S06.E08: What Makes You Happy

[ghoulina]

About Leah, (and I have no proof to back this up), I think that she was abused or molested by one of Mama Dawn's boyfriends/husbands/cousins. It would explain the overt favoritism Mama Dawn shows to Leah over her other kids, Leah's maturity stopping at 13-14

 

I've long thought this, but thought maybe I was reading too much into things, so I never said anything. It's nice to see I'm not the only one. The way Mama Dawn favors her has always been weird to me, because it didn't necessarily come across as "You're just so awesome and I love you the best". It always seemed more, to me, like she was trying to keep Leah happy. Like she owed her. And then I read about how she had a bad marriage and has been through all this crap. Leah lets new guys around her daughters within in days of knowing them, so I wondered if this was a learned behavior. 

 

You'd almost think she would more hesitant and protective of her girls, if she had been molested herself. But I see this (if it happened) as something Leah never really dealt with. No therapy, no confronting the dude, nothing. In her head, she might think  something was mutual or her fault or nothing really happened, etc. But there is really just something off about Leah and Dawn's relationship. I could be really reaching, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about this several times. 

[lucky.b]

I also thought Jeremy's comment to Leah on the phone, as she was discussing potentially going to the "treatment facility place" was somewhat telling & points in the direction y'all are going. When he said "And don't hold nothin' back ... even if it makes you cry or whatever", my first thought was that Jeremy KNOWS what has happened to Leah in her past because Leah has told him, and he knows its a contributing factor to some of her issues. He wants her to get it out with the help of a trained professional, and finally confront the demons to get the help she so badly needs. 

[GreatKazu]

I too thought about molestation or sex abuse. I think it was mentioned before last season. I have hinted at it in my posts without directly pointing it out. Statistics show that females who are molested or sexually abused at a young age, are likely to have multiple sexual partners at a young age, engage in promiscuous behavior, etc. Leah can't seem to be without a guy in her life. Of course, it could be other issues such as her wishing she had her father in her life. She was determined, and got what she wanted when she asked him to be at her wedding by walking her down the sandy aisle.

[lidarose9]

In some families, the only way a female child gets praise is by getting a husband and having kids. If Leah came from a family where everybody had kids at a young age, she would naturally follow the same formula. She doesn't know any other way to be. 

 

There is less likelihood of this happening in a family where girls graduate from high school and go on to some kind of continuing education or have a job and get promoted, or have achievements in some activity where they are valued for something other than having kids.

 

I also think in a lot of these situations, the mother is trying to work out her own issues through her daughter. Dawn has a LOT invested in seeing Leah as a strong, successful woman, who, if nothing else, is a great mom. If there is something wrong with Leah, that reflects on Dawn's parenting and the decisions Dawn made in her own life. Dawn needs to see herself as having been a great mom. So she will do everything she can to uphold that interpretation, even at the risk of the safety of those girls and the utter misery of her daughter. I find it incredibly selfish. 

Edited September 3, 2015 by lidarose9

[Joe Jitsu913]

Dawn almost acts like Leah's groupie or hanger-on instead of a parental figure. Like Dina Lohan or Kris Kardashian. Would not surprise me if she is getting pills for Leah. She seems shady like that.

[zenme]

Dawn almost acts like Leah's groupie or hanger-on instead of a parental figure. Like Dina Lohan or Kris Kardashian. Would not surprise me if she is getting pills for Leah. She seems shady like that

 

Oh, I can totally see that.  Dawn is an enabler.  I get being a supportive parent, but I will ALWAYS steer my children in what I feel is the right direction, even if they don't want to hear it.  It seems that Dawn sees unconditional love as unconditional support. 

[GreatKazu]

Not to mention that the husband in Dawn's teenage wedding wasn't exactly a teenager himself.

Right. He was an adult. It seems the pattern going on in this family is, young girl marries adult guy. It comes off as if the family feels it is okay for the husband to be an adult, and that it is better that he is an adult because somehow that means he is capable of caring and supporting the young girl. Leah's father's argument to the family was likely that he is a man who is able to support their teenage daughter. The Spears family figured if she is going to get married, better to marry an adult with a job than to hook up with the local boy who had no job. I can't get out of my head that scene the first time Mama Dawn and her spouse met Jermy. Straight out of the chute, they were telling Jermy how Leah and the girls need to be supported. Those two had just met!

 

My spouse's mother was married off at the age of 16 to a guy in his 30s. This was back in the late 1930s.  The story goes that her family felt she was better off marrying a man who owned land, had a great income, and was more than capable of supporting his teen bride. I told my spouse that he was likely into young girls and flaunted his wealth to get her family to "give" her to him. My other theory is, the family did this expecting to gain something out of this such as a share in his wealth. Another theory is, he likely paid the family a large amount of money in exchange for their teen daughter. We will never know as my spouse's mother divorced her spouse after having one baby with him. She remarried later on. She died years ago, before I ever met her son.

[zenme]

My spouse's mother was married off at the age of 16 to a guy in his 30s. This was back in the late 1930s.  The story goes that her family felt she was better off marrying a man who owned land, had a great income, and was more than capable of supporting his teen bride.

 

GreatKazu, my grandfather was 36 and my grandmother was 16 when they got married.  My grandpa had just come back to their farm community--right out of the Army after WWII.  Her parents thought he was a great catch.  It was a different time and place.  They knew each other 2 weeks before they got married, and that only lasted 8 years.  I can't even imagine.  I thought 30 was ancient when I was 16, and I definitely can't imagine being saddled down at 16. 

[GreatKazu]

GreatKazu, my grandfather was 36 and my grandmother was 16 when they got married.  My grandpa had just come back to their farm community--right out of the Army after WWII.  Her parents thought he was a great catch.  It was a different time and place.  They knew each other 2 weeks before they got married, and that only lasted 8 years.  I can't even imagine.  I thought 30 was ancient when I was 16, and I definitely can't imagine being saddled down at 16. 

I felt the same way when I was a teen. The thought of being married off at that age to what I had considered "an old man"...lol Of course, by the age of 20, a man in his 30s no longer seemed old or ancient to me. It was definitely a different time and place for the grandmothers when they were teens. Very acceptable for a young girl to be married to an older man. But, for Mama Dawn's family to feel that way in the 1990s? It must be in the moonshine. I just can't imagine what Leah's father had to offer other than being a "church man". See how those drug abusers lie and manipulate?

Edited September 3, 2015 by GreatKazu

[Darknight]

I think that situation is a little different. Leah's mom was allowed to marry at the age of fifteen. She made a promise to her parents she would put off becoming pregnant for a while. She became pregnant two months later. Mama Dawn's mother also married young. Leah is the one who became pregnant at a young age without having been married first. Something about that family where the women are not frowned upon for marrying young. It could be how they are in the area or just her family, not sure.

Shotgun wedding

[Darknight]

About Leah, (and I have no proof to back this up), I think that she was abused or molested by one of Mama Dawn's boyfriends/husbands/cousins. It would explain the overt favoritism Mama Dawn shows to Leah over her other kids, Leah's maturity stopping at 13-14 (when I think the Incident occurred), the 'pain, anxiety & stress' she keeps referring to, and her freaky ways ever since. It's obvious she never had therapy to deal with it, so her mistakes, choices, and acting out is all as a result. She is using the narcs as a bandaid for these issues that she has never talked about on-camera. Maybe she even has some guilt about it, like she tempted the guy or something---Jermy's comment that she should love herself makes sense. Usually when someone deals with addiction, they are using a physical mechanism to salve an emotional wound. Something happened to Leah, something happened in her teenage years that broke her emotionally, and she's been hiding from it ever since.

Some girls who are raped or molester act out sexually. Leah and her family are just fucked up

[toodywoody]

Watching Barb try to reason with Jenelle is painful and her becoming upset about trying to protect Jace and DeadEyes just standing there slathering shit on her lips, just goes to show everyone DeadEyes only thinks of herself.

[DoctorWhovian]

There have been many times this season where it seems like Leah is hinting that she needs help and the people around her are too used to running over her (her mom) or totally sick of her shit (Cory and Melinda). I don't think she is as cold-hearted as Kail or Jenelle but I think she has the maturity of a 13 or 14 year old. Her storyline is just sad  I think she particularly would do better without the Mtv cameras around. It would be interesting if the rehab counselors recommend that.

Edited to add: Oops Miranda not Melinda, thanks Mkay! Sort of happy though that some parts of my brain are still Teen Mom 2 free!

 

Ahem. She is going to therapy not rehab! /s

 

I know this is regional and it's a different time and whatever, but who the fuck lets their 15 year old that isn't even pregnant yet get married? And who honestly expects that she won't get pregnant for 5 years? Sandy Kay got married young and brought forth some childses soon after. How did she not see that coming? And when I said a different time, it was like 1991, not 1836.

 

People who think that she won't get pregnant for 5 years are the types of people who think its better to get their daughter married so when she inevitably has sex, it's within a marriage, and thus totally ok and not an issue at all. 

[Nire]

Some articles pointed out a tweet from Leah about Jeremy being the best at co-parenting. Nothing but negativity when it comes to Cory.  She is obviously angry at Cory. I know a big part of it has to do with the custody issue, but Leah seemed so angry at Cory way before all that happened. It was as if she was just finding anything to throw at Cory and painting him in a bad light. Just like Kail.

 

Just an observation on my part.

 

I think Leah's feelings about her exes co-parenting abilities will fluctuate.  I remember like a year or two ago everyone was praising Leah and Cory for co-parenting so well.  I'm sure in time she won't be singing Jeremy's praises.

[truelovekiss]

Dawn almost acts like Leah's groupie or hanger-on instead of a parental figure. Like Dina Lohan or Kris Kardashian. Would not surprise me if she is getting pills for Leah. She seems shady like that.

This exactly! I just watched a show on Reelz last night about Lindsay Lohan, and oh my gosh, Dawn is a wannabe Momager, except Leah's only career is being mocked for being a backwoods floozy.

I think another reason why Dawn defends Leah so fiercely is that Leah is the only one in their family to get "famous" from doing exactly what the whole family does: have babies with reckless abandon, and no cares for their future. It's like validation that their lifestyle is a good one.

[GreatKazu]

I think Leah's feelings about her exes co-parenting abilities will fluctuate.  I remember like a year or two ago everyone was praising Leah and Cory for co-parenting so well.  I'm sure in time she won't be singing Jeremy's praises.

The good co-parenting came with a price. Leah was hoping there would be a reconciliation. When that didn't pan out, she was hoping to get more of his hard-earned money. Be nice and manipulate him into giving more money "for the girlses" clothes and whatnot. Now, we know why she needed that money. Right now she has Jermy within her sights. If she can play nice with him, he may give her extra money, too. That is why she tweeted that "sweet" comment for all to see. Just like she tried to play with the public with her phony tweets, she thinks she can do the same with Jermy. I don't see him falling for it, though.

 

 

Dawn is a wannabe Momager, except Leah's only career is being mocked for being a backwoods floozy.

Hee hee. I just posted a link in the Leah thread about some tweets by Leah, Jermy, and Mama Dawn. It seems Mama Dawn was implying that Leah might lose her MTV contract and she tweeted to Jermy if he was going to pay Leah to be a stay-at-home mom. It was done in jest, but I truly believe Mama Dawn will shit bricks the day Leah loses her MTV contract. I am now of the belief that Mama Dawn helped to push Leah into doing this season.

Edited September 4, 2015 by GreatKazu

[truelovekiss]

Ahem. She is going to therapy not rehab! /s

People who think that she won't get pregnant for 5 years are the types of people who think its better to get their daughter married so when she inevitably has sex, it's within a marriage, and thus totally ok and not an issue at all.

Right, of course! So then when she gets knocked up, she'll be a wed teenaged mother, instead of an unwed teen mom. Because babies always cry less, sleep more and don't make nearly as many messes when their parents are married.

Just to clarify, I've said before that I'm a believer in marriage. I know it's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to push it on anyone. But for as much as I don't understand why couples like Jo and Vee plan a baby without committing to marriage, I also don't understand why anyone would allow their teenager to make such a permanent decision as getting married to an older man at 16. But I guess I shouldn't waste my time trying to comprehend Messer logic.

[FairyDusted]

12.5 bathrooms? :)

Ha! If that were true that would take up every inch of her 4 bedroom home. Cool typo tho….Back to catching up.

[DangerousMinds]

With a 50% divorce rate, marriage is hardly a permanent decision for many.

[Granimal]

Mamma Pill's and Leah's convo had me chuckling. How quick did it go from - "I'm not an addict" to "I was on pills and did feel I was dependent on them" and then notice how mamma Dawn hedged her bets and said something to the effect of "If I thought you were a BIG time addict I would have called Corey myself!" Whichever way she said made me snort - yeah so you decided she was only a small time addict so best to cover it all up. And also what kind of mom see's her daughter struggling and then says the only worry she had with her going away was that people would say it was over drugs. Really? No concerns with the effects on the girls? The twins are being separated from their half sibling, they're all being separated from their mom. Mom is at minimum copping to a minor drug habit and major psyche issues but your concern is just what the gossip in the holler's going to be?

Sadly, that's a very real parental reaction for some parents. My brother went to my parent's to confess a problem with addiction before it got too serious, and did they get him help? No. Did they do anything? No. Just yelled at him about what a POS he was for using drugs and how they couldn't believe their son and what would the neighbors and family think? And made him call various family member's to "apologize" and confess to using drugs.

 

Leah's mother is a terrible mother. Of course she would care more about "what the neighbors thought" than about her children and grand children's mental illness or addiction. Just pretend that nothings wrong and it'll go away, right Mama Dawn?

[MissMel]

My family, too, Granimal. My sibling actually passed. No joke, I was at the end of the driveway, on the phone with my mother that lives on another continent, the day she was found dead by our father. My mom seriously asked me, "do the neighbors know?" Um, yes. The neighbors know. There's about 20 sheriff deputies here, crime scene tape, and the coroner's van here. They know. They were actually scared. It wasn't fun telling them there was nothing to worry about, my sister just went to sleep and never woke up. Sorry for the blemish on the picture perfect world you painted. Ugh.

[fliptopbox]

In a way I am kind of glad my family is full of crazy and addiction and all sorts of wild shit, cos that means even despite my own crazy and health stuff I'm still pretty normal by comparison. And my family is all pretty open about everything...except my dad who seems to forget I exist, so when I found out my grandmother had a stroke (via Facebook!) I called him and he was all "oh yeah, I WAS gonna tell you.." yeah sure. Just like he "forgot" to tell me when my aunt committed suicide. Again, thanks to Facebook.

[FairyDusted]

My family, too, Granimal. My sibling actually passed. No joke, I was at the end of the driveway, on the phone with my mother that lives on another continent, the day she was found dead by our father. My mom seriously asked me, "do the neighbors know?" Um, yes. The neighbors know. There's about 20 sheriff deputies here, crime scene tape, and the coroner's van here. They know. They were actually scared. It wasn't fun telling them there was nothing to worry about, my sister just went to sleep and never woke up. Sorry for the blemish on the picture perfect world you painted. Ugh.

I'm sorry to hear your story Miss Mel. This too happened to me. I recently walked her oldest son down the isle. In the past two weeks we lost two young people to suicide and it played out on Facebook. Fuck! SMDH. 

In a way I am kind of glad my family is full of crazy and addiction and all sorts of wild shit, cos that means even despite my own crazy and health stuff I'm still pretty normal by comparison. And my family is all pretty open about everything...except my dad who seems to forget I exist, so when I found out my grandmother had a stroke (via Facebook!) I called him and he was all "oh yeah, I WAS gonna tell you.." yeah sure. Just like he "forgot" to tell me when my aunt committed suicide. Again, thanks to Facebook.

I know Right! ?

[MissMel]

In a way I am kind of glad my family is full of crazy and addiction and all sorts of wild shit, cos that means even despite my own crazy and health stuff I'm still pretty normal by comparison. And my family is all pretty open about everything...except my dad who seems to forget I exist, so when I found out my grandmother had a stroke (via Facebook!) I called him and he was all "oh yeah, I WAS gonna tell you.." yeah sure. Just like he "forgot" to tell me when my aunt committed suicide. Again, thanks to Facebook.

No shit, right? It's like "at least I'm not THIS kind of messed up". And yeah, Facebook is a world of fun. My oldest son was at school one morning and texted me "I think uncle Jimmy is dead." Yep, sure enough. He had hanged himself that morning. Great way for the kids to find out.

Thank you, FairyDusted . I'm sorry for your current situation. It fucking sucks, for sure. Hugs to you.

[FairyDusted]

((((HUGS))) and much Fairydust to you MissMel! 

[Granimal]

My family, too, Granimal. My sibling actually passed. No joke, I was at the end of the driveway, on the phone with my mother that lives on another continent, the day she was found dead by our father. My mom seriously asked me, "do the neighbors know?" Um, yes. The neighbors know. There's about 20 sheriff deputies here, crime scene tape, and the coroner's van here. They know. They were actually scared. It wasn't fun telling them there was nothing to worry about, my sister just went to sleep and never woke up. Sorry for the blemish on the picture perfect world you painted. Ugh.

 

MissMel I am so sorry for you loss. More than words can describe. There's a certain class and generation that value appearances above all else. Yes, as social creatures we're prone to caring what others think about us, and this is good to some degree, but it can be taken way too far.

 

Parents- this is why you get your kids the help they need regardless of "what the neighbors think". Sending your kid to therapy or rehab is NOT enabling- its the opposite! Mama Darn- at this point your last worry should be about keeping Leah's problems a secret. You should be way more worried about getting your child and grandchildren the help they need.