All Episodes Talk: Celebrating Diversity

[Meredith Quill]

A place to discuss particular episodes, arcs and moments from the show's run. Please remember this isn't a complete catch-all topic -- check out the forum for character topics and other places for show-related talk.

 

An intimate docu-series showcases men and women born with Downs Syndrome.

[camom]

As annoying and dramatic as Elena was, I felt sorry for her.  It seems obvious that her hatred of Down syndrome comes from her mom.  I hope she can get past that.

[cooksdelight]

Mine is recording at 2 am, Tuesday nights my DVR is loaded up. I can't wait to see this. I had a good friend in school with Down syndrome, he was in the special ed. class until he got older and they sent him away to a special school. I remember him getting angry. A lot.

[Bastet]

I came in halfway through, and she was driving me nuts with her hypersensitivity, but then I saw the commercial bumper where her mom said it took 20 years to accept her as she is, and I realized she deserved a whole lot of latitude. 

 

I intend to catch the entire episode in the later airing (I also missed some bits from the second half due to channel surfing), as - so far - this seems like a fairly respectful, rather than exploitative, exploration of these people's lives.  I hope that continues, and with a minimum of the contrived situations that send me fleeing from 99% of "reality" television -- I hope this is more like a proper documentary series.

[Chicago85]

I found this show so fascinating! I work in special education and with a number of students with Down syndrome. They are by far my favorite disability to work with but I haven't had the opportunity to work with any as high functioning as these young adults. I have had a range of nonverbal DS to students with DS who are moderately cognitively impaired.

I do hope they touch on what funding is available to programs in CA. Here in IL they remain in high school until they are 22 and then you pray for a day program placement. Funding in IL is a joke and many young adults with special needs are left without a program or support when they leave high school.

Ugh my heart broke for Elena. It became apparent quite quickly that her resistance to hearing "Down syndrome" is due to her mother's own denial. So sad. Elena can be perceived as over dramatic but that and a lower maturity level are common characteristics of the disability so I feel inclined to cut her some slack.

Edited December 9, 2015 by Chicago85

[mccartygirl]

I just happened to stumble upon this show, I love it! I'm only about halfway through it but I do love all of them, except maybe John. Way too opinionated for me. Steven and Shawn were hilarious at the bar. 

 

I cut Elena some slack, her mom just doesn't sound very accepting. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, my OB's nurse accidentally ran a test she wasn't supposed to. My hubby and I knew if we were pregnant with a special child, we would handle it. Of course the test came back with some problems, caused undue stress. But in the end, hubby and I both agreed that it didn't matter, we loved the baby anyways. Just like John's mom. My baby was born healthy, but my point is that I can't imagine any parent crying and crying like her mother said when she was born. That could add to why Elena has such a hard time hearing the words Down Syndrome. 

Edited December 9, 2015 by mccartygirl

[LIGirl]

I am so glad I found this show. I only started seeing commercials for it about a week ago and was intrigued immediately.  So far, the first episode has me hopeful that this will be a true documentary showing the actual lives, struggles, and triumphs of several people with Down Syndrome rather than a fake and exploitative piece of crap most reality shows turn out to be.  (I'm sternly looking at you in particular, "Little Women: LA" and "Little Women: NY.")

 

I will first and most importantly say I cut Elena a lot of slack.  A LOT.  For one thing, she has Down Syndrome for God's sake; she's naturally going to have a harder time than most in processing and controlling her emotions.  And obviously, and most sadly, it seems her struggles with accepting Down Syndrome has a lot to do with how her mother handled it.  Therefore, I cannot blame one bit of how Elena is on herself.  I have to admit that out of everyone featured on the show, so far, she has broken my heart the most.  I am really, really not the type of person who cries at movies or TV shows, but I can already tell she's going to make me tear up the most (she already has).  :(

 

In some ways, I can actually relate to Elena.  I was born with a disability myself (although, it's a form of dwarfism, which, for me, is only a physical disability, not an intellectual one), and while I was incredibly lucky enough to have a great childhood with very little, if any, bullying by other kids, I still naturally struggled in some ways similar to Elena as many kids with a visible disability would.  Additionally, she and I come from a similar background; my mother is also Japanese originally from Japan and my father is Caucasian (but from the US, not European as Elena's father appears to be).  Knowing my personal experience with my mother and Asians in general, I am honestly not that surprised that her mother has handled it the way that she has, sadly.  Although I never explicitly had such a conversation with my mother, I think my mother struggled in accepting me and my disability in a very similar way as Elena's mother.  Maybe that's a huge reason why I didn't and don't have the typical mother/daughter relationship with her, who knows.  But that's a whole other story and topic of discussion not fit for here.  :P  Anyway,  Asians seem to have a harder time accepting such differences and they can be very, very blunt in their criticism and views of someone.  I know that sounds very stereotypical, but again, this is coming from my experience with my Japanese mother and many other Asians in my life.  (Random, but interesting and kinda freaky to me sidenote: Elena's mother and my mother have the same name!)  I wish I had an answer as to how Elena may overcome her difficulties with herself, but I am hopeful that in conjunction with this show and perhaps other loving people who will step in to help her and, as she so heartbreakingly put it, not give up on her, it will help.

 

I like everyone else on the show so far with the minor exception of John, though.  Even though I cut him some slack for obvious reasons, too, he still seems high functioning enough that if people consistently worked with him on boundaries and knowing when and how to use filters, I think he could be more likable overall as well.

 

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know if Megan, the one who moved to LA and wants to be a film producer, is behind this show?  Just wondering given her dream of being a film maker.  Plus, moving out to LA so easily with her mom, even if just for a "test run," seems suspect.

 

Anyway, as I said earlier, I am enjoying this show thus far and remain optimistic that I will continue to do so.  It reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix earlier this year called "Monica & David", which was about an engaged Down Syndrome couple.  If you like this show thus far, I highly recommend watching this movie as I think much of the struggles featured in it will be similar to the ones featured on this show.

[Chicago85]

I wonder if John has some Autism along with DS. That MAY explain some of his social skills- or lack thereof. I have seen that in some students with DS. At the risk of generalizing and stereotyping, I have also found people with DS to be quite blunt even without Autism and yes, that is something we definitely work on in school. Just today I had a student say "Oh will you stop it!" when I was humming a tune. She is never one to hold back haha

LIGirl that documentary sounds interesting. I'll have to check it out.

[LIGirl]

I'm wondering if some of these individuals have mosaic Down syndrome? Was this discussed at all?

Yes, Steven's parents specifically spoke about how he has mosaic Down Syndrome and how it has affected him growing up. That was interesting to me because I had never heard of it (maybe because, as his parents stated, it's so rare), but made perfect sense once I heard it because I found myself thinking at certain points that sometimes Steven didn't even look like he had Down Syndrome (like maybe he had a "mild case" of it, if you will) and that he seemed a bit higher functioning that most with DS.

 

 

I wonder if John has some Autism along with DS. That MAY explain some of his social skills- or lack thereof. I have seen that in some students with DS. At the risk of generalizing and stereotyping, I have also found people with DS to be quite blunt even without Autism and yes, that is something we definitely work on in school. Just today I had a student say "Oh will you stop it!" when I was humming a tune. She is never one to hold back haha

LIGirl that documentary sounds interesting. I'll have to check it out.

Yes, please do check it out if you can! I believe it's still available through the Instant Watch.

 

John could possibly have autism as well.  But as I stated in my previous post, I still cut him some slack for how he interacts with others because of his DS.  However, just as Elena was suggesting phrases he could say to her when he wanted her to "tone it down", I wish Elena would have suggested things she could say to him to knock it off when he was doing or saying things that were on the verge of hurting her feelings.  It works both ways.

Edited December 10, 2015 by LIGirl

[NewWatcher]

Like LIGirl, I was raised in an East Asian/Caucasian American environment (and then some).  Without writing a novel, I would say that my favorite instance from my mother was when she thought breast cancer would cure me of my problem - namely, having a chest.  I almost didn't find Elena overly sensitive.  The one time she got upset, John and another man (couldn't figure out his name) were ganging up on her, and I've seen women at work (and I work in a male-dominated industry) from ages 18-80 walk away crying from something similar.  Also, as others have said, her mother couldn't have been a positive influence.  I am absolutely shocked her mother didn't abort the pregnancy or place the child with an adoptive family.  John, autism, DS, etc. or not - I found him abrasive, and I know plenty of people like him without autism or DS.  I also find that he's mimicing the crude/straight-forwardness of hip-hop culture, and he probably thinks it's "keeping it real."  Again, I know he has DS, so it may not be that he fully realizes it, but I know plenty of non-DS/autistic folks who act like him.  Lastly, on Elena, I can also see how she got upset about the DS thing/label.  There is something not-too-common about me (can't give too many details or else it'd be too revealing), but growing up and even into adulthood, I was constantly referred to as this.  Let's say I was missing a leg.  it always "There's Jane; she's missing a leg."  "Jane, how'd you lose your leg?"  Across a room "Is SHE MISSING A LEG?' and on and on and on.  Being a woman, with hormones, etc. even at 18, 20, etc. it still got to me that the most important thing about me was my missing leg.

 

LIGirl, I, too, saw Monica & David, and loved it.  Cried my eyes out.  I hope this documentary treats its subject like M&D did - not a crass, exploitative show.

[NewWatcher]

I also want to second everything LIGirl said about "This may sound stereotypical."  When all my East Asian/Eurasian girlfriends have had VERY similar upbringings, it's not so much straight-out stereotyping as there is some basis in truth.  I won't re-type LIGirl's entire post, but it gets two thumbs up from me and I nodded my head so hard reading her post that I think I threw my neck out

[camom]

Let me start by saying that I know many of the people on this show (so my remarks may not be totally unbiased).

 

Elena was born in Japan, but spent much of her childhood in Australia, where her father is from.  They moved there because there were no services for her in Japan and having a child with a disability was considered shameful.  So culturally, her mother probably instilled that shame into her.  She does have some problems in social situations and with new people.  

 

John is not on the autism spectrum.  He is into the hip-hop/rap world and tries to imitate those people.  But, as was seen, he can be quite caring and compassionate.

 

What I don't understand is Megan and her mom moving to L.A., even temporarily, so that she can follow her dream to be a producer.  I certainly hope her mom isn't really going to be leaving her there to live on her own while she goes back to Colorado.

[VioletNevermind]

I stumbled upon this show when nothing else was on and was so pleased that I had.  As long as the exploitation is kept to a minimum, I can see myself really enjoying this show.

 

I feel sorry for Elena.  It's more than obvious that she gets her self-loathing from her mother's inability to accept her condition for the first 20 years (!) of her life.  The fact that she can't hear the words "Down Syndrome" without dissolving into tears is both sad and cause for great concern.  I hope she's able to work with the appropriate professionals to get the support she needs to build her confidence.  I think some time away from Mom will do her a world of good. 

 

I was impressed by the compassion of the young lady with the glasses (I'm terrible with names).  She and the girl with the long ponytail clearly see themselves as mothering caretaker figures.  I love their gentle, take-charge attitudes toward stressful situations.  Clearly, they were raised with the same loving care, themselves.

 

The guys haven't made much of an impression on me yet except for John.  As irritating as he is, he seemed to be willing to work with Elena and her issues.

 

Megan's mom reluctance to let her go is both slightly maddening and totally understandable.  I'm raising a 15-year-old daughter as a single mom and while I certainly haven't dealt with the special needs challenges that Megan's mom has, I absolutely get how she's feeling.  It's easy to lose one's identity as a person and woman when you've poured everything you have into a child for 20-odd years.  It's scary to consider the very real possibility (if not probability) that they will spread their wings and want to do their own thing, leaving you to rediscover whomever the hell it is that you are again, without the support and companionship of a spouse.  Whenever I feel annoyed with her clinging to Megan, I'm going to remind myself that I'll be in that boat right beside her in a few short years.  As for Megan, I see nothing wrong with her remaining in CA while her mom returns to CO, as long as she's part of a program that helps to keep her safe and prevent her from being taken advantage of.  I suspect that the "moving to CA to become a producer" is more of a story line than a serious intention.

 

I'm in for the long haul.  It'll be nice to reel in the snark for a change (hi, Sister Wives and Duggars!) and simply learn from and enjoy a TV show.

Edited December 10, 2015 by SuzyLee

[mccartygirl]

Let me start by saying that I know many of the people on this show (so my remarks may not be totally unbiased).

 

Elena was born in Japan, but spent much of her childhood in Australia, where her father is from.  They moved there because there were no services for her in Japan and having a child with a disability was considered shameful.  So culturally, her mother probably instilled that shame into her.  She does have some problems in social situations and with new people.  

 

John is not on the autism spectrum.  He is into the hip-hop/rap world and tries to imitate those people.  But, as was seen, he can be quite caring and compassionate.

 

What I don't understand is Megan and her mom moving to L.A., even temporarily, so that she can follow her dream to be a producer.  I certainly hope her mom isn't really going to be leaving her there to live on her own while she goes back to Colorado.

 

I gotta say I didn't really see John being compassionate, he seemed to snark at Elena even when she told him not to say something. It was always attitude.

 

Any idea what Megan's mom does that she can be a "dream maker"? I can't imagine uprooting for a month or whatever without a good job.

 

I do love the red-headed girl and the Spanish girl (Cristina??). I thought they were so mother like, especially Cristina. I love how they're all boy and girl crazy, just like most people that age. I'm in on this show! Especially since everything is on forever hiatus.

[auntjess]

 

 

 

What I don't understand is Megan and her mom moving to L.A., even temporarily, so that she can follow her dream to be a producer.  I certainly hope her mom isn't really going to be leaving her there to live on her own while she goes back to Colorado.

I wondered at that too. 

Do you think she'd always encouraged her, and told her she could do/be whatever she wanted, as she was growing up, and now realizes she may need to rethink this.

I liked John, and I think poor Elena is just very touchy around him, but I don't think he means any harm.

[sunsheyen]

John definitely annoyed my daughter and me. I wonder if the rest of the family is this extra. He's almost a parody of the most irritating gay black man ever.

Elena bugged until mom was exposed. I think E would benefit from some therapy to examine that self loathing and shame that was instilled.

As noted above, as a single mom to a teen girl, I kind of get Megan's mom's closeness and attachment. I'm already panicking, two years prior to graduation. I do think that their relationship contributes to Megan's functioning and maturity. Seems like their relationship was more peer like and they have very straightforward conversations and communication.

I've been waiting since I saw the first commercial and I'm so glad I watched this. It opened my mind about people with DS, even though I have had limited experience interacting with many folks in real life.

Sean is a horndog, and it looks like he needs to learn some boundaries. I'm ready to meet (will we?) Megan's bf and this other chick who seems to get the proposal. I'm still torn on the idea of consent, sex, and marriage in people with developmental delays.

I like this show so far.

[cooksdelight]

 

As noted above, as a single mom to a teen girl, I kind of get Megan's mom's closeness and attachment. I'm already panicking, two years prior to graduation. I do think that their relationship contributes to Megan's functioning and maturity. Seems like their relationship was more peer like and they have very straightforward conversations and communication.

 

 

I admire her mother for letting go, it would be hard under any circumstances to take your daughter to an unfamiliar city and let her go out on her own. I couldn't help but wonder about Megan's father... what happened to him? 

[kathyk24]

I loved this. It was refreshing to see people with disabilities portrayed as people not as overgrown children. I thought the relationship between Megan and her mother was very sweet. I got the impression that Megan and her mom have been on their own for a long time. I felt sorry for Elena having trouble accepting her disability.

[ClareWalks]

I enjoyed episode 2! Glad that Elena apologized for being rude to Rachel. Elena is definitely what I would call "high maintenance" but she seems sweet and she can't really help it. I like how she has been open to helping people find other phrases (like telling John it was okay to say "take it down a notch" but not to call her "crazy"). Rachel is a real doll. Very open and genuine. And I loved her family, her brother and his fiance was amazing with Elena. I laughed when she asked "who's the wife?" and they were like "there won't be a wife, there'll be two husbands," and she was like "oh, okay!" Because homophobes are always like "how will I explain gay marriage to my kids?!" and I always thought that was stupid because kids get it way easier than adults do sometimes. Someone like Elena who is fairly childlike in certain ways got it immediately.

 

Christina's relationship with Angel is adorable, and her parents are amazing. Super supportive. I thought her brother's response to whether he had a girlfriend or a boyfriend was perfect: "I don't have either of those." Sean went from not wanting to move to being all for it, but I was confused...do his parents want to move because they need to downsize? Or were they actually looking for homes for Sean to live in alone? At first I thought it was the former, but then they started talking about "what we can afford to help you buy this place" or something.

 

I don't know about Megan yet. Something seems a bit unpleasant about her, and I hesitate to say so because I'm sure DS means fewer social skills. Like when Elena wanted a hug and Megan rolled her eyes. 

Edited December 16, 2015 by ClareWalks

[still hoping]

I love this show so far. 
I love that they have a real purpose to be together - the center - I think having the counselors there also can be a help

 

I am so tired of reality shows that put together people so randomly (Little Women LA for instance - one new cast member 20 years younger than others LOL)

 

I like all of the cast. Not politically correct to generalize but it seems many Asian countries do not accept the disabled - they do not want to "lose face".

I think Elana's Mom has had to overcome her upbringing - so hard for poor Elana. I hope she is getting other help or counseling. Her pain is so real.

 

I "like" all of them . 

 

I wish they would have a guest appearance by this young gal in Au who has walked the runways, she has DS, and is doing so many amazing things.

I wish she could talk to Elena

http://www.madelinestuartmodel.com/

 

[Bastet]

Like when Elena wanted a hug and Megan rolled her eyes.

 

That made me laugh, because it didn't seem like Elena could see her roll her eyes (which would have been rude). 

 

I'd have a very hard time being around Elena in real life, but I'm glad she's on this show because I find her struggle for self acceptance quite poignant.

 

I like that all these people are being presented as they are, including their annoying qualities.  Rather than some saintly portrayal because they have a disability.

[camom]

 

I'd have a very hard time being around Elena in real life, but I'm glad she's on this show because I find her struggle for self acceptance quite poignant.

 

I totally agree with this.  Elena would get on my nerves quickly.  I know quite a few people with DS and, frankly, there are some I just don't like.  Usually, though, it's because their parents have used their DS as an excuse all their lives and have never set boundaries or taught them proper behavior.  In Elena's case, she was taught shame by her mom and it shows.  She obviously isn't very fond of her parents, as shown in her remarks about her living situation and her mom's cooking.  On the other hand, I think I could hang out all day with Rachel.  She seems to be accepting and warm, without the hang-ups some of the others have.

[Chicago85]

Loved the second episode as well. Cristina's parents are AMAZING. I do have to say my least favorite character may be Megan. She comes across as stuck-up and spoiled. I could see how being an only child to a single mom may have played a role in that but I will reserve any harsher judgements until I get to know her better.

[kathyk24]

I was annoyed with Sean's parents. Why are you looking at houses with your son when it is unlikely he will be able to manage the upkeep of a home? I wonder if they have applied for Social Security benefits for him? I would not downsize until I knew Sean was settled to make it less difficult for him.

[Bastet]

With the way he went from shutting down the conversation completely to being excited about the very same idea -- moving to a smaller place with them for a bit, and then transitioning to his own place -- after a passage of time (and photos of a House Hunters style kitchen), I'm more sympathetic to Sean's parents.  They seem to be seeking a way he can live semi-independently, knowing it will have to play out in stages, and sort of testing the waters.  I suspect much will hinge on how he does at his job.

 

It was sweet to hear him say he messes up sometimes, and his potential boss just say everyone does. 

 

It was interesting to hear Cristina's dad say her mental age is 6 for X task, 8 for Y, and then 40 for being in a romantic partnership, since it brings up the issue of consent.  They seem like a great family, and the boyfriend an equally good man, so I'm eager to explore that storyline.

[sunsheyen]

When Sean's mom mentioned his atm card, I assumed it was his social security money. Most likely, they'd applied for those benefits in his very early childhood, along with Medicare and other social service programs. I don't see him doing a lot as far as independent living in his own home, though. He seems like group living with some oversight would be a better fit. He seems very impulsive and easily distracted. Just watching him looking at that house with the gas stove made me nervous about open flames and not noticing a leak, etc.

I don't have a problem with Megan's eye rolling. I'm over it just watching Elena's drama in only two episodes. I can't imagine sitting through it in person, on multiple occasions, directed at different people, for God knows how long. We only see tiny clips, but so far it's happened at the bowling alley, the cooking class, hanging at the center...who knows how long these episodes last? So as someone new to the mess, used to a more 'rational' mature life, I'd be exasperated too. Even if she empathizes with Elena's issues, it doesn't mean that one can't get sick of the dramatic cycle of breakdown, yelling, tears, apology.

Cristina is quite the take charge one, huh? Interesting that she wants to be the one to handle the Elena situations, even when the parties involved are able to hash it out on their own. I also found it funny that she wanted to ask her brother about his dating life but everything about hers was 'personal' and I loved her dad teasing her. He seems like a great dad. I want to know more about Angel, where they met, what his situation is. I do love that Cristina was like "you have to have a j-o-b to get with me!" Their relationship makes me think about questions of consent too, Bastet, and what type of sexual education is able to be understood, since her dad addressed factual (time telling, for example) comprehension at a different level as her ability to love/be committed.

John still bugs, albeit less than last week. Rachel seems very open and sweet, I look forward to 'meeting' her parents and their insights more in their confessionals next week.

Edited December 17, 2015 by sunsheyen

[configdotsys]

I was really looking forward to this show and was not disappointed. It's so nice to have something to look forward to watching.

 

I get that Elena's mom is the reason she acts the way she does but she was driving me nuts with her behavior and there's no way I'd be able to handle that. The one that wants to be a producer really gives off a snotty, stuck up vibe. Rachel is a sweetie. 

[camom]

 

When Sean's mom mentioned his atm card, I assumed it was his social security money. Most likely, they'd applied for those benefits in his very early childhood, along with Medicare and other social service programs.

 

Sean probably gets SSI as an adult.  He wouldn't have qualified before age 18 unless his parents were destitute, which they obviously aren't.  I can see Sean having his own place with a non-disabled roommate to help him with money management, cooking, cleaning, etc.  Perhaps they could even rent out space to one of his friends to help with the costs.  It's a wonderful idea that some families can pull off but it is beyond the financial reach of most.  The best they can hope for is a group home.  In California there are Regional Centers that help pay for services for people with developmental disabilities, like therapies, transportation, day programs, etc.  They will help pay for housing, but they won't buy someone a home.  

 

I worry about Elena in the future.  Her social skills are so poor that she is going to have a tough time in the world.  I remember her saying that she lives in a group home, but did we hear what she does during the week.  Does she have a job?  I can't imagine her lasting too long anyplace where she has to deal with people.

[Chicago85]

Elena's dad seemed like he acknowledged that her behavior was problematic but said that it made her happy? Anyone else remember that talking head segment?

Yeah that was a little strange. "We know she has emotional outbursts but that's what makes her happy" AKA "that's how she has always been. Nothing new. Her mood swings are normal". That's how I interpreted it anyway. And no, it isn't normal but I'm happy she has a "sponsor" that is working with her at least

I agree with Sean being better suited in a group home that fosters independence yet has supervision when necessary. It's not a good sign that he was quick to want a credit card without realizing it isn't free money. Hope he never gets any door-to-door salesmen at his house.

[Bastet]

It's not a good sign that he was quick to want a credit card without realizing it isn't free money.

 

True, but any number of young (or not-so-young) adults without disabilities would have to line up beside him and confess to the same lack of logical thinking.

[IvySpice]

 

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know if Megan, the one who moved to LA and wants to be a film producer, is behind this show?  Just wondering given her dream of being a film maker.  Plus, moving out to LA so easily with her mom, even if just for a "test run," seems suspect.

I wondered how much Mom was behind it. She was so perfectly tanned, hair done, etc....she was super camera-ready. Same question how much Mom is responsible for "Megology" and the public speaking career, too. I don't think Megan printed up the scarf labels, booked the farmer's market booth, etc. Moving to LA to become a film producer right out of high school is bananas; if you're making documentaries, there's no reason you need to be in LA.

 

 

being a host and serving your guest an unfamiliar food (that the average American might find unappealing) *and* waiting until after he's eaten it before telling him what it is isn't very nice.

 

Serving calamari to guests isn't nice? I hope Cristina's parents invite me over sometime, because it looked darn nice to me. At any rate, it's a lot nicer than telling someone that food they have served you is "nasty." That's not OK even if you were given a plate of toxic sludge. John's parents let him down if they didn't teach him how to say, "No thank you, I don't care for any more."

Discussing the content of the food after tasting is a standard parental teaching tool -- at least for parents who want their children to eat something besides chicken nuggets. The hosts treated John like a child, which (as John went on to prove) was the right move.

[Bastet]

Yeah, squid is not an exotic ingredient to me although I'm certainly aware it is to many.  These folks live in L.A., though, and more than one of them recognized it from eating calamari.  I didn't much care for John's repeated, "Is this chicken?" but I didn't  care for the, "We'll tell you after you eat it" response, either.  If someone asks you what you're serving, tell them.  I know it runs the risk of someone hearing an unfamiliar ingredient and shutting down without trying it, but that's on them. 

 

So I wasn't annoyed with John, up through when he said he didn't care for it but praised the other part of the dish, basically the epitome of polite under the circumstances.  But then he started going on about being disgusted and losing his appetite, and I changed to "Is this the Down's Syndrome talking or are you just an ass?"

[sunsheyen]

Sean probably gets SSI as an adult.  He wouldn't have qualified before age 18 unless his parents were destitute, which they obviously aren't.

Disabled children get SSI without parents being broke. Also, California has a supplemental program to the federal one which changes income limitations, iirc. Benefits do change, of course, once they are adults/out of school.

[camom]

 

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know if Megan, the one who moved to LA and wants to be a film producer, is behind this show?

 

Megan isn't behind the show; not sure how she became involved since the others are all from L.A.  Her mom said something about it being a good time to go to L.A. since it was summer, so I'm guessing she is a teacher.

 

 

Disabled children get SSI without parents being broke.

 

For disabled minors, the parents' income is taken into consideration.  I was working hard to stretch my dollars when my kids were little, but my disabled daughter still couldn't get SSI because of my income.  There are other benefits, like Medicaid, that might be available.

[sunsheyen]

For disabled minors, the parents' income is taken into consideration.  I was working hard to stretch my dollars when my kids were little, but my disabled daughter still couldn't get SSI because of my income.  There are other benefits, like Medicaid, that might be available.

Right, I just meant that a family doesn't have to be poverty level destitute to apply and fall within the income guidelines and some states have ranges higher than others.

[kathyk24]

True, but any number of young (or not-so-young) adults without disabilities would have to line up beside him and confess to the same lack of logical thinking.

Sean would benefit from a representative payee, Someone to pay his bills and give him a weekly allowance. I don't think having poor money management means you can't be independent.

[Cheetosandchoc]

I really like Elana, and to be honest she is much more like my experience with DS people. My sister has DS and is in the severe and profound range and is non verbal. I also worked in a dayTraining place for years. I loved that job. I think being emotional is more common than not. I never saw Elana as mean, I think she shows remarkable self awareness and is working on her issues. That is very commendable. I really liked how her and Rachel interacted too. Rachel is a sweetheart.

[trimthatfat]

I'm watching a marathon of this now...very interesting series!

I'd have a very hard time being around Elena in real life, but I'm glad she's on this show because I find her struggle for self acceptance quite poignant.

I agree. When she snapped at Rachel for asking her what was wrong, I was hurt on Rachel's behalf. Elena can be very biting in her replies to people which I imagine is difficult to deal with in person. I do think there is more to her than just that and there are times when she comes off very self-aware (like when she walked into the room and knew everyone was talking about her so she immediately went to rectify the situation with Rachel), but I have a feeling most friends do not stick around long enough to find that out. Which also makes me very sad for Elena.

 

Christina and the marriage talk with her boyfriend made me laugh. That girl wants a ring and she's not playing. I do think it's cute Angel got her a promise ring as a nice compromise.

 

It was surprising to me and a little scary that Sean was able to get a CC so easily. He seems to struggle with understanding that money is a real thing that must be earned. I agree with whoever said he would do well in a independent living kind of situation, like group housing. I was surprised his parents were willing to get him his own home. I know they want him to be independent, but that's a huge step.

Edited December 20, 2015 by trimthatfat

[Darling Lily]

This is a thought-provoking show, finally something TLC gets right!  For me it all boils down to showing that even those with disabilities are just the same as everybody else, you have those you would hang with, and those who drive you crazy

 

I love Christina & her parents, and Megan.  Rachel is so sweet!  I love how all of them do try and understand each other's personality quirks, and they do seem to make up and move on quickly.  

 

Re:  Sean's credit card, he didn't get one, he just got one of those bulk mailings the credit companies send out enmass.  That's what his mother was explaining to him about "some mail you get is not important", and trying to show him if he DID have a credit card what that would entail.

[Schmoopy]

OK I am just going to go ahead and get this confession out of the way...I have a huge crush on Mariano, Cristinas father. What an amazing father...he makes me smile :)

 

I also loved the chef that taught the cooking class, the pizzeria owner who interviewed Sean, the job coach who helped prepare for the interview, Sean's parents, Cristina's boyfriend and both Rachel's and Cristina's entire families. (with a special shout-out to Rachel's brothers fiance...he took that Elena hump-hug like a champ!) 

 

With all of the horrible and scary things going on in the news each and every day it is really, really, nice to see authentic people allowing us to see a glimpse into their lives and daily struggles.  They show the good and the bad but the beauty of the human spirit shines through and I have so much that I can learn from many of the participants.

 

Well done show, well done!

 

 

[kathyk24]

I liked this episode especially the scenes with Megan and Rachel. I don't see how John can be a rapper when his speech is hard to understand. I liked the scenes with Rachel and her mom and Megan and Christina's moms. When Megan was talking about having a baby I thought it would be a good isea to use a life sized baby doll to see what caring for an infant entails.

[configdotsys]

I just love Rachel. So. Much.

Not a fan of John at all and his storyline so I fast forwarded through it.

After watching the preview for next week, I wonder if Rachel will be upset at Sean’s pursuit of Megan after he said he wants a girlfriend without DS.

It was kind of nice to be without the Elena drama this week.

[Momof2boyz]

I just want to say that I absolutely love this show.  Came upon it by accident because it is right after Married at First Sight, one of the many trashy reality shows I like to watch.   This is such a refreshing breath of fresh air.  I love the relationships between the parents and children. They obviously love their children so much.  I worked briefly for an agency that serviced DD individuals and one thing that really touched me was how much the parents loved their adult DD children.   I love the girl with the red hair and the glasses.  She is so sweet she brings tears to my eyes.  I also love the Latino family.  The daughter is beautiful.  John I find pretty annoying but I like how supportive his family is.  Regarding the one guy with Mosaic Down Syndrome -I had never heard of this type of DS.  There is a guy that works at my local Best Buy that I suspect has it.  I could never figure him out because he seems totally "normal" but he has somewhat DS features.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Momof2boyz

[camom]

Maybe some of you with better eyesight and larger TV screens can help me out.  I couldn't tell if Megan's boyfriend has Down syndrome.  If so, and if she ends up with him, the baby question is most likely taken care of.  Men with DS are typically sterile.

 

I like getting to know the parents and seeing how they interact with their offspring.  It's tricky, because they are technically adults with adult hopes and dreams, but in many ways they are still child-like.  I also liked seeing Rachel with her brother and his partner.  The families all seem very supportive.  My least favorite is Megan's mom.  If Megan didn't have DS, I have a feeling her mom would want to go clubbing with her and would flirt with her male friends.  I could be completely wrong, but that's the impression I get.

 

Agree with it was nice to get a break from Elena and her drama this week.

[Trampolina]

I was so glad that Rachel's mom talked to her about being so aggressive with prospective boyfriends. I was cringing at her interaction with those two young men. I hope she eases up and also eventually wants more for herself than just a guy that needs a girlfriend. She's so sweet and it's hard to see her get shot down.

[Bastet]

I enjoyed the break from Elena, too.  I’m glad she’s on the show, mind you, but she’s hard to take.

 

I’ve been waiting for this episode since the previews.  I don’t know anyone with Down’s Syndrome, so all my exposure comes from television – and there certainly aren’t a lot of people with DS represented in that medium (and I hated Life Goes On, so rarely watched it), so that exposure is quite limited.  There is an episode of Law & Order: SVU about a young woman, “Katie,” with Down’s Syndrome who is raped (and doesn’t know it, because she doesn’t know what it is).  She gets pregnant, and her mother takes her to have an abortion, but the guy who runs the center that is kind of like the one we see them attending on this show gets an injunction to stop it, and there’s a hearing to see if Katie can decide for herself (she can).  The mother is presented as sympathetic, but out of line, and I’m certainly not into forced abortion (or birth) so I agree with the ruling. 

 

But it’s a really hard episode for me because I feel like everyone is a bit too optimistic about what Katie – and her boyfriend with DS – can do on their own, so that the mother is right when she says this is going to be another child for her to raise, she’s tired, she’s older, and what the hell happens when she’s gone (she’s wrong about the extent to which she’ll need to be involved because she’s sheltered Katie so much she hasn’t let her learn some things she is capable of learning, so that kind of turns into this rose-colored glasses attitude by others like there’s no limit to what Katie can learn to do).

 

So that’s my long-winded introduction to why I was looking forward to seeing how Megan’s mom approached the subject with her, how Megan reacted, and how others responded to her mom’s asking her to give up that dream.  Because, once again, I’m with Mom – she’s done this, and she’s glad, but she doesn’t want to do it again, so while it’s Megan’s right to choose whether or not to have a baby, she has her own rights and she's well within them to ask Megan not to do it.

 

Switching gears, John is annoying – like anyone else living here spouting off about their artistic career when they have zero chance of making it happen.  It’s nice that his family supports his interests, but does everyone around him really need to fuel his delusions this is something more than a hobby?

 

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel – you cannot grab every man with Down's Syndrome in Los Angeles by the shoulder and propose entering into a romantic relationship.  Slow your roll.  She’s a very nice person, and I hope she meets someone who’s a good match for her – and doesn’t scare him off.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Bastet

[camom]

Rachel has learned to be clear in what she wants, which in most instances will serve her well.  Most people who have Down syndrome lack judgement and don't understand that what is appropriate in one situation may not be appropriate in others.  Her mom's talk with her was good.  

 

I find Sean to be a little creepy in his "ladies man" role.  It appears that he is interested in Megan, even though he told Rachel that he wants a girlfriend who doesn't have DS.  He doesn't seem to have many boundaries in his behavior.

[Momof2boyz]

Maybe some of you with better eyesight and larger TV screens can help me out.  I couldn't tell if Megan's boyfriend has Down syndrome.  If so, and if she ends up with him, the baby question is most likely taken care of.  Men with DS are typically sterile.

 

I like getting to know the parents and seeing how they interact with their offspring.  It's tricky, because they are technically adults with adult hopes and dreams, but in many ways they are still child-like.  I also liked seeing Rachel with her brother and his partner.  The families all seem very supportive.  My least favorite is Megan's mom.  If Megan didn't have DS, I have a feeling her mom would want to go clubbing with her and would flirt with her male friends.  I could be completely wrong, but that's the impression I get.

 

Agree with it was nice to get a break from Elena and her drama this week.

I couldn't tell if he had DS or not.  I assume he is Developmentally Disabled but who knows.  I used to work with a girl who was raised by her grandparents, although her mom lived with them too.  It turned out the mom was Developmentally Disabled, although the father, who had left the family was not, and the grandparents were left to take care of both the daughter and her child.  So I can certainly understand Megan's mom's concerns.  I like Megan's mom a lot and I think she really loves Megan.  I don't get that vibe from her at all that you mention.  She is extremely pretty and in great shape, so I get that one could get the cougar vibe, but I don't think that is who she is at all.  I think she was probably a beautiful young woman that got pregnant without a husband and ended up with a DS child which changed the course of her life.  Or maybe she was married/in a relationship and he left.  In any event, you can't judge her by her appearance.

[Bastet]

They were married, she talked about it last night.  It was clearly not a good one, and they split about a year (I think) after Megan was born.

 

I was watching in bed, so on a small TV, and thus didn't see Megan's boyfriend, but from his voice I assumed he had Down's Syndrome as well.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Bastet

[camom]

 

In any event, you can't judge her by her appearance.

 

I wasn't judging by her appearance (although I agree she is a very pretty woman).  I just feel like she wants to be more of a friend than a mother and that it's always been that way.  I think she has spent Megan's entire life telling her that she can do anything she wants, and now it is coming back to bite her a bit.  I could, of course, be dead wrong.