Shella11756

I did forget to mention that gastric bypass surgery ruined my teeth. The acid coming up from reflux is damaging. So as much as losing the weight was a godsend, losing my teeth was not. That sucked.. ! can I add an OT tidbit? That TLC show "My big fat fabulous life" scares me. Why. Because glorifying being fat is a terrible message to send young ladies. Sure I was fat too, I was also young like her and when you are young you can do more... But we all age & she is doing damage to her heart & joints that she has not realized yet. I do not condone shaming anyone for being overweight. But it is her choice to live this unhealthy lifestyle and I don't think she should try to claim it's ok to be that heavy.. It's not! It's unhealthy & damaging. If my post is too OT, I understand if MOD needs to remove it.. Just my extra 2 cents.. Thank you for the warm welcome here.. Very sweet.. - Mich

I agree that is another possibility. I found Mom's passive & lax attitude disturbing. I guess we can imagine any scenario if we think long enough. I also wondered if she was bypassing work too. I heard some states have a caregiver stipend for those taking care of someone on Social Security Disability.

Thank you, that's sweet.

I very rarely comment on boards like this. Quick history. I had gastric bypass 16 years ago. Less than 5% succeed in losing weight long term. I am very fortunate to be a success story. I had open ( not laparoscopy) gastric bypass with a permanent band or sleeve as I have seen it referred to here. I have a scar from my belly button up to my breast bone. It took every day of 6 weeks to recover. My type of surgery is no longer performed, at least here in NY. My weight loss was not easy. It took me quite a while to learn what I could and could NOT physically eat. Anything bigger than a pencil eraser or that is tough will NOT go down. It will either become stuck and nothing can pass by it, not even saliva (It's pretty gross I know. You'd be shocked at how much saliva you produce in a short time) or it will come back up the same way it went down. Sometimes right away, sometimes hours later. I still have trouble once in a while but for the most part I know my limits. My stomach capacity is probably 1/-1 cup. I was 29 & close to 400lbs. Now I fluctuate between 150-180lbs. I need to say a few things that this experience has taught me. #1 - You can SABOTAGE any diet! If you drink milk shakes or consume large amounts of junk food. You will not lose any weight. #2- Diet soda is the enemy! Actually all soda is unhealthy after this surgery because it can stretch out the pouch or sleeve that is left after surgery. Having said this, I do drink soda. I just limit it to small amounts and only at meals. #3- The idea that 800-1500 calories a day is somehow "unfair" or "unreasonable" is incorrect. When any of the show's subjects are told to limit their intake to these amounts, it is because the Dr.'s attempting to gage your dedication to this life change. Surgery is by no means an "easy way out" of Morbid Obesity. I can assure you each one of the subjects can survive quite well on even less than 800-1000 calories. Yes it is uncomfortable & miserable. It is not more miserable than losing your life or needing heart surgery, A bit of suffering now will spare a ton of suffering later. #4- eat to live, do NOT live to eat! With regards to Sean- if you listened closely to him explain when he started using food, he claimed his father was the type to "get in his face" & yell. He also claimed that he was "afraid" of what would happen if his Father ever "lost it". Well by observing the Mother's behavior I can pretty accurately explain what occurred when he was 10. I am willing to say that his Mother was the type that refrained from disciplining Sean as a young child. That was very obvious by her feeding him "on demand" & a few of her statements concerning if you love your child..., I would bring him a treat... Etc. After listening to these stories, it is very clear that not only did she spare Sean discipline but she interfered with his Father disciplining Sean. This probably led to their divorce, as that relationship between a Father and a Son is usually filled with some turmoil, especially in a child whose Mother refused to correct him. If you listened carefully, he NEVER said his Father abused him in any way. This very much explains why Sean seems to be stuck in this child like immaturity. Some people have no idea how important the role a Father plays in child rearing. Of course there are always success stories of strong Mothers who are able to raise great children. It does not mean everyone should try it if you don't need to. There is a good reason it's takes 2 people to conceive a child. In Sean's case Mom was weak and lacked willpower to not only offer discipline but to say NO to Sean's destructive behavior even though she was in complete control of his diet once he became injured & bedridden. It is very obvious that his injury did not receive proper treatment when it happened. He would at least have been mobile even if he had lost all use of that leg. The word NO is very powerful! Of course it's easy when children whine & complain to give in to their demands or tantrums. A REAL parent knows that is not how life works. If you say No, it's NO. There is no discussion explaining exactly why in long detail. Once a child learns that a parent will not be manipulated by tantrums, whining, or disrespectful behavior, the child then discontinues that behavior and accepts the parent's answer. Not 100% of the time of course, but as a general rule and life lesson. This lesson was completely lost on Sean's Mother, it cost her a Husband, Sean a Father and almost cost her Son his life. You can tell by Sean's statements that he was a very angry child ( biting, hitting etc.) and he continues to be that way as an adult. There were times you could tell he was suppressing it with Dr. Nowzardan, the Nutritionist and even the Physical Therapist. BUT... He made ZERO effort to restrain his anger with his Mother. He is trapped in that angry young boy's mindset. It will most likely take years of intensive therapy to break that behavior, if it is even possible. I do not hold out much hope for him to be able to form adult relationships and to conform to expected social behaviors. I saw in earlier threads that a few of you remarked that he did not seem grateful for the help he was receiving from church members. I did not hear him thank anyone who offered him assistance. He has a very long road ahead of him mentally and challenges health-wise. Dr. Nowzarden is a Bariatric Surgeon, not a therapist. He is most certainly not easily fooled by excuses. He sometimes comes across as cold, but I don't think that is intentional at all. He has no time for nonsense. He has many people waiting just to get in his door. He is all about assisting these people to lose weight so they may address their other conditions; both physical & mental. Many physical ailments are eased or eliminated by the weight loss. The mental ones take some more work. You all are correct about the mental treatment being part of the program. There are actually quite a few medical specialties that one must be cleared by before being approved for weight loss surgery. A mental evaluation is included. Almost half of people are declined for surgery based on their mental evaluation. Most because they do not take proper responsibility for their abnormal weight gain. Sure there are ways to get around the Mental evaluation, most often by "Doctor shopping" until you find a Doctor who will approve you, or learning exactly what to say in order to be approved. In either case, most of those patients fail to lose weight and keep it off post surgery. My experiences with the above have come from my former volunteer work with pre & post-op Bariatric surgery patients, until my surgeon retired. Luckily, I am one of his success stories. I am 1 of the 5% and have been happy to share my journey & struggles with anyone who needed it. That was my way to pay it forward. I apologize for the long post.