All Episodes Talk

[anneofcleves]

I agree that it's suspect that Ree has a line of cookware and foodware, but only uses high-end Le Creuset and All-Clad on her show. Merely stamping your name on it should not be considered an endorsement of quality; you have to fully back your product by using it on a regular basis. It's downright dishonest to take advantage of people's trust in somebody with a cooking show by putting your name on shoddy equipment.

 

Exactly.  Even Sandra Lee, the grand dame of cooking ridiculousness, used more affordable non-stick pans on Semi-homemade which I assume fit with her vision of her target audience:  novice cooks who want to "fancy things up" but have a tight budget and not a lot of time.  She never did learn how to not scrape her non-stick pans, but hey, it was Semi-homemade.  

 

What Ree does is give the appearance of "I have these wonderful things that I use in real life and on my show, which I realize most of you cannot afford, so my friends at Walmart have produced this thoroughly different product for my lowly fans to to buy.  And me to profit from."

[Kohola3]

Who knew I was making cinnamon toast "all wrong in too many ways to count" all of my life.

 

She uses TWO sticks of butter and a CUP of sugar for a few pieces of bread.  Thanks but I don't need a one thousand calorie portion of toast for breakfast. Just watching her slather that frosting on the bread caused my arteries to spasm.  Only Ree could take something as innocuous as cinnamon toast and turn it into a calorie laden bomb.

Edited February 28, 2016 by Kohola3

[MrsClaus]

I just want to say in regard to the cinnamon toast, Ladd is right and she is wrong.  That is all.

Edited February 29, 2016 by MrsClaus

[txvoodoo]

Pioneer Woman is really a lost opportunity because homesteading, gardening, canning, and preserving have become more prevalent (and not just from the upper class who want to slum it by doing things the poor and non-white have done for centuries out of necessity). The only thing she does somewhat right is showing make-ahead meals that can be frozen and pulled out to heat up in a pinch.

 

I loathe how she's always sold herself as some down-home-does-it-all-on-her-own homesteader when she's nothing of the sort. Hell, she's got a flippin' garden and how much does she use from it other than herbs? If I had the acreage and free time she has, I would be growing as much produce as I possibly could.

 

 

Yup. Very missed opportunity. I mean, it's ok for Ree, she's reaping her $$$. But for Food Network, they are missing out.

 

Watching the 4 Seasons now. I always grit my teeth when she says at the beginning "welcome to my frontier." You're not Laura Ingalls Wilder, Ree. Oklahoma isn't our frontier and hasn't been for way over  100 years. 

 

Pot roast: 1) it's not THAT big. 2) during searing, she keeps poking at it with her tongs. STOP THAT. Let it sit. Leave the meat alone. Dang, for cattle ranchers, these people sure do mistreat their meat.

 

Girl, don't BS us. Your house has a/c, the oven going in the summer doesn't bother. Also, you have TWO HOUSES, so stfu.

 

*poke poke poke*  MORE POKING.  I seriously don't know what the hell she's poking.

 

"looks like you just threw everything into the pot." Like everything you make, right?

 

Heh. She didn't cover the Swanson on the broth. Nope, it's right there. Unlike every other program? Hey, Ree, are you hoping for a sponsorship?

 

ORANGE MARMALADE WHYYYY?? Ewwww. See, even if her shit looked good, I could never eat it as a diabetic. There's just no reason for marmalade. 

 

"Press & make sure all the veggies get in the liquid" - shot shows they're all sitting on top, not submerged. 

 

Le Creuset, not Ree Brand.

 

Beetroot isn't a spring veg. Roasted veg aren't springy. Why is the goat cheese FRIED? This isn't a salad. It's not springy. Adding a bag of spring mix doesn't make it springy.

 

Oh, it's fried because that makes it dinner. I forgot.

 

"I have a really hard time choosing between fall and spring as my favorite season." You also have a really hard time understanding what's seasonal during those seasons.

 

I'm just getting over norovirus and I'm not sure if I can watch the tacos with strawberry.

 

Yup, that's as gross as I thought it'd be. 

[Qoass]

 

Pioneer Woman is really a lost opportunity because homesteading, gardening, canning, and preserving have become more prevalent (and not just from the upper class who want to slum it by doing things the poor and non-white have done for centuries out of necessity).

 

That's why I miss Marcia Adams' series based on Amish, Mennonite and Midwestern cuisine so much.  Calorie-bombs all but at least they were made from scratch.

[peacheslatour]

I just want to say in regard to the cinnamon toast, Ladd is right and she is wrong.  That is all.

Oh, do tell!  I didn't see that .  I know he's right about chocolate pie.  It doesn't need caramel sauce and chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

 

Pioneer Woman is really a lost opportunity because homesteading, gardening, canning, and preserving have become more prevalent

I thought that was what she did before I actually watched the show.  I wish there was something like that on FN.  Jamie Oliver used to kind of do that and it was very interesting.

[Kohola3]

Oh, do tell!  I didn't see that.

 

She started out by blathering how much she and Ladd the Dog LUVVVVV cinnamon toast, then reviewed how Ladd (and 99% of the rest of the world) make it and declare that it was wrong "in too many ways to count".  Then she proceeded to demonstrate her method which is guaranteed to put most about anyone in a diabetic coma after 5 bites.

 

Beetroot isn't a spring veg.

 

As soon as she started breathlessly describing her "meals for seasons" and mentioned the spring salad I wondered what the hell kind of magical farming methods out there in the wilderness produce full grown beets in the spring.  Root vegetables are late summer and fall harvests. Idiot.

[Lillybee]

If Ladd hates the taste of wine, why did Ree use 2 cups of wine in her pot roast?

[chakajo]

I was thinking the same thing

[Aquarius]

As soon as she started breathlessly describing her "meals for seasons" and mentioned the spring salad I wondered what the hell kind of magical farming methods out there in the wilderness produce full grown beets in the spring.  Root vegetables are late summer and fall harvests. Idiot.

I wouldn't call it early spring, but I start getting beetroot in my local farm box at the end of May. I'm in NJ. I looked it up and in our area, early beets start about June 1.  Not sure how different Oklahoma is, but it's possible she's getting beetroot in mid-May.

 

She's still an idiot, though.

[autumnh]

Yup. Very missed opportunity. I mean, it's ok for Ree, she's reaping her $$$. But for Food Network, they are missing out.

 

Watching the 4 Seasons now. I always grit my teeth when she says at the beginning "welcome to my frontier." You're not Laura Ingalls Wilder, Ree. Oklahoma isn't our frontier and hasn't been for way over  100 years. 

 

Pot roast: 1) it's not THAT big. 2) during searing, she keeps poking at it with her tongs. STOP THAT. Let it sit. Leave the meat alone. Dang, for cattle ranchers, these people sure do mistreat their meat.

 

Girl, don't BS us. Your house has a/c, the oven going in the summer doesn't bother. Also, you have TWO HOUSES, so stfu.

 

*poke poke poke*  MORE POKING.  I seriously don't know what the hell she's poking.

 

"looks like you just threw everything into the pot." Like everything you make, right?

 

Heh. She didn't cover the Swanson on the broth. Nope, it's right there. Unlike every other program? Hey, Ree, are you hoping for a sponsorship?

 

ORANGE MARMALADE WHYYYY?? Ewwww. See, even if her shit looked good, I could never eat it as a diabetic. There's just no reason for marmalade. 

 

"Press & make sure all the veggies get in the liquid" - shot shows they're all sitting on top, not submerged. 

 

Le Creuset, not Ree Brand.

 

Beetroot isn't a spring veg. Roasted veg aren't springy. Why is the goat cheese FRIED? This isn't a salad. It's not springy. Adding a bag of spring mix doesn't make it springy.

 

Oh, it's fried because that makes it dinner. I forgot.

 

"I have a really hard time choosing between fall and spring as my favorite season." You also have a really hard time understanding what's seasonal during those seasons.

 

I'm just getting over norovirus and I'm not sure if I can watch the tacos with strawberry.

 

Yup, that's as gross as I thought it'd be. 

 

 

I said the same thing...Marmalade? yuck.

[anneofcleves]

I was was practically shouting at the tv, too, when she kept poking the pot roast with her tongs.  Stop it already.

 

 

She's still an idiot, though.

 

And doesn't this just sum it up, perfectly.  Thanks for playing,folks.  You have now reached the end of the Internet.  Hope you enjoyed the ride.

 

How lucky some people like Ree are, with no significant cooking skills beyond the ordinary and no real personality or instructional skills, to have happened onto Food Network during the decade it decided to stop cooking.  

Edited March 2, 2016 by anneofcleves

[tenativelyyours]

She is so hopelessly inept in figuring out the whys of a recipe and seems to see something added one place and then figures it is ubiquitous.  I would not be surprised if she was looking up pot roast recipes and saw one of the tons of variations people like for such a versatile (and forgiving) cut of meat.  I have played with themes with pot roast because I love that cut of meat.  And among them I have done a variation of a take on orange beef using a pot roast and adding orange zest and fresh orange juice to the dish.  It is not a traditional pot roast though.  It is meant to be slightly tangy and sweet and pack a little heat.  Usually serve it with rice and some stir fried veggies like beans asparagus squash etc.  Plus it makes for great left overs, shredded over an Asian cabbage slaw or in lettuce wraps and my favorite but time consuming, wrapped up in dumplings.

 

But she seems to lack any culinary sense.  So she dumps in orange marmalade because that is the "frontier" touch.   It never occurs to her that the orange is used for a particular reason in a particular dish.  She does this again and again and again.  Throwing together combinations that contradict each other and are hugely redundant.   I have seen her use a couple types of pretty good cheese and then mix it into a dish that also has heavy cream, sour cream, cream cheese and butter.  Just because they are all dairy does not mean that the combination with such a heavy and broad hand doesn't muddle the individual flavors.   She makes desserts that can't evoke a single grace note of chocolate that she doesn't have to over do with more types of chocolate which means nothing comes through but some over rich cloying palate deadening tripe.

 

I know she can't cook.  Not really.  She can prepare food for the table, but it is not cooking in terms of an instructional show since what she makes often seems inedible or so unhealthy that it would kill you if you had a steady diet of it (I secretly think Ladd and the boys are going down on all kinds of fruits and vegetables behind one of the barns -- I actually think the whole veggie thing on the show is just that , the show -- it lets her be lazy when doing the full family meal themes and it gives her these special side "niche" episodes about being for the girls and usually that means some easy but overly done salad).  Just the salt content of her dump processed canned food into a pot (not to mention then throwing in more salt) makes my head hurt when she never realizes one serving from one of those cans often has almost an entire daily allowance of sodium .  Or cares.  Or that she is using the recommended allowance as an ingredient in and of itself, not an actual serving.  And then throws in more cans that have the same levels most likely. 

 

No my real issue watching her every now and again is not can she cook.  But can she taste?  Does she have the ability to savor any nuance or flavor component that is not just the true foundation of cooking but also the true foundation of enjoyable eating.   Because I think she simply needs something that triggers what have to be some incredibly weak taste buds and fills her rumbling gut when it is empty.   When I went away to college, missing the food I was lucky to have at home was the biggest hurdle.  So I think the opposite might be true for the daughter as she finds that even bland college food suddenly is alive with flavor that you can differentiate and savor and enjoy. 

 

For me, if her show indicates anything like what the family really eats like, it would be like getting stuck at one of those huge traveler's rest places that have dozens and dozens of vending machines and that is it in the way of any type of food.  You might walk in, be starving and see soup, and sandwiches and all kinds of sweets and processed salty snacks.  And it might look good.  It sounds good.  But you know it is crap in wrap when all is said and done. 

 

I'd love to sit her down and do one of those blindfolded taste tests of simple ingredients and see how she fares.  I wonder if she could even recognize simple white granulated sugar if it wasn't drenched in syrups, honey and more sugar? 

 

Bet she would know pure Monosodium glutamate in an instant though. 

[grisgris]

Excellent post, tentativelyyours!

 

I particularly find fault with her use of dairy products. As you said, it's like Ree doesn't understand that different cheeses, butter, sour cream, etc., have stand-alone flavors and don't necessarily have to be used concurrently. It's like a painter who can't stop adding color to the canvas and ends up with brown or black. The sames goes for anything sweet.

 

And she does it with a smirk, "just because I can," without realizing that instead of coming across as daring and decadent, it's just ignorant and arrogant (not to mention unhealthy and counter-intuitive.)

[txvoodoo]

But she seems to lack any culinary sense.  So she dumps in orange marmalade because that is the "frontier" touch.   It never occurs to her that the orange is used for a particular reason in a particular dish.  She does this again and again and again.  Throwing together combinations that contradict each other and are hugely redundant.   I have seen her use a couple types of pretty good cheese and then mix it into a dish that also has heavy cream, sour cream, cream cheese and butter.  Just because they are all dairy does not mean that the combination with such a heavy and broad hand doesn't muddle the individual flavors.   She makes desserts that can't evoke a single grace note of chocolate that she doesn't have to over do with more types of chocolate which means nothing comes through but some over rich cloying palate deadening tripe.

 

You really sum it up. As a cook, she has no instincts at all. It's like a kid making mud pies and throwing in melted crayons just for color's sake.

 

She also has no palate. Not everything should be combined. Some things don't belong together. And, as you said, she uses flavors which mask one another so often that it's basically a waste of time, effort, and money to add them at all!

 

I have a feeling that she'd take shaved truffles and layer them with hot sauce, cheddar jack cheese and sriracha. 

[anneofcleves]

Over-embellishment of recipes is the hallmark of the novice and unskilled cook.  I remember when I first started cooking and recall times when I just couldn't stop messing with it and adding stuff.  Most of us eventually learn that, usually, less is more.  Ree didn't get that memo.

 

You contrast Ree (or Guy Fieddi) to someone like a Jacques Pepin, or Lidia Bastianich, or even Martha Stewart, and the differences are startling.  What I love about the best of these cooking shows, is how they celebrate the ingredient.  Jacques Pepin will braise leeks in a manner that demonstrates not only a wonderful and affordable method of preparation but also celebrates the ingredient and the memories it evokes in him.  You walk away learning something, inspired to cook, and thoroughly entertained by his thoughtful dialog about something as basic as a leek.

 

Ree smirks, throws more cheese, M&Ms, or jalapenos on her dish while gleefully proclaiming decadence, and then wraps the narrative up with some disconnected but convenient story about feeding cows.  She's Walmart.  Jacques and Lidia are your local farmer's market.

[peacheslatour]

 

You contrast Ree (or Guy Fieddi) to someone like a Jacques Pepin, or Lidia Bastianich, or even Martha Stewart,

You hit the nail on the head.  In my market Pioneer Woman and Martha Bakes are on at the same time.  I love flipping back and forth between the shows, especially when they are making something similar.  The differences are astonishing.  Ree is terrible at cooking.  She has no concept of flavor profiles and how complementary ingredients work to enhance the dish.  She just keeps throwing more and more crap into food until it's all the same.  I would bet all her desserts taste like all her other desserts and all of her savory dishes taste like all her other savory dishes.  Her poor family is numbed to subtlety and nuance to the point where they can only discern "sweet', "salty" and "hot".  The end.

[WhitneyWhit]

So I finally saw her make cinnamon toast and I don't think I have ever wanted to punch someone in the face more than I did her at that very moment. I love having someone tell me not to "waste my time" making something as simple as cinnamon toast as she's taking 15 minutes to make it. Do you know what I could do in that amount of time for breakfast? I could make an omelet, I could fry a couple eggs and some bacon. And is she using some magic/Jedi butter that hot bread straight out of a toaster won't melt? Because my butter always melts and soaks into my toast.

[SanLynn]

I caught the cinnamon toast episode too and, yeah, Ladd's way is right so shut up Ree. Goodness.

 

But before the toast I laughed myself silly when she made such a point to say she used Low Sodium Chicken Broth in her Chicken and Dumplings recipe after that 7 can crime she perpetrated a few episodes ago.

[Kohola3]

And is she using some magic/Jedi butter that hot bread straight out of a toaster won't melt?

 

Of course, if she were using something other than a crappy $5 toaster from Walmart, the bread might be hot and toasted.   No, wait, Ree just sells crappy Walmart stuff. She uses high end that her down home viewers can't afford.

[peacheslatour]

Two sticks of butter for four pieces of toast.  TWO. STICKS.

[Kohola3]

Two sticks of butter for four pieces of toast.  TWO. STICKS.

 

 

PLUS a full cup of sugar.  That's insane.  That's at least 600 calories per slice!

[Automne]

Not understanding flavor profiles and throwing way too much together is what bugged me about the former pastry chef I worked with. If it wasn't throwing orange zest into everything, it was ridiculous combinations like a chocolate peppermint cake with a citrus coconut sauce and lime chip. Chocolate + peppermint = delicious. Citrus + coconut = delicious. But chocolate + peppermint + citrus + coconut = nasty crap. The citrus and coconut will clash with the peppermint (remember how gross orange juice tastes after brushing your teeth) and those three flavors will completely overpower the chocolate.

 

I always recommend the book The Flavor Bible because it helps to understand flavor profiles and is essentially a dictionary on what spices, herbs, liqueurs, and foods go with a particular ingredient, but she did not know how to use that book at all. She sees that citrus, coconut, and peppermint on their own go with chocolate, but doesn't get that you can't shove all four together into a cohesive dessert. 

 

I'm all about uncommon ingredient combinations, but it has to make sense. Like basil and tarragon in a peach cobbler. It adds floral/herbaceous undertones to the peach and highlights the citrus notes in the lemon juice I add for a little acidity to cut through the sweetness of the peaches and sugar. Be different, but don't be needlessly complicated. Keep it simple and stop looking at Pinterest.

[grisgris]

Thanks, Automne, for the recommendation of that book. I'm definitely going to look for it on Amazon.

 

I loved your post. I think that Ree somehow manages to produce (purloin and embellish) recipes that are both complicated and simple. She defies all logic anyway.

[txvoodoo]

If you buy cinnamon sugar in the store, the ratio is about 1 to 1. Hers is disgusting. REALLY disgusting, and more than a little irresponsible.

 

Edited to add: wtf, BAKE it? She's nuts. Ladd's right.

Edited March 5, 2016 by txvoodoo

[grisgris]

I always thought that cinnamon toast was a quick breakfast, the point being to doll up a slice of plain buttered toast with stuff you probably already kept out on the kitchen counter or breakfast table. No need to make a major production out of it. If I was going to go to the trouble to soften butter, turn on the broiler, etc., for breakfast, you better believe I'd make something more than embellished bread. Sheesh...

[Kohola3]

It's $5 worth of electricity for a 5 cent piece of high calorie bread.

[SanLynn]

One of the repeats this weekend was the one where her sister and baby nephew come over for dinner. While Ree's doctoring up her egg mixture she adds .... wait for it... hot sauce because she and her sister "can definitely handle the heat" and it got me thinking....

 

What's the over/under on episodes where she hasn't used that phrase. In all the seasons I'm thinking it's under 10.

 

That is probably the phrase that makes me want to throw things at the TV the most. .... aside from her mispronouncing Balsamic Vinegar every chance she gets.

[grisgris]

I can't stand when she says "buncha*." "I just added a whole buncha (ingredient) to ..." or "I just chopped up a whole buncha..." She even does that when she's baking, which drives me extra crazy, because it's so vague.

 

*I honestly don't think that Ree needs to not quantify her recipes in fear that somebody will "steal" them. For starters, the majority of them have already been lifted. /droll deadpan eyeroll ...

Edited March 6, 2016 by grisgris

[txvoodoo]

"A good amount." WTF is a good amount? 

 

And I've said it before but "a fourth cup." No one says that but her. 

[Diane]

I always thought that cinnamon toast was a quick breakfast, the point being to doll up a slice of plain buttered toast with stuff you probably already kept out on the kitchen counter or breakfast table. No need to make a major production out of it. If I was going to go to the trouble to soften butter, turn on the broiler, etc., for breakfast, you better believe I'd make something more than embellished bread. Sheesh...

We always made ours under the broiler. That is how my daddy did it.  But, we also just buttered the bread and sprinkled some sugar and cinnamon on the bread and stuck it under the broiler, takes about 5 minutes.

[Automne]

Thanks, Automne, for the recommendation of that book. I'm definitely going to look for it on Amazon.

 

I loved your post. I think that Ree somehow manages to produce (purloin and embellish) recipes that are both complicated and simple. She defies all logic anyway.

 

Check out What To Drink With What You Eat by the same authors as well. It goes into drink pairings (even soda!) and it's helpful if you like using alcohol in your cooking.

 

A lot of food bloggers seems to have that issue, making things simultaneously simple and complicated. They can take a pizza, simple enough, and then complicate it with expensive and esoteric toppings like fennel pollen. Or they mash together five different things together into one dessert, like Nutella caramel popcorn pumpkin mascarpone brownie ice cream (God help me if that actually exists somewhere).

[peacheslatour]

Yesterday I watched an episode where she was having some mothers from her home school group over (stretch limo RME) and she made this salad with corn, blueberries, red onion and some other shit and she made this "dressing" that consisted of mayonnaise, sour cream, half and half and lemon juice.  It was the most unappetizing gloppy mess I've ever seen.  Bleh.

[Qoass]

I like that episode because they planned an outdoor meal but it's wicked windy.  As they show Ree walking out with a platter of flatbread topped with arugula you can see the greens begin to take flight.

[HyeChaps]

She didn't want them in her main house.  She didn't want them in her spare house.  They had to be outside.

[CMH1981]

That chicken cordon bleu casserole actually looked good, and it made me think about making it sometime soon.  I was afraid though that it was just going to consist of chicken, ham, swiss cheese and crunchy panko topping.  I really thought she wasn't going to make a sauce for it, but luckily she did.

 

When she put that casserole in the the oven, I wondered if it was going to shatter like my sister's did over Christmas.  She bought that same looking dish and when she put it in the oven it shattered...mind you this was at 350 degrees and wasn't going straight from the fridge/freezer to the oven or anything like that...oh Ree Drummond and your cheap products.

 

That bean and bacon soup looked good, but I hate beans, other than green, so eh...  I would at least try it w/ the broth and all.  

 

When she served it to Ladd he did not look impressed or that he was in the mood to eat soup.

 

Her comment on Ladd "looking hot" was awkward, and I love that he laughed it off.  One could read something into their stilted interactions, but eh...not today.

 

Tamale pie looked gross, and that masa mixture looked off and really undercooked.  It needed to be more golden in my opinion.

 

When Ree went out to start his truck, first thing was I was shocked she wasn't in some fancy negligee under that robe so we could see how sexy she was.  Second I was hoping that she didn't lock the keys in the truck after starting it for Ladd to get warm.  Third, I thought how funny would it be if some prowler was on the ranch and ended up stealing the truck.

 

Once again, Ladd and his tips/techniques are the most informative thing on this show.

[grisgris]

My thoughts after today's show were that it was a big PR spin so we'd understand how labor extensive and expensive it is to operate  that enormous cattle ranch, as well as "set us straight" about why and how they get paid by the government to take care of the mustangs. Thus, justifying why Ree needs to peddle cheap tacky cookware at Walmart, yet at the same time, demonstrating how they are also able to splurge on outfitting not one, but two high-end kitchens on the ranch.

 

Ladd's Powerpoint presentation, delivered in his twangy monotone was boring and to guarantee that we were reeled in, they threw in the little drama of rescuing the calf from the frozen pond. Love how Ladd helped Cowboy Josh hoist the helpless animal into Josh's pickup and gave Josh a hearty wave and "See ya later, pal. I'm gonna go in where it's warm and eat ham & beans. You just make sure that damned calf pulls through."

 

Moral of the story: "Do as I say, don't do what I do and most importantly, don't EVER complain about the price of beef again!"

 

The food looked meh. I have the ingredients for chicken cordon bleu on hand and actually thought about making a casserole. I was planning to add rice or noodles and maybe some asparagus, as it's now in season in the supermarket. I didn't like the idea of ham and chicken chunks submerged in melted cheese and white sauce --- even with the salad on the side.

 

I've seen beans and ham in its many forms dozens of times, as well as Tex-Mex, from Ree. I swear that when she was making the tamale pie, she said that she was going to at "matzo meal." I pictured some type of Passover-Cinco de Mayo mash-up.

 

I gratefully noted from the DVR schedule that today was the "season finale."

[tenativelyyours]

We make a chicken cordon bleu casserole that is actual layers of mash potatoes, chicken, cheese, ham , chicken cheese and crumb topping.  None of that chunked glop she had.  A nice bechamel to form the glue in the layers.   My sister breads each layer of pounded think chicken breast when she does hers and has some secret (I suspect it is lots of butter) and somehow keeps the bottom layer of chicken from getting soggy.   I love hers but like mine pretty well too (I just make an crust of breadcrumbs on the top but over indulge by putting a heavy layer of freshly finely-grated gruyere, then bechamel, then regularly grated gruyere then the breadcrumbs to form this burn the roof off the top of your mouth delicious crust that I could make my dinner if big enough.  But don't.  Swear.

 

There was something almost like one of those bland overly fake political ads you see these days that simply tout how wonderful and down to earth and folksy a candidate is without any real policy discussed about the whole Drummond ranch cause d'etre approach.

[anneofcleves]

My husband said the cow-feeding segment was like an extended Ford commercial.  But as usual, it was the most interesting part. 

 

Because topping your skillet chili casserole with cornbread isn't enough, let's do it with a tamale-like topping.  More fat, calories, and carbs for everybody!  Per serving:  Calories 871, Calories from Fat 352, Total Fat 39.1g, Total Carbohydrates 77.8g, Protein 54.1g.  You might advise your guests, especially those who eat more than one serving or eat this often, to go wander off on the ranch, sit down, and wait for death to come.

 

I thought her version of the chicken "Cordon Bleu" casserole looked kind of icky with way too much ham and way too much cheese.  It was more of a meat sauce than a casserole, to me.  I think in order to salvage that thing I'd want to cut way down on the ham, pick just one cheese (for the love of God), add a ton of fresh broccoli florets, and add some rice.  But then it would become broccoli rice casserole.  And with the broccoli added it would be something only womenfolk eat.  

 

Oh, and the reason Ree's original version of chicken Cordon Bleu casserole makes you thirsty just watching her make it is probably because it has over 1,200 mg of sodium in a serving.  More than half of what most people need in a day.  At least she served the mess with a simple green salad and didn't suggest a bacon and cheese sauce-topped twice-baked potato.  You know that's what Ladd wants.

 

She seemed like she was doing fine with the bean soup, but then she added fresh, chopped tomatoes to the soup just before serving.  Why in the dead of winter would you add a bunch of what is most likely flavorless hothouse tomatoes and not bother to cook them down even a little?  Especially Ree, who goes on endlessly during her summer shows about the glory of seasonal tomatoes.  Is it because she tried to kill us with the other two recipes, and she feels the need to throw in a vegetable?  

 

She's bonkers.  And nutritionally reckless.

Edited March 13, 2016 by anneofcleves

[tenativelyyours]

Didn't we see her vacuum pack stuff for the freezer before?  There is no way I would not roast tomatoes and then pack them for the freezer.  Even without a vacuum packer, a good ziploc bag filled properly will last a couple of months.  I never see the back of harvest time without a heaping supply from both whatever garden I eke out combined with huge every weekend I can trips to the farmer's market tucked away in the freezer since I do not can and prefer the just blanched or even frozen raw produce anyway.  I've done every step for sauce or salsa except the cooking down and freeze it.  It takes a little longer to cook, but the right quality of produce beats even high quality canned tomatoes. 

 

And I don't think it just comes from wanting to highlight some company's goods in hopes for sponsorship.  I think she is lazy and lacks even an ounce of common sense let alone imagination. 

 

Actually if you are going to make the dish the way she did, I'd almost be tempted to chop the meats even finer with spinach and bake it in a shallower pan  with more cheese than bread crumbs in the topping and serve it with crusty bread rounds or toasted flat bread as a hearty dip for a meal.  With a good salad and a side vegetable (cue Ladd screeching in horror as he flees the room) or even two and it would be perfect.  Which means it would be something she would never do. 

[txvoodoo]

I didn't see this episode yet, but the picture on the foodnetwork recipe page for the chicken cordon bleu looks like catfood. Panko is wrong for it. A lot of the pleasure of a good CCB is the roulade form - it helps how you get the flavors distributed. There's no reason for Monterrey Jack. Why does she have to keep adding things? She should just call this "Jacked Up Chicken & Cheese."

[anneofcleves]

I didn't see this episode yet, but the picture on the foodnetwork recipe page for the chicken cordon bleu looks like catfood. Panko is wrong for it. A lot of the pleasure of a good CCB is the roulade form - it helps how you get the flavors distributed. There's no reason for Monterrey Jack. Why does she have to keep adding things? She should just call this "Jacked Up Chicken & Cheese."

Exactly.  She's got like 30 times the ham and 20 times the cheese as the original.  She should serve it with Tostitos scoops.

 

Kind of makes you wonder what else she has up her sleeve?  And because I can't quit her, I submit this recipe to her for consideration...

 

Ree's Trough 'o Pizza (serves 6):

 

• To a buttered turkey roasting pan, layer 1 pound of cooked Italian sausage, 1 pound of sliced pepperoni, 1 pound of browned ground beef, and a 12-pack of sliced hot dogs with 4 cans of pizza sauce and 3 cups of Ree's special cheese blend #1 (blue, fontina, cheddar, jack, brie, goat, and kraft slices).  

 

• If there is any room left, throw in a token vegetable (thankfully for your husband there won't be, but you can tell your girlfriends you tried).  

 

• Make up four cups of cheese sauce with a fancy roux and whole milk, using 3 cups of Ree's special cheese blend #2 (roquefort, feta, smoked gouda, chevre*, romano, and velveeta) and pour the entire luscious mixture over the pan of glorious meat <cowgirl giggle>. 

 

• In your $500 Vitamix or equally expensive food processor, process 12 falafel (the food of New Yorkers) with 2 sticks of melted butter and 1 warehouse-sized green can full of parmesan cheese.  Slather the decadent mixture over the glorious meats <cowgirl giggle> and cheese sauce.

 

• Cover the entire heavenly pan of goodness with 3 logs of sliced, fresh mozzarella, and sprinkle with garlic salt, oregano, and chopped cilantro.

 

• Bake at 350 degrees for 60 minutes, or until your surly cowboy husband comes in demanding his dinner!  Serve with Ree's special buttered and baked bread and chocolate martinis!  Ole'!

 

*  Ree doesn't know that she already has it in her special cheese blend #1, but she had chevre at a fancy hotel in Boulder and had to find a way to work it in.

Edited March 13, 2016 by anneofcleves

[Kohola3]

You forgot the chipotle sauce.  Otherwise I'm sure she's going to steal this glorious mess and call it her own.

[sabretooth]

I thought her version of the chicken "Cordon Bleu" casserole looked kind of icky with way too much ham and way too much cheese.  It was more of a meat sauce than a casserole, to me.  I think in order to salvage that thing I'd want to cut way down on the ham, pick just one cheese (for the love of God), add a ton of fresh broccoli florets, and add some rice.  But then it would become broccoli rice casserole.  And with the broccoli added it would be something only womenfolk eat.

 

I'd swap the rice for egg noodles, but your updates are spot on. I'd also work in some fresh herbs as the only flavorings in the casserole are sodium, cayenne and dijon. I'm also surprised that she used panko for the topping and didn't try to work in Ritz/Club/Saltine crackers. 

 

 

 

[grisgris]

Ha! Ha! You mean from a  room service menu in the fancy hotel in Boulder.

 

 I guess I missed the addition of jack cheese to the CCB. It wasn't pepper jack was it? I heard her mention "adding heat" and thought, "oh, no here comes the Tabasco," but instead it was just cayenne.

 

Now that there's one less mouth to feed, isn't it time to scale back on the recipes yields? That tamale pie looked like it would feed about 24.

[txvoodoo]

anneofcleves - best post so far!!

 

The only thing missing is something hot that doesn't belong: sriracha, wasabi, tabasco, or something. Maybe all 3.

 

 

I'd swap the rice for egg noodles, but your updates are spot on. I'd also work in some fresh herbs as the only flavorings in the casserole are sodium, cayenne and dijon. I'm also surprised that she used panko for the topping and didn't try to work in Ritz/Club/Saltine crackers. 

 

Ree uses panko because she thinks it makes her look urban and classy. I believe that at heart, she really hates that she's "country."  She'd rathe be cooking from some Manhatten apartment.

[maggiemae]

I missed the show - a CCB casserole does seem good - although not her version.

Must admit I prefer panko to crackers as a topping. But I like "crusts" to be crispy. And a real golden brown. Usually her food is pretty much never golden brown (even tho I didn't see this particular recipe).

Edited March 15, 2016 by maggiemae

[VioletNevermind]

I loathe this woman more than is probably healthy for someone I don't know in real life. She is phoniness personified and I can hardly watch her speak without sneering in disgust. Still, there's something so hideously fascinating about her that I cannot look away. Is it her billowy, flower-printed blouses that I hate the most? Her craptastic cookware and tacky-looking stand mixer? Her absolute inability to say anything without sounding uncomfortable? Her complete lack of stage presence? Her constant use of the words 'scrumptious' and 'decadent?' Her vague instructions for humdrum, typical Tuesday night recipes lifted straight from cookbooks of days past? Her unapologetic use of four times more butter than is necessary for virtually any recipe? Her barely concealed flirting with "Cowboy Josh?" The fact that she calls the head ranch hand "Cowboy Josh?" Her "lodge?" The way Lad(d) acts like the kind of guy who beats the shit out of his sons when they disobey him in any way? Ree's condescending attitude toward the grandmother? The way she acts like any flavor additive beyond oregano is some high-class ingredient? The way she pretends to be this busy homeschooling mom when she actually employs a full staff of underlings who do the real heavy lifting both in and out of the kitchen? The disingenuous Botox grimace that she calls a smile? The cutesy, sassy little giggle that punctuates just about everything she says?

*pant* Okay, I need to lie down now.

Edited March 15, 2016 by SuzyLee

[peacheslatour]

I loathe this woman more than is probably healthy for someone I don't know in real life. She is phoniness personified and I can hardly watch her speak without sneering in disgust. Still, there's something so hideously fascinating about her that I cannot look away. Is it her billowy, flower-printed blouses that I hate the most? Her craptastic cookware and tacky-looking stand mixer? Her absolute inability to say anything without sounding uncomfortable? Her complete lack of stage presence? Her constant use of the words 'scrumptious' and 'decadent?' Her vague instructions for humdrum, typical Tuesday night recipes lifted straight from cookbooks of days past? Her unapologetic use of four times more butter than is necessary for virtually any recipe? Her barely concealed flirting with "Cowboy Josh?" The fact that she calls the head ranch hand "Cowboy Josh?" Her "lodge?" The way Lad(d) acts like the kind of guy who beats the shit out of his sons when they disobey him in any way? Ree's condescending attitude toward the grandmother? The way she acts like any flavor additive beyond oregano is some high-class ingredient? The way she pretends to be this busy homeschooling mom when she actually employs a full staff of underlings who do the real heavy lifting both in and out of the kitchen? The disingenuous Botox grimace that she calls a smile? The cutesy, sassy little giggle that punctuates just about everything she says?

*pant* Okay, I need to lie down now.

I agree with everything you said.  And now I need to lie down too.  Is it too early to drink?

[anneofcleves]

I only kind of start to hate her when I realize how little skill it takes to have a cooking show on FN these days.  If I set it aside, there is just too much entertaining snark to be found in her shows, which is why I personally can't quit her.  I find a lot of the crap she makes to be endlessly fascinating for some strange reason. I mean, she published a recipe entitled, The Bread, that is buttered, toasted French bread.  In my most wild delusion of being a celebrity chef, I couldn't muster the courage to publish such a stupid recipe.  I'd be constantly wondering what Martha Stewart or Anthony Bourdain would be saying about me at their next gathering.  Ree is bonkers.

 

On the other hand, Guy Fieri and Anne Burrell completely irritate me to the point that I can't watch them at all for their personalities, even though they're both far better cooks than Ree (with Anne being light years better than Guy).  

Edited March 15, 2016 by anneofcleves