Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[laurakaye]

30 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I think it was yesterday (or the day before) In Minnesota there was a big rally called something like "Operation Gridlock".  The state capitol is surrounded by three major hospitals, and the protesters (with microphones? It sounded like a microphone on the news clip) were attempting to block all of the roads to the hospitals.  Nurses came out of the hospitals and made a human barrier to keep lanes open so that ambulances could get through.

This happened in Lansing, MI at the end of April.  It was supposed to be a stay-inside-your-car protest, but - to no one's surprise - most people got out of their cars without masks and made a gridlock of the human sort near the capitol building - this was in addition to the cars that were blocking a hospital entrance.  I watched and became numb.  There are only so many emotions one body can feel at one time and I think when I feel too many at once, it just turns off my brain as a defense mechanism.  I wish I were kidding. 

Also - I posted the below paragraph on the Counting On threads but I thought I would put it here, too.  Whenever I start to berate myself for not doing the things I think I "should" be doing, I remember this information:

*

*

So bear with me - I read a fascinating post from a nurse who explains exactly why so many of us aren't utilizing this odd time in our lives by clearing out our homes, or doing online yoga, or reading books, etc.  (I myself am a voracious reader and I have completed exactly one book since the middle of March...also, before the world changed I was taking two yoga classes a week and was in the process of reorganizing my basement - all of those things have stopped cold).  It's called Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, a simple pyramid with five levels.  A person needs to be at level 4 or 5 to do the creative, self-improving activities that we normally love and carve out time for.  However, many of us who are "stuck" are truly stuck at level 2 - "safety needs."  The nurse explained it as this: when we can't go to the store and buy the very basic things we need, and are worried to our very core about the health of our loved ones, we aren't going to be able to necessarily chill with a good book or bother cooking healthy dinners.  For me, it struck a nerve and made a ton of sense.  I still feel guilty about the things I am not doing, but as the nurse wrote - if you are drinking your water, sleeping as best you can, getting some fresh air and eating a vegetable once in awhile, you're doing great and should cut yourself some slack.

Just wanted to share that. 🙂

Edited May 7, 2020 by laurakaye

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, laurakaye said:

Just wanted to share that.

Oh THANK YOU for sharing this!!!

[AZChristian]

@Kyanight . . . 

Thank you for sharing your story about the pizza place.

Hubby and I are both high risk for more than one reason.  We were fortunate to stock up (NOT hoard) on necessary stuff before things got really scarce, and have plenty of food, etc., to see us through until things (hopefully) settle down a bit.

I, too, see all the commercials about supporting restaurants by doing curbside pickup, and we see the lines at fast food places when we go out (rarely).  I just could NOT consider buying or consuming any food prepared outside my own kitchen.  Your account validates for me that there are reasons for concern.

It only takes one person who doesn't "get it" to potentially infect a lot of people.  And the fact is that many restaurants and fast food places are staffed by young people, many of whom think they are invincible and just don't "get it."  As hubby and I were driving home from a doctor visit yesterday, we talked about the very real possibility that some of those kids who are having private parties jammed into small spaces are potentially being exposed to covid, and then getting up and going to work at restaurants, etc.  It's just not worth the risk to us.

Our current plan is to stay isolated after things open up, just to make sure there won't be a second wave of contagion.  My heart goes out to those who don't have this option.

[athousandclowns]

9 hours ago, laurakaye said:

 

Just wanted to share that. 🙂

Thank you so much for that post!   I’m beating myself up daily and really depressed about not being able to  become  “ unstuck”  I also can’t read anything more than a cereal box. . I really have no one to talk to that understands .  My best friend said something I felt was judgmental about how I could sort one area at a time. ( told him I Couldn’t die right now and leave my son this big mess)  I am not confrontational with friends or family but managed to tell him ( vis messaging) that we are all wired differently and have lived different lives so there is not normal way to react here.  My son is more than willing to go out and shop and drop things off but I don’t want him out so much.  He goes out for his family all the time.  He’s Very immune compromised.    I’m amazed and shocked that little things that wouldn’t give me pause all my life but now at my advanced age and very isolated situation have tears just leak out.  

The washer  in my crap rental was not spinning the other day so went to YouTube a google and kept running different cycles and looking for lid latch mechanism  when after an hour hit on one that drains and spines.   I wouldn’t want repair guy here or my new landlord who lives in the other duplex.  Thank goodness I have probably over 40 pairs of undies.  I told this best friend it went through my mind if it’s broken I’d figure out how to go to his garage and wash ( he had my great washer  I gave to him and his husband)  and sit in car and wait. He didn’t say anything.   I have another friend who a couple weeks ago asked if I wanted to come pack hygiene / food  kits for the homeless that’s he’s very involved with and felt guilty because I said no.  He has asked if I wanted to walk on a trail where  we’ve walked for years and I’m ashamed  I’m too frightened to do that. He stopped going to the homeless encampments but Is still daily is involved. 
I miss my husband of 35 years and my buddy pooch who died last year.  
Thanks guys  I see my 50 minutes are up. 

Edited May 8, 2020 by athousandclowns
Typo

[Kohola3]

None of us should ever feel one second of guilt for not getting anything done whilst trying to maintain what little sanity we can grasp.  We are all firmly stuck in survival mode so we'll be at the bottom of the pyramid for a long time to come.  No one should have to apologize or justify that. 

We are humans, not robots. If a closet stays messy for months to come, who cares and who has the right to judge?  We all have to get through this the best way we can.

I have decided not to continue to dwell on the stupidity of others any longer. I am just going to hunker down and do what I can for myself and my own safety.  I hope I don't sound too much like the "self care advocates" in the Brown family but I can't control others and there is no point in giving myself a stroke over it. If they want to kill themselves there isn't anything I can do other than stay the heck away from them and keep my fingers crossed that they don't take others with them.

I have the deepest and most heartfelt sympathies for those of you forced to interact with the Darwin Award candidates.  If only I had a magic wand to envelope  you all in a protective bubble until this is done.

 

[AZChristian]

18 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

None of us should ever feel one second of guilt for not getting anything done whilst trying to maintain what little sanity we can grasp.  We are all firmly stuck in survival mode so we'll be at the bottom of the pyramid for a long time to come.  No one should have to apologize or justify that. 

We are humans, not robots. If a closet stays messy for months to come, who cares and who has the right to judge?  We all have to get through this the best way we can.

I have decided not to continue to dwell on the stupidity of others any longer. I am just going to hunker down and do what I can for myself and my own safety.  I hope I don't sound too much like the "self care advocates" in the Brown family but I can't control others and there is no point in giving myself a stroke over it. If they want to kill themselves there isn't anything I can do other than stay the heck away from them and keep my fingers crossed that they don't take others with them.

I have the deepest and most heartfelt sympathies for those of you forced to interact with the Darwin Award candidates.  If only I had a magic wand to envelope  you all in a protective bubble until this is done.

 

I've seen Maslow's hierarchy several times in discussions of how we are reacting to the current situation.  I think it helps a lot to assuage the false guilt that some may be feeling.

I am close to OCD level when it comes to keeping our home tidy, so I'm not surrounded by stuff that I (or others) think I should be cleaning up while there's not much else that can be done.  So we are maintaining our normal tidiness standards, but they don't take much thought or even effort at this point.

But instead of reading or doing something more productive, I find myself binge-watching TV.  I've RE-watched several series and even some new stuff.

The one thing I'm not going to do is feel guilty.  Life is too short.

[Gramto6]

First I want to say Thank You to all who are posting here. It does help to vent and share and really see everyone is having many of the same problems. 

I have had bouts of serious depression even a couple suicide attempts (shortly after DH passed away 22 yrs ago). Had therapy, hospitalizations, medication and group therapy. It took many years to get my head back on straight. I am medication free and mostly OK now, but this pandemic/isolation has me tilting back towards the depression. I have to talk myself down daily...find myself just staring out the windows, wondering when will it all be over???  Then it hit me...I need to be able to see out the windows! Embarrassed to admit I haven't done windows in a few years...I've spent the last couple of days cleaning all the windows, mirrors, glass cabinet doors in the house. Letting the light back in has really helped my mental attitude! Not saying anything about all the other chores/cleaning I could be doing but just don't have the umph to do...

I am a hermit by nature, but this staying at home now feels like a prison of sorts. Normally I only go out once a week, now I go out once every 14-16 days (wearing a mask) to make sure I wasn't infected the last time I was out. Mostly I need to go out to pick up my mail at my PO box so I can collect the few bills I don't have on auto pay

I too will continue to shelter at home even though my state, MT, is beginning to reopen. We have gone 3 days with no new diagnosed cases statewide, and my county has had no new cases in over 2 weeks (the incubation period).  I too will only eat food I prepare and only buy packaged items at the store. When I come back from shopping, I wipe things down with a Lysol cloth and let them sit in a designated area for 2 days. I take all the clothes I wore out off and wash and wash all exposed areas of my body that were exposed. Shipped packages are opened in the garage and unboxed, sprayed with Windex multi surface disinfectant and left for 2 days.

I just love all of you and consider you all my "friends", the support and comfort you bring to me means the world to me. You are all in my prayers daily and I hope we all come through this safe and healthy.💕

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

I have decided not to continue to dwell on the stupidity of others any longer. I am just going to hunker down and do what I can for myself and my own safety.  I hope I don't sound too much like the "self care advocates" in the Brown family but I can't control others and there is no point in giving myself a stroke over it. If they want to kill themselves there isn't anything I can do other than stay the heck away from them and keep my fingers crossed that they don't take others with them.

I'm working on that, but I haven't gotten there yet.  I keep seeing our county numbers go up and know it's because of people ignoring the restrictions and having Easter get togethers and Cinco de Mayo parties.

15 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

find myself just staring out the windows, wondering when will it all be over???  Then it hit me...I need to be able to see out the windows! Embarrassed to admit I haven't done windows in a few years...I've spent the last couple of days cleaning all the windows, mirrors, glass cabinet doors in the house. Letting the light back in has really helped my mental attitude! Not saying anything about all the other chores/cleaning I could be doing but just don't have the umph to do...

That's wonderful that you found a rather simple solution.  Congratulations.

[LilWharveyGal]

Hugs to you, @Gramto6! I'm so glad you're part of our little community here.

[Gramto6]

24 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Hugs to you, @Gramto6! I'm so glad you're part of our little community here.

This place is my safe haven, we are kindred spirits from all walks of life. God bless each and evey one of you!

[Teafortwo]

22 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Sorry to come across as feeling sorry for myself, but maybe I am just a bit.  I work in Minnesota, cases increased by 155% this week.

I have a lot of empathy for what you've been going through, Meowwww. You do not come across as feeling sorry for yourself, at all. You are one of the heroes of this pandemic, putting yourself at risk every day to keep things running for your store's customers. I wish they (and the owners) would appreciate you more and would protect you by wearing masks at the very least.

[Teafortwo]

13 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I just could NOT consider buying or consuming any food prepared outside my own kitchen.  Your account validates for me that there are reasons for concern.

Me too. And yet I know people here in NYC are excited about Starbucks opening up so they can go there to get their coffee!  A large part of a zoom call this morning was devoted to discussing their excitement. To me it's crazy - you're handling a plastic cup (if iced) and have to open up a straw - plus you have to wait outside with bunch of other people -- all this risk for coffee -- which IMO is not nearly as good as many other kinds. I know they have all kinds of flavors and blah blah blah - but those are FLAVORS - they disguise the actual coffee flavor. 

[Teafortwo]

4 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

I wouldn’t want repair guy here or my new landlord who lives in the other duplex.

We have construction workers renovating the apartment above me, and we have mice. Now my building wants us to let in an exterminator - PLUS a handyman to plug up any openings in the walls (I have a crawl space that I can't safely get into, and I can see there are holes in the back when I stick my phone in there to photograph it. Very badly designed kitchen.) I'm in NYC.  I reached out to a much younger friend who is a successful poker player - in other words, a master of risk management -  to ask which is worse, tolerating mice for awhile or letting these workmen in. He recommended learning to live with the mice. I'm taking his advice.

Thankfully my bedroom is under a different apartment - but my kitchen and bathroom are directly below where the work is taking place.  Surprisingly, I'm doing okay with just staying in my bedroom, for now. It's not large but it's my safe haven. I even did some exercising today. Running in place, jumping jacks, squats and some stretching. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I used Christine's workout video from her Lulanoe page she posted a few days ago. She's so dopey - but enthusiastic. I didn't do everything she was doing but her voice kind of carried me through what I wanted to do. I find it calming (when she's not shrill.) I should probably find a YouTube video of an actual fitness professional though. 

I had to pull out tons of stuff from my storage closet to find and plug some holes (I just realized I think I posted about this already) -- but now the boxes have been just sitting in my dining area all week because I haven't been able to bring myself to sort through them. So good to know I'm not alone in feeling stuck. That little bit of exercise was my big accomplishment for the day really.

Edited May 8, 2020 by Teafortwo

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, laurakaye said:

I read a fascinating post from a nurse who explains exactly why so many of us aren't utilizing this odd time in our lives by clearing out our homes, or doing online yoga, or reading books, etc.  (I myself am a voracious reader and I have completed exactly one book since the middle of March...also, before the world changed I was taking two yoga classes a week and was in the process of reorganizing my basement - all of those things have stopped cold).  It's called Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, a simple pyramid with five levels.  A person needs to be at level 4 or 5 to do the creative, self-improving activities that we normally love and carve out time for.  However, many of us who are "stuck" are truly stuck at level 2 - "safety needs."  The nurse explained it as this: when we can't go to the store and buy the very basic things we need, and are worried to our very core about the health of our loved ones, we aren't going to be able to necessarily chill with a good book or bother cooking healthy dinners.  For me, it struck a nerve and made a ton of sense.  I still feel guilty about the things I am not doing, but as the nurse wrote - if you are drinking your water, sleeping as best you can, getting some fresh air and eating a vegetable once in awhile, you're doing great and should cut yourself some slack.

Just wanted to share that. 🙂

Thank you!  I remember Maslow's hierarchy from Psychology grad. school decades ago.  I found an interesting article re: Covid and Maslow's Hierarchy here.

It's so necessary to be reminded not to heap pressure on ourselves to achieve too much while we're dealing with the basics.  I have never been so focused on those basics as right now.  Going into this I had big plans to do all sorts of projects, many of which are still waiting to be done because I just don't feel like doing them or I'm too busy managing the basic stuff.  Hubbie is the same.  Part of the inaction is being depressed and grappling with higher than normal stress, not just being preoccupied with lower level needs, so there are other factors at work in this situation, not just the hierarchy.

I have been trying not to fight the inaction and give myself some slack for it because obviously I need to grieve my father's death, deal with higher stress and depression, and be more preoccupied with lower level needs.  But I do try to do stuff every day that it's hard to do, like tackle a little bit more of my closet organization or reach out to someone I've been meaning to call.  Even doing 30 minutes a day helps.  Plus I throw myself into my cooking.  For me it hits two points on Maslow's scale in that some lower and some slightly higher level needs are being met at the same time.  For those of us that find cooking a creative passtime, it isn't just satisfying the lowest level of needs.  And of course reaching out to others like friends and everyone here is actually meeting the higher need of love and belonging, and even a bit of self-actualization because hopefully it makes us better people in the highest way.  Anything we can do to go outside ourselves to share with others helps them and us to rise above our situations.  Hopefully, anyway!

I remember learning that in practice we usually flit around between Maslow's levels all the time.  Even in this situation it's not like we are completely stuck at the lowest levels all the time.  Thankfully we are not living like it was 10,000 years ago where every day was a fight for survival.  Most of us here, for now at least, still have a roof over our heads with 3 meals and a bed every day.  Thank God for that.  We are more preoccupied with dwindling finances, health issues, stress and worries about the future, but not to the severe degree (yet anyway) that would make us unable to rise above those things on a limited basis - when we're ready to do so, without pressure.  It's the same with the stages of acceptance of death - we can go back and forth between stages.  It's not a constant linear progression.

Thank you for sharing that!

Edited May 8, 2020 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Teafortwo said:

Me too. And yet I know people here in NYC are excited about Starbucks opening up so they can go there to get their coffee!  A large part of a zoom call this morning was devoted to discussing their excitement. To me it's crazy - you're handling a plastic cup (if iced) and have to open up a straw - plus you have to wait outside with bunch of other people -- all this risk for coffee -- which IMO is not nearly as good as many other kinds. I know they have all kinds of flavors and blah blah blah - but those are FLAVORS - they disguise the actual coffee flavor. 

Around me the Starbucks that have drive thru windows have been open.  I went out for an aimless drive today with Mr. Yeah No and we passed one.  I hardly ever have Starbucks anyway but of course right now just because it would be too much of a risk I really could have gone for a mocha frap.   Of course I didn't go get one.  Now I'm going to Google on the best copycat recipes, LOL.

3 hours ago, Absolom said:

I keep seeing our county numbers go up and know it's because of people ignoring the restrictions and having Easter get togethers and Cinco de Mayo parties.

Around me in CT every time I go out for a walk or drive I see most people completely disregarding the orders.  We have something like the 3rd highest death rate in the COUNTRY, you would think people would be more vigilant, but NOOOOO, it's like they're even WORSE.

Today we passed one of those outdoor service only Dairy Queens with the little walk up window.  There were a few people standing in front of it waiting for orders and out of 10 people only ONE of them had on a mask.  No social distancing, nothing.  Many of these people were older, too!  Then even worse was seeing the clerk handing ice cream cones to someone with their BARE HANDS!!!  I was close enough to see because we were waiting for a red light.  I give up with these freaking people!  This was in a town about 20 minutes away but I know they have a higher case rate than in my area.  So it boggles my mind.  These people are the reason why our numbers keep going up despite the so-called lockdown.  Now that the weather is getting nicer there are more of these people out there, unfortunately.

[Gramto6]

I don't understand these people! What are they thinking?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AZChristian]

The store brand of coffee from Costco is processed by Starbucks, and the beans for the store brand are a LOT cheaper than Starbucks.  We buy whole bean regular and decaf coffee and make a "half-caf" blend.  Couple of weeks ago, I went online and ordered four bags of each, and had them delivered to our house.  After the morning hot half-caf, we put in flavored Coffee-Mate and Sweet'n'Low and refrigerate it for our mid-morning "iced coffee" break.  If we WANTED to, we could use the blender and mix the whole thing up for a thicker frappe consistency, but just the flavored coffee over ice works for us.  And it costs pennies, not dollars.  And we don't have to expose ourselves to anyone else to have it.

I had to withdraw from our neighborhood Facebook page yesterday.  Bear in mind, this is a senior community.  We have no children here.  We just have a bunch of residents who are acting like them.  A couple of weeks ago, a bunch of them got together and did a "rolling karaoke" experience.  They mounted some speakers on a golf cart, and drove through the community, stopping occasionally to sing.  (Okay, some of the singing was really awful, but that's karaoke.)  Other than standing on the end of our driveway to watch, we were not involved.  They sang, we clapped, and they drove on.

Yesterday, they announced on our Facebook page that they were going to do it again this Saturday.  And then all hell broke loose.  Twelve people signed a petition and took it to the office, asking that the karaoke parade not be allowed because the noise violated community policies (which, in fact, it does).  So, in response, a group in favor of the parade were going to go door-to-door, gathering signatures on a counter-petition.  During an epidemic.  In a community where EVERY resident is high risk.

A little later, they came back on the Facebook page to announce that they had been told that a second petition would not be accepted at the office, and that the parade was not going to happen.  The resulting furor looked like a bunch of toddlers whose lollipops had been stolen.

People are dying worldwide and the economy is suffering, but these people are waging war over a rolling karaoke parade.

Jesus, take me now.

Edited May 8, 2020 by AZChristian

[Kyanight]

45 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

The store brand of coffee from Costco is processed by Starbucks, and the beans for the store brand are a LOT cheaper than Starbucks.  We buy whole bean regular and decaf coffee and make a "half-caf" blend.  Couple of weeks ago, I went online and ordered four bags of each, and had them delivered to our house.  After the morning hot half-caf, we put in flavored Coffee-Mate and Sweet'n'Low and refrigerate it for our mid-morning "iced coffee" break.  If we WANTED to, we could use the blender and mix the whole thing up for a thicker frappe consistency, but just the flavored coffee over ice works for us.  And it costs pennies, not dollars.  And we don't have to expose ourselves to anyone else to have it.

I had to withdraw from our neighborhood Facebook page yesterday.  Bear in mind, this is a senior community.  We have no children here.  We just have a bunch of residents who are acting like them.  A couple of weeks ago, a bunch of them got together and did a "rolling karaoke" experience.  They mounted some speakers on a golf cart, and drove through the community, stopping occasionally to sing.  (Okay, some of the singing was really awful, but that's karaoke.)  Other than standing on the end of our driveway to watch, we were not involved.  They sang, we clapped, and they drove on.

Yesterday, they announced on our Facebook page that they were going to do it again this Saturday.  And then all hell broke loose.  Twelve people signed a petition and took it to the office, asking that the karaoke parade not be allowed because the noise violated community policies (which, in fact, it does).  So, in response, a group in favor of the parade were going to go door-to-door, gathering signatures on a counter-petition.  During an epidemic.  In a community where EVERY resident is high risk.

A little later, they came back on the Facebook page to announce that they had been told that a second petition would not be accepted at the office, and that the parade was not going to happen.  The resulting furor looked like a bunch of toddlers whose lollipops had been stolen.

People are dying worldwide and the economy is suffering, but these people are waging war over a rolling karaoke parade.

Jesus, take me now.

See.  That's just it.  We have a pandemic going on.  A WORLD WIDE PANDEMIC!!  Something not a one of us have seen in our lifetime.  And we don't know what's at the end of the tunnel.  Will we get this?  If we do, will it be a fairly light case where we can recover at home?  Or will we have to go to the hospital?  What if we die?  (I already typed up some notes for my kids as to what to do if I die - passwords, bank account number, etc. etc)   We have to worry about EVERYONE we come in contact with.  We have to worry about EVERYTHING we touch.  We don't just have our health and well being to worry about,  we have finances to stress over.  And what about our favorite small businesses in the community, and the shop owners/and possibly their families/employees?  Will they go out of business?  And we have others in the community to stress over - will they catch it?  Will they be ok?

And someone here has LOST a very loved parent to this virus.  And now has to worry about a money draining apartment that is impossible to deal with at this time.  And someone else has rodents - that WOULD have been taken care of if we weren't in a world wide crises - but right now it isn't safe.  And we have someone here who works at a BUSY pet store where some people are inconsiderate and don't believe her life is worth wearing a mask over and yet SHE has to wear a mask while she is huffing and puffing trying to lift HEAVY items!

And we all have to stress and worry about WHEN will this end?  In the Fall?  Next Spring?  Two years from now?  Or is this our lives from now on - staying back from fellow human beings, wearing masks, sanitizing our hands constantly - dreading catching this plague? Which is mutating?

And then we have all these yahoos (I wanted to use a stronger word but didn't know if it was allowed) who have turned into absolute snowflakes.  EVERYONE..... that is a capital EVERYONE has HUGE amounts of stress and things to worry about now.  No one is "special", believe me.  No one is singled out.  Targeted.  And yet people act like they are.  They are asked to wear a cloth mask to protect OTHER people?  "OH MY RIGHTS!!  You are putting me in a gas chamber to die like the Jews in WWII by making me wear the yellow star of face mask!"   <~~  That sentiment made me SO angry that I got into a huge argument on a Colorado website with some politician who is whining about this and actually SAID that!"  People blocking roads so that ambulances can't get to the hospitals with their patients.  You have the right to protest?  But what what the right to survive by the occupants of the ambulances?  Is your right to protest more paramount than another individual's very life?  Well apparently that is what they believe!   Their right to whine about wearing a face mask is more important than anyone else's right to exist.  Mind boggling.

And you have a couple of kind souls who simply want to cheer up others, because remember, ALL of us are scared and stressed.  And how can they do that?  How do you cheer up a large group of people when you can't get together?  Can't deliver treats because some people are allergic or don't like certain foods and right now it isn't SAFE to make your own treats and deliver them.  Well they can sing!  Not very well - but it's something they can give of themselves to MAYBE cheer some folks up - and it probably made THEM feel good inside that here was SOMETHING they could do during this pandemic, to take a bit of control.  And what - it's too noisy.  That hour of one day of one week out of one month.  So people get their panties in a twist and say "We will put a stop to THAT!  We want to sit in our quiet homes and bite our fingernails and cry. Alone."  So another group has to protest the protesters.  And so it goes.

Siggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Well.  My rambling only touched the tip of the Titanic's ice burg.  Thank heavens we have this tiny place here with each other.  

I hope the protesters stay away from this board.  Because FB can be a horror right now.

And my last thought on this... what happened to basic kindness?  It's KIND to wear a mask to protect others.  It's KIND to allow people to break the rules for a small window of time and let them sing to cheer up others.  THEY are being kind to even do that.

I think God, regardless of what religion you are and what you believe - would want people to simply be KIND to each other in the community. 

Edited May 8, 2020 by Kyanight

[AZChristian]

@Kyanight

You GET IT!  Standing ovation to your entire post.

[Roslyn]

After catching up on this thread I am more and more thankful to live in the country where my neighbors are more than a half mile away...

On a lighter note when the weather allows us, my husband and I are beginning to replace my greenhouse.  I took a photo of my Oak tree right before we began removing the degraded panels.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

And someone here has LOST a very loved parent to this virus.  And now has to worry about a money draining apartment that is impossible to deal with at this time. 

Awwww, Kya, thanks for this - I wish I could make you a hot cocoa and put a blanket around you right now.  It's so sweet of you to care about all of us on this board so much.  

I pray every night that something will happen to deliver me from that situation.  From all of our situations.  None of us is having it easy right now.

I looked into possible deferment of the monthly maintenance payments because rent and mortgage payments are getting deferrals due to Covid-19, but I haven't found anything on this pertaining to co-op apartments.  They are this very unique thing that pretty much only exists in NYC and so I'm not finding anything on it.  I could ask the management company of the building but I HATE dealing with them and try to avoid it as much as possible.  As a friend of mine used to say at moments like this, "I'd rather go get a root canal".  I might have to break down and do it, though. 

I have nightmares at night that a window was left open in the apartment or a light is on and no one is there to deal with it.  The manager of the building asked me last month if I needed anyone to get anything from the apartment and I told her I'd let her know.  I have suspected for some time now that she has a secret set of keys to the apartment that my father gave her years ago "just in case" but she doesn't really want to come clean about it.  I have good reason to believe this based on past events, such as my father getting locked out last year and leaving a voicemail for the manager but he called my husband by mistake.  He was asking her if she could let him into the apartment.  When I asked him a few months ago whether anyone had a key other than his personal attendant, he said, "no", but his memory had been failing in his final months so I don't think he even remembered that.

As far as mice go, I have them in my attic.  I had just signed up with a pest control company before the pandemic but had to cancel it for obvious reasons.  Fortunately they leave when the weather gets warm so they're gone now but will be back in the fall.  I wouldn't want to let the exterminator into the house right now anyway.  My husband and I aren't as handy as all that and now there are several things piling up that a handy friend of ours usually does for us at "friendly" prices.  Of course all of a sudden there are all these things, like the frame and glass on the door of the microwave is now coming loose - the outer glass thankfully, not the inside glass and frame that actually seals the oven when you put it on.

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

And then we have all these yahoos (I wanted to use a stronger word but didn't know if it was allowed) who have turned into absolute snowflakes.  EVERYONE..... that is a capital EVERYONE has HUGE amounts of stress and things to worry about now.  No one is "special", believe me.  No one is singled out.  Targeted.  And yet people act like they are.  They are asked to wear a cloth mask to protect OTHER people?  "OH MY RIGHTS!!  You are putting me in a gas chamber to die like the Jews in WWII by making me wear the yellow star of face mask!"   <~~  That sentiment made me SO angry that I got into a huge argument on a Colorado website with some politician who is whining about this and actually SAID that!"  People blocking roads so that ambulances can't get to the hospitals with their patients.  You have the right to protest?  But what what the right to survive by the occupants of the ambulances?  Is your right to protest more paramount than another individual's very life?  Well apparently that is what they believe!   Their right to whine about wearing a face mask is more important than anyone else's right to exist.  Mind boggling.

Speaking of making comparisons to the Jews in WWII in the gas chambers, a HS friend of mine posted this on his Facebook page (it's public and I have his permission anyway to post it here).  It was written by his 92 year old uncle recently and I thought it would be relevant to share here:

Quote

My 92 year old uncle just posted this, and asked for it to be circulated. His strength and outlook on life never cease to amaze me.

Dear family and friends:

Today, May 5th, exactly 75 years ago, I was liberated in the Mauthausen Concentration camp. It was a warm spring day. I was 17 years old, weighed 64 lbs. and my feet were rotting. I was too weak to stand. Very little changed for us for about a week and then we received military rations which killed us. Every day we were closer to death but we were free.

I said I was liberated in the camp and not from the camp as we had to stay there for at least another 3 weeks before we could leave for another dictatorship. From Nazism to communism. Liberation gave us hope, although about 20 thousands died in our camp even after liberation. One man in our camp, who had been for 10 years in various camps died from a heart attack on liberation day.

People frequently ask me what our feelings were on being liberated. Most of us didn’t care as the only thing that mattered was food. Anything edible. Grass, breadcrusts, roots, even raw potatoes.
Sure there was a happy atmosphere in the camp but the liberation did nothing for us or our condition as the American troops had no food or medications and we were all starving, diseased or dead. And the war was still going on.

A few weeks later I left the camp wearing the clothing of a murdered prisoner and suddenly had the world at my disposal but didn’t know what to do with it. There was no introduction through my parents or friends. We had to figure it out ourselves. We were in a world destroyed by death, hate and bombs. One thing we had learned was that dictatorship and hate would not be part of our life. We had lived it, we had witnessed it. And that’s why I am close to tears when I see slogans of hate and prejudice.

People who make up these signs think they are funny. They have never seen a person dying. Or slept next to a corpse. They are grown people who think that world is their sandbox. I had hoped that through the suffering of the millions in the camps, the piles of corpses and the few witnesses like me, the world would have learned and be filled with hugs. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Life is beautiful and unfortunately far too short. Please give it a soft kiss. It has given us many reasons to smile.

If you or your family have not been permanently affected by the virus, consider yourself blessed. I think the secret to happiness is being able to differentiate between a nuisance and a tragedy. But it is our responsibility to make sure that neither will occur.

Hugs. Lots of them. Werner

I think his final sentence here says it all.

Thanks again for your heartfelt posts, Kya.  They are most appreciated.  Hang tight, we'll get through this together!!!  (((hugs))).  

Edited May 8, 2020 by Yeah No

[TurtlePower]

On 5/6/2020 at 11:52 AM, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Oof, kidney infection sounds miserable! How are you feeling now?

I have a growth on my tonsil 😬 I had a hell of a time even getting an appt to have it seen. It’s not like I wanted to go, but growth on tonsil needs to be checked out (like growths on skin, JANELLE). The last thing I wanted to do was have anyone near my mouth. This was about three weeks ago. Turns out the growth is fine. Hypertrophy. The dr likened it to a mole on skin. As a cancer survivor, I get my ass to the dr when something is off. The dr said I win the award for the weirdest thing he had seen that day.

On the mend, thanks, but it was incredibly painful. Still is but slowly going away. 

[suomi]

"Life is beautiful and unfortunately far too short. Please give it a soft kiss."

The gentleman's entire post is amazing and this thought is especially lovely.

[Meowwww]

I am a shameless Starbucks lover.  Shameless.  The one by my work recently reopened its drive through and I’ve been there everyday for my beloved venti iced nonfat latte, quad, light ice, add caramel drizzle.  I’m already working daily with the public (we had a record sales day today! And I worked a 12 hour day.  Having wine now to reward myself). 
So I am probably causing more issues by getting my coffee.  However, I keep Lysol wipes in my truck and wipe down the outside of the cup and cover immediately. 
All of you here are the only people I know taking this seriously.  Even my in-laws are in their late 70s and are going out and about every day. 

However, we all think we had it.  I came home from London in October with a fever and terrible cough, wheezed for months.  Then the weird fevers in February.  My mother in law had the same thing in December that I had in October.  I worry that it’s false bravado.  For them and for me, but we won’t ever know unless 100% accurate antibody tests come on the market and new strains don’t evolve. 
On Mother’s Day, they and my husband And his brother and 2 kids are getting together at hubby’s sisters house.  Hubby’s sister always includes her friend and her 2 kids....friends husband is an EMT.  There will be some 15 people there and it’s a recipe for disaster.   I am not going, my mom died in July and I just want to be alone that day.  I need to sort her jewelry and when I open her boxes, the smell of her goes right to my gut.  
Blabbering as usual lol.  Thanks for listening and so many hugs to you all.  This is my favorite little corner of the internet, because of all of you.  

Edited May 9, 2020 by Meowwww
Strains not stains.

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

On Mother’s Day, they and my husband And his brother and 2 kids are getting together at hubby’s sisters house.  Hubby’s sister always includes her friend and her 2 kids....friends husband is an EMT.  There will be some 15 people there and it’s a recipe for disaster.   I am not going, my mom died in July and I just want to be alone that day.  I need to sort her jewelry and when I open her boxes, the smell of her goes right to my gut.

I SOOO understand this! My mother died when my children were very young - too young to remember what a wonderful person she was.  I STILL cry more often than I would like to admit, because of missing her.  Supposedly we work through the stages of grief and move on... but I will grieve for my loved ones until the day that I die.

Maybe you should just keep all of her jewelry, if there isn't a whole lot of it.

I'm no help, am I.   ((((((((Meowwww))))))

[Meowwww]

34 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I SOOO understand this! My mother died when my children were very young - too young to remember what a wonderful person she was.  I STILL cry more often than I would like to admit, because of missing her.  Supposedly we work through the stages of grief and move on... but I will grieve for my loved ones until the day that I die.

Maybe you should just keep all of her jewelry, if there isn't a whole lot of it.

I'm no help, am I.   ((((((((Meowwww))))))

Oh I’m keeping it all.  I’ve kept so much, from her purse to her slippers to a few pieces of her clothing to her jewelry.  It’s just all jumbled up in a box and I need to straighten it out.  But it’s going to be soooo hard. 
Hugs to you too.  Losing our moms is so awful. 
My mom has visited me so many times, I’ve had so many signs from her.  And she’s in my dreams a lot.  Have you had visits from your mom?  
 

[deirdra]

16 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

Oh I’m keeping it all.  I’ve kept so much, from her purse to her slippers to a few pieces of her clothing to her jewelry.  It’s just all jumbled up in a box and I need to straighten it out.  But it’s going to be soooo hard. 

I don't think you need to make the box orderly with each item in a designated place.  I have a box with personal things in it and it is like a voyage of discovery when you pull them out and look at them each time. Other things like papers that relate to family history, photos, and my father's tools are more enjoyable and useful when organized, but not my mother's personal stuff. I keep the purse things in the purse.  Looking in there a year later, I'm pleasantly surprised by at least one thing I find in there and remember the smell.

[Teafortwo]

@Kyanight I saw these on Etsy and thought of you:

https://i.etsystatic.com/22605949/r/il/384ff9/2341981547/il_794xN.2341981547_ofeg.jpg

[Meowwww]

28 minutes ago, deirdra said:

I don't think you need to make the box orderly with each item in a designated place.  I have a box with personal things in it and it is like a voyage of discovery when you pull them out and look at them each time. Other things like papers that relate to family history, photos, and my father's tools are more enjoyable and useful when organized, but not my mother's personal stuff. I keep the purse things in the purse.  Looking in there a year later, I'm pleasantly surprised by at least one thing I find in there and remember the smell.

Aww you get me. 
Her  jewelry is all jumbled up and thrown together and knotted.  I feel it would bother her. It’s been bothering me so it’s my mission.  I’m just not ready to smell her.  
I have other boxes of her stuff that I’m not going to go into.  Not ready yet.  I can’t.   Her jewelry is really bugging me though, so it’s my mission. Who knows if I will really do it though, it’s been my mission for months now and I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it yet. 

[Teafortwo]

3 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Thanks for listening and so many hugs to you all.

Hugs to you right back, Meowwww. 

And for all the Starbucks lovers.... Last night I ordered Instacart from our local horrid grocery store (no protocols, etc. but lowest prices).  The shopper started around 8 am and the food arrived at 9 am. This was amazing because where I was staying before at the beach, there was only one grocery store and you had to order at least 5 days in advance for an Instacart pickup. The store I used today is delivery only.  I got everything I paid for -- plus 2 bags of ground Starbucks coffee! I called the store and they said to contact Instacart. I contacted them and they said to just keep it. So now I am deciding whom to gift it to.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Hugs to you right back, Meowwww. 

And for all the Starbucks lovers.... Last night I ordered Instacart from our local horrid grocery store (no protocols, etc. but lowest prices).  The shopper started around 8 am and the food arrived at 9 am. This was amazing because where I was staying before at the beach, there was only one grocery store and you had to order at least 5 days in advance for an Instacart pickup. The store I used today is delivery only.  I got everything I paid for -- plus 2 bags of ground Starbucks coffee! I called the store and they said to contact Instacart. I contacted them and they said to just keep it. So now I am deciding whom to gift it to.

I got an Instacart order too - got it in only an hour too.  My shopper must have been new because he made a few mistakes including leaving out a couple of things we got charged for and instead of a small package of thin chicken cutlets we got a 5 lb. bag of fresh bone-in skin-on chicken thighs.  We were charged for the cutlets, which were only $6.59 as opposed to about $15.00 for the thighs.  I ended up making a double batch of baked chicken with potatoes and onions, a recipe of my mother's, and gave the guy a great review in which I didn't call out his mistakes.  It was amazing about the thighs because I had really wanted them but didn't order them because of the price.  I felt sorry for the young man because he showed up in a late model white BMW.  He looked like a white collar person that probably got laid off recently - a sign of the times.

Before the pandemic I used to give food away to a less fortunate friend on disability.  Now she is doing better than we are financially and I am the one being grateful for charity.  How times have changed.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Aww you get me. 
Her  jewelry is all jumbled up and thrown together and knotted.  I feel it would bother her. It’s been bothering me so it’s my mission.  I’m just not ready to smell her.  
I have other boxes of her stuff that I’m not going to go into.  Not ready yet.  I can’t.   Her jewelry is really bugging me though, so it’s my mission. Who knows if I will really do it though, it’s been my mission for months now and I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it yet. 

I lost my mom in 2001.  It was years before I could go through her things.  I have a box of her jewelry also knotted up that still smells of her perfume after all these years.  It is still hard for me to smell it.

Even worse is that my father never dealt with her things after she died.  I had to use vacation time from work on several long weekends in 2008 to go through it.  At first I used work bonus money to stay in a rented room in someone's house while there.  There was so much stuff in that apartment that there wasn't enough room for a bed.  I finally was able to buy a bed after a few months to put in my old room.  There is still stuff of my mom's exactly where it was when she died that I will have to deal with when I can finally get down to NYC.  Despite all the work I did there with the help of hubbie and friends over a 3 year period in 2008, 2009 and 2010 there is still a LOT in that apartment to go through, if you can believe that.  It is a real nightmare.  My mother was a real book-o-phile and their apartment was like a library with bookcases everywhere.  No matter how many books have left that apartment there are still a LOT there.  Plus when her mother and brother died she took in a lot of their stuff because she was sentimental and the closets are full of it.  I had to stop going through stuff because it made my father upset after a while to see things being taken away.  He was acting like a hoarder about it.  I didn't want to make an old man with a heart condition upset so I had to stop.  Plus I was working and going through menopause and then had gallbladder issues plus work stress that made going down there harder on me anyway.  Being the only person to deal with this situation was a lot.  Then only a couple of years later my father took in a roommate, which made things all the more difficult.  She died last Fall.  Thankfully her family came to retrieve her things.

So needless to say, I am STILL being forced to deal with this apartment 20 years later.  Every time I set foot in it I leave in tears.  It's very emotional for me because of all the memories now turned into nightmares as time decays them. I can never get past it, it's always there like a constant reminder and noose around my neck being forced upon me, not to mention that the neighborhood parking situation has gotten so tight that even just finding a place to PARK is a huge issue.  Just a month before the pandemic my husband and I started going down there more often and my father was OK with letting us go through stuff.  We had planned to keep going down every couple of weeks or so when suddenly everything was locked down.  And the rest is history.

My mother visits me often in my thoughts.  We were very close and very much alike.  I was an only child.  All she does is apologize to me for what happened after she died because she says she would never have wanted to leave me to deal with all of this.  My father endured a lot of loss around the time she died.  He also lost 3 of his lifelong best friends in the same year.  And the hits just kept on coming.  So he was emotionally unable to handle all of it.  Despite seeing a therapist for years, he never made much progress.  I don't think he ever realized what his issues were because all he could say is how well adjusted his therapist thought he was.  He buried stuff like that and instead put on his usual happy, congenial face to the world.  When my husband finally told him a few years ago that his refusal to let us go through the apartment was hurting me, he didn't react.  As wonderful as my father was to me in general, he really failed me after my mother died.

I apologize for making everything in this thread about me lately, and for depressing everyone even more than they already are, but my life in many ways right now is a total nightmare.  Thanks for bearing with me.

Edited May 9, 2020 by Yeah No

[LydiaE]

5 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

@Kyanight I saw these on Etsy and thought of you:

https://i.etsystatic.com/22605949/r/il/384ff9/2341981547/il_794xN.2341981547_ofeg.jpg

The irony...

[Kohola3]

I can't speak for men but I feel like a lot of women never really get over losing a mom.  I was extremely lucky to have mine until she was 90 although had Alzheimers the last couple of years so I "lost" her at the time she went down that horrible path.  And toward the end she talked a lot about missing her own mom who died very young.

Glad the Instacarts are working for you.  My friend in the Detroit area used it and the order never arrived.  Had a couple of hundred dollars worth of stuff ordered and Instacart kept the money and said "hey, tough, it happens"!  We don't have anything like that available but we have the Walmart curbside.  Although that has its downside as well. I started an order 2 weeks out and I ordered a big jar of grape jelly for my oriole feeder.  I got a message that it wasn't available so I waited a couple of days and tried again.  Got another message - unavailable.  And, as you can probably guess, at the time of pick up I got the jelly - NINE jars of it!  The same thing happened to my sister in Indiana - she ended up with 13 packs of hot dogs.  She said the guy who brought it out probably wondered exactly how many kids she had (they were actually for dog training).

Waiting for the snow to arrive...

[deirdra]

10 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Aww you get me. 
Her  jewelry is all jumbled up and thrown together and knotted.  I feel it would bother her. It’s been bothering me so it’s my mission.  I’m just not ready to smell her.  
I have other boxes of her stuff that I’m not going to go into.  Not ready yet.  I can’t.   Her jewelry is really bugging me though, so it’s my mission. Who knows if I will really do it though, it’s been my mission for months now and I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it yet. 

I understand the jewelry problem.  I spent 2 hrs untangling/unknotting three of my mother's necklaces!  Once undone, I wrapped them individually in pretty fabric she had so they won't re-tangle.  

[Sandy W]

17 minutes ago, deirdra said:

I understand the jewelry problem.  I spent 2 hrs untangling/unknotting three of my mother's necklaces!  Once undone, I wrapped them individually in pretty fabric she had so they won't re-tangle.  

As an antique dealer specializing in silver and jewelry, I have found the best way to untangle knots in chains is to sprinkle with talcum or baby powder, work it gently through the tangle, then insert a pin into the worst of the knots, giving the mass a gentle shake.  Still takes a lot of time, but there is less stress on the chain with the lubrication of the powder.  Rinse and dry when done.

Nice touch to wrap your Mom's treasures in her own fabric, just be sure to use the clasp to ensure it won't happen again

[xwordfanatik]

Speaking of Instacart, the last orders I got from Fred Meyer and Costco were perfect, except for the store(s) being out of an item or two.  I tipped them extra, because they did a great job.

The previous two orders I got had a few errors.  I was still able to get most of what I wanted.  I still tipped, but not as much.  It's got to be a jungle out there for delivery people, and they're very appreciated.  I started getting Schwan's every other week, and have been happy with everything we've tried, so far.  

I went through mom's old jewelry a while back.  I sent some to my daughter and kept the rest.  50's and 60's chic.  😊  I just love looking at it and remembering mom wearing it.

[LilWharveyGal]

2 hours ago, Sandy W said:

As an antique dealer specializing in silver and jewelry..

 

I just have to say, this sounds like an awesome job!

[Sandy W]

1 hour ago, LilWharveyGal said:

I just have to say, this sounds like an awesome job!

It is awesome for sure.  I left a busy real estate career 30 years ago, thinking I wanted to be more in control of my own time.  We bought an RV and cargo van and traveled like gypsies all the winter months throughout the southern states doing shows along the way.  We have traveled through all the lower 48 and done shows in many of them. 

As we aged, we gave up heavy furniture and condensed down to lighter, easier to handle inventory.  I had my own shop for 5 years in a picturesque town with lots of other antique shops and boutiques, but it was an hours drive each way from home and eventually that became too much too.  Now that we are in our 80's, I maintain a presence in that same town in a group shop that I only have to attend to freshen my stock, usually weekly and have another group shop closer to home.

It's a hobby that became a passion, it gives me great joy to restore or re-purpose a neglected piece of jewelry or silver that may otherwise have found it's way to landfill.  It also satisfies my need to finally be the 'mistress of my own domain', if I feel like goofing off for a few days and spend hours reading or on the internet, I can, and when the creative urge strikes, I have been known to hole up for 12 hours at a stretch.

[LilWharveyGal]

@Sandy W if you do any online selling please PM me a link. 

[Kyanight]

17 hours ago, Meowwww said:

My mom has visited me so many times, I’ve had so many signs from her.  And she’s in my dreams a lot.  Have you had visits from your mom?  

We used to a LOT after she first died.  Things would fall into place in certain situations so perfectly and so impossibly that my dad and I would look at each other in awe and say "That was Mom"!  And you were talking about your mother's scent.  Just the other day I smelled something and stopped in surprise and said, "That was Mom!" It had been SO LONG!!   And sometimes when I am missing her I will "feel" her for a moment.  It's hard to explain.  But it's nice. 

[Kyanight]

11 hours ago, LydiaE said:

The irony...

To Lydiae:   What do you mean by that?   Should I be insulted?

 

 

16 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

@Kyanight I saw these on Etsy and thought of you:

https://i.etsystatic.com/22605949/r/il/384ff9/2341981547/il_794xN.2341981547_ofeg.jpg

Thank you Tea!!  I might check those out! Plus you get FOUR!!  Here is what I've bought (sheep-wise) so far:

 

Edited May 9, 2020 by Kyanight

[xwordfanatik]

Both my late mom and mother in law wore Youth Dew by Estee Lauder.  When I smell anyone wearing it (usually in the grocery store BC) I'd think of them.  I love that some of those vintage perfumes are still made today.  

 

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

To Lydiae:   What do you mean by that?   Should I be insulted?

 

 

Thank you Tea!!  I might check those out! Plus you get FOUR!!  Here is what I've bought (sheep-wise) so far:

 

I didn't get the irony comment, either.  Hopefully Lydiae will clarify.

[Kyanight]

46 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

 

I didn't get the irony comment, either.  Hopefully Lydiae will clarify.

It's all good.  If someone has a problem with me I would MUCH rather they say something.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Both my late mom and mother in law wore Youth Dew by Estee Lauder.  When I smell anyone wearing it (usually in the grocery store BC) I'd think of them.  I love that some of those vintage perfumes are still made today.  

The scent I most associate with my mother is Maja, although she did wear other vintage perfumes like Chanel.  She used the Maja soap and talcum powder and her dresser drawers smelled of them.  I hadn't thought about it in YEARS when a few years ago I found some hand lotion and bath gel in that scent in a local Walmart of all places, so I had to buy them.  At first I felt nostalgic and comforted by the scent but after a while I had to stop using those things.  I think it was too sad for me to constantly get emotional about my mom through that scent.  Now I just use it "once in a while".  Meanwhile I think about my mom pretty much every day without the scent and it doesn't get to me.  I think the scent association is a very emotional one.

[Yeah No]

Well, as if things weren't already depressing enough, our lawyer and good friend's aunt, who is 96 and lives in an assisted living facility has now tested positive for Covid 19.  I was afraid that would happen but our friend was hopeful it wouldn't happen, comforted by the strict measures being taken by the facility's management to prevent the virus from getting in.  The management was only allowing staff that stayed on the premises to work there, a very strict and hard to maintain practice.  Plus no delivery people or visitors were allowed anywhere near the living areas, only in separate buildings.  It worked for a long time and until last week they had zero cases, which if you've been following what's happening in nursing homes and assisted living facilities was amazing.  Of course, that was last week and things changed this week.  She was transferred to the hospital yesterday.  Our friend says that hubbie and I are the only people he knows that could possibly understand what he's going through.  He lost his mother at the age of 22 and his aunts were like his surrogate moms in a lot of ways.  This one is the last aunt left.  None of his relatives on either side from that generation are left.  He just lost his father last fall.  Now he can't even visit his aunt and she is in the hospital completely alone.  I am saying my prayers for her but am realistic about her chances.

[Kyanight]

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I am saying my prayers for her but am realistic about her chances.

I am so so sorry!  I will add her to my prayer list.  😞

[Yeah No]

36 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I am so so sorry!  I will add her to my prayer list.  😞

Thank you!  

[AZChristian]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think the scent association is a very emotional one.

I am so (affectionately) jealous of all of you who have lovely "scent memories" of your mothers.

My female birth vessel reeked of stale cigarette smoke.  Pretty much summarizes all the warm fuzzy feelings I associate with my childhood.

It really does do my heart good to read all of the positive posts.  Please know how blessed you were.  I honor each of you and your mothers for having the RIGHT kind of "scent (and other) memories."

[Roslyn]

1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

I am so (affectionately) jealous of all of you who have lovely "scent memories" of your mothers.

My female birth vessel reeked of stale cigarette smoke.  Pretty much summarizes all the warm fuzzy feelings I associate with my childhood.

It really does do my heart good to read all of the positive posts.  Please know how blessed you were.  I honor each of you and your mothers for having the RIGHT kind of "scent (and other) memories."

I agree.  Those who hit the mother lottery are very blessed.  But there are those who did not.  I am always quiet on mothers day so I don't blacken any celebrations.  I consider myself a survivor of my "female birth vessel" (I love this title).

I have good memories of my Grandmother tho, and it is her influence on who I am today that I think of and celebrate.  I feed the birds and plant marigolds every year in her honor.

(((❤️)))