A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[Guest]

There is this one guy at work who is attached to his work email and phone.  He literally can not comprehend that others do not volunteer their off time.  Occasional emergency.  OK, but if you are higher up than the people getting pulled into work you better thank them profusely.  But this guy doesn't limit it to emergencies.  And he's been know to call a half dozen people trying to find someone that has a personal phone number of a person not answering their work phone or email on a weekend fast enough.

He tried that once with me.  That was the last time.  I don't think that he liked my suggestion about bringing his boss (a VP) into a conference call about whether we would be making a call to the poor person he'd dragged into work on a weekend for at least a month in a row. 

[Petunia13]

On 2/11/2017 at 9:43 AM, AuntieL said:

 Speaking as a "boss" you never call out your people in front of others. I can't go to court and blame something on my secretary. I saw an attorney try to do that once , the look the judge gave him - he immediately backpedaled and said well I guess it's my fault. Because as the person in charge it is our responsibility, no one else's. To try to make himself look "in charge" by asking you in front of others makes him look like a jackass.

I totally agree with this 1000%. It's the difference between a leader and a "boss" IMHO. 

Recently a person in management at my store (not my supervisor, who is the store director, but a stock people manager) paged me over the intercom w an emergency. He was standing with a  merchandise vendor (a bread company) and repeated their minor request. And then said if I was doing my job they wouldn't have to ask in the first place and other company's have had complaints as well. 

I was livid and went to the store director the second he sat at his desk letting him know what happened and what I thought of his professionalism. 

He's actually really creepy and messes with me a lot. My department is a 2-3 person department I've been doing by myself off for months so nit pics are ridiculous. I have half a mind to transfer to a different store dicks like him would deserve that, but I've been informed by upper levels they would try to block it since they need me and I'm good. 

[ari333]

On ‎2‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 1:18 AM, Moose135 said:

"Sorry, it's not my turn to watch him."

Moose... get outta my head, you . :-)

[theredhead77]

Boss took a sick day Monday (and emailed me that he was taking a sick day). Great, now I know how to manage my time. He came in yesterday and late yesterday told me he would be at a customer this morning and tomorrow (Thurs) AM. He asked if that was OK with me (with some sarcasm). I just looked at him and said you do realize I was in a car accident, stressed, sore and needed help, when you didn't show up and wouldn't answer your phone, right?!

Friday we're having a "salsa mixer". Everyone brings in either chips, salsa or both and we just graze all day. Last year we all chipped a couple bucks in for a party size burrito. This year CF has a printed out Excel sheet with who is kicking in for it and is marking down yes, no, maybe (owes $$). I'm curious if she's going to issue wrist bands.

I mentioned before, our dept isn't that large. The culture of these things has always been kick in if you can, if you're short that week no biggie, kick in a couple extra bucks next time. I am going to ask the person who used to coordinate if he'll start coordinating again.

[bilgistic]

Salsa mixer! What a wild bunch.

I thought of you yesterday, @theredhead77, because we got surprise donuts for Valentine's Day!

In other exciting news, we now get to wear jeans every Friday instead of just the first Friday of the month. We still have to donate $5 to the nebulous company charity to wear jeans, though. Paying the company back $250 a year to wear jeans? No thanks. I'll stick with my Old Navy chinos.

Hawaiian shirts are optional.

[BookWoman56]

@bilgistic, you mean you would have to pay $5 a week to the charity to wear jeans every Friday? If so, WTF? The last place that I worked that tied casual Friday dress to charity used a less direct approach. If the percentage of employees who contributed to United Way got above a certain level, then casual Fridays were extended to everybody. But even then, it didn't amount to any $250 a year; I think the minimum yearly contribution was something like $52, which you could contribute at once or spread over a year's worth of paychecks. 

[backformore]

9 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

@bilgistic, you mean you would have to pay $5 a week to the charity to wear jeans every Friday? If so, WTF? The last place that I worked that tied casual Friday dress to charity used a less direct approach. If the percentage of employees who contributed to United Way got above a certain level, then casual Fridays were extended to everybody. But even then, it didn't amount to any $250 a year; I think the minimum yearly contribution was something like $52, which you could contribute at once or spread over a year's worth of paychecks. 

I worked at a place where they tried to give "incentives" for certain things.  (new management, trying out something that worked at a previous company)  One of the incentives announced at a staff meeting was that a department could  earn "the right to wear jeans to work for the week."  But then they specified that staff who met with clients could not get this "privilege". (of course not)   When they asked for feedback, one brave person who was not me, explained that a department whose main job was meeting with clients was not going to compete for a "prize" that they didn't care about.  AND that staff who didn't meet with clients were already wearing whatever they wanted at work!   It was a case of new management trying to change things without first understanding the workplace. 

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, backformore said:

When they asked for feedback, one brave person who was not me, explained that a department whose main job was meeting with clients was not going to compete for a "prize" that they didn't care about.  AND that staff who didn't meet with clients were already wearing whatever they wanted at work!   It was a case of new management trying to change things without first understanding the workplace. 

It's remarkable how a workplace environment can strip people of common sense.

At this point in my career I realize that I need to be in a place where people talk, people argue, people listen, and can sometimes feel a bit like a family. I can't thrive in a place where things are run in little kingdoms.  And even though I work for a $2 billion company, I found a place where I can thrive.  

For sure people do things at my job just like what you've described, and just as sure, somebody else will come along and point out it is stupid. (Possibly even using the word stupid, although cleaning it up a bit before confronting the actual person driving the stupidity.) Because it is our culture to stop and think, it takes less bravery around there to voice an opinion.  

Edited February 16, 2017 by JTMacc99

[theredhead77]

My last job did jeans every Friday. Once a year they held a fundraiser where you could "donate" $20 a week and wear jeans for the additional 4 days. But people who didn't donate still wore whatever they wanted (my idiotic former coworker) and it became an HR nightmare. They switched to jeans every day.

My current job does a fundraiser where you can donate $5 a day to wear jeans on a day of your choosing and you are issued a wrist band (think bar wrist bands) to prove you paid.
I think these things are beyond stupid because you can't claim the donation on your taxes.

[bilgistic]

Yes, we have to pay $5 (or one can pay more if one is feeling charitable, har har) to wear jeans. Now that it's every Friday, that's $5 a week...$250 a year. Jeans aren't that magical, damn. I'd rather have Starbucks every week. Or six months of car insurance. I've paid to wear jeans exactly once in my nearly three years of employ. And I think it's some charity fund of the company's, i.e., they are making interest off it while it sits there. They periodically make donations to Habitat for Humanity or whatever. 

I'm ready to quit. Like, I'm seriously considering doing it tomorrow, but my actual supervisor won't be there. Why tomorrow? Well, long story short, my asshole broker was an asshole again, and AGAIN blamed me for his inability to read his email. His bullshit cost me hours of work today, and I'll be eating shit tomorrow when I miss a deadline.

I was crying when I left, and a man in another department saw me. We went down the elevator together. That's always awkward fun.

Edited February 17, 2017 by bilgistic

[bilgistic]

16 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

@bilgistic, you mean you would have to pay $5 a week to the charity to wear jeans every Friday? If so, WTF? The last place that I worked that tied casual Friday dress to charity used a less direct approach. If the percentage of employees who contributed to United Way got above a certain level, then casual Fridays were extended to everybody. But even then, it didn't amount to any $250 a year; I think the minimum yearly contribution was something like $52, which you could contribute at once or spread over a year's worth of paychecks. 

I used to work at United Way (early 2000s). When you work at United Way, you have to donate to United Way. I shit you not. Whoever sent the donation reminder (it was drafted from one's paycheck, so there was a sign-up period) included a super-handy donation guide--"$X is the suggested 10%/15%/etc. (gross, not net!) of your pay that you should donate." It was shocking. I did something like $10 a check just to get them off my back, plus I didn't make that much to begin with. As the sign-up window began to close, they would send mass emails with the names of folks who hadn't yet signed up!

I always said they should just pay us however less they thought we should donate. Shady as hell.

[ari333]

43 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

Yes, we have to pay $5 (or one can pay more if one is feeling charitable, har har) to wear jeans. Now that it's every Friday, that's $5 a week...$250 a year. Jeans aren't that magical, damn. I'd rather have Starbucks every week. Or six months of car insurance. I've paid to wear jeans exactly once in my nearly three years of employ. And I think it's some charity fund of the company's, i.e., they are making interest off it while it sits there. They periodically make donations to Habitat for Humanity or whatever. 

I'm ready to quit. Like, I'm seriously considering doing it tomorrow, but my actual supervisor won't be there. Why tomorrow? Well, long story short, my asshole broker was an asshole again, and AGAIN blamed me for his inability to read his email. His bullshit cost me hours of work today, and I'll be eating shit tomorrow when I miss a deadline.

I was crying when I left, and a man in another department saw me. We went down the elevator together. That's always awkward fun.

Big hugs, Bilgistic And I love your screen name! KoQ is one of my all time favs. I'm an ass, but I wouldn't pay jack squat to wear any certain thing , and I'd give to a charity  I choose just because. But I'm an ass. so... :-)

Hee.I might pay NOT to  have to wear jeans.:-)

[ratgirlagogo]

2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I always said they should just pay us however less they thought we should donate. Shady as hell.

Indeed.   What a crazy work culture.  A lot of non-profits expect the development people to RAISE their own salary - but I never heard that they were supposed to PERSONALLY DONATE their own salary.  Let alone the rest of the staff. That is nuts.

Edited February 17, 2017 by ratgirlagogo

[Guest]

I don't know what is worse, being personally miserable at work or everyone around you being miserable.

Today wasn't one of my worst days.  It wasn't great.  But no day is particularly good anymore because everything is imploding.  Is there a super moon?

But damn, everyone around me was just depressed and overwhelmed all week.

It got to the point today that I went to the store and bought gift cards for my entire department and spent tonight writing thank you notes.

I can't believe I still have Friday to get through.  I need a vacation.

Getting a job that involves managing people was not a great idea.  I just can't help myself from personally taking on the frustrations of the people that work for /with me in addition to my own.  And my attempts to get the actual decision makers to recognize that they are ruining the company and lives is making me crazy and pissed off.

[backformore]

5 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I used to work at United Way (early 2000s). When you work at United Way, you have to donate to United Way. I shit you not.

Oh I believe it!  I worked for a non-profit clinic that received United Way money.  As employees, we received a donation form each year, and were told it was expected to donate to United Way.  Even if it was $2.  Only - it wasn't $2, it was $2 each paycheck.  I always thought it was ridiculous, employees had to donate to UW, so UW could donate back to the clinic.   Then one year, UW took the clinic off the list of organizations who got their money.  ( I don't recall why, but it was a bogus reason)  so we were no longer strong-armed to donate to them.   NO, we were then expected to donate directly to the clinic.   And I'm sorry - but when you work for a non-profit that serves low income people, you are ALREADY "donating"  by taking a lower paying job and working long hours.  to then have to "donate" back to the place that underpays you?  craziness.

[DeLurker]

I used to work for the state of Florida.  We were strong-armed to donate to UW from payroll deductions too so the department manager could proudly report they had 100% participation.  UW seems to have quite a racket going on with that.

[auntlada]

2 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

I used to work for the state of Florida.  We were strong-armed to donate to UW from payroll deductions too so the department manager could proudly report they had 100% participation.  UW seems to have quite a racket going on with that.

I am told our agency used to do that. The director kept track of who donated, and even if you weren't donating, you had to return the form. We no longer do that. Possibly someone told them they were not allowed to do that.

[backformore]

Right - that was the thing.  A form you were given to say how much you wished to donate - with no option for declining.   you had to write that out on the form.  If you didn't return the form, they kept hounding you for it.   They wanted 100%, so if even 1 person didn't donate, the CEO would be upset. (and KNOW who it was that kept them from 100%)

The thing is, there were other events and activities to donate your TIME,  but that wasn't enough.  they also wanted to deduct a "donation"  from your paycheck.

[auntlada]

Why do people not understand that if their department is creating a marketing piece, they should talk to the marketing department about before creating it?

[BookWoman56]

30 minutes ago, auntlada said:

Why do people not understand that if their department is creating a marketing piece, they should talk to the marketing department about before creating it?

Because you can't fix stupid.

[MargeGunderson]

9 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

Because you can't fix stupid.

@BookWoman56, those are words to live by. Saves a lot of frustration. 

My new(ish) coworker (one level senior but not my manager in any way) is an "external processor" meaning he wants to talk through every thought/decision/musing he has. I'm the only other direct team member so guess who gets to listen to him for hours every day. Also needs a lot of validation - I lose track of how many times a day I'm asked "you agree with me, right?" Answering no does not solve the problem. For the last week I've heard almost every day about the one document that he is working on for a single project and how busy he is with it. At this point (because he's been working on it for months) all he's really doing is noodling with it. Meanwhile I'm managing multiple projects (not just documents) and handling everything else, including stuff he should also be doing. I'm losing my patience with the situation. 

[riley702]

14 hours ago, auntlada said:

I am told our agency used to do that. The director kept track of who donated, and even if you weren't donating, you had to return the form. We no longer do that. Possibly someone told them they were not allowed to do that.

Ack! The hospital where I work used to do that and I refused to do it. "If you don't hear back from me, I'm not donating." I don't care about a fricking pizza I won't eat anyway. Not to mention the UW was originally created to keep a zillion charities from bugging you and since that's no longer true, I see no need for them. JMO, of course.

[auntlada]

I don't have a problem with the United Way and participate in our agency's campaign as a member of the committee. I spend a lot of time on it and buy things for the silent auction and food events. I figure that is my donation. I have other causes I also support, and I don't have lots of disposable income. But some people get mad if every doesn't donate, and they don't understand why people don't bid way more than something is worth in the silent auction because "it's a donation." I've tried to explain that people still want a good deal and don't want crap they won't use, but all I hear is, "It's a donation." Then let them donate, and we won't plan any events. Except people won't just donate because they want value. Some people don't seem to understand human motivation (or capitalism or supply and demand).

[BookWoman56]

I did contract work for a particular financial services company several times over the course of 10 years or so. The last time I was there, they offered me a regular FTE position at a good salary, and I turned them down largely because while I liked my colleagues in our area, I really did not care for the corporate culture overall. Typical of that corporate culture was the response when an employee responded to an article about the UW annual campaign. She noted that her husband had been unemployed for 6 months or so, she herself was in a job that paid only slightly above minimum wage, and that they also had a small child, so she wouldn't be donating that year. Fundamentally, it was taking her entire salary to make sure they didn't lose their house, had food on the table, and could pay their utilities. And you would have thought she had announced she was killing puppies and kittens. People called her out as possibly being the reason they might not get to do casual Fridays all year. They attacked her money management skills and said she should have had a cash reserve equal to 6 months of living expenses. (Which, while that is a good practice, is a lot easier said than done when you are a young family making very low wages.) There were a few notes that were compassionate, but the vast majority of replies to her comment were both selfish and mean-spirited. It was sort of like, how dare your personal circumstances make it so you don't contribute to UW so we can reach our company goal of ##% participation. Also, there was zero action by any moderator to step in and stop the poor-shaming that was going on. While I've moved on to a better job at a different company, that event still reminds me of how overboard the UW campaigns can get and why I dislike them. I'll contribute what I can to UW or other organizations whose goals I support, but when you start trying to make me feel guilty about my lack/level of contribution and you have no idea what my personal circumstances are, you have lost me as a supporter.

[theredhead77]

@BookWoman56 that's terrible!

I have no issue with companies running campaigns, if they are truly 100% optional. If they were mandatory and I despised my job, or truly couldn't afford it, I wouldn't donate, just to fuck with everyone else.

At my last job, the company would assign a group of 2-3 departments an  "adopt a family" at Christmas. The lists were pretty basic, clothes, toys / sports equipment, nothing extravagant. I'll never forget the old curmudgeon in a different dept bitching up a storm, loud enough for the whole floor to hear, that one family asked for a DVD player. This was when DVD players could be found for $25-$30 during holiday sales.  After all he didn't have one, a VCR was good enough for his family how dare this poor family ask for one. Do the time math. By the time basic DVD players dropped to $25-$30 VCRs were nearly extinct. I rarely donated to those campaigns because my take-home pay was barely keeping me afloat and while I was certainly doing better than the family assigned to us, it was a true burden to donate.

Current job does things like Toys for Tots or a backpack drive for Operation Homefront. They send an email or two and set up boxes in the lobby. No pressure, no tracking. Perfect.

[janestclair]

I have a meeting next week to talk to the superintendent about my supervisor and our vote of no confidence. She did not schedule meetings with everyone.  I guess it's good that she's taking our concerns seriously enough to want to meet with people, but I'd really rather just write it all out so I can be sure I don't miss any of the millions of heinous things she's pulled since she's been in charge.   She's already met with some of my coworkers, and I'm the last one she has to meet with.  The union president basically told me that the supervisor is on the ropes from everything the superintendent has heard so far, and that it's entirely likely that what I have to say could be the knockout punch. So much pressure.  

[Splishy Splashy]

Wow and Wow. I guess I am not in the real world when it comes to jobs as I basically have only had two jobs my entire life. One is a Summer job as a Life Guard which I love and the head Guard at the pool I worked last year who was only 21 was really awesome. Then now I work PT teaching little kids how to swim at a Swim Club and I also love that job and my boss is also very awesome. I guess I have a lot of learning to do of what the real world jobs are, but I guess that is what going to college is all about and figuring out what I really want to do with my life and career. For those having difficulty with piss poor management I really hope it gets better for you all soon.

[ABay]

@janestclair, write it all down and take it with you. Do you have a 3 ring binder you can fill? One of my colleagues brought a CHRO (commission on human rights...basically a discrimination case) against our resident assholes and she actually had a massive pile of printed out emails, no padding needed. 

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, janestclair said:

I'd really rather just write it all out so I can be sure I don't miss any of the millions of heinous things she's pulled since she's been in charge.

Go ahead and do that; there is nothing wrong with putting it down in a memo.  In fact, it illustrates the serious nature of the issue.

[MargeGunderson]

@janestclair, by all means write it down if it helps you remember everything you want to raise. One piece of advice (from someone who has had to deal formally with a few poor employees): examples are great, but what is their impact? For example, if the person calls in sick every other week, comes in late a lot, is not reachable when they are supposed to be, then that person is unreliable. Frame the problem and support with examples. That can help you to focus on the problem not just the laundry list of incidents. 

If you have time, check out http://Askamanager.org There's lots of good advice, and you can search the archives. 

Edited February 19, 2017 by MargeGunderson

[theredhead77]

4 hours ago, janestclair said:

I have a meeting next week to talk to the superintendent about my supervisor and our vote of no confidence. She did not schedule meetings with everyone.  I guess it's good that she's taking our concerns seriously enough to want to meet with people, but I'd really rather just write it all out so I can be sure I don't miss any of the millions of heinous things she's pulled since she's been in charge.   She's already met with some of my coworkers, and I'm the last one she has to meet with.  The union president basically told me that the supervisor is on the ropes from everything the superintendent has heard so far, and that it's entirely likely that what I have to say could be the knockout punch. So much pressure.  

Write it all out anyway and bring a bullet point summary to your meeting so you don't forget anything. Be sure to write it as if other eyes will see it though, you never know if they will want you to turn it in.

[janestclair]

8 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Write it all out anyway and bring a bullet point summary to your meeting so you don't forget anything. Be sure to write it as if other eyes will see it though, you never know if they will want you to turn it in.

That's the part that worries me about writing it down.  If they ask me to turn it in, and then my supervisor gets this job anyway, and sees it, she'll be vindictive and retaliatory.  Because that's what she does.  One coworker was forced to teach a class he did not want (instead of a course for which he was uniquely equipped, and that she taught instead despite knowing jack all about the subject) and another veteran was forced to give up his room and taught for a year on a cart, going from room to room. I was planning on making that one of my points anyhow, so I suppose if they ask for it I can cite that concern.   

[bilgistic]

I don't mean to divert the conversation, but I'm just now feeling up to telling the story of what happened Friday. I mentioned on Thursday that I was ready to quit for real.

I psyched myself up Friday morning and walked in, dropped my stuff on my desk, and told my "boss" to meet me in on of the small breakout rooms. I didn't even take off my jacket.

With shaking hands, I told him, "I'm done here. I came in to tell you as a courtesy to you. My supervisor isn't here today, so I'm not sure how closing everything out is going to work, but I can't do this anymore."

We proceeded to talk/argue for the next HOUR, which was agony. He asked me to give him a month to change/improve things, as we are hiring a fourth team member. One of my issues of his disrespect was that I was not included in the interviews. Of course I didn't think I would be making the decision, but to meet a person I'd be working closely with daily? I should've been involved. I laid it ALLLLL out--how he treats me, his power trips to make me look bad, his micromanaging, etc. It was UGLY, and I bawled, which I hate about me, but that's where I go when I'm frustrated and angry.

I feel like a sucker for agreeing to give him a month, and I said so. I told him I need a $10K salary raise, a title bump and to work from home one day a week. He fought me on that last point. At one point during our conversation, he was on his phone. Tell me again how you're going to change?

I am DEEPLY depressed, and need to be out of the situation. I can't be without health insurance, obviously. I see my psychiatrist Thursday, and we're going to have to make some changes. I slept all day yesterday, and just finally made myself get out at about 3pm today. Last weekend was the same thing.

Tomorrow is a company holiday, but I have to work. I'm working from home. I'm in protection mode now, and looking for the escape hatch.

Had to unload all of that. Back to you, @janestclair!

[theredhead77]

13 minutes ago, janestclair said:

That's the part that worries me about writing it down.  If they ask me to turn it in, and then my supervisor gets this job anyway, and sees it, she'll be vindictive and retaliatory.  Because that's what she does. 

Bullet point it into code., things that will jot your memory and put it on an index card or something non traditional. That way if they ask you to turn it in you can say these notes won't really make sense out of context, it was just to help me remember. I'd rather not submit them since, as you know, I have concerns about supervisor and don't want her to see them.

[ABay]

@bilgistic, that took ovaries and you are awesome!

[theredhead77]

6 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I feel like a sucker for agreeing to give him a month, and I said so. I told him I need a $10K salary raise, a title bump and to work from home one day a week. He fought me on that last point. At one point during our conversation, he was on his phone. Tell me again how you're going to change?

I am DEEPLY depressed, and need to be out of the situation.

You may have agreed to it, but if things don't start changing quickly you are under no obligation to stick it out. It may haunt you later (will be really hard to get unemployment, impact future jobs) but unless you signed something saying you'd stay, do what is best for you.

[bilgistic]

I didn't sign anything. I asked him for guarantees of my requests in writing, and he made up reasons as to why that couldn't happen (big company, it's currently hard to make the offer for the possible new hire, blah blah). I told him he gets plenty of things to happen for HIM. I was ruthless. I don't know how I did it. Anytime he started with an excuse, I would say, "No!"

I will continue my job search. I really need to take leave for a while and get to a healthier place, but maybe I can take a couple weeks between ending this job and starting a new one.

A not insignificant part of me just wants to say "fuck it" and quit anyway, but I'm better than that. I will go through the next month, he will prove to have not changed, and I will leave knowing he is screwed without me. I somehow knew he wouldn't "let" me leave. I feel like an abuse victim, though, not someone in demand because of my skills.

I'm also going to recommend to our managing director that everyone who supervises people gets management training.

[theredhead77]

@bilgistic do what you gotta do but never forget that YOU have the control in the situation.

Also, don't be shocked if they terminate your employment (even using this blow up as a reason) before the 30 days is up. While it would be a final blow to you, it would be better in terms of collecting unemployment.

[theredhead77]

Friday is my treat day! Should I bring:

Donuts
Bagels
Muffins (from Costco)
Other (no more than $15 to feed 20 people)

[auntlada]

I vote doughnuts. I want the story about what happens.

[bilgistic]

54 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

@bilgistic do what you gotta do but never forget that YOU have the control in the situation.

Also, don't be shocked if they terminate your employment (even using this blow up as a reason) before the 30 days is up. While it would be a final blow to you, it would be better in terms of collecting unemployment.

I fully anticipate it. I plan to have a discussion with our managing director on Tuesday. My review was stellar in January, so there's no documented reason to terminate me. While I live in a "work-at-will" state, my company is huge, and rarely does one get fired at the drop of a hat. There are procedures and escalations. It has been known for years how my "boss's" behavior affects others, but because he's a "producer" (brings in money) and plays politics, he's kept on, celebrated, rewarded, etc.

I regret not keeping documentation about his behavior/things he's said to me/the environment. That would've been very important in making an argument to the higher-ups for change. So, @janestclair, I echo others saying to document everything. It's beyond sad that toxic people make worklife a battlefield so that you have to hide your proverbial weapons on your person, readying yourself for the next strike.

[riley702]

((((bilgistic))))

[backformore]

8 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Friday is my treat day! Should I bring:

Donuts
Bagels
Muffins (from Costco)
Other (no more than $15 to feed 20 people)

LOTS of donuts.  With sprinkles and multi-flavored frostings.  Like,  go to Krispy Kreme or dunkin donuts and get one of each.

[BookWoman56]

@bilgistic, glad to hear you stood up for yourself. Even though I don't expect your faux boss to change, based on his previous actions, at least you made him aware that the way he has treated you is not okay. However, even though you presumably have a month before anything major happens, you might take some steps just in case the company does do something like terminate your employment before the end of that month. For starters, make sure you have paper copies of your most recent performance appraisal. Ditto with contact info for anyone in the company you might need to get in touch with later. Review the projects you've worked on for the past year, write up one-paragraph summaries of them, and attach any copies you have of positive feedback on those projects. IOW, gather your ammunition in case the company decides to fire you and says it was for cause; make sure you take those copies of stuff home so you have access to them no matter what happens. Work on the assumption that during the next 30 days, at any point someone from HR may show up at your desk with no warning, tell you to put your personal belongings in a small box, and escort you from the building while confiscating your building badge/employee ID. 

You should also go to HR to find out if you are required to give 2 weeks' notice in order to retain any vacation pay that might be due to you, or if there are consequences of not giving formal notice, such as them marking you as a "Do Not Rehire" person. Obviously, do what you need to do, but be aware of what your options are and the consequences. I can't help but feel that your decision to leave is the right one, because that place has been a toxic environment for you for a long time. Life is too damn short to spend 8+ hours a day miserable and your free time dreading having to go back into the hellhole.

[JTMacc99]

12 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Friday is my treat day! Should I bring:

Donuts
Bagels
Muffins (from Costco)
Other (no more than $15 to feed 20 people)

19 donuts and one packet of oatmeal and a thermos of hot water. 

[Petunia13]

When someone at works is passive aggressive: 

[ari333]

There were times when I was having a fine, regular day, feeling well etc. There's was one woman who would rush up to me with a look of concern and gush, "omg, are you ok?"   Sometimes she'd add, "You look sick." The other one was "You look so tired." I WAS ok. I was not sick and I was not tired, but you see point.

[Splishy Splashy]

12 minutes ago, ari333 said:

There were times when I was having a fine, regular day, feeling well etc. There's was one woman who would rush up to me with a look of concern and gush, "omg, are you ok?"   Sometimes she'd add, "You look sick." The other one was "You look so tired." I WAS ok. I was not sick and I was not tired, but you see point.

I would respond , Yeah I am Sick and Tired of you asking me these dumb ass questions. :)

[ari333]

1 hour ago, Splishy Splashy said:

I would respond , Yeah I am Sick and Tired of you asking me these dumb ass questions. :)

Ok. That one is a keeper :-) Speaking of snappy clever comebacks -

Back before I lived other places and lost my southern accent, I was at a snooty office party.  This snooty party  reminded me of that bit from some southern comedian where he said, "where are ya'll FROM?" (trying to be friendly)

The woman in his story said, "We're FROM where we do not end sentences with a preposition."

So he said "OK, where are ya'll from.?... BITCH" :-)

(don't know why the letters went all italics)

Edited February 20, 2017 by ari333

[Guest]

@bilgistic I'd suggest taking all the advice you are getting just in case your decision to leave goes from voluntary to involuntary.

I think there is a good chance that if they are hiring then your boss is trying to get you to stay long enough to hire two people instead of one person.  Its also possible that this additional hire is a last minute fabrication so they can get you to train your replacement.