A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[potatoradio]

Oh, the joys of coworkers, bosses, office etiquette violations, passive-aggressive sticky notes, customers/clients from h*ll...cut and share a nice piece of office birthday cake snark.

 

(Or, I didn't want to monopolize the pet peeves thread with work rants).

 

So, one of my coworkers decided to bring in a putter, golf balls, and one of those return thingies that kicks the ball out when you get it in the slot. Fine, whatever, knock yourself out. Except...wait a second...there's only one long section of our area that really works for putting and it's...oh bloody, crikey h*ll...right outside my office. So now, when he decides he wants to have some fun and chat people up, he's right outside my door.

 

I'm an introvert and a crab (mood, not the zodiac sign) and I already get grief for keeping my door partially shut because I don't seem approachable. But now I'm supposed to keep it open and listen to him try to engage people in a great game of "look at me! I'm the master of water cooler talk!"?

 

AND...I never knew this, but the slight scraping sound the golf ball makes when hit really, really drives me to distraction. Click. Click. Click. GAH!!!!

 

He has been out putting today five times. Not just one or two balls, but at least ten minutes of roping people into joining him. He also finds this a convenient excuse for coming out of his office when Big Boss Daddy comes down to talk to someone else. As soon as Big Boss Daddy came down, out he came with his putter. Did Big Boss Daddy need to talk to him? Nope. But hey, never miss a chance to brownnose, eh?

 

So, during one particularly rousing game, the ball kept thunking against the wall, right by my door. Not a little tap. A big old THUNK. Much guffawing. THUNK. THUNK. Click. Click.

 

Team lead comes out of her office and asks what all the commotion is.

 

"Wow! Look at all of this..." she says. Not, "Will you please knock it the f*ck off?" Or "A little fun is fine, but let's keep it to a dull roar, children."

 

Well, screw that. I'm not going to go out there and look like a spoilsport. I will, however, play passive-aggressive. So, I turned up Pandora (set to Alice Cooper radio) as loudly as I needed to so that I didn't hear anything else.

 

I guess it was kinda loud because all of a sudden my door was shut.

 

Gee, I'm so sorry my music interrupted your game of putt putt. Cos I cannot THINK and do my WORK with golf balls THUNKING against the wall and your inane water cooler BS going on and on and on....

 

Sigh. I'm hoping he gets bored with his new game and another shiny object distracts him soon. Or, I don't know, maybe someone could give him some work to do??

 

But I'm down for a passive-aggressive power game any time. Taking suggestions for the next Pandora radio station to blast...

 

 

 

[auntlada]

What did they play for Noriega?

I would have thought it would be bad for the big boss to see this guy wasting time so much, but I still think people ought to be rewarded for actually working, not talking to everyone. (Another introvert here.)

[Proclone]

I truly understand that having a loved one in the hospital is a very stressful time.  I sympathized greatly, that being said it doesn't really give you and excuse to be a total jerk to all the staff when they simply ask you follow the rules of the unit.  No, the rules aren't "stupid" and they're not capricious.  There is a method to our madness so, when you bring your very small child onto a until that very clearly had a sign on the door that said, "No children under 12," yes, I will make you take the child off the unit.  Because guess what? That rule is to keep both your child and our patients safe.  We have a lot of patients with some very nasty bugs, and children don't have an adults' immune system and also kids carry germs themselves and some of our patients are immune compromised.  Not to mention this is a Critical Care floor.  Many of our patients have about 47 tubes sticking out of them, I don't know your child in particular, but there is a very real chance of the kid being traumatized by seeing a loved one (or even happening to see a patient in another room) that way.

 

If an exception was made (and we're not unreasonable-exceptions to all the rules can be made on a case by case basis), please for the love of God, don't let your little darling sit or play on the floor.  Do you have any idea what's been on that floor?  I do and I don't even wear the shoes I wear to work into my house without spraying them with disinfectant.  Even then, they live by the door.  I won't go into detail, but trust me when I say, you never want to be on a hospital floor.

 

Yes, visiting hours don't start until mid-morning.  The doctors do rounds in the morning and having visitors on the floor make it more chaotic and raises the chance of a patient's information being overheard by someone who isn't involved in their care.  Once again exception can be made in certain cases.  You do not need to scream at me that the patient is your mother and you should be able to see them whenever you want.

 

In that vein, yes, the unit is a locked one.  You need to be buzzed onto the unit.  There is a very large sign above the door bell and on the doors themselves telling you to please ring the bell and someone will be with you shortly.  DO NOT bang on the doors.  First of all, they actually won't open if you're standing too close to them so you're only delaying getting in.  And secondly, you are disturbing the patient in the room closest to the doors.  How would you like it if loved one was disturbed by someone banging to get in.

 

There also is very obviously a camera next to the door bell, stand in front of it please.  I refuse to let the invisible man on to the unit.  On the other hand it is not a peep hole, you can get close as you want you still won't be able to see me.  The only thing you will accomplish is freaking me out when I just see a giant eyeball on the monitor.  Also don't "tailgate" your way on to the unit.  Don't skulk outside the unit and wait for a staff member to open the doors for some reason. You will be stopped.  Every visitor needs to be accounted for.  We are a busy trauma center, we get victims of crimes.  We have to know which patient you are visiting.  It is for the safety of both our patients and staff.

 

Just in general, don't be a jerk to the staff.  Like I said I understand how stressful it is to have someone in the hospital both from professional and personal experience, but the staff is only trying to help your loved one.  I won't lie and say that there are no bad nurses or other staff, but in my experience they are few and far between.  So when you're screaming at us, you're probably screaming at someone who's been on their feet for 12 hours, and hasn't been able to pee in eight of them, just so your mother/father/sister/brother's medication wouldn't be late.

 

Sorry that wound up being longer then I meant it to.  I suppose I just needed to get it off my chest in honor of me hopefully being promoted (assuming I pass my state boards next week).  I'm currently a unit secretary and sometime I feel more like a bouncer.

[bosawks]

Why won't HR let me grab one of these young whippersnappers around the neck and scream at them, "It's called work for a reason, if it was called leisure I wouldn't have to write you up all the goddamn time!"

It's not like I'm going to shove their phone down their throat like I really want.........

Some of these colleges really need to return money to these kids parents for services not rendered.

Edited July 24, 2015 by bosawks

[Sandman87]

I wish this thread had been here when I worked at some of my old jobs. I could have ranted about so many things.

Many of our patients have about 47 tubes sticking out of them, I don't know your child in particular, but there is a very real chance of the kid being traumatized by seeing a loved one (or even happening to see a patient in another room) that way.

Not to mention that some kids will see a dangling tube or wire and experience a compelling need to yank on it.

[magicdog]

I like the idea for the thread - but maybe we could change the thread title to:  On The Job:  Co-workers or Co-irkers?

[DeLurker]

Co-jerkers?

 

Though that sounds a bit unseemly.

[Sandman87]

I've always preferred to call them cow-orkers. I like to imagine that "orking" livestock is illegal in most states.

[DeLurker]

Times they are achanging - gay marriage and legalized use of marijuana in some states.  Orking can't be far behind!

[tribeca]

    I have a co-worker who is 22 thinks she is amazing because she can be intimidating.  Thing is a lot of times she is right about stuff but her delivery is awful.  She could teach/train new people but everyone seems like they would rather not ask her any questions.

   She is also great for passing off her work on to others (mostly me).   Takes long breaks.  Hides in closet to text (no camera's in there).  This co-worker is the first to report on someone else doing something wrong and our boss loves her.

[backformore]

Proclone -   I was a unit secretary!   I worked the 2nd shift - 3- 11 PM.  It's how I paid for my expenses when I was in college.  (a really long time ago)

 

That said, I never understand when an adult is in the hospital, why families want to have prolonged visits.   Like - HOURS of sitting around watching TV with the patient.  When my mom was in the hospital, i'd show up, bring her a little something - lotion, socks, a card, chat a bit, and leave.   My sisters would want to stay all day, or take shifts, so when one of us leaves, the next one comes on.  WHY?  

I've been a patient in the hospital, and while I appreciate seeing close family, I also appreciated being able to read, nap, rest, and not feel I have to entertain or chat with anyone..   Show up, wish me well, and let me recover, please! 

 

My current work pet peeve is young co-workers (age 25-32)  who say they simply CANNOT afford to pay on their student loans.  We all went to college and grad school, and yeah, it's expensive.   But -   You get a Starbucks coffee on your way to work, go out mid-morning to get another (there is an office coffee pot, but they can't drink that stuff), they are always shopping for clothes, shoes, going to concerts, flying to other towns to see friends, getting tattoos, spray tans, mani-pedis, etc.  They never bring lunch, they get take-out every day.     I swear, they could make double the student loan payment each month just by cutting out some of the "extras".  

 

I have a hard time when a woman carries a $700 purse, wears $500 shoes, and bitches about how the salaries we get paid because she can't afford her  student loan payment.    I guess I had a lot of years where I did without all that stuff, and still do.  

Though I love to go to starbucks and get a $4 latte, I consider it a TREAT, like once a month.   Not twice daily. 

[magicdog]

I never understand when an adult is in the hospital, why families want to have prolonged visits.   Like - HOURS of sitting around watching TV with the patient.  When my mom was in the hospital, i'd show up, bring her a little something - lotion, socks, a card, chat a bit, and leave.   My sisters would want to stay all day, or take shifts, so when one of us leaves, the next one comes on.  WHY? 

 

 

There are a lot of reasons, but in my family, it was more than a matter "entertaining",  Since not all hospital rooms are as clean as they could be, it wasn't uncommon for relatives to clean the room themselves from top to bottom - bleach and all.  Right down to the bed frame (lots of germs hiding there from the last patient) and remote.  They also took shifts to make sure the patient would get proper treatment - especially on weekends when the staff is much lighter.   My mom, whenever she was hospitalized couldn't even get a sponge bath on weekends, so my dad, sister, niece and myself all took turns making sure she was clean.   When my niece was little, she used to cuddle up with my mom in bed to watch TV.  Plus, it's good to have people you know and love with you - making sure no one takes advantage of you when you're in a vulnerable position. 

[DeLurker]

It also humanizes you to the hospital staff - there's people interacting with you and asking questions of them about how you are doing.  Especially important if you are in for a longer stay.

 

Sometimes the patient isn't in a position to humanize themselves - they might be so out of it that the hospital staff only sees the medical condition.

 

For the staff, it also helps to have the family in the room with the patient.  They might note a problem developing or some progress that might go unnoticed unless it happened when they were in the room.  Plus, keeping them calm.

 

I was hospitalized for 7 weeks in 2007, most of the time I don't remember (memory is wiped out).  My family got there ASAP and someone was with me as much as possible.  They knew when I was working to get the breathing tube out of my throat (which I did repeatedly despite having to be restrained for just that reason), when I regained consciousness, when my brain started to kick in, ...they also were able to reassure me that the treatments and medicines I was given were needed because despite being out of it, I was still a prickly patient who managed to question everything and refused to take a lot of medicines (most painkillers) .   There was still part of my brain working on survival mode and that part of me is apparently a gigantic pain in the ass.  For a while, they had to assign someone to literally stay in the room with me during the night because I was prone to taking out IVs and trying to take myself out of the hospital (despite not being able to walk or think straight).

[GHScorpiosRule]

I wish this thread had been here when I worked at some of my old jobs. I could have ranted about so many things.

Oh me too! Also, how did I miss this thread? I should have posted my rant of yesterday in peeves over here! Guess what? I will repost! Because I am that frustrated and feel like yanking what little hair that has started to grow back on my head off!

 

I have a HUUUUGE peeve, which I have been holding inside me and letting it fester inside me, but today was the last straw. I have to vent my spleen, as it were.

First, it's not all lawyers, just the new one my firm hired. I like lawyers. I've worked with a number of them who aren't as idiotic, superior or just plain stupid as the one I'm about to use as an example.

So, as I said, new lawyer joined the firm a few months ago. She used to be partner in her own little firm which she left, or it dissolved or whatever.  Our firm is small. I am the only paralegal. So I'm also the office manager (bleah!), which means I do the billing, pay our vendors, and am also HR.  And I've been here almost five years, so here goes:

I am not new lawyer's personal secretary. It is not my job to constantly go through my emails to find the emails I fucking SENT to HER that include codes for the copier, her log in credentials for teleconferencing, etc., each time she has to use the copier or makes a conference call. The first couple of times, I said, "Well I emailed them to you when I got them."  And her response is "I don't care. That was so long ago, and I don't feel like looking for it" or the more used "No you didn't, I don't remember getting it."  Or when she tells me she knows "everything" about file storage or how a program for electronic files work, only for her to delete ALL the documents I'd uploaded, and then say to me "I've never used this before", making herself a liar. or stupid. So I tell her, I'll do the uploading; you just email me the documents.

Or how she didn't know why I needed her passport/SSN card when completing an I-9 Form. And refused to provide it. I had to go to my boss and tell him. I eventually got the passport, since she was never issued a SSN card, she says.

I can't tell you guys, that I am starting to wish she would stay at home and just work from there, so I can do my job, because there are four other lawyers that I support, who don't give me such hassles. And everything that is IT related? I tell her to call our IT guy. Her response? "I don't want to bother him."  My response?

"That's what he's there for. I am not IT. I don't know the intricacies of [insert tech issue]. That's a conversation you need to have with IT guy. Do you want me to call him for you?"

And she loses the fob keys to the office and parking garage and blames me as if it were my fault. And how soon can I get a new one? Like tomorrow? I tell her she has to wait. I have to report it, and then the company will issue a new one.

I have printed, emailed, forwarded (multiple times) the crap she needs and she doesn't make a note of it, I don't know HOW many times, and still she comes to me when I'm working on something, demanding I give it to her. And maybe it would be a good idea if I kept a note of it, since I didn't provide it within one second this morning, while she's standing over my shoulder, while I am searching my fucking emails for said shit.  And yes, I realize that was a run-on sentence.

And I can't go to my boss, because I know what he'll say. God, I need to get out of here and get another job at a larger firm. My boss doesn't pay me enough to put up with this and his shit.

I don't know if that helped.

 

And today? I email everyone the updated copier codes and I get an email from LawyerwhoknowsEverythingbutDoesn't, that she still isn't able to print to that copier and could I please have tech from copier company do it when she's out next week?

 

First, this woman is impossible to work with on anything that is not work related; meaning if it's a brief she needs to draft, she's good at writing it; but has no patience or understanding of how things work, or what she needs to do for us to help her to get them to work.

 

She complained to me how the tech was stupid and "made her lose her work" the last time they tried to remote in and link her laptop to the copier, which would enable her to enter the client codes. No, he wasn't. She just refused to listen to what he was saying. I was there, I heard her clear across the hall, interrupting, and yelling at him.  She has Surface Pro (don't ask me what that is, I'm a techno turd), so it makes it a bit challenging. What I suspect happened was, the first time, the tech was trying to install new drivers.

 

Anyway, I've told her before and clearly she only hears what she wants to hear, that she needs to be in the office and her laptop on when they remote in.  When I told her I had the guy on the phone today, she said, she didn't have time; she had to finish this work, and didn't want them to "take forever" to get her set up. I told her, in a calm, soft voice, that no, she needed to be in the office, and that it wouldn't take that long. And if she could shut down her work. Grumble, grumble, but she did it.  And the first thing she says to the guy "The last guy who tried to do this, messed up and clearly didn't know what he was doing." Right. Except not. I was there. Something happened, and Miss Intelligent accidentally lost her own work and told the guy she couldn't do this, and hung up on him. The woman has ten million documents and windows open at the same time, and refuses to listen.

 

The silver lining is, that she the guy who remoted in today, is one of my guys (I call them that because there are two who I always end up talking and working with who are very good at what they do), and he was able to satisfy Her Specialness connect her laptop to the copier.

 

Sorry about the long rant. I guess I'm just so used to working with competent folks, that when an arrogant one, who claims to know how to do everything, when that's clearly not the case, and insists on arguing with me when I'm trying to explain, or cuts me off, that what little patience I have left just disappears.  I mean even my other attorneys who don't know, don't treat me like I'm their personal slave and have to drop everything and do everything for them.

 

So glad she will be out next week. That means I don't have to listen to her annoying, pedantic, whiny voice.

 

Boy, am I feeling pissy, petty and bitchy today.

Edited August 5, 2015 by GHScorpiosRule

[Qoass]

GHSR, when I read your post in Pet Peeves I was sorely tempted to introduce you to this thread.  Glad you found it.

[bilgistic]

My boss is such an asshole. He basically tried to make me feel like shit today because I'm not superhuman, you know, like him.

Readers of other threads know that I went on vacation for a week for the first time in five years (I've been at the company 14 months). When I returned, I developed a reaction to the sun exposure that I'd had. I got a violent rash, and went to urgent care, and was prescribed steroids. I was miserable. I couldn't sleep, couldn't stand anything touching my skin and itched like nothing I'd ever felt before, and I had horrible eczema as a child. I missed half a day of work. I still worked 40 hours for the week.

On Friday, I went with my boss and coworker to lunch via trolley ride, but missed the first step of the trolley and sprained everything along the top of my foot. The guys still got on the trolley. We still went to lunch despite my hardly walking. I hobbled the four blocks back from the trolley stop to the office afterward while they walked several paces ahead of me. No "Do you want help? A cab?" Nothing.

I went to urgent care on Sunday bevause my foot was still swollen and painful and walking was still difficult. I called my boss crying afterward and left a message that my foot wasn't broken, but I needed to stay off of it. I was given hydrocodone for my pain. Yes, really. Advil wasn't touching it. Boss texted asking if I wanted him to bring me my computer from the office Monday morning.

I worked a full day from home Monday and tried to on Tuesday. The meds made me sleepy Tuesday (and today), so I worked only 5.5 hours Tuesday. I went into the office at about noon today, still swollen and hobbling, with boss's threats in email and text hanging over me.

Text:

"I'm out in meetings for a while but we are going to have to sit down and talk this afternoon when I am back. I know your foot hurts but you are missing way too much work for a hurt ankle. We rely on you as a team and you are letting me down."

I "missed" exactly 3.5 hours of work at that point. I came in today and worked until 8pm--eight hours. I'm positive I will have at least 40 hours by the end of the week.

I met with him and had the HR rep meet with us. Stupid me thought she would stand up for me, as she sees my time sheet weekly and that I put in over 40 hours. She was impartial, which I do understand, but she could have pointed out that he was being a little over the top.

Since it's always a contest with my boss, he recalled a time when he "nearly had his leg ripped off" but still came to work on time, etc., with crutches. I'm getting hell because I didn't accept crutches from urgent care. Because it's up to a consensus of "everybody" he talked to how I should manage my pain and mobility.

I can't win. If I'm out sick with a blinding migraine, I should be working. If I try to work when I can't half walk, I should be taking sick leave. What the hell?

We have so much work to do but we can't get any additional help because there's not enough money or something. Captain Amazing can do it all, so why should I even bother? He was out when his perfect wife had pregnancy complications, but did anyone say anything about that?

I'm really angry and sad and disappointed. I'm disappointed in myself for crying in front of him and disappointed in him for being such a stereotypical rich white male asshole. I'm only me and I don't have a partner/significant other, and family isn't close by. Being alone right now is tough.

I did the best I could and it wasn't enough, and I feel shitty because of it.

Edited August 6, 2015 by bilgistic

[DeLurker]

Sorry you are going through all of that.  It sounds like a no win situation and the fundamental unfairness of that burns.

 

I wish I had some constructive advice, but all I have is sympathy and empathy having been in that situation myself. 

[bilgistic]

Thanks, DeLurker. Boss has this whole deal about us being "friends" and even asked to be my Facebook friend, which I denied. I have always said that just because you work with someone doesn't make them your friend. I also told him I don't trust people. Yesterday was proof why.

[bilgistic]

More of the sprained foot saga... I went to a podiatrist today because my foot was still just as swollen as two weeks ago and my pain level varies throughout the day to "I want to scream" level in the evening.

My foot hasn't been healing properly. The doc did a "soft cast" wrap on it that I have to wear for two weeks and I have to wear a immobilizer boot for FOUR WEEKS.

What did my boss have to say, you ask, when of course I went back to the office on Friday afternoon after my appointment. Did he say:

"Gee, you really were in pain!"

Or:

"Wow. I see now that you were being truthful about how you felt; this is serious!"

N O P E ! ! !

He said, "I told you that you should've used crutches."

[magicdog]

So sorry bilgistic!  Your boss is a real jackass!!       May I suggest this?

 

 

I'm really fed up.  I found out that the promotion I was up for will not happen - corporate decided to eliminate the position!  I can't begin to tell you how pissed off I am about this!!  I put in 15 years learning the ins and outs of the job - only to have it literally go poof!

 

I'm also upset over something I found out from a co-worker.  It seems he applied for a transfer to a different department (for which he was qualified for) but our boss told the department head he wasn't letting him go.  He was doing good work for him and he doesn't want to lose his talent!!  My temper went through the roof because that means we're all prisoners because we're good at our jobs and can only find progress if we go elsewhere!!!

Edited August 15, 2015 by magicdog

[Petunia13]

That sucks MagicDog

[bilgistic]

Ha--I could just bag up some of my cats' fresh turds and sling them at his house.

Companies don't care about their employees anymore, and that attitude transmits to senior and middle management. They don't like that employees are "disloyal" and jump ship at any opportunity, but what keeps us there? We each do the work of two and three people now so that companies don't have to pay more people or spend what little they do on "benefits".

[magicdog]

what keeps us there

 

 

The only thing keeping me where I am is lack of job offers elsewhere.  I polished my resume and tried to look for greener pastures but no luck.  Apparently I'm lucky to be employed at all.  My cousin - who is a highly skilled techie (designed all sorts of computer applications from credit card companies to the US Navy )  could barely find work and she's still on the hunt for something better. Can't find much - importing people from China and India is cheaper.

[bilgistic]

Like I said, people literally do more work now than in previous decades and generations. When I started working in the mid-late 1990s, which wasn't long ago on an economic scale, I got to take actual lunch hours and leave at normal hours. My job now is actually two jobs together. Two physical people used to do my job. Our department has three people when it had six at one time (before I was there). We are all overworked and stressed, but my boss doesn't want to make less money (he works on commission, and personnel comes from his "budget"). Keep in mind, I make something to the tune of 1/25 what he does and his wife doesn't work and drives a Mercedes SUV, so it's not like another person is going to put him in the poorhouse.

Edited August 16, 2015 by bilgistic

[auntlada]

The only thing keeping me where I am is lack of job offers elsewhere.  I polished my resume and tried to look for greener pastures but no luck.  Apparently I'm lucky to be employed at all.  My cousin - who is a highly skilled techie (designed all sorts of computer applications from credit card companies to the US Navy )  could barely find work and she's still on the hunt for something better. Can't find much - importing people from China and India is cheaper.

 

What kind of work do you do and what part of the country are you in (or want to live in)?

[janestclair]

I teach high school biology. Morale in my district is at an all time low for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that the administration does not treat us like professionals.  Case in point, we all needed a doctor's note to get a key to the closest bathroom in our hallway (locked to students due to vandalism and graffiti) , even though the next closest faculty bathroom was not doable in a 4 minute passing time. I got your doctor's note right here - it's called having a bladder with a finite volume. Ugh  It took until April to get a key, and we started in September. My point, and I do have one, is that I feel you on being stuck. I so want to find a position elsewhere, but there just aren't jobs.  Go into science they said, there are plenty of jobs, they said.  Yeah...not in biology. 

 

We start school in two weeks, and I just looked up my class schedule for the year. I have a full teaching load (30 credit hours) PLUS 2 independent studies no one deigned to tell me about (which is an additional 6 hours for $0 extra pay).  How about hell no?  And my lab schedule is all jacked up because the idiots in charge of putting it all together have no idea how to schedule science labs.  Why do they always put the stupid people in charge? It's literally never been right since the new supervisor started doing it.

 

Now we wait and see how long it takes to fix. I predict we will be at a minimum of two weeks into the school year before it is rectified.
 

I love teaching, and I love my kids, but the administration leaves much to be desired.

[magicdog]

We have the same problem here.  My sister is a teacher for the CCSD.    They claim to be hurting for teachers (to the point of asking retired teachers to come back to work - while still collecting their pension checks!).  I have heard some prospective teachers inquire only to get the brush off - a lot of disorganization there.  There are some good schools with good staffers, but you have to look for them. 

 

 

Why do they always put the stupid people in charge?

 

I've been asking myself that question for a looooong time!   I think they're sleeping with the right people and/or are somebody's in-law with connections. 

 

Seriously, I think there's a mentality here that if someone thinks you're too smart or too competent (enough to possibly take over their job), they keep you down so they look good.  I remember when my dad applied for a hotel security job (he'd just retired and thought about working to keep busy) at a major Strip resort.  When his would be supervisor saw his resume (retired LEO from NYC - loads of supervisory experience, crisis management,  life saving certification, etc.), the guy looked at him and said, "Hey, you could take my job!"  At that point, Dad knew his resume was going to end up in the round file.   Managers are too intimidated by competent people.

[Quof]

Perhaps I'm just bragging here - my boss, who is a serious bitch, starts a 2 week vacation tomorrow.  It's kind of sad how happy this makes the rest of the office. 

 

Sorrynotsorry

[bilgistic]

Case in point, we all needed a doctor's note to get a key to the closest bathroom in our hallway (locked to students due to vandalism and graffiti), even though the next closest faculty bathroom was not doable in a 4 minute passing time. I got your doctor's note right here - it's called having a bladder with a finite volume.

WHAT! I don't know much about this kind of thing, but it seems like a pretty basic labor-law violation to not provide RESTROOMS for your employees! Everyone has to go to the bathroom; it's not a medical condition! I'd contact the EEOC immediately.

[auntlada]

We have the same problem here.  My sister is a teacher for the CCSD.    They claim to be hurting for teachers (to the point of asking retired teachers to come back to work - while still collecting their pension checks!).  I have heard some prospective teachers inquire only to get the brush off - a lot of disorganization there.  There are some good schools with good staffers, but you have to look for them. 

 

 

I've been asking myself that question for a looooong time!   I think they're sleeping with the right people and/or are somebody's in-law with connections. 

 

Seriously, I think there's a mentality here that if someone thinks you're too smart or too competent (enough to possibly take over their job), they keep you down so they look good.  I remember when my dad applied for a hotel security job (he'd just retired and thought about working to keep busy) at a major Strip resort.  When his would be supervisor saw his resume (retired LEO from NYC - loads of supervisory experience, crisis management,  life saving certification, etc.), the guy looked at him and said, "Hey, you could take my job!"  At that point, Dad knew his resume was going to end up in the round file.   Managers are too intimidated by competent people.

 

For service and devotion

You would think that I

Would deserve a fat promotion

Want to move ahead

But the boss won't seem to let me

I swear sometimes that man is

Out to get me, hmmm

 

And so on.

 

Dolly (or whoever) was on to something.

[janestclair]

WHAT! I don't know much about this kind of thing, but it seems like a pretty basic labor-law violation to not provide RESTROOMS for your employees! Everyone has to go to the bathroom; it's not a medical condition! I'd contact the EEOC immediately.

 

Yeah, their argument was that there was a bathroom. But they failed to take into account that it was nigh impossible to get there, do your business, and get back in the time between classes.  We did get the union involved, and that's how we eventually got keys.  On the plus side, I now have the bladder of a camel, so there's that.  

 

My independent study which I was assuming was ONE kid, because you know, independent?  6 kids.  That's a class in my estimation, which runs at the same time as one of my other classes.  Yeah....I may be a biology teacher, but I have not mastered the art of cloning.  I cannot be two places at one time.  What a cluster.

[Proclone]

I can't tell you guys, that I am starting to wish she would stay at home and just work from there, so I can do my job, because there are four other lawyers that I support, who don't give me such hassles. And everything that is IT related? I tell her to call our IT guy. Her response? "I don't want to bother him."  My response?

"That's what he's there for. I am not IT. I don't know the intricacies of [insert tech issue]. That's a conversation you need to have with IT guy. Do you want me to call him for you?"

 

 

I hated being called for IT issues when I was a secretary.  I worked in hospitals and people used to call me from other units to ask me if I could come up and fix their computer/fax/printer/copier, because someone told them I was good at that sort of thing.  It's not like I had any special knowledge or anything, my solution to all IT problems was to reboot it or unplug and plug back in and curse at it.  If that didn't work I couldn't help you.  I told people repeatedly that was all I did and they could do it themselves, but they still called me. Doctors I worked for were the worst in terms of not being able (or willing to learn) how to use office technology.  I used to work for one that would pay me overtime to stay and wait for him to finish a report so I could fax it for him, because apparently he could not figure out how to work a fax machine by himself.  Million dollar pieces of medical equipment he had no problem with, but a fax machine was beyond him. 

 

In fact a co-worker seriously pissed me off the other day by asking me to fix his computer.  I am no longer a secretary, I just started as a nurse and I was busy finishing up charting on my patients so I could go home when he asked.  He prefaced it by saying, "I know you're not the secretary anymore but..." as if that makes it better.  I told him I was busy.

 

An unrelated thing that I'm beginning to discover I hate now that I am working as a nurse is being referred to as "girl" or "the girl."  As in, "Oh good the girl is here with my medication."  I told you my name.  It's even written on the board in your room, I'd be prefer to be called by it.  If you can't bother to remember it than "nurse" is fine.  But "girl" makes me feel like it's the 1950's and I'm your stewardess.  Not to mention I am pretty far from a girl at this point in my life.  I should add that it doesn't bother me when confused patients do it, only when ones that know better do it.

Edited August 21, 2015 by Proclone

[bilgistic]

I correct people who call any female aged 18 and over a "girl". She is a woman. Also, a group of people aren't "guys", as in "Hey, guys!" They are people. Don't dismiss women. That's my feminist rant for this minute.

[Proclone]

I correct people who call any female aged 18 and over a "girl". She is a woman. Also, a group of people aren't "guys", as in "Hey, guys!" They are people. Don't dismiss women. That's my feminist rant for this minute.

 

Slightly off topic, another sexist thing that often bothers me is that my (real) first name is unisex (but is more often used for men than women), but apparently it causes everything sent to me to be addressed to "Mr. Proclone."  Which I find really annoying.  Bringing this back on topic, even my employer does this when they mail things to my home.  It ticks me off because it's so unnecessary.  They don't need to add the honorific they could just address to my name and it would save me being annoyed.

[janestclair]

Proclone, I had the same issue when I worked in a doctor's office.  I was not the IT person either, but somehow it became my job to fix things, even though my method was identical to yours, right down to the cursing. 

 

Where I am now though, the IT department is all a bunch of sexist pigs.  You just reminded me of something that drove me crazy at the time. I had an LCD projector mounted on my ceiling that crapped out on the first day of school.  So, I assumed the bulb burned out, and put in a ticket.  Bulb was replaced, same thing happened. So now I know it's not the bulb.  I put together that it would work for 15 minutes before crapping out, and figured it must be an issue with the fan and overheating.  Tell this to the IT guys.  They take the projector, "fix" it, and bring it back.  Back and forth until December until I had enough. They brought me a new projector, and put my old one into a (male) coworker's classroom.  I told him to tell IT it's the fan, and he did.  Lo and behold, it finally got fixed. 

 

Apparently you need a penis to know what's wrong with electronics. Who knew?

[bilgistic]

Oh, folks...this week...

This week, the boss put an open box (like a tie box) on the edge my desk. He said, "This is the 'complaint box'. Every time you complain, you have to put a quarter in it." I just looked at him with a look that would wither flowers. My coworker/the boss's little buddy chirps in to cut the tension with, "It's for everybody!!" At the end of the day, I put the box on the boss's desk. I told him the next day that I reject the complaint box. Of course, he and my coworker have talked about it constantly. I was told to donate to the complaint box when I said I had a headache. Fuck me running.

I finally had it and "jokingly" told the boss today that if we were going to have a "complaint box" for me, we were going to have a "New Girl"-style "Douchebag Jar" for them.

Edited August 22, 2015 by bilgistic

[Proclone]

My husband had back surgery about 10 years ago. There was an old man patient in the next room after the surgery. He would say, in a creepy sing songy voice, Pretty Nurse Pretty Nuuurrrrr uurrrrrse! If you don't come faaaaaaaster I'm gonna splaaaaatter MY blaaaaaaaaadder. 

 

I think you should be nicer to the guy who prefaces it with I know you aren't the secretary anymore. He seems like a nice guy. He is acknowledging your upgrade, while still remembering your past helpfulness.

 

I've had patients say all kinds of strange things to me.  As I said, the confused patients don't really bother me.  The one that are completely aware of what they're saying and doing are another story.  I had one hit on me the other day while I was discharging him, after he had made my life a living hell all day (not to mention he was old enough to be my father and was married).  It was one of my more bizarre experiences.

 

I probably would have been more willing to try to help the guy with his computer if, one, he hadn't asked me at change of shift when I was in the middle of other, quite frankly, more important things and two, there hadn't been an actual secretary there who could have helped him.  Plus as I said, it was never really my job to fix any of the equipment anyway.

[backformore]

Being called a "girl"  in the workplace has an additional implication -  that the JOB is being someone's "girl", which was at one time, slang for secretary/assistant/lackey/personal errand runner.   The typical thing was in a group of men and women with equal status, the woman would be asked to make copies, get coffee, fax something, etc.   And if you do it ONCE, just to be nice, it becomes part of your job.   As above, it's not that a doctor cannot use a fax machine, it's that it's a job that's beneath him. 

 

Even now, I was asked by a younger guy who somehow is now my new supervisor -  In the coffee room, he asked "so who's job is it to make coffee?"   (because he saw I had made it the day before)   I replied "whoever wants to drink it."   Because goddam if I was going to take the hint and make coffee for him, and then have it become assumed that it was part of my job!  

 

A young family member announced that she got a part time job as a "host"  at a restaurant.   She was immediately corrected that she was a "hostess", by older relatives, and she was confused by it because, clearly, she knew what her job title was.   I had to explain to other family members (mostly younger than me)  that if the JOB doesn't require you to be female, then changing the job title from "er"   to "ess"   was demeaning.   Waiter/waitress. actor/actress, host/hostess  the "ess"  the job is the job.  Unless you work at Hooter's , being female is not part of your job. 

People dismiss it as unnecessary political correctness, but taking gender out of the job title is a step toward equal pay for women.  Back when I was first in the workplace, it was common and accepted to have men and women do the exact same job, but men to be paid more.   

 

anyway - Proclone - it's a similar thing.   Nobody wants to be known as the only person who can fax, reset the computer, make copies, or make coffee - because the people asking CAN do it themselves, they just don't feel  like it.  And it's demeaning to be a professional, and be called on to do things that are "beneath"  someone else to figure out for themselves.  It's not a matter of not wanting to be helpful -it's about professional integrity.  

Edited August 22, 2015 by backformore

[backformore]

Oh, folks...this week...

This week, the boss put an open box (like a tie box) on the edge my desk. He said, "This is the 'complaint box'. Every time you complain, you have to put a quarter in it." I just looked at him with a look that would wither flowers. My coworker/the boss's little buddy chirps in to cut the tension with, "It's for everybody!!" At the end of the day, I put the box on the boss's desk. I told him the next day that I reject the complaint box. Of course, he and my coworker have talked about it constantly. I was told to donate to the complaint box when I said I had a headache. Fuck me running.

 

I'd be tempted to bring in a quarter, put it in the box and COMPLAIN "you're an asshole!"

Worth a quarter! 

Edited August 22, 2015 by backformore

[DeLurker]

Oh, folks...this week...

This week, the boss put an open box (like a tie box) on the edge my desk. He said, "This is the 'complaint box'. Every time you complain, you have to put a quarter in it." I just looked at him with a look that would wither flowers. My coworker/the boss's little buddy chirps in to cut the tension with, "It's for everybody!!" At the end of the day, I put the box on the boss's desk. I told him the next day that I reject the complaint box. Of course, he and my coworker have talked about it constantly. I was told to donate to the complaint box when I said I had a headache. Fuck me running.

I finally had it and "jokingly" told the boss today that if we were going to have a "complaint box" for me, we were going to have a "New Girl"-style "Douchebag Jar" for them.

Wow.  Gotta believe your list for HR (or a lawyer) is long.

[GHScorpiosRule]

I don't ask for much. I really don't. Just that you be clear on what you want or need me to do and to use complete sentences, and if you're emailing me from your phone, to make sure that the stupid autocorrect didn't "correct" a word that didn't need correcting.

 

This morning, I receive an email from the associate, asking me... "Can you so this?" No lie. I'm like what? Save it? Upload it? Print it? WHAT? I've learned not to take the initiative on certain things because when I do, the "lawyers" just undo it and do it their way. Even if it's the wrong way.

 

So when he comes in, I ask him...and...{taking deep breath here} he starts to argue with me. Tells me I should "know" by now what to do when we get these reports. Which, yes, I do know, but what I know and what I should do, is almost the opposite of what he wants me to do.  Then there's my boss, who can't keep the two case matters straight and is asking me why I'm emailing everyone about a report that came out on August 10? And, I swear, I am not exaggerating, I spent 10 fucking minutes, emailing with him, explaining to him that this was a different report. And he's off "correcting" my email to the client, only to go back, and trying to be funny by saying, "retract my previous retraction" so he won't look like a micromanaging tool.

 

Why bother making me responsible for emailing this stuff, if you're going to poke in and try to correct a non-existent error?

 

 I need a drink. And it's only 10:30 AM.

Edited August 25, 2015 by GHScorpiosRule

[Proclone]

Being called a "girl"  in the workplace has an additional implication -  that the JOB is being someone's "girl", which was at one time, slang for secretary/assistant/lackey/personal errand runner.   The typical thing was in a group of men and women with equal status, the woman would be asked to make copies, get coffee, fax something, etc.   And if you do it ONCE, just to be nice, it becomes part of your job.   As above, it's not that a doctor cannot use a fax machine, it's that it's a job that's beneath him. 

 

Even now, I was asked by a younger guy who somehow is now my new supervisor -  In the coffee room, he asked "so who's job is it to make coffee?"   (because he saw I had made it the day before)   I replied "whoever wants to drink it."   Because goddam if I was going to take the hint and make coffee for him, and then have it become assumed that it was part of my job!  

 

A young family member announced that she got a part time job as a "host"  at a restaurant.   She was immediately corrected that she was a "hostess", by older relatives, and she was confused by it because, clearly, she knew what her job title was.   I had to explain to other family members (mostly younger than me)  that if the JOB doesn't require you to be female, then changing the job title from "er"   to "ess"   was demeaning.   Waiter/waitress. actor/actress, host/hostess  the "ess"  the job is the job.  Unless you work at Hooter's , being female is not part of your job. 

People dismiss it as unnecessary political correctness, but taking gender out of the job title is a step toward equal pay for women.  Back when I was first in the workplace, it was common and accepted to have men and women do the exact same job, but men to be paid more.   

 

anyway - Proclone - it's a similar thing.   Nobody wants to be known as the only person who can fax, reset the computer, make copies, or make coffee - because the people asking CAN do it themselves, they just don't feel  like it.  And it's demeaning to be a professional, and be called on to do things that are "beneath"  someone else to figure out for themselves.  It's not a matter of not wanting to be helpful -it's about professional integrity.  

 

I just want to make it clear, that the being called "girl," and being asked to fix IT issues are really two separate issues for me.  Patients are really the only ones who have ever referred to me as "girl."  It's usually older patients (and both men and woman do it), but when they're with it enough to know better it still irks me.  I did get called a "good girl," once by a (female) co-worker.  She got a death glare and told not to call me a girl in response.  I unfortunately can't do that with patients.

 

I actually think the assumption that I know something about IT issues, actually stems not from my sex, but rather from my age.  I'm younger than most of co-workers, so they assume I know how to work/fix computers.  But you are right, it's not really a matter at this point of wanting or not wanting to helpful to my co-workers.  I do very much want to help my co-workers and if I am not busy doing my actual job I am still willing to help them.  The co-worker I mentioned in my post picked the busiest time of day to ask me (and he knew it).  He expected me to drop everything to help him because he needed help.  Giving me a token "I know you're not a secretary anymore..." doesn't change the fact that he thought his issue with the computer was more important than what I was doing.

 

To be honest this was an issue I knew was coming when I decided to stay at my current hospital as a nurse.  It's going to take sometime until my co-workers stop seeing me as their secretary and start seeing me as a fellow nurse.

[DeLurker]

Being called a "girl"  in the workplace has an additional implication -  that the JOB is being someone's "girl", which was at one time, slang for secretary/assistant/lackey/personal errand runner.   The typical thing was in a group of men and women with equal status, the woman would be asked to make copies, get coffee, fax something, etc.   And if you do it ONCE, just to be nice, it becomes part of your job.   As above, it's not that a doctor cannot use a fax machine, it's that it's a job that's beneath him.

Having been raised with 4 older brothers, I somehow managed to negotiate these gender biases early in life (when convenient) without it being particularly confrontational.  When I was younger and some co-workers or supervisor referred to me as a "girl", I would usually find a reason to refer to them as "boy" at some point in a reasonably close timeframe (although not immediately).  When they would respond "I'm not a boy, I am a man" I would reply "and I am no longer a girl".

 

A former Sr VP stopped asking his executive assistant to get him coffee when he found out she was mixing in decaf or watering it down in "interest of his health".  He would go get it himself at the corporate cafeteria because he wanted the high octane version.  She was brilliant because he never figured out that her defense was not the primary reason. 

[jenh526]

Have you ever worked with someone who has it in for you? Someone that nitpicks everything you do and blows it up into a big issue and makes sure management gets panicked about it? Yeah, meet my coworker from hell.

[ABay]

nosleepforme, do you work on a college campus? If so, being socially awkward is the norm and you'll fit right in.

 

jenh526, I've been lucky enough not to have that happen to me personally but there is someone in my workplace who has done that to others. A couple of them left rather than work with her. The ones who stayed used a variety of methods to get her to back off: two confronted her directly on their own, one asked for a meeting with her and the immediate supervisor (with a union rep, mostly to have a witness because both bully and bullied were in the same bargaining unit), one wrote a complaint to HR and cc'd the immediate supervisor and the union, The situation is complicated by the very close relationship between the bully and the supervisor.

Edited August 27, 2015 by ABay

[DeLurker]

nosleepforme - what kind of things are the social aspect of the job that are ramping up?  Interaction with customers?  Most people are so consumed with their own day-to-day matters, that the only interactions that stand out are the really rude ones or the exceptionally nice ones.  I think most of us fall into the middle and probably don't register longer than in the moment. 

 

Consider this - while you are focusing on your social anxiety, they are probably not even noticing because they are focusing on getting to their next appointment, the car that cut them off in traffic, is their hair frizzy today, ...

[jenh526]

The situation is complicated by the very close relationship between the bully and the supervisor.

 

Thanks for the reply, ABay. This is the part that enrages me the most - I understand that there are people who are going to be jerks everywhere, but why do almost all managers support that kind of behavior?! If they didn't, the bully would lose much of his/her power. Instead (as in my situation), managers promote them. We've already lost two good people, and I need to get out of there too before it literally kills me.

[MargeGunderson]

Have you ever worked with someone who has it in for you? Someone that nitpicks everything you do and blows it up into a big issue and makes sure management gets panicked about it? Yeah, meet my coworker from hell.

I can sympathize! My manager is a delightful combination of bully and incompetent. Her manager lets her get away with it despite complaints and people refusing to work with my manager. I wish I had good advice for you, but I haven't found an effective strategy that works. It has helped my morale to know that other people see her bad behavior too. For a long time I thought I was being too sensitive but then people started to comment on it, and it was a relief that I wasn't crazy. I hope you have colleagues that you can commiserate with.

My manager's manager just left, leaving my manager with few (if any) allies. There's a betting pool for how long before she's fired. My money is on December!

[janestclair]

I can sympathize! My manager is a delightful combination of bully and incompetent. Her manager lets her get away with it despite complaints and people refusing to work with my manager. I wish I had good advice for you, but I haven't found an effective strategy that works. It has helped my morale to know that other people see her bad behavior too. For a long time I thought I was being too sensitive but then people started to comment on it, and it was a relief that I wasn't crazy. I hope you have colleagues that you can commiserate with.

My manager's manager just left, leaving my manager with few (if any) allies. There's a betting pool for how long before she's fired. My money is on December!

 

My immediate supervisor is exactly the same - an incompetent bully.  She throws people under the bus for her own screw ups, repeatedly.  But she's a sycophant (largely because I don't think she has any brain cells of her own) and will do whatever HER bosses tell her to do, so she stays. My strategy (honed after years of putting up with her) is as follows.

1) Document every single conversation. Follow up any verbal conversation with an email outlining the main points of the discussion, so she can't come back later and say she said something else, because she will.

2) Agreeing with her and then just doing what I want anyhow.  Many of us have gotten written up for simply disagreeing with her. She considers that unprofessional behavior.  So now, I agree and do whatever. 

3) Lots of passive aggression.  As an example, we have to share a classroom (lucky me!).  Her office is right across the hall from my room, and she asked me for a drawer. for months, I kept "forgetting" about her drawer request because seriously, you're across the hall, why do you need a drawer? Eventually, I gave her a drawer - the one drawer that was missing a handle.  She didn't specify she wanted a handle.  It still entertains me to see her handle-less drawer. 

 

Since most of my department is actively hostile rather than passive aggressive, she now thinks we're buddies.  Yeah....no. But, it has made my life easier, although I still can't stand her face. 

[magicdog]

Here's one from the co-irker file:

 

While working in my office, a co-worker and I were going over some things.  It's a small space and we were rather close together.  Suddenly, the co-worker jumps and flinches.  I asked him what happened.  I turn around and it seems the co-irker put an ice cube on his neck.  I told her in a very serious tone not to do that, since that "joke" could have lead to [me] getting hit in the face by my co-worker.  I find out she's been doing stuff like this to the co-worker for months.  Interestingly enough, he came to me about it (she'd poke or pinch him or some such thing) and I told him that if it was unwanted, it's considered harassment and to report it since he doesn't have to take it.  It's also no coincidence this co-irker is slow as molasses at work and takes forever to do the simplest tasks.   I keep wishing she'd go elsewhere - anywhere! 

 

My immediate supervisor is exactly the same - an incompetent bully

 

 

 

I have one who works on another shift - although we used to work together.  This idiot must have something on someone because she's quite the incompetent.  I've been at my job for several years (and many other positions at the same shop) and yet she saunters in to tell me how to do mine!  We nearly came to blows but I made it clear I wasn't going to put up with her crap.  She then kept enforcing rules on me, but letting others under her command do what they wanted.  I kept a record of that in my notes - just in case.   I've had co-workers on her shift tell me about how she's driving the talent away!  They would rather risk unemployment than deal with her nonsense!