because the show is paying all of Seans expenses, but I question the wisdom of making this health-fragile obese man travel all the way from California  to Texas for weight loss surgery. Are you gonna tell me there are no weight loss surgeons  in all  of CA? That Dr. No has some special magic touch or technique? Thats just nuts.

Dr Now is pretty much the only bariatric surgeon in the country/world who will even contemplate doing surgery on people of his size due to the risks involved.

[Shella11756]

On March 17, 2016 at 0:59 PM, Brooklynista said:

 

 

I want to vomit just reading that!  Ugh!

 

The one thing that gets me is...he's a 20 something year old man!  Don't you want to drive across country?  Hang out and get beers w the fellas??  Chase some tail??  Is life really that room, a bag (or 6) of Cheetos, and Old Mother Hubbard???

 

Where's the want to get out there??  Or has mom suppressed all of that with Live with Me Forever Burgers?

 

 

Also, didn't Sean say he started packing on weight at 10?  Even before the divorce or accident?  To me that says that mom was overfeeding him all along.  Perhaps as she saw her marriage ending, she started to cripple Sean so she would have someone to always love her.

I very rarely comment on boards like this. Quick history. I had gastric bypass 16 years ago. Less than 5%  succeed in losing weight long term. I am very fortunate to be a success story. I had open ( not laparoscopy) gastric bypass with a permanent band or sleeve as I have seen it referred to here. I have a scar from my belly button up to my breast bone. It took every day of 6 weeks to recover. My type of surgery is no longer performed, at least here in NY. My weight loss was not easy. It took me quite a while to learn what I could and could NOT physically eat. Anything bigger than a pencil eraser or that is tough will NOT go down. It will either become stuck and nothing can pass by it, not even saliva (It's pretty gross I know. You'd be shocked at how much saliva you produce in a short time) or it will come back up the same way it went down. Sometimes right away, sometimes hours later. I still have trouble once in a while but for the most part I know my limits. My stomach capacity is probably 1/-1 cup.  I was 29 & close to 400lbs. Now I fluctuate between 150-180lbs. 

I need to say a few things that this experience has taught me.

#1 - You can SABOTAGE any diet! If you drink milk shakes or consume large amounts of junk food. You will not lose any weight.

#2- Diet soda is the enemy! Actually all soda is unhealthy after this surgery because it can stretch out the pouch or sleeve that is left after surgery. Having said this, I do drink soda. I just limit it to small amounts and only at meals.

#3- The idea that 800-1500 calories a day is somehow "unfair" or "unreasonable" is incorrect. When any of the show's subjects are told to limit their intake to these amounts, it is because the Dr.'s attempting to gage your dedication to this life change. Surgery is by no means an "easy way out" of Morbid Obesity. I can assure you each one of the subjects can survive quite well on even less than 800-1000 calories. Yes it is uncomfortable & miserable. It is not more miserable than losing your life or needing heart surgery, A bit of suffering now will spare a ton of suffering later.

#4- eat to live, do NOT live to eat! 

With regards to Sean- if you listened closely to him explain when he started using food, he claimed his father was the type to "get in his face" & yell. He also claimed that he was "afraid" of what would happen if his Father ever "lost it". Well by observing the Mother's behavior I can pretty accurately explain what occurred when he was 10.

I am willing to say that his Mother was the type that refrained from disciplining Sean as a young child. That was very obvious by her feeding him "on demand" & a few of her statements concerning if you love your child..., I would bring him a treat... Etc. 

After listening to these stories, it is very clear that not only did she spare Sean discipline but she interfered with his Father disciplining Sean. This probably led to their divorce, as that relationship between a Father and a Son is usually filled with some turmoil, especially in a child whose Mother refused to correct him. If you listened carefully, he NEVER said his Father abused him in any way. 

This very much explains why Sean seems to be stuck in this child like immaturity. Some people have no idea how important the role a Father plays in child rearing. Of course there are always success stories of strong Mothers who are able to raise great children. It does not mean everyone should try it if you don't need to. There is a good reason it's takes 2 people to conceive a child. 

In Sean's case Mom was weak and lacked willpower to not only offer discipline but to say NO to Sean's destructive behavior even though she was in complete control of his diet once he became injured & bedridden. It is very obvious that his injury did not receive proper treatment when it happened. He would at least have been mobile even if he had lost all use of that leg. 

The word NO is very powerful! Of course it's easy when children whine & complain to give in to their demands or tantrums. A REAL parent knows that is not how life works. If you say No, it's NO. There is no discussion explaining exactly why in long detail. Once a child learns that a parent will not be manipulated by tantrums, whining, or disrespectful behavior, the child then discontinues that behavior and accepts the parent's answer. Not 100% of the time of course, but as a general rule and life lesson.

This lesson was completely lost on Sean's Mother, it cost her a Husband, Sean a Father and almost cost her Son his life. 

You can tell by Sean's statements that he was a very angry child ( biting, hitting etc.) and he continues to be that way as an adult. There were times you could tell he was suppressing it with Dr. Nowzardan, the Nutritionist and even the Physical Therapist. BUT... He made ZERO effort to restrain his anger with his Mother. He is trapped in that angry young boy's mindset. It will most likely take years of intensive therapy to break that behavior, if it is even possible.

I do not hold out much hope for him to be able to form adult relationships and to conform to expected social behaviors. I saw in earlier threads that a few of you remarked that he did not seem grateful for the help he was receiving from church members. I did not hear him thank anyone who offered him assistance. 

He has a very long road ahead of him mentally and challenges health-wise. 

Dr. Nowzarden is a Bariatric Surgeon, not a therapist. He is most certainly not easily fooled by excuses. He sometimes comes across as cold, but I don't think that is intentional at all. He has no time for nonsense. He has many people waiting just to get in his door. He is all about assisting these people to lose weight so they may address their other conditions; both physical & mental. Many physical ailments are eased or eliminated by the weight loss. The mental ones take some more work. 

You all are correct about the mental treatment being part of the program. There are actually quite a few medical specialties that one must be cleared by before being approved for weight loss surgery. A mental evaluation is included. Almost half of people are declined for surgery based on their mental evaluation. Most because they do not take proper responsibility for their abnormal weight gain. Sure there are ways to get around the Mental evaluation, most often by "Doctor shopping" until you find a Doctor who will approve you, or learning exactly what to say in order to be approved. In either case, most of those patients fail to lose weight and keep it off post surgery.

My experiences with the above have come from my former volunteer work with pre & post-op Bariatric surgery patients, until my surgeon retired. Luckily, I am one of his success stories. I am 1 of the 5% and have been happy to share my journey & struggles with anyone who needed it. That was my way to pay it forward.

I apologize for the long post. 

Edited July 2, 2016 by Shella11756
Incorrect spacing.

[scootypuffjr]

Quote

I apologize for the long post.

Don't apologize! I found your post very interesting and informative, and would love to hear anything further you'd like to share. You and a few others here add a unique perspective that I'm sure many of us appreciate. 

Edited July 6, 2016 by scootypuffjr
missing punctuation

[HalcyonDays]

Quote

I apologize for the long post. 

Quote

Don't apologize! I found your post very interesting and informative, and would love to hear anything further you'd like to share. You and a few others here add a unique perspective that I'm sure many of us appreciate. 

I thought it was awesome too and very informative!! Glad you made comments here and Welcome!

[Minivanessa]

I also liked your post. 

I do have a different take on Sean's father, though. Of course this is all based on scant info, which is only what Sean and his mother said in the THs on the show. 

I agree that Sean had anger/behavior issues as a kid. I came away from watching the episode, thinking that his father may have also had a short fuse. Not to say he was physically abusive, but it seems quite possible to me, that he had a short temper and was harsh with the kid. Not every man automatically knows how to handle a small child who's acting out, and a kid tantrum can easily push an unprepared parent into a harsh response. 

Obviously, mom has "spoiled" Sean, and after dad left she had a clear field to do that. But I don't assume that before he left, dad was just a wonderful great patient guy. I believe Sean when he said that his father got in his [Sean's] face and yelled, and he was afraid when that happened, and lived in fear of it happening again. I figure it was an unhappy little family unit with a child with anger/behavior issues, a father with some kind of anger/impulse control, and a mom who couldn't or wouldn't say "no". 

I hadn't thought of his mom as "weak" although that may be true. IMO, she's getting something out of the situation that she had a lot to do with creating. Sean's dependent on her. Maybe all she wanted was to be able to quit her job and not go out to work, and having a disabled son at home allowed that to happen. Maybe she'd rather take care of Sean than hold down a job and especially at first it was a relief to not have to get up and go to work every day. (Some people hate holding a job, they just do.) Maybe she didn't think it through at first and now it's gone down this path and she's not uncomfortable enough to figure out how to change the situation. 

Edited July 7, 2016 by Jeeves

[lallalla]

On 3/17/2016 at 11:28 AM, poeticlicensed said:

 

Mr Poetic, who BTW, is horrified by the show and more horrified by the fact that I watched it, asked me what an 800 calorie diet looked like, while watching him inhale an entire pizza and ask for more. I said an 800 calorie diet is likely one egg for breakfast along with a bit of grain (toast or cereal). Lunch would be a salad with a bit of protein and tiny bit of dressing, plus fruit. Dinner would be a boneless skinless chicken breast baked with no oils, fresh veggies with no butter or fat and a little bit of fruit or a sugar free jello. Period. So yeah, I'm sure Sean was freaking out over how little food he was getting

 

I thought it was very telling that when the nutritionist came over and looked in the fridge,Mom pulled out a huge container of cut apples, the kind you buy for little kids. Just another thing to treat Sean like a baby, buy him kids stuff. Also, fruit is full of sugar. Sugar is sugar whether you get it from a bag or a from an apple. And apples are full of carbs too. There are much healthier fruit choices to be made. Again, Dr. Now said he gave her the diet, yet she claims ignorance of what he should be eating. Twisted. 

Or, to put it in "real food terms", of course that's real food you mentioned but people tend to think of it as so very much "diet", that it's almost removed from the realm of "regular", let's look at McDonald's Meal Builder.

It says one cheeseburger, small order of fries, and small Coke, is 690 calories!

With the following nutritional info:

Calories690 

Calories from Fat200 

Total Fat23g (35%)

Saturated Fat7g (35%)

Trans Fat0.5g 

Cholesterol40mg (14%)

Sodium830mg (35%)

Total Carbs110g (37%)

Dietary Fiber4g (17%)

Sugars53g 

Protein17g 

Vitamin A530IU (10%)

Vitamin C20mg (35%)

Calcium200mg (20%)

Iron3.5mg (20%)

[Shella11756]

On July 6, 2016 at 9:41 AM, scootypuffjr said:

Don't apologize! I found your post very interesting and informative, and would love to hear anything further you'd like to share. You and a few others here add a unique perspective that I'm sure many of us appreciate. 

Thank you, that's sweet.

[Shella11756]

On July 7, 2016 at 0:12 AM, Jeeves said:

I also liked your post. 

I do have a different take on Sean's father, though. Of course this is all based on scant info, which is only what Sean and his mother said in the THs on the show. 

I agree that Sean had anger/behavior issues as a kid. I came away from watching the episode, thinking that his father may have also had a short fuse. Not to say he was physically abusive, but it seems quite possible to me, that he had a short temper and was harsh with the kid. Not every man automatically knows how to handle a small child who's acting out, and a kid tantrum can easily push an unprepared parent into a harsh response. 

Obviously, mom has "spoiled" Sean, and after dad left she had a clear field to do that. But I don't assume that before he left, dad was just a wonderful great patient guy. I believe Sean when he said that his father got in his [Sean's] face and yelled, and he was afraid when that happened, and lived in fear of it happening again. I figure it was an unhappy little family unit with a child with anger/behavior issues, a father with some kind of anger/impulse control, and a mom who couldn't or wouldn't say "no". 

I hadn't thought of his mom as "weak" although that may be true. IMO, she's getting something out of the situation that she had a lot to do with creating. Sean's dependent on her. Maybe all she wanted was to be able to quit her job and not go out to work, and having a disabled son at home allowed that to happen. Maybe she'd rather take care of Sean than hold down a job and especially at first it was a relief to not have to get up and go to work every day. (Some people hate holding a job, they just do.) Maybe she didn't think it through at first and now it's gone down this path and she's not uncomfortable enough to figure out how to change the situation. 

I agree that is another possibility. I found Mom's passive & lax attitude disturbing. I guess we can imagine any scenario if we think long enough. I also wondered if she was bypassing work too. I heard some states have a caregiver stipend for those taking care of someone on Social Security Disability. 

[Shella11756]

I did forget to mention that gastric bypass surgery ruined my teeth. The acid coming up from reflux is damaging. So as much as losing the weight was a godsend, losing my teeth was not. That sucked.. ! 

can I add an OT tidbit? That TLC show "My big fat fabulous life" scares me. Why. Because glorifying being fat is a terrible message to send young ladies. Sure I was fat too, I was also young like her and when you are young you can do more... But we all age & she is doing damage to her heart & joints that she has not realized yet. I do not condone shaming anyone for being overweight. But it is her choice to live this unhealthy lifestyle and I don't think she should try to claim it's ok to be that heavy.. It's not! It's unhealthy & damaging. 

If my post is too OT, I understand if MOD needs to remove it.. Just my extra 2 cents.. Thank you for the warm welcome here.. Very sweet.. - Mich

[Toaster Strudel]

Sean's mother was very self-indulgent.  What she likes is to be Sean's whole world, she loves to satisfy herself bringing him food when he asks for it, she craves the pleasure of watching her "child" wolf down her offerings like a machine going nom nom nom with gusto and satisfaction.  That behavior helps construct her identity as the ultimate pleaser and selfless martyr.

The hard reality is that she is very selfish.  She is doing all this at the expense of her son's life.  Indulging herself is more important.

[aliya]

On 7/2/2016 at 1:42 AM, Shella11756 said:

My experiences with the above have come from my former volunteer work with pre & post-op Bariatric surgery patients, until my surgeon retired. Luckily, I am one of his success stories. I am 1 of the 5% and have been happy to share my journey & struggles with anyone who needed it. That was my way to pay it forward.

I apologize for the long post. 

I am listening to Sean's story at work. I saw the show when it aired, but missed your comments, which are very insightful. Considering your recovery time for the older surgery, and even the recovery issues I see now on a FB page for people getting/with the sleeve, can you tell me how someone like Penny can eat so much food so soon after her surgery? That's the part that I, and others, just can't get. Shakes and other slider foods are one thing, but she was eating fried foods, regular food, regular portions, etc. How can you physically do that? Since you volunteered after your surgery, what did you see folks doing that sabotaged their surgery? Besides having moms like Sean's (trying to bring it back on point...)

[notyrmomma]

18 hours ago, aliya said:

I am listening to Sean's story at work. I saw the show when it aired, but missed your comments, which are very insightful. Considering your recovery time for the older surgery, and even the recovery issues I see now on a FB page for people getting/with the sleeve, can you tell me how someone like Penny can eat so much food so soon after her surgery? That's the part that I, and others, just can't get. Shakes and other slider foods are one thing, but she was eating fried foods, regular food, regular portions, etc. How can you physically do that? Since you volunteered after your surgery, what did you see folks doing that sabotaged their surgery? Besides having moms like Sean's (trying to bring it back on point...)

So I'm going to throw in my two cents although this question wasn't directed at me since this is a topic near and dear to my heart (OK, I'm obsessed, there, I said it). I had the sleeve (same surgery as Penny, Sean had the bypass) in Sept 2014 and I finally arrived at my goal weight around January 2016 and have maintained since (a total of about 165 pounds lost) and I HAVE NO IDEA how Penny or Sean did it!  Penny's story almost caused me not to get the procedure done, I even reached out to her on twitter in order to find out what makes her tick and I came to the conclusion that she's BSC.  

I would argue that this show has tried to portray that these 600 pounders as having an extremely low tolerance for pain, which is why they "self sooth".  Sean is the poster boy for this as he twisted his ankle in high school and never got out of bed again and although we don't know exactly what caused Penny to go bed bound, she can't take the pain of standing for two seconds.   So I just can't wrap my head around how people who had the bariatric surgery can even get those purported "sliders" down their gullet, because the pain of eating these types of food is unbelievable.  Still, to this day, if I tried to eat something with a lot of sugar or fat in it, I have immediate stomach pain.  How the hell Penny was  physically able to eat enough crap and push through the ensuing pain to make her GAIN 4 freaking pounds BUT not be able to push through the pain of standing up is absolutely mind boggling.  I seriously cannot stress to you how much eating something high fat/high sugar after surgery hurts, which is why the procedure works for like 99% of people who have it done.  These people who are still able to eat like this have severe addiction issues and, (IMHO), are much more like the IV drug user, tearing up his or her veins, than you would think.

[LuciaMia]

They had Seans episode on again.  Just curious, in the beginning, he seemed almost bald. By the latter part, he was sporting a full head of hair. Was he shaving it then?

[auntjess]

I watched this again too.
 

Quote

And when Sean said he'd like to get married, down the road, I just shuddered. Sean never saw a functional husband/ wife relationship, so I imagine he wants someone to replace his mom.

Whitney Thore!  Please TLC, make it happen.

Some of you spoke of RIckey the 900-Pound Man.  That was on recently, and I made a topic for it under one-offs. http://forums.previously.tv/topic/47779-900-pound-man-the-race-against-time/?do=getLastComment
There's a link to the show on youtube here.

I really want to see a follow-up on Sean.  Does anyone know if one is planned?
 

Edited September 18, 2016 by auntjess

[phantom]

I saw Sean's episode for the first time as a rerun recently.

I've heard it said about substance abusers that they get emotionally stuck at the age they started using drugs/alcohol. I feel like that is what happened to Sean. He's not delayed if you look at him as a 16-year-old in an adult body. 16-year-olds can be manipulative and whiny and hate being taken out of their comfort zones. Some just want to eat junk and watch TV all day rather than deal with a world they have decided is unfair. Add into that an (allegedly) abusive father and you have a kid who wants to crawl in a hole and stay there. And Sean accomplished that. Add in his enabling mom, who was probably abused herself, a history of eating to soothe and the toxic stew becomes Sean's life at 900+ pounds. The injured ankle was just an excuse to do what he wanted all along - stop having to participate in everyday life. That said, his ability to normalize his current condition was appalling.

What's his motivation? He doesn't have friends, never dated, never lived alone and has never worked. He gets his needs met by mom and spends all day in bed. What exactly does he have to strive for when his life is so narrow? Frankly I was impressed that he was able to lose any weight at all.

I was dying to hear his mom snap at him just ONCE. When he was complaining about being hungry coming back with "You eat what I give you unless you can go get it yourself!"

[bubbly]

Back on page three some of yall were talking about Half Ton Teen Billy Robbins and wondering how he was doing.   Looks like not much has changed and the poor guy is still *"Mummy's Boy."

https://m.facebook.com/Billy-Robbins-200064823479838/?rc=p

*title of a video on his sad, sad page

[Purple]

On 3/16/2016 at 9:19 PM, Pepperminty said:

I saw that book, apparently a kid's book, and was like, I hope that's in another language. Otherwise I couldn't make sense of it.

How much food is 30K calories? I'm guessing a lot and it would get expensive really quickly.

30k calories is about 15x the amount an adult male should eat in one day. 

[forensicfiles]

On 3/16/2016 at 10:10 PM, greekmom said:

This has to be the saddest episode to date. Holy crap. 919 pounds!  I agree with Dr Now this is very unhealthy dynamics.   After Dr. Now sent him home the first time and I saw him eating the burger and fries I seriously face palmed. No Sean with cutting back you are not showing the doctor you can do this. You really are not fooling anyone. And mom is still being an enabler. Not just an enabler but I think deep down she encourages it as compensation for the crappy life Sean has had. Which was due to his parent’s divorce and him being a latch key kid? Please you want some low fat cheese with that whine Sean? How many kids are home alone? How many parents split?  Mom just felt guilty about it and let Sean do whatever Sean wanted. What kills me is the fact they all think that the surgery is the “magic cure” and that there is no hard work or change in their lifestyle.  Too bad Sean is so whiny. Up there with Pauline whiny. And mom is such a liar liar pants on fire when she was discussing how the diet was going when Sean went back to Dr. Now.  She needs the surgery as much as he does.  This one is one of the episodes I wish that it was more than 1 hour.  I would have loved to see if the kid actually was able to accomplish the weight loss.

Just rewatching and at the beginning Sean mentioned being angry all the time and biting people. It seems like he has some other issues and mom excuses his behavior. She uses food as a substitute for good parenting.

[CoachWristletJen]

On 1/14/2018 at 12:11 PM, forensicfiles said:

Just rewatching and at the beginning Sean mentioned being angry all the time and biting people. It seems like he has some other issues and mom excuses his behavior. She uses food as a substitute for good parenting.

That's outrageous! Totally unacceptable. I must have missed that.  Whom did he bite?

His mother is literally allowing Sean to act like an animal, and that's no good for Sean.  In his situation he probably already feels very isolated from the human race.  Then he degenerates to this state where he is acting like a rabid dog? His self-concept must be horrible.  It's sad for him and awful for any poor nurse or other person who tries to help him. 

That's the other thing. Besides his mother, the only other people he seemed to have contact with were health care workers, pizza delivery guys, etc. A very cold, lonely existence. 

I remember that scene where Sean is admitted to the hospital.  Again. He's in pain. (Most likely because of his weight gain.  Eighty pounds or more is enough to put major stress on anyone's joints!) Dr. Now asks him how long he's been in pain, and Sean looks at his mother and asks her. Like he's five. He can't even tell Dr. Now about what's happening in his own body.

What must his mother have done to him to infantilize him to this extent? Makes me shudder.

Edited August 23, 2018 by CoachWristletJen

[CrazyInAlabama]

What made me angriest about Sean is when people like the church people who helped clean up his stuff after the flood, the poor home health care worker who had to empty his bucket, and everyone else wasn't even thanked, or acknowledged.     Finding out that a grown man bites people is horrifying.    A human bite is one of the most dangerous situations to a person's health there is.    

[CoachWristletJen]

On 9/4/2016 at 4:10 PM, LuciaMia said:

They had Seans episode on again.  Just curious, in the beginning, he seemed almost bald. By the latter part, he was sporting a full head of hair. Was he shaving it then?

Steven Assanti had trichotillomania. During phases in his life when he got worked up, he would pull strands of hair out of his head, one by one.

I wonder if Sean had something like that?

Edited August 23, 2018 by CoachWristletJen

[CoachWristletJen]

3 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

What made me angriest about Sean is when people like the church people who helped clean up his stuff after the flood, the poor home health care worker who had to empty his bucket, and everyone else wasn't even thanked, or acknowledged.     Finding out that a grown man bites people is horrifying.    A human bite is one of the most dangerous situations to a person's health there is.    

It was serendipitous for Sean to be in the hospital during hurricane Harvey because I don't think he would have known what to do.  He may well have stayed in his apartment until the water came in. And, what shelter could house him? He can't fit on a cot, and, he's a biter. (I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. Basically, when things don't go his way, he acts like a rabid animal.)

Earlier today, I saw a quote underneath the YouTube video I was watching that summed it up perfectly:

"So he scoots over, craps in that cat box, then wants to boss people around? Oh hell no."

I'm sorry I can't find the name/nickname to credit the author of that quote. 

I get that his mom did a horrible job of raising him.  Basically, she didn't raise him.

That being said, the fact still remains that Sean is a nasty piece of work!

[auntjess]

Watching a rerun of this.  
He'd gotten up to 1003 lbs, put on diet in hospital, and was sent home at 744(?), to lose 100 more pounds.
Guessing he'll be up over 800 at the next weigh-in.
Gonna grab some chips and watch the rest of the train wreck.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Pounders, What do we do? We avoid discussing how money is being snatched from the public's wallet for the participants unless it’s specifically revealed on the show. Anything else is pure speculation not to mention also a slippery slope toward talking politics. 

[CoachWristletJen]

Apparently Sean's dad got him into an assisted care facility so Sean's big plan (meaning getting big) must have worked.

He will be cared for the remainder of his days.

[Cherrio]

3 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Apparently Sean's dad got him into an assisted care facility so Sean's big plan (meaning getting big) must have worked.

He will be cared for the remainder of his days.

Ugh, I feel sorry for anyone who has to "care" for him.     Oh, is there an article about it?

[CrazyInAlabama]

I wonder if Sean will behave well enough to stay there?     Only time will tell, but better realize that no facility has to keep him if he misbehaves.      I wonder if his mother ever realized how badly she ruined his life?    I guess I'll never know. 

I'm hoping they put him on a very restricted diet, and he loses weight again.    

I don't think the production company will work with him again, he's so violent that he's a danger to himself, and others, and I can imagine him getting very angry at any suggestions from the producers.     He certainly doesn't take criticism well, and with Dr. Now telling it like it is, I would worry about Dr. Now becoming a target of Sean.   I know Dr. Now seems tough, but he's over 70, and small, and someone like Sean could seriously hurt him, so I'm hoping we've seen the last of Sean.

Edited November 17, 2018 by CrazyInAlabama

[CoachWristletJen]

59 minutes ago, Cherrio said:

Ugh, I feel sorry for anyone who has to "care" for him.     Oh, is there an article about it?

There was no article about it.  It was mentioned on one of the other groups. I'd be very interested in knowing more! If Sean gets dumped from the program, then we may not see a follow-up, and I think that's a shame. After all, the name of the show is, "My 600-Pound Life" and not "My 600-Pound Weight Loss Success Story." We know that 95% of them are going to wind up failures so if the cameras don't start following around some of the failures they are going to miss what this is really about.

And yes, I agree, I also feel sorry for anyone who has to wipe his asses. One person who won't be feeling sorry for them is Sean. His mama raised him to be entitled A.F.

Also, seeing the failures inspires the others to keep going. Like, "Yes, we know you're hungry, but trust us, it could be worse."

Edited November 17, 2018 by CoachWristletJen

[Cherrio]

1 hour ago, CoachWristletJen said:

One person who won't be feeling sorry for them is Sean. His mama raised him to be entitled A.F.

He won't stay long. He will be shuttled around until there is nowhere left for him to go.  Some workers at these places are pretty bad, so I imagine his stay won't be pleasant.

My mom was at an assisted living which is considered to be one of the best and she was no trouble at all and I still get angry when I think of the shit they pulled. I had to hire private aids to look out for her and be my eyes. Even that didn't help because one of the aides was a liar and a thief.

[CoachWristletJen]

9 minutes ago, Cherrio said:

He won't stay long. He will be shuttled around until there is nowhere left for him to go.  Some workers at these places are pretty bad, so I imagine his stay won't be pleasant.

My mom was at an assisted living which is considered to be one of the best and she was no trouble at all and I still get angry when I think of the shit they pulled. I had to hire private aids to look out for her and be my eyes. Even that didn't help because one of the aides was a liar and a thief.

I think you're right about that.  I'm sorry to hear about your mom!  Those places are not well managed. And, a lot of people working there really shouldn't be working that vulnerable population.

Sean, on the other hand, is far from vulnerable. The show kind of glossed over the fact that he's a biter.  He threw a temper tantrum in the hospital because they made him sit in a wheelchair, and they still had someone pushing him around. In assisted living, he won't be able to take care of even a tiny apartment, and if they find him urinating in a bucket they will move him to a higher level of care which will mean people telling him what to do all the time. Most likely a big part of whatever money he gets each month will go towards to the facility so he won't have a lot of spending money for extra food.  They can come up with whatever rules they like if they think the person is making damaging choices. Sean WILL tantrum, his caregivers will not like him (and I can't blame them), and he will be transferred from facility to facility.

Seriously, how many of those employees are going to have patience with this guy? If he bites someone again, he will wind up in a mental hospital or a jail. I think he might bite again because when he was talking about biting he seemed kind of amused by it. He said he just did it because he had an anger problem and shrugged it off. And seriously, looking at that photo, I think that guy could try to bite someone. He's that regressed.

[WhoaWhoKnew]

2 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

If he bites someone again, he will wind up in a mental hospital

That's where he needs to be, tbh.

Sean is second only to Penny as the most maladjusted person to ever grace a TV show. And I'm including Judge Judy, Cops, Jerry Springer.

[Cherrio]

Most of the time he looks like a mutant Flinstone.  Not nice to say, but I said it.

Imo, he will never be a productive member of society, but at this point I think the only thing that would help is an actual slap in the face. Then someone sternly tells him to grow up and learns basic skills.  He will end up in a locked ward of some kind because no one is going to put up with him.    His mother is 100% to blame, but he really has no choice now.

If he bites somebody I guarantee he won't live long after that.

[auntjess]

20 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Apparently Sean's dad got him into an assisted care facility so Sean's big plan (meaning getting big) must have worked.

He will be cared for the remainder of his days.

What a sad ending, for a young man.  His mother has much to answer for.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I wonder if his father has a back up plan, because I really doubt a spoiled, and aggressive person like Sean will behave well enough to stay in any care home.     I'm guessing the first employee injury he causes deliberately will be his ticket out the door, and I wonder if the father will have the guts to tell him he's not moving in with him?    

[CoachWristletJen]

On 11/18/2018 at 2:34 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

I wonder if his father has a back up plan, because I really doubt a spoiled, and aggressive person like Sean will behave well enough to stay in any care home.     I'm guessing the first employee injury he causes deliberately will be his ticket out the door, and I wonder if the father will have the guts to tell him he's not moving in with him?    

When the dad came to help Sean move, one thing he did do was to establish good boundaries. He basically let Sean know how long he would be there to help, and at the end of the time, he left. He tried to get Sean to throw things away, but Sean refused. Sean could have utilized that time and gotten most of his stuff packed up, but instead, he chose to piddle around.  Instead of getting dragged into the moving drama of Sean having nothing done, Dad left.

My guess is that Sean's mom wouldn't let the dad near "her" son. We didn't see dad's alleged notorious temper, but we sure saw it in Sean's mom, red-faced and sputtering, escalating at a moment's notice, yelling at Dr. Now. I think mom had the anger problem and convinced her baby bird that Sean had it.

I don't think Dad will allow Sean to move in with him -- especially if he has a wife. He doesn't want his wife to get bitten. He knows he cannot possibly care for him.  Sean is just too big, too unwieldly. And, to be blunt, he probably smells bad and urinates on things. He would trash any room that he was given. Not good for dad if he rents. Well, not good for dad, period.  Dad is not going to bring Sean food and wipe his butt the way his mother did. Caring for Sean is a huge job. Dad won't do it. I'm sure Sean's situation breaks his father's heart, but at the end of the day, he won't enable him.

When Sean does get kicked out of assisted living, there will probably be some kind of meeting where his caregivers try to figure out where to put him. I'm not quite sure where you could put him. He's far too big for a homeless shelter. Steven Assanti's dad had him in the back of an SUV for awhile, and Steven filled up the entire SUV. It's just a huge logistical problem as to where you put them. He may need to go to a nursing home. It's a sad thing when you think most 30 year old men are driving sports cars and living with women and reading Men's Health, drinking beer on a Friday night and running around the town or whatever, pursuing their dreams... traveling, making art, etc.

Edited November 20, 2018 by CoachWristletJen

[CrazyInAlabama]

I doubt any nursing home would take Sean.      Because of his size and condition, he's immobile, totally dependent, and would use a tremendous amount of staff time.     With his enormous weight, which I bet is probably either at or beyond 1,000 lbs again, he is a danger to staff trying to move him, or care for him.     Even if he has a restricted diet, and they try to get him to lose weight, I can see him doing anything he can to get more.     

I don't know if the father remarried, but in the wife's place, if he even suggested Sean coming in the door, I would divorce him.   Sean's mother was a monster for what she did to him. 

[auntjess]

11 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

My guess is that Sean's mom wouldn't let the dad near "her" son. We didn't see dad's alleged notorious temper, but we sure saw it in Sean's mom, red-faced and sputtering, escalating at a moment's notice, yelling at Dr. Now.

Absolutely! Dad never had a chance with her baby, I'd guess.

On 11/18/2018 at 2:34 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

I wonder if his father has a back up plan, because I really doubt a spoiled, and aggressive person like Sean will behave well enough to stay in any care home.   

I see him as more docile, spoiled, but not aggressive like Steven Assanti.  

[CrazyInAlabama]

I thought Sean was harmless, until the biting was brought up, and Sean seemed to be proud of it.   I think he's so emotionally, and psychologically stunted that normal behavior isn't anything that registers with him.      

[aliya]

Maybe it's me, but when I heard him talk about biting, I thought he meant when he was a kid. Did he bit people as a teen/adult? And how do we know that?

[CrazyInAlabama]

He brought up biting in the original episode, and it was fairly recent, not as a kid.    He seemed rather matter-of-fact about it too, and his mother kept him such a kid that he never learned how to act as an adult.     

Sean is also the same person that pooped his pants in his initial visit to Dr. Now's office, stuck his hand in his pants, and showed it to his mother who had to clean him up.   

Edited November 21, 2018 by CrazyInAlabama

[Chalby]

On 7/1/2016 at 8:09 AM, LuciaMia said:

Well, Im sure its because the show is paying all of Seans expenses, but I question the wisdom of making this health-fragile obese man travel all the way from California  to Texas for weight loss surgery. Are you gonna tell me there are no weight loss surgeons  in all  of CA? That Dr. No has some special magic touch or technique? Thats just nuts.

 

Thank you for posting this comment. I have often wondered the same thing, but then other stuff happens and I forget to write my question. I, too, wonder if there is not a better way to transport the patients who clearly should not be lying on their backs in a van, etc. for 9 hours (or whatever). Mind you, finding a caregiver who is able to stay with them for months is another hardship - surely there's something available closer to home?

[CatherineM]

I think one of the issues is that Dr. Now is willing to do surgery on much larger people. The tools are different, longer or stronger, and it’s more dangerous. They have to get it done quicker to minimize the time under anesthesia. Most doctors won’t touch someone like Sean. 

As to transport, these guys mostly don’t work, or never have, and that means low income. That makes it hard to pay for proper transport. 

[Chalby]

2 hours ago, CatherineM said:

I think one of the issues is that Dr. Now is willing to do surgery on much larger people. The tools are different, longer or stronger, and it’s more dangerous. They have to get it done quicker to minimize the time under anesthesia. Most doctors won’t touch someone like Sean. 

As to transport, these guys mostly don’t work, or never have, and that means low income. That makes it hard to pay for proper transport. 

I just figured that since TLC (or whichever stn) and Dr Now are in this for the long haul, why not throw in a camper rental to deliver the patient? We are not talking a truckful of $$.

[Chalby]

On 11/20/2018 at 9:50 AM, CoachWristletJen said:

When the dad came to help Sean move, one thing he did do was to establish good boundaries. He basically let Sean know how long he would be there to help, and at the end of the time, he left. He tried to get Sean to throw things away, but Sean refused. Sean could have utilized that time and gotten most of his stuff packed up, but instead, he chose to piddle around.  Instead of getting dragged into the moving drama of Sean having nothing done, Dad left.

 

Good post. I think Dad communicated the expectations/boundaries in good way, also. I have to stop watching this series because for the few shows that make me happy and feeling there is hope for these patients, I've realized the mental health/enabling environment issues are so great, I feel there's no way these people won't be overwhelmed, and subsequently fail. Heck, if I too feel overwhelmed in just an hour, how on earth are these families functioning/ existing? I need to lose 30 lbs but I am so apathetic about finding a diet/shopping/cooking then exercising, just trying to get organized shuts me down. I can't even imagine how these patients find the mental focus to set goals and take those first steps. Kudos to them! (Then again, I have always said if I had someone who'd look after my diet and organize my exercise routine, I'd be all in as I am a great 'follower' of rules.) My heart goes out to all these people, but poor Sean needs SO MUCH help, I simply had to turn off the tv and thank God for my insignificant problems. Wow, I guess the show did light a fire under my butt. A shout out to all the medical aides who are notoriously underpaid, despite having the most difficult, physical health careers ever. And they have to keep that positive exterior, woah! Standing ovation to all involved in Sean's journey.

[Chalby]

Everyone knows that Sean's mom died in May? I just learned of this (Boy, I am out of the loop). Now I really feel overwhelmed for him. My apologies for not reading all the posts, especially if this was previously discussed.

[Caoimhe]

9 hours ago, Chalby said:

Everyone knows that Sean's mom died in May? I just learned of this (Boy, I am out of the loop). Now I really feel overwhelmed for him. My apologies for not reading all the posts, especially if this was previously discussed.

This post was from his original show, he’s had two follow ups so a lot of the later things were discussed on different threads.  No reason you would have known unless you had seen those episodes or searched out those discussions!

[CrazyInAlabama]

My guess is that some of the patients probably have consulted other programs, but either too heavy, or didn't cooperate enough to get surgery, or were kicked out by the program.     Even in a city as big as Houston, not all hospitals are participating, and I think that's because of liability reasons with the patients, refusal to have filming disrupt their hospital, and also the surgical suite has to accommodate larger people, needs a bigger stronger table, beds and other equipment are oversized, and heavy duty to support the patients.   

[AZChristian]

20 hours ago, Chalby said:

I just figured that since TLC (or whichever stn) and Dr Now are in this for the long haul, why not throw in a camper rental to deliver the patient? We are not talking a truckful of $$.

I've never personally seen a camper with a doorway that would accommodate one of the folks on this show . . . Unless it was a "toy hauler" with a big door on the back for things like four-wheelers. Ambulance folks seem to have problems getting these folks through standard house doorways, which are larger than camper doors.